High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 69: Let Go of Comparison

Episode Date: September 15, 2016

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt Comparison makes us feel like we are never enough. We are never good enough. Smart enough. Powerful enough. Thin enough. Athletic enough. Successful enough. Strong enough. Certain enough. Extraordinary enough. Perfect enough. Fast enough. Comparison is trap. Comparison can spin us into a tail-chasing frenzy of self-doubt. Comparison negatively impacts our motivation at work and in sport and decreases our passion and zest to go after our goals. Comparison interferes with our ability to be and stay gritty. In this episode, Cindra talks about what to do instead of comparing our self to someone else, and why it’s so important to stay focused on “your lane.” Affirmation this Week: I pursue my standard of excellence. I stay focused on my lane and my progress. I work to be my best one step at a time.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Let's talk to Sindra Kampoff in studio with us for High Performance Mindset today. Good morning, Sindra. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me. Good to have you back in. These summer vacations we've all had and these weird Monday holidays have kind of kept us from... We got the band back together. I was going to say it's

kept us from being regular, but that doesn't make any sense and it's kind of awkward. That's your own fault, TJ. Yeah, I know. There's certain things I can take for that. Activia is one of them. But yeah, so it's good to have you back in today and before we dive too far into our conversation quick, I want to get an update on the book because you were almost done.

You were going into the editing process. Where are we at there? It's all so exciting. It is done. Is it? It is done. Yay! So what happens? What's the next step? When do we get the signed copy? So the next step is, it's in the editing phase right now. So I have no idea how long that's

going to take. It's going to be just interesting for me to see. It's in someone else's hands then. Yeah. How does that feel? It feels really awesome in terms of, you know, just I have been working

really, really hard on it. Do you get nervous about turning it over to an editor because what kind of changes are they going to make and is that going to affect the final vision of your book?

Yes, absolutely. The good thing is I do have a choice on, you know, what I accept and what I don't. The good thing is that I do have a choice on what I accept and what I don't. The crazy thing is I wrote way too much. So not what I expected. So we're having to cut a significant amount, but that's alright. It'll make it

tighter for you guys when you read it and make it more interesting. And leave more stuff for book two. Yeah, there we go. I would think that I would prefer, and I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to have too much and have to cut it than not have enough and have to try to write more to fill it. And that would just, you know, like you said, it messes with the vision of the book. Really excited about it. Cool. Well, today's topic is let go of comparison. What do you mean by that? I love this quote. Yeah, the quote is my favorite quote too. It's

Theodore Roosevelt said, comparison is a thief of joy. People who focus on others struggle to reach their greatness or their greater potential. And the one picture that I think made this really clear to surround the world was a picture this year during the Olympics of the South African swimmer Chad LaClos. And he was looking at Michael Phelps during

the 200 meter butterfly. And the picture we saw was Phelps focused forward, LaClos had his head saw, you know, was Phelps focused forward. LaClos had his head turned at the next lane at Phelps. And when I was looking into this more, I found out that LaClos actually looked at Phelps five times during the race. So even though LaClos had beaten Phelps like four years earlier, like he swam really poorly, kind of just crumbled under the pressure.

And if Phelps won the race, LaClos got eighth. earlier, like he swam really poorly, kind of just crumbled under the pressure. And if Phelps won the race, LaClos got eighth. And so after the race, like I was watching this and the reporters and commentators were sort of like floored that LaClos performed so poorly. You know, they were like, they just couldn't explain it. For some reason, LaClos didn't medal. But for some reason, LaClos was focused on Phelps instead of racing his best and really being at his best. And you could even see this,

like the pictures that kind of went viral were like in the ready room when Laclose was only focused on Phelps and he was kind of like jabbing and shadow boxing and peacocking, right? And then I was watching, even as they went on the blocks, Laclose was watching Phelps the whole time,

whereas Phelps just turned us back to LaClos. And my point is that it's easy to get caught up in the competition. Take your eyes off the road or the lane in front of you or your goals. It's easy to not stay focused on the process. It's easy to compare yourself or your performance to others instead of focusing on your improvement from yesterday. And I think it's easy because we live in a culture obsessed with comparison. That is very true.

Yes. So a question for us to consider today then. You know, the question I have is, have you shifted your eyes towards other people's achievements or things? Or have you shifted your eyes towards your competition? And how is this practice impacting your happiness and your performance? So how do you see us comparing ourselves to others? Like you said, it happens all the time every day. Yeah, it happens all the time. I see us comparing ourselves, like our appearances,

our businesses, our number of friends, our athletic ability, our families, what we see on Facebook or Twitter, you know, the belongings of other people. In sport, we compare our goals, you know, maybe the times we scored, the sport, we compare our goals, you know, maybe the times we scored, the times we run. We all do this. I think we do this to evaluate ourselves and our place in the world. But the problem is we don't really do it in a fair way. We compare, you know, others highlight reel to our behind the scenes reel, or we compare our beginnings to someone else's middle or endings. So why does this become such a problem? Because, you know, it just leads us to believing that we're never enough.

You know, like not good enough, not smart enough, powerful enough, extraordinary enough, perfect enough, successful enough, rich enough, fast enough, whatever, you fill in the blank. And, you know, it's just a trap. It just spins us into kind of this tail frenzy, self-doubt. And what the research shows is that it leads to anxiety, depression, low confidence, and judgment. So it interferes with our motivation and our grit. So what do we do instead of comparing ourselves?

Or when we catch ourselves comparing ourselves to others? I say, you know, the happiest and most successful people, they take pleasure in other people's successes. They don't show concern when other people fail. They don't celebrate other people's failures. So I think the less attention we can pay to others around us, the higher performer we'll be and the happier we'll be. So there's usually a strategy that goes along with the things that you talk about when you're here on Mondays. What is today's strategy? Strategy is, you know, last week we were talking about how present moment focus is all about awareness first and choice second. And the same thing we're going to apply here today. You know, we likely compare

ourselves to others more than we think. And the first step is just noticing when you compare yourself to others. And so I'd encourage you to fill in this blank. I believe I am not enough. You know, I believe I am not blank enough when I compare myself to blank. So the way I would do this is I believe I'm not smart enough when I compare myself to other authors. Or I believe I'm not fast enough when I compare myself to other marathoners. So the key is noticing when you're doing this. And then the second thing is to celebrate your own progress instead of comparing yourself to others. So focus on your energy of being your best. Think back to a time, you know, maybe yesterday or last week or last month, last year. You could even go further back like a year ago, two years ago, and just notice the progress

you've made and instead focus on that instead of comparing yourself to others. So the key is just like catch yourself next time you are using someone else as a benchmark. My wife will always say, watch your own bobber. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Bring the kids back into check once in a while. This isn't your issue. Watch your own bobber. Nice. I like that. It's a good way to put it. Yeah. You have to know fishing, I guess, in order for it to make sense. Yeah. How do you summarize this then today? I would say high performers focus on their improvement and reaching their standard of excellence instead of comparing themselves to others. They stay focused on their lane, their race, their own best.

They know when they focus on others that they're going to struggle. So they focus on themselves instead. All right. And an affirmation, we always like to close with one of those and then you'll find them online through social media on the website. We'll give you those details too. But what is this week's affirmation? I pursue my standard of excellence. I stay focused on my lane and my progress. I work to be my best one step at a time. And where will we find this? I know that you have way more Twitter followers than I do. Don't compare yourself to Cindra.

Cindra does have a good Twitter following and there's a lot of useful info there. There's also Facebook and the website. So what is the best way for us to keep in touch with you? You can head over to Twitter. My Twitter handle is at Mentally underscore Strong, where you can find the affirmation and the quote card. And then you can head over to my website. That's where I list all my blogs and podcasts and some great ones that I've been posting lately. So my website is CindraCampoff.com.

All right. Good to have you cindracampoff.com. All right. Good to have you back in. Thanks for having me. Good to see you again. I'm so excited to see the cover of the book and actually get a copy of it in my hand one of these days soon. So if you're the editor and you're out there, get cracking. We want to see this thing.

Please do good work. Yes. And hard copies so we can invite everybody to the book signing one day. Yeah. It'll happen. All right. It's going to happen. Dr. Cindra Campoff with us today for High Performance Mindset on the Best Country, Minnesota 93.

Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.