High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 774: Unique Is Better Than Better: How to Communicate with Confidence with Dr. Andrea Wojnicki

Episode Date: September 7, 2026

How you introduce yourself can shape how others see you and how confidently you see yourself. In this episode of the High Performance Mindset Podcast, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with executive communication coach Dr. Andrea Wojnicki, founder of Talk About Talk and author of one of Harvard Business Review's most downloaded articles, "A Simple Way to Introduce Yourself." Andrea shares her simple Present, Past, Future framework for introducing yourself with confidence and clarity. She explains why your self-introduction is one of the most direct ways to communicate your personal brand and how getting clear on your unique strengths can build confidence from the inside out. You'll learn: The Present, Past, Future framework for a powerful self-introduction How to communicate your strengths without feeling arrogant or overly self-promotional Why "unique is better than better" How to identify the strengths that genuinely distinguish you Why enthusiasm can be a competitive advantage The Four P's of Confidence: Practice, Pep Talk, Proverb, and Pirate How greater clarity about who you are can strengthen your confidence and self-esteem Andrea also shares practical advice for networking, interviews, presentations, and other high-pressure moments when how you communicate matters most. When you stop trying to be everything and start getting clear on what makes you uniquely valuable, confidence becomes easier to communicate and easier to feel. Episode Resources & Links Andrea's website: https://www.talkabouttalk.com/ Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Order Cindra's new Book: https://www.confidencetools.com/

Welcome to the high-performance mindset podcast. Today I'm so excited to sit down with Dr. Andrea Wajnicki. She is an executive communication coach. She has a Harvard Business School doctorate, which I can't wait to learn more about, and is the mind behind one of the Harvard Business Review's most downloaded articles of all time, a simple way to introduce yourself. And again, I can't wait to talk to her about it. Andrea works with executives at some of the world's most recognized organizations, including Deloitte, J.P. Morgan, and MasterCard. helping them communicate with confidence and clarity when it matters most. And she leads an executive education programs at the University of Toronto and is a contributor to Inc magazine and Fast Company. Andrea, thank you so much for joining us here on the High Performance Mindset Podcast. Thank you so much, Sandra. I'm so excited to be here. And I even love the title, High Performance. I love it. Let's do this. Let's do it. I can't wait to talk to you more about your work

and the things that you're working on. So to get us started, why do you think people should keep listening to us today? They should keep listening to us because you and I, in the conversation that we had before we press record here, I know are completely aligned in our mission to give people the tools, the frameworks, and the mindsets that will help them succeed and achieve their goals. Absolutely. Yes. And I first want to ask you, Dr. Andrea, about the, article that you wrote that went viral, a simple way to introduce yourself. Tell us why, you know, it was the most downloaded article at Harvard Business Review. Like, what do you think that's about? So I've been coaching folks for for years and years. And I noticed that even some of

the most successful senior leaders that I coach often have challenges in introducing themselves with confidence and clarity. So they would say, I don't know what to say. and it feels yucky inside to themselves. And they said, I know that when I introduce myself, it's an opportunity for me to clarify and reinforce my personal brand, my professional identity, and I don't really know what to say. And this question came up again and again and again.

And so I'm a big fan of frameworks as I was sharing with you. And I came up with this three-point framework, which I'm happy to teach your audience. but as when I created the framework, I turned it into a podcast episode on my, on my podcast, Talk About Talk. It quickly became the number one most downloaded podcast, like far above any other episode. And I was like, there's something here. So I wrote it up and I sent it to HBR and they published it the next week. That was in 2022.

And a year later, so in 2023, it was one of the three most downloaded articles on HBR.org. And so to answer your question, the reason why it's so popular, the reason it went viral, actually there's a couple reasons. One, many of us are challenged with how to introduce ourselves. Like, it's a common challenge for us, right? The other thing is, this framework works. It is a simple three-point framework that you can easily remember and customize for, for any context. And in addition to the context of introducing yourself being really common, it actually really is important. So back to what I said at the beginning, people recognize that your self-introduction is the most direct way you have of reinforcing your identity with other people. It's your words from you about you, right? And so you can mess up, you can make it okay,

or you can knock it out of the park. And the people that I work with, they really want to knock it out of the park. So this framework helps them do that. Well, excellent. Let's definitely dive into that. And I think about just, you know, yesterday I was speaking at Marriott. And, you know, afterwards there was like the social. And of course people had heard me speak already. So they knew who I was. But I just was putting myself in that situation as I'm listening to you. You know, that we have these situations where maybe we don't know anyone. It can be anxiety provoking. Maybe we're an introvert instead of an extrovert. So there's all these like barriers to the introduction and how does this fit with like your understanding of personal branding because i'd love to

you know you have a unique perspective on that so how does introductions relate to personal branding so i already said right that i i like to reinforce this point that your self introduction is the most direct way that you have to communicate and then reinforce your personal brand because it's your words from you about you. So my definition of personal branding is basically your brand is your reputation or your identity. And so the work on personal branding is about being yourself, your whole self, your true self and your best self. So being yourself on purpose. And the on purpose part is unapologetically, in a strategic and disciplined way, thinking about who you are, getting really crystal clear on your unique strengths and then sharing it with the world.

So step one is getting really clear on identifying and articulating, I call them your personal brand themes, right? So your list of credentials, your character, your leadership style, all of those things, getting really crystal clear on them. So you know what your unique strengths are. And then step two is communicating them. So this self-introduction framework I can teach it to anyone, even if they haven't done the work on their personal brand. And then we do the work on their personal brand and you integrate your personal brand themes into the self-introduction framework. And it is gold. Okay.

Let's dive in. So what are the three steps of the self-introduction framework? So when I'm just going to warn people, you don't need to take notes here. It is so simple that when I submitted this article to Harvard Business Review, it was originally called, the three-step framework to introduce yourself and they changed it. They're like, no, it's the simple framework. I'm like, okay, it is. You're right, it is. I don't like it. So it's, it's three steps. It's present, past, future. So it's not chronological. Many people make the mistake. They're like, tell me about yourself, Sandra. And you're like, well, I graduated from college and blah,

blah, blah, blah. And then I did this. And it's like, no, no, no, we're not asking you for your epic bio. And also, you're not really serving yourself by following chronology, right? instead anchor yourself first in the present who you are and what you do it can be as simple as hi my name is dr andrea wachnicki i'm a communication coach at talk about talk so who you are your title and your organization if you have done the work on your personal brand you can also say what distinguishes me compared to other whatever industry you're in is my ability to whatever so but it's present tense okay got it then you move to the past and this is where in a professional context in particular,

you identify one or two or three strengths that you have to help you establish credibility. And that's really the big point. So you could say, my leadership style is whatever. I'm a collaborative leader. Three examples from the past of when I've demonstrated this, depending on, are you standing in front of a room introducing yourself? Are you at a networking event introducing yourself?

are you in a job interview interviewing yourself? So of course what you're going to say is going to be different. One of the big learnings here with this framework or I guess benefits is it is fully customizable. I am not a fan at all of scripts. Frameworks, yes, scripts, no. So some of my clients have asked me, can you help me with my elevator pitch and I say, no, I can't. I can help you identify what your themes are and share a framework with you where you will, you know, integrate them together. So anyway, the step two is past tense. It's where you establish credibility, depending on the context, depending on whether you should be speaking for 30 seconds or three minutes, right?

You're going to mention one or two or three things about your past to help you establish credibility and achieve whatever the goal is for that self-introduction. Most people will end their self-introduction there, right? We've all been in the situation where we're going around the table or around the room, around the screens on our yeah and someone's introducing themselves

and you know you're next you don't want to interrupt them it's kind of awkward right they kind of slow down and you're like are you done yeah okay and then you go right so if you end yourself

introduction with the past and you don't punctuate it with something at the end people will be wondering if you're done yet it can be a little bit awkward and you're not optimizing it So here's how you optimize the conclusion of your self-introduction.

Step three is future-oriented. So you punctuate your self-introduction with an enthusiastic statement about the future. And both of those elements are important, the enthusiasm and the future. And this is actually really easy. It's one or two sentences. So if I was introducing myself to you, I would say, and I'm really looking forward to this conversation that we're going to have on your podcast. That's it.

If you're at a networking event, I'm really looking forward. to meeting you and others and, you know, hearing the keynote speaker later in the evening. Done. If you're in a job interview, you say, I'm really looking forward to learning more about this role and about this company because I think I would be a great fit. So you make it about the other person, what you're doing right here and right now, and you make it future-oriented, and you make it enthusiastic. I do love Dr. Andrea, how simple that is, present, past, future. So don't go in order. It's not past, present future.

Yeah. Present past future. And I appreciate the end that it's really about the person and how you want to connect with the person or the event, right? Because I think sometimes people get so worried that they're going to be arrogant or, you know, it's going to be all about them. How long should this introduction be when we follow this present, past future? I love this question.

I think it's a really important question because it's one of the things that makes us anxious. I don't want to take up too much air time and speak more than everyone else because then it seems like I'm full of myself, but I do want to share important things and I don't want to regret not saying something later. So here's my guideline on that. If you are sitting at a meeting table, right, and you're going around and you're the first person, do the quick math. How many people are here? How long is the meeting? How long should the introductions take? Usually it's less time than you think. And actually, if you're one of the first few people, you could even say, we've got a packed agenda, I'm just going to spend 30 seconds. And then you're queuing everybody else to do the same thing. If you are, you know, halfway around the table or towards the end of the table, my rule is just do a quick assessment. It's not like you're literally writing this down, right, or doing math in your head or anything like that, but do a quick assessment of about what the average amount of time is that everyone else is speaking. And you, you want to be slightly less than that. So less really is more. And the point here is now that you have

this framework, present, past, future, you're going to get more in and you're going to make a better impression in your kind of average or slightly average amount of time that you're taking compared to everyone else than everybody else is. You're going to sound really eloquent. And when I think about the power of introductions, you know, not only does that allow to connect with a person and but you know you think about what can happen from networking and how that can grow your career so why is having a powerful introduction essential to your success i mean i i keep saying this but it is the most direct way you have of reinforcing your identity or your brand because it is your words from you about you so if you're introducing yourself to someone that you've never met before

they literally know nothing. They've probably done a quick assessment. We're always sending signals direct and implicit, right? We're looking at each other for facial expressions and body language and tone of voice and, you know, all of it, all of it. It's almost overwhelming. So if you can make a little bit of effort in optimizing your self-introduction, again, because it's your words from you about you, it is the most direct way that people

will have of really updating their perceptions of you. And I say even if people, even if you already know people, they may hear you introducing yourself to others that are around you that, you know, the two of you haven't met yet or whatever. And very often we are reintroducing ourselves to people that we've met because, you know, a new person joins the team and the boss says, let's go around the table and introduce ourselves so that, you know, Jane can get to know all of us. Your colleagues are listening to how you're introducing yourself. So it is very important. I love it. Can you give us an example of how you might introduce yourself?

And let's say it's like at a networking event this weekend. Okay. So I'm going to a networking event. And, you know, so I'm going to give another piece of advice. I'm a huge fan of the power of three. So I just had this image. This happened recently. I walk into an event that a friend of mine is running. Right. And I didn't know anyone there except for him. So I walk in, I'm like, is my name on the thing? Yeah, here's your name tag. I put my name tag on. I walk into the event. I see there's a bar. I walk over. I got myself a glass of red wine. And then I turn to the sea of strangers. And I say, oh boy, I am an extreme extrovert. Okay. I love chatting with people, friends and strangers. But it still is awkward for sure. I see you nodding your head. awkward for me too, even though I would describe myself as an extrovert. I can tell you. Oh, the poor introverts.

Yeah. Yeah. So introverts just take this to heart. It is awkward for all of us. It's not like a signal of anyone being weird because so you look at the sea of strangers. Here's my advice. Find three people that are chatting with each other. Three really is.

There's power in this number. I'm a huge fan of the power of three. But even in this context, if there's a single person and you, you know, or there's someone, you know, I'll go talk to them. Great. You're probably rescuing them from being all alone, but you're stuck talking to one person. Okay. If you walk up to two people that are talking, you are by definition interrupting a dialogue. If you walk up to three people, they'll probably all turn to you. You briefly introduce yourself, whatever you say to them. and then one of two things are going to happen. Either the four of you are going to have a conversation

or it's going to break off into two diads. And you're not, you're not interrupting. So the issue with going up to two people is you become the third wheel. So I just wanted to share that tidbit. I'm a huge fan of the power of three. So walk up to, and it also will help alleviate some of your awkwardness or your lack of confidence.

So when you're scanning the room, you're like, who do I talk to? And then you have in your head this little insight about finding three people, it kind of distracts you from your nervousness. Okay. So this is literally what I did. I saw a table. There were three guys who I've never met before leaning against like one of those

standing bar tables. Yes. And I went over and they politely turned and said, hello. And I said, hi, my name's, my name's Andrea. And they're like, so we were just introducing ourselves. Why don't you introduce yourself? And I'm like, okay, I have no idea who they are. Right.

Like there's a young guy, an older guy. I didn't know if they ever met each other. And I just said, my name is Andrea Wachnicki. I'm an executive communication coach. My company is called Talk About Talk. I coach ambitious executives to communicate with confidence and credibility so they can achieve their career goals. And previously, I earned my doctorate at Harvard Business School,

where my research focused on interpersonal communication. And I taught marketing at the University of Toronto in the MBA program. I started my company Talk About Talk about talk about six years ago, and I have over 200 podcast episodes, and I'm writing a book. And I'm really looking forward to meeting all of you and hearing the keynote speaker that's coming up in an hour. So, yeah, and then they were like, oh, and then, right? Snaps on that. Yeah. Oh, it was like, present.

Here's what I do. And I'm like, I know these people are here because they're ambitious executives that are looking to, you know, make connections and improve. So I'm like, I'm talking directly to that. And then in the past part, I'm like, there's so many coaches out there. How can I distinguish myself was probably my academic background. And then the future is like I'm handing it back to them.

I want to get to know you. I'm excited to hear about what you do. And also all of us are excited to hear about the keynote speaker. Boom. Excellent. And it brings it back to them. And what I just heard in that was like, wow, that was really impressive.

because you did pack into so much until like present, what you're doing now, but then you gave yourself credibility. And I think people don't go back to the past very often like you just did. And then, again, love the way that you ended that. Dr. Andrea, I have a question because we've been talking a lot about confidence here on the high performance mindset with my book coming out in just a short time, the confidence habit. What does confidence have to do with communication and introducing yourself? And what advice can give us there? I mean, there's so much overlap. So, Sandra, I told you that I think in frameworks and I think kind of visually, I can imagine a Venn diagram with self-introductions and personal branding and confidence and like they're all really overlapped.

There's so much overlap there. So one thing that I would say is in terms of self-introductions, a lot of people know rationally that it's important to share your, unique strengths, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's important to tell people what your, you know, what your, what your brand is, what your unique strengths are. But they don't want to, this is the, this is, um, you and I were talking about a friend of mine who has a book called bragging rights. And, and it's about like promoting yourself can feel icky, right? So here's my take on that. There is arrogant people. So a lot of people worry that they may come across as arrogant. to self-promotional.

Folks that are arrogant think they're good at everything, right? People that have this beautiful equilibrium level of confidence, they are crystal clear on their unique strength. So I think of it as a continuum. Like imagine a line, okay? And on one side we have anxiety, nervousness, and imposter syndrome. This is lack of confidence. on the other extreme end of this line, we have overconfidence or arrogance.

And in the middle we have this beautiful level of confidence. And I know I'm preaching to the choir here, Cindra, this is what you're all about. One of the things that I've noticed is that the people that are closed off, they don't have a growth mindset and they think they know everything, or at least they act as if they know everything. Sometimes they actually are impostors in their mind, but they come across as they think they know everything. Those are the people that come across as arrogant. If you are crystal clear on your unique strengths, there's nothing arrogant about that. And in fact, you're doing your organization a favor by telling them, here's what I'm really good at. Here's what I'm passionate about. Here's where I have expertise and skills. They can get the most out of you. Like, imagine you're on a sports team, which is a great analogy. The coach needs to know, and through observation, but even through you telling them, like, what your strengths are, right? Are you a kicker? Are you a defender? Are you, like, what role can you best play on the team? I think it's the same in business. So telling people what your strengths are, it does not come across as arrogant. That's the big thing. And if you can put that into your self-introduction and reinforce it,

you will be more successful and frankly happier than you ever would be because you're going to be, you're going to be invited to do more of what you love and what you're good at. Hi, this is Cinder Campoff and thanks for listening to the high performance mindset. Did you know that the ideas we share in the show are things we actually specialize in implementing? If you want to become mentally stronger, lead your team more effectively and get to your goals quicker. Visit free mental breakthrough call.com to sign up for your free mental breakthrough call with one of our certified coaches.

Again, that's free mental breakthrough call.com to sign up for your free call. Talk to you soon. Excellent. And so do you think that we'd put our strengths in the present part of the introduction or what would you recommend? And as people are listening and they're thinking, oh, Dr. Andrea, I don't even know what my strengths are. How do I identify those?

Like, where would we start there? Oh gosh. Okay. So to answer the first question for the self-introduction, I think the, um, Your strengths go in the present and the past both. Okay, perfect. So in the present part, you're like, this is who I am, what I do, where I do it. And then you can say something like, what distinguishes me compared to other, whatever your industry is.

And or in the past part where you're talking about what your unique strengths are and your establishing credibility. So how do you find what your unique strengths are? I spend most of my day, every day, Sandra, thinking about this and coaching people on this. So I love the question. It is a combination of internal and external input. So it's related to self-awareness, and there is internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.

So like the first thing I would do is take out a blank sheet of paper and ask yourself, what distinguishes me compared to and then compare, compared to what? Compared to my colleagues at work, compared to other people who do what I do at other companies, compared to my friends, compared to my family, compared to my book club, compared to the folks that I work out with, whatever context where you can think of people that know you and you know them,

what distinguishes you? And this will start to open up some themes of things that may distinguish you. And then you can also ask people, like, compared to other people who do what I do, what do you think distinguishes me? And you're not asking people to give you paragraphs, just like in point form. What are the things when you think of me that really distinguish me? And then, because here's the thing. It's relatively easy to come up with a list of your strengths and weaknesses, but to come up with your unique strengths and passions, some people, they fall into this habit or trap of telling people what they think they're looking for. So I've coached folks who are on the job market and they're like, I get first round interviews.

I never get invited to the second round interview. And then I ask the person, okay, let's work on your personal brand. What do you think your unique strengths are? And their answer is like literally, well, when the interviewers in the room, the things that they're looking for are blah, blah, blah. I'm like, that's not the question, right? And then this, I'm thinking about this woman in particular, she had this epiphany. She was like, the reason I'm not getting invited to second round interviews is because I'm telling the interviewer what I think they want to hear instead of telling them my truth. I was like, bingo.

So let me ask you again, what are your unique strengths? And she said, oh, so like technically I have all the skills, but my real superpower is being a collaborative leader. So I work in human resources, which many people think it's like. the police, but I don't position myself that way. I'm a true collaborator with all the other functions, helping them build their people and their business and la la, la, and she just went off. And she started, and I was like, there you go. That's your superpower. That's your brand. That's how you need to be introducing yourself. And when they ask you the question, what are your unique strengths? You're not even thinking about what they're looking for. You're telling them your truth. Again, back to the definition.

This is your whole true and best self, right? Awesome. I just finished some, interviews and the same kind of thing happened to me where, you know, I interviewed six people. And if they didn't really tell me anything unique about them, it was like, okay, what's going to make you stand out? That's what I won here. So I have a five word. I have a five word mantra. I wasn't saying stop. I was saying five words. I realized when I put my hand up. Yeah, when the, when the communication coach sticks her hand up in the air and the person stops and she's like, no, no, I didn't mean stop. I meant. I have a. five-word mantra that I think distills this whole point about really focusing on your unique

strengths. And the mantra is, unique is better than better. Ooh, cool. I know. I love that. And if you, here's my insight that I've, that I've observed. if you can turn the switch in your brain from trying to be better at everything and trying to position yourself and conform to other's expectations and instead double down on your unique strengths, that's when the magic happens. That's amazing. One time I was at a Tony Robbins event, and this is maybe like seven or eight years ago, Andrea, and maybe 10. And, you know, it was day two of the events. You kind of had your guard down. And one guy said to me, it was a complete stranger. I wish I would have remembered who he was.

But he said, you know, your energy is your superpower. And before that, Andrea, I was kind of like trying to push my energy down. I worked with a lot of, like, football teams and athletic teams. And I didn't want to be seen as like a ditsy or something like that. And then after he said that to me, I was like, you know, I think that is one of my superpowers. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I have so much. So I've done, I've done the research on this. So I didn't, I didn't personally do the research, but I read other people's research on this. Cool. So your enthusiasm and your energy absolutely can be your superpower. And it's, even if it's not listeners here, they're like, well, that's not my superpower. Okay. I know from coaching hundreds and hundreds of people that women in particular, will downplay their enthusiasm because they don't want to seem flaky, which is exactly what you said.

And here's what I have to say about that. Two things. One is, if you're aware of it, you're not. It's kind of like the arrogance thing. If you're concerned about sounding arrogant, I can almost guarantee you don't sound arrogant. It's the people who don't even worry about it that sound arrogant. So the same with enthusiasm. If you're worried about it, so I'm probably like you, Sandra, I write an email and then I proofread it. And as I'm going through it, I'm like, let's pull a few of those exclamation marks out of there because it might make you sound a bit flaky. So I'm aware of it. You're aware of it, right? Yes. Here's the thing. The research shows, I'm going to say, quite conclusively across contexts that enthusiasm wins. So what do I mean by that? Enthusiastic negotiators get invited back to the negotiation table. enthusiastic job candidates, all else equal, they get the job.

I've had this experience when I was on a hiring committee, we narrowed it down to two women who had different backgrounds, but both of them were overqualified for the job and they both really wanted the job. So we brought them in for final rounds. And one of them made a few comments about, you know, I would move here and my son would go to this school and I'm so excited. My whole family's, and so when we made the final decision, it was like, they're both great. This one is even more excited. She got the job, right? So, so negotiations, job interviewing,

sales. So the research on sales is that as long as you don't become, you know, like the, the cheesy kind of over the top car sales guy, kind of, you can go too far in sales, but all else equal, as long as you don't hit that threshold, the enthusiastic salesperson closes the sale. I could go on. The other one, which is relevant to you and I, is the enthusiastic teacher is more successful in encouraging clients and students to learn. I mean, they do learn more, right?

So don't hold back on your enthusiasm. I say, like, the third point in the self-introduction framework, you could say, I'm really excited about, or I'm keen about, or I'm looking forward to, or you could even say, I'm really enthusiastic. to and then whatever it is, right? You can literally use the word knowing that the research says

enthusiasm wins. Excellent. And you know, what I noticed is just as I have been embracing that more as like a superpower for me. It's actually how I connect with other people and how I stand out. And, you know, I've kind of now accepted that

as like that's who I am. And so if people don't really love the passion, that's okay too, you know? Good for you. at my best and that's how I come alive and I feel great. So it's such a beautiful example, Cindra, unique is better than better, right? You know that this is your unique thing. That doesn't mean, you know, better might be, I don't know, whatever it might. I can't imagine what else it would be, frankly, but there might be some other criteria that you're, or characteristic,

that you're looking to develop. But doubling down on you, of course, it doesn't mean that we should be ignoring our areas for development, right? For sure. But when we're talking about our personal brand, we're talking about amplifying our unique strengths, period. Yeah. That's absolutely true. And so I think one of your unique strengths is your ability to break things down and

to really make it simple for us. And I love just like your thoughts about frameworks and how that really helps people teach things. What are some of your other strengths and your unique ability? Ooh. So I'm writing a book right now and the whole thing about frameworks is I just wrote yesterday an email to the publisher and the editor. And I was saying, like, I realize my frameworks are getting out of hand because we have all of these illustrations and graphics in the book and we need to dial it back. Right.

So yeah. But I automatically go to lists or how to graphically illustrate something. some of my other strengths, I would say similar to you, my energy and enthusiasm. I actually have a personal brand template that I keep updated. I use it as an example when I'm coaching my clients on their personal brand. So I've got like 14 themes actually on it because it's personal and professional things. It includes my credentials and my character and the context. So the more demographic things.

So some of the things that are on there in terms of my character, my personality, my leadership style, for sure. Energy and enthusiasm is one of them. Being conscientious and having high standards for myself and others. So I hold myself to very high standard. I hold my family to high standard. I hold my clients to a high standard, right? Like I will say to them, you can do better. Like I know you can do better.

And I get the nod from them. And they're like, yeah, I know. And I'm like, okay, that's why we're here. Don't worry. So high standards is another one. And then one of my unique strengths, I think, compared to other coaches and speakers is that what I'm teaching is grounded in academic research. So, you know, the handbook of social psychology is like my friend. I love that.

Yeah, I'm double checking things. I make observations also of. certain patterns of behavior in my coaching and then I will check it and see if it's validated by research. So last summer when I was starting to write my book and I was really doubling down on this idea of unique is better than better. And when I had this observation that when I help my clients get really, really clear on their specific strengths that their confidence is, they feel more confident and they and they start like internally they feel it and then they start expressing it and then other people are commenting on it like something's changed Jennifer what what what what did

you and they're like I did some work on my personal brand and so I was reading in the handbook of social psychology and this sentence came up which is self concept clarity drives self-esteem oh wow there we go there we go that is exactly what I've been observing so I think this is one of my superpowers actually is identifying um it works both ways right so I I know some of the academic literature and the research, and then I put it into practice. And also, I'm meeting people observing the patterns of what's going on. And then I'm finding the research that backs up or explains what's going on. Yeah.

That is something I do as well, because I don't want to just make it up, you know, and I want it to be based on research. I think that has to do with our PhDs and our doctorate. Yeah. That's amazing. Okay. I love this idea of self-concept clarifies. Self-concept clarity drives self-esteem. So if we put that into like everyday terms,

it means when you get clear on who you are and your personal brand, that's going to keep growing your confidence and you're like your worth. Boom! Drop the mic, Cindra. Drop the mic. So when I read that sentence,

I remember I was sitting on my back deck, I'm reading, and I was like, and I stood up. I was like, I did the happy dance. I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's it. That's it. Awesome. Okay. I want to ask you about one of your frameworks because it was really intriguing. So tell us about the 4P framework, what it is and how does it connect with what we've talked about so far? Sure. Okay. So when I coach people, I feel like I'm, again, preaching to the choir here, Sandra, but I mean, I could talk to you all day about this. We could brainstorm and pull something together too here. When I coach folks on confidence, I, like to think about the fact that we're all different and different things work for different people. So there's like a huge, like a library catalog I was going to say of things that might work for you.

I had this epiphany when I was in my 20s and I was working as a brand manager and I was asked to speak at a national conference. I'm going to just tell a story really quickly, but you'll get the point. This is like how I came up with this whole focus on confidence. You know, I was a relatively probably average speaker and this was a big deal. This was like all eyes are on you in the company. You're getting up. You're presenting the brand plan. Whatever.

I was very well prepared. Again, I'm conscientious. I have high standards. I was very well prepared. I'd memorize my speech. I created my slides, whatever. As soon as I put my foot on stage, I lost it. I could feel my body temperature spike.

I started sweating. I started shaking. I could feel my face turning red. My hands also turned. I used to be a figure skater. I know this. Whenever I was skating, my hands would turn red.

My face turned red. My hands turned red. As I was walking out on stage, I was like, I wasn't going to stand behind the podium. And I wasn't going to read my script, which I had in front of me, but I think I'm going to have to.

So I stood behind the podium, shaking, delivered, like reading it, reading it, not looking up. And then I didn't even look up and say, thank you. I just be lined off the stage and my boss. said, are you okay? And I was like, no, and I need a minute. And I went to the fire,

fire exit, actually, and I closed the door. And I did not cry, but I thought, this cannot happen again. This cannot happen again. That was a CLM, a career limiting move. Ooh, I'm like, career limiting move. Instead of saying, Andrea, you need to avoid getting on stage, I said, you need to get on stage every chance you get. So that's like the P is practice. Awesome. And what else are you going to do? And I sort of, implicitly thought to myself, you need to practice, but you also need to figure out what works for you. And I think about this story a lot because now when I'm coaching people, like I'm telling them, I sweat so much on stage, Cindra, that I, the dry cleaner could not get the sweat stains out of my blazer.

Like, I'm not lying. It was vile. It was a horrific experience, right? For some reason, I didn't think. out to you. We've always been experiences like that where we didn't perform at our best and pressure moments. Yeah. So instead of giving up though, I don't know why. Maybe it's just my upbringing, but I was like, I'm going to nail this. Like, I'm going to learn how to do this. So I started collecting back to your original question. And now as a coach, I realized different things work for different people. So there are mindsets and specific things you can say, things you can do, self-talk. So I came up with the four piece, which is like an easy way of thinking about what are some of the things I can do to boost my confidence.

Number one, practice. So practice does make perfect. Muscle memory is real. The more you practice. And so if you're giving an important speech or leading an important meeting, go to the room where you're going to do the presentation. Check it out. If you can practice there or even, I mean, I've done this in hotel rooms where I'm giving a big talk, I will face the window and imagine that it's the audience and give my whatever 30 minute talk. So practice, practice, practice. The next P is pep talk. So I had this opportunity once to do improv, believe it or not, on stage with some comedians.

And I was very nervous about it, even though I was a speaker at that time. And I called a friend of mine who's a coach. And I said, can you give me a pep talk? And she said, sure. And then she told me things that are true about myself. And I was like, okay, okay. And then when I was on stage, her words were in my mind. So you can ask a trusted colleague and trust me, they will be flattered that you ask them.

So ask someone to give you a pep talk. The next P is proverb. So this is when you basically, it's self-talk. Is there a mantra that you can say to yourself? So mine is, Andrea, you got this, right? And back to the research point, you and I both do research. So there is research that shows when yourself, talk is in second person. So you refer to yourself as you. Instead of saying, I've got this,

I say, Andrea, you got this. Because my brain will believe someone else talking to me, more than it will believe myself talking to me. So create a mantra in second person. That's proverb. And then the last P is pirate. And so what I mean by pirate is copying or emulating someone else's confident. So I had this experience of being on stage at the University of Toronto on stage. It literally was a stage. It was in Convocation Hall. I was giving a 90-minute lecture to a bunch of undergrads. And I was used to teaching like 80 students in the MBA classroom. When I went in to this convocation hall, I was like, what? There's like a thousand people here. There's a spotlight on me. And I had this like thought, I feel like Madonna. I feel like a rock star.

And then I thought to myself, what would Madonna do? That's awesome. If Madonna was in my brain right now. So I look like Andrea. I know the content like Andrea, but I had Madonna's personality in my brain. And I was like, well, she would rock it. She'd be like, hey, so I started pretending I was like Madonna. And it was seriously the best lecture I have ever delivered.

Like when I was done, the students were running towards this, not running. They were coming towards a stage. When do you have office hours? Do you teach anything in the undergrad? program, and I was like, thank you, Madonna. So the last P, pirate. So pirate, copy or emulate someone else's confidence. You could also copy your own confidence from a time when you knocked it out of the park. So now I think back to that time, if I'm ever in front of a massive audience and I'm like, remember how you felt when you did that, Andrea? You can do it again. So it's practice,

pep talk, proverb, and pirate. I love those. Some of the ways we can boost our confidence. Yeah. I love those. You know, it makes me think about one of my best talks ever was in Denver. I went for a run that morning and I listened to Brne Brown the whole time. And then I think I was pirating her on the stage. And afterwards, it was wild, Andrea. I did crush it. And afterwards, who were coming up to me and they wanted to buy my book and blah, blah, blah. And one person said, you sounded like Bray Brown today. Oh, yes. I was like, that was my Madonna that day. So, Sandra, now you also have that experience. So you can channel her, but what might work now even better for you, like for me, right, is remember how you felt when you were on stage. It's also more authentic to emulate your own best experience than someone else's, right? That's true.

Yeah. I felt like I was really connected and real and honest. You know, that's how I would describe it. The way she is. Yeah. I love that story. Andrea, you and I, we could speak for days. So this was absolutely fantastic.

I loved your self-introduction framework that you shared with us today and just like your thoughts about what personal brand is. Remember the three that we talked about. We're starting with the present first, then go to the past and then go to the future. We talked about understanding what your unique strengths are so that you can incorporate that into the present or the past. and we talked about arrogance and what that really is. I thought that was really fascinating. Unique is better than better. Please tweet that and tag Andrea.

And then I loved at the end when we talked about these four ways to grow our confidence, the four P's, practice peptoch proverb and pirate. Andrea, please tell people how they can find more about your work, your coaching, your podcast, all the things, because I know people are going to want to go follow you. Thank you so much. So there are really two ways that you can follow me or connect with me. First is LinkedIn.

I'm on LinkedIn every day. I need to back off. I actually really enjoy LinkedIn. I know it's not all perfect. But anyway, I'm on LinkedIn. It's just my name, Andrea Wajnicki. And you can also follow Talk About Talk there. But my website, which is talkabout talk.com, everything's there.

So including links to the podcast and all of the other ways that I connect with people. coaching workshops, all of it, it's all there. Amazing. Talkabouttalk.com. Andrew, what final thoughts or advice would you have to give to people to help them be their best even more often? I'm going to go back and reinforce the unique is better than better phrase. If there's one message that I hope people get from this conversation, it's that taking a little bit of time to identify and articulate your unique strengths will help you be happier and more successful than you ever would be. Boom. Thank you so much for joining us here on the high performance mindset podcast. We appreciate you. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance

mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes. and enjoy my exclusive community for high performers, where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can add over to Dr. Sindra. That's d R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.