High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 769: Purposeful Feedback Grows Confidence

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

The right feedback doesn't tear people down. It shows them how to rise. In this short episode, Cindra explains why simply telling someone what they did wrong rarely helps them improve. Effective feedback gives people a clear direction and helps them believe they can do better next time. Purposeful feedback focuses on specific behaviors, explains what to do differently, and gives the person something practical to work on. Before giving feedback, ask yourself: What specific behavior am I observing? What do I want them to do differently next time? How can I communicate this in a way that helps them believe they can improve? Whether you are leading a team, coaching an athlete, mentoring someone, or parenting, your words can strengthen confidence or slowly chip away at it. This Week's Power Phrase "My words help people grow."   To watch the replay of The Confidence Summit, visit: theconfidencesummit.com(opens in new tab) To pre-order The Confidence Habit, visit: www.confidencetools.com To download our full study report, visit: confidencestudy.com(opens in new tab) To request a Free Breakthrough Call with a Mentally Strong Coach, visit: freementalbreakthroughcall.com(opens in new tab) To learn more about the Mentally Strong Institute, visit: mentallystronginstitute.com(opens in new tab) To learn about Dr. Cindra Kamphoff's speaking and coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com(opens in new tab) To follow Dr. Cindra on Instagram, visit: @cindrakamphoff

Hi friends, Dr. Sindra here, and I'm so excited to announce that my new book, published by Simon & Schuster, is now available titled The Confidence Habit. Our national research study on confidence showed there is a confidence crisis in America today. One in two Gen Zers and young millennials feel like they are not enough. Women still scored lower on all markers of confidence compared to men. And this book provides the tangible research-backed strategies to grow your confidence, and I can't wait for you to read it. You can head over to ConfidenceTools.com to purchase your copy where there's over $594 of bonuses over there. Again, check it out at ConfidenceTools.com, and I can't wait to hear what to think about it. I'd like to start with this quote, that the right feedback doesn't tear people down.

It shows them how to rise. Sandra, what are we talking about for today's topic? Well, Seth, we're talking about leadership and purposeful feedback, and I was talking with a leader recently who was frustrated because one of her employees just wasn't improving after several different coaching conversations. And she kept on saying to me, you know, I've told them this three times, you know, what he's doing wrong, but nothing really changes. And as we unpacked it, we realized something really important, that she was giving feedback, but she wasn't giving direction. And there's a really big difference. And so the employee wasn't leaving those conversations feeling capable of improving.

He was just really wondering leaving if he was cut out for his job. And so today we're talking about the difference between feedback that discourages confidence. and feedback that develops it. It's interesting. I think most of us have the notion that if we're giving feedback, we're helping out. Exactly. And here's what I've learned just working with, you know, years and years of working with athletes and executives and teams.

You know, confidence doesn't grow because someone tells you what you did wrong. Confidence grows when someone, you know, really believes in you that you can do something better the next time. And purposeful feedback would say something like, you know, here's what I've noticed. here is what to do next. And it focuses on the behavior, not the person. So instead of saying something like, you know, your feedback wasn't very engaging, you might say, you know, your opening was really strong, but next time pause, you know, after some key points and finish by asking, you know, the team one question. And that's going to really help people stay engaged. And so, you know,

now you've actually given them something to practice. And Seth, you know, as I work a lot in sports as well. And so sometimes coaches will say things like you just weren't really focused. But Athletes really don't know what to do with that. So you might say, you know, hey, next time, take one deep breath before you step into the batters box and lock in your eyes and your, you know, the pitcher's release point. And that gives really people feedback, something they can use. So feedback should leave people with a next step instead of just a problem. Exactly. So specific feedback really builds belief.

But when we give kind of vague feedback, that builds doubt. And so another thing we often say kind of, you know, backwards is praise. And so when someone does something really good, we just might say, like, good job. But you want to tell them exactly what they did well. So you might say, you know, I loved how you stayed composed after that mistake, you know, if they're playing sports. Or you might say, you know, you asked a really thoughtful question in that meeting that moved the discussion forward.

Or, man, I loved how you just, you know, really encouraged your teammates when things were hard. And the more specific, the praise, the more likely they're going to repeat their behavior. That's something certainly that all of us can use, not just coaches. Exactly. You know, whether you're leading a team at work or maybe your parenting or you're mentoring someone, you know, I think what's important is that your words reinforce, you know, confidence or they chip away at it.

And so, you know, one of the biggest confidence killers in organizations is really unclear feedback because people want to improve, but, you know, they can't hit a target that they can't see. So the goal isn't to avoid difficult conversations, though, you know, really goal is to make the difficult conversations productive and people grow faster when they're challenged and supported. So what is one tool that we can use this week? I would say one tool you could use is before you give someone feedback, just pause and ask yourself just three quick questions. You know, first, what are specific behaviors that I'm seeing or observing? And sometimes we just kind of don't even realize what we're trying to give feedback.

on. Second, what do I want them to do differently next time? And that next time is important because they can't do anything about the past. And then third, how can I say this in a way that helps them believe that they can improve? And if your feedback answers these three questions, you're building confidence instead of fear. I love that. You're building confidence instead of fear. What is today's power phrase? My words help people grow because confidence isn't something that's built only by what we tell ourselves, but it's also built by what we choose to say to others. Sandra, how can people follow along with you and get more information about your books and your coaching? Absolutely. Great question. So you can head over to Dr. C-I-N-D-R-A. And I got a new book

coming out September 1st, Seth. It's called The Confidence Habit. It's already a national bestseller, believe it or not. And so you can also pre-order that anywhere you can get books like on Amazon. And we have some awesome bonuses you can get at Confidence Tools.com. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and enjoy my exclusive community for

high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can add over to Dr. Sindra. That's d r c-I-N-D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.