High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 622: Overcome Your Fear and Soar Like a Top-Gun Pilot with Martha McSally, Keynote Speaker, Former Congressman & 1St American Woman to Command a Fighter Squadron in Combat

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Flying an airplane is a challenging activity, even in clear skies and perfect weather… Now imagine you are flying a plane in combat. The enemy on the ground is trying to kill you by shooting down your plane. All while you are trying to save the lives of YOUR TEAM on the ground who are under attack. That's exactly what Martha McSally did as an A-10 fighter pilot in the Air Force.  Martha's life has been spent overcoming things like fear, self-doubt, trauma, adversity, and obstacles.  After arriving at the U.S. Air Force Academy for basic training at 18, she was told that it was against the law for women to become fighter pilots.  So what did she do? She decided that’s exactly what she would do and became the first woman in U.S. history to fly a fighter jet in combat!  Plus, she later became the 1st woman in U.S. history to command a fighter squadron….which meant, in combat, she was the first one in and the last one out! She deployed 6 times to the Middle East and Afghanistan, flying 325 combat hours, earning the bronze star and six air metals.  After serving our country for 26 years in the Air Force and retiring as a full Colonel, Martha was elected to Congress. She served 2 terms in the U.S. House of Representative and was appointed to the U.S. Senate after Senator John McCain’s passing. As you can imagine, she has had a front row seat, and been an active participant, in shaping the world we live in… always in service to others. Now, Martha continues to serve by sharing her hard-learned life and leadership lessons through keynote speaking, online courses, and beyond.  In this episode, Martha and Cindra talk about the: The ways fear holds you back from your dreams  How you can “Drop the Drag” How to intentionally shape your identity And, she openly shares how she has worked through trauma in her own life to help us understand how we can work through ours.   HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE  LEARN MORE ABOUT THE YOU 3.0 RETREAT MARTHA IS HOSTING MARTHA’S WEEKLY COACHING ON FACEBOOK FOLLOW SIGN UP FOR THE FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH CINDRA’S TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show to help us reach more and more people. We appreciate you!    

Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. I'm Cyndra Kampoff, the founder of the Mentally Strong Institute, where we help leaders, entrepreneurs, and athletes play big and achieve their most audacious goals. If you want to achieve your goal quicker, up-level your confidence, and increase your influence, I invite you to sign up for a free coaching call with one of my team members at freementalbreakthroughcall.com.

We will help you create a breakthrough, a moment of more clarity and understanding to help you practice the high-performance mindset. That's freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call. Today on this episode, I have an incredible opportunity to interview Martha McSally. Flying an airplane is a challenging activity, even in clear skies and perfect weather. Now imagine you are flying a plane in combat. The enemy on the ground is trying to kill you by shooting down your plane, all while you're trying to save the lives of your team on the ground who are under attack.

That's exactly what Martha McSally did as an A-10 fighter pilot in the Air Force. Martha's life has been spent overcoming things like fear, self-doubt, trauma, adversity, and obstacles. After arriving at the U.S. Air Force Academy for basic training at 18, she was told that it was against the law for women to become fighter pilots. So what did she do? She decided that's exactly what she would do and became the first woman in U.S. history to fly a fighter jet in combat. Plus, she later became the first woman in U.S. history to command a fighter squadron, which meant in combat she was the first one in and the last one out.

She deployed six times to the Middle East and Afghanistan, flying 325 combat hours, earning the Bronze Star and six Air Medals. After serving our country for 26 years in the Air Force and retiring as a full colonel, Martha was elected to Congress. She served two terms in the U.S. House of Representatives and was appointed to the U.S. Senate after Senator John McCain's passing. As you could imagine, she has had a front row seat and been an active participant in shaping the world we live in, always in service to others. Now Martha continues to serve by sharing her hard-earned and learned life and leadership lessons through keynote speaking, online courses, and beyond. And in this episode, I know you're going to be blown away. Martha and I talk about the ways fear holds us back from our dreams,

how you can drop the drag, how to intentionally shape your identity, what she believed when no woman were allowed to fly in the Air Force and what she did instead. And she openly shares how she's worked through her own trauma in her life to help us understand how we can work through ours. And make sure to listen to the end as she provides you, as a listener of the High Performance Mindset, a very special opportunity that she's hosting this summer for free. In this episode, we focus on trauma and discuss sexual assault.

So this might be triggering for you, and I just want you to keep that in mind as we proceed. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset. Let's bring on Martha McSally. Martha McSally, I'm so excited to have you today on the podcast. I heard your keynote about six months ago and I was blown away. And listen, I'm a keynote speaker and I listen to a lot of keynote speakers. And I left there thinking, oh my gosh, this is one of the best keynote speeches I've ever heard. So that's huge. And I'm huge. I'm like, I'm speechless. Oh, thank you. That means so much to me. And I've gone to lots of National Speakers Association

events and heard like some of the best speakers. Right. And so I have here today your book, Dare to Fly. So I want to talk to you about that. And I found my notes of your talk. And I have some things highlighted here that I want to dive into. Oh, cool. So thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to have the listeners share what they learned from you today. And let's just dive in. And I want to start by talking about identity,

because this is something that you talked about in your keynote in December. And let's just talk about like, why is our identity so important? And can you talk to the listeners? Why should they shape their identity? Sure. Well, I'm honored to have this conversation. And I learned a lot of these lessons the hard way. So my hope is that the listeners would hear authentically from the mistakes I've made. I've realized what doesn't work, right? And my passion is to really share those lessons to impact lives. So you can fast forward and not have to do things the hard way often like I did. And I came to this.

I mean, I prepared that speech. It really came as a download to me like 72 hours prior that I just needed to do something totally different. And I just went with it. And it ended up, man, it just, it just felt amazing. And thanks for sharing the feedback on that. It related to when somebody asks you this question, who are you? How do you answer that? And, you know, right away, especially in Western cultures, we go to, well, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a, you know, former fighter pilot. I'm a colonel. Like we attach our identity to what we do, usually first and foremost. And by the way, if you are someone who's raising a family and pouring yourself into that, then you start to feel like, oh, my identity is not as important because I can't attach it to a job title. But this is what we do. Again, let's have compassion on ourselves.

This is what the culture is. We tend to attach our identity to what we do, our job, our role, our titles. And then we maybe go a little deeper. Well, maybe I'm not, you know, just an accountant or an entrepreneur or a, you know, marketer. I'm a wife, a mother, a husband, a father. There's other roles that we are in in life where we answer that. But the reality is if we really were to sit with ourselves, those roles change. Like you didn't come out of your mother's womb as a fighter pilot or as an entrepreneur. So that can't be the true answer to your identity of who you are. That's something that you did. You were not always a mom or not always a wife. And then what happens when we attach our identity to these things that are external and they're things that we do and they're important things we do. What then happens is when that season ends for one reason or another by our choice or not, then we lose our footing. We don't feel like we even know what our

identity is. So you leave the military. How many stories have you seen of veterans leave the military or law enforcement now they don't have the uniform and they can't find themselves because their identity was attached to that. And if you're listening and you're one of those people, we all have been through, I've been through this, or you sell your business or you, you know, you get laid off or you go through a divorce or you're empty nesting. Now the kids are out of the house what's your identity now and so this is really a testament to my own journey of of being in different roles of shedding those roles of taking on new roles and I found that one of my actual superpowers in life is reinventing myself to be like okay thus ends this chapter what's next and I found that I do that fairly easily, whereas others struggle with that.

I mean, I was like yelling at the TV and then decided to, you know, run for office. Next thing you know, I'm a United States senator. It's a crazy long story about how that all happened. And then that chapter ended. And literally, I've not been back to D.C., unlike many other people, because it's like, well, that chapter's over. And the day that I realized that I was not going to win that election, which came with a lot of grief, I was feeling disappointment in the moment, a lot of grief, a lot of like, oh my God, I poured myself into serving and we're coming up short again. I was literally in the middle of the grief. I pulled out a piece of paper and I

wrote on the top of it, the bright side. And I started writing all the possible positive things about shifting into a next chapter in the middle of the grief. I did that. That's so cool. Yeah. And so what I realized and what I did in that keynote is I literally, I started in my flight suit just to give it away to everybody. I started my flight suit. I brought everybody into the cockpit of the A-10. I shared combat stories. I've talked about issues of courage and fear. But then it's like, this is not who I am. It's not my identity. I serve, those who I speak to, those who I coach, is when we feel that next layer is like, now what am I? Then we want to naturally grasp onto a new role, a new title, a new external thing, and then we can sometimes get lost in our thoughts and our feelings, and so we either feel completely empty or you may feel you then attach to negative feelings that you've had in your life or negative patterns that you've had in your life because

you're not now fully attached to some external identity. Then you go inward and it doesn't feel good. And so you then say, instead of like, I feel sad or I feel afraid, you actually say, I am afraid, I am sad, and you attach your identity, I am not enough. You attach your identity to these negative themes, and sometimes people get stuck and they can't get out of that phase, you know, where it's they try to numb the pain or find some addiction is something that's going to help them because their identity is their feelings. And there's a difference between what I feel and what I am and so I peeled another layer off and I had some negative feelings that I that had emerged in some recent inner work that I had done so it's pretty raw for me to share I feel scared I feel abandoned I mean I feel alone these were my words

like these were made up words these were my words for how I was feeling as I was peeling back the onion on some of my stuff from the past that was emerging in my own journey. But we are not what we feel. And so getting to that deeper level of understanding the divine essence of who you truly are, of the entity that you are that's having a temporary physical experience, but is the one who feels those feelings, is the one who is having those experiences, and who transcends all of that to include this physical body. I'm not trying to get too spiritual here, but the reality is this is all a part of, I think, each person's spiritual journey is to quiet the knowledge down and ask yourself, who am I? Like, what are the attributes of who I truly am that is uniquely you, that is uniquely

made? There'll never be one like you before or again. Like, you know, a snowflake is an analogy here, but it's not even captures the the essence of the uniqueness of who you are. And words don't capture it either. But words can, you know what words would you hope that people would say about you that capture you to the best of the way words can capture the essence of you and so that was my last layer and you know for me I am courageous I am integrity I am growing I am generous I relentless, although I put a swear word in front of that, but I'll keep it clean for your audience. Yeah. My encouragement is that everybody

take time to go through some sort of process like that to really it doesn't mean you got to sit for 25 hours meditating because I suck at that. But I'm saying quiet the noise down, whether it means go on a walk, go on an adventure retreat. We'll talk about it later. Go through, like, turn the noise level down. Get some clarity on what you're not. Because it's important to understand what you're not. You're not your roles. You're not your title. You're not your bank account. You're not your failures. You're not your roles in relationship. You know, again, you're not the number that you've earned, right? That's not you. That's something you've done.

That's an abundance you've attracted, but it's not who you are. And there is a book called The Regrets of, I think it's called something like The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Yes, I've read that book. Nice. It's powerful. And the bottom line is like, why don't we learn from that? Right. If today we take our last breath, who'd happen? I mean, my dad died at 49.

He was there one day, he was gone the next. We all have people in our lives who suddenly something tragic happens to. And again, I don't mean to be morbid, but I need to be like, let's hold life with an open hand. If I took my last breath today or 50 years from now, would I have any regrets? And usually the top five regrets of the dying, we should learn from them. These are people in hospice. And this was from a palliative care nurse was I didn't truly live the life. I'm paraphrasing here as myself. I didn't express myself as my authentic self. I didn't express how I felt. I didn't follow my dreams. It was not, I wish I worked more. In fact, a regret was I worked too much. And I, you know, wish I spent more time in the office. I wish I had more stuff, you know, like it doesn't come with you. And so like, let's learn from that and have it impact our present. And I've learned

this the hard way by shedding the, well, that's not what I am. Well, that didn't bring me satisfaction. That didn't bring me happiness. Well, what about this? That didn't either. That didn't either. So as I've peeled it back by living a life with lots of experiences, I've realized none of that is what I am. What I am transcends all that. I've had these experiences and I want to encourage everybody who hears my voice to do the same. Thank you, Martha. Oh, there's so many things that I could follow up on relating to that. But I think if I could summarize it, it's like you're not your role, you're not your failures, you're not your bank account, and you can intentionally create your identity. And

one of the things you had us do while you're talking is, and I have my little sheet here where you had us write out, you know, you had like 12 spaces or so that we could use actually nine, no 12, 12. And you said, what is your identity? How do people describe you at your funeral? And then you, you must've had us kind of highlight, or at least I highlighted the main one. I wrote things like driven and kind and inspiring and courageous and smart and a difference maker. But then the one that I thought was the biggest one for me was a dreamer. And I love to dream and encourage other people to dream. And so how would you recommend people do something similar to really be intentional about their identity, particularly going through transition? And that's what I want to ask you

next is how did you really reshape this identity in these different various roles you've been in? Yeah, I would encourage everybody, you don't need the worksheet that Sandra has from my speech. You can literally take a blank sheet of paper, spend a little bit of time reflecting, get along, get quiet, put your phone on airplane mode, put it in the other room. And just with pen to paper, don't use it on a laptop because there's something neurologically about you writing. Just start writing like, what are the words that would describe me? And they don't have to all be adjectives like integrity is one of my words integris didn't quite just write nouns verbs adverb doesn't matter right like adjectives like just what would describe me and what that captures who i really am if you know

again people who really know what's inside me and what these amazing attributes are that are uniquely mine write down as many as possible, like just brainstorm, keep writing. Sometimes, you know, we prime the pop and the first few that come out are not the top ones. You just keep going. You're like, no, there's a better word for that. Oh, it's this. And so you just, you know, don't get your monkey brain too much involved. Try and allow kind of the creative to flow. So make sure you're in a space beforehand, you know, go for a walk or do some breath work or something where you're just like you can center yourself, whatever practice you may have to do that, even just taking a few deep breaths, kind of center yourself, and then just write, write,

write, write, write, write. I would then encourage you to reach out to a handful of people who know you really well. And people who are expansive for you, sometimes, you know, the people who are the closest to us are not going to give us the best answers. I know that people, so people understand that, right? Because, you know, again, depending on what kind of, you know, frequency they're on, they could be like, you know, lower end things about you or more kind of descriptive 3D stuff instead of like the highest, best version of yourself. So really think about who you choose and say, what words would you use? What top five words would you use if you were giving my eulogy, if you were trying to capture in the English

language, what words would describe me? Which ones would you use? And bring those in. I found that my final top five that I landed on for now, I mean, I'm going to be refreshing this over time because there's a time where something else may land on me like, ah, that's actually better. And I have them. I'm not at my primary home right now, but I usually I have my butcher paper on my wall in my kitchen. It just kind of reminds me every day what my I ams are. And, you know, and some of mine came from my closest friends, like the relentless one actually came from my closest friends. And I was like, of course, I mean, that was like, that's for sure. So I would encourage you to do that. And then keep like, refresh it, put it on butcher paper,

you know, if your family will tolerate it, put it on sticky notes on your mirror, when you get those top five, there's things that you can do to be reminded of them every single day. And then these are great tools once you've gone through that. And we don't have time to kind of go through all the coaching on this, but these are great tools for you to take some more time later on. How does my calendar line up with these? How does my bank account line up with these? How do my relationships line up with these? And it can help you get a better sense of like what's lined up with who you truly are and what's not in your life. We all have things in our lives that we've said yes to or that we're tolerating or we're

behaving in a way that is just we know is incongruent. But sometimes it's helpful to just kind of put up a mirror and be like, OK, this relationship definitely is not aligned with the divine essence of who I am. And you can get greater clarity on like, okay, how do I lovingly retire this person from this role in my life that I've, you know, I've had them in as an example, or as new decisions come up, new opportunities come up, you look at them and get a sense of like, how does this align with the essence of who I truly am? It makes it easier to make decisions when you have that kind of centering of like,

nope, that sounds like a shiny new object or a really good idea or might be related to a scarcity mindset or something that I'm afraid of or something I'm chasing or living somebody else's life, but that's not me. So I can gracefully say no

and move on and stay aligned. So those are just a couple tools. Thank you. Thanks for suggesting that. And I think I know people will do it, right, as they're listening. And I'm curious about your own identity, right? And you were just saying that, you know, when you weren't elected to Senate, right away you were thinking about the bright side

and you were thinking about what's next right after that. And I think about all the different various sort of badass roles you've been in. That's what I'm going to say. You know, being in the Air Force and being a fighter pilot and then a U.S. senator. Tell us about you mentioned to me that this is now Martha 3.0. I don't know. I don't know if that's what you'd still say, but tell us about how your identity has changed. Yeah. And then what did you learn from how your identity changed and that we, you know, we can use in our own lives? Yeah. So I have been using Martha 3.0 to describe the season that I've been in for the last few

years. Truly, if I think about it, I'm probably more like in Martha 4.5 ish or so, right? Because when I created the 3.0, I wasn't even counting the first 18 years of life, which are very formative for all of us. I was counting sort of my adult life. 1.0 was 26 years in the Air Force flying fighter jets. 2.0 was nine years of political combat and serving people in a different place I deployed that's quite dysfunctional in Washington, D.C. And 3.0

is the phase. And then after that, where I'm it's about taking all these lessons that I've learned and impacting people through my books, through speaking, through coaching, through retreats to help them on their journey. And there's there's there's other elements in there, like even between when I think about it, when I left the military, I was actually a professor for a year and a half at a place called the Marshall Center over in the German Alps. And so what is that? Was that like, you know, 1.5 or whatever?

But the point is, I have found that even when I didn't understand the deeper lessons that I've learned, because I'm in a growth mindset. So I subscribe to the quote. I can't remember who said it, but it's somebody else that said, if you're not embarrassed by who you were a year ago, you're not growing at all. And I live like that. So I look back, yeah, I'm embarrassed by who I was last year or even 20 years ago. But I had some tools inside me that were innate that I didn't totally understand.

And now I could label them and, you know, explain them better where when it went, even when I left the military, I had not yet, I was a colonel. I had not yet been looked at for general. I had been promoted four years ahead of my peers. So, you know, I was 44 years old and retiring as a colonel. And people were looking at me like, what are you doing? Like, you know, you haven't even been looked at for general. And I said, sometimes you have to have clarity on what you're no longer going to do before you have clarity on what you're going to do. And that's just wasn't normal, especially for people in the military. Oftentimes it was like, wait until they're done with you or you don't get promoted.

And as brave as our soldiers and airmen and marines are and do incredible things in our military, oftentimes there can be a fear of leaving because it's kind of a known entity of a known community, a known identity, a known paycheck and, you know, healthcare for you and your family. And so that stepping out into the unknown could be very scary for anyone if they're leaving any sort of job or career. And I just felt like, and they often wait for some other job offer to step away or when clearly you're being pushed out. And I just operated differently. I was like, I centered myself. I wouldn't even use those terms at the time. It's just like, well, I'm just no longer going to do this. I'm grateful

for this incredible season that I've had in my life, but I'm stepping away now. And I didn't have clarity on what I was stepping into, which was scary. It really was scary. So I don't want to undermine the fear that comes with that. I felt afraid doing that, like financially, like how's it all going to work? And what am I going to do next?

But I often, there's an Indiana Jones movie, I can't remember which one, where he has to step out in order for the next step to appear. So he has to step out in the fear and then the next step appears. And I often, I talk about, I have a chapter of my book on this. You have to choose to do things afraid. Courage is not the absence of fear.

It's the courage to do things afraid in the midst of the fear dan sullivan is an entrepreneurial coach and he talks about this drill sergeant when he was going through training who said uh courage is doing what you need to do with wet pants you know fear is having wet pants courage is doing what you need to do with wet pants. So I stepped out from the known to the unknown with, it didn't wet my pants, but I felt afraid about what was going to come next. I really had no understanding of what that was, but I knew what it wasn't. And so I stepped out not really knowing what the future financial situation was going to be or purpose or calling. I literally rented a chalet in the Swiss Alps for 60 days because I was so exhausted from your listeners are high performing people, right?

Absolutely. We can keep going and going and going even when our body is telling us like you're exhausted. And it isn't until you actually slow down that you realize how exhausted you were. And so I but I knew I had this space. I had some vacation time that was accumulated. And I just went. I was like, I'm going to get away in the mountains.

For me, getting out of nature is a place to just get clarity and get rest. And I didn't realize how tired I was until I got there. And what emerged in that space was this opportunity to go be a professor of National Security Studies at the Marshall Center in the German Alps, where I was like still, you know, I was pouring in with purpose from my experiences. I was paragliding at lunch. You know, I was I was I was able to, I mean, much less intensive schedule. And then as a colonel, I was able to kind of rebalance my nervous system. I wouldn't have called it that at the time. But I didn't see that opportunity and it didn't present itself until I walked away from the other. So I would encourage you, if you are in transition, whether you chose it or you didn't, whether you are dissatisfied with what you're

doing and you want transition or you're kind of being pushed into transition, fear is normal, okay? So don't beat yourself up for being afraid, for feeling afraid. It's okay to feel afraid. It protects us. It's part of our kind of evolution, our amygdala is looking for things that are changing and checking to see if there's saber-toothed tigers out there. So fear is understandable, but usually whenever we're afraid of something And it's so fear is understandable. But usually the whenever we're afraid of something, it's the very thing we need to step into, right? It's the very thing we need to do. So, so make the decision with wet hands to do things afraid, right? And you but you've got to create the space for clarity, whatever that means for you, whatever that means for you, whether it's, you know, whatever practices you may have or not have, go get a massage every day. You know,

Joe Polish, our friend says, get a massage every day for 30 days. Go for, you know, get out in nature, go separate yourself somehow to like turn the noise level down, get yourself some rest so that you can gain some clarity as to what your next act is, who you really are, and take some inspired action to move towards that. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have the whole battle plan, the whole, you know, business plan figured out. You've just got to center on what your future self might look like, what the vision of that might be. And then you've got to take the plane off towards the destination. Just get going. You know, you can't fly if you're taxiing around on the ground. You've got to take off. Now, if I take off from Arizona, I got to have some direction.

I'm, you know, I'm either going towards New York or California. Now, I can turn around if I get some inspired action somewhere in the middle, but you got to take off in order to make course corrections. So I just encourage anybody in transition, it's okay to be afraid. Do things afraid. Create a space for yourself, whatever that works for you, to connect to who you really are and take some inspired action and move towards your future self. It's going to be amazing. Thank you, Martha. I'm ready.

Hi, this is Cyndra Campoff, and thanks for listening to the High Performance Mindset. Thank you, Martha. I'm ready. BreakthroughCall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call with one of our certified coaches. Again, that's FreeMentalBreakthroughCall.com to sign up for your free call. Talk to you soon. I'm inspired listening to you. And I appreciate what you said is that you have to step out into the fear to know what the next steps are. And I know you've talked about how fear is the number one thing that holds us back. And you have this tool called Drop the Drag. How does that fit in here? And how can we, because you know, I'm listening to you. I'm like, yeah, there are some things that I'm scared of, but those are on my heart because I know that I have to step into them. And they keep on coming up for me because I know that's my calling. right? And so we all experience fear. And I love the acronym for fear, false evidence appearing real.

You know, it's not my acronym, but it's true. It's like just appearing real. Tell us a bit about your drop to drag exercise and how we might use it to move past our fear. Awesome. Thanks, Anjo. So if you think about it, all we have is the present, right? It's truly all we have is here. All we have is now. All you have is you. That's the reality. Everything we experience happens in the present. But where we trip

ourselves up is we're either haven't unpacked some things we've been through in the past, whether that's Deborah Mate is a expert on trauma and addiction. He calls big T trauma or little t trauma, things we've been through in our life, either extreme, and I've shared, you know, I lost my dad at 12. I was then abused by my track coach. I have survived sexual assault, like I've got my own and it's not as big as a lot of other people have had, but I've got my own big T and little t. And oftentimes we like and I did this, you know, we squish it down like, you know, we just try to, you know, like it didn't really happen or I'm going to disconnect from the wounds or the feelings related to it. And it's just easier to keep it in the dark. And so there's stuff from the past that's holding us back. If we're truly be honest with ourselves, when we're head hits the pillow at night, we're in the shower, like we know there's things that emerge that are of the past. And then if you think about it, fear is future facing, right?

So like regret or anger or unforgiveness or, or bitterness, or shame. Like, that's all past-facing. That's, like, stuff that I experienced that I haven't fully healed from. And then fear is future-facing. Like, oh, no, it's going to all do. We're going to lose everything. Like, I'm going to die alone. Like, all the things that happen.

So they're all future-facing. Now, look, I'm not a psychologist, but I've got my phd and these experiences in life and i'm an open book you know and i got the light shining on all this my experience and those who i help and coach is that oftentimes the fears are attached to something in the past possibly sometimes the fears are just, it's the very thing you need to do. It's just the very thing you need to do. And I just got to go do it because the fear is actually on the flip side of the coin of fear is exhilaration. And it's the very thing I need to do because it's going to make me feel alive. And my amygdala is just trying to pretend that it's dangerous because it doesn't like change. Sometimes that's what's happening. Sometimes,. Many times our fear is associated

with something we experienced or witnessed in the past that we still haven't fully healed from. So if we've seen our parents or others in our lives who went through challenging financial or relational things or we've experienced those ourselves, we often our fears are associated. We may be in abundance, but we're living in a scarcity fear because of experiences we've seen or witnessed. It's like you feel like, no, I'm just really a fraud. It's all going to fall apart. And then like you're in that scarcity mindset, the fear is often attached to something in the past. So when you're flying an airplane, you want to be aerodynamically slick. And anything that slows us down and takes up fuel is called drag. OK, so if I'm flying around and I've got my gear down and my speed breaks out, here's my analogy of like my gear down here.

I don't have an airplane model with me. But, you know, if I've got, you know, it's turbulent and it actually when you're in the winds, you know, the wind stream, it's taking up fuel and it's slowing you down. So that's called drag. And so my encouragement to you who are listening, if any of this resonated with you, if you again could just sit with yourself, is there anyone that I need to forgive? Is there anyone who I should ask for forgiveness? Do I feel regrets? Do I feel anger towards myself or someone else? Oftentimes we're worse on ourselves than others, right? It's like self-flagellation, shame of something that I did or suffering from something that I went through that someone else did to me. Have compassion on

yourself, first of all, but turning the light on. Oftentimes you're just like, no, nothing happened back there and I just don't want to even ever think about it. I want to talk about it. There's a quote, feelings that are buried or buried alive. Not my quote. I read it in a book. I can't remember what it was. The reality is those wounds are still there. They're impacting your patterns and your triggers in the present. If you would be honest with yourself, like what triggers you most easily is usually attached to a pattern. It's never about the thing if you're getting in a fight with your spouse about something it's never about the thing right it's always about something deeper like they're tapping a nerve of i'm not enough when they look to be that way but

it's not about that it's about something where you really felt like you were not enough when you were younger and that stuck with you and you had to heal from it. And, you know, look, this is a journey that everybody needs to be on. That's like all of us peeling back the onion. Every time I think I'm finished unpacking my stuff, I go a deeper level. But the commitment of turning the light on, just turn a flashlight on it, turn the light switch on. Things that are in the dark can fester and grow and and and are turning the light on is the first step to healing things, you know, just cannot fester like that. And so that first step of even awareness and acknowledgement of like, yeah, I've got some stuff to unpack. If you're in a dark room, you know what? I went through something awful like Mark or worse when I was younger. I've been running away from it and I've been keeping the noise level up, but I've been trying to perform and produce in order to cover it up for so long.

And I'm really tired. I'm going to try and figure out how to drop this drag. So it's no longer holding me back. Whatever that journey is, there's different journeys people could take. It may be something as simple as like, I need to forgive somebody. And forgiveness is not about letting them off the hook. Okay, forgiveness is about you. It's, you know, another quote, bitterness is the poison pill you swallow expecting the other person to die. So unforgiveness is about it rotting inside you. And I mean, I went through this journey with those who, again, abused me and assaulted me. Not an easy, not an easy thing. But I realized, yeah, it's not letting them off the hook.

It's not reconciliation. But I'm like, they're thinking about me right now. Why am I letting what they did to me rot inside me? And, you know, this is more than a cerebral exercise. Like, forgive me. This is a hard level, spirit level exercise to truly, and sometimes you might have to do it over and over and over again, but be committed to like, I'm freeing myself from this bitterness.

I'm freeing myself from this anger. I'm freeing myself from this regret. And there's many ways to do it. You know, people can take therapy. They can work with different experts. Some of them are in Genius Network. There's different modalities to help even with your neuropathways rewiring to get out of that loop that you're in. So take the journey that works for you, but be committed to

the journey. And first step is turn on the light, drop the drag, stop the things that are slowing you down and holding you back and taking up fuel so that you can truly soar in your life. It's never too late. Do it now. Excellent, Martha. One of the things I wrote down when I heard you speak in December is exactly what you're saying. I wrote down all progress starts with telling the truth. And I think that's what you're really having people, encouraging people to do is look at the light.

Turn it on. Yeah. And you know what? That's a Dan Sullivan quote by by well, so I'm always attributing to others. So that that's a Dan Sullivan quote, all progress starts by telling the truth. But yeah, turn the light on, you've got to start with what is in order to get to where you want to be. If all we're doing is like, no, this is where I want to be. But we're not being honest about what is and where we are. So the first step is awareness of yourself, awareness of the situation you're in, awareness of the things that are holding you back. And that can be really scary.

I get it. I'm not taking that lightly. Trust me, I have been in the abyss of darkness as I've gone through this journey. Don't go through it alone. But I'm in my own journey, but man, there's nothing more freeing than peeling back those layers and becoming more and more free from the negative things that you've been through and the fears that are holding you back. Well, and I think about all the things you overcome, right? And I want to ask you about a few of those things, because when people hear about it, when I heard about it,

when you told us about it, right, like, wow, well, if I can get, if Martha got through that, I can get through this. And here's just a few examples. You've already said, you know, your, your father died when you were younger. You were a sexual assault, sexually assaulted in high school by a coach. And even recently, you were attacked in Iowa when you were running this happened in November. And you're out running before you gave a speech, and then you were attacked, right? And it was so empowering to hear how you fought back. And especially as a woman who runs every day day and literally this weekend, I was running and my parents live in Omaha and I was running near where you were and I was on the trail and I

didn't even think twice. Right. And so, um, so many questions I could ask you about that. Well, first, maybe let's talk about the attack in November. How did you instantly decide to, you know, fight back and not just let the attacker, you know, just get the best of you? Well, that was a very crazy situation, as you would describe. I mean, I was literally just out running. I was ironically lightly listening to the book Untethered Soul which is this beautiful spiritual book I mean so I was just in this beautiful place again I wasn't completely distracted but I was in a beautiful place in a very safe place in the middle of the day at 11 a.m 11 a.m and we now know we didn't know this

at the time that I was crossing the bridge from Nebraska to Iowa, and that the man who attacked me passed me on the bridge, turned around, they now see this on camera after the fact, pulled a stalking cap out of his pocket, put it on, and then started following me, not directly behind me. I went down towards the river on the path, he kind of parallel stalked me until he felt like it was it was about a mile and then he jumped me from behind and I mean it was I don't know how to just I mean it was shy he jumped me from behind he literally was fondling and sexually assaulted me grabbing me every part of my body and I just I didn't make a decision. I mean, I just in the moment, and this didn't, this came from all the work I did between when I was first abused by a coach until now. My reaction, which you're fight, flight or freeze, but my reaction, which wasn't a decision was like, I mean, I'm not going to start. Can I swear on your podcast?

Sure, go ahead. If you're listening with kids, turn it off. Okay, I won't swear. I won't swear. I was like, you, I just like, literally my reaction was like, and it's not funny, but I was like, not, this is not effing happening today. Like, it is not happening to me today. And it is, and you are not getting away with this. Like, those are the things that happen in my soul was like this is not happening to me today and you are not getting away with this. And so that caused me to respond by fighting him off. And then when I was able to fight him off and get free from him, he started running.

Talk about like a jujitsu move where I took the attacker's energy and my fear. I was afraid, to be clear. I was petrified in this moment, but somehow I was able to turn the energy into like, he's now afraid of me. And I would not advise this. Again, this was just a reaction. I was so like, you are not getting away with this. I started chasing him. And I, again, I would not advise this. I am not necessarily, you know, people, Oh, you're a bad-ass, but like I was safe and I sort of disengaged, but instead I was so focused on you or you're going to get caught. Like you're not going to hurt anybody else that I started chasing him while I was on the phone with 911. Right. So I'm like, my mindset was not, I'm going to catch you. My mindset was, I'm going to catch you. My mindset was I'm going to keep you in my sight until they come and get you because

we can't have this happen. I mean, that sounds so logical. It wasn't at the time, but it was just like I was just so committed to not letting him get away with it. So they did catch him. And, you know, he's being we're going through the judicial process now to be held accountable i was in a you know obvious like sympathetic state i now understand more about this my nervous system was high alert i was literally in a fight for peace i was just like and i i mean i made once

i talked to the police and i got back to my hotel safely i was speaking that night and then speaking the next day on how to live and lead with a brave heart, like literally how to live with courage and with heart. And I got back to my hotel and I just took out my phone and I just wanted to capture what happened and just kind of be able to, I don't know, it was a video diary. And after I made the first little video, I was like, you know, I don't know, it was a video diary. And after I made the first little video, I was like, you know, I'm trying to help people not live in fear. I'm just going to post this on social media and share. I was attacked this morning. I was sexually assaulted.

I'm safe. I was in a heightened adrenaline state still. But I said, look, I'm committed to showing you real time. I am committed to not having this trauma stuck in me. And I don't even know what this journey is going to be, but I'm going to do it publicly. And I just declared it to the world. I wasn't even a fully consciously thought out decision because I was still at this adrenaline state. And I decided to go give my speech that night. And I decided to give my speech the next night. Now with, you know, a disclaimer, I got up on stage, I deleted all my slides and I said, I, you know, I'm here to talk to you about living with courage. Let me tell you how my day started today. And, and I said, look, I'm in a heightened adrenaline state. I have not yet processed all of this. And I, there will be a

time for me to collapse into the parasympathetic here and process, but it's not now. So if I seem a little avatar-ish here, it's because, not because like, that's the way I am, but it's where I am in this moment. And I'm just committed to doing this real time in front of everybody. And so I spent the next several days, every single day, I did a video and I reached out to different experts and I'm like, okay, I have learned how to unpack the trauma that happened to me in the past. Cause I did not do that real time. I survived it. And I can share some of those tools I use, which served me until they didn't serve me. But this time I'm like, Hey, I'm going to show how to process it real time, which means really feeling it, really owning it, really, you know, all that I needed to do.

I was in unparalleled territory real time in my body through my mind, body, spirit and get it out of me. And so I did not have any remnants left. And I did that real time and shared videos every single day. I still have some I feel like I have like a little mini book in me about the lessons I learned about all that. And I'm in a state now where I go out running. I mean, I definitely am a little more vigilant. I will say that. I probably had let my guard down a little bit too much where I just feel like we live in a safe world and I just don't live in fear. I just don't live in fear. And I sort of normalized not living in fear. I'm now a little more vigilant. Like there's times where I'm like in a new place where I'm just like, oh,

what's the environment's like? Maybe I'll take somebody walking with me or running with me and not to be constrained by fear, but just to be a little more vigilant. And but I feel like I'm definitely freed from it all. Like I'm just I'm in a real place. Yeah. Not my experience from my assaults and abuse in the past. Right. Like I'm just, I'm in a heel place. Yeah. Not my experience from my assaults and abuse in the past. Right. But I was like, I have no way I'm letting this get stuck in me. I had to do that in a late time. Like most of us do. Well, and I think as people are listening, I mean, I just got goosebumps as I was hearing you talk about it. And so empowering that you decided to process it right in the moment, because you could have pushed it away just like you pushed the other assaults away, but you're like, no, I'm going to figure this out.

I'm going to work through this now. And how was your experience working through it in a real time different than going back to the past many years later? Because I think when things happen to people, it's really easy to push it down and to repress it instead of like, what, you know, what am I feeling right now? And you gave everybody permission to feel right when you're giving your talks. It's like, you know, no emotion is bad or good. Yes. What was so powerful about it is you spoke on spoke about it on to date on, you know, on like live television. Yeah, morning show, right? I know, it's crazy. So just an advocate for women

and women speaking up for themselves. So my question is- And anyone who's been victimized. There's a lot of men who have been through- That's true. Awful abuse and sexual assault, and they don't feel like they have a voice as much as women do in this day and age.

So I want to at least speak up for everybody. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. So was it, you know, now, now being where you are now, was it easier to process it in real time? Are you happy you did that? Oh, yes. But I will say like, I didn't have all the tools I have now in my life and my emotional maturity and spiritual maturity that I, you know, then when I was a teenager. So I don't know if I had the capacity to do what I did now back then, if that makes sense. And all the experience that I've had through my traumas of the past and unpacking them and

healing from them in a delayed state and my own just emotional spiritual growth that gave me the fortitude and the ability to be able to process it real time but I will say yes like for sure that it's for anyone who went through something whether it was 20 years ago or yesterday, don't delay another day taking a path to healing. I found, I publicly announced I was doing this real time to hold me accountable so I wouldn't contract and hide too, right? That was part of like, everybody's watching. So like if I start contracting and I start withering

or I go into the abyss, like people are gonna start asking what's going on. So it was kind of an accountability. But I found again I you know I don't have PhD in this but I work with a lot of people who do that um our emotions need to be expressed first of all we often have uh we get stuck emotionally in life and then we have physical manifestations there's a book the body keeps the score you may be familiar with it about, you know, how sometimes we get stuck in our body. That those emotions, they are there for you to feel and express.

And if expressed, they will pass through. They will. Like clouds going by, if you are able to experience them and express them, the clouds will go by, but it's when we like, I don't want to, I'm afraid of them or they're too scary or I'm being too stoic. And this is especially for men, right? I don't want to express my emotions. Then they're going to get stuck in you and they're going to continue to rise and trigger physically or in other ways in your patterns in life and behavior. But if you are willing and courageous enough, because it takes courage, I feel scared. I feel ashamed. I feel alone. I feel whatever it is, unapologetically expressing it, both verbally, like saying those words out

loud, writing those words down, but actually feeling it in your body and even connecting in your body, like where am I feeling that? For me, I often feel it in the pit of my stomach. That's where I feel a lot of my negative emotions. It's uncomfortable. And I, from the past, my survival mechanism was to disconnect, almost dissociate a little bit. And it helped me survive and it served me really well. And it was a tool that I could use in order to be able to perform in the military instead of worrying about the past or the future that I could use in order to be able to perform in the military instead of worrying about the past or the future. I could be present in the moment to just be like, nope, disconnect. I'm not going to worry about that or that. And that's a tool that's good to

have in your toolbox, but you don't want to live that way. You don't want to be living in a disconnected state where your heart and your feelings are not fully connected and integrated because then you may feel like, hey, I'm missing out on all the pain in life, but you're also missing out on all the joy and all the love and all the positive experiences, the vibrancy of life. So you either cut off the wavelength so you're stuck in this numb place or you open yourself up to all of it. And oftentimes when we feel feelings over here, we feel like they're going to last forever. And they're not. If you feel them and you express them and you're a safe place expressing it with others, they will pass. They need to be expressed and released. They're telling you something. You let them out. They may

emerge again, a little bit less powerful, emerge again, a little bit less powerful. It's just like the weight. They end up, I know. All right, it's out of me now. But if you hold them in, they're going to be showing their rearing their ugly heads for the rest of your life through all the different experiences you're having, whether they're physical, emotional, relational, as a mirror of like, hey, dude, you got some unprocessed anger inside you like, hello. And you're going to keep attracting things that bring it to light until you like, let it out, let it, let it be seen and let it out of you. And so I went through that real time. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable. There were times where I felt like I was in a dark place because I was feeling those feelings, but it didn't last. Like I was, I stayed with it. I expressed it. I did some also breath work associated with this because I could really help.

And just like, let it go. And sometimes it cycles when you feel like you're done with this. But I mean, I went through the whole gamut to process through this. And what I found is even working on processing this assault, I shared this at the Genius Speech, working with Sam Parashi,

who's an amazing coach to help people like process unprocessed emotions. The emotions that rose because I've worked with him weeks later were not related to the assault. They're related to some other stuff that was still lingering from my past. And so I showed the processing in real time actually got it to flow through me and flow past me instead of getting stuck. And I would encourage anybody to do that because it will get stuck in you and it will impact the quality of your life and it's not worth it. Thank you. Thank you, Martha, for just explaining that and also for the courage that you modeled to us in that moment. And as I think about, you know, all the difficulties you went through kind of early in your life

and you still claimed that you wanted to be a fighter pilot, even though that women were not able to fly. Against the law. Against the law. Right. So, so as people kind of think about that, like you chose to do something that was against the law at that moment. Yeah. What drove you to say this is what I wanted? And how can you give people advice for kind of claiming what they want, even though maybe it hasn't been

done before? Yeah, even if it feels impossible. You know, for me, again, where I was in my own kind of maturity and evolution, it was because they told me that I couldn't because I was a girl. And so, I mean, oftentimes those aren't the purest of motivations. Sometimes we get stuck going down a path for many years because we're trying to prove somebody wrong. But for me, it actually was the fuel that I needed. It was like, don't tell me I can't play a judge just because I'm a girl.

Like, no way so i just took my kind of rebellious um attribute of who i am and i channeled it into like well that's exactly what i'm gonna do and i will say cindra i now understand that it was somewhat connected to me having those negative experiences of being abused by my coach for example example, okay? I didn't understand this at the time, but there was something deeper going on inside me that I now understand, where had I not been through that trauma, I wouldn't have had this fire inside me saying,

don't hold me down and don't hold me back as a girl. Don't you dare do that to me. I think that I had kind of an easy path without that adversity. I wouldn't have had that fire in my belly to say, no. So I hadn't yet healed from it, but I made a decision to have it be a part of my jet fuel for my purpose and my path instead of crushing me. And I just decided and declared, I'm a fighter pilot.

And people laughed at me. They said, it's against the laws. I don't care. We live in America. Laws change. And I now, again, I now understand and I have tools to be able to share with others to use this. It's vision-based identity, okay? That you have a vision. I don't set a lot of goals lately just because I've learned, you know, these tools work better for me and they've worked better in my life in the past. Create the vision, whatever that vision is that's coming up inside you, create that vision, write it down, right? Whatever that is. For me, it was, I am a fighter pilot. I literally would visualize me flying fighter jets. And even though I had no idea how to fly any airplane and every decision I made was in light of, does this keep the vision open?

Does this bring the vision closer or not? For me, for my part, I had nothing to do with the law changing, the policy changing. I had nothing to do with it. But I had choices to make along the way for my attitude, how I grew, what skills and attributes I brought. And I kept, I'm a fighter pilot. It wasn't, I hope to be, I wish to be. So I'd encourage you, if you've got a big dream and a big vision, first feel it, don't be embarrassed about it,

even if it seems impossible. If you know how to do something, it's not a big dream. If you know how. We right away get stuck in the how, like how am I gonna make that happen? No, dream the dream, have the vision, hold that vision out there. And then I have very practical tools I teach people.

What routines and decisions can you make today, every day in the mundane in order to move you towards that vision. And a lot of this is similar to what James Clear talks about in his book, Atomic Habits, about setting the identity of the vision and then building the habits where the habits cast votes for the identity every day. And even if you don't feel like you're in that identity, you're casting votes for that identity and you're getting closer and closer to it with your very mundane decisions that don't feel glamorous, don't feel incredible. I mean, there's decisions I made to just like, you know, when I said I was going to run the

Hawaii Ironman triathlon, like I'd never, I didn't even own a bike. I'd never done a triathlon. So, you know, when I'm getting up on Saturday morning, when everybody's sleeping in and I'm going out for a run in these mundane things that are repetitive and consistent, I move my identity closer and closer to crossing the finish line of the Ironman, which I did. I move my identity closer and closer to being in the cockpit of a fighter jet when the conditions changed and I was in the right place at the right time with the right grit and the right qualifications.

So for you, it's the same thing. Hold the identity and then be willing to do the mundane with consistency in your routines that are casting votes every day and moving you towards that new identity. Because that's where people do amazing things. It's all the, you see the people crossing the finish line of the, you know, Olympics or doing incredible things in life or exiting their business with like, you know, an amazing number, but you don't see what they did every single day before everybody else was awake. That was the difficult, challenging, mundane stuff,

if that makes sense. So keep the vision, hold it with an open hand, and then pass votes every day through your daily routines. And I could see how that could really build confidence, right? When you think about when you were a fighter pilot and even then you went to politics and now you have your own business, what are the ways that you

have intentionally built your confidence? Like, I'm just thinking of, I'm imagining yourself being a fighter pilot, right? And you're the only woman. And I love what you've just talked about so far about future, future self and identity and creating that and then the habits. How did you intentionally build your confidence to believe that it was something you could keep doing? And then, you know, the next phase continue to build confidence and belief in yourself? Well, if you have a growth mindset, which your listeners all do, right? That's why they're listening to you, right?

They're high performers. Yes. They have a growth mindset. The reality is that we are signing up to a life where we will always be on the edge of discomfort and fear. That's the first thing, right? If you can picture like, okay, here's like a little circle of you, you know, you before you owned your business, you before you went into this new profession, you before you, you know, asked your spouse out on a date, you know, whatever it is,

right? And on the very edge of that circle for you to expand is fear. Like the very edge is fear. The very edge is discomfort. And if you're committed to expand, the barrier and the thing between you and expansiveness is discomfort because you've never done the thing before is the point, right? So we're going to feel uncomfortable. We don't feel confident. It's understandable that you don't feel confident in doing something you've never done before because you're going. So when you feel that discomfort, it's back to what we talked about earlier. Make the choice to do things afraid, right? Make the choice to be like the, you know, the very thing that I seek is the thing that I'm afraid of. And when you then step out to do, you know, what I took off in the A-time for the first

time, to do things afraid. I took off afraid. I'd never pulled a plane before. There were no simulators. There were no two seat models. I was terrified, but I had a choice. Take off afraid and become an A-10 pilot or taxi in and don't do it. I took off afraid. So I built my confidence even in that moment. I remember looking over at my instructor pilot like, oh my God, that's me. I'm an A-10 pilot. I had just expanded. So the circle gets bigger. I just expanded in that moment. Like, wow, I did it. And then, of course, I was like, oh, God, I got like an hour and a half of fuel. I got to figure out how to land this thing. So I was right on the edge again, right on the edge of the circle of fear.

Right. But then you choose to do things afraid and then you build new capabilities because you just did something new and you might have failed at it, by the way, but you realize like, oh, what's that scary? And you're not failing. You're either winning or you're learning. Right. And like, all right, well, pick up and keep going.

And then you expand in your confidence because you now have built a new muscle memory. So, you know, you get bigger. Right. So now you have a new muscle memory of like, I mean, it got to where me taking off and flying the A-10 was like driving the car to work. I'm exaggerating a little bit. And it becomes, and there's neurological science to this, it becomes unconscious competence, right? If you've ever talked to your listeners about this, but you start off with a conscious incompetence, but you know you're incompetent. And then you're making conscious choices to build the competence, but it eventually

you get the muscle memory and the pattern and it becomes familiar. And then you're unconsciously competent. And then again, here's you, here's your new circle, right? This is you. What's right on the edge of that? It's fear for the next level of expansion. And there we go again. And so if you're committed to a life in every area of your life, personal, health, relationships, business, that you're going to live an expansive life, you are also signing up to feel afraid and uncomfortable all the time. And that's okay. So just get familiar with it and be like, oh, I'm comfortable again. And when you start feeling comfortable,

ask yourself, oh man, I might be not growing right now. If you feel like you're in this like, oh, everything's just kind of going nice. Okay, well, where is my next calling to grow? Because if you're living a life in expansion, you're always gonna be called to more. And what's the next level of discomfort and fear you're gonna face?

And it's never gonna end until you take your last breath. But that's okay. I'd rather live like that and be like, wow, what's the next place I'm going in? And I've grew in areas this year that I never even imagined I was going to grow in because I'm committed to that lifestyle and I'm committed to expansiveness until I take my last breath. So that's how you build your confidence. And then as soon as you feel confident and comfortable, get ready to expand and be afraid again. Martha, if people aren't ready to go after their dreams, after listening to this conversation and ready to step into this fear,

I don't know what's going on. This is so powerful. And I know you have something that you want to tell us about that you're just starting. So give us the details of what you're offering to us listeners. So're just starting. So give us the details of what you're offering to us listeners. So, Cinder, I give keynote speeches like you, and I find, and I also do a lot of adventure things myself. I do backpacking, I do paragliding, I do all sorts of

stuff. And I found people have asked afterwards, can I come with you? Can I go deeper with you? And I've just been really sitting with myself, like, how can I help people more to go deeper with you? And I've just been really sitting with myself like, how can I help people more to go deeper? And so I'm now offering a free U3.0 adventure retreat. It's coming up this summer and the deadline closes soon. So you got to apply. It's at marthamixalley.com forward slash retreat. I'll make sure you have the link. And there's seven spots. And I'm inviting you to apply to come with me out in nature to connect with the divine essence of who you are, right, to peel back the layers of, you know, who you're not and who you truly are, to get a sense of maybe a little feeling a little bit afraid by like rappelling with professional guides, so you'll be totally safe. But when we do stuff like that, you can feel afraid, right? Like, I'm going on the mountain. It isn't going to work. So we're going to do some activities that are outdoor and they're adventurous, that are a little bit of a portal to get into like, all right, let's around the campfire, maybe be willing to turn the light on some of our deeper fears that are holding us back. Some of the deeper things that I still need to drop the drag on, connecting to

who you are, connecting with nature, connecting with your creator, connecting with me, connecting with others. And my intent is, hey, if you're wanting to reinvent yourself, you're going through transition, you're just looking for, you know, getting an inspiration for your next act, whatever that is, that you come with me on the U3.0 Adventure Retreat. You'll connect with nature. You will emerge from this retreat because you'll really discover the true nature of who you are and you'll emerge as U3.0 in less than four days. So this is free. I know this is crazy, but I like to do crazy things.

I'm in an abundance phase of my life and I wanna serve people. And so if that speaks to your soul, anything we talked about today speaks to your soul, apply for the retreat. The deadline is coming really soon. And I'm going to pick seven people to go through this incredible experience with me.

And I'm super excited about it. In addition to that, I'm offering free live coaching every Friday. I have a U3.0 Facebook community. I'll also make sure you have the link to that. And I just started this. So my intent is just continue to offer free value to people, to share insights, and we each help each other. Like if you're growth-minded and you're looking for like, I don't know, I'm dealing with something in my life or work or relationships or health,

I don't have all the answers. That's my first commitment. I've learned things along the way. But in the group, we also can have different ideas that come to support each other on our journeys. So every Friday at 11 a.m. Pacific time, I mean, unless I am, you know, in a hospital bed or, you know, I've taken my last breath, my intent is to offer this free live coaching. It's in the U3.0 Facebook community. You can get all the details to sign up for that. And I'm just trying to bring as much value as possible as part of my purpose on the planet to encourage people. I don't know if it's all figured out, but if I'm even like 10% in front of you on your journey and I can shine the light a little bit and help you on your way, that's a part of my purpose now. Martha, thank you so much for

offering both of those options for us. And those are going to be in the show notes. So make sure if you're listening, for example, on Apple Podcasts, that you scroll down and you'll see the show notes there. If you're listening on YouTube, you can see the show notes right underneath the description. Martha, wow, we covered so many amazing things today.

I appreciate you talking about identity and how to intentionally craft it. We talked about your struggles and how you, you know, moved through that trauma. And, you know, the main point of our conversation, I think the main theme was really about fear and stepping into the fear and that you're going to feel the fear and you should do it anyway. And if you're living a life of your own purpose and your own calling, you should do it anyway. And if you're living a life of your own purpose and your own calling, you should do the things that are really scary

because the things that are scaring you are there for a reason. So Martha, thank you so much for joining us today. I'm so grateful that you're here and I know everyone loved our conversation today. So I'm honored. It's a really amazing conversation. Thanks for having me on.

Super grateful for you. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow. Did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra.

That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. See you next week.