High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 75: Confidence is a Decision

Episode Date: October 11, 2016

High performers are confident – they believe and trust in their ability. They have certainty that they will be successful. They are confidently humble – they have inner arrogance but don’t brag. They are constantly nurturing their confidence because they know confidence can be fragile. Affirmation this Week: I choose confidence. I choose to believe and trust in my ability. I constantly nurture my confidence with my daily decisions to be at my best for myself and my team.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. High performance mindset today on the Country Club with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. I like this topic today because it is, it's something I've, I'll be honest, I've utilized in this business before in those real nerve-wracking, almost terrifying situations. Confidence is a decision. What do you mean? So I'm going to start with a few quotes of what the best have said about confidence.

For example, Sheryl Sandberg is the COO of Facebook. And this is what she said. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. Okay. And even Joe Montana, the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers and four-time Super Bowl champion, said confidence is a fragile thing. This is probably one of my favorite quotes about confidence by Mia Hamm. So one of the best soccer players to ever play the game.

And she said, the thing about confidence that I think people don't understand is that it's a day-to-day issue. It takes constant nurturing. It's not something you go in and turn on a light switch and say, I'm confident, and it stays until the light bulb burns out. I think you'd be amazed at most athletes. Someone tried to tell me once that Michael Jordan doesn't have confidence problems. He's probably very selective about who he shares it with. So I think what all three of those quotes really say from some of the greatest in business and in athletics is that confidence isn't something you just have. It's

not something you're born with, but it's something that is a decision and it takes constant nurturing. It's a day-to-day thing. It's a skill that you develop. It's not something you just turn on. Can you be overly confident? Because oftentimes you bump into somebody and you're like, boy, that person thinks they're pretty big stuff. Yes, I would say confidence is not about acting cocky or arrogant. And I think what being mentally strong is really about is having inner arrogance, not outer arrogance.

So when I think about confident people, they don't need to brag. They don't have to shout it from the rooftops. And so I like this quote by Norman Vincent Peale who said, people with humility don't think less of themselves. They just think about themselves less. And that's what I think about confidence is that you're not arrogant. Right. Yeah, but you have this inner arrogance.

You know that you're worthy and that you know that you're capable and that you can be successful and you can reach your dreams. So in a description of confidence, then it's not arrogance. It is just having that inner belief, I would say, I suppose. Yeah, and so confidence is really about your belief and your trust in your ability. It's the certainty that you're going to be successful. And what I've seen is even at the highest levels, having talent and skills is not enough. You have to believe in those talent and skills.

And when you really work to nurture your confidence every day, again, that doesn't mean that you're arrogant or cocky. It can make a big difference. And when I think about what the best do is, you know, and you can see this in their confidence, is they don't let mistakes and bad games or poor performances or a bad day at work or, you know, a mistake at work, they don't let it impact their confidence. They don't make generalizations about themselves because of a mistake or something that went wrong.

I feel like it's almost a silly question to ask, but I'm going to set it up so you can knock it out of the park for you here. But why is it important for us to choose confidence? I like what you said, TJ, about choosing confidence. And the reason it's important is because it's one of the strongest predictors of our happiness and our day-to-day performance. And I don't just mean like in athletics. I mean because we perform every single day in our jobs, in our lives.

And what I just said is that confident people have a better ability of dealing with setbacks and adversity and mistakes, and they have more courage to go after their goals. So if you're lacking confidence, you're not going to work as hard, you're not going to set as challenging goals, and then you're not going to stay the course. So confidence is a decision that we will make. Yes. It's a decision. It's a light switch we turn on.

And every single day. What exactly do you mean by it being a decision? I mean, we have to make that decision. We're going to be confident. We have to make it. And we make it by how we think and how we act and what we notice around us and what we're paying attention to. So our perspective.

And when you think about high performers, those who work to reach their greater potential, and I mean, everybody who's listening, wouldn't be listening to this if you weren't interested in doing that, you know, they carry themselves with confidence. They think in a really powerful way. And then they they act in a way that maintains their confidence and they they make it a daily decision to nurture. Is this something you're writing about in the book? I am. So in one of my chapters, I have 10 decisions that impact your confidence. Okay.

And so confidence is a bigger decision, but then there's things that you can do to make sure that you're thinking and acting confidently every day. Give us some examples. Okay. I'll give you a few examples. Yeah, just a few. Just a few. You've got to go and buy the book.

You want the rest. For sure. For sure. So the first decision you can make to impact your confidence is to remind yourself of your accomplishments. And this just happened to me yesterday. So my training for the marathon yesterday was a little spotty, especially that I did really great all summer. And then I got really busy with the teams I'm working with. And so I woke up and I thought, is this really something I want to do today?

And I've never had that thought before a marathon. And I decided, okay, I'm going to commit to running like 10 miles. And then if it's not that great, you know, it's okay. You know, I'll just, you know, it's fine. And so as I was walking to the start, I looked at my watch. And I was just looking through the runs I've had. And I was like, okay, Sindra, you're ready for this. And then I saw a 20-mile run that I had ran three weeks ago, and I ran really good.

So, you know, it's like I just had to remind myself of my past runs. And sometimes I think we forget that in the moment when it's maybe a little anxiety-provoking or, you know. So that's how I used it yesterday. First decision, remind yourself of your accomplishments because, you know, your past is like tangible evidence you can do it. A few other things is make a decision to be fully prepared. So we know that preparation is one of the best ways to impact your confidence. And then be your own best friend because so many times we just beat ourselves up. So instead of thinking about how your best friend would talk to you and they would talk to yourself in a kind way.

Right. So notice the inner voice in your head because that's going to impact your confidence. friend would talk to you and they would talk to yourself in a kind way, right? So, you know, notice the inner voice in your head because that's going to impact your confidence. Really good stuff here today. So how do we summarize the confidence topic today? So high performers, those who are working to reach their greater potential, which is you, who is listening, they trust and believe in their ability. They have certainty that they will be successful and they're confidently humble. They have certainty that they will be successful, and they're confidently humble. They have inner arrogance, but they don't brag.

And they constantly nurture their confidence because they know that confidence is fragile. There was once a kid from Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, who played for a Division II football team and really had aspirations of playing in the NFL and just kept working away at it, was pretty confident in himself, and last night had well over 100 yards

and a ridiculous touchdown for the Minnesota Vikings and Adam Thielen for the Mavericks, right? Oh, it was so amazing being there and watching him be so successful. Awesome. Yeah, and I think he's a great example of what we're talking about today. He believes in himself and his ability, but he's not arrogant, right? And he's coachable, and he controls the controllables, right? And then he just turns it on when the ball's thrown to him.

So congratulations, Adam. Yeah, I was thinking now that they're going into the bye week, and you mentioned controlling the controllables, which you can't really control this, but I thought, boy, this bye week would be a perfect time for his wife to have that baby. And then he would not miss any time at all. We could get it all out of the way during the bye week, and then right back into action when the Vikings return in week number seven.

So what is our affirmation for this week as we wrap up? I choose confidence. I choose to believe and trust in my ability. I constantly nurture my confidence with my daily decisions to be at my best for myself, my family, and my team. Excellent stuff. Now, if we want to follow along with you, get updates on all of this stuff, get the affirmation on social media. We want to know more about grabbing that book when

it becomes available. How do we keep in touch with you? You can head over to Dr. Sindra. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. And then I'm always on Twitter at Mentally underscore Strong and Facebook where you can find the affirmation. And then my podcast is on iTunes called High Performance Mindset. How many marathons is that for you now? 14. Nice. What's the next one? Boston Marathon.

I'm looking for a PR there. All right. Football season gets over. I'm going to train really hard this spring. Congratulations again. Dr. Cinder Kampoff with us today. High Performance Mindset on The Country Club on Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset.

If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.