High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 655: The KFG Formula with Krista Ryan, Speaker and Coach

Episode Date: December 27, 2024

Krista Ryan, PCC, is a highly sought-after business coach, facilitator, speaker, and Workplace Performance expert known for helping clients effectively navigate uncertainty and promoting collaboration, communication, and confidence. Her global clients include C-suite executives, startup entrepreneurs, individual contributors, elite athletes, and performers.  With nearly two decades of experience as a human resources director, Krista is the CEO and founder of KfG Coaching, LLC. She’s a Bravely Pro Coach and a Room Tilter with Limitless Minds, a mental conditioning organization that unites personal growth with business success through the power of neutral thinking. She is the author of the new book, Keep Fricking Going: A step-by-step guide to successfully navigate change.  In this episode, Cindra and Krista discuss:  The 3 steps of KFG The importance of accountability and awareness in success How to focus on the next best step How to take action towards who you want to become Ways she is using KFG to battle cancer right now    HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTA   REQUEST A FREE MENTAL BREAKTHROUGH CALL WITH DR. CINDRA AND/OR HER TEAM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MENTALLY STRONG INSTITUTE Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode.

Welcome to episode 655. This is your host, Dr. Cindra Kampoff, and thank you so much for joining me today for an interview with my good friend, Krista Ryan, a fellow speaker and coach. Today, we talk about her new book called Keep Freaking Going, A Step-by-Step Guide to Successfully Navigating Change. One of my favorite quotes from her book, when I read it, it was a mic drop moment for me, and she wrote, who is in charge, the thinker or the thought? I was like, oh my goodness, so good. Today in this interview, we talk about how Krista personally uses the KFG formula with her battle of cancer right now, and I think you'll find it inspiring and help you realize

that you can get through anything you're experiencing right now. Let me tell you a little bit about Krista before we dive into the interview. She is a sought-after business coach, a speaker, and facilitator. She's also known as a workplace performance expert, where she helps her clients successfully navigate uncertainty while also promoting collaboration, communication, and confidence. With nearly two decades of experience as a human resource director, Krista is the CEO and founder of KFG Coaching. She's also a Bravely Pro Coach and a room tilter with Limitless Minds, which is a mental conditioning organization that unites personal growth with business success through the power

of neutral thinking. In this episode, Chris and I talk about the three steps of KFG, how to focus on the next best step, and why that's so important. We also talk about the importance of accountability and awareness and success, and how to take action towards who you want to become this year. If you'd like to see the full show notes and description of this interview, you can head over to cindracampoff.com slash 655 for episode 655. Without further ado, let's bring on Krista Ryan. Krista Ryan, thank you so much for joining me here on the High Performance Mindset Podcast.

Thank you. I'm so excited to talk to you today. I'm excited to be here, Sindhra. So thank you for having me. I'm excited to connect with you and your listeners and your viewers. And yeah, this would be fun. It's going to be fun. And you just wrote a book called Keep Freaking Going. There we go. A step-by-step guide to successfully navigate change. Love the book cover and I love the book in general. And I'm really excited to talk to you about the book today. Maybe just get us started and tell us what KFG actually means. Yes, absolutely. So, you know, KFG, well, first of all, I never wanted to be an author. That's just the honest, I never ever had that on my life resume. I never thought

I would become an author. I don't actually enjoy the process of writing. I'm a speaker. I love to have conversations and talk. KFG, Keep Freaking Going is the name of the book. It stems from a motto, almost like a action plan that I created and I just started to talk through in 2017. So rewind a little bit. I was involved in a mass shooting.

So the Las Vegas mass shooting in 2017, myself, my husband, and some friends were out there and actually were involved in that mass shooting. So when I came home, I was already a mental performance coach and a speaker and a lot of individuals and clients and people just kept saying, you know, hey, Krista, what were you thinking that night? What was going through your head? And I started to communicate and said, you know, to be honest, going through my head was keep freaking going. You know, we were running for our lives and trying to survive that event.

When I say we, there was 22,000 of us that were in attendance at that event. 58 people did not make it home. So in my head, what I was seeing, what I was witnessing was keep freaking going, keep freaking going, keep running, do what you need to do to survive this event or this crisis moment. So that is where my book name comes from. What it stands for, Sindra, in the actual book is not keep freaking going. It is KSG. So I really KSG. I teach the KSG steps. What they stand for is K is know. That's meaning know where you're at. Be honest with yourself about what you're going through. F stands for focus, meaning focus on your next best step. How can you respond in this moment? What can you choose to do?

And then G is about action, go. So taking action, KFG. I love it. That's where it came from. And that's the birthplace of the KFG. I love it. And you do a great job of in the book, you know, talking about no focus and go, and we'll talk about those three steps a little bit more in depth today. And then, you know, it was a very powerful story to hear about you being at the mass shooting in 2017. And how, you know, just like what was actually going through your mind. You know, that I was at the Boston Marathon bombing. I wasn't, yeah, you know, and for me, it honestly just woke me up to my own purpose. And I wanted to speak and I wanted to do a podcast. I wanted to write a book. I wanted to work for the Minnesota

Vikings, you know, but all of that was like super scary. And it was after being at that bombing that it was like, you know, I go, I'm one life. Just, you know, can you, can you keep doing something every day that's courageous? What do you think the impact of being at the, the mass bombing shooting, I guess, shooting, not bombing. What do you think that impact was on for you personally when you got back? Exactly. You're spot on. You're, you're spot on. So I remember, Sindra, I don't have this in the book and I don't really talk about it, but I remember there was a moment that night, everything seemed black and white. Everything was almost slow motion. And all I could hear were the gunshots and see the people that had been shot and hurt. So I remember there was a moment where I almost asked or pleaded for the

higher power, whatever that may be. I remember thinking, okay, I see you. I feel you. If you help me get out of this and get home to my three children, I will live a more intentional life. I will stop coasting. I will live with meaning and purpose. And it was almost like my promise in that moment. Like I promise to do this if I'm given another shot. So honestly, it was like a pivotal turning point for me. And when I got home, let me be honest with you. That's when the hard work started, right? So we got out of there. We got another chance. We got home. I got really stuck. I got stuck in the victim mindset. I really went backwards to negativity because it's easy to do that. It's really easy to go negative. And I got really stuck. And it was like two years after being stuck that I finally remembered and started

to live intentionally. And I stopped being afraid, to be honest with you. I stopped, to your point, I started to tell myself, like, I'm not going to be scared of the big, scary dreams I have. I'm going to go for them because what's the worst that can happen is they don't happen. And that's okay. At least I'll give it a shot. So I almost stopped being afraid to live a courageous and intentional life and everything changed. So this event that is and was a breakdown really did become a breakthrough, but it was through hard work that that became true. And one of the reasons I wanted to write this book is because I don't want people to have to experience a bombing like you did or a mass shooting like I did.

I want them to understand that they can KFG and live a life of purpose and intention without having a massive crisis, chaotic breakdown. You know, they can they can make that choice ahead of time, which I wasn't. I was comfortable in coasting. Sure. Well, and, you know, because it takes a lot of courage to go after big dreams, it's much easier to stay in your comfort zone. And I love what you said, Krista, a breakdown became a breakthrough. You know, Bill George wrote a book on authentic leadership called True North.

And he actually calls these moments crucible moments where like everything changes in our life. I think you and I both had a crucible moment in a really difficult experience. And, you know, one of the reasons I wanted to have you on the podcast was like how inspiring you have been for me recently. And you recently spoke at our chapter meeting for the National Speakers Association and you shared a current KFG moment that you're going through. Tell us about that KFG moment right now. Yeah. So it's really funny because after I wrote this book, my publishing company went bankrupt, right? And I kind of went backwards and got stuck, I kind of was like, well, it was me. I was so close to the end, you know, and that was a catchy moment. Then May of this, the 2024, it was four days before my son,

who was 18, graduated high school. I received a phone call from my primary doctor and I was diagnosed with stage three rectal cancer. This came out of complete left field. I'm one of the really rare individuals that had no signs or symptoms of having cancer. It was only through a conversation with a friend who is navigating colorectal cancer that I started to think like, huh, I have a bubbly stomach. I have weird digestion. I've had that for years. I thought I was maybe sensitive to gluten or dairy. And she just kind of shared her journey and her story with her diagnosis. And I heard a whisper and it's almost like I heard this, this little whisper of Krista, just go get checked out. Even though you don't have any of those big, crazy, scary symptoms,

just go get checked out. Now I was 44 at the time, which is before the age that they recommend a colonoscopy and all that kind of thing. So I had to really advocate for myself, Sindra, and my primary ordered a blood test and then ordered the colonoscopy and they found a tumor. So they actually think that I've had this cancer for up to seven, seven to 10 years. It's been slowly growing. It's a very silent cancer, colorectal. And after I was diagnosed with that, so funny stories, I was diagnosed at the hair salon. So I was getting highlights put in my hair and I was diagnosed and I, I walked to the bathroom and I made my doctor say, you know, I need you to say the words to me so I'm fully understanding that this is true and I'm not creating a false narrative in my head that

I have cancer. I need you to say the words. And she said the words to me. And then I was like, okay, now I understand. And I got off the phone and I took probably five to seven minutes of pause and just deep breathing. And I started working through the KFG steps, the steps that I wrote about, the steps that took me two years to process and really navigate. And Sindra, it was very clear to me that I wrote this book for my future self. I really did. Because since my diagnosis, I've been KFGing every single day. And there's some good days and there's some bad days. But I go back to the basics. You know, I know where you're at. Focus on how you can respond in this moment and go. What's your next best step? And sometimes the next best step is to slow down and to take care of yourself. So it's been a life-changing

event for me. You know, I honestly was naive and thought that my hardest life moment would be the mass shooting. I was very wrong. It was so far being diagnosed with this cancer. It's really scary when you're faced with... Of course it is. Yeah, it's really scary when you're faced with, yeah, it's really scary when you're faced with, you know, the unknown of what the future holds. And it's really easy to go negative and start to fantasize about, you know, I have three kids, you know, what if I, what if I don't pull through this? How are they going to do? And you start to get into that slippery slope, you know, and then I'd just go right back to K, know what the true facts are, you know, know, are you creating false stories, focus on how you can respond in this moment and go. So it is such a gift. And I'm so grateful that I'm going through this right now and that it was chosen for me because I'm getting stronger through this whole journey. I really am. I'm becoming a stronger human being, a stronger mom, a stronger wife, a stronger daughter, a stronger friend, a stronger individual that can

learn how to love myself differently. So it's just become the biggest blessing where it easily could have been the largest breakdown of my life. Absolutely. And, you know, I guess at the end, when you're talking about, you know, grateful that this happened to you and because you're stronger, I think people were going through really difficult moments in their life like cancer. That's actually really hard. You know, it takes daily intention to be in the in the mindset that's going to be helping you flourish because it's so easy to get in the victim in the mindset that's going to be helping you flourish. Cause it's so easy to get in the victim mindset. Right. And I think, I appreciate what you said about the no, it's like the false stories and the slippery slope and then the overthinking and the ruminating.

And then all of a sudden you don't want to get out of bed because you're, you're worried about, you know, leaving your kids and all this stuff. So how have you caught yourself really to not go down into the victim mindset? Oh, I mean, it's, that's a powerful question because it's so easy to have happen. Like, and I would be very, very false and untrue to self if I was saying it didn't happen almost on the daily, almost on the day I have to catch myself, you know, and say like, hold on now is what I'm telling myself actual truth or these moments that I'm like creating based on other situations or other individuals journeys. You know, it's really easy to start comparing your story to someone else's. Um, the one thing I do to catch myself is I lean on others for support. You know, I'm very open and honest with my family.

Since day one, my children were, I told, I came home, I drove home and I told my husband face to face what was going on. And it was almost like silent shock, you know, like you just don't even know how to respond when someone that you love says I have cancer and they had no symptoms or signs of it. So then after that, we decided that we're going to wait three days to tell our kids because we wanted to get my son through his graduation for high school and have him focused on that. We wanted to have his graduation party with all of our friends and family coming to our house without having this

heavy weight of this early diagnosis, you know, on, on everyone's mind. So it was just my husband and I that knew this crazy old thing. That's hard. It was so, that was really hard because that was the time that I did want to just break down and sob and cry and cry and cry. And it was hard not to look at my son enjoying those moments and thinking like, oh man, I hope I get so many more of these. I have no idea where I'm at in this journey. I hope, you know, all the, all the falsifying fantasies that kind of are created and they're really intense and emotional. But what I did right away as I reached out to my husband and said, here's what I need. If you hear me starting to create these stories that are like scary and dark and have no truth to them. I need your help. You know, and right away he'd say like, he'd say, Hey, I see that you're feeling down or sad. Let's talk

through this right now. What's going on? Then I'd start saying like, Oh, I'm, I'm sad thinking like, what if, what if this is the last or what if he'd say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're early on in this. We have no idea. Like, let's just get to the first exam. Let's get to that first scan. Let's get to, you know. So using others to support syndra has been absolutely crucial in this process. A hundred percent. Because sometimes we're too close to it. We don't even see how we're sabotaging ourselves. Yeah. And you know, what I'm hearing is just like, what an incredible opportunity to practice what you preach, right? Not only practice the KFG, but you're also a performance coach and you coach others. And it is hard. You know, we're not perfect as coaches and we can easily get in our own way.

And you're right. Sometimes it's much easier to give other people advice or help them get unstuck than it is to help ourselves get unstuck. Oh, absolutely. And that goes back to my Las Vegas. I was a fraud to myself for two years after that experience because I was going out and helping organizations and employees and executives. And then I was coming home and sabotaging myself. I was leaning on the bottle of wine. I was leaning on sad music. I was isolating where I'm a really, it's really important for me to be around other people that fills me up and it really fulfills me. And I was doing the opposite. So I learned what doesn't support me through that shooting in Las Vegas. And so when this second kind of crisis moment hit,

I immediately knew, I don't know what I am going to do, but I sure as heck know what I'm not going to do. And I'm not going to lean on, you but I sure as heck know what I'm not going to do. And I'm not going to lean on, you know, the bottle of wine and I'm not going to lean on isolation Island. I'm not going to ball up because all of those are my toxic traits. And those are my triggers that take me backwards. And I know that about myself because I've done this to myself before. So it was one of those like, nope, I accept this challenge and I know what I'm not going to do. So that was a huge, huge piece of the process too. How have you looked to find more of like this grateful mindset? Because, you know, it's one

thing to like not get stuck in the victim mode, but when you just said like, I'm grateful that this has happened and I'm so much stronger, How have you how have you taken that perspective every day? Like, what's been your process to do that? Oh, you can start small. And some days I have to. Some days I am a victim and I'm choosing that. And I also give myself grace where like, OK, today's a bad day. I'm feeling down.

I'm not going to force myself through this emotion too quickly because then I'm not being true to myself. I'm going to have a pity party today, but I'm going to make sure that I don't waste more than one day having this pity party because it doesn't serve me. It's not helping me. It's not helping my family. So some days I would legit just have to think or write down like, I am grateful for the sunshine. I am grateful for the snow. I would have to find something very, very small. And it's a, it's a false myth that you have to find gratitude in huge things, right? Like life. I'm grateful I'm alive today. I'm grateful, you know, for a clean scan. I'm grateful for good blood work and labs. But for those of us or those of you or your listeners, if they're going through

something where they keep having kind of these knockdown moments, like, okay, well, Krista, you know, is grateful for that because things are working out in her favor. Well, if things aren't working in your favor, you can still force yourself to find the gratitudes. And sometimes it's not easy. Sometimes you have to be grateful for a cup of water. Like not everyone has a cup of water, you know, so it's finding those little gratitudes and they do support you mentally and emotional and they become addicting. The more gratitudes you force yourself to find, the easier it is to find them. So what you seek, you know, you will find. If you're looking for negatives or if you're speaking negatives,

you're going to find more negatives. If you're forcing yourself to find gratitudes, you're just going to find more gratitude. Absolutely. And when I think about just seeing your progression, you know, we met several years ago. I was speaking. You came up to me afterwards. And then, you know, just our friendship has grown from there. And we get to go to a lot of the same speaker events and things like that. But like, I see you operating at such a higher energy level, like a higher frequency. Right. And in my world, we might call this like level six or level seven energy, you know, and you were you had positive and empowering energy before, but it might've been more like level four, you know? And so, I think it's just really inspiring because we might not be going through cancer, but we're all going through something hard. You know, that's maybe it's, you know, something about your career or your business or your family or your health. Like, you know, there's so many things that art cannot be perfect. Yeah. And there's so many hard moments. There really are. Like I'm connected and a very close friends with a gentleman that just lost his adult son in August to a heat stroke. And the way that he's KFG and really working hard to not get stuck and to honor the legacy of his child is just humbling,

you know? And so sometimes we fall into those like, whew, okay, that's a hard moment. Your comparison story. Every single one of us is navigating a KFG. Every single one of us. I mean, whether it's a loss of a job, the loss of a pet, that's an emotional moment. It could be a flat tire on the way to work, Sindra. You know, there's a lot of these moments that pop up in our life. We're all navigating them. But one of the greatest lessons learned through all of this is the power in together. So on the weeks that were tough for me, and this is a true story,

I was kind of in a slump where I was feeling like day four of feeling really down. And I'm like, I got to shake myself out of this. What can I do? What can I do? Number one, I reach out for others for support, like a phone call with a friend, you know, or a coffee meetup with a friend. The second thing that I found even more impactful and beneficial was I volunteered at our local Ronald McDonald house to serve a dinner and just getting around other people that were navigating a KFG moment

and being in service to them where it was not about me. It never is about us. I truly believe that we're here to serve others and getting in front of those little children that are so resilient, that are so, they're talking about, they're so excited about their new snow boots. They're so excited about the peanut butter and jelly sandwich they had for lunch. They're full of life and energy, regardless of what they're going through. It was a humbling moment that reminded me like, all right, that was me snapping out of it, being in service of others. It's crucial, I think, to our survival and to us allowing ourselves to become our best version.

And you don't have to go out and volunteer at your local Ronald McDonald chapter house. You can go to the gas station and hold the door open for someone and tell them to have a nice day. And you will feel it shift in your body. You will see a change, a light in their eyes, you know, brighten up. It is the power of connection. And it's so important when we're navigating any kind of bump in the road or change. Thank you just for sharing this, you know, how you've been coping with it. When I'm speaking to sports teams, I'll say like one of the best ways to get out of your head is to turn your attention to someone else on your team, like cheer them on. You know, we use this WAVE acronym to talk about like actually how to do that. But I think you're

exactly spot on that. It's like, all right, how can I serve others? How can I turn my attention outward? So I'm not in this victim mindset. Hi, this is Cyndra Campoff. And thanks for listening to the High Performance Mindset. Did you know that the ideas we share in the show are things we actually specialize in implementing? If you want to become mentally stronger, lead your team more effectively and get to your goals quicker. Visit freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call with one of our certified coaches. Again, that's freementalbreakthroughcall.com to sign up for your free call. Talk to you soon. Krista, let's talk a little bit about, like more deeply about KFT so people can kind of just learn

more about how they can practice it. And I wrote some notes about when I was going through your book, right? And I wrote, know, you have to know where you are so you can figure out where you're going. And then you really include awareness and accountability in this no step. How are these parts of no and just kind of tell us what more about that? Yeah, so no, it kind of debunks all the things that we were raised to believe, right? So I was raised and I was growing up thinking like smile, fake it till you make it. You know, if you can just push through, don't, you know, hold in those tears, tough through it. I think that's all a bunch of junk, to be honest with you. And it really can cause a lot of internal anxieties and breakdowns.

And when we go through hard stuff, there is such an importance in being honest with your true self and saying, you know, I'm not going to fake it till I make it. I'm having a hard moment here and being vulnerable and honest, not just with yourself, but with for others around you. So they can see that and know like you're going through something, you're going through a mess and it's okay. It's okay. So awareness is just really being aware of where you are and not faking it till you make it. You know, your body knows the difference, Cintra, and not faking it till you make it. You know, your body knows the difference, Indra, and it will catch up to you. It absolutely will catch up to you. There was a study done actually that people that get stuck in this, you know, falsified or victim mindset and people that get really stuck for a long time likely get stuck

because they were already there. So if you can't figure out how to support yourself and get unstuck and hold yourself accountable, then the next challenge, because as long as we're living on this earth, we're always going to have challenge and change and KFG moments. But the next one will just pound on top, right? It'll just compile on top of your first one. It doesn't go away. It doesn't replace it. It just adds to it.

So it's almost like the faster we can learn to reset, the better we are for our future. We're setting us up for success for our futures. So awareness and then the accountability piece of the very first knowing where you're at chapter is don't ever let someone else have the control of fixing your life. And, and when I say that, I, I really dialed in after Las Vegas, after the shooting and I judged and compared the way my husband was healing from that

to the way I was healing from it. So I was in therapy. I was in PTSD therapy. I was, you know, reading every self-help book and podcast I could possibly come across to better myself and increase my chance of getting through that. But at the same time, I was judging him and saying, you're not doing this. And so you're doing it wrong and I'm doing it the right way. And what that was doing is our marriage was going like this and it was separating. It was dividing us. And I quickly realized and through the help of my own executive coach, he said, Krista, what gives you the right to judge someone on the way they choose to live their life. And that was like a really hard lesson for me to learn. Like the only person I have accountability for and control over

is myself. And I was really focused on the way he was choosing to heal and navigate. And it was, it was sabotaging us. So when I detached myself from that and thought okay I'm accountable for myself and that's it period and everyone else is accountable for themselves it was a instrumental moment in my life to really allow me forgiveness and peace and an accountability for only my own action and the way I choose to respond. Thanks just for your honesty there, because I think we can all relate that it's easy to judge ourselves or judge other people. And there's a part in that no section that there's a statement I'm going to repeat that I read it and I was like, my brain just exploded. And you said,

who's in charge, the thinker or the thought? And I was like, mic drop moment, you know, because I thought, isn't this so true that we let the thought be in charge of the thinker instead of the thinker is us being in charge of a thought and taking a step back and saying, what do I really want to believe here? And you've talked a lot about like false stories and not really the truth and kind of getting in the circle of judgment. Yes. Yes. Colin Henderson was the first one that approached me with that whole concept of who's in charge here, the thinker or the thought. And I was like, it was one of those like deep moments of, huh, like I've never thought about it before that you get to control. Like hold on now. I don't want to think this way. It's going to bring me negative.

I get to choose to almost like pick out my thoughts. Like we pick out our food. Like we can choose healthy food or junk food. We can choose healthy thoughts or junk thoughts. It's a choice. We get to make that choice. Yeah. So that is the first step

in the whole process and here's here's the sneaky thing cinderella you can't skip over it like i tried to i'm like yeah have the awareness i'm actually not totally accountable for myself i'm gonna give that to making sure my husband makes me happy my family makes me happy that my friends are supporting me that no no no, no, no, no. That's giving the power to someone else. So having the power to yourself and being courageous and saying, you know, Hey, Hey, Sindra, I'm feeling down right now. It would really probably benefit me.

Would you like to go out for coffee? That's you being accountable and not being like, Sindra hasn't reached out to me in two weeks. And you know, she knows I'm going through something hard. That's not being accountable. That's blaming and complaining. And that is the number one kind of sign that you are stuck

is if you are blaming or complaining. It's a place to go back to the basics. There's a section in the book when you're talking about the no part, right? That's what we're focusing on right now in our conversation. I really liked this exercise called SOS, Strategies for Success. And I thought it could just help people when they're trying to work on their accountability and their awareness.

So tell us a little bit about this exercise and how might you suggest that we use it? So throughout the book, that was one of my fun little accountability things. I'm a huge accountability freak. I love to be like, okay, you can say that, but I want to see you actually walk the walk, not just talk the talk. So through the book, there's SOS exercises at the end of each chapter slash step, no focus go. And I love including those because it does hold us all accountable for making sure that we know exactly where we're at, if we're ready to move on to the next step, or if we're not, it's okay. There's no blame. There's no judgment. Then you just go back and

rework the formulas. So at the end of each chapter, there is little fun, little games for SOS. And that just helps support all of us to keep effing going, keep freaking going one step after the other. Love it. So tell us a bit about focus. And in the step two of focus, you said focus on determining the next step to take, the one needed to get you from where you are now to where you want to go, and then you include value and intention in the focus. Tell us a little bit about, you know, why these two components of focus, value and intention. Yeah, so that's the second step. This is, you know, this is me investigating myself and a lot of hundreds and hundreds of other people that are navigating changes.

So if you've made it through the first step of knowing where you're at, right. And you can say, I have awareness of what I'm going through. I'm not faking it and I'm not pretending it's not happening and also accountable for myself and making sure I can live my best life. You know, like going back to what you said before, how you decided, I want to live a life of create, you know, courage, purpose. That was you navigating this no step of accountability and awareness. So once you're on the other side of that, then it's time to anchor into your focus. And that means to your point, intention and values. So as I started to research and myself and others, I found that so oftentimes we know the values of the organization that we work with. They're on the walls,

they're in the pamphlet, they're in our workbooks, they're all over. We talk about them at team meetings. But what we don't know is if someone were to say, Sindhra, tell me what your top two values are. What are yours as a human being? I would say 92% of us had no idea. Right. They haven't thought about it or at least, you know, haven't chosen values for sure. Yes. I mean, it's not something that's ever thought through.

And sometimes the knee jerk is like family and love. It's like's like, okay, hold on now. Like, let's just really think about this. You know, I know family and love are important. Of course they are. But what are the values that really make you the best human being that you can possibly be? What are those? And are you living by them? So my values are joy and connection. So if I am connecting with others, if I am connecting through conversations, through coffee dates, lunch dates, phone calls, you know, workshops, speaking on stage, if I'm connecting with people and I'm feeling a sense of joy or bringing joy to others, my cup is as full to the brim it can possibly be. And then I'm a better mom, parents, you know, all things. Family and love are absolutely important to me, but my values are joy and connection.

When I was navigating the change from the Las Vegas mass shooting. And oftentimes through this cancer journey, I have to ask myself, am I staying true to my values, joy and connection? And many times I'll be like, okay, joy. I haven't felt a lot of that lately. Connection. I'm really not reaching out to others. What can I do? What can I do right now to get back into those values? And that would be

the action part of it. Like, okay, I can volunteer at my local, you know, Ronald McDonald house. I can go out and give a little gift basket to a close friend or client that's been really important to me. So getting back to making sure that you're staying true to your values will support you in navigating any change. But oftentimes we have no idea what our values even are. So how can we be our best selves when there's just that block where we're not sure? I think about how people can actually do that. You know, there's so many different value exercises you can do where you could just like google this and you could find a list of values and even choose you know two or three like what i like to

do trist i always called you trista because uh there's actually somebody who who supports our house called her name is trista she was our kids name and gave it up call me whatever you want i've been called much worse trista krista um uh i say her name every day. So there you go, multiple times a day. But anyway, what I was going to say is, you know, I like defining each of the values in, you know, the, even if it's just like, I have my values over here on my grid board, and I have them defined, like anytime I, so one of them is courage. Another one is contribution. And another one is love. And it says like, for example, under love is like anytime I love myself, my family, my clients, anytime I show you love, Krista, anytime I show love for myself, anytime I

remember I'm loved, anytime I smile and connect with those that I love. You know, like how have you chosen your values or how might you suggest someone else who's listening choose their values? I love this question because it's my favorite exercise. So it's in the book and I also love doing it for my keynotes and my workshops and it's called The Mirror. And what I encourage someone that's just like, I have no idea where to start with my values. I have no clue. I get it. I was you. I understand. What the mirror is, is I would consider or I would challenge you to think about the one person, and this is just one, one person in your life that has made the greatest impact. Now it could be someone in the past, someone currently, a friend, a family member, a coworker, a mentor, someone that

has made the greatest impact in your life. And I had, you know, just think about that, write their name down, write their name down if you can. And then what I want you to think about is why did they make such a great impact? You know, in one or two, maybe three bullet points of why they made such a great impact. And then this is the fun, emotional, beautiful part is oftentimes. And when I say oftentimes, I'm talking in the 90 percentile, the person's name that you just wrote down, they hold the same values that are within you. That is why they are so important in making that impact in your life. That is why they have literally shaped who you are as a human being. And oftentimes, when we start to really look at that and be grateful for that person and the values that

they withhold, oftentimes it's easier to see that in someone else than it is to see in ourselves. But when we say like my person of impact that I would write down is my grandmother and he, she was full of joy. I mean, her greatest moments were when we're all connected and she just lived her life in a joyous way. She went through pancreatic cancer and she was just a boss through the whole thing, cracking everyone up, smiling, making sure that she connected with people. She wanted to make sure that she told them, not just like, you know, showed them and told them how much they meant to her. And when I started to look at her name and the values that she withheld, I was like, me too. That's, that's my importance.

That's how you're showing up right now. And it's because her values, they mirror mine, my values mirror hers. So it's, it's so much easier to see that in someone else than ourselves. But, but that person, I love to say, just hold up the name and look at it. You're looking at your own values. Many, many, many times you're looking at your own values. So, and then I love're looking at your own values. So and then I love to add the little gratitude piece. If they're still with us, send them a message. Let them know how much they mean to you because that is so important.

Thank you for saying that and sharing that mirror test. When I think about mine, I just wrote my person of impact has been my dad. And I wrote he loved me regardless of mistakes or disappointments, you know, or what I did. And, but he also like pushed me. Um, he's not very, he's not really judgmental at all. Like he's accepting of, of everybody. Right. But he pushed me to like, help me be my best. And I think my achiever, uh, is very, comes a lot from my dad. And just like my way I want to like contribute and I want to make my life matter to other people or help other support other people. Right. So I can see even as I say that to you, that it's reflected in many of the values I wrote down for myself. A hundred percent. When you talk

through your values before of family, courage, contribution, that you just talked through your father, that's exactly what he did for you. And it's just beautiful. I mean, it's just beautiful. And, and I love the exercise because we don't talk about these people enough in our life. You know, I don't, we don't talk about the impact they make. And when we do, and we start to do it, then we just connect at a deeper level. Then all of a sudden we're like, woo, I know you. I know why you are who you are. And it's because of this other individual. What a gift. Yeah. Thank you. I'm going to encourage everyone who's listening to follow what Krista just said of like thinking about that mirror test and then writing that down,

uh, and you know, like the person's name and what values that they, they really exhibit and send them a note or a column. Yeah. And if they're no longer with, with us speak their impact that they had on you to someone else. Oh, it's so beautiful because then what you're doing is you're keeping their legacy alive. And Sindra, what a beautiful gift. Can you imagine? My dream, my hope is that my name would be for someone to say, you know what? Like maybe my children will be that person of impact is my mom. Like what a gift. If we could pay that forward, that's what life is about. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Wow. So KFT, we talked about know, focus, and go. And the last part, the go is to take action and go, take a step forward towards who you want to become. Tell us a bit more about that action, how we can actually

do that after we know and focus. So the G, the go step is you're ready to do it. Everyone knows, okay, I know who I am. I know where I'm at. I know I have been through. I'm accountable for myself. I know what my values are. I can show up with an intention. You know, I can do this.

But then we still are scared to death to do it. We're scared to death to take that action because we start to be like, but what if it doesn't work? But what if I fail? But what if? And that's where I encourage everyone to have a reset, right? That is where you go. You know what? No reset. I can do this. My reset's KFG. When I find myself being like, okay, I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm Asian. KFG, Krista, go, just go. You got this. And if you don't, you're going to learn a lesson. And what a gift. You know, we're not supposed to be perfect. We're not supposed to get it right on the first try.

But what we can do is we can take action. We can give it our best shot, knowing that we built up the stepping stones to support us from the KF and now it's G time. And if we don't succeed, guess what? Life, life is about doing it again. Try it again. Reset. So I have, I have many resets. One of them is a rock my grandmother gave and I hold that. That's a reset. I can feel it in my hand. It's, it says actually poop in the pool because that was our family motto from her. And when things wouldn't go our way, and it was based on my brother and I swimming in a swimming pool. The lifeguards, when we were younger, the lifeguards blew the whistle, had us get out, and there was the dreaded words poop in the pool. So we freaked out. The way we responded was like

panic. Everything was going downhill. And my grandmother you know, everything was, you know, going downhill. And my grandmother said like, hold on. It's just poop in the pool. Rinse it off and move on. And that became our family's reset. That's all. That's all. Poop in the pool.

Poop in the pool. And I kid you not, her last words. So when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, I was at the appointment with her and she said, poop in the pool. What do we do next? Reset. Like she wasn't going to get stuck. Like poop in the pool. What do we do? Tell me what we do. Surgery. Okay, let's go. So that was her reset. And she gifted that reset to our family. The night before she passed away, my mother and I were in the room with her and she was in a lot of pain. So she was on some medication and whatnot. And she was very, I mean, very, very quiet, hardly audible, but she was whispering poop in the pool. My mom looked at me and said, is she saying what I think she's saying? And I said, you bet she is. It's her reset. She's gifting it to us. I have the rock now that says poop in the pool.

Anytime I need to reset or a reminder, I grab it and hold it. Like, I got this. I can rinse it off and move on. We can, you know, we can do hard things. So I would encourage everybody, all your listeners, everyone to create a reset. So what things? Don't go according to plan because they never will, right? When you think you got it all figured out, you're going to

have to reset and do it again. So the faster we can learn to reset, the better off we are. And I know you know this so well because you coach people through this. Like what's your reset? You know, I, I've seen it on the, on the football fields, your, your people. I see the place setting. And that doesn't come by accident. You have to be intentional about creating a reset that works for you. Make it emotional. Make it individual. You know, poop in the pool won't work for everyone because it's not their story. But create your reset that you'll not forget. You can anchor in and that can keep you moving in the right direction. Thank you so much for sharing that story about your grandma. And I love the idea of having like

a reset phrase in your home. I think ours would be burn it. You know, I have to tell you this story. For the first time two weeks ago, I got to speak in front of one of my sons. And so I was speaking at a quarterback camp that he's a part of. And I was teaching them. First of all, I was really nervous because my son was in the audience. I was like, these are just like high school quarterbacks. Cinderella, why are you so nervous? You know, I was just like,

someone you love so deeply is going to be judging you. I get you understand it. And then, you know, you want them to say like, yeah, that's my mom. Instead of like, oh, you know, you know, that's my mom instead of like oh you know you know that's my mom you know what do you do like oh boy i was teaching them this tool called learn burn return from my book beyond grit and it's all about like when you make a mistake or you're in a in you know you're disappointed or you're ruminating to learn what what do you what do you got to do differently next time but then burn it and so the burn it is just like a reset phrase or action and then return like how can you return confidently building yourself back up and so our phrase in our family is like burn it right or we say that fast

and uh anyway uh the quarterback coach came up to blake uh during practice after when i after i spoke and he said um you know blake i bet, I bet you've heard of all these things in your house. You know, you probably practiced them a lot. And he goes, yeah, I've been learning burn and return since I came out of the womb. That is awesome. Oh, that is so, it's actually kind of funny because he does, he is able to move on more quickly than other kids his age. But I was like, so yeah, that was the honor. Yeah, it is.

And you it's so fun. One of the one of the greatest places I had to watch it was during the Olympics. You can see athletes and it's athletes are a really good place to observe this happening but like you can see them do the deep breath you can see you know in tennis in golf in football in whatever sport you can tell the athletes that are on the field displaying that they reset they're ready to go they're not going to get stuck in what just happened what didn't work but they're moving forward they're they're ready go. And then there's other athletes that are still thinking about that last shot that didn't go in. And yeah, and you can tell, you can tell, and it affects the next one. Guess what? The next one

didn't go on either because they're still thinking about what didn't work. So it's, it's crucial. It's so important to have a reset and forgive yourself as fast as possible because we're human. We're not supposed to be. Absolutely. You know, and I think that was the hardest thing for me was I had made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've done a million and I'm going to make a million more. But the faster we can learn, burn, return, right, and reset, forgive ourselves the faster we can move on and be like, all right, I'm not going to do that next time. I'm going to try something different. Let's

go. Absolutely. Thank you for saying that, Krista. So if you had the world's attention for just a minute or two, what message would you give to everyone? Oh, I only get a minute or two. You don't have to speak first for me. We'll say five minutes, whatever. Whatever. But what do you think that message would be? I think number one is, I think the most important one that I've learned in my life is it's never been about me. It's never, ever. Our lives are never about us. It's about we. We can try to get through stuff alone. We can try to like, I can power through this. I don't need help. It's never been about you. You're not supposed to do this alone. We're not supposed to figure out this life alone.

No part of it are we supposed to do it individually. We are so much stronger together. We are so much better together. We are supposed to navigate the breakdowns, the joys, the challenges, the changes, everything together. And when we decide to kind of like surrender to the idea that we can do this alone and we can be perfect and we don't need help, when we can surrender to that, everything gets better. When we can be honest and vulnerable and surrender and just lean into others, that is truly what life is about. It's never me. It's always been about we. And I think if I had learned that earlier and not tried to do it all myself, I think that would have been amazing. And so that's what I'm trying to instill in those I love. And kind of my why is just to inspire others.

Please don't do this alone. It's never been, you know, you're not supposed to. We are in this together. That's why I'm honored to be here today with you. I know. Thank you so much. I, you know, I just want to honor you, Krista, for your vulnerability and your openness to talk about your journey and just like how much you have inspired everyone listening to help them be able to navigate through tough things. And I think to myself, if Krista Ryan can do it,

I can do it, right? If she's like taking an optimistic perspective when she has cancer, like I can get through this really hard thing. So I just want to say thank you for being here. Thank you for really sharing with us, you know, just being open about your journey and sharing with us like the KFG formula, but also like how you've been using it. So tell us how people can get your book and just more about how people can follow along with you. Yeah. So you can find my book at your favorite bookstore, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or directly off my website. So kristaryan.com is the easiest and best way to stay connected to me. I've got a newsletter that goes out mindful Mondays. I do a lot of fun little

perks for my followers on that. So discounts off my book and all things like that, but please reach out. Also I'm collecting KFG stories. So if any of your listeners have their own KFG story, my purpose is to inspire and impact others. So please share it at mykfgstory.com. And I'm partnered with a local news station where we share stories and we connect others with others and we just inspire others to live their best life. So I would love to hear from any of your listeners or viewers about their own KFG story as well, because we are more alike than different. Absolutely. So you got to go pick up Krista's book called Keep Freaking Going, a step-by-step guide to successfully navigate change. What final advice would you have for us, Krista? Love each other. Love each other. Life

can feel heavy and hard. The holidays, I know we're kind of getting through them. We're starting off fresh 2025. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. And never, ever stop trying. Keep freaking going no matter what. Don't give up. And just, we got this. We can do hard things.

Thank you, Krista. Thank you, Sindra. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes. And to join my exclusive community for high performers,

where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can add over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. See you next week.