High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 773: Confidence is Many Times Borrowed Before It's Built

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

Sometimes, you need to borrow someone else's belief in you until you build enough belief in yourself. In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff shares how the people around us can shape what we believe is possible. She reflects on how her father believed in her interest in sport and performance psychology before she could fully see the path herself, allowing her to "borrow" his confidence. Cindra explains why confidence is social and why building your winning team matters. The people who have your ear can strengthen your belief, remind you what you're capable of, and help quiet your inner critic when you're pursuing something difficult. In this episode, you'll learn how to: • Identify the people who truly believe in you • Borrow their words when your inner critic gets loud • Surround yourself with a winning team that strengthens your confidence • Become a "confidence lender" by telling others what you see in them • Use someone else's belief as a bridge toward believing in yourself Cindra also challenges you to think of someone who believed in you before you believed in yourself. Thank them, then look for someone in your own life who might need to borrow a little confidence from you today. Power Phrase: "I believe in you, and I believe in me."   To order The Confidence Habit, visit: www.confidencetools.com To download our full study report, visit: confidencestudy.com To request a Free Breakthrough Call with a Mentally Strong Coach, visit: freementalbreakthroughcall.com To learn more about the Mentally Strong Institute, visit: mentallystronginstitute.com To learn about Dr. Cindra Kamphoff's speaking and coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com To follow Dr. Cindra on Instagram, visit: @cindrakamphoff

Hi friends. My name is Dr. Sindra Campoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week, I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode, focus on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. Sometimes you have to borrow someone else's belief in you until you build enough belief in yourself. Oh, I like that. What do you mean by borrowing confidence? Well, Seth, I think about my dad. So when I was in high school, I loved running and I loved the mental side of running. I was always curious about why someone would perform really well

and sometimes I might perform not as well. And around the same time, my dad was learning about the psychology of sales. And I remember sitting around the dinner table talking about it. And he would share what he was learning about mindset and belief and performance and sales. and I would connect it to what I was doing and running. And those conversations really fascinated me. And my dad saw something in me. He encouraged me to pursue this career in sport and performance psychology before I really even knew it was a career.

And he believed in my interest in the mental side of performance, like that it could become something bigger. And at that point, I didn't have all the evidence that I could build a career around this. But my dad believed in me before I completely believed in myself. And so for a while, I borrowed his confidence. So other people can actually help us become more confident. Absolutely.

And we tend to think of confidence as something that we have to create completely on our own. But confidence is also social. And so what that means is the people around us become mirrors. You know, their words, their expectations, their encouragement, their belief can shape what we believe is possible for ourselves. And in the confidence habit, my new book, one of the practices I talk about is compose your winning team. because confidence isn't only about what's between your ears, it's also about who has your ear. So how do we know who should have our ear? All right, great question.

I'm going to talk about three things today. And the first thing is to identify your believers. In the confidence habit, I talk about this as your dream team of confidence. So ask yourself, who sees the best in me? Who reminds me of what I'm capable of when I forget? Who sees potential in me that maybe, I don't know, even seeing myself yet. And these are the people that you want close to you when you're taking a risk, when you're pursuing a dream or going after something hard, or you're going through a

difficult season. And my dad was one of those people for me. What is the second thing, Sandra, that we can do? Okay. The second thing I would say is borrow their words. You know, when your inner critic gets really loud in your own head and says, you know, I don't know if I can do this. Just pause and ask, what would someone who believes in me say right now? You know, what would your coach say? What would your mentor say? What would your challenger say? Maybe what would your parents or your best friend or your spouse say? And sometimes we can hear their belief more clearly than we can hear our own. And eventually, you know, something really powerful happens. Their voice starts becoming your voice. And you start saying, well, maybe I can do this. And eventually, Seth, you say, I can do this.

What is the last thing that we can do? The last thing you can do is become a confidence leader or a confidence lender. And what I mean by this is this is probably one of the most important things is you never know when your words are going to become someone else's inner voice, right? So tell people what you see in them and be specific is better. Maybe even just saying something like, I noticed how you handled that and you're really good at this or I think you're ready. I believe in you.

And those things really go a long way. I can think of times where people have said that to me in the last week and it really built my confidence. And those seem really like simple statements. But sometimes one person believing in you changes the direction of your life. And I know this was true for me, at least. So what is the challenge for those listening here today? Okay.

I have two challenges. First, think of someone who believed in you before you believed in yourself. and send them a text message and thank them. You know, tell them, you probably don't even realize this, but your belief in me really mattered. And then turn around and do the same for someone else, who in your life needs to borrow a little confidence from you today and tell them what you see in them.

You know, sometimes we need someone else to hold that belief for us until we're strong enough to hold it for ourselves. And what is today's power phrase, Sandra? Power phrase today is, I believe in you and I believe in me because Seth, confidence doesn't always start with just believing in yourself. Sometimes it starts with someone else believing in you. And that's what I mean by borrowing their confidence and you can keep building your own and then lend yourself to, you know, yours to someone else. Cindra, if those listening want to learn more or pick up your

most recent book, where can they find you? You can head over to dr. cindra.com and my book is called the confidence habit, you can find it at Confidence Tools.com or anywhere where books are sold. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more,

remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and enjoy my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can add over to Dr. cindra that's d r c i n d r c i n d r d r c i d r dra dot com see you next week