High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 610: Your Mindset is Your Superpower with Allistair McCaw, Keynote Speaker and 7-Time Best-Selling Author

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Allistair McCaw is recognized as one of the world’s leading figures on team culture, leadership, and mindset. For over 25 years, he has consulted and worked with numerous Olympians, Grand Slam Champions, Fortune 500 companies and NCAA Colleges including LSU, SMU, Duke, and the University of Minnesota.  An author of 7 best-selling books and a keynote speaker, Allistair consults and mentors leaders, coaches, teams and organizations. A 29x marathon finisher and former 5-time World Championship competitor in the sport of Duathlon, Allistair resides in Florida. In this episode, Cindra and Allistair discuss:  7 Types of People You Should Surround Yourself With   The 90/9 Rule  3 Steps to Achievement  The Power of Your Story And, 10 Things You Should Let Go Of    HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE LEARN MORE ABOUT ALLISTAIR   FOLLOW SIGN UP FOR THE FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH CINDRA’S TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.  

Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Cindra Kampoff, and thank you so much for joining us for Episode 610. I'm the founder of the Mentally Strong Institute, where we help executives, leaders, and athletes play big and achieve their most audacious goals. So if you're an executive, a leader, or an athlete, we want to help you play big and achieve your biggest goals. And we invite you to sign up for a free coaching call with one of my team members at freementalbreakthroughcall.com. It's free, no strings attached, just to help you think like a high performer. And we've been able to help so many of you through this free call. So again, if you want to achieve your goal quicker, uplevel your confidence and increase your influence, you can visit freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough

call. Now, in today's episode, I interview Alistair McCaw, and it's a great one, a very powerful episode about using your mindset and using it as your superpower. Now, Alistair McCaw is recognized as one of the world's leading figures on the topics of team culture, leadership, and mindset. And for over 25 years, he has consulted and worked with numerous Olympians, Grand Slam champions, Fortune 500 companies, and NCAA colleges. He is the author of seven best-selling books and is a keynote speaker. He's a 29-time marathon finisher and former five-time world champion competitor in the sport of duathlon. And in this episode,

Alistair and I talk about seven types of people you should surround yourself with, the 90-slash-9 rule, three steps to achievement, the power of owning your story, and 10 things you should let Go of. If you'd like to see the full show notes and description of this podcast, you can head over to cindracampoff.com slash 610 for episode 610. All right, without further ado, let's bring on Alistair. Thank you for joining us on the High Performance Mindset. Today, I have Alistair McCaw on the podcast.

And Alistair, I read your new book, Mindset is Your Superpower. It is your seventh book, which is incredible. You have other books, Becoming a Great Team Player, Seven Keys to Being a Great Coach, Habits That Make Champions, Lead with Purpose, Make an Impact, Champion-Minded, and Winning Attitude and Mindset.

You've been writing a lot, which congratulations. So thank you so much for being on the podcast and being willing to share with us a little bit about what you do and why you do it. Well, thanks so much for inviting me. It's great to be here. I mentioned that I follow you on Twitter, and I really appreciate the content that you provide. And so maybe just to get started, tell us a little bit about your passion and why you do work around mindset. Yeah, I think it's something, Cinder, that started a very long time ago, probably when I was a kid. In fact, a lot of the books I've written have been, the seed was planted very, very early with regards, a passion for something. And when I was

young, it was, it was sports and a vision of wanting to be a champion in a sport as well. And that's where the journey started. Um, being brought up in, in South Africa, we played a lot of sports in schools. I used to play seven, eight sports in school. It's just the normal thing to do there. And, um, even, even things like leadership and team captaincy and those things always, uh, was always interesting to me of what made a good captain and what made a good leader. And that's going back to when I was 9, 10, 11 years old. And little did I know that all those things that were being planted would only harvest many, many years later into writing books about those subjects as well. So it started very, very early for me. Yeah, it's kind of similar to me. I mean, I do what I do, mostly because of my own struggles

and successes as an athlete. You know, I was a high performing cross country and track athlete that was really good in high school and then got to college and just kind of had lots of ups and downs. So, you know, what is that saying you do instead of research, me search, you know, learn more about yourself. Well, I haven't heard that before. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's why I really started studying performance psychology was to understand myself. And now, obviously, that's led me to helping others as well. Awesome. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about why you chose this book, Mindset is Your Superpower,

and why did you write this one specifically? Well, again, it goes back to the previous books I've written. All of them touch on mindset, on purpose, a lot of the things that you talk about in your book as well. It's always been a passion of mine. I wouldn't say that writing books was a passion of mine. I never thought I'd write a book, especially with my school record. I wasn't the brightest in the class. I actually flunked English. So I always say if my teachers found out that I actually wrote books and had best-selling

books, I think they'd fall over backwards. But, you know, it's funny where life takes us. And, you know, here I am, seven books, which I've been super blessed to. And I really just enjoy the process of writing books. And for me, it's been, you know, the best way I believe to learn something or to study a particular topic is to write. So that was my first book, Seven Keys to Being a Great Coach. That was my experiences of being a coach and working in the high performance arena. And really, it was just notes that I'd taken down and I was learning.

And I thought, well, why don't I put this into a book and share it with others? And even my last book, Mindset is Your Superpower, again, is learnings. It's looking up on particular subjects and learning more about self-awareness and learning more about work ethic and attitude and all these things that are controllables. I wanted to find out a little bit more about them. And again, what better way to share with others? And I decided to put it into a book. Yeah, I love it. And I feel similar. I think about writing my book, which was really, my first book was really difficult, just took a long time. But it's like I developed my best ideas by sitting down and sometimes forcing myself to write, you know. And the best part about writing is you can hire editors,

and so you don't have to be a perfect writer, you know, and sometimes people think they have to be. That's the key. I definitely said my editor works super, super hard on my writing. You know, a lot of the time, Cinder, I'll just brain dump in terms of just write things down of what I'm thinking. And like you said, thank goodness for great editors because she's able just to format it correctly and put it in place.

But I would hate to edit my own work, to be honest, because it really is just what's in my mind is going on onto paper or shall we say onto the computer. And that's for somebody else to organize. And, you know, while we're talking about this, if there's anybody out listening, and I'm sure there is, that have maybe had the desire to write their own book, like you just said there, Cindy, you don't have to be a born writer or qualified

or the best at English or whatever. I wasn't. And here we are today, which I've been super lucky. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think that's inspiring for people who are listening, because I know there's people who are listening that want to write a book, but they maybe have these limiting beliefs about like, I'm not a good writer, I don't have anything to say. But once you start it, you know, the momentum builds. So before we dive into mindset is your superpower, I'd like us to take a step back and talk about

what do you see the best of the best doing? And I think about just your work with Olympians and Grand Slam champions and Fortune 500 companies, even college athletics and all the different companies and teams that you worked with as a keynote speaker. How would you answer that? What do you see the best of the best doing in terms of mindset and discipline and focus? I think there's obviously a few things. There's no one key to success. There's various keys, but definitely they know what they want. They know where they're going. As a mindset coach, and you would know this as well, Cinder, is that you've got to know

what your client or your customer wants, first of all, before you can help them. You can't help somebody if they don't have a clear vision of what they want. So I would say the best of the best know where they're going. Then they'll get the right people to help them get there as well. They'll find the best advice. We talk about your circle, how important circle is and and your network is um that's something i realized a little bit later on in life and you know you sometimes get that question on podcast what would you tell your 21 year old self or whatever i think that would be one of the things i'd tell myself is is uh build

your network build your your connections uh you don't have to be best friends with them. Be consistent in keeping in touch with them. And that's something I've done over the years of clients that have maybe spoken at their company or at their college, for example, is just drop them a message every now and again and say, hi, how are things going? That's how I've been able to build my business and build my clientele is just really just building up connections. Another thing I see is, and this really relates to the writing as well

of books, is they show up every day. Some of my days writing are terrible. I can't think of two lines to write. And then some days it just flows to you. You're in the zone, so to say, as they say in the performance industry. But the most important thing is the habit of showing up, regardless of if you feel like it or not. And having worked with some of the best athletes in the world, I've worked with over 50 Olympians, and having worked with some of the most powerful CEOs as well, is that regardless how they feel, they pitch up, they show up, they do the work. It doesn't necessarily always have to be the best work, but they do give their best effort.

So that's what I would say I see in the best in the best is that they know what they want. They show up every day regardless how they feel. They've built strong habits. And again, that big word, consistency. They're consistent in those actions and behaviors. Given that you've written seven books now, do you write every day? When I'm writing a book, yes. I've been able to build this discipline up. I'm not disciplined in everything, that's for sure, especially when it comes to 8 p.m. in the evening and the cookies come out and the chocolate and so on. I'm very poorly disciplined on that side. So if anyone's got advice for me, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for your honesty, but you're not perfect.

No, far from it. But when I'm writing a book uh i will show up every day regardless where i am regardless how much time i have sometimes i might be only be able to write 100 words which is um half a page but it's just keeping the habit of showing up and that's also for exercise as well um i regardless how i feel or where I am in the world, if I'm traveling, I will always get 20 minutes of exercise. And now to some, that might be, well, what are you going to get done in 20 minutes? That's not the point. It's just showing up. It's keeping the habit instead of having that excuse of, well, I don't have an hour to go train. So what's the point? I'm just going to just spend some time on Instagram or watch Netflix.

So definitely keeping that habit. Yeah, I love it. And we always have 20 minutes, right? We have 20 minutes. Yeah. So let's dive into Mindset is Your Superpower. And one of the things I really liked about this particular book is 77 chapters. So really easy to read content. And it's similar to Beyond Grit, my book, because I tried to write the chapters really

short because I find especially busy people, high performers, elite athletes, they don't have a lot of time, right? And so I love that it was like this new idea, 77 ways. And let's dive into one of the things you just said about your network. And have you ever heard of this phrase, your network is your net network? Yes, I've heard. Yeah, it makes me think of exactly what you're saying about you developing your network. And you talked about seven types of people we should surround ourselves with,

which I'll read these to the listeners. And then I'd love for you to just continue to describe this and help us really understand how we could use this list of seven. And so you said, number one, people who are on a mission. Number two, people who are grateful. Number three, people who bring out the best in you. Four, people who have good energy. Five, people who are doers. Six, people who are problem solvers. And seven, people who give you honest feedback. Tell us a little bit about, you know, why is it really important for us to think about who we surround ourselves with and why this list of seven versus, you know versus a list of nine or 10? Yeah, well, in the book, I love to use quotes in the book as well. And Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, once said, associate yourself with people who are likely to improve you. And I think it's so important. We can learn from absolutely everybody, regardless of how experienced they are, how much knowledge they have or little knowledge they have.

We can learn from absolutely everybody. I know, you know, that definitely helped me in my journey was even learning from, you know, I used to be in the coaching industry and working with high level athletes, was learning from coaches that were maybe only a year into the job, for example, new techniques and new ideas. And, you know, we can, the longer you're into the job, for example, new techniques and new ideas. And, you know, we can, the longer you're in a job, and I know there's a research and study about this as well, you can actually become lazier about learning new ideas and new techniques

because you've just been so stuck in the old ways. And we know this is true about surgeons as well. I think that's actually where the research comes from. But I think it's important that you surround yourself with people. The first one we spoke about people on a mission, meaning that people are going somewhere because they're going to be goal driven as well. And that that fuels you. You know, it's contagious, that kind of energy as well. you're with people who are pursuing something, they're maybe training for a marathon or they're doing something and that can inspire you to maybe start running or doing more exercise,

for example. I really do believe, as Jim Rowan said, you become the five people that you spend the most time with. And if you just sit and think about that for a second, are those five people that you spend the most time with pushing you in the right direction? Are they challenging you? Are they making you better? Are they able to tell you the truth? All these things are so, so important. And when I speak at schools or universities, and this is not just for the younger generation, but the importance of that choice you make of

who you choose to spend your time with is crucial to your success, crucial to your happiness, crucial to your future. That's just so important, but that applies to all ages. The second one we mentioned was people who are grateful. And I've discovered that the most grateful people are the happiest and kindest people. And those are people that you want to surround yourself with as well. Now, ambition is great. Striving for success is great. But there's that quote, and I don't know exactly how it goes, but it just tells you that you stay grateful while you're striving for success. Don't be always on to what's the next best thing and you're just not pausing to be grateful for what you have right now. The third one, people who bring out the best in you, pretty much aligns with that first one as

well, people who are on a mission, is again, people who are able to be honest with you, people who are able to challenge you, people who are able to pull you in the right direction, that's a critical one as well. Number four, people have a good energy. Now, if there's something that's contagious, it's energy and attitude. I don't know about you, Cinder, but when you're around people who are negative and pessimistic and complaining, it just absolutely drains you. And some of us, it can be people in our family, for example, or it can be people in the office. And that's really, really difficult. You know, that's often a question you hear is, well, that's great, but what do I do if it's my partner or somebody in my family, for example?

And those are very, very challenging situations. But people with good energy is a must. And then the people who are doers. There's a lot of people who like to talk about what they're going to do, but there's people who actually do it. And again, all these things, the type of people you hang around with are going to influence your direction in life. People who are problem solvers. Again, that relates to, you know, do you want to hang out with complainer, people who only see the problem, they gossip, they do all these things that just, again, drain your energy or people that go straight on to the solution. Now, when I'm collaborating with someone in a corporate environment or a work environment, that is one of the key qualities I look for in people is that they're problem solvers they're not spending much time uh um complaining or or actually not complaining they're looking for the solution straight away uh and and those are also people i just like to surround myself with as as friends as well is they're they're problem solvers and then the last one people who give you honest feedback um you know especially when you climb the ladder, there can be so many yes people, especially if you're the boss or the manager, that people just agree with you all the time.

And that's not good either. And that's one of the downfalls I've seen in leaders as well, is that they surround themselves with too many yes people. And they lose perception of reality as well. And that's where things start to go wrong in cultures, in all areas. So yeah, I'm glad you brought that one up, the seven types of people you should surround yourself with. Yeah. And I'm thinking about my kids, actually. I have two teenage boys. One's 14 and one's 16. And I think about- It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. Yeah, it's a lot of work.

But I think about them and who they surround themselves with. And now, you know, their friends shape them and they might not be able to obviously choose who's on their team, but they can choose who they sit by or who they talk to. You know, I think that's the same for us, too. Yeah. So that must be, I'm not a parent, but I can imagine as a parent, that one must be one of the most concerning things as well of who your kids are hanging out with, because they can influence so much in their life. You can do all the right things as a parent and have the right principles and values in the home, but that's such a critical area of who they're spending their time with. It is. And I think as a parent, you always can't control that. I mean, you can help them make good decisions, but ultimately, I can't control where my son sits at lunch or what people say to my sons at you know, at practice or whatever that might be. So some of it is you just have to trust they're making good decisions, you know. I love

this last one, people who give you honest feedback. And it makes me think of this quote by Brene Brown. I don't know if you've ever heard of this quote, but she said, clear is kind, unclear is unkind. And I actually have it on a sticky note right by my computer because sometimes it's really easy to not be honest. And even when people ask you for feedback and just say, oh, everything was great, instead of you're not really serving that person by not being honest with them. Yeah. But I think on that point as well, and this happens in the workplace as well, is that I've become over time, uh, Sandra, very, um,

careful of who I give advice and feedback to, because not everybody wants to hear that feedback and you want to be honest, of course, but sometimes you, you, it's not being dishonest, but is this the right person to give this feedback? Is this the right time? For example, sometimes you'd rather just not give feedback or I don't like to use the word criticism. But yeah, it's a tough one as well. So it reminds me of working with Nick and Nick worked with Boris Becker, who was the youngest winner of of wimbledon and boris had just started working with with nick and it was about a week where nick hadn't really said much to to boris on the court until boris gave in and said nick are you not going to say anything i i

pay you to be my coach and nick said well i'm glad you me, Boris, because now I'll give you the feedback. So that was a lesson. You have to wait until somebody is ready for the feedback or asks for it. I think it was a mistake I made, Sindra, years ago of giving people advice and feedback out of wanting to help them. But not everybody wants your feedback and advice. Not everybody wants to hear it. And it also goes to, you know, that I can't change anybody as a performance coach or a mindset coach or whatever it may be. You can't either. This is my opinion. It has to come from the person. You know, they have to be ready to want to change. And that's where we come in to provide them with the tools of how to make those changes.

But I cannot change anybody. That change starts from the person. Yeah, that's a really good point. Because even as a coach, I've learned to ask the question and say, I have an idea that might help you. Are you open to hearing that idea? Right? Because people are the experts at them. And it's, I think it is easy just to give unsolicited feedback. Yeah. Yeah. Because you want to, right? I mean, that's, that's our nature

as well, is that, and I know that you're along the same lines as me as my purpose is to make an impact and help as many people as possible. But I've learned over the years that not everybody is receptive of that. Yeah, absolutely. So there's another concept in your book that I thought was really sticky and interesting and I want to share with the listeners. And you talk about the 90 slash 9 rule. And you talk about how it takes 90 days to build a habit, but only nine days to lose it. And I'm curious on, okay, how did you come up with the 90 days and the nine days to lose it, right? And then how could this help us when we're trying to build habits? And maybe there's

something that the listeners are thinking like, hey, they don't really love about themselves that they'd like to change. How could we use this rule? Yeah, well, again, this is all about change. And this is all about developing better habits. So for me, it was getting back to that word gratitude that we just spoke about and one of the things i wanted to change on waking up each morning was instead of waking up and thinking about what i need to do today or thinking about what what i'm bothered about or whatever it was to first think about gratitude that was that was my goal was to wake up and think about gratitude now easier said than done how am i going to develop that thought? And we talk about mindset. Mindset is a skill. It needs to be trained.

Like to say that you're not born a winner, you're not born a loser, you're born a chooser. And we choose our mindset, we choose our attitude. Even though some of us have had tougher backgrounds and upbringing than others. We still get that choice. So one of the things I did was I wrote the word gratitude on a stick-it note and put it next to my bedside table, actually on the lamp, that every morning I'd wake up, I would see the word gratitude. And I'd think of two things I'm grateful for that day. Now, it could be absolutely anything from a good night's rest to the sun shining through the window to getting to talk to you today on the podcast. It could be absolutely anything. And maybe I'm a slow learner. Actually, I think I am a slow learner. That's why my books are pretty simple to read as well. They say that it takes 21 days to build a habit and

then there's 66 days. There's all these numbers. um it took me 90 days so maybe i'm a slower learner until i had in that habit that i no longer needed that that uh that cue ticket note with the word gratitude on it i was i was now waking up and it would just straight away come into my head which still does today i started this habit about three or four years ago um and it's an incredible way to wake up is first thinking of gratitude before, let me check my emails, let me see what's going on on Twitter. Oh my gosh, I've got to take the car in for a service today. The first thing was gratitude. I think that's been the best habit that I've built up. However, I also learned that it takes nine days to lose a habit. That's why it's called the 99 habit rule. Again, that could be a different number for others, but I've discovered in working with clients and working with athletes, for example, is when they stop doing something like properly hydrating before practice or whatever, they can lose that habit very, very quickly. So, you know, what's the best way to develop a habit? You know, James Clear talks about this very well as well, is definitely a cue to see

it. So for example, do you want to drink more water is the best way is to just, is to see water as much as you can. So what I do is, is, you know, not everybody's into plastic and I completely get that could be a tin, it could be a cup, but place water in the office, in your bedroom, downstairs in your living room, in the car, and every room you go into, you see water and you take a drink and you take a sip, and that's going to help you drink more water. So developing the habit is about seeing it. And like I said, it took me 90 days until it just clicked. It's on default. Well, I know in my life as well, when I, you know, it's, for example, if there's nine days in a row that I don't exercise, it's hard to get back at it, right? I try not to make

it nine days or whatever the habit might be. I also like what James Clear talks about is like habit stacking, right? I don't know if you remember this from his book, but when you want to start a new habit, stack it with something you already do. So even the way that you looked at the gratitude sticky note before you got out of bed, right? You're going to get out of bed anyway. So, you know, stack it with you getting out of bed. What do you think the impact was for you to just keep in mind the two things you're grateful for every day? Like what was the impact there? Yeah, like I said, it was massive. And what a way to start the day then, you know, thinking about your problems or thinking about what's coming up today, for example. It would just give me a more

sense of peace as well. I'd find myself, look i've always it's always been easy for me to get up in the morning i'm definitely more a morning person than an evening person but just you know training my mind to to think of something that makes me happier uh that gives me more energy you know it's a ripple effect that we're you know just gratitude that's a ripple effect in terms of your your attitude and your um how kind you are to people. And I definitely say if you're somebody that's grumpy in the morning or doesn't necessarily enjoy the morning, it's a great way to start your day. Yeah. There was one study that I read recently that showed that if you write something you're grateful for for seven days, it has a

lasting impact for 30. So yeah, so it's a powerful emotion. Funny you should mention that nine day, you know, if you don't exercise for nine days, I think it's funny you should mention it because it actually takes me back to, you know, I competed in five world championships in the sport of duathlon, which is running and biking. And I remember a coach telling me once that, you know, you start to lose, you know, I'd always be worried if I'd lost three or four days because of travel or having maybe a cough or something. And then I'd be, you know, you were an athlete as well. We think, oh my goodness, I'm losing all my training. I'm losing all my speed. My competitors are getting ahead of me. And he said to me that your body actually, you know,

the recovery actually does it good where you're still able to perform at a very high level for at least six or seven days after you haven't um uh trained necessarily and then you start to lose the the effects as well and he mentioned the word nine days so it's just that's cool it's just interesting you brought up that yeah yeah well it makes me think about i ran 15 marathons and, you know, in the taper and you've done this too as a duathlete is like in the taper. Sometimes you don't run very much or you might even take a day off, you know, and you're right. Your brain goes to the worst case. Like, am I even going to be ready?

It's like we have to trust ourselves and not let our automatic negative thoughts get the best of us. That's impressive. 15 marathons. Wow. What was your favorite marathon? My favorite marathon is the Boston Marathon, which I run five times. Yeah.

Wow. You must be pretty quick because that's a tough qualifying. There's always a very tough qualifying for that. Yeah, based on your gender and your age. Yeah. Yeah. So, and it's my favorite because it's a very challenging course. Like you run 13 miles downhill, which sounds awesome, right?

Downhill. But like halfway through, your quads are already hurting because you just ran downhill for 13. And then there's like this series of, it's the highest hill is called Heartbreak Hill. You know, I think they call it that to try to intimidate runners. Hi, this is Cyndra Campoff. And thanks for listening to the High Performance Mindset. Did you know that the ideas we share in the show are things we actually specialize in implementing? If you want to become mentally stronger, lead your team more effectively and get to your goals quicker.

Visit freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call with one of our certified coaches. Again, that's freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free call. Talk to you soon. So mindset is your superpower. There's a couple of other concepts I want to talk to you about in your book. And one of them you talked about, you know, you become your story. And I loved the quote, we become our most consistent thoughts, which I agree, right? I agree with that.

We become what we think about ourselves and whatever, you know, we believe about ourselves, we become more of. So I'm curious, how do you think you can become your story and how could we actually intentionally do that? What's your thoughts on that? Yeah. What do you think you eventually believe? I've always believed that short little quote, what do you think you start to believe about yourself? I've seen it in athletes as well, that you can talk yourself into or out of almost anything. I've seen athletes be very, very well prepared for an event and then talk themselves out of it. You know, my goodness, look how fit my competitors look.

Oh, why am I here? You can put in the best preparation for the last three months for this, for this race. And like you said, you've tapered and everything. But, you know, getting control of, of your mindset and the words you say to yourself is also one of the most important choices that you can make. We can't stop

negative thoughts from coming into our head but we can control how long we allow them to stay there you know i always believe that you know the difference between a positive and negative person is that positive people still uh get negative thoughts but the difference is in how quickly they let go of those negative thoughts. You know, you've maybe heard of Mel Robbins as well about the five-second rule. Yeah. You know, you only have five seconds for things to process. You know, I used that with athletes as well before I'd heard of Mel Robbins' five-second rule of,

okay, you know, for example, a professional tennis player makes a double fault or an unforced error is that it's natural that the first thought that's going to come into your head is, oh, how did I do that? Why did I do that? But good, okay, the quicker you can recognize that and within five seconds and change that thought and move on to the next point, for example, the better athlete you're going to become. I used to call it the FF factor. It was the forget and focus. So forget the previous point, focus on the next. Yeah, even some of the golfers and tennis players I've worked with, they've actually written that on. So for some of the tennis players, they've written it on the top of their grip on their racket that they see FF, forget focus.

So forget the last point, focus on the next. Golfers have written it on their golf glove that, okay, you missed that putt, you have five seconds to be miserable about it and then you move on to the next. So it really is about getting control of your thoughts. Again, it's impossible not to have negative thoughts, but it is possible in terms of how quickly you change those. Yeah. I appreciate you saying that. And I love the idea of the FF, forget and focus, and just even just giving yourself permission for five seconds to be upset or angry or whatever, because I think it's sometimes when we suppress that, um, negativity doesn't always

help us, you know, so allow yourself to feel it, but then move on really quickly. Um, because yeah, right. My apologies for, for interrupting. I'll give you a good example. So one of the tennis players I worked with reached two Grand Slam finals where he lost to Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic in Wimbledon and US Open. And working with him on the court every single day, we were working on this exact thing. that one of the biggest changes and jumps for him in his career was nothing to do with his technique or his tactics or his fitness. He had all those. Of course, if you're a top player in the world, you have all those qualities. But it was how quickly he could forget the previous mistake because what was happening was he had all the qualities,

he had all the weapons, but he just wasn't able to let go of mistakes quick enough. And on the court, he'd make a double fault and this was during practice. And we'd say FF, it almost sounds like a swear word, that it would be that repetition of the thoughts, repetition of the thoughts until it became stuck. And, you know, it took his career to the next level. Well, excellent. I think that's, you know, from my experience working with athletes as well, I think letting go of mistakes is one of the top five mental barriers, you know, because they have, especially high level athletes have very high standards for themselves and they expect they expect excellence and you know they they can quickly interpret that mistake as um something

really negative yeah i've seen this whole pickleball down here in florida yeah and here you've heard that as well and uh usually the guys i play with in the morning will tease me because you know i can get negative in myself as well. But, you know, it'll always come to me that five second thing, but they'll tease me and say, look, it's the guy who writes these books on positivity and mindset. Look at him. So even for me, it's a challenge every single day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for sharing that.

I think it's a challenge for me, too, because, you know, and what I find is really high performers, high achievers, they they overthink a lot and they have really high standards and sometimes perfectionistic standards. and moving on quickly from mistakes is difficult. It makes me think about on page 73 in your book, Mindset is Your Superpower, you gave us a list of 10 things we need to let go of. So I wanna introduce these 10 things to the audience and then I'd love for you to tell us about them. Like why do we need to let go of these 10 things? And I think of how this relates to my work and in my book, Beyond Grit,

I talk about practice number nine of the 10 practices is letting go, right? And it's also the most difficult practice I think people struggle with. So you said 10 things you need to let go of. Number one, judging others. So true. Number two, anything that disturbs your peace.

Three, comparing yourself to others. So true. Number four, thinking you aren't ready. Number five, thinking you aren't good enough. Number six, people who don't add to your life. Number seven, trying to do everything alone. So good, right? Number eight, holding on to the past, which can be really difficult. Number nine, worrying about things in the future. Again, very difficult. And number 10, negative self-talk. So you've given us a little bit of the five-second rule and changing our thoughts with the negative self-talk.

Why are these other nine things we need to let go of? Well, first of all, thank you for reminding me of those 10. I wouldn't have remembered those 10. i'm sure you're the same writing your book as well sometimes you forget what you even wrote wrote in the book and then you get asked it on a podcast and you're like oh my goodness what did i do what did i say i write that um yeah uh it's funny actually i was asked um you know the seven keys to being a great coach it was my first book and uh i was asked i I think three months ago on a podcast, and I actually forgot the fifth one. I was like, I can't believe this. I wrote this book. Maybe they, yeah, maybe they don't think I'm being honest here. No, getting back to it. So

the 10 things that you need to let go of, you know, judging others is a big one. And we all do. It's also something that comes very quickly to us and one of the techniques i um i wanted to change it we're all judgmental it's it's a human trait um you know there's a study that shows that it takes seven seconds for you to to give your opinion of somebody or something you've you've oh they're tall they're short they're they're overweight they're thin they're rich they're poor your your mind is just processing all this information they're good, they're short, they're overweight, they're thin, they're rich, they're poor. Your mind is just processing all this information. They're good looking, you know, whatever. You know, seven seconds.

That's how quick it is for us to have a judgment on somebody. But one of the things I did, Sandra, was when you see somebody, the very first thing you do is you look for something positive or something good. Now, that might be incredibly difficult because you don't like somebody because of something that's happened in the past. And now you have to see them each day in the office or at team practice is think of something good about them, anything. And I know it's very, very difficult, but that can already start to change the way you're thinking about someone. We've also got to remember that everybody has a story. Everybody has a reason of why they are who they are. You know, nobody's perfect.

We're not perfect. You know, I think that's important to remember. But number two is there anything that disturbs your peace? That's a massive one as well. And I think the more older you get and, you know, the more mature you become, you start to understand that a lot better as well. Is that being around negativity, being around drama is just costs, costs your energy, costs your happiness. And it can cost a lot more as well. Compare yourselves to others. Well, you know, there's no one quite like you,

so why compare yourself to somebody other? I think it's okay to compare, in a way, progress as well, in a way of being curious of how have they climbed, how have they got to be where I want to be eventually one day, and being inspired by that instead of being jealous of that, for example. Thinking you are ready. Again, this is a self-belief. And everybody has a past where some people struggle with confidence. They struggle with self-belief because of maybe something that was said to them in school or at the office or a partner, for example, which

can be very, very hurtful. And those words can stick with you. But I think, you know, the most important day is today. So thinking about the past and, you know, you can't bring it back. It is what it is, but you can choose who you will be today and how you're going to move forward from today. Thinking you are good enough, again, that's connected to the self-belief area as well and your self-esteem um something i've helped clients with as well as uh you know i say that the and i think i mentioned this in in mindset is your superpowers the most important conversation you're going to have with yourself is in the morning in the mirror so when you look

in the mirror first thing in the morning and you're brushing your teeth or your hair, what are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself? Are you looking for the things you don't like about yourself? I don't like my nose. I don't like my ears, this, that. Or are you encouraging yourself? Again, the good old stick it notes can come in handy on the mirror. Some people might find it cheesy, but writing something there like, I matter, or today's going to be an awesome day or whatever it may be to just inspire you. People who don't add to your life. I think we touched on that a little bit earlier about how important your circle is and how that can influence your future. Trying to do everything alone. I was guilty of this as well. I came from that generation,

the X generation of it's meant to be, it's up to me. And I would also just be, well, I'll just do it myself. And it's very, very difficult, especially if you're a perfectionist or you're a near perfectionist, because you're like, no, no one's going to do it at the standard I'm going to do it. So I'll just do it myself. and i've had to learn how to outsource certain work and be okay with it um you know something i also used to do cinder was you know when i was uh doing a powerpoint presentation was change it 25 times and and it was just wasn't necessary you know what i mean like the and a b a B plus is still sometimes good enough. Yeah.

Done is better than perfect. That's what I think to myself. Exactly. Yeah. Holding on to the past, worrying about things in the future that haven't even come. And of course, as we spoke about negative self-talk, I think that number 10 is a big one. If you can let go of that self-defeating talk.

And I really believe that's where it starts. Your self-belief, your confidence, your happiness is what you're saying to yourself. Yeah. Well, I think this list of 10 is really powerful. And many of these things, you're right, are things we do naturally, like judging others, comparing ourselves to others, the negative self-talk can be just really natural to being human. What is your process been to let these things go? Because it can be really, really difficult. Yeah. Again, easier said than done. And I struggle with a lot of these things as well, like anybody else. And again, getting back to the reason of writing the book, it's also to help me, the author, to process these thoughts and have these kind of conversations with you, for example, of what do you do when you don't get on with somebody, you just don't like them,

how do you confront that? Because you don't want that to use up your energy. You don't like them how do you confront that how do you because you don't want that to use up your energy you don't want them to be living rent free in your in your mind for example um so uh yeah i i think it's i think it's so important that we and you talk about this in your book beyond grit uh your self-awareness of being aware of these being aware of what you're saying to yourself being aware of what you're thinking about certain things and trying to change to the positive. Yeah, that's actually what I wrote down in my notes right before you said it, that I think it takes awareness to notice yourself engaging in these habits, which sometimes they're just habits. And first of all, self-awareness, noticing, and then a choice to choose a different focus. But I also think these are things that we're constantly practicing. For me, at least, it's hard to never be negative.

It's hard to never judge or never compare myself. And so I think this list is like a work in progress every day for people and me too yeah no absolutely so a question I want to have for you is that do you do you journal do you write down things like every day uh I don't every day um I don't but I do I do when I feel stuck and um I love this exercise that I read in a book called No Ego. Her name, the author's name is Cy Wakeman, who I had on the podcast. And Cy talks about when we're really stuck, we write down everything that's stressing us out.

And then we underline what's actually true. And then we write, rewrite actually what we know to be 100% true. And so when I feel really stuck or overwhelmed or kind of in my own way, that's what I do. And then what's pretty fascinating is, you know, I might write like a whole page, but you know, there's only like one statement in there that's 100% true. So I've learned to realize that I am, you know, that most of like what's stressing me is just my own story instead of actually the real facts. So it's a really powerful exercise. Yeah, I'm definitely going to have to listen to that episode. Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, last question here before we close up. You talk about three steps to achievement. What it is that I want? What do I need to do to achieve this? And why does this matter so much to me? Why are these particular questions important for us? I think it relates back to the very first question I think you asked on the podcast is, what do I see the best of the best doing?

First of all, they're clear of what they want. We can't help anybody if we don't know what they want, first of all. But having a clear vision and having clarity on what you want is key, number one. The second one is what do I need to do to achieve this? So that's more of the how. What resources do I need? What kind of tools do I need? What people do I need to do to achieve this? So that's more of the how. What resources do I need? What kind of tools do I need? What people do I need?

What facilities do I need? What do I need to learn more? All those questions in terms of what tools and what people you need in order to achieve this. And you're talking earlier on about me trying to do everything by myself which i learned after a while this was this isn't working you need good people that are better than you and i think steve jobs spoke about it why should i hire people that are smarter than me

um or i should hire excuse me i should hire people that are smarter than me otherwise what's the point um and then the last one goes along the lines of your motivation. You're not always going to feel motivated. So in the beginning, something might be exciting that you're working towards like a marathon, for example, and we know how tough the training can get in there as well. But there needs to be that purpose and that reason why. Why does this matter so much to me? Because once motivation fades off, your purpose and your greater reason why. So an example is, let's just say you're raising money for a charity and running a marathon. That's a really good, strong purpose of why you need to

get out training this morning, even though you prefer to stay in a nice warm bed. And I remember actually running a marathon in Minneapolis in February and it was, I think it was nine degrees. Was that Minneapolis or Annapolis? Where was it? In Minnesota? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not surprised. Yeah. And you're going to have a good purpose of why you're doing that because it was absolutely freezing. Even just breathing, my throat was sore. And funny enough, one week later, that was the time I did seven marathons in seven weeks. Wow. The following week I ran in West Palm Beach was like 98 degrees. And I talk about like a jump in temperature. But yeah, your long-term motivation comes down to your greater reason why and your purpose. Yeah. Wow.

You have been so much fun to talk to. So I really appreciate your energy and also the content that you've provided today. And we talked about so many really powerful things for people. The last was the three steps to achievement. We talked about the 90 slash 9% rule, seven types of people you should surround yourself with, how to become your own story. So I'm going to encourage everyone to grab your book, Mindset is Your Superpower. So where can we find out more about your work, order your books? Tell us how we can follow along with your work. Yeah, again, thank you very much for having me. I've really enjoyed this conversation as well, and you're like-minded.

So no, it's been great. Yeah, easy on social media, Twitter, my name at Alistair McCall, or on Instagram, Be Champion Minded. And then all the books are available on Amazon. So it's that simple. That simple, pretty easy. Well, what final advice would you give to everyone, Alistair? um i know it might sound quite cliche but really just that's uh that self-belief is important is believing in yourself knowing that you are enough knowing that you are capable if you're willing to you know build the right habits have a good attitude show up every day even if you don't feel like it trust me um i don't feel like writing a book, writing pages every single day, but I show up and I'll do it. And that would be the best advice I'd give is, you know, today's your most important day. What's happened in the past is the past. You can't bring it back. But today is your

most important day. Love it. Today is the most important day. What a great way to end. Thank you so much for being on. We loved having you. And thanks so much for your wisdom and your experience. Thank you. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else?

If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.