High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 90: How to See a Setback as a Comeback

Episode Date: February 25, 2017

“If you change the way you look at things, the thing you look at change.” Wayne Dyer High performers use reframing daily which is the process of recreating alternative frames or looking at their life, sport, or the world. They don’t ignore the injury, difficulty or pain, but instead see a different perspective and how the obstacle is helping me. This helps them feel unstoppable and jazzed about their life, sport, and job. My High Performance Affirmation: I use reframing regularly to keep me passionate and charged for my goals and my life. I see a setback as a comeback.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. All right, here we go. Dr. Sindra Kampoff is here today. High performance mindset on the Country Club. Good morning, Sindra. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me. Good to have you in. We said we needed Sindra this morning early to get us back on the rails after a pretty, for me, I'll just call it a gluttonous weekend. We're all looking at each other. What'd you eat?

Well, what'd you eat? I know. Don't be shy. Don't be embarrassed. Let's be honest with each other. It wasn't pretty. So it's time to kind of reframe things and get started for the week, and that's exactly what we're talking about, reframing today. Yes, I'm going to start with a quote by Wayne Dreyer. He said, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. I like that. So do you have an example to start with?

I do. I actually have an example of someone I worked with. I don't typically give these examples, but I'm going to change her name and we're going to call her Ashley for this example, because I think she's a great example of how you can use reframing and you can use it at any age. And so when I first met her, she was an emerging high school gymnast with big dreams to compete at the state meet in Vault. However, her junior year, she tore ACL and her season stopped abruptly. And obviously you could imagine she was devastated. Sure. She was getting back into the sport when I started working with her.

And we started training her mind. And as you can imagine, when you experience a season-ending injury, you can think of your automatic negative thoughts or, you know, why me? I couldn't possibly ever get back to where I was before. I can't do this. This is too hard. And especially in a sport like gymnastics, where risk is really important to performance,

you know, addressing those automatic negative risk is really important to performance, you know, addressing those automatic negative thoughts are really important. So she could get back to, you know, doing something she loved instead of having this attitude of defeat. One of the things that we worked on a lot was what psychologists and what we call cognitive reframing. And it just means where you change your lens, you create alternative ways to see your life or your sport or your future. And she could have easily stopped her support because of the season-ending injury. But she could see that injuries happen to even the best athletes. And she used a power phrase, and it was this,

a setback is a comeback. And she, obviously, a couple of years later, she lived her dreams, competed at State in the Vault. And she used reframing to really stay excited and passionate about her sport, regardless of any challenge or circumstances. So what do you exactly mean by reframing? This is a good example in her particular sport. But how do we make that work out for us? Absolutely. So when we reframe, we change our viewpoint. So we can intentionally see any circumstance or challenge through a different lens.

And often the lens is really important for us to change because the world is what we make of it. Right? And so we can change to see. We can change the circumstances and change our lens at any time. You can decide to see a setback as a comeback or a difficulty as an opportunity. And I think any negative situation or thought can be reframed so you see it in a really positive light.

And you have to recognize those first, right? I mean, a lot of us get in the habit of just always being negative. Oh, we're going to lose this game. Oh, this isn't going to go the way I want it to. And I'm guilty as anybody of that. I like to build things up in my brain and have them be just as bad as they can possibly be. And then when it happens, you're like, oh, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But you do so much worrying leading up to that

then. Absolutely. So much kind of making crap up as you go, to be honest. And you do have to catch yourself. You have to notice what your perspective is and how you're thinking about a situation. Same thing happened to me yesterday. I was saying before we went on the radio, I ran my first really long run before the Boston Marathon. And I was hurting so bad yesterday. And I had to work to just change how I was seeing it that it was actually going to help me for my race. So why is it important that we use this then? I mean, there's several areas in life that we can use reframing.

It's not just related to sport as we're talking about here, but it helps us stay excited and stoked about anything going on in our life, any hardship. And it helps you overcome any obstacles that you have. So like, for example, maybe a loss of a job or a poor performance, or maybe you lost a client or a certain amount of your income or you experienced a seizing ending injury like Ashley. What we know is the best, use reframing regularly. So sometimes I call it the daily secret to success because that's what I think the best do is they're always changing their viewpoint. They're always seeing things in a different light, in a more positive light. So let's talk about some examples of when we can use reframing in our regular life. So let's say your boss or a coach provides you difficult feedback. Or let's say you

don't get the job that you applied for. Or you're experiencing a difficulty in the relationship. Let's say you're a student and you don't do very well on a test or exam. Or let's say today you woke up and you're in a cranky mood. That never happens on a Monday morning after a long weekend, right? Yeah. So that happens. There's people that are like, that's the one. How do I reframe that right now? But how do we actually reframe it? I think it's all about your perspective. What are you excited about for that's going to happen in your day? How can you see the good things instead of the negative things? How can you see actually how you're feeling good instead of how you're feeling terrible

this Monday? So pick something out maybe that you're looking forward to in the day, even if you think the whole day is going to be miserable. Absolutely. Find something to focus on. It's all about how you choose to see it. All right. So let's summarize today.

It's a great topic for a Monday morning, reframing. High performers and those people who are working to reach their greater potential, that's what I mean by high performers, use reframing daily, which is just the process of just changing your lens, looking at your situation in a different frame. They don't ignore the injury or difficulty or pain,

but instead they see a different perspective and how the obstacle can actually help you. So they feel excited and jazzed about what they're doing today. All right. Now we will get on social media our Monday affirmation along the way. If you follow Cinder in those places, and we'll give you the details on how to do that,

you'll see this every week, and it's our affirmation to wrap up with today on reframing. I use reframing regularly to keep me passionate and excited and charged about my goals. I see a setback as a comeback. Nice one. All right. Now, if we want to find out more about what you're up to, follow along, get the book when it comes out, listen to the podcasts, get the Twitter updates and all of that.

What's the best way to get in touch with you? Head over to my website, drcindra.com. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A. And I've launched a few really, really good podcasts. One, people are tweeting about a lot. I interviewed the author of In Praise of Failure. Okay. And he talks about the importance of just failing and what we can actually learn from failure.

So I think at the heart of that is really reframing. It's a really, really good interview. So I just encourage you to check it out if you have some time. DrCindra.com. Cindra Kampoff with us today. High Performance Mindset on The Country Club every Monday morning. if you have some time dr cindra.com cindra camp off with us today high performance mindset on the country club every monday morning thank you very much thanks for having me thank you for listening to high performance mindset if you like today's podcast make a comment share it with a friend and join the conversation on twitter at mentally

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