High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 639: For Me Not To Me

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Your life is based on the meaning you give it. You want to reframe things that limit you and your future. Choose meanings that empower you not enable you. Choose meanings that make you better not bitter. Choose meanings that help you not hinder you. See everything has happening FOR you not TO you. Power Phrase this Week: “I see difficulties and challenges as happening for me, not to me.” Quote of the Week: Hal Enrod, a Bestselling Author of the Miracle Morning said, “That is our responsibility to choose the most empowering reason for the challenges, events and circumstances of our lives.”

Hi, friends. My name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week, I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. It's time to check in with Cinder Campoff to get a little lesson on life today. It's for me, not to me. Cinder, start us off with a quote. I like this quote by Hal Enrod. He is the best selling author of the Miracle Morning book. And he said, that is our responsibility to choose the most empowering reason for the challenges, events, and circumstances of our lives.

Well, Cinder, what exactly are we talking about today? Well, what we're talking about is when we look back at tough moments in our lives, it's really easy to see the gifts as we look back. For example, I know you know this, Lisa, but I was at the Boston Marathon bombing, which was a really big moment in my life. But it helped me realize my own purpose and my calling. And it's easy to kind of look at things backwards, right, to see the gift. But today we're talking about how we can do that more quickly. And For Me, Not To Me is based on a quote by Byron Katie. And he said, life is simple.

Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. And you don't have to like it. It's just easier if you do. That is good. It's just easier if you do. What's the best way to view challenges or difficulties in our lives, our sports or business? I think this is the best way is to see that everything in our life is based on the meaning that we give it. And think about this, that we're meaning making machines, right? We also get to choose what we give meaning to. I can choose the meaning I give to a past experience just like you can. And the key is to choose to give, you know, the meaning to something that

empowers our future. So you can think of it in two ways, to me or for me. When you think about for me, you learn from it. You can be better because of it. You see it as a gift. But when you're thinking to me, you choose more of a victim approach. And we need to be kind of proactive and consciously choose our meanings. Because if we don't, we tend to go to, you know, the to me, meaning like more the victim approach. So the best way to see them is as challenges and failures and setbacks is happening for us, not to us.

And how would you tell us to do this mentally of seeing things and happening for us instead of to us? Yeah, so one way you could do this is just think about something in the past that maybe you've given a negative interpretation to. And your past is a story, right? And we can reinterpret that story, even if the past has thought that, you know, we're taking really personally, because life is based on what we focus on and what we give meaning to. So we can focus on the gains or the opportunity, you know, what we've learned from it, maybe the ways that we've been better because of the struggle. And so even the difficulties that we're experiencing in the present can happen for us.

So it's about being really intentional about it, thinking about the past and being intentional about the story we provide around it. So how is the ideal of seeing challenges for us really connected to our grit and the potential that we have for ourselves? Yeah, that's a good question. I think our natural tendency is to really focus on the negative and kind of inflate the negative. But when we do that, we give up on our goals and our dreams too easy. And if we're really trying to achieve a goal that we haven't yet experienced success around, you know, it's easy to say, like,

I guess this really isn't for me, or, you know, I can't do it. And so but people who accomplish their goals, see the difficulties that occur because of, you know, that it's necessary for them to be successful. So difficulty. So I think how strong we are, how persistent we are, and they actually show our grit. They help us develop our grit and they help us understand our true potential and power. That's why we want to really intentionally see things as happening for us. Sandra, do you have a final point for us today? Sure. The final point would just be, you know, your life is based on the meaning you give it. And you want to reframe things that limit you and limit your future. So choose meanings and,

you know, that really empower you, that enable you and choose meanings that make you better, not bitter, right? Choose meanings that help you not hinder you. I like that. Better, not bitter. And what is the power phrase for this week? I see difficulties and challenges as happening for me, not to me. Now, Sindra, if people resonate with this, they want to check out some of your other works, where can they go follow along with you? You can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. And this is based on a chapter in one of my books, Beyond Grit is the chapter it comes from or the book it comes from. So you can check that out there as well. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by

way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. See you next week.