High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 643: How to be Resilient in Change with Vered Kogan, Executive Coach and Keynote Speaker, The Momentum Institute

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

As a certified executive coach, with experience as a change management consultant, Vered has helped hundreds of individuals adapt more successfully to change. She has over 13 years of training and certifications in numerous modalities for change, including HeartMath®, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy®, Hypnosis, Brainspotting®, Havening Techniques®, EFT Tapping, Rapid Transformational Therapy®, and Psych-K®.  Vered is the host of the popular podcast called The Mindset Game® Podcast and CEO of the Momentum Institute.  In this episode, Cindra and Vered discuss:  How emotions impact your results  Her PLAY Framework to increase your resilience  How a leader’s mindset impacts the change process How you can navigate change more easily   HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.  

Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. You're listening to episode 643. My name is Dr. Sindhra Kampoff, and I'm the founder of the Mentally Strong Institute, where we help leaders and entrepreneurs, as well as athletes, play big and achieve their most audacious goals. If you want to achieve your goals quicker, uplevel your confidence, and increase your influence, I invite you to sign up for a free coaching call with one of my team members at freementalbreakthroughcall.com. We will help you create a breakthrough, a moment of more clarity and understanding, and to help you practice the high-performance mindset. That's freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call. And thank you for listening to today's episode and tuning in. Today on episode 643,

I interviewed Verid Kogan about how to be resilient during change. As a certified executive coach with experience as a change management consultant, Verid has helped hundreds of individuals adapt more successfully to change. She has a very cool background with over 13 years of training and certifications and numerous modalities for change, including heart math, neurolinguistic programming, brain spotting, havening techniques, and EFT tapping. She's also the host of a popular podcast called the Mindset Game Podcast and CEO of the Momentum Institute. Today in the episode, Vera and I talk about how emotions impact your results, her play framework to increase your

resilience, how a leader's mindset impacts the change process, and how you can navigate change more easily. If you'd like to see the full show notes and description of this podcast episode, I encourage you to head over to syndracampoff.com slash 643 for episode 643. And if you haven't already, please leave us a rating and review. I read those each and every week, and I'm so grateful to hear your comments about the show. If you're listening on an iPhone, for example, you can just scroll up wherever you're listening and leave us a rating and review there. Thank you so much. And without further ado, let's go ahead and bring on Varen. Welcome Varen Coggins to the podcast today. I'm so excited that you're here today on the High Performance Mindset. And you also have your own podcast called the

Mindset Game Podcast, which I know we'll talk about today. So first of all, I just want to welcome you to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining us here and being here today. Oh my gosh, Zendra. Pure joy. Excited. I'm excited to see what will evolve.

I'm excited to see what will evolve as well. We have a couple of different topics that we want to explore today. And I was just commending you for the incredible background that you have and so many incredible certifications. You're certified in neurolinguistic programming, timeline therapy, hypnosis, heart mass, rapid transformational therapy, Psyche, just to name a few. And so I'm really excited about really understanding how you use those in your work. But maybe just to get us started, you know, today we're talking to high performers, so people who really want to be at their best more often and their leaders, their athletes,

their mental performance coaches, etc. Why does the topics that we're going to talk about today related to resilience, mindset and change relate to them? Well, as you know, and I imagine that intuitively they all know from their experience, is that that inner game drives the outer game. And so sometimes we attach to certain goals, of course, which is a healthy thing. We're here to evolve and to grow. Sometimes, though, those attachments are what we might call over-attachments. They're fear-based, like I need to succeed, like I must succeed, or I must outperform myself, others. And sometimes that

can be harmful to the inner system. It can create a lot of stress. It can also not be healthy, of course, as we know for the body, and it can inhibit us from not necessarily reaching where we want to go, because sometimes we can get to the goals. It can lead us to get there in a way that's not healthy, not joyful, not fulfilling. And then we get there and we're kind of on empty, not really enjoying what we thought we'd enjoy. And that's pretty common with a lot of high performers. I agree with what you're saying is that many times we can over-identify with what we do or over-identify with the outcome or the competition or being better than someone else instead of being

our best that we can be. So definitely an inner limit or an inner block. Let's just dive into resilience to get started. And, you know, let's just talk about why does that topic, why is that important to you in general? And what does resilience mean to you? Well, resilience means a few things. So if I were to look at the definition that the Institute of HeartMath uses for physiological resilience, it's that state, you know, kind of optimal performance, optimal health, that state of coherence. And it's really not just about bouncing back from setbacks. It's about kind of preparing for them because we can get ahead of these things and get the body primed and ready to handle change or to handle adversities and to not dip quite so low or maybe not dip at all, in suffering states that many of us weave in and out of. Okay, I love that. So give us a sense on how you would encourage somebody who's maybe a leader

or high performer to prepare for setbacks. Well, first of all, it's having awareness, right? Knowing what are those things that, you know, situations, people, you know, circumstances that trigger us. And instead of using the word trigger, I'm going to invite us to consider activate us because what they're actually doing, those situations, is that they are activating parts of us to feel certain things with the invitation to then heal those things. So the thing to do is to begin to say, okay, what are those things that rub me the wrong way, that get me upset, or that activate me?

And thinking of these situations, like let's say running late to something or not being competent or as competent as I think I can be at something, not performing as well as I could, whatever that is. We all have different things. It could be somebody's mother-in-law or somebody's neighbor or whatever. It could be anything at all. Traffic, right? And to get ahead of it by saying, okay, what emotions does that induce? Yeah, so as I imagine, let's say being late, or I remember a time when I was late, right? And the fact that it even is inducing something means that it's a value of mine, let's say, right? If I was the person that we're talking about, you know, to be on time, let's be an integrity to be respectful, whatever that value is. And so anytime we're not aligned with one of our top values, we'll be induced to what we might call

a negative or unpleasant emotion. So I'd say, okay, let's say running late is a situation that activates me, what is the emotion, we got to label the emotion. And then what I would consider is, okay, what's my current response to that? Right? So maybe I'll call somebody, let them know, give them a heads up I'm running late or whatever. And to realize that that response, although it does soothe the situation somewhat, it doesn't actually heal the cause of that activation in the first place. Because if I'm feeling anything other than a pleasant emotion, it means that in that moment I'm blended with some unconscious or sometimes conscious part of myself that needs to be seen and heard and acknowledged. So I can get ahead of it by

perhaps imagining myself in that situation, being with that person, running late, whatever that is. And as I imagine that, getting coherent, right? Imagine myself settling into my body, breathing slowly and deeply, imagining the breath coming in and out of the heart, kind of centering my system, synchronizing my autonomic nervous system. And from there to activate a more regenerative feeling. So essentially to U-turn, shift and reset, so to speak. And that can help us to get ahead of that because energetically, we are setting an intention and energy does carry over. So when we do that, we're less likely to be activated into

the same intensity of that emotion in that event. Now, can we get ahead of everything? Of course not, right? There's so many things that we can't expect, that we don't know are going to be showing up. That's life. And when that happens, we know we can shift and reset as soon as we're conscious that we're, you know, our state has shifted, our energy has dipped, then we can shift and reset. So resilience is not just about bouncing back up when that happens. It is very much getting ahead of it.

So practicing our coherence when we wake up throughout the day, when we go to just build our resilience capacities, like filling up the energy in the bucket, so to speak. So when stuff does happen, we're not going to go back to empty and feel exhausted or be incoherent, unable to think and respond objectively. I appreciate, Baird, what you've said so far about like using activator instead of trigger, because I think the activating word is less maybe negative or labeling, like it just seems less judgmental. And I think to myself, there are times where in my past, I've really beat myself up or gotten really low after an event you know maybe I didn't meet my expectations in some way and it's made such a big strong

imprint in my mind you know that when I think back to that event I'm frustrated or angry or shamed I feel shame and so one of the things I try to do is just not make as strong as imprints, right? Like move on a little bit more quickly. And I like what you're saying about resilience and preparing for setbacks and helping us just continue to be a little bit more flexible and adaptable when things don't go perfect. Yeah. And it is important to identify, as you're saying, how we're feeling. I feel ashamed know, can we, but when we can, when we have that little bit of a pause, to go in and really kind of listen to that part, you know, like, let's say to the ashamed part, what are we ashamed of? And to just by witnessing its pain, oftentimes that helps to self-regulate the system if we can also activate the heart because there is no over attachment in the heart right the the the thing the perception

that got us feeling the emotion was there to make us witness to something that was probably um happening long ago maybe to some repressed shame. It's just triggering a circuit in our brain of something that was probably long ago. And so it's almost like a little ashamed little kid, let's say a little three-year-old, Sindra, coming into it. And we want to kind of lean down and look at her in the eye and say, hi, kiddo, what's going on? How are you feeling? Why are you feeling ashamed? And just soothing her, just soothing her before going to the next room. Yeah, I appreciate that. And when I think about resilience, and you've kind of mentioned this a little bit when we're thinking about preparing for setbacks

and not dipping so low, and you mentioned just noticing the emotions that are induced. Why do you think it's really important for us to just connect our emotions to resilience? And how do you see emotions impacting what ends up happening to us or maybe our results? Well, to become more resilient, by its very definition, it means that we need some new resources, right? For me to be able to be different than I was yesterday or 10 minutes ago, you need to have some new resources, some maybe positive learnings, lessons, right? There's some gift that has come from the experience, right? My current state plus new resources equals a more resilient state, higher performing state. And so the resources can only come when we are able to be with the feelings because it is the parts of us that will give us the gift when they feel that it's safe for us to receive that. So if I'm feeling shame about something and I'm able to be with that part and say, hey,

you know, maybe it's a little one, maybe it's a teenager, whatever that is. And by parts, I mean, we're a multi-personality being. We have our kind of self or self, which is who we really are, which is that totally loving energy, right? That's feeling, you know, courageous and clear and, you know, creative and confident, all those things. And so anytime I'm not feeling a pleasant emotion, it means that I'm blended with some part of mine. And those parts are, you know, just protective, wonderful little parts of ourselves that are trying to keep us safe, oftentimes operating out of very, very old maladaptive programs. Absolutely. And that's what creates the overattachment, right? That's a protective

mechanism. So let's say part of me felt ashamed when she was three, then some protective part of me is going to say, I need to outperform. I need to do amazing so that I will never experience that shame again. And that's when we get into like, I need to perform because that's how I feel loved. That's how I feel safe. And then it can get unhealthy. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. One of the acronyms that you have is your play framework. Tell us a bit about that and how that could help us each continue to build our resilience. Yeah. So the play framework, it's an acronym, P-L-A-Y, and it's based on the understanding that in order to shift some unconscious pattern, baseline belief mindset, we have to activate the heart. We cannot do that with our just conscious thinking alone, right? We all know this. If I say to myself, stop having a

party, right? Stop feeling ashamed, you know, just look at the positive and you're alive. That might be a little bandaid in the moment to redirect my energy, but it doesn't actually heal the root of what created the perception, which then, or the story, which then created the shame in the first place. So that pattern will keep showing up again and again and again. And sometimes it gets louder. Yeah, absolutely. What does, well, first of all, how do we know that we have an unconscious belief or something holding us back? Well, our emotional guidance system, the heart. So if I am focused on somebody or on a result or a situation, an event, and I'm still holding on to some unpleasant emotion, if I'm other than who I truly am, that core self that I talked about, it means that there is some part of me that needs to be seen and heard. That means that there's some over-attachment, there's some protective mechanism at play here. And that is an opportunity, again,

to go inward and to heal what needs to be healed, interrupt that pattern, and like I said, hopefully resolve that at a deeper unconscious level. So the play framework is really a way to pause in our busy lives for just a couple of moments and be able to really see those parts of us, respect them, acknowledge them because they're trying to keep us safe. And to then activate the heart, activate that self, true self, higher self kind of energy to heal. And then that allows us to yield, to just let go of that over-attachment. And it might not be that we do it once and it completely releases us. It's a problem. It's a problem. It's an opportunity that resolves a problem by intention and attention, right? The

intention being to really be there with those unconscious, little scared, perplexed parts of us and to love them. And over time and patience and with compassion, those programs, neurological programs do get dissolved. And we literally will think of the situation of the person and not have any kinesthetic. That thing that used to induce a negative emotion will not anymore. And that's when we know we are truly free, when we're not operating blended with that part. So the first thing is always pause. P is for pause. And I know you know how important the pause is, right? In our busy lives when our intention is most of the time external, right? That's how we, when beings have been conditioned to evolve, to stay safe by noticing what's

going on in our environment. This is actually an invitation to do the opposite, you know, assuming that we're in a safe place, right? To be able to do this, to just pause for a moment and take our attention inward. Sometimes when we're really activated, in order to even do that, for the body to feel safe enough to just allow us to pause, we need to maybe take some deep breaths. You know, just to interrupt whatever circuit is being run in that moment in the background, whatever tape is being played, so to speak. So that's the pause. And that can take a moment. Sometimes it can take more than just a moment, right, to just ground ourselves.

And there are a few ways to do that, of course. Bottom line is an intention to go inward. Once we've done that, then we need to see what's there, what parts of us are present. Maybe there is a part of us that's feeling ashamed. Maybe we didn't perform as well as we did or plan to or as well as others expected us to, right? Maybe we feel disappointed in ourselves. Maybe we feel like we've let people down. Maybe we feel not good enough, not competent enough, powerless, helpless, whatever that might be. We want to just kind of label what it is that we're feeling in the moment. And that in and of itself is a self-regulation technique. So even if we just pause to label the feelings, right? A part of me feels helpless, a part of me feels scared,

part of me feels ashamed. That already has an effect on the amygdala part of our brain that shifts some of the energy. Then if you want to take the next step, that is to activate the heart, to activate the heart. So we've paused, we've labeled how we feel, right? A part of me feels this, a part of me feels that. And then we also want to label how we want to feel, okay? That also helps us when we activate the heart to know what vibration specifically we are activating. So let's say I feel ashamed or part of me feels ashamed. And I want to feel a sense of confidence, let's just say, or competence, yeah? Or calm, whatever that might be. Set that in, intentionally matters here. So then we're at the A. A is to activate the heart. There is no polarization in the heart, the physical organ of the heart sends a different signal to our head brain

when we are activating compassion, curiosity, calmness, and so on. When we're activating a positive or regenerative feeling, we have a smoother heart rate variability pattern going up the vagal nerve to the thalamus in our brain, which then controls our thinking, yes? So if I'm feeling a pleasant emotion, and I'll show you in a moment how to do this, but let's say for now I'm activating a feeling of calm, and I'm starting, let's say, from an incoherent state. My HRV heart rate variability pattern is very erratic, right? If we were to graph it out, you know, heart rate over time, it's very erratic. That means that that incoherent signal is going up to my head brain. And I'm not thinking clearly, I'm hijacked. So whatever story I'm telling myself in that moment is not even true or real. That's true. It's just a projection from something that

happened a long time ago. Yeah, some part of me that's being reactivated, essentially a part that's kind of frozen in time, let's say as a three-year-old little girl or five-year-old little boy or whatever. Some of these parts are not even ours. They're what we call legacy burdens. They're international. We've just carried them because that hasn't been completed. Yes. So we've paused, we've labeled how we feel, we label how we want to feel, just setting that intention. There is no right or wrong. Whatever it is, is perfect. And then we activate our heart, essentially to send a different signal, a more coherent signal to our head brain, so that we can shift our perception. Because the only way to, again, change how we feel is by

getting new resources, to build our resilience. And I can't get new resources, get new learnings, get a new perception until I change my physiological state. Otherwise, I'm blocked. I'm in full view vision. I can't see the perspective. I can't see what I can't see. So I have to work with my body. And so to activate the heart, one of the quickest ways, there are many techniques and many of the ones that you mentioned at the beginning of the show to do this, like EFT tapping and havening techniques and many, many others that I'm sure you're also trained in. One of the quickest ways is to get coherent. And so first of all, we want to focus our attention in the area of the heart and just breathe slowly and deeply, imagining as if the breath was flowing in and out of our heart or chest

area. So we'll practice this in a moment. For now, I just want our listeners to just kind of follow the steps just to kind of understand why we're doing this. We're getting that breath, slow, deep breath in and out of the heart to synchronize what's called our autonomic nervous system, which has a sympathetic branch, kind of the stress response and a parasympathetic, which is a relaxation response. And what we want is a nice balance, almost like the infinity wave, just going from

one side to the other, right? Wave is going up and down, right? So that breaks whatever pattern is going on in our brain in that moment. Yes, whatever story we're reactivating right then and there is being interrupted and we're getting the body back to balance, yeah? At this point, we have not yet activated a positive feeling. We've just turned ourselves into a neutral, if you will. Sure. Okay. Then we want to activate a positive or a positive feeling. We've just turned ourselves into a neutral, if you will. Sure. Okay. Then we want to activate a positive or regenerative feeling. So technically we could activate any positive feeling and already get a different signal going to our brain. But if we really want to heal this part, we want to activate the feeling that we intend to feel. So whatever we labeled that we want. So let's say

I labeled I want to feel calm. So then what I want in that second step once I'm breathing slowly and deeply in and out of my heart, imagining the breath flowing in and out of the heart, finding a nice comfortable rhythm, then I want to activate in this case, for example, calm. So I may remember a time when I felt calm and I may imagine being there seeing what I saw hearing what I heard which of course is an anchoring technique it allows us to anchor back into that state because our body remembers how we felt or I could just imagine breathing calm right calm or ease in and out of my heart and that allows me to calibrate into that vibration it's almost like tuning into that station on the radio, right? Allowing me to be in that vibration.

And from that vibration, I can ask for guidance. So let's say I'm feeling a little more calm, right? If that's the intention. Then the why is to yield that over-attachment by getting guidance, getting the resources, okay? I can ask myself a question. I can ask my heart for guidance. Something like what's an even more effective solution here or efficient strategy or what's the next step or what's most important here? It really doesn't matter what we

ask. It's just asking the heart for guidance. And then that intuition is able to come in through the heart, what we call non-local intuition. It's intuition beyond time and space. The heart is connected to a field beyond this physical dimension. There's a lot of research showing that. And we're able to access that. That's the new resource that then allows me to perceive the situation differently so I can reflect back on the issue that activated me in the first place and what I will notice if I truly activated my heart, that my perception is, you know, a little gentler.

It's a little softer. That over-attachment is just, you know, there's maybe a little more forgiveness of self or other, maybe just a little bit more understanding, compassion, or curiosity, there will be a shift. Now, that doesn't mean that the problem is completely unrooted, so to speak. It's just softer a little bit. Absolutely. As I do that again and again, there will be a shift that will happen that will be more generalized. So that one day I'll wake up and I won't perform the way that I did or that same activating event happens and I'll be like, wow, I just don't feel the way I used to. It's just softer now, right? Something's different, right? And people will start to notice too at that point. They'll say like, wow, Sindra, there's something different about you. Absolutely. Well, I appreciate the play acronym. So P is pause, L is label how you feel,

A is activate the heart, and Y is yield to the over-attachment, right? By basically like asking ourselves a different question or, you know, like what you said, like what's the next step or what's an even stronger way to see the situation? Is there anything I'm missing or how would you expand on that? The only thing is sometimes it's also helpful to label how we want to feel. If we miss that, that's cool too. Totally. The moment we've activated the heart, like I said, there's a different pattern going on to our head brain. We're in a whole brain state. It's almost like all these little sweet little parts of us are sitting with us and we're just loving on them and soothing them.

And each of us has a self-healing mechanism. So, yes, I may have many certifications. You have. Whoever is listening has their own better, so to speak, to do whatever they're doing. And each of us has our own self-healing mechanism. That's why the placebo effect is there, right? Our body knows how to heal, heal from physical ailments and heal from mental, emotional, spiritual ailments.

And so we just need to yield to that, to just go to the heart, just pause there, activate the heart and just notice what's different, how our perception has shifted. And that is what opens the door to the new resources, which then over time builds more and more and more resilience. There's also more DHEA in our system when we do that. It's a vitality hormone. And it has an offset mechanism to the cortisol that's in the body. of practicing this, we notice much better psychological balance. Research studies from HeartMath, you know, have showed less cortisol, more DHEA. Life is a little easier. It doesn't mean that the stuff outside of us has changed. We're facing the same stuff. It's just a response to it. It's just a little lighter and, you know, have that same grip that it used to. Hi, this is Cyndra Campoff, and thanks for listening to the High Performance Mindset. Did you know that the ideas we share in the show are things we actually specialize in implementing?

If you want to become mentally stronger, lead your team more effectively, and get to your goals quicker, visit freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call with one of our certified coaches. Again, that's freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free call. Talk to you soon. Barry, can you talk about how you've used the PLAY acronym and how you have used that process yourself or a client that you work with as a coach. Tell us a little bit about just some case studies. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, every day. Yeah. I figure out it. Every day. I mean, every client today, I hope my husband was something yesterday morning using play. And so I want out out of confidentially i won't use that my husband

my husband um i'll use a client that we don't know who they are perfect so for example let me think oh my gosh okay so one of the clients for example um today uh was feeling uh like regret. There were a couple of things, there's a building that they're looking to purchase for their organization. Their organization has expanded so far, a new, let's call it unit of the organization. And they countered last week, and then, you know, because they challenged it, somebody else gave an offer and they lost that. So there was some regret around that. There was also regret around something else that had happened in the organization. Like they felt like they could have, should have done better. Got it. And, and there were holding on to that regret, right? So even just knowing the event has passed,

right? These events have passed and yet they're still holding on to regret, that is an opportunity to resolve something. If I'm holding on to that baggage, that's an know, you know, the mind body connection, it can, it has the potential to lower other things around it, like organs and so on, lower in vibration, and maybe we may manifest disease, or we may manifest other things in our life that we don't welcome. So in order to stay nice and healthy, first and foremost, and to just experience more ease, it's important to pause and play. So what we did is we just did that process, right? So we kind of paused, we labeled what is it that we're feeling, right? And we went specifically with one of those events. What is it that we're feeling? What is it that the regret is about? In his situation, because he is one of my clients and he knows how to do EFT tapping,

we labeled how he wants to feel. And then we activated the heart with emotional freedom techniques tapping, which kind of looked like this. Even though, and I'm tapping on the side of the hand for those people that are listening, even though I feel this regret and I can feel it in my, I can't remember where it was, let's say chest, as I focus on countering and losing that opportunity, that building. And he kind of ends with, I deeply and completely accept myself. And he did that three times. And then he tapped on other meridian points in the body and I'm tapping on kind of my face, different points and so on. And within a couple of minutes, the intensity of

that regret, which I can't remember what it started from, let's say it was five out of 10 or seven out of 10, 10 being the most intense, went down. And I can't remember if we did one or two rounds, but it went down to completely zero. And then his whole perception changed. He realized he did the best that he could. He can't be perfect at all times. He can't do everything at once. He can't always make the right decision. He's human. Yes.

And on some metaphysical level, that event happened for him in order to get to this place where he's in love with the play and to release that. Because that little part of him that felt the regret is something that happened a long time ago.

Right. It's just being reactivated. It's a shadow that's being projected onto something or someone to make him conscious of that which was unconscious, to heal that which needed to be healed and raise his consciousness and in doing so also the collective consciousness. Well, thank you for that real life example. I think that really helps for people to understand the play acronym and how to use it. Farid, one of the things that I think can be really hard for people to deal with is just change in general. And I want to ask you

some questions about that. And because I know that's one of your expertise is general. And I want to ask you some questions about that. And because I know that's one of your expertise is change. And I'm thinking about how the things we've talked about of maybe even play and connecting to your heart can help people work through change, because that can be really activating for people who are going through a lot of change in their life or at their work. And, you know, as humans, we don't really love change in general. So how does what we've talked about so far connect to just the change process? Well, the unconscious system, the system of parts, values first and foremost protection. The highest prime directive of our unconscious mind is to run and preserve our body,

to keep us alive, to keep us safe. So that very loving protective mechanism will do everything in its power to keep us safe. The moment we introduce anything that's new or different, that we don't already have the circuitry, neural programs uh to do that in an easy way in a familiar automatic way think driving for the first time right like right the right no or if we have kids that are in the process now like it's it's yes i have one right now learning and it's a little stressful yes right, right? Because he doesn't quite know, is it a he or a she? It's a he. Yeah. So he doesn't quite have that as an automatic pattern. He hasn't been driving for a

while. So he's still, it's very conscious, right? And the protectors are going, stay safe, stay safe, stay safe, right? And so he's hypervigilant, right? He's over-focused. And what will happen over time is he builds that circuitry, practices that or imagines that, right? He's over-focused. And what will happen over time is he builds that circuitry, practices that or imagines that, right? He's going to build that circuitry, fire and wire those circuits in the brain until it becomes a new pattern. And then one day he'll be driving somewhere and he'll be like, ah, I don't even remember the drive, right?

He just kind of showed up there. It became habitual, automatic, unconscious. Until that happens, there is a transition, right? From the current to the future state. And that transition is very chaotic for the body because the body says, I need safety, right? But the moment we kind of let go of that, it's almost like the monkey bars where we let go, it's like, oh, we're kind of just hanging there. You know, it's that current state, the old has a very powerful kind of magnetic pull, right?

So that's why people resist the transition. And notice the distinction between resisting change and resisting transition. It's not so much the change going from point A to point B that people resist, but they resist the chaotic transition, pleasant emotion, the psychological realignments that happen, that need to happen, the new resources we need to gain, that takes energy and the body wants to preserve energy, right? It's our brain's job to preserve energy. So what happens is that the body's like, no, right? No, let's just stay where we are. But yet the situation dictates that we shift. And sometimes it's an intention. It's a goal, a very meaningful goal that we want, right?

We want to run the marathon. We want to grow our company, whatever that might be. So just instinctively, when it gets to any transition, these parts that may be dormant get activated. All of a sudden, you know, this little three-year-old part that used to feel shame, but that was kind of quiet, all of a sudden, right? It's very activated. All of a sudden, you know, this little three-year-old part that used to feel shame, but that was kind of quiet, all of a sudden, right? It's very activated. And so really important during times of change is to pause and go inward to soothe that inner system. It's all right. We're safe. It's like a totally trustworthy parental spirit, right? That self-energy.

You're all right, little one. It's okay. It's okay. And as we do that, we self-regulate. And as we self-regulate our system, we're able to perceive things more objectively because we are more coherent. Remember that old brain state? We're able to intuit new creative solutions. It's the most creative time when we're not attached to the old or the new. When we're in that in-between, holy cow, that's where the most innovative,

creative, out-of-the-box thoughts come from. Yeah, because we're not attached. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Barrett, how would you define coherent? Just in case anyone who's listening isn't quite sure. Absolutely. So again, the Institute of HeartMath defines coherence as that state of optimal performance, optimal health. It's where all of our systems are working synergistically together. So our immune system, our hormonal system, our nervous systems, cardiovascular, they're just, they're all working together, working together harmoniously. So think of a high-performing rowing team. Yeah. There is somebody that's going stroke, stroke, stroke.

Yes. That's kind of leading the system. Absolutely. Everybody's dipping their oars at the exact same time. And that boat just flies. Little resistance. It just flies. Why?

Because everybody's working together in harmony, in harmony. So coherence is that state of harmony within, and it's also harmony without, outside of us. The more that we're coherent within, the more that our lines are more in harmony as well. So powerful. Yeah, very helpful. Well, so as we're talking about change and how our body's really intention is to keep us safe, right? That's really what it's intended to do. And I appreciate what you're saying about the change versus the transition. How does a leader's energy or their optimal performance state, right? Oh, coherence. How does that impact everyone else on the team, especially in change? Great question. So ProSci, which I'm certified with, it's a change management methodology.

They've been doing research on change management best practices from the late 1990s. And what they have seen year over year over year is that really what makes or breaks the change is the sponsor, the sponsor change, their energy. So specifically what we want sponsors, those that initiate the change to do are what we call the ABCs. So the A is to actively and visibly participate throughout the entire change, not just make the announcement and then go focus on the next shiny thing. To actively visibly be there. B is to build a coalition.

It's not just on their shoulders. To build a coalition and delegation of change. Some of them are the actual leaders by title, and some are just people who have a lot of sway and influence over others in the organization. And then the C is to communicate directly with employees as much as possible to really be there with them in that transition. Because the moment that a change is announced, there is a dip. So for those of you that are listening, I'm kind of showing with my hand a change curve, which kind of shows its productivity over time. So you imagine the Y axis is is productivity, the X-axis is time. And then as soon as a change is either communicated or there's just even a rumor of a change, then productivity starts to dip. So imagine a curve where that just dip,

dip, dip, dip, dip, and it dips, continues to dip. If we don't practice change management principles, if we don't self-regulate our own system, change our own limiting mindsets around the change, it'll dip into depression, despair, just that place of just darkness. And oftentimes you feel very lonely as well. And so there's our teams. And then at that point, there's a place of like, I have to accept the change. If I don't, I cannot get that upward momentum to build the productivity back up. And I may revert to the old ways like a rubber band. That's why these days about 80 plus percent of change initiatives fail. We'll just revert right back. Why? How do you do that? Because remember, the current state has a very powerful magnetic kind of, you know, holding energy there, wants to keep us there, because that's safe. And that's familiar. Remember, our parts want to protect us. So as a leader, it's really important,

number one, to expect that there's going to be a productivity dip. Expect that. That will happen because people just don't know how to do the new behaviors just yet. Okay. And to support them through the change, to allow them to voice what they need to voice, to give them choices, give them as much ownership and agency in the changes they can, because then that helps their parts to feel a little bit more certainty in a very uncertain time, you know, to as much as possible instill hope, right? Give them a picture of the future, let them taste it and feel it. Ask them what's important to them so that when you are communicating why the change, why now, what's going to happen if we don't change, we're communicating it through language that's going to resonate with whoever we're speaking with. So if let's say you were part of a change and I was part of the sponsorship

coalition, let's say I'm your direct supervisor in this example, and I said to you, Sindra, what's most important to you about this change? And let's just play with this. What would be important to you in this example? If I was the leader? If you were an impacted employee. Well, if I was an impacted employee, I think the thing that would most matter to me would be that my voice was heard and someone cares about me. Because that's what I think I'm most interested in that my leader does. So if I were your direct supervisor and I were communicating, giving you awareness of

the change, I may communicate it through that lens. So I may see something. I respect that you want your voice to be heard. And I appreciate that you're expressing that now, that you're modeling that right now. And not but. Yes. This change is important because if we don't do this, this is what's going to happen. And with time, with this change, it will give even more of an opportunity for you to express how you feel because we're going to check in with you every week and open that door for you to share whatever it is that needs to be shared because we value

your perspective. You know how to do your job best and we want your input as to how to adapt to this new world in a way that's most comfortable for you. Absolutely. I mean, that's very empowering. You know, just as you're telling me that, and I know we're just doing something hypothetical here. It was very empowering to hear those things from you. What if someone's listening and they have a hard time with change in their lives? And the interesting thing is like, the world is constantly changing. Maybe we don't always recognize it, but what advice would you give for those people who would say they don't love change? I would say that that's an appropriate feeling, if you will. That's a very natural feeling because change requires energy,

especially in this busy world of ours where a lot of us are depleted energetically. There's just so much wanting our attention. I would say, you know, first to be with those feelings, to accept those feelings, not to skip over them or to, you know, positive thinking them, to just be there, right? Play the game. Pause, label. I feel frustrated, disappointed, angry, irritated, frustrated, whatever that is, right? I want to experience more calm here, right? Maybe I can change the situation or influence it. Maybe I can't, right?

Just kind of accept what is just to find that place. And so how do I do that? I label how I feel, how I want to feel. And then I go into my heart. I'm going to my heart just breathing slowly and deeply in and out of my heart imagining the breath flowing in and out of my heart or chest area and just by doing that I've kind of softened and then I may activate that feeling of how I want to feel. So I may, let's say in this example,

if I want to feel more ease around the change, maybe I'll breathe more ease or more confidence, whatever that is. And then right then and there, I've interrupted that pattern. And then from that more place, I can ask my heart for guidance. What's a more efficient or effective attitude, action, or solution here? What might make this easier? And I'm going to intuit something. Whatever that is that I need, whatever is that new resource, that spiritual lesson that I'm meant to receive in order for me to evolve in this life, not just because of this change. This change is activating something for a reason and a purpose. I'm ready to receive a new learning. So I receive that learning and then I do

the best that I can, right? And I continue to play and self-regulate and I won't dip quite so much into that valley of despair, into that change curve. Chances are that my productivity is not going to dip quite so much too. Why? Because I'm thinking more coherently, I'm making better decisions, I'm much more able to function, right? In that whole brain state, there's a lot of research around that. Also, I'm just finding more ease in the midst of the change. And if I'm in a team where my leader is modeling this, maybe we're starting meetings with kind of a little bit of play, just kind of pausing to label what is and activating the heart,

right? Just together coming into synchronicity, into coherence, then I know that my leader has my back and team members have my back. I know I'm not alone because often the very initial event that created this manifestation in my life, that part probably felt really alone. Yeah. Yeah. So knowing we're not alone. And so I think it's number one, again, an acknowledgement of how we feel. It's normal and appropriate to feel that. Quote, unquote, normal, right? It's absolutely warranted and appropriate. And to just find some place of ease in that and acceptance in that right rather than going against the current or resisting the change to just say okay I feel this it sucks right I don't want this maybe I'm overwhelmed maybe I don't know how to do this maybe there are parts of me that are scared of what I

might lose any threat or danger that I perceive, just to accept that. And the moment I begin to accept is the moment that my body will allow me to do the uncomfortable thing that doesn't yet feel natural until it becomes more natural. So one of the little activities that I like to do when I speak to groups is I have them kind of cross their arms. You may have done this. Just like listeners or viewers to just cluster in the usual way, just how that feels. And then go ahead and uncross them and cross them the other way. Oh, yes. I can't do that. Well, I can, but it feels uncomfortable. That is warranted for us to feel

because our brain doesn't have that new program yet. So the moment that I kind of go inward and then I accept that rather than trying to resist it or force it or kind of keep things the same, maintain certainty, I just like, just take my hands off the steering wheel and say, okay, this just happened. Okay, what is within my control or influence, if anything?

Yeah. Yeah. Certainly 100% in my control or influence is how I feel. Absolutely. And change that if I don't want them. And that requires me to label, activate my heart. And even if I can't change whatever is changing, how I feel, I can change my response to it and I can grow from it.

So then that change that used to be a negative thing in my perception is now a positive because I've learned something that is going to help me. And that has helped that little part of me that is now free. Yeah, I love it. What a beautiful message, Varid, just for all of us to really get connected with our heart. That's one of the big themes I heard from our conversation today. I loved how we started with resilience and what it is and using the word activator versus trigger. I think that's really powerful. And the idea of like not getting so low or dipping so low, bouncing back, preparing for setbacks.

I love the play acronym. I think that's really powerful. And that is for people, pause, label how you feel and how you want to feel is the L. A is activate your heart. And then Y is yield to the overattachment. And I like the questions that you had us ask ourselves in that Y. And then appreciate just your definition of coherence. And as well as when we were talking about change, the ABC. And, you know, being with the people as you're activating the change, building a coalition and communicating with your employees along the way. How can people reach out to you? You have a company called the Momentum Institute and obviously your podcast,

the Mindset Game podcast is incredible podcast. So how could people learn more about if they wanted to work with you? I know you're a speaker and a coach. So just tell us a bit about that. Yeah, thank you. So Momentum Institute is at the MomentumInstitute.com. And I also have an app. It's totally free. And in there, there's a free course that has some videos and to help people really understand that unconscious protective system and how to work with it rather than against it. And the Mindset Game podcast, they can find it everywhere. They can go to themindsetgame.com. They can also go on YouTube and put my name, Barrett Kogan, and it'll come up or just a Mindset Game and it'll come up.

We've got about 200 and some episodes at this point. So lots of great resources around change and high performance, how to live our best life. So I would say those are the main ways. Love it. And could people find your app by just going to our app store and searching Momentum Institute, or is there a different way to find it? Yeah, great question. So they can just search for that on the app store, for example, if they're using Apple. So I'll just show you, I'm doing it right now. So Momentum Institute, well, I guess some of us are not using or not able to see, but it looks like this, Momentum Institute with that. Okay, perfect. And totally free. Like I said, it'll give them access to a course and some other things. Or they can email me directly, Varad, at MomentumInstitute.com. And I'm happy to.

Excellent. And do you have any final advice or thoughts for people as we close up today, Varad? Yeah. I want them to understand why this thing is called play. Because life is meant for us to just kind of play. When we let go of these over attachments, life is just so much easier. And 100% of the time when we, after we help these little unconscious parts of us be free of that protective, over-attached kind of behavior, they just go play, right? So my client, right, that part that I was feeling the regret, it's just now I can just go play. It's free. And so we are meant to play.

And just life is so much easier when we just allow things to come and welcome them and see everything as an invitation to go inward and grow. Thank you so much, Farid. I appreciate you and loved your beautiful message today. Thank you, Sindhya. I appreciate you too. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com.

See you next week.