High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 784: Why Resolutions Fail and How to Start Again with Intention with Jobert E. Abueva, Author, TEDx Speaker, and Global Marketing Executive

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

What if the key to achieving your goals isn't pushing harder, but taking time to reflect on where you've been? In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with Jobert Abueva, author, TEDx speaker, and global marketing executive, to explore why traditional resolutions often fail and how we can create meaningful, lasting change through intentional reflection. Jobert shares his personal experience with burnout, the lessons that transformed his approach to success, and the six-step framework from his book, The Janus Plan. You'll discover how looking back with honesty can help you move forward with greater clarity, purpose, and confidence. In this episode, you'll learn: Why traditional resolutions fail and how to set more sustainable goals. Three powerful questions to ask yourself when facing burnout or change. How reflecting on past experiences can improve your future performance. The six steps of the Janus Plan for approaching new beginnings with intention. How to practice self-compassion while learning from mistakes and setbacks. Whether you're navigating a career transition, working toward a new goal, or simply looking to create more balance in your life, this conversation will help you pause, reflect, and move forward with intention. Learn more about Jobert E. Abueva https://joberteabueva.com/ Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Order Cindra's new Book: https://www.confidencetools.com/

Today on the high performance mindset, I'm joined by Jobert Abueva. He's an author, a TEDx speaker, and a global marketing executive. His career has taken him over four continents, including working and leading with major brands. And his own experience with burnout ultimately led him to rethink success and explore what it means to begin again with greater intention. His new book, The Janus Plan, A No Resolution's Path to Begin Your Year with Intention, is something coming out soon and will like such. to talk to him about and his work invites us to think backwards with honesty so that we can move forward with greater clarity and purpose. So welcome to the high performance mindset podcast. I'm so

excited to talk with you today. Thank you, Sandra. It's such a pleasure to be here with you. Excellent. Well, yesterday I listened to your TEDx talk called Beyond Resolutions, the art of beginning with intention. And I'd love for us to start there today. Can you make the distinction between simply setting another's resolution or another resolution and beginning with intention. Like, what's the difference? And why do you believe intention creates a better starting point for meaningful change? Absolutely. As you well know, a lot of people like to make resolutions, but we're also very good at breaking them. In fact, over 91% of resolutions are broken, even before the end of the first month of the year. And that goes to for goal setting. And I think the big difference in, you know,

order to begin with intention is to what I call taking that step back, pondering the past before we even think about how we want to frame our future. And the Janice plan, and we can talk about it in a while, is really this six-step framework to help us understand what we have really learned from the past as we start to frame the future and then determine what are the best steps forward in order to ensure that those goals sustain over time. So I think the big difference is really that first step and then having a more holistic view approach to how else. Okay, excellent. And so let's say people are listening to our conversation and it's not at the beginning of the year because most people think about resolutions in January. Why would you tell

them to keep listening to us today? Absolutely. Because there are opportunities even every day to begin again and to begin with intention. It doesn't have to be the New Year's. The New Year's is a very convenient and practical framework, if you will, but just think about beginning of the month, the week, even a day. Let's think about back to school. That is a whole new season, if you will. Whatever chapter we are faced with, whether it's tied to a new career, new classes, a new way of living as a family, that is a wonderful opportunity to really take that pause. And before we say, we are going to do this, we're going to do that,

we're going to achieve this, that. It really helps, and I've experienced it firsthand, as have others, is that if we have this structured reflection in place, it can make all the difference. In fact, in my research, Harvard Business School did point out very much so that people who do structured reflection, whether it's in business or in personal life, can improve performance by more than 23% just off the bat, which is pretty all substantial. Yeah. Excellent. So your TED Talks connects directly to your new book, The Giannis Plan.

Who's Giannis? And what can this ancient idea of looking backwards and forwards teach us about just navigating change and goal setting today? So, Sandra, I'm going to take you back to when I was nine years old. My family owned an Encyclopedia Britannica and my father's office back in the Philippines. And I was flipping through the pages and I will never forget the day that I opened up to the entry for Janus. And he was and continues to be the ancient Roman god of beginnings, endings, and transitions. And what is so incredible about him. And I was so fixated by were his two faces. He had two faces, which represented the dual vision, the face looking to the past wilds, the other face was looking to the future. So that has become an image that has stuck with me throughout the years. And when I got to my low point, my burnout, which we can also talk about, that image came back to me and it kind of helped organize my thinking, which is really appreciating and understanding what the past taught me, what led up to my downfall, if you will. It's kind of having

that past-looking face of Janus. And then looking into the future and framing what is a sustainable way to ensure that this doesn't happen again and how can I continue onward with a truer sense of myself and what motivates me and what will even make me happier and more fulfilled as a guiding principle for, the decisions I make going forward, whether it's career or personally. Tell us about your experience with burnout and how you came back to Janice. So I had the best job in the world back in the late 90s. My remit was to roll out pleril herbal essences, shampoos and conditioners, a very popular hair care brain.

Yes, of course. It was so successful when it relaunched in the late mid-90s. my job was to roll it out. I first started in central and eastern Europe, then to Israel and Turkey, and then I was assigned to Guangzhou, China, where we launched product. And then I replicated that model out of Bangkok, Thailand for the entire Asian Pacific region. So glamorous landscape, exciting strategy sessions and rolling out ad campaigns and learning. I know a lot about women's hair care habits. That's awesome.

I've sat in on more than 500 focus groups around the world. So I use those insights to develop ad campaigns and to build distribution. But the point of all this is that that is a lot of jet-setting lifestyle, overeating, over-drinkings, working non-stop around the clock, taking calls with U.S. headquarters all hours of the night. I wasn't paying attention to all those signals, which were telling me, you got to slow down. You got to take care of your well-being, your health, and I ignored it completely. And wouldn't you know it?

I'll never forget the date. September 6, 1997. Okay. It was the same day that Princess Diana's funeral was happening on television that I couldn't get out of my hotel room bed in Hong Kong. I was literally numb, almost paralyzed that scene, and that was the low point. And I just had to find a way, it did not happen overnight, but over weeks, to take that pause, almost take a sabbatical, a big timeout, to understand how I was performing, what led me to this low point, and how I could start turning the quarter so that I could make my well-being a priority,

which I had not done throughout all those three and a half years I was running around the world. So Janice came back to me during that audit, if you will. And so I really started to do that structured reflection and asking questions of myself so that I could get really brutally honest answers to what led to my downfall, as I call it, and how I could improve from there. And I'm happy to also talk about some of those questions. Yeah, let's do that. I first want to ask you about, you know, what advice that you would have for people who maybe are in a similar point where they're not really taking care of themselves and they're at the verge of burnout? Because I think that so many high achievers, people who listen to the high performance mindset podcast, like can get in that space where they're not caring for themselves. So before we go into the six steps, what advice would you give people who work a lot or, you know, just push them as ours. Yeah. Simple. And I wish.

I listened to my own advice the first time around. Pause. Take pause. And just sit with yourself. And then let's go to these three questions I like to ask. What is really working right now? Because you are a high achiever. You are meeting goals, surpassing outcomes.

That is all positive because you are an ambitious person. You are dedicated and competent. those all count. Those are positives. Then the second question is, what can I lay down? What can I let go on to ensure that I have bandwidth, that I am not overextending myself, because if I overextend myself, I become useless to everyone. So what can I lay down?

But really, the most important question is the third question. What is this episode and what are all these signals really trying to teach me? What is the lesson? It's a really simple question, but it's a lot more challenging than you'd think because you have to really be brutally honest with yourself. And that might take a while. But I think just spending time with those questions allows you to breathe to really consider, have a broader perspective on yourself and what's going on. And I think that's the first step to getting out of a difficult or challenging. burnout situation.

Excellent. So three questions, what's working right? What can I lay down or let go? And then what's the lesson here? So when you thought about... Yeah, excellent. All right. When you thought about yourself,

how did you answer these questions in 1997? And how do you still use these questions today? Yeah. I always ask these questions now, especially when I'm faced with a new opportunity or a challenge, whether professional or personal. So what I do is I love to write things down. Maybe it's my age, but I think there is a big advantage to actually answering these questions

because in a way it's a bit of journal writing, but it's also the hand-eye mind coordination where you really understand what you're putting down on paper. and then it starts to even resonate. So I like to do that. And then sometimes, as a lot of writers like yourself may know, it helps to write something, put it away, or let it simmer overnight, marinate it will. And then you revisit it in the morning

and see whether these thoughts are still holding or if you need to revise it to a newer perspective, having been refreshed for, let's say, a good night's sleep. And then keep reiterating on that until you get to a narrative that you say, yeah, that makes sense. That's really what's going on with me. And then figure out what are some concrete steps I can take to address that situation or that circumstance more directly. So it's a bit of a process. And it's all helpful.

Yeah, absolutely. So one idea I really appreciate in your work is, and you just said it, we need to, before we ask where we're going, we should ask where have I been. So why do you think looking backwards is so important to moving forwards? We are living day to day and our reality is always based on our past. It's not based from a single point or a bunch of points. It's kind of like this continuum, right? So when we figure out what we're trying to do next, everything that has happened up until the second we are reflecting on it contributes to how we see ourselves and how we view the world. And so I think there's a lot of honesty in being in touch, kind of like touching base with your whole self, not just selective parts of yourself.

it's really important because that's how we are able to show up more authentically and with more value to everyone we operate with, we engage with here on out. So I am such a big believer in this and I like even the fact that every morning, I like writing down, for example, three things I'm grateful for, one, two, three. And sometimes it can be as simple as I go. not more than seven hours of sleep, or a friend called me and gave me this great idea. Whatever it is, no matter how small or how small or how big, there is always something for every single day that is worth celebrating, acknowledging, and in a way, appreciating then use that as for as data to help you move forward in what you hope to accomplish, let's say, in the new day.

Hi friends, Dr. Sindra here, and I'm so excited to announce that my new book, published by Simon & Schuster, is now available titled The Confidence Habit. Our national research study on confidence showed there is a confidence crisis in America today. One in two Gen Zers and young millennials feel like they are not enough. Women still scored lower on all markers of confidence compared to men. And this book provides the tangible research-backed strategies to grow your confidence, and I can't wait for you to read. it. You can head over to ConfidenceTools.com to purchase your copy where there's over $594 of bonuses over there. Again, check it out at ConfidenceTools.com, and I can't wait to hear what to think about it. Yeah, excellent. And so tell us a bit about the six-step framework that you have.

And are the three questions part of that? Maybe just walk us through that. They are. Yeah, the three questions are part of step one. So step one is pondered the past. Let's just use a new year framework. But again, like I said, could be for any threshold. So what did I really accomplish? That's incredible because that's worth celebrating. And then, as I said, what can I lay down or consider differently?

And I want a true lesson. So that's step one, longer the past. And I have different exercises and prompts to help folks with that. And then step two is to frame the future. To start thinking about what theme do I want to bring into the new year. and then to start developing goals. But the difference is that the goals are based on what you have done in pondering the past because you start thinking about the lessons and the implications,

as opposed to just coming up with resolutions or goals in a vacuum. And that's why the step one to two connection is so important. Step three is to nudge the now. There is something that is always something we procrastinate. on or something that is a stumbling block that keeps us from moving forward. Again, it could be as simple as a junk drawer that you've been wanting to deal with. Just something to kick off our momentum. Step four, tied to that is clean and clear.

It's not only cleaning and clearing, decluttering our surroundings. It's also giving up extra baggage, whether it's emotional, psychological. I also say even digital. I believe in digital detoxing. That's important to the process. Then step five is revel and ritual. You know how we do the countdown towards the end of a new year. I think it's really important for us to appreciate the symbolism behind where we have been and where we are going. And it's kind of like walking through that threshold, if you will. And one of the things I like to do in the book is talk about all the New Year's traditions around the world, because every culture has its own variation on crossing through that threshold. It's kind of fun. Some are super

statisticious, but some are also very thoughtful. And then step six is the revisit and reignite cycle. It's not just the once and done. We have opportunities every month to do a month in review, even a month in preview, look at the quarter, see what's working, what's not, and not be afraid to pivot, to refine our goals, because again, life is happening. There are some conditions that may be out of our control, external circumstances, but there are also things we can control. And so, again, it comes back to having that regular pause before we move forward. So that's steps one through six in a nutshell. And what I talked about in the TEDx talk that comprises the Janice plan. Excellent. So tell us a bit about how we might use this. I mean, it makes sense at the beginning

of the year to be able to take a step back and use these six steps. But I'm sure it's beneficial throughout the year. So tell us, like, what would be your recommendation for using these six steps? Sure. I think we want to think about what are the big milestones throughout the year. If you're a parent who has children going back to school right now, for example, that is a major milestone within the year. Or it could be as simple as the start of summer, we want to plan our vacation. What are big activities, big initiatives in your own life? That requires a bit of planning. And so think about those and allow yourself the time, space, and effort to take a job Janice plan approach to it, not right where you have to make the decision immediately,

but give it some time. Maybe it's a few weeks out, even a few months out. And then to start using the steps one through six as you lead up to the start of that project initiative, trip, beginning of the school year, whatever it is. And it really works. I'm excited when I do it, when I have friends to it. And that's what we want. We want to have goals that we can meet, if not surpass. We want to see positive outcomes for ourselves and others. And I think these all together contribute to a more fulfilled life.

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's a, I like the different steps. And I think about what does, what do we traditionally get wrong, you know, in terms of setting new year's resolutions? And what would you say to that? What do you think we get wrong about New Year's resolutions and sort of traditional goal setting? And, you know, how could your plan help resolve that, what we get wrong? Absolutely.

Like I said, most resolutions fail. And part of the reason is we did not consider the past the context. So if I say, oh, I want to lose 25 pounds this year, I'm out. How does 25 pounds play vis-a-vis your real weight and your behavior? and your behavior and your weaknesses, if it's chocolate chip cookies, whatever, it pays to just pay attention to all those little details. And that's part of the pondering the past. In order to get to sustainable goals, you really have to ask yourself a whole host of questions

so that you can then say, yes, this is a goal that is realistic and achievable. And I know you have and everyone has heard about smart goals. I can't talk about smart goals enough, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time back. It helps. And then the other thing I will throw in there is this notion of not only breaking down big goal into smaller goals and having smaller rewards attached to them, but to have accountability partners, whether it's a loved one, coach, a mentor, someone that will just keep you honest. honest and knows you and won't be a threat to you and you can just be more yourself and be even embarrassed in front of. That can make all the difference in supporting what you're trying to achieve. Excellent. You know, and I, let's go back to reflections because I thought what you said

about that was really helpful. And I think this is what your six steps really do is, is take a step back and think about where you've come from and where you're going. I think there's an interesting connection between reflection and like self-compassion in your work. So how do you honestly examine like mistakes or regrets without turning reflection into rumination or self-criticism? Like what's the best way to do that in your opinion? So I want to share with you, Cindra, an exercise I have in the book. I call it the good, the bad, and the ugly, named after the spaghetti western, the book. And it's very, Very simple that I really, I'm biased.

I really believe it's effective. So it's three columns. You write in the first column, the good. Everything that has been great about, let's, again, we're using past year this time. Everything that has been great, because there is so much good that happens in our lives. We tend to forget it because we have such busy lives. And then I encourage people to look into their art, what I call artifacts. Everything from your social media scroll to your.

planner, your journal, your photos in your camera. Those are all artifacts that help kind of jog the memory of all the great things that have happened. And then the second column is the bad. This is where things did not go your way. You were again embarrassed, dissatisfied, even saddened. Some of them may not have been in your control, but list them because the only way to get past them is to acknowledge them and to understand, this is where to your point, your important point about self-compassion. I did my best. There were things I were out of my control. And there are lessons here that I can then take on when I start developing my goals and face a new year. The last call, and I only ask people to write one ugly thing. It's kind of like the worst of the bads. there is one ugly thing that this hurts us so much.

I want people, everyone, to just acknowledge that one thing, because once it's down there, you're welcome to forget about it. But until you write it down and understand it and even, you know, odd way, thank it, then you are feeling just much lighter. It's kind of like a burn has been taken off your back and your mental load. And then you can start really having the way to like a brighter future. So I love that exercise because it comes back to your point about having self-compassion as you acknowledge the full color of your year.

Excellent. How do you think that we should use that? Like what recommendation would you give us? You mean how to use the access? The good, the bad, the ugly. How often. Yeah. I tend to use this quarterly because I tend to use this quarterly because I

I think it's big investment in your intellect, your emotions to really dig deep into what's good, bad, and ugly. So I wouldn't recommend it every day. But I think for me, and folks can see what works for them. I definitely say at the end of a year, if you want, you could also do it quarterly because enough things happen, enough time passes where these sorts of things actually surface and you can actually define them. And the only other thing I will say is I want folks to also think about each year as like a tapestry. We weave our days with our goals. Some threads get snagged, some get pangled, but we also are weaving a life of our own that has its unique colors and designs, and that's wonderful. And so I'm just all about weaving our lives and then knowing at the

end of the year, you have this tapestry that you could kind of hang up and say, there it is. That's my life in, let's say, 2006, before I move on to 2007, it's done, it's hung up. I'm now ready to go back into the loom and start weaving a new year with new goals and new aspirations and new hopes. Yolbert, one of the questions I wanted to ask you is, you know, you have lived across cultures. As I mentioned, at the beginning, you built your career across four different cultures or continents, right? Continent.

So how do you think living between these worlds has shaped your understanding of the things we're talking about today and maybe even other things about identity or belonging or ultimately like becoming who you really are? Yeah, thanks for asking about that because not only did I live and work in four continents. I grew up across several countries. I'm from Manila, the Philippines, but I grew up in Kathmandu, Nepal, Bangkok, Thailand,

last year, 8th, through 12th grade in Tokyo, Japan, because my father was this roving academic. But to your question, I will say now in retrospect, each culture taught me a lot about thresholds, beginnings, and endings. And every time we had to move, I felt like I was uprooted from my school and my friends, and I had to begin again all over and navigate new circumstances, new cultures, even new languages and new ways of thinking about life.

And so in the time at the moment when I was young, it was frustrating, but I can now say as an adult looking back, what a gift, because I got to experience different cultures, crossing that threshold. And I think that's how we got to see our lives. You don't have to go to many exotic countries like I may have, but throughout our years and our lives, we have many different stages and circumstances. And so each one to be treasured as a threshold, I think, is a special thing to thank it, to understand it before we move forward. Yober, I got so much information from you today. I wanted just do a quick some.

I appreciate what you said about how most people, like 90% people don't follow through with their news resolutions. So you gave us a six-step framework to really think about the past and where we're going in the future. Janice, I did not know about the background of Janice and just the idea of like, you know, looking both ways. I appreciated what you said about your burnout experience. And I think we can learn a lot from just those three questions. what's working right now right right now what can i let go of and i think the last one was what is the lesson or reason is that right yeah excellent and then the good the bad the ugly tell us how we can get your your new book and where can people follow along with what you're doing and of course

your new book is called the janice plan a no resolutions plan to begin your year with intention Thank you, Sandra. So it is now available through your favorite online book retailer. It's also an audio book, so you can get that on Audible. My author web site is my full name, Jobert, middle initial e.a, boeva.com. So you will learn more about the background of the Janus Plan, learn about the workshops, my newsletter, my TEDx talk, and a blog. So happy to engage with folks. and happy to hear how folks are enjoying and getting benefit from the Janus plan. Amazing. What would be the final advice you'd give people as we're wrapping up today? It's to give yourself the grace to pause. When you think things are moving too fast, when you think you'll feel a bit lost, just take the pause and feel free to try those three questions. Excellent. Thank you, Yover. I appreciate your time with everyone. energy and you joining us for the high performance mindset podcast today.

Sandra, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and enjoy my exclusive community for high performers, where you get access to videos about mindset each week.

So again, you can add over to Dr. That's DRC-I-N-D-R-C-I-N-R-A.com. See you next week.