High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 86: Decide to be Confident

Episode Date: January 23, 2017

High performers are confident – they believe and trust in their ability. They wear their confidence armor so they don’t take comments and actions of others personally, but can still learn and grow. They appreciate their experiences that they have led them to where they are today. They choose confidence! Affirmation this Week: I choose confidence. I choose to believe and trust in my ability to be at my best for myself and my team.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Dr. Sindra Kampoff joins us on Monday mornings for High Performance Mindset. Good morning to you. It's great to be here.

Good morning. Good to be all in the studio at the same time. I was sick last Monday and didn't make it in. And I know you guys celebrated four years of doing this on the radio. It's cool. Isn't that amazing?

It's really cool. It's gone by fast. It has gone by fast. And it's great to see how this particular segment has grown in popularity. Cover some pretty meaningful stuff. And sometimes I know we go a little bit long. We get yelled at by the boss once in a while. But we're like, yeah, but it's good stuff.

People need this on a Monday. And today we're talking about something I think a lot of people, young athletes, people who are pursuing their careers and their dreams as far as stuff like that goes at any age, confidence and being confident. Deciding to be confident is the topic today. So where do we start with that? I'm going to start with a quote by Pat Summitt, legendary coach from the University of Tennessee. And she said, you have to believe you're good enough to excel at the highest level if you ever expect to get there. And it's kind of a nice way

of saying, you know, you got to kind of fake it till you make it sort of thing. You know, I get tired of hearing young kids especially say, oh, that's a good team. We're never going to beat them. Oh my gosh, you're already putting yourself behind the eight ball on this one. And you might not even recognize it. So today we're talking about confidence. And what I mean is just your belief and your trust in your ability and the certainty that you'll be successful. And we know confident people trust that they have what it takes. But they're not arrogant.

I kind of describe it as like mentally strong people are inner arrogant. So they know that they have what it takes and they have what they need to be successful. But they don't have to like shout it from the rooftops. And I know this topic is really important because it's the most downloaded episode of the podcast so far. Of everything we've done. I know it's meaningful to people to learn more about confidence. We have talked a lot about people,

specifically pro athletes and other people in business that have been very successful, but all the failure that they've had leading up to the great success that they've had. So how do, I have to assume these people

have confident traits about them. So how do confident people approach failure where others of us maybe approach it differently? You know, I'd say they don't let mistakes or bad performances or bad days, bad meetings or bad games impact their belief that they can do it.

And they don't let it impact their confidence. They realize that we're not perfect and no one is and that mistakes are a way to learn. They don't generalize about themselves when they have a poor performance, let's say. In performance, I just, you performance, we perform every single day. They don't let negative labels of what other people put on them. They don't accept them. And I have a great example. Yesterday when I was watching the football games,

I was watching an interview with Aaron Andrews and Matt Ryan, the quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons. Andrews was asking him, what do you hate people asking? Or what do you hate the media? you know, or what do you hate the media? What are the media saying this week that you hate hearing about? And he said, you know, that this is a defining moment of my legacy. And he said that I don't have what it takes. And he was comparing himself to, or the media has been comparing himself to the other three quarterbacks and the other quarterbacks have, you know, led their team to a Super Bowl. And this is what he

said. He said, you know, I'm confident in myself and my ability. And what I'm trying to do is, what I've really learned this year, is to stay in the present. And he said, you know, to be where my feet are. And I learned a lot, actually, from the last time we were here and what I don't want to do. Okay. Great example. And obviously there, the inner confidence showed. Absolutely.

He sliced some pretty sharp cheddar last night, didn't he? They're moving on to the Super Bowl. And obviously there, the inner confidence showed. Absolutely. He sliced some pretty sharp cheddar last night, didn't he? They're moving on to the Super Bowl. And I watched the interview and I thought, man, he's going to play really, really well today. Because he just had this inner arrogance, exactly like you said. And he makes a pretty good case for a possible MVP here in the NFL this year. We'll see what happens. Of course, that is something media and the things they say in his position can affect him. But what kind of things impact our confidence daily?

I'd say there's three main things. That's our focus. What are we paying attention to? What are we noticing? And are we choosing to see a difficulty as really as an opportunity? Another thing I'd say is our thoughts. So confident people, they think in thoughts like I will, I can, I am instead of I won't, I can't, I'm not. Positive self-talk.

Positive self-talk about themselves and what they can do and then our actions. So, you know, how we're choosing to carry ourselves and what our body language looks like. And are we standing in a confident way or are we acting in a confident way? So you say confidence is a decision that we make daily. What do you mean by that? I just mean that, you know, we can make a decision to think and be and act confident. We can carry ourselves with confidence. Confidence isn't something that we just have, but something that we nurture. And what we know is, I think Matt Ryan is a great example of

somebody who, you know, is not listening to what other people say about him, but he's choosing to be confident regardless of the haters we can describe it as. Yeah. All right. So you've got the book coming up and we talk about confidence and you've given us some like three confident decisions. Can you give us some more? Yeah, absolutely.

So here's three that we're going to talk about today. What confident people do is put on their confidence armor. Okay. And so this is kind of the way I describe it is, you know, it's kind of like a shield around you and you don't let other people impact your confidence. And so what I mean by that is, let's say if you have a coach or a boss or a teacher who gives you, you know, feedback, you take it as a text message. So you just take it as like kind of what they're saying, maybe not how they say it. And you don't let other people impact what you think about yourself.

So you don't let other people's comments kind of sear your grid or your confidence or your motivation. Another one I'd say is to change your body language. I see that huge with sports in particular. When, you know, if somebody gets down and you can see the team. Hanging heads. Absolutely. Shrugging. Oh, man.

And then you can see it directly impact how they play. Exactly. Typically, man. And then you can see it directly impact how they play. Exactly. Typically, immediately. And so when we're unconfident, we tend to slouch. Our body language is small and closed. But when we're confident, it's bigger and open and outward. And there's a really cool TED Talk I'd encourage people to listen to. It's by Amy Cuddy.

And she just talks about how if you stand in a power pose for up to two minutes. So one example is like a Superman pose or a Superwoman pose that it can actually change how you feel. So just notice your body language. And just by changing that, you could feel more confident. All right. And another decision that we can make? I would say appreciate your past, but stay in the present. And the example of Matt Ryan is a great example

where he appreciated what he learned from being in the situation before, but he worked to stay in the present. And I would just say your past has led you to where you are today. And it hasn't obviously been perfect, but it's led you to where you are and where you need to be. So just seeing it as something that's helpful can help improve your confidence. So you said these are three tips that we went over right now as far as confidence goes. And this is three of 10 that will be in the book?

Yes. Awesome. It is. By the next time I come here, it's going to be done. Is it? It's going to be done. now as far as confidence goes and this is three of 10 that will be in the book yes awesome it is by the next time i come here it's gonna be done is it it's gonna be done so it's been it's been a long long road i didn't have much time in the fall to finish it but i'm really excited i'm really cool jazzed about what it's gonna do and how it's gonna help people well we look forward to seeing it and getting a copy of it in our hands, and we are confident that it will be awesome. How do we summarize this topic for today?

So high performers, those who are working to reach their greater potential, they're confident. They believe and trust in themselves, and they wear their confidence armor, so they don't take comments and actions of others personally, but instead as a way to learn and grow. And they appreciate their experience that they've had

because that's where they have gotten today. They choose confidence. And an affirmation for this week, one that we can find on Twitter or if we follow along through any of the social media sites that Cindra is a part of. I choose confidence. I choose to believe and trust in my ability to be my best for myself, my family, and my team. I noticed that there are some new podcasts loaded up that I haven't listened to yet, so I'm excited to get to those. If we want to follow along with you, keep up to date on all this stuff, or even chime in and ask a question once in a while.

How do we do that? That would be awesome. You can head over to my website, drcindra, D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A, and maybe there's a topic you'd like us to talk about and discuss. So just my contact information is up there on the website. And you can find more information about the podcast by searching High Performance Mindset on iTunes. And there's some really amazing interviews. Last week, I interviewed a Canadian sports psychologist who works with Olympians from Canada and worked with Cirque du Soleil. Oh, wow.

Oh, cool. It was super fun. He talked about what he learned from clowns. It was really fun. And then tomorrow, I'm interviewing a person who wrote a book called In Praise of Failure. And it's all about how the best and how confident people approach failure. So really good stuff. Awesome.

All right. DrCindra.com. Confidence the topic for today. Thank you very much for coming in. Good to see you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend,

and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.