High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 781: How to Stop Fear of Failure From Holding You Back

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

What would you do today if you weren't afraid to fail? Fear of failure can keep us from applying for the opportunity, speaking up, starting something new, or having the difficult conversation. But failure doesn't define who you are. It's an event that can give you feedback, information, and a chance to grow. In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff explains why confident people still experience fear and how to keep that fear from making your decisions. She shares how redefining success around what you can control can take power away from failure and help you move forward with more courage. You'll also learn Cindra's Learn, Burn, Return strategy for responding when things don't go your way: learn from the experience, let go of what isn't serving you, and return to your previous level of confidence. This week, ask yourself: How am I defining failure? What does success look like if I define it by what I can control? What would I do today if I wasn't afraid to fail? Then take one action. Confidence doesn't come from knowing you'll succeed. It comes from knowing you can handle whatever happens. Power Phrase: "Fear doesn't make my decisions."   To buy Cindra's new book: confidencetools.com To download our full study report, visit: confidencestudy.com To request a Free Breakthrough Call with a Mentally Strong Coach, visit: freementalbreakthroughcall.com To learn more about the Mentally Strong Institute, visit: mentallystronginstitute.com To learn about Dr. Cindra Kamphoff's speaking and coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com To follow Dr. Cindra on Instagram, visit: @cindrakamphoff

Hi friends. My name is Dr. Sindra Campoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week, I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode, focus on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. I'd like to start with this one to get people thinking, failure is an event. It is not your identity. So what are we talking about today? Well, Seth, I wanted to talk about something that I see holding many of us back, and that's fear of failure.

You know, we don't apply for the job because what if I don't get it? Or we don't start the business because what if it doesn't work? Or we don't speak up because what if I say something wrong? And sometimes we call that being cautious or realistic, but underneath it is often this question, what if I fail? Why is failure so scary to us? Because we often make failure mean more than it actually is. And that's why I wanted to start with that quote. So instead of thinking, like, I failed at something, we start thinking, I'm a failure. And those are two different completely things, the two completely different things. Because failure is something that's happened. It's feedback, it's information. It's something that we did, not who we are. It can teach us what we can do differently next time. But it doesn't define it like who we are. But knowing that doesn't necessarily make the fear go away, right?

Yeah, that's true. And it's something that I talk about in the confidence habit, my new book. And we tend to think confidence means we don't feel fear, but confident people still experience fear. They just don't let fear make the decision. Because confidence isn't the absence of fear. It's choosing to move forward even when fear is present. And that's really what courage is. And every time you do that, you're teaching your brain, like, I can be afraid and still act. And that's a deposit in your confidence bank each time. So how do we stop fear of failure from controlling us? First, I think we have to ask a really important question. And that's like, what does failure actually mean to you? And most of us have never really defined it. We just inherit a definition. And failure means, you know, I didn't win or I didn't get the promotion or I didn't hit the number that I wanted or someone rejected me.

But those are just outcomes. Are they really failures? And what if you got rejected, you know, but you had the courage to put yourself out there. Yes, what if you lost, but you performed better than you've ever, you know, had before? Yes, what if that business didn't work, but you learned something that changed the direction of your life? So I think one important thing is to define failure on your own terms. So maybe some of the things we call failures aren't actually failures. Yeah, exactly. That's true. And sometimes I wonder if there was, you know, even such a thing as

failure. If we were willing to learn from the experience and maybe failure isn't getting an outcome you did, you know, you wanted, maybe failure is refusing to try because you are afraid of what might happen. Maybe failure is just any time you didn't show up as yourself. And that's why I want people to define success and failure for themselves because you, before you go into that interview or that presentation or let's say that competition or that difficult conversation, you want to ask yourself, what does success look like today? that's completely within my control because success is being courageous. Maybe it's being well prepared.

Maybe it's speaking up. Maybe it's giving your best effort. And when you define success by what you can control, failure starts to lose some of its power. So you're saying the goal isn't to guarantee success? Yeah, that's true because we can't guarantee the outcome, but we can control our response. And so one of the ideas that I talk about in the confidence habit book is this tool called learn burn return. And when something doesn't go your way, you want to just ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Like, what would I do differently next time? And then burn is like,

okay, how can I let it go? And return is, you know, how can I get back to the same confidence level that I had before? Because failure doesn't have to be something you carry around with you, right? This week or for a month or for 10 years, you can learn from it. And then let go of what isn't serving you and return your confidence to where it was before. So what is? So what is, is the challenge for everyone listening today? Okay, the challenge is think about one thing fear of failure has been keeping you from doing. Maybe it's making that call or applying for that opportunity or having the conversation or maybe sharing an idea and start something you've been thinking about for months and then ask yourself three questions. How am I defining failure? What does

success look like if I defined it by what I can control? And what would I do today if I wasn't afraid to fail? And then just take one action because confidence doesn't come from knowing you're going to succeed. Confidence comes from knowing, you know, whatever has happened, I can handle it. And what is our power phrase for today? All right. Fear doesn't make my decisions. And Seth, what's important is maybe the opposite of failure isn't success. Maybe the opposite of failure is courage, the courage to try to learn and keep going. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump.

Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and enjoy my exclusive community for high performers, where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can add over to Dr. Sindra. That's d-R-C-I-N-D-R-A. See you next week.