High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 7: The Comparison Trap

Episode Date: September 16, 2015

As Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Research suggests that comparison breeds feelings of depression, low self-confidence, anxiety, separation and loneliness. We are less likely to reach our goals because comparison zaps our motivation and energy. In this podcast, Cindra talks about why we compare ourselves to others, and what to do instead. Plan to be inspired!

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Today's episode is sponsored by Worldwide Access Solutions Incorporated, a 24-7 clear advantage, a call center providing inbound and outbound services, and a licensed life and health insurance agency. You can visit them at wasi.com. Welcome, and this is your host, Cyndra Campoff, High Performance Coach.

I'd like to welcome you to the High Performance Mindset. Whether this is the first time you have been listening to the podcast or if you have been joining us since our very first episode, I am incredibly grateful that you're here with us today listening to a very important message about the comparison

trap. My husband and I bought our first boat mid-July, just a few months ago. In the first week, we literally spent about 60 hours on this boat, making awesome memories with my family, with my sisters, with my sister's kids, and with my parents. It has been an incredible joy having this boat. In fact, we've had really cool experiences the last few months enjoying this boat. My six-year-old learned to ski. I kneeboarded for the first time. And what I love about being on the boat is that there's no distractions. There's no cell phones to check. And it's just you and your family completely present. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to purchase this boat and make pretty cool family memories the last several months.

I was feeling pretty grateful for this new boat that I had until a few weeks ago. And a great friend of mine invited my family and I out to spend the afternoon on his boat. And what I recognized myself doing was I was sitting there on his boat and thinking to myself how it compared to mine. I thought things like, wow, his boat is newer. His boat is cleaner. His boat is snazzier. His boat even plays louder music than mine. Now, if you're anything like me, you can get caught up frequently falling into an emotionally dangerous trap of comparing yourself to others. And we do this in multiple ways. We might compare our appearance to another. We compare our athletic ability or our families or our belongings or our possessions. We might even compare the number of friends that we have to someone else that we know.

As Theodore Roosevelt said, comparison is the thief of joy, and I completely agree with this. The science also agrees. Research has found that comparing breeds feelings of envy, low self-confidence, depression. It compromises our ability to trust ourselves and others. Comparison leads to anxiety, separation, and loneliness. We also know from research that comparison negatively impacts our motivation at work. It can zap your motivation and decrease your excitement and energy to achieve your goals. And you might be thinking to yourself, well, why do we even do this? Social comparison theory suggests that it's important for us to evaluate ourselves and our place in this world. But the problem is that we don't usually evaluate ourselves in a very fair way.

We compare our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. So what should you do instead? The first step is awareness. Notice yourself when you are comparing yourself to others and this likely happens more frequently than you recognize and as a performance coach the only way that i think comparing yourself to someone else is helpful is if you ask yourself the question what can i learn from this person? You could acknowledge the other person and be excited for their success or their talent, but ask yourself, what could I learn from them? For example, if I meet a successful business person, I might ask

myself, what can I learn from them? Or if I meet a successful professional athlete or a marathoner, I might ask myself, what could I learn from them? Part of what makes life awesome and interesting is learning from others. The next step is to focus on being your best version of you. So instead of trying to be as good or better than others, instead focus your energy on being the best version of you. What does that best version look like and feel like? And instead of comparing yourself to someone else, think about the progress that you have made. What progress have you made in the last year? Think back to the last year or the last three years or the last five years. Who you are today is a result of the decisions that you have made since then.

And you're always in the state of creation and becoming more. So instead of comparing yourself to the Joneses next door, think about how you've progressed in the last year, the last three years, or the last five years. So next time you catch yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth, stop. Remind yourself of how ineffective the strategy is and instead compassionately redirect your energy to your own goals and what's required to achieve them. So thank you so much for joining me today, my friends. Please join the conversation either at cindracampoff.com slash blog or send me a tweet on what was helpful about today's message thank you so much for joining me i look forward to seeing you back here and if you haven't already make sure you subscribe on itunes or stitcher

radio so you get future episodes that will help you continue to master your mindset to live a genius life. Enjoy your week and be mentally strong. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. Are you signed up for Sindra's weekly email with free mental tools and strategies for high performance? Why the heck not? Text MENTALLYSTRONG, all one word, to 22828 or visit syndracampoff.com.