High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 727: Know Your Worth: Self-Worth, Negotiation, and High Performance with Dr. Meg Myers Morgan

Episode Date: January 23, 2026

In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff interviews Meg Myers Morgan, negotiation expert, executive coach, and author of Everything Is Negotiable, to explore why self-worth is the foundation of confidence, leadership, negotiation, and peak performance. Meg explains how our belief about what we're worth shapes what we ask for, what opportunities we pursue, and how we show up under pressure—long before we ever walk into a negotiation, performance moment, or leadership conversation. You'll learn why negotiation isn't about winning or convincing, but collaboration, clarity, and context—and how many people try to solve emotional needs (like feeling valued) with logistical asks (like money or titles). Meg also introduces her Three C's of self-worth—clarity, confidence, and navigating conflict—and explains why slowing down, regulating emotions, and deeply knowing yourself are essential skills for sustainable high performance. This episode will help you advocate for yourself more confidently, negotiate more effectively, and perform at your best by truly knowing your worth.   You'll Learn: Why self-worth is a foundation of high performance How your self-belief determines what you ask for and what you avoid The Three C's of self-worth: clarity, confidence, and conflict Why negotiation works best as collaboration, not confrontation How to stop solving emotional problems with logistical solutions The role of context when negotiating salary, roles, and boundaries Why slowing down and self-regulation improve performance How to ask for what you need with clarity and confidence   🔗 Episode Resources: Learn more about Dr. Meg Myers Morgan: https://www.megmyersmorgan.com/ Order Everything Is Negotiable: https://www.megmyersmorgan.com/books Download the Confidence Crisis Study: https://confidencestudy.com/Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Explore the Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Love the show? Rate and review the podcast—you might hear your name on a future episode!  

In today's episode of the high-performance mindset, I'm joined by Meg Myers-Morgan. Meg is a negotiation expert, executive coach, and the author of everything is negotiable. We talk about something that sits underneath confidence, leadership, negotiation, and peak performance, your sense of self-worth. Meg shares how what we believe we are worth shapes what we ask for, what opportunities we pursue, and how we show up under pressure long before we ever walk into a negotiation or an important performance moment. We also unpack why negotiation is not about winning or convincing, but about collaboration, clarity, and context. One of my favorite parts of this conversation is when Meg explains how many of us try to solve emotional needs, like wanting to feel valued or respected, with logistical solutions,

like money, titles, or roles. She introduces her three Cs of self-worth, clarity, confidence, and navigating conflict, and explains why slowing down, regulating emotions, and deeply knowing yourself, are essential skills for sustainable high performance. This episode will help you advocate for yourself more confidently, negotiate more effectively,

and perform at your best by truly, knowing your worth. Let's jump in. Okay, thank you so much for joining me here today on the high performance mindset. I got Dr. Meg Myers-Morgan in the house, and I'm so excited that she's here today because we got some really incredible topics like self-worth, negotiation, confidence, performance that everyone can find useful in their work and their everyday life. So Dr. Meg, thank you so much for joining me on the high-performance mindset today. I am very excited to be here. I got to hear you about a month and a half ago or two months ago or so at the speaker's showcase here in Minneapolis.

And I loved your talk. It's only 10 minutes, but I'm like, ooh, I love everything that she's saying. So I can't wait to share this with everyone who's listening. And I wanted to start with a question about self-worth because I think that's such an important topic today. And what I'd like us to start with is, you know, just this idea that your work centers around this power of self-worth. How do you discover that self-worth is such a pivotal force in leadership and performance? Yeah. So most of what I talk and write about and have for a long time is around negotiation. And specifically to women, although that's broadened out in my work.

And it started from a parenting place. I have two daughters and I'm also a college professor. So at the same time I was having children, I was also mentoring college students who were graduate students. So they were in their 30s and 40s. And I was just seeing these two girls be able to negotiate. And these students in my class couldn't. They couldn't ask for reasons. They couldn't get what they wanted in their marriages.

I mean, all kinds of things. And I thought, what happens between youth and adulthood where we just lose its ability to negotiate? So I got really invested in this idea of like, how do we negotiate? And the more that I looked into that, the more this idea of what am I worth kept creeping up, right? It wasn't really as much a logistical thing. How do I go in and ask for that, though there's some of that? But there was all this emotional backstory here of like, oh, I can't possibly ask that. I wasn't allowed to ask for that as a child or I don't feel like I'm worthy of that or how

how can I make them see that I'm worthy? And so that became like a much broader, deeper, the stuff under the iceberg situation of before you even get into a room where you can negotiate, which I define as any opportunity where you're walking into a space where you have a need and somebody has the ability to give that or withhold that. So it could be money. It could be talking to your spouse about providing more help at home. It could be a friend. It could be anything, right? I negotiate with my children all the time. But before you even get into that room, your awareness of what you're worth, your awareness of how you feel about yourself dictates even what rooms you walk into, dictates what you ask for, dictates if you even think it's possible. So that to me is,

interesting because it's very rarely like a behavioral thing. It is an emotional thing. I can see that. And I was just with a whole bunch of speakers this weekend. And I was even just noticing people's like self-worth and their belief in themselves and then how that put them into different positions, right? Or asking for different things. I think this is the same if it's like a leader in a company or an athlete who performs at their back. or a business owner. And so tell us how you define self-worth, just to kind of get that up front.

I think self-worth is your own reflection of who you are. Your deep understanding of who you are, almost in a vacuum, almost devoid of your accomplishments, of who you associate with, of the contexts that you're in, that you understand who you are as a person, You know your ticks and foibles and what triggers you and you see yourself fully.

And you love that part of you. You accept that part. And that then allows you to lead well, parent well, negotiate super well. And I noticed that in my children because children are in a vacuum, right? When they're young, they don't have the environmental context. They don't have. I mean, I'm assuming that if we're thinking about a child who's growing up in a loving household, right? That if they are not neglected, they then have so much self-worth.

And you see, like, you see this confidence, you see clarity, and you see them not shy away from conflict. And those are sort of the three Cs I always talk around self-worth is when you have it, it's those pieces that, you know, my children and they were young had so much confidence around. I mean, they still do. so much confidence that they are worthy of whatever they're asking for. The clarity of this is exactly what I want and I'm not going to stop until I get it. And then they have no issue going toe to toe with me for it. Right. And those are things that as pieces of your self-worth get tamped down or get altered by something a bully says or something that you hear in the media, you start to lose that confidence. You start to get unclear on what you,

want and then you start to get really nervous about actually interacting the negotiation part, that conflict part of asking for what for what you want. So Meg, are the three C's clarity, conflict, and confidence? Yes. Okay, perfect. And you know, what's interesting is we just did this national research study on confidence that people can download at confidantstudy.com. And I have a book coming out September 1 on confidence with Simon and Schuster. So I wanted to do this study, the national wide study. And there's a couple of things that we found that is similar to what you're saying is we found gen viers. So gen zir in our study is defined as ages 18 to 29. So a gen vier, one and two, consistently or frequently feels like they're not enough. Okay. And we also found

women scored lower on all markers of confidence compared to men, which we know that's been a trend for like, you know, since the beginning of time. But what's interesting about both of them, but particularly the Gen Zers, we also found that a Gen Zer spends six nath hours on their phone a day. And so when you think about not only kind of what you said about bullying or something that's happened, you know, when they were growing up or when they were a teenager, it's also like these teenage years because they're constantly on the phone. I think I have two Gen Zers. They're two boys. They went through COVID when it was really

difficult time. Like one was an eighth grade where, you know, things were shut down basically for nine months. And so, you know, they have experienced adversity during that time period. So what we found is consistent with what you're saying. Yeah, I think you've got to be very aware of the messages that are, that you're consuming. You have to be aware of your consumption. And I think like I'm 42 and my feeds are constantly talking to me about chest wrinkles. And like patches you can wear on your chest. And I think, oh, I mean, that's, that's tiny, but you do it. Yeah.

Or drip it all day long. And then I start to go, oh, am I? Am I decrepit? And so that, those things kind of creep in to where that becomes voices in your head and you allow those voices to be part of it. do think that what people get wrong about confidence is that you either have it or you don't. It's like an inherent. Yes. It's not.

Oh, she's just very confident, right? I think that really, really confident people flex it like a muscle. And I think the more confident someone seems, they're probably not. Like, I think the most confident people I know are very vulnerable. They're very okay with being wrong. Like that's that self-worth piece of like, I'm, it's okay if I make a mistake. It's okay if I'm wrong because I still know in this moment. I am enough. I'm really sad to hear that about Gen Z and them thinking they're not enough because my God, I thought that was a millennial thing. I thought like we, I thought, you know, what is the next one? What is my daughter? Gen X? No, Gen Y. So Gen Y. Exactly. Gen Y. So we found like even this is consistent in the young millennials and young millennials to find as ages 30 to 35. So that same amount, one and two consistently.

or frequently felt like they were not enough. Also, one and two, consistently or frequently compare themselves to others. And we think about, like, the traps of self-worth and confidence. Like, comparison is a trap. Because then you're never feeling like you're enough and you're looking for what's wrong instead of what's right. Your chest wrinkles versus, you know, whatever. You're gnawling.

And the flip side of that is I know my husband's not getting chest wrinkle images. And so, she are, we are. like purposely feeding, particularly women who then spend their hard-earned money and mental capital worrying about worrying and trying to correct for this. And I'm certainly, I haven't bought the chest wrinkle patches, but I'm certainly on that path of like, do I need to work hard about all of these things. And so, yeah, that's all a product where I think sometimes confidence, you're the expert of confidence, but this idea that's a certain way you walk in the room. But I think it's a certain way you walk in the room. But I think confidence will look different per person, right?

Like I have two daughters very different, very confident. That confidence comes across in very different ways. And so I worry that people are like, she's confident because why? Like what are you looking at about this person that seems confident where I don't know. I don't see it as like a one size fits all. Like it looks the same. Yeah. Yeah.

And I definitely think that confidence is like a muscle that you could flux like you said. And I think there's things that happen in our life that impact our confidence, where, let's say, we lost the job or we had a really difficult performance or, you know, there's something going on in our personal life and it's hard to balance it all. You know, all those things can impact our confidence. And I'm curious about, you know, like what you said is like you talk about seeing yourself clearly in terms of the self-worth part as a foundation for confidence and decision-making. what do you think is the first step in someone getting that kind of clarity on their, how they see themselves and their self-worth? Yeah, because in that division, I would say confidence might be your relationship with the world and self-worth is your relationship with yourself.

And so for me and how that journey, because I always say to people, you give the talk you need to hear. So it's not that it's not that I'm waking up every day feeling I've got all the self-worth. That's something I work on all the time. But I do think unconscious work is really important, whether it's coaching or therapy or that sort of internal, introspective, reflective work is really key. I think doing that in a intentional way is important, carving out time for that. But I also think doing that as micro moments, I'm going to go into this meeting and I'm going to think, what am I bringing in internally into this meeting? I'm feeling something.

And at the end of that meeting, how did that get? Like that just constantly being in a state of vision and reflection, vision and reflection. And I think that practicing that in micro moments is as important as carving out these big things like coaching or reading a book or, you know, that sort of more unconscious work. And when I think about how to do that, let's say you've getting tough feedback from a boss. Yeah. And it's like the story you're telling yourself about that. how are you understanding that situation and how are you like understanding yourself through that? And I think most people put themselves down and, you know, they automatically go to like,

I suck. I'm terrible. You know, these generalizations about identity instead of being like what we do is what we, like what we do not who we are. Right. How can we remove this? Like, yeah, this is a mistake I made. It's not who I am as a person. I think when it comes to feedback, I, I, I, say two things on that. This is not my quote, and I don't know whose quote it is, but your freedom is the space between stimulus and response. So yeah, Victor Frankel. Yes. So whenever you get that, the first thing you have to do is give yourself space to feel your feelings and we are not taught to feel our feelings. That was really hard work for me because I love to tell a story. Right. And my might as well tell this story that I'm not enough. I was never enough. I was never enough.

I'm never good enough. I'm probably going to get fired. Like that's versus feeling your feelings. Mine would always be this lump in my throat. Like I was in trouble. And I always ask people like, where do you feel it in your body? Oh, I feel it my neck. I feel it. You know.

And when I can feel that to really sit and like breathe into that and get my body calm is a huge part of just not steering it to me, not steering into that more reactive storytelling piece, right? where you go straight to your brain and not to your feelings. And so I think that's another big piece is just what's happening to you, right? Do you feel unsafe? Do you feel unsure? Sandra, there's someone with a lawnmower.

Is that going to be a problem? Nope. I don't even hear it. Sorry to edit that out. But yeah, I think it's this piece of self-worth. And I say this about leadership. Leadership is slow. self-worth is slowing down.

Leadership, everything is about slowing down, which feels very counter to, when you talk about performance, when we talk about productivity, that feels like fast and you're having to slow down and like air out and like what is happening to me in this moment when I'm feeling feedback? What did I hear versus what was said? All these things where when we're going fast, we're missing it. And so I think a lot of that knowing yourself and getting clarity around yourself has to be about slowing down. I love what you just said about what was being said versus how I feel.

And so many times we can just, again, automatic negative thoughts generalize. You know, we get this feedback and we don't feel good. And then it's like, well, they think I'm a terrible person or you go to these extremes, which aren't even true. And usually it's not even what's said. One thing that has really helped me being a professor all these years is I leave my ego at the door. I teach in political science. I walk into rooms where we're having very sometimes heated debates. And I have this practice in the classroom that I'm just like so curious. I'm like I stay and curious. I don't get in judgment. I don't it doesn't matter if you're saying something that is so counter to my political beliefs or, you know, And I get the, I get the class, we have enough norms in the class, I get them to do that too. But when you do that enough, that now is how I live my life. Like, it's very hard to offend me. It's very hard to get me riled up about certain things. So then when you come and give me feedback about me, there's still that muscle memory of, oh, okay, what exactly, you know, and staying curious with that person, that is a practice. And when you practice it in less skin, parts of your life, when you practice it in low-stakes parts of your life, it really is something that then you can, I think, more easily do in those spaces where you might be more prone to

start making up stories that are very self-critical. I appreciate what you just said about that. You know, that the more you do it, the better you get at it in just low-stakes environment. So I'm curious, what does your research say since our podcast is called the high-performance mindset, right? How do you think self-worth and performance influences each other, whether it might be in leadership or career, pivots, changes, maybe your personal life, maybe in athletics. Oh, how does self-worth help performance? You know, I don't really connect, though. Like, I love this.

Let me think about this for a second, because when I think about my ability to show up in spaces and perform well, and when I think about, I will, I will be honest, I have a little bit of a stressor about the word performance that I'll just name. where I'm a person that for a long time felt I had to perform. I know you're talking about, I know you're talking about like performing on the field and performing in leadership. And so so much of my work is about perform. Be so often. So you strip away. Your question is great. Your question is correct.

I'm just a moment identifying like that's. Yeah. How do I perform? Well, maybe I could define performance for you as just like at this. like this idea that we like we perform every day in our life and like I hear what you're saying about perform like it's not authentic but I think like authenticity is a pillar of performance so what I think about performance is just more like your ability to be at your best consistently that's what I think like you know be your best authentic self um and not trying to be anyone else because if you try

to be like someone else then you're you know then that you're you're not really even uh perhaps experiencing true performance to you. What I love about just what happened with you and me is I clearly felt triggered by that word, we slowed it down, you redefined it. Yeah. I get clear. Now what you're talking about. So if I think showing up the best I can be.

And I'm thinking about like my kids. How can I be so deeply present with them, which is my goal is just to be present? How can I show up and be really good in the classroom? Is I have to be really, I don't know a better word. than this, but regulated. I have to be, I have to know myself and get myself into the best spot I can be in. So I would think about athletes probably have to fuel themselves a certain way and have to sleep a certain way. I think if we're, if we're all thinking like that, the culture of, I'll rest when I'm dead or, you know, this hustle or this, oh, I've got back-to-back meetings.

I always say to people, why? Who, who did that to you, right? You have to take ownership over, like, the way that I structure my calendar, the way that I structure pieces of me and the way that I interact every day is because I know myself so well, I'm hacking my life. Like, I'm hacking it to where I know I need to be done by everything at four so that I can show up for my kids the way I want to. What does that mean then? I've got to, you know, piece together the calendar like this. How am I going to make that work? well, I've got to make sure I'm well rested and I eat it this time. So, I mean, I do think, like, I don't know that I would have necessarily known that until you ask and articulate that. But I think it is the more you know yourself, right, that you have the relation with yourself. You have that strong self-worth of I care about my rest. I care about being the best instrument. I care about all the things. Then I'm going to hack that so I can be the best. And a great example, you and I were just at national speaking, I used to early in my speaking career, show up and the tech people would say, does this stage look good? And I'd be like,

huh, thank you. Thank you so much. And now I walk in there and go, I need X, Y, Z. Like, I need, and everyone is happy to do whatever I need them to do, right? But it comes from, right, Lisa, I need it this way so that I can show up there on stage and be great. And I know what it takes. And I'm okay with asking you this because I'm, I know that at the end of the day, you want me to be great up there. And we're all in cahoots to my success. So, Long-winded answer, when you know yourself, you know how to then accommodate, make accommodations for getting yourself in the best position. Excellent.

And I think that knowing yourself is a foundation of performance. Like if you don't really know yourself, if you don't know what it takes to be at your best at speaking, right? Like you can't be your best. So I love that. Hi, this is Cinder Campoff and thanks for listening to the high performance mindset. Did you know that the ideas we share in the show are things we actually specialize in implementing? If you want to become mentally stronger, lead your team more effectively and get to your goals quicker. Visit free mental breakthrough call.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call with one of our certified coaches.

Again, that's free mental breakthrough call.com to sign up for your free call. Talk to you soon. Let's pivot a little bit to negotiation. And that's one of the things I heard you speak on. And you wrote a book called Everything is Negotiable, which really talks about negotiation in everyday life. What's the most common misconception people have about negotiation? That the person across the table from you isn't in cahoots with you about your success. That you are going to an opponent.

That you're going into an I win, you lose situation. that the person, everyone automatically thinks the answer is going to be no. They're going to convince the other side. Very rephrase that the case that I've seen. And a great example that I tell from the stage a lot is when we had our first kid, we've been married for like three years and all of a sudden our marriage needed to be renegotiated because now there was like an imbalance, right? and go like I at the time couldn't think of how to like get my husband which is crazy he's amazing

but I could figure out a way to say to him step up like it was this weird and thought I was going to have to like lay out like evidence right and especially women get real like they're going to go they're going into a courtroom everyone sort of gets their evidence I have at will call me they're like, I'm going to renegotiate my salary. Here's the eight-page paper I've written about why I deserve this raise. I'm like, oh, no, no, no. Don't sit, like, don't ever answer questions that haven't been asked. So what I tell? Husband, hey, I need more help. His immediate thing was like, of course you do. How, what can I, what can we do, right? We were in tandem. This woman who had the eight-page paper, I said, no, no one's asked you these questions. Don't answer them. Went in, asked for the raise.

It was an immediate, yes, of course. What do we need it to be? And, but she had prepared. as though we have to convince people. And I think that's a big misconception and actually a terrible negotiating strategy if you're having to convince someone. I think that starts with this feeling of, I still don't feel like I'm enough. I'm not convinced. I've done enough. Let me, let me write out, you know, a dissertation on why you should give me what I need. Yeah. And you know what I appreciate, Dr. Meg, is that when you talk about negotiation, that we typically think it's just like the salary of, you know, when I need to ask for a raise or when I want a new position. But it sees everyday negotiations with our kids or a partner or our friends or people that we lead, you know. So I appreciate that.

What would you say are some of the most important things we need to consider when we're negotiating? I think you do have to understand the emotional core of what's happening and get really clear on what your problem is. Most people can't identify their pain point. And when people are stressed, they go really wide. So they have like a bad day at work and they need a whole new career or their car gets messy and they should sell it. Like we get a little stressed and we go wide. People have a really hard time dismissing someone's clear ask. If you go into your boss's office and you're overwhelmed and you just throw at them, I'm stressed. Right. Hard to respond to. But if you go into their office and you say these are the resources I need in order to be able to do my job successfully, back to the performance piece,

it's really hard to dismiss someone's clarity. So I think getting that clarity of what it is that you need and make sure you're not solving an emotional problem with a logistical ask. So what I mean is a lot of times people are arguing for a salary and they think it's going to fix their feeling of being undervalued. And then they make the money and they still don't feel appreciated. right? Because those are two different mechanisms. So we've got to address, it's fine to address both, but we often think, well, if I can just, you know, if they'll just pay me enough, I'll feel better. I mean, we know this from research. That's never the case. Like, it's very rarely, there are money things. And then there's other things. But money is just, you know, that thing we attach a lot of our energy and emotions to.

Yeah. Isn't that so true? And I think like the clarity, what helps me is, is kind of what you're saying earlier. I have my own coach. And it helps me just to talk through things and I can say, well, actually, the real problem is this or what I really need is this. And sometimes it's hard to make sense of how you're feeling, you know, unless I feel like I have to talk it through or my husband.

Yeah. I was working in tandem with this coach and we were coaching as C-suite and we were talking with the CEO. And we were in there sort of working on a personnel issue. and the other coach was so hell-bent on getting the CEO to agree to his point of view. He was like, you've got to do that, you know, and he was pushing it so hard and pushing it so hard, and we got out later. And I said, why are you so invested in him doing it that way?

What is happening with you? And he was like, oh, I'm so worried that if he doesn't take my advice, then he won't find me valuable. Well, that's very different. That's a very different thing that you're fighting in there. Versus I sort of gave my opinion and then I got quiet because it's not really about me, right? It's about whatever this. But I think that there was this emotional thing happening in that room. He's trying to negotiate something, but he's also trying to prove his value.

If we aren't aware of that walking in that, oh, I don't necessarily think this guy finds me valuable, we might show up in a weird way. We might start pushing for things and not really know why. One of the things I also heard you say from stage that I really appreciate and I wrote some notes down. I mean, I was listening to you is when we're negotiating, you said consider the context. And then you said also give them a heads up, you know, to alert the person, which always helps me. Like when I think of people who've asked me for something if it's a raise or if it's a, you know, changing something in their job, if they say, hey, I just want to chat with you about blank, blank, blank tomorrow. You know, it's like, oh, okay, then I'm not surprised that, you know, they caught me off guard or I only have a few minutes here or my brain is thinking about the next thing.

So tell us about context and just giving a heads up to the person. So context is important because I think when we think about negotiating, we say this is what I deserve and then we try to get it in whatever context we're in. So if you think you're worth a hundred grand for a salary, but you are in a position that's never going to pay that. And then you don't get that money. You now think you're not worth it, right? And you attach your worth to the context. It's really important you figure out your worth and then go find the context that fits it. Because a lot of times we look at a situation.

We're in a bad marriage, so I must not deserve better. No, this is what you deserve. can this spouse give it to you or not, go find a different context. So often we're trying to negotiate in here where we may be needing a contextual negotiate. We may need to switch contexts. Giving a heads up is if we approach everyone as being in cahoots to our success, it changes the way we show up in the room. It changes the way we ask. So if I'm going to ask you or something, I'm going to let you know I'm coming because that's,

I want you to be as successful in that conversation as I am. So if I'm coming and ask you to come do something for me, I want you to come speak at something, I'm not going to write you and say, hey, Cinder, can we jump on a call? Because now you're going to be like, uh-oh, is Meg mad at me? Did I miss it? Right? Like, we might start starting that story. If I lead with, hey, I'm going to be asking you a favor about maybe coming and speaking.

Okay, let me think that through. How do I, what am I willing to do? What, you know, then when we get in that room together, you're ready. and I'm ready and we can have a very honest conversation about what both of us need. But, you know, when people text me, can you jump on a call? The flush of red. I'm like, oh, God, what about, you know, immediately go to a negative place where if somebody says, hey, can we talk later about X?

Yeah. Absolutely. Just give me some content is what I need there. I appreciate you saying, I thought that was just me, you know? Yeah. No, no, no, no. We're like all of us feel this way. But but if I'm reaching out and say, hey, can I, can we get on a call later? That's clearly me feeling nervous. Like I'm a, I need to ask you something. I'm titoing up and I'm, you know, the number of people that have asked me to coffee.

it sets me, I just want to catch up with you. Like, no, you don't. That's not what this is. It's something. There's a bigger ask or there's something really important to them. And I expect and honor that. But if I just know, hey, I need to talk to you about career stuff. I'm very stressed about something.

That allows me to prepare and show up better for you, right? So again, if we approach everyone as being on our team and not our adversary, we show up in a very different way. And even like, yeah, cut off in traffic or, you know, hey, they're on my team. They're on, we're all just walking each other home as this quote goes, you're on my team, let's all be on the team, drastically changes the way that you view people, the way you view yourself and the asks that you make. So if someone is interested in having a conversation with a boss or an employer about

increasing their, you know, increasing their salary. would you then tell them to say, hey, I want to chat with you next week about my salary. Give them a heads up. Give them a heads up. Let them know you're coming because I do think we think the element of surprise is very, very helpful. And it's not. Often you're walking into spaces where the boss sometimes doesn't know what the raise situation is. I always bring up Daryl asking Michael on the office for a raise.

And Michael's saying, I've never gotten a raise. Like you just sometimes don't know what situation you're walking into. I would also say it might be worth asking the boss, hey, what is the process around asking for raises? I'd like to talk about that. So you've given the staff of, okay, she's interested in the process that the company does because we're not really very open with that in our companies, right? I don't really want you to know that. So, yeah, that heads up is really key. Excellent.

Is there a negotiation strategy that you think everyone should start using today, regardless of their job title or what they do? I love this question. You'll have to edit out my long pause. Or really what I'm asking is like, what else should people know about negotiation that we haven't talked about? That's really what I'm getting at. I think a great substitution for the word is collaboration. I can cross elaboration later today with my spouse. I'm going to go into collaboration later today with my boss. Because when we come at it like that and someone says no, we go, oh, well, tell me more why, right?

It's not this immediate, you know, punches thrown. I think being really clear at every point along the way what the real problem is, and that may take talking to a coach, that may take, you know, talking with a friend, getting this thought partner that's like, is that, is that really the root of the problem? problem. Understanding the context that you're in, is this a context that can provide that for you? Yeah, I just want to go back to that emotional, the emotional motivation for what your ask is is really key and that you make sure that this ask actually addresses that because it could be a bigger, maybe you do need a raise, but maybe you also feel really undervalued at work. And maybe that's the conversation. sure is, hey, I'm not super valued. And be prepared for a boss to say, and what would make you feel valued? And part of that may be money, but part of that may be the way you're treating me in meetings, right? It may be small, small things. And I think that's something that's very funny to me about leaders being worried about these asks. They're often much smaller things than leaders are

thinking they're going to be. And a great example is the U.S. Chamber did this big study on child care and companies that just reserved time to ask parents what they needed. The companies were very worried that parents were going to storm in and say we want on-site child care. We want you to pay for the whole thing. The number one thing parents ask for is just don't schedule meetings at 730. You know, all I had to do is that. And they are always worried it's going to be this huge, I want you to raise my baby and pay college tuition. And it's like, no, please don't, please just don't have meetings at 730. Like very. simple asks that that's really what negotiation is. It's these tiny things every day. They're

very rarely these massive asks. And if we just give each other space and give ourselves space for these tiny tinkers toward what we're, what we're wanting, then we'll get there. I love that. And one of the things that you had mentioned to me earlier, you know, just this idea that everyone should be able to have strategies on negotiation. But sometimes people, people might bring you in and say, well, don't talk about asking for a salary. You know, it's like, yeah, oh, yeah, really you want to completely empower our people. So what would your response be to that for people who are listening and saying, well, I don't know if I should teach my people actually how to negotiate. One thing I will say from the outside, companies that bring me in and have no

concern already make me feel really good about that company, you know, that they're really good. people, that they operate with the culture of transparency. I have had spaces where, you know, people have come up to me. They're like, now everyone's going to ask me for a raise. My response would be, but do they know the process? Like, just be transparent with them. You're both in, in cahoots for each other's success. Just be, just be transparent and honest with them. Now, of course, I make changes on talks to where I may not mention the example you saw, which is this is exactly how you asked her a raise. I will. change it to here's how you ask for to be a lead of a project or here's how you ask for a

promotion but here's the thing that stuff's the like people can find that stuff people already know a lot of this stuff what it's about is giving people an opportunity to recognize that that you want people that work for you that are clear on the resources that they need and feel safe and comfortable asking for that sometimes that will be money but a lot of times that please don't start meetings at 7.30, right? A lot of types. Much, much, much smaller asks. And I just think it says a lot about companies that are willing to say, hey, the negotiation is a spectrum. We're asking for a lot of things. What I want is an organization where the employees know exactly who they are and what they need to perform well and are able to

ask for those things they need in order to have that performance. I love it. And then people are going to feel more valued and more appreciated. Their confidence is going to increase. and then their performance is going to grow, which will impact revenue and productivity and more of a positive culture. Dr. Meg, tell people where we can learn more about you, get your books, learn more about your speaking or your coaching. Meg Myersmorgan.com. I would love to hear from anyone. I'm very accessible, and I always get, after I do podcasts like this, I always get emails. They're like, okay, but here's a tricky situation I have.

This is my, so send those emails. I'll happily respond. I love it. Well, I want to end with just a few fun questions. So what's been your favorite negotiation you've ever been a part of? Oh, yes. So when I got my book deal for everything is negotiable, I was told my agent that authors do not get to do their own audiobook. And I said it was really important. I wanted it in the contract. And neither the agent nor the publisher was willing to do that. So I, I I, but they said, but we can, we can talk about it after the fact. So I kept bringing it up. And every other week, I would send the publisher clips of me talking and doing the audio book. I'd send just, just clips of it over. That's awesome. So eventually they said, okay, fine. You can do your own audio book. And then you know what I did?

I said, great, you need to pay me like you are going to pay another voice actor. So it was a actual negotiation of my voice. And it taught me a lot about my voice mattered in that. And I fought for. And it was worth it. And it was the most fun I ever had. I loved recording the audiobook. And I always love when I listen to an audio book that it's actually the awesome, right?

So I think authors should be the people to read in my opinion. I do know that that's not everyone's skill set. But as a speaker, I'm like, no, I can or a, just let me. So I just kind of have. Now, whether or not they really thought I was impressive or they were just tired of my emails, I won. I won. Also, what's one thing you do when you feel stuck?

Like professionally stuck? Or personally stuck or stuck in your own way or... Oh, I love this. I usually create myself out of issues. So I, if I am stuck, it is usually because I've overconsumed, not overcreated. So I try to sit down and create. And for me, that's writing. But I think there's a lot of other things.

that I sort of, the easiest way, what is it? The easiest way through is through. What is the phrase? The quickest path out is through. Whatever. Resistance? I don't know. So I just, I, one, I have to make sure I'm like resting because my natural tendency

is to just keep going. But I find so much joy in creating. And that's typically what gets me out. I love it. And if there's one thing that you want people to remember from our conversation, What do you hope that is? That the value of understanding yourself is more powerful than anything else you can ever do to know yourself and to accept yourself and to build a world around yourself where you get to be super successful. I think so much about if I had to do my sister's an engineer and how unhappy I would be being an engineer because that's not my skill set.

And conversely, how unhappy she would be if she had to get on stage and speak. Right? Yeah. Build a life that builds to your strength. And, you know, my thing that I always say is know your worth. I love it. So, which is such a fun conversation. I loved our authenticity, the way we showed up today and the value that you brought.

So thank you so much, Dr. Meg, Myers-Morgan. And I appreciate you and all the value you provided us today. Thank you so much. And did you know that we had the same shoes on stage? Oh, yeah. Sparkly ones. Sparkly speakers are, I have every color of the rainbow. And so when I saw those, I was like, oh, I'm going to like her.

I started wearing them about a year and a half ago. They're the best. They're way better than heels. And no, I'm a little more comfortable. You will not find me in a heel. No. This is my height. This is as high as it gets.

And you and I are both short ladies. So it's like, this is all we are. This is not going to be comfortable. We know our work is. It's true. We have so many things in common. So Dr. Mike's so much fun to talk to you today. Thank you so much for G-TRAC.

Way to go for finishing another episode of the high-performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe, and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and enjoy my exclusive community for high performers, where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can add over to Dr. Sindra,

That's DRC-I-N-D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.