History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 100 - Colin Quinn is WILD!

Episode Date: December 5, 2019

The Hyenas sit down with the legend Colin Quinn! They discuss the history of Park Slope, Brooklyn -- neighborhood that Yannis and Colin both grew up in! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Welcome to another episode of the History of Hyenas. Chrissy D, Yanni P, Venetia, Zach, Mike Emoji Face, and now we got a guest, the king of Park Slope, the prince, no, he's the king of Brooklyn, the prince of Park Slope,

Colin Quinn, everybody. Sultan. The great Colin Quinn. The great Colin Quinn. Thanks, guys. Yeah, it's fucking, I don't even have to give this guy an introduction. No.

He's just CQ, baby. I mean, he's as much of a potato monkey as you get. He's a definition of a potato monkey. With a name like Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn from Brooklyn Park Slope. Yeah, Brooklyn Park Slope, which used to be an Irish. I remember as a kid, it was Irish. We don't have to get into it right away.

I was just saying, I just remember kids named Colin and Quinns everywhere. And if you're out of Borough Trash like I am, and the biggest accomplishment of my career was getting a retweet from Colin Quinn to my friends. They don't care about anything else I did. Like, yo, Colin Quinn fucking retweeted my friend. Me too. He retweeted my special. I couldn't believe it.

Yeah, CQ, baby. Special's hilarious, by the way. I don't know how it's doing, but it's so. Not well. It's not doing well. No, but it's great. I thought you thought I was Joe DeRosa for like the last five years. No.

I didn't even know you knew my name. Even though you were married to my cousin's wife. Yeah. That's wild. That's a wild story. That's wild. That's a crazy story. That's a wild story, yeah.

Thank you for saying that, though. But now Colin's got a new wife. That means everything to me. Now I don't care. I don't care if it gets views now. I really appreciate that. What do you mean? It's special.

Great. Of course you want views. But it's not comedy. That's the problem. But go ahead. No, I'm saying it's fucking real comedy he's doing. Yeah, it's real comedy. By the way, make a clip of that. What do you mean? The special is great. Of course you want views. It's real comedy. That's the problem. But go ahead. No, I'm saying it's fucking real comedy he's doing. Yeah, it's real comedy. By the way, make a clip of that.

It's real comedy. You're right. Yeah. I was at your wedding. Yeah. So was Jerry Seinfeld. Who cares? Yeah.

Yeah, it was a great wedding. I saw Jerry Seinfeld last night. They had a preview of The Irishman. Jerry had some friends for a preview of The Irishman. Good movie? At one of those preview houses. Yeah. Is it good?

Why do you say it like automatically we're going to sign off and say it's good? No, actually, it was an unnecessary movie, if you want the truth. That's why I'm asking you. Three hours. Unnecessary. Really? First of all, and this will actually help us with Parkesville, part of the problem was that it was set in a lot of it's upstate New York and Philly.

And the Philly part, no one's doing the accent, which is infuriating because the Philly accent is fun. Yeah, I'd be like, hey, I would like a rooter and a hoogie and it's happy Tuesday. Would you like a kook? Would you like a kook? And when do you hoon? Do you like the eagles? Come here to foon. Eagle.

Do you like the eagles? How about the time DePa Apollo made some joke in South Jersey about what is this guy? What's his qualifications? He was an Eagle Scout and some guy goes, go Giants. Apollo went on a 20 minute rampage. You got sucker. I fucking hate you fucking people.

You're my fans. You don't know what I was talking about. You don't know who the fucking Eagles are. He fucking snapped. He moved down south. It's funny to watch a guy snap And just leave Can't say that That's not to say that where he is publicly

Can we tackle that then That's why you said he's in the southern United States Wild So it's set upstate You said Set upstate It's great They're all amazing So it's set upstate You said? Yeah And it's set upstate And it's You know it's great

I mean they're all amazing And it's great The scenes But there's no reason for that To be three minutes Three hours and twenty minutes He's making them too long All his most recent movies

Have been too long Is he going senile? I like the department If the departed was like Forty minutes shorter If casino was like Twenty, thirty minutes shorter And those are the ones we liked

Yeah and those are the ones we liked. Yeah, and those are the ones I really liked. We're not even counting the ones we don't like. Exactly. Yeah. A lot of violence in it? Like Goodfellas kind of shit? There was some... No, but there was some good violence.

There was some pretty good violence. They never found Jimmy Hoffa, right? No, they never found Jimmy Hoffa. Where do you think he is? Where's your guess? Giant metal age. Yeah. So they got a new mall over there now.

They got... Those are like a big new mall. Maybe they'll dig them up During the new mall And you know what No well they said It's interesting you say that They had to keep

Stopping construction It took like two years Longer than expected Because they kept Finding bodies In the Meadowlands They would have to FBI would have to

Come examine it Of course they'd say Oh we can't Fucking do anything It's bones But they found like Six bodies Making that fucking mall

Because that's where The mafia used to dump shit Sure Why wouldn't you God it was so easy To kill a guy back in the day Yeah bones, but they found like six bodies making that fucking mall, because that's where the mafia used to dump shit. Sure. Yeah. Why wouldn't you? God, it was so easy to kill a guy back in the day. Yeah.

Yeah. You just took him out. There was no cameras. I mean, just throw him in the Gowanus Canal. People used to just throw bodies by their house. They'd just go drive down the street, throw him in the Gowanus crowd, put a cinder block on him, and that was it. See? That's why.

He's right at the park slope. That's where the Gowanus Canal is. Yeah. I know where the Gowanus Canal is. You don't know nothing. You're a kid from Queens. Yeah Slope That's where the Gowanus Canal is Yeah I know where the Gowanus Canal is You don't know nothing You're a kid from Queens Yeah I know exactly where the Gowanus Canal is

Well, the Gowanus, they're cleaning it up now They did clean it up They're trying to clean it up Oh, they are Because when we were kids It smelled like It was unbelievable, that smell You could smell it from Park Slope

Really? If you caught a wind off the Like, literally It was terrible If you were on 9th Street On like 9th Street You could smell like a waft as it came up. Yes.

It was really powerful. Interesting. It was really polluted. On a windy day. A lot of people got cancer that lived down there. Really? Yeah, right by the Gowanus. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Now if you go down there, you see guys, they have a canoe race. You see guys canoeing. Oh, yeah. There's a furniture store down there. The edgiest place is open night at the Bell House.

That's right. Yeah, I got a show there Sunday, November 9th. Get tickets. I mean, November 10th. Come see me. Okay, Norton. Come see me at Straight Breast Milk. That's the name of my show.

They always got like a weird name. Straight Breast Milk. Yeah, I was happy to get you on this podcast because you love history and that's all we talk about. I do love history. We talk about history. We talk about history. We talk about it for like 10 minutes, and then the rest of it is just making fun of everybody. We should actually be paying him tribute for doing this podcast because he's like kind of the don of comedy history.

Yeah, it's like if you try to do it like – I'm totally into it. Exactly. That's what I love. It's like we only could continue doing this history podcast because Colin allowed it. Yeah. Back in the day, he would have showed up and been like, guys, you're kind of fucking encroaching on my thing. But especially I'm obsessed with the Greeks. Let's face it. Yeah. Back in the day, he would have showed up and been like, guys, you kind of fucking encroaching on my thing. But especially,

I'm obsessed with the Greeks. Let's face it. When you think about the Greeks, would stand-up comedy exist without the Greeks laying down this concept? This guy's got a hard-on right now.

Keep going. Yeah, I know. So does she. He's fully erect. So she. Because, think about it. Yeah.

Those early philosophers, Socrates, they were the first ones to go, listen to me. Listen to me. I want to talk about something. And then everybody first ones to go, listen to me. Listen to me. I want to talk about something. And then everybody listened.

They go, this is not leading anywhere. It's not leading to a battle. It's not leading to building anything. I just want to talk about something. Right. That's why we became. That's stand up. Yeah.

The sophists were really good at that, right? Yes. They especially went nowhere. Yeah. It was just all smoke and mirrors. They were like the you know like they were like some of these

Netflix specials now just pure sophism yeah something like that yeah yeah I mean there's a couple of Netflix specials

like oh look at this sophist do you feel like pure sophistry yeah do you feel like we're living through a time where like

the search for truth is over kind of like kind of like that time where- 30 Tyrants. Where, yeah, Socrates was living, and it's all bullshit. And they poisoned him, yeah. Hemlock, shout out Hemlock. Yeah, because you say the truth, you get in trouble now.

Yes, exactly. But people who are just fucking saying nothing are flourishing. And it's funny, because it's about Park Slope. When we were growing up, one thing about Park Slope, and it was like that since I was a kid, and I'm sure it was like that when you were a kid, it was very multicultural. Everybody was always around each other. We went to school together. Everyone did things together, and it was plenty of drama, but people spoke truth ethnically.

You could identify. It was just a different... All of New York was like that. Sure. And people would say things, and it wouldn't be a moment where the nation had to soul search right it would just be like oh yeah this kid said something right because this kid's black this kid's white this kid's puerto rican yeah italian jewish and so it was really it was the who knew that that would be uh yeah something that would go away even in new york yeah a lot of times you'd say it and that person would be like one of your really close friends. Absolutely.

Well, yeah, that's why when I remember I was watching... Sleep, take shits at your house, you know, you can't get closer than that. I was watching New York Story, which is Colin's Netflix special, one of his Netflix specials, and I remember I was watching it when it first came out, and I was still with my kid's mom, and I was holding my kid's grandmother, who's Puerto Rican,

was holding my daughter, and we were watching New York Story, and when it got to the Puerto Rican section because I'm so conditioned now to be like, oh, white people can't talk about anything. I was like,

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy and she was laughing her ass off and she was like, who has his name? And I was like, oh, that's Colin Quinn and I was like,

he's from Park Slope actually and she's like, does he have an older brother too? And I was like, yeah, she's like, he looks like somebody that maybe,

I think, find out what high school his older brother went to. Did he used to go to the Salty Dog to watch Jets find out what high school his older brother went to did he used to go to the salty dog to watch Jets game no she asked

if she used to go to I used to bartend there no she used to ask she asked and he probably

she's like did his brother used to go to the Irish Haven on 4th Avenue like probably yeah yeah I mean

you know whenever you meet anyone who's like half Puerto Rican half Irish it's like the chances that their parents

met in Brooklyn are 100% it's 100% yeah and it's like New York is a%. I always felt like New York was a place growing up, like of course racism exists, but we can get away with our comedy kind of stepping right up to the line when it comes to race because really

it's so stupid to hate anybody, to be a racist, hateful person in New York because the person you hate, you're going to see on the train in five minutes. So you can hate whatever group, but you're not going to... Whereas if you're a racist in some other state, it's like you can truly just detach yourself from that group. Well, we've talked about like the racism where you haven't – where you're not exposed to other people is more like a paranoid like if I see any of them, I'm going to kill all – you know, like I'm going to kill them. Whereas here it's like this fuck. You know how they are.

Right. You know how they fucking are. Right. I see how they are. You know how they fucking are. I see them every day. You know how they fucking are. It's like I told the story about my pops during Hurricane Sandy when he Hurricane Sandy the storm. Hurricane Sandy the storm. No disrespect to anybody in the Middle Eastern culture. Hurricane Sandy the storm.

And, you know, Staten Island was ravaged by it, and a lot of the people that live right on the coast lived in bungalows, and for the most part, they were like, you know, Staten Island was ravaged by it, and a lot of the people that live right on the coast lived in bungalows, and for the most part, they were like, you know, Latino families. And my dad lived more inland on Staten Island, so he would go every day, pick up kids that needed help, take them to school, help with the furniture.

Get a lotto ticket. Yeah, get a lotto ticket. Yeah. Curse on my mother. Yeah. And then he would say, he took one family in, one Mexican family in, and he let them live with him for two weeks.

Every day he took the kids to school, fed the family, like whatever. But because he's New York, when the family came in, he was like, whoa, hide the silverware, Diane. He would say he was calling the guy, the head guy of the patriarch of the family, his name was Julio. He was calling him Jose. He was like, what's the difference? But it's like just being fun New York. But, you know, so it's like right now, like fucking somebody, some virtue singular would crush my father and be like, he's the next Hitler. But meanwhile, he was protecting to that family.

Right. To the family he took in. They're like, I don't care. I could deal with a couple of these little jokes. Might your dad save our lives? Yes. You know? But also, I feel like this is a theory you guys probably like.

There's like people that tell you how you feel about something before they say, hey, you'll like this. It's like, we'll decide after. But is that a lot of the people that didn't grow up, a lot of the people that set the rules of New York ethnic non-identification grew up subconsciously in their mind they want everybody to be the same so that they can recreate the bland suburban strip mall that they grew up in. Right.

So they're subconsciously doing it. So they're like, no, we want everybody the same because that's how we grew up. So that means that's good. Right. Instead of going, I left there for a reason. That's interesting. I never thought about it that way. They probably have no choice in that.

You're saying it's like a subconscious thing because that's what they know. That's how they're conditioned. Yeah, so they think they're actually being 10 times more racist than anyone could ever be. Right, right. By not identifying people's, you know what I mean? I always used to say, celebrate diversity. Don't point out people are different, you know? Right, right.

And so, you know, what they mean, it's just so obvious to me that there's something off with it, you know? Well, there's this recent video going around. I don't know if you saw it on the subway where this woman is just standing by. Did you see anyone see this? With this dude. He's a black dude. He's like going crazy. And he's like yelling stuff. And she's just standing there.

You know? She's like, you can always tell who's not from New York because they're just like pretending it's not happening. They're not moving. Like, if I move away, he's going to think I'm racist. And then he just shoved her into the tracks. Really? Yeah.

You ever get in a subway car and there's a homeless person who stinks like shit and then you see the people who are just trying to avoid the smell? You're like, they're not from New York.

And then the people from New York are like, they get on the train and they're like, fuck this place smells. Is it this man arrested in brutal charge on camera subway shove?

It could be. Four days ago? Is it four days arrested and brutal charge on camera subway shove? It could be. Is it four days ago? Yeah, yeah, it could be it, yeah. Yeah, I can't wait to fucking, there's an ad about Colgate or something. Oh, shit. This? I'm not sure.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that might have been it. Was that you, Venetia? Yeah, that, yeah. I can't watch this. This is actually my real fear when I ride. Yeah, like she's standing around. it. Was that you, Venetia? Yeah. I can't watch this. This is actually my real fear when I ride. Yeah, like she's standing around. See, like, look at her.

She's standing like, get out of there. Like, that's when you got to get out of there. Yeah, what are you doing? You can't look for, hey, guys, there's a solution to this. Yeah. Well, I was on a train about a month ago, and there's a lady comes on in a full, like, I mean, only her eyes are covered. Right.

Stormtrooper. Yeah, fully masked out. Yeah. And she sits down. There's about 20 of us in the car, and this is all homeless black dude. And he's just like this. I didn't even know. He didn't even clock her, but, of course, he immediately clocked her.

And we're all sitting in the train. It's quiet. But she's like, well, you know, it's so intense. And it's just the eyes. Yeah. And suddenly he's not even looking at her. He just goes, yeah, I ain't looking to get blown up today. And he goes, I ain't looking to die on this train.

I ain't looking to die on no E train. And then these two ladies, one of them's like, Sir, this is New York. We don't do racism here. Like this lady just decides to be the savior. Yeah, yeah, yeah. White lady comes strolling over. Yeah, it's hilarious.

And it's just so funny because you know- It would have been funny if he just took some shit and threw it at her. Oh, yeah. He wouldn't stop then. He's like, yeah, I know. I know one thing. Would have been funny. They're going to say he died it at her. Oh, yeah. He wouldn't stop then. He's like, yeah, I know. I know one thing. Would have been funny. They're going to say he died on the train. You know, she's stuck on the train the whole thing.

Or if, like, those two white ladies come over and, like, we don't do this race on New York, and that's when she detonates. Yeah. Yeah, but I was on the train, too. Oh, yeah. I don't want to see CQ go. I don't like that ending. Not yet.

All right, fine, yeah. Although, I would like to die on the train, which is another thing. Park Slope is a pain in the ass, the train, because it's the F train. It's the worst. You get to the F train, eighth or seventh, there's no solution. Nine blocks from my house, seven blocks from his house,

and you still have to walk through the tunnel, and you hear the train going, and you miss it every time. Every time on the F train, yeah. That's a unique Park Slope thing. You just always miss the train. That only someone from Park, you would get there, and you would it every time. Every time on the F train, yeah. That's a unique park slope thing. You just always miss the train. That only someone from park, you would get there and you would try to run,

but you'd have to run this whole tunnel to get to it. Yes. Because especially if you got in on 8th Avenue, then you got to run it because the train is all the way down. Yes.

You run it and you always miss it. The worst. You always hear it. And then it goes like the speed. It's like embarrassing how slow the F train is. Why does it have to go so slow? I don't know.

Is there a reason? It just kind of sputters along. Yeah, well, because it goes outdoors. It was always like that. Well, I mean, Park Slope now is just... I didn't... When I go to Park Slope now, I used to live there, but it angers

me now. Now I just get angry. It's been like that for a long time. We actually post anger. But it's just getting angry. It's been like that for a long time. We're actually posting. It's just they have great marketing because all these hippies that usually they want to live in Brooklyn because of proximity to the city, but it's like we can get from Bay Ridge I can't believe you just called them hippies.

I'm in shock too. Yeah, hippies. Park Slope is post all that. It's post yuppies even Park Slope is post all that Yuppies I should say Yuppies It's post yuppies Yeah Park Slope is European Alright fucking cucks

My brothers No I'm saying my brothers I like how I like how Half the kids in my Post yuppie is European I like that It's hilarious

That's top level Yeah Yeah because that's My brother said Half the kids in the class They're from France They moved Then they moved back after a year

They stay Like all his His daughter's friends. Right. In like sixth grade. I mean, with seven, eight year old kids,

first grade, whatever it is. Very advanced. And yeah, they're all from like different countries. Spain, France.

Yeah. Hey, what are we losing you? No, I was just reading about the train. Yeah, I mean, the guy is like,

no, it's just, it's way too comfortable. I was listening. I'm in the middle of trying to describe my brother's poor kid trying to go to school. Her friends leave after a year. His bed's just reading Wikipedia. I mean, he's reading it off a big script.

I'm looking at ass on Instagram. Yeah, it's true. I'm glad the R train is the only train that sucks worse than the F. The R train's the worst. That's the worst. That's the worst. We live in Bay Ridge now. They call it the rarer than never. The Ridge now they call it the rarer than never

the R in the N the rarer than ever yeah because because driving though from Bay Ridge to New York City I can get to Bay Ridge from to downtown Manhattan

quicker than I could from Park Slope because at Park Slope you gotta just sit in that traffic by the fucking Barclays Center I don't my point is like what's so magical about Park Slope

that all these liberals and people that like want to fucking judge want to live there because it's not close to the city. It's brownstones. You nailed it. It's magical, right?

Something magical about it. And it's the slope. Yeah. The actual slope of the streets. And then there's the sun when it sets. It's just something about it, right? You're out on the street at like, you know, back. And it was just like you're playing ball or hanging out in the street.

And it's just something. It looks magical. Yeah. Something about it. Like what avenue are you talking, like Fifth Avenue? I'm talking about below Eighth, anywhere from the park, which is amazing. Because it goes right down.

I mean, it's a slope. It's a steep slope. It's a slope. It's a steep slope. So once you leave Prospect Park, which is already beautiful, it's better than Central Park. It's the same design.

Yeah. Yeah, we know. That Revolutionary War battle over there. Yeah, Battle of Brooklyn, August 1776. Yeah, there's a rock out there that's with a plaque on it. You can jog past it. Yeah, I could talk for days about the Battle of Brooklyn. It's a rock with a plaque.

That's a Brooklyn way to describe it. Yeah, they got a rock with a plaque. Yeah, they got a rock with a plaque on it. Somebody pisses on it every day. But it's like, it's just something magical about it. I don't know what it was. It was just something magical about it. Did you ever go to the Carriage House?

Was that around when you were there? It was around, but magical about it. Did you ever go to the Carriage House? Was that around when you were there? It was around, but I didn't go there yet. What's the Carriage House? It was an old Irish bar that just recently left, but it was one of the last things. The only things left are like Pinot's was there, but that came in the 80s. That might have been...

No, Pinot's was around the 60s. 70s or 60s? 60s. Wow. I'll tell you exactly what it used to be. It used to be next door, right? One next door? Pinot's, we'd go over there, play the jukebox. I was a Wow. I'll tell you exactly what he used to do. It used to be next door, right? One next door. Pinos.

We'd go over there, play the jukebox. I was a little kid. And then you had Pinos. You had the Laundry Man. It's the only store that still stands. Still there. Down the corner. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. And then you had the bars, the Iron Horse, the Stack of Barley, Ryan's, the Coach Inn, Snooki's. He was an alcoholic. Mooney's. Yeah. Camper Down Elm.

Mooney's. Yeah. Mooney's, Camper Down Elm Mooney's Yeah Mooney's Camper Down Elm Minsky's Yeah The mob bar James's Pub That was the That was the bar

With only like Six people in it Yeah It was like Guys would like Slick back here You go in there Just like

There was no There was no Nobody went in there Accidentally Everybody just knew You go in there They go Now you can't leave

Yeah No it was really Bombed Sorry And then Yeah Everybody just knew. You go in there, they go, now you can't leave. Yeah. No, it was really one of those. I bombed. Sorry. And then the gaslight. It was the gaslight to live you. And so all the way down, there was like bars.

There was like 30 bars. And that was 7th Avenue? 7th Avenue. Wow. And that's only from 2nd Street. Wow. Yeah. But you've been sober for how many years now?

I don't talk about that. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Wow. Yeah. But you've been sober for how many years now? I don't talk about that. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I mean, yeah. A long time. Oh, a long time. What does that have to do with it? Well, I don't know because you name all the bars

but you don't drink. I know, but this was back when I was young. Oh, and you weren't. Those bars don't exist anymore. Yeah, I remember we went into that bar in Dublin that you took

with the cheese sandwiches and you said to me, you said, you were like, hey, let's go. And I was like, all right, we go. And then you're like, if I would have stayed in there another five minutes, I would have been dead in six months.

That's what you said to me, because it was bringing back memories. Because you said it looked like a bar on Park Slope. You know, it's so true. The only time, I mean, I quit drinking in 1983. I was born in 84. See, there we go. Yeah. But I'm telling you, I bartended when I first got to, got I mean I've been in a hundred million bars

Yeah The only time I felt That feeling It was almost genetics Was in that bar with him Remember In Dublin Yeah

We walked in and I was like Oh Cause they had cheese sandwiches Just plain cheese sandwiches There was a rug Yeah Like everybody's hanging out And you

Those Irish guys They looked like they were like IRA guys Yeah Yeah they were just Sitting down with fucking You know like Park Slope yeah Yeah

And you two used to go there And drink there Bono Cause there were Irish bars In Park Slope There was some old Irish bars There was some Italian bars And then it was just

Kid bars And then it was hippie bars And then it was like Cuisine bars You know Guido None of those bars Serve brunch Like they do now

No No but Mooney's had a Salad bar I remember that I used to hit that they do now. No. But Mooney's had a salad bar. I remember that. I used to hit that salad. We used to go eat dinner at Mooney's. Really? And there was a salad bar. But it's all gone now. Is it a Lululemon store now? What is it now? Mooney's is like an Italian pizza place now.

Where Mooney's is, yeah. I'm not familiar with that Park Slope at all. I wish I was. Park Slope, it's fascinating because of what Colin says. It was so diverse around the time I grew up. It must be at some point in the 80s or 90s,

it must have been one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the world. And also socioeconomically diverse. Which is unique. Because you go one block that way, you were in a totally different socioeconomic bracket. When I was growing up, it was like 6th Avenue was the cutoff line. You can't go below 6th.

Oh, you went down to 5th and you were like... What are you doing? And now, 5th is the hottest. You go to Park Stope now, 7th Avenue is deserted. Yeah. There's nobody, even on the weekends, there's nobody on the street. 5th Avenue. 7th Avenue is hopping.

Yeah. And 5th Avenue is hopping. Yeah. It used to be the absolute reverse. Like, 7th Avenue was hopping. Yeah. And Fifth Avenue was hopping. Yeah. Yeah. It used to be the absolute reverse. Like, Seventh Avenue was like... And then it changed because when I was a kid, like, on my block, we had the McCormick's, the Horns. I mean, it was all retired Irish cops.

Right. Right. And Garganos, Italians. I mean, everyone was sitting out on lawn chairs. Yep. We used to play stoop ball. Yep. We did.

And yeah. And then, like, the... chairs we used to play stoop ball yep and uh and yeah and like my and then like and then like the i think they were like park slope was like the first gentrified neighborhood by people who grew up by people by parents who grew up in new york and like other areas did something well or were ultra liberal hippies and then moved to park slope yeah and they were like the progress they were like the first like woke kids right like those parents were like the foes like hey that's right you know and then like so they were mixed in with sort of like the irish working. Right. Like those parents were like the folks like, hey. That's right. You know? And then like, so they were mixed in with sort of like the Irish working class. I was going to say, but what about like the old school cops?

Even they were like more liberal woke cops. Well, I was young when they, but they were kind of like, that was towards the end of that, right? Yes. But even everybody was more, not so much if you, it wasn't, it was just everybody was so mixed in. Right. That it was like A lot of people

Like all the Italian guys Like Carol Street And all those guys They were like Serious people A lot of them Right But they would

Talk to black And Puerto Rico Like there was sort of a mix Even though it was You know Things could happen And everybody would know Exactly where they stood

Right But it was still people Right Conversed Or people would play ball together It was just a very There was a very fluid line. There was avenues and houses, lived next door to each other.

So it wasn't a very segregated area. Yeah, no, it wasn't segregated. You saw each other. You kind of intermingled on basketball courts. People knew each other. It was very diverse. You think you're smart and well-spoken and well-read now because of Park Slope. Both of you guys.

Yes. Because in my neighborhood in Ridgewood, I mean, Patty Fly Balls, the kid just, you know, he doesn't... We don't think like that. No, I think Park Slope has a lot to do with it. Yeah, of course. He was exposed to so much at such an early age. The people who moved to Park Slope, that was in the air. That was the energy.

It was intellectuals. It was kind of like... Progressive thinkers. And it was just... It was also just exposure to everybody. Like, look, I went to school. I'll give you the perfect example. I went to school with Lawrence Fishburne. Yep.

And he probably went to school with Foxy Brown. Yeah. Did you? I don't know. She's from Park Slough. She's a lot younger than me. No, but he went to an uppity prep school. He went to school with Liv Tyler.

I did. Liv Tyler? I did. York Prep. St. Anne's? No, York Prep. See, I know St. Anne's. But I went to PS3 21 and 51. I went to school with Liv Tyler. I did. Liv Tyler? I did. York Prep. Did you go to St. Anne's? No, York Prep. See, I know St. Anne's.

But I went to PS3 21 and 51. I went to 321 too? Yeah. And 51 was your rough school. Whoa, a couple of celebs from 321. Yeah. Yeah. And Fishburne went there too? You know Fishburne?

Was that how old? Fishburne went to 321? Yeah. Wow. How old is Foxy Brown? Can we look it up? I think she's younger than me. All right, I'll name somebody else you went to school with you didn't even realize.

Oh. Pumpkinhead. Ellen Cleghorn. Who's that? She's from Saturday Night Live. Oh. Oh, here's Foxy Brown. How old is Foxy?

41. Yeah, she's younger than me, but... Foxy Brown, when I was a kid, she had a music video where if you... She's from Park Slope? Yeah, no, she... She went to IS88. Wow.

You could see her nipples in one of the music videos to jerk off to it. I think she's hot. Yeah, everyone... Swear to God. Yeah. Everyone at Park Slope went to IS88. Wow. You can see her nipples in one of the music videos. She jerked off to it. I don't think she's hot. Yeah, everyone. Swear to God. Yeah. Everyone in Park Slope went to I88 or 321.

I went to I88 and 321, yeah. Oh, you went to both? Yeah. She's like blind now. I mean, I88 or 51, right? It was 88 or 51. Yes. Yeah.

I think she truly went blind now or deaf. What? Something happened to her. That's why you don't hear from her now. I think she went blind, truly. I think Biggie lived in Park Slope for a little while. I thought the person who jerks off goes blind, not the person you jerk off to. Yeah happened to her. That's why you don't hear from her. I think she went blind. Truly. I think Biggie lived in Park Slope for a little while. I thought the person who jerks off

goes blind, not the person you jerk off to. Yeah, I know. That's what my mother said because the nuns are watching. Doesn't say anything about it. Same thing if you sneeze and an angel's crossing

and you go blind. I think Biggie lived in Park Slope for a little while. I thought he lived on St. James. Is that Park Slope? I think he lived in... St. John's. St. John's.

Sorry about that. I think he might have... But St. John's goes across so it could also be... you know what I mean? A lot of times you get fooled Yeah, if you don't know better You end up in a neighborhood you're not supposed to be in on St. John's You're not on President Street

Medgar Everett's college is on President Street That's not the Park Slope He's from Clinton Hill Yeah, Clinton Hill It was the Park Slope So was Fort Greene, they all came He was close. Everything is Park Slope.

We just set the trend. Yeah. And yeah, so Lawrence Fishburne, I knew him since we were little kids. You still know him? Wow. You still keep in contact? Yeah. Well, if I see him, we're like, ah.

We talk about the old days. But yeah. I mean, we grew up with all the same people. We know each other. Yeah. Do you remember when Park Slope was just like 9th Street to Union and like 6th to the park? And now it's like you could be in Afghanistan. Yeah.

You'd be in Afghanistan. Like, this is the South Slope. Yes. Yeah. This is the Northwest Slope. Yeah. And you know what I always wanted to ask you? Because you did SNL.

And not that it's like, you know, I think it's like every young comedian's dream, you do SNL. I want to know, because sometimes I fantasize about what a call would be like for my agent telling me i got snl and then i listened to one episode of my podcast and i realized it's never going to happen i'm never ever going to be able to do snl because it should i said but what do you remember where you were when they called you and like hey you got snl yeah but i was old it was a different thing i was i came there as a writer right so and i'd already been on like mtv and i'd already been a writer on other show on living color so so being on snl as a writer. Right. So, and I'd already been on like MTV and I'd already been a writer on other shows, on Living Color.

So, so being on SNL as a writer, I was still happy to come back to New York and it was a dream. But it wasn't like, you know, I was like this bright eyed kid

like, I'm going to do SNL. You know what I mean? So it was kind of like, you know, you just, I was excited. Right.

Still SNL as a writer there is prestigious. But how did it work? Because you were a writer and then did you have to audition to do Weekend Update? No, it was just

a series of things. They just were like, hey, we're going to move you up, you're going to do Weekend Update. Yeah, it was just a series of inside things

where I just said, yeah. Now today, the news with Che because he fucking called Bruce Jenner a fella. What?

They want to fire him. He called him a what? A fella. See, now that to me is really offensive. They say they wanted to call him for Che's head. We live in a wild time. You could just say he called him a that to me is really offensive. They say they wanted to call him for Che's head. We live in a wild time.

You could just say whatever you want. You call him a fella and people are really upset? Yeah, I see. No, it's all over the news. It's like they want this kid fired. By the way, fella is an Arab, right? Like fella Dean. Isn't that like Arab?

Yeah. It means something in Arabic. If you say so, it is. Yeah. That's what it is too. I mean, Giannis and I, well, Giannis wrote an article and put it on Instagram and quoted that it was from the New Yorker and we're getting calls left and right from big people. Because I said, you know what? I'm going to start

lying a little bit more. Oh, it's not from the New Yorker? No. He wrote it from his bathtub. I wrote it in my underwear. Do you understand? I read that and I was going, I'm glad to see these guys. Because we just live in a fucking world where it's all smoke and mirrors. You say and do whatever you want. Reality is just a suggestion. And just the fact that the New Yorker

they go you know how they get New Yorker oh yeah my own agent was like how'd you swing that and I'm like oh connections he took credit for it

we got some big reviews coming from the New York Times too yeah yeah we got some big reviews coming and we got some famous comedians are going to

quote our work too coming up first of all... Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, well, you'll see. Keep watching our Instagram. I can't believe you guys aren't interested in fella, where it comes from.

I'm fella. I'll look it up on my phone, and then you guys... Fella. I don't know where it comes from, but I know that it's got Michael Che and hot water, and that's what a wild time we live in. This is Saturday Night Live. It is a peasant or agricultural laborer in an Arab country. Oh.

Wow, there you go. Colin was right. CQ. But here's what I'm saying. First of all, can you imagine? Here's Saturday Night Live. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. A lot of their news stories are supposed to be humor-based.

So if somebody calls somebody a fella, he's kind of trying to have fun and be humorous. Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong. What is going on? You tell us. What is going on? Is people losing their minds?

What is going on? Is everything just too easy now? Is the world too boring? What is going on? In our country? It's starting to feel weird. We're not sharing the same reality anymore No it's ridiculous

And like I said If the people That were bringing this down Were these brilliant comic minds I'd go you know what These people know what they're talking about It's the unfunniest people on the planet That are leading the charge

It's the people I always say No one ever says yeah my friend is activist funny It's the unfunniest people on the planet that are leading the charge. It's the people. If you're so, I always say, it's like no one ever says, yeah, my friend is activist funny. Activists, by nature, they're serious people. Yeah. Right. So they should be weighing in on serious matters, not weighing in on what passes for humor. That doesn't make sense.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. It's contradictory to their very nature. Whose fucking phone went off right in the middle of that great speech? Jesus Christ. He raises his hand proudly. That's almost as bad as when I was telling some sob story and Chris was looking at Wikipedia.

These are the moments we don't remember. You know how many times his phone is just on ring? Where I'm fucking crushing it and he just hears a ringtone. I don't want to get in the middle of the odd couple here. Hey, where's Bay Ridge Boys? Oh, my God. What do we got? Just hit it.

What do we got? Bay Ridge Boys, the new odd couple. You take the Bay Ridge Boys characters, only now you have them be like a clash of odd couples. They have to live together for whatever reason. Yes. And they have these micro things that only the Bay Ridge Boys can get into conflict with. So that's a great idea. We're going to talk to Andrew Schultz and see if we can get it on YouTube. Because the network doesn't matter.

I'll be the landlord. Yeah, what if you're the landlord? What if I'm like a real progressive liberal from Park Slope, and he's like an ultra right-wing city worker from the Detroit? I like it better if you guys are the Bay Ridge boys, though. But if we're living in Bay Ridge, an apartment in Bay Ridge, and this yacht couple, I'm going like, I'm voting for Elizabeth Warren.

He's like, you fucking FF. Yeah, and my job, I'm actually a firefighter, a cop, and a garbage man all at the same time. Yeah, and your dog, your pet is also a firefighter. But I still, you know, I still rearrange my schedule. I always watch the Yankees. Yeah. Are you a Mets fan or a Yankees? Mets.

Oh, how did that happen? Why? I grew up in Brooklyn at the time. You had to be a Mets fan. I guess you just chose. All my friends were Yankee fans. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I feel like my whole block was Mets fans. Yeah. Brooklyn. It's the same with the Knicks, you know, but now I want to be a Nets fan. Be a Nets fan. I'm trying to be a Nets fan. It's going to be easy. I'm going to the Knicks game tonight.

You are? I'm going to the Knicks. Knicks Bulls. That's why I got my jacket. You got a Knicks jacket. You got a Knicks shirt on. Oh trying to be a Nets fan. Nets are a better product than Nets. I'm going to the Knicks game tonight. You are? Knicks Bulls. That's why I got my jacket. Because you got a Knicks jacket. You got a Knicks shirt on. Oh, I do, yeah. Yeah.

The Knicks are terrible. I feel like the Knicks, I feel like it's haunted. You know what I mean? Right. Like Madison Square Garden for the Knicks is haunted. Yeah, it never works out for us. Because in 1973, 69 was this big year. So we all listened to the game, and it was like this amazing game. What year were you born? 59. Okay. So 69 was this big year. So we all listened to the game.

What year were you born? 59. So 69 was 10. I still remember to listen to the game on the radio. It's like you heard it. It's like you were there live. Marv Albert, when there was no TV, Marv Albert was the greatest announcer of all time.

The greatest. He spoke really fast and really loud. He'd give you every play. He'd be saying, and you'd be listening, you know, really. And then 73, they won again. But,

you know, and then it just, ever since then, there's been this weird energy in the garden. Because it's embarrassing to have this many bad teams like the Jets and the Mets and the Giants

when you're the biggest city with the most money in history. Yeah. Yeah. It's not Tulsa. We have records for the past 30 years. We live in Tulsa. I was at the Garden last night.

I was watching the Rangers game with my boy Patty Flyballs and we were sitting up high and one of the lights at the top of the arena, it didn't affect the rink or whatever, but one of the lights was just out. I'm like, it's fucking Madison Square Garden and one of the lights are out? What the fuck? He doesn't care. He was handed the team

and he doesn't care. But then how the team, and he doesn't care. But then how come the Rangers are good? They've been good this year. They've sucked this year. That's a good point. You Rangers and Yankees throw my whole theory off. Well, the reason why the – well, no, I know the exact reason why the Rangers are good as far as James Dolan because James Dolan has no jurisdiction and does not interfere at all with Rangers personnel.

He only interferes with the Knicks. Oh, that makes sense. That's the reason is right there, clear as day. Why is that? Do you think because he's short? He doesn't because I think he doesn't understand or know anything about hockey, and Rangers are such like a moneymaker, and I believe because of – But he knows so much about basketball.

That's like the old joke. He's proving he doesn't know anything. I know. One of the worst things ever is I remember when I had the show on IFC. It was called Benders, fucking one and done, and one season and out. And he made us – he made the cast of Benders, and along with a lot of other people, I was sitting in between – this is true. To my left, Harvey Weinstein.

To my right, Les Moonves. And he took us to the cutting room. And he dreamed you were skiing? Yeah, and he made us a fucking two-and-a-half-hour performance for his band. We had to go watch him and his son singing this band and it's brutal. It's fucking brutal. We had no choice.

We just had to do it or else the show was going to get taken off the air, which it did anyway. Wow. It was brutal. He's got no motivation to change the Knicks because they're sold out every night. What does he care? They're sold out every night. So what does he care? They're sold out every night, no matter what you do.

It's the only team that hasn't made the playoffs once or twice that's sold out no matter what. If you saw the Knicks, how horrible they were last year, they still made, I think, $20 million more than the Raptors did. And they won the championship. Yeah. Wow. Because of their gear, the ticket prices. Don't forget, a Raptors seat doesn't cost what a Knicks seat costs. Right.

You know what I mean? It just doesn't. Right. So it's like all that shit. The concessions, they still make more money. So yeah, when you talk to a guy like James Dolan, he's like, why change? Yeah. Because it's New York.

So no matter what, it's going to be sold out. You know? New York sells tickets, babe. Yeah. And like we were talking about, we grew up in a time where people wanted to get out of the city. Right. Do you remember when people wanted to get out? Oh my God, they gave away those houses in Park Slope. Yeah, they gave away. I mean,

my father bought the house that I grew up in from a family named the Murphys. They had a coal, I think it was heated by coal. They had to redo the whole thing for $28,000. That's how much he bought it from.

Now it's worth 4.5 mil. Now it's expensive. The building on the corner, I said this in my book, I think, the building on my corner, dirt floors. Legit dirt floors. We used to tell the kids, go home and water your floor.

Just go home and rake the floor. Yeah, shit like that. But they had dirt floors. Do you own the house that you grew up in? No, we got rid of it in the 80s like idiots. Right. Oh, people got rid of it. Yeah, that's-

We bought in- I mean, I bought in Fifth Street in 1996, I think. Oh, so you're still good. It's still okay, but I mean, you know. So you own a place in Park Slope. Well, the family owns it. But still, it's a nice investment. Oh, so you're still good. It's still okay, but I mean, you know. But it's a... Oh, so you own a place in Park Slope. Well, the family owns it. But still, it's a nice investment. Oh, yes.

In 96, it wasn't called... Well, it's always a place to live anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I live in Bay... I bought in Bay Ridge. What do you think of that? I think it's a great idea.

Bay Ridge is the... Thank you. ...is the neighborhood. He moved to North Salem now. What? I'm moving to North... You did? I'm moving to Westchester, yeah.

You bought in North Salem. I like North Salem. Same block as Paul Verzi and Bobby Kelly. It's like horse country, you know. I think Bobby's looking to move there I like North Salem. Same block as Paul Verzi. It's like horse country. I think Bobby's looking to move there too. Yeah. Same block as Paul Verzi? Yeah, same block as Paul Verzi.

Which just ended up being that way. Like I was trying. Really? You weren't even trying? I wasn't trying. We were looking, looking, and then it was a place. I mean, I know it was there, but it was like, it just, the people who were selling needed somebody who didn't need to move in order, because they needed to buy a place before they could move out. Right.

And we're not in a rush. And it's just kind of like – That's great. Because everything else was going too quick. Well, this – yeah. And places like Bay Ridge, I remember the apartment that I bought now, like 30 people had looked at it, right? And it's still like that old school New York thing where I come in and he's looking around and he's looking at me. He goes, what's your last name?

I was like, DiStefano. He was like, how much can you give right now? It was just like right away. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just like, hey. Was he Italian? Yeah.

And I was like, he doesn't say anything, but you know what it is. You know what? It's racism. Bay Ridge feels a little like Park Slope in the 80s and 90s. I believe it, yeah. It's the only neighborhood that still has that feel. Like, I'll tell you what. There's a cafe on the corner of 3rd Avenue and 91st Street in Bay Ridge

that when Trump won, they gave out free black and white cookies for the whole day. It's one of those neighborhoods. That's the only place in Brooklyn that probably did that. Yeah. No, they have. Well, not the only one There's one or two places in Marine Park Yeah Marine Park

But what about the Yeah they have the best bakeries Oh my god the best Italian food ever I mean it's fucking crazy It's great Yeah We eat pizza I mean I eat pizza

Elegante Elegante's good Yeah It's very underrated Now it's about Nino's and Nono's Oh Yeah You don't even know No I don't I only know Elegante's good Yeah It's very underrated Now it's about Ninos and Nonos Oh Yeah You don't even know

No I don't I only know Elegante Has been there forever Yeah Because my cousins You know my whole family Is from Bay Ridge Really

Yeah Oh so you were Park Slope No I mean I grew up in Park Slope But all my My mother and father Grew up in Bay Ridge And Sunset Park

And they moved out of Sunset Park When that got bad But Bay Ridge My mother lived on 82nd and 5th Right above a candy store Right above the candy store on 82nd and 5th. So we spent all our childhoods going back and forth to Bay Ridge.

All the old Bay Ridge places. Now Bay Ridge is like a destination. If you live on Staten Island, Bay Ridge is like going to the city. That's like going out in the city. If you're from Staten Island, going to a restaurant on a Friday night with your family, that's a real Staten Island thing to do, go out in Bay Ridge. Now do you remember,

you may be too young, but on 86th Street, it used to be like all Italian kids from Staten Island, Jersey, everyone would go and cruise 86th Street. I remember that, yeah. I remember that. It was like this crazy-

Like what? That was just like they would drive, that was just like- That was a night out. Friday night. Drive and blast music and pick each other up and just drive up and down 86th Street. Just everybody ripped and just girls wearing tightest clothes

and the guys wearing the tightest clothes. Yeah. It was like in the 80s. It was such a New York thing. Yeah. Like Saturday Night Fever type stuff. Yes. Yes.

It was Italian over there. It was very Italian. Very Italian. Yeah. This is a very inside New York podcast, but let's be honest. It's a niche market right now in the podcast world. So if you're not from New York and you don't care about this, fuck you.

Who else gets reviewed from the New Yorker? What's more New York than that? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And it's also where Colin Quinn grew up, Park Slope. When you got on SNL, you must have been a fucking star in the Slope. You used to walk into Pino's and they were like slices on us.

And they didn't hit on your mom that day because they would just flirt with your mom in front of you. Wow. Your sister, your mom, your girlfriend, the kids that used to work at Pino's, they would just flirt in front of you

like the Italian guys. Same with Smiley's. Well, it's funny because the guy across the street from me growing up was a mob guy and when my mother would walk out, hey, Red,

how about a steak dinner? We would always ask her out for a steak dinner because my parents were divorced. And his wife, Mary, would be sitting right there like this, fuming. And he asked my mother that every day for like probably months or years. Hey, Red, how about a steak dinner? He wanted to take her out for a steak dinner. Yeah, he wanted to have a gumar. He was trying to make her have a gumar.

Yeah, right across the street. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. But Pinot's, when I was a a kid We saw Pino's one time This is how crazy they were They were Italians From the other side

And the mob guys Came in to collect Because in those days The mob collected A February on 7th of November You know Yeah And then

The brother One of Pino's brothers Was a hothead Because Pino was like The leader But he had these Three brothers Who were

Boba Jelly The mob guy Boba Jelly In Italian Throws the money down And the mob guy, bye-bye. Yelling in Italian. He throws the money down. And the mob guy just takes it and looks at him.

I was like, even his little kids were like, this guy's got balls. He's like, yeah, I'll fucking pay. But no one knows what he's saying. Like, you guys don't do your job. Yeah, I remember. I remember because I went to St. Joseph's College in downtown Brooklyn. And we used to hang out in Bay Ridge. That's where everyone used to go.

13 Mall America. Yeah, absolutely. And we were outside Kettle Black, which is on 3rd Avenue and 89th Street, right? Kettle Black, you remember, you know that bar. So that's been there for a while. So Kettle Black, and it was like these mafia guys that were like, I guess they own maybe the place next door, and we're in Kettle Black, we're outside,

and there's a meter maid walking around giving tickets. And he's fucking writing the ticket, and the Italian guys come out, and they're like, yeah, you can't give us a ticket. And, you know, negotiate with them and then they fucking take his ticket book, throw it across the street

and they proceed to try to grab him and stuff him inside a mailbox. Oh my God. Yeah. It's like a Scorsese movie. Just mafia shit, you know? Well, back then

everyone was being extorted. If you had a cash business, you were being extorted. Yeah. I mean, it was like, like you can't get away with anything. The only reason things are safer now is because can't get away With anything The only reason

Things are safer now Is because Nobody can get away With it anymore Because of cameras Yeah Cameras and like Fingerprints and forensics

Yeah You know you're just You're gonna get caught For whatever you do Right But a lot of people Say that in those In the days of corruption

You could get things done And now no one Can get anything Because now It's not corrupt So it's all red tape. So nothing gets accomplished. That's a good point.

Like in the old days, I was in Mexico a couple years ago, and we're driving back from the airport, and I go to the driver. I go, did the cops and police pull you over? You have to pay them off. And he goes, no, they don't take it anymore. You can't deal with anybody Like you can't He was basically complaining

Like I can't do what I need to do Yeah I can't The only way is you pay them a few dollars And you get to do what you need to do Right Yeah Right Yeah he's like

You can't You can't tip anybody off You gotta admit Like yeah I mean If Mexico's not corrupt Then what's What's the hope for the rest of the world Yeah

I know I gotta go to my friend's I was telling him before I gotta go to my friend's wedding Invite him to the wedding Be in the bridal party It's in Mexico I don't wanna go I don't wanna go to Mexico But they're. I know. I got to go to my friend's wedding. I was talking to him before. I got to go to my friend's wedding. Invite me to the wedding. Be in the bridal party. It's in Mexico. I don't want to go.

I don't want to go to Mexico. But they're saying I'm an asshole. I got to go. Where is it? I don't fucking know. You said Cancun? Cancun. Cancun. Oh, yeah.

You don't got to worry about that. No. Yeah. Yeah, but what about the drives to the airports? It's fine from Cancun. Yeah, you're fine. It's central and the west coast is the problem. Somebody got gunned down in Cancun weeks ago. Yeah, somebody. Somebody got gunned down in the street. Yeah, you're fine. It's central and the west coast is the problem. Somebody got gunned down in Cancun weeks ago.

Yeah, somebody. Somebody got gunned down in the street here. Somebody got kicked in the subway. We just watched it on video. Yeah, I mean, things happen. You're going to be fine. Were you there? Were you in Park Slope on December 16, 1960 when a United Airlines plane collided?

No, but that was- That's a famous Park Slope story, though. The most famous. What's the story from your guys' point of view? Or what you heard? Well, we heard that a plane, everybody got on the plane. One kid lived

and then died the next day. Yeah. Do you know exactly where it went down? You know the spot it happened at? Yeah, Sterling and 7th. Sterling and 7th, yeah. So they collided midair.

Midair. Jesus Christ. And one, I think one fell in Staten Island and then one fell on Park Slope. And I'll tell you who used to live there, Kitty Genovese,

the famous story in Queens. Remember the girl that got killed? That happened in my neighborhood. She got killed in my neighborhood, but she grew up there. She grew up right down the block from that plane crash. Yeah.

Who's this? Kitty Genovese. It's the girl who kept crying for help and nobody and every other neighbor thought that the other ones were doing it. That happened right outside Danny's Pizzeria, right in Queens. We know exactly where that...

She was murdered. And she grew up in Park Slope? She was born in Park Slope. Called it CQ. Born in the Bible of CQ. She grew up in Park Slope. I'll swear by it. You know who...

She might have grown up in Sterling Place. Wow. Do you know who... I remember when we were kids, Kelly McGillis, is that her name? She lived in... My friend went out with her. Yeah. She lived in Park Slope with me, and me and my friends, we were little, we would always just stay by her house trying to... Who's Kelly McGillis? She was in My friend went out with her Yeah She lived in Park Slope And me and my friends We were little We would always just like

Just stay by her house Trying to Who's Kelly McGillis She was in Top Gun The actress I don't know Top Gun Witness

Google Kelly McGillis Yeah Yeah so you went outside where We were just She was on It's Garfield Right It was Garfield

Yeah Was that We thought it was on Garfield I think it was Garfield Yeah But This lady grew up in Park Slope No

Oh shit She actually had something horrible happen Yes Not there Not in Park Slope. This lady grew up in Park Slope? No. Oh, shit. She actually had something horrible happen there. Yes. Not there. Not in Park Slope. What happened? It wasn't in Park Slope. It was Columbia University.

Oh, yeah. I thought it was a Park Slope girl. Yeah. No. This is after she was in the movie, she moved to Park Slope. No, she moved. Really? She moved there, and then she was in the movie.

Yeah, then she got the... She moved out if that horrible thing happened. Right. What happened? She was assaulted in her home, like a home invasion. Really? Yeah. Oh, my God.

She's talking about it on TV. Yeah, it's horrible. She was raped. It was bad. It was bad. Fucking brutal. But that was up by Columbia. And then she moved to Park Slope, actually, after that.

So the assault didn't happen in Park Slope. No. And then- Shit. I used to work at the liquor store, Sean's Liquors. I sold her a couple of bottles of wine back in the day.

Wow. I remember because she was so beautiful. I'd give her another bottle of liquor. I don't know why she didn't give a second glance to a liquor store clerk. Sean's Liquors is not there anymore either. No, I think it's still there. Is it? It's got to be there. Sean's Liquors is not there anymore either No I think it's still there Is it?

It's gotta be there Sean's Lick is And the laundromat There's probably like five places Where was Sean's Lick? Where is it? Between Carroll and Garfield on 7th Right across from Snooki's and the coach

And all those places All these places sound made up Yeah yeah Everything you said It all sounds like from a movie set Brownies and Yeah That is funny.

I had pizza and smileys, then we went over to Snooki's. Yep. Pinot's. Vinny, I have to pee so bad. It actually hurts. You just peed before you came. I know, but I've been drinking so much water, and I'm kind of still hungover, so it's just my body's not working.

You've got to hold it. We've got Colin Quinn here. I know, but Colin. Probably got a prostate. You can go. Who cares? All right, fine. You said I could go.

Yeah, you can go. You're going to be honest. I'll talk. Yeah. Let's be honest. I probably still have got a prostate. Yeah, you can go. Alright, fine. You said I could go. Let's be honest. I probably still have chlamydia. Yeah, you got a little bit of a drip. When did he first get rid of chlamydia? It's a reoccurring thing with him. Oh, I didn't know it could reoccur. He's had a few bouts.

He's had a few bouts of chlamydia. They know him at the drugstore. He walks in, he just nods, and they just hand him the antibiotic It's like Chris The drugstore is like his cheers They walk in It's like the place where everyone knows his name I mean the kid's had chlamydia like seven times

Yeah he's got it a few times Yeah he's a wild kid I'm sure you know Yes, of course But I think that If you guys did the Bay Ridge Boys as the odd couple I think He'd have to be this wild kid

And you're trying to settle down And you know Ah, that's what it would be Then you could always have The progressive neighbors Of course Yeah But I'm saying But you just have to be You guys

You know And you're sharing You know the house You know Yeah Or you're sharing the porch Yeah You know

Yeah By the way It's a good thing you're moving out You see that guy Smashing pumpkins I did see that In Bay Ridge In Bay Ridge

Yeah And he was wearing a fedora Yeah Yeah How did you get that That was like daily News, right? No, that was all over the internet for six hours. Ah.

In New York. Because it was, yeah, I saw it in like the Bay Ridge Gazette or whatever. Home Reporter and Sunset News. Yeah. The Bay Ridge had the Spectator and the Home Reporter, Sunset News. Yeah. Do you remember when it was all local news? Yes.

Do you remember when you had no idea what was going on? Unless it was like a massive, like art, like the news was just like, it was all local news? Yes. Remember when you had no idea what was going on? Unless it was like a massive, like art, like the news was just like, it was like Bernard Getz for like a year. Yes. It was like Robert Chambers

who actually was York Prep. That's the school I went to. Remember he murdered the Central Park? Look, look. It's Mad Dog Matter doing it. Dude, is that Mad Dog? I know, bro.

I said that when I first saw it. I was like, that looks like James. Yeah. Yeah. Bam. But I like how this guy, the guy is not backing down. He just put a camera down there and then it got injured.

He was like, yeah, we'll see. We'll see if he wants to smash any more pumpkins now. He's out there with a baseball bat. That's the way to do it. Yeah. Old school. Old school. Well, he doesn't know the guy, huh?

Mm-mm. No, no, no. The guy was just smashing pumpkins, specifically his house. You want to know an interesting fact? Yes. HHFOD? Yes. The only other St. Paddy's Day parade that happens in New York happens in Park Slope.

Really? Well. Unless I'm wrong. You're wrong. Uh-oh. But. Here we go. I think there's one in Queens, too.

Okay. But the St. Patrick's Day parade in Park in Queens, too. Okay. But the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Park Slope, you're right. It's the biggest. Is it one in Queens? Does it still go on? Can we look at that parade? I remember it like my whole life because it would come down Prospect Park West, and I grew up between 8th and the park, and we'd all run up and watch it.

The bagpipe. Something about bagpipes makes you just want to kill English people. It's just what it is. You feel it in your bones. Something about it shakes your bones. It's inspiring. The first years of that parade, I don't know what year. It was like 78, 80, 79.

I was a teenager already. But the Park Slope Parade, the St. Patrick's Day Parade, is that the only one or no? Yeah, it says it's in Park Slope. And then the St. Patrick's Day Parade, is that the only one or no? Yeah, it says it's in Park Slope, and then the next day it's in Bay Ridge. Oh, yeah, because Bay Ridge has one on 3rd Avenue. We have the Norwegian Day Parade, too. But the first couple of years,

whenever it started, the early 80s, late 70s, they would have in full baklavas IRA guys. Wow. Fully covered. And the first couple of years, we were like, oh, shit. And there'd be like six, eight IRA guys walking down, fully covered, masks and stuff, pictures taken. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. In Port Sober, right on 7th Avenue, the IRA guys. Wow. That's how hardcore the Irish thing used to be. Yeah, that thing. And nobody would complain. Right. Yeah. thing used to be And nobody would complain Right, yeah

That used to be They're not totally over it though, right? It's like they kind of just deal with each other now No, it's been coming back What is? The Irish beef? I mean, yeah It's like one's Protestant, one's Catholic That's all it is

It's the weirdest thing to me I mean, still to this day When we were in Ireland I remember we were talking to some of the Irish people And there was one comic that that told me, I don't know if you were with us, you might have been on stage, but, you know, you were on stage because we were watching you, because that's how we started talking about this. Because you were talking about it, he was like, oh, he was like, you know, for an American, for an Irish American, he knows what to say and what not to say. And I was like, what do you mean? He said, well, you know, we're in Dublin right now. He said, but if you were in Belfast, and he was talking on stage about being Catholic or anything about Catholicism, he may still have a big problem.

And I'm like, wow. And he said, if he was talking about Protestants here, he still may have a big problem. And that was two years ago. That's so fucking crazy. And I'm like, wow. Because it doesn't get covered in the news. But he's like, listen, it's not like – he said, it's just – he said, guys – he said, the thing is this. The comedian explained to me this way. He said, you've got to understand, there's still guys alive right now that killed people for being one of that other religion.

And you don't just let that go. He said, the younger kids, we don't have a problem with it. He said, but you'll still run into a 70-year-old guy who, if he sees a Catholic tattoo and he's Protestant, may be like, I'll cut your fucking arm off. So it's almost gone. It's almost gone. But he said, there's still people alive. I mean, that, you know, massacres happened in the 80s. I remember.

How does that, how did it get like that? How do you get to the point where you're going like, you fucking, you ate a wafer this morning? You know? You fucking had a wafer? Fucking religion, man. Did you just come from fucking mass? Because it was England.

Because they were the colonialists. It was the British. So the Protestants want to be Britain be Britain like they call it Northern Ireland but that's why they're part of the UK north of Ireland right got it so so it's like those so when they broke up they still said no fuck you we're keeping these six colleges because we have a lot of British people here you know when Ireland freed in like 1921. So then ever since then, and like the Irish Catholics, they give them the shitty jobs on the docks. And, you know, so the other,

the Protestants did better. Right. So ever since then, it's been, and then what really, the whole IRA thing was gone almost. And then 1969, the Protestants, the Catholics were having like protest marches and Protestants burned down,

like just attacked them. Like all these Protestant groups, just the Ulster Defense Regiment and they burnt down. So that's why and the IRA wasn't even around so they called me I ran away. Then the IRA rebuilt and came in. So the British soldiers

came in in 1969 to protect the Catholics but then like anything else once you're in somebody's neighborhood it just gets to be That was this Easter Sunday Massacre right? No that was 72 that was in Derry. gets to be... That was this Easter Sunday Massacre, right? No, that was in 72. That was in Derry. Sunday Bloody Sunday. That was 72. That was the same.

My ex-girlfriend, she's from Fort Edward, New York. It's like a small village upstate New York. All Irish up there. Her father had 10 brothers. By Rochester or something? It's by Glens Falls like closer to Albany

Fort Edwards an Irish name yeah well it's just all Irish kids it's like 300 people live in Fort Edward and then you got like but it's all

it's like a breezy point it's like tiny yeah it's like a little village up there and like her father had like 10 brothers they were Irish they were Irish

and he would we would get hammered he was the greatest guy greatest guy and he would just start get hammered he was the greatest guy greatest guy and he would just start playing IRA fight songs and those things they get you fired up yeah those if you ever hear like an actual IRA you know and that's what happens at the bars right like they would play it back then and then they don't get fired up and the next thing you know there'd be a fuck Iraq chant that's what happens yes exactly yeah it's like Those songs Like they get under you

Like you wanna You wanna fight Yeah Irish are fighting I know they're called The stereotype is the fighting Irish I feel like But Irish kids like to fight

And they don't go down Yeah Do you think Notre Dame In our lifetime Is gonna have to change their name From the fighting Irish You think it's happening Well to change that logo

Yes It's very offensive You're gonna have to change it right Yeah What should it be Just a four leaf clover What should it be I know It's very offensive. You're going to have to change it, right? Yeah. What should it be? Just a four-leaf clover? What should it be?

I know. It's not defining Irish like that. How accurate was the Brothers McMullen to you? Was that like the Irish by Big Fat Greek Wedding? No. I knew it was funny when I was thinking it. Yeah. Did you and your brothers just put on gloves and go outside? You know what could have been a great movie, speaking of Greek horror,

but it wasn't, but it could have been so good, was My Life in Ruins. They're traveling through Greece with a tour group, and they go to all these Greek spots, and I was like, they're going to hit some of the deep points. Of course, they hit none of them. But it's one of those movies that should have been, if you ever do a movie,

you should try to make it like that structure, but then really go into it what it means. One of the funniest things out right now is Cop Show. When you started recently on Instagram, we fucking laugh our asses off. I'm happy you put it out. The fact that that show never got made on TV just shows you that TV sucks.

Mia Vardals could get punched through. She'll get punched through. She's a good look. Is this a free episode? I didn't mean that, Mrs. Pappas. I said that. Chris said that. My wife listens to the podcast. She's hot in that. Now I'm going to get fucking yelled at. She's a good looking woman.

Very nice, too. She's a fan of Mr. Pappas, right? She's been nice to me. She's Canadian. They're all kind of nice. Is she a fan of HH? I don't think she'll be a fan of this. No, this is not her cup of tea. This is not woke enough. No.

Yeah. Well, I don't know if she's woke, but she's... No, but in Hollywood, if you're an actress, very few are not woke and dope. I think her mistake was she tried to do the sitcom, like kind of milk it a little too much. Probably, yeah. I mean, it was like, you can't redo that. I don't even know. There was a sitcom?

Yeah, it was two seasons, I think. It didn't do well. I mean, she had to. It was okay. Had to take the money. But she made enough money off that movie, right, that her career set? I don't know how. Or did you not make that much money in the first go around?

I know Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks made a lot of money off that. Sure. Yeah. But did they just buy her story? I don't. They made the movie for $5 million. It's the highest grossing comedy of all time. It was made for $5 million. It's the highest grossing comedy of all time. It was made for $5 million.

It made like $500 million. Chaz Pomateri told me the story when Robert De Niro saw Bronx Tale when he was performing it. He bought Bronx Tale. De Niro bought Bronx Tale for like an insanely low price because Chaz had nothing. And then Bronx Tale became what it became, and he only made a deal on the back end on DVD sales. You know, Chaz makes a lot of money, but he said on Bronx Tale, he was like, you know, people think I made money off that. It's really not.

He said because you just have to sign a shit deal when you have nothing. No. De Niro made all the money. Listen, Chris. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I didn't make no money,

and de Blasio's a homo. I went to see you live. I went to see you live at the, I had front row seats and i it was before you probably even knew like my name or who i was at all you just knew your sister-in-law huh yeah i just i just knew his ex-wife yeah i know your ex-wife um and uh it was the first one you did the story short one the long story short it was so fucking good But I remember I was sitting in the front At Cherry Lane Theater Yeah I was hoping

I was like he knows who I am I think he knows who I am I think he's looking at me But you probably It was fucking so good It was when It was like on Broadway Yeah

It was like that one was on Broadway I went and saw it there live And then I saw it again When it was You know on Was it on HBO after that? Yeah HBO bought it Yeah But that was, you know, on, was it on HBO after that? Yeah. HBO bought it. Yeah.

But that was the first of this new thing that you started. You like found that, you were like, this is, you were able to take it off. What you guys are doing,

it's the same thing. History, people act like we're talking about history. We're talking about today, it's history. It's the same thing. Right, right, right.

Well, but even, but that's always been Colin Sott. If you watch his HBO special, the first one where he's wearing the pirate's jacket. And I have a mullet. And he's got a mullet. I mean, the kid was a skinny kid. Skinny kid.

He could have got punched through back then. Yeah, it's good. He was a good looking kid. It's a skinny kid. It's a little thing called cocaine. It's not cocaine. No, I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.

So it's like, but even his style then. That was the one where he sat on the stage and got all. Yeah, and it wasn't history. But it was, that style is unique to Colin. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, but that was much different. And then Nanette tries to do it now.

It's not funny. Well, what's that? No, I said Nanette, Hannah Gadsby tried to do it. It's just not funny. I love how everyone just calls her Nanette. Yeah, it's like, yeah, she's the next one that's going to write a review, a positive review about us too, by the way. She'll never be famous. Quoted by Hannah Gadsby.

Because the truth is, I could just say quoted by Hannah Gadsby and put a picture of Giannis' face and it looks like enough like Hannah Gadsby. People go, that's her. Yeah, it's her. She said it. Probably just, they just probably think this is your podcast and I'm just, I'm just a nanette. Well, that's the thing. If I made a video of you saying, if I made a video

of you saying, I love the History of Anglias podcast and you put a little Australian accent on it, and I would just say, Hannah Gadsby, shout us out there. It's just like, wow, it's amazing. Especially if I shaved. If I had a clean face. Seriously, that should be your next character. Yeah, look at CQ, man. Why did you wear the Pirates jacket? How did they feel about that in New York? You know, at the time,

it's so, I can't even begin to describe what was going on at that point. You look... But that's just what happens. He's a German kid. Yeah. I look like Christian Bale in The Fighter, somebody said.

Yeah, that's funny. Like when he was on crack. Yeah. You also look like Eileen Wuornos, the person in the serial killer. Oh, I love Eileen Wuornos. Yeah, in Monster. You got a little bit of that haircut vibe.

I like her. Me too. She fucking did what she was supposed to do. Not only did she kill guys, but she let the nerd go. Remember? Yeah. You guys are good. I never did this.

She's like, all right, go. Get out of here. Yeah. What's your favorite ones? My favorite are, I love them all, but my favorite is New York Story. Me too. And the first one, Long Story Short. Yeah.

I love the way it ends in the car. Yeah. It's like you know Yeah It's a callback Here's how favorite My New York story one was to me That when I was in an ambulance

With a heart attack And I thought I was dying I was losing breath What do you call that Respirating What do you call it Cardiac arrest When you start

Your breathing starts getting Lower and lower What's the medical term Dying Shallow breath I thought it was like Respirating I don't know Iow breath. I thought it was like respirator. I don't know.

I was literally like this. And I was like, at least I got New York story out. Wow. Really? Yeah. That's how much I love New York. Because the way we all grew up. I mean, you know, New York, what it meant.

And to be able to say, hey, guess what? This is not crazy. This is not racist. Oh, shallow breath. This is how we grew up. Yeah. Like that was so For some reason

That meant more to me Than any of it You know what I mean Yeah So you really thought that When you were laying there I really thought that And here I am

We're celebrating We're talking about Park Soap We're celebrating this beautiful New York vibe And Chris is looking up Shallow breath I can't handle it No no

He's looking up Shallow breath Because he doesn't like his ego. No, because I said. No, no. It's his ego. He's like, I'm the medical guy. He looked at me for the answer, and I didn't have it.

Yeah. I'm going to get it. Yeah. You're going to get it off Google, which I could have done. Yeah, he could have done it. No, but you should have celebrated with us. No, check the tape. It could have been the end of the podcast.

Check the tape. I said dyspnea. Nobody listened. You guys were talking about it. And then I just had to fact check it, and I was right. Wait a minute. It's called dyspnea. I want to check this out about dyspnea. Dyspnea. Mike, you heard me say dyspnea before I had to fact check and I was right. Wait a minute. It's called Dyspnea. I want to check this out about Dyspnea.

Dyspnea. Mike, you heard me say Dyspnea before I busted out the phone. I told you. But they were too busy talking about fucking Colin's heart attack to realize what a true genius I am.

It could have been a perfect wrap up for all of us for loving New York and instead it's about Dyspnea. That's going to be the wrap up. Yeah, Percy Dyspnea.

The kid, I mean, he was talking about the thoughts about the special he shot Yeah He's on his deathbed And you're going like I'm on fucking dating apps

You're googling cuz I'm fucking Yeah Yeah Yeah He's on WebMD Yeah No I mean you are

A fucking smart kid No one's denying you're smart I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm just I'm not knowledgeable In the medical field.

You're a doctor. You're basically a doctor. I got a doctorate. Yeah. Your aunt still thinks you're a doctor. Yeah. She thinks I'm a doctor and she thinks I think with my dick. She told us that.

And also her house smells like Newports and fucking corn chips. Yeah. It's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah. It's a familiar smell. Yeah. It smells like working class Brooklyn.

You're in New York. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It smells like a Trump voter. Yeah. So Colin, he's in the ambulance.

He's dying and he thinks the New York story. I think the New York story because I was like, the beauty of like you doing the magic and just that everything was intertwined in that way and it's gone now. It's just this thing where there's so many rules and regulations to what's appropriate and it just, it's just this thing where there's so many rules and regulations to what's appropriate and it just yeah it's dead and i knew it last year my friend was was he he does mold inspections so he's out in bedford stuyvesant i get a call from his phone and it's a lady east new york

actually east new york brownsville east new york lady calls me up black lady it's like hey um did you this phone i see this number on the phone Some guy left his phone And I'm like oh That's my friend You're right And she goes Yeah

I mean is he Is he a white guy I'm sorry but there was a white guy here earlier And I was like This lady from Brownsville Going I'm sorry Is he a white guy I was like it's over

Yeah If she's If she's worried about being politically correct Do somebody a favor Try to find their phone guy I was like It's over If she's If she's worried about Being politically correct Do somebody a favor Try to find their phone In Brownsville It's over

Is there any good part Do you think there's any Positivity to it Do you think it's like The world's a better place Or people trying to be good It's all bad I mean I don't see the good part

I mean you know I think that I think It's just phony bullshit Well it's just There's something about it That's just When you're not Able to certain things, it's fake.

You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. It's just there's something about it. It just rubs me. My gut, my gut instinct is that it's wrong, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

When Colin talks, so Colin's got the kind of, especially to like a guy like me, when he talks, I listen. It's like he's already like, he's like my de facto leader because in his wedding, he said to me, he said, Chris, you know, there's going to be a lot of ladies there. He said, do me a favor, take a night off tonight. And I did. And I took a night off. And that's what CQ said and I did. And I listened because he's

my boss. He was basically saying just have a little fucking respect for my wedding. He said, take a night off. I'm trying to bang one of my cousins. I got a lot of them on myrish. No, but do you understand how this is how all the human brain works on all of us. He goes, Colin said, hey, listen, there's going to be a lot of ladies here. No, no. He said, are there going to be any bangable chicks there?

And I go, why don't you take a night off? Yeah, take a night off. You made it that I said. Right. No, you were actually in the wrong. I was answering his question. You were answering the question. And also, I mean mean that's kind of disrespectful

the guy's getting married you don't want to start trying to bang things like you did at my wedding yeah yeah

it's just what is it wild yeah yeah is that what happened I gotta call that girl she still has my

sweatshirt yeah yeah she still has my sweatshirt yeah it's just what do you do What are you gonna do

Yeah Dude that wedding Was so funny While you were In the bathroom You missed Yana said You go to drug stores

It's like cheers I said it's like your cheers I said How many times You had chlamydia Somehow I said You've had chlamydia A bunch of times

Yeah And I said When you walk in a Rite A You just get a nod It's your cheers. It's like your cheers. You sit down at the blood pressure machine, and they just hand you the pills. But what were you saying about his wedding?

You were saying something funny. No, I was saying that his wedding, your wedding was funny because all the comedian egos. I remember we were sitting. I was at Bobby Kelly's's table and he was mad Bobby was mad that I was at his table that there wasn't more desserts because he thought

that Colin was looking at Bobby like you know he's like what is fucking Colin think I'm one of the new guys here he's like you know you got invited and it was like

but he was dead serious breaking it down where I was like where do you want me to sit Bobby I think he just put the comedians I'm like what am I going to sit at Seinfeld's table he's like well why am I

not at Seinfeld's table right it was like so I think he knows he answers that question do I going to sit at Seinfeld's table He's like well why am I not at Seinfeld's table I think he knows the answer to that question Do I have to look at IMDB Yeah Dude that was so funny Seinfeld probably just wouldn't even want him Making eye contact with him

Tell this guy to stop looking at me They have a feud that goes back a long way We all know about the not you Really? I don't know about that Is it public knowledge? Can we talk about it? Of course it is.

What is it? What happened? We don't know. I'll ruin the story, but basically- You don't ruin anything. No, but Bobby should tell you the story because he tells it perfectly. But basically, I'll give you what I remember of it. Bobby, early on, he's sitting at the table when Seinfeld comes in.

This is 20 years ago. And he's like, yeah, you know, I enjoyed the Yankees and the Red Sox or Patriots and whatever. Yeah, I think it was Mets and the Red Sox. So he goes, yeah, I'll bet you a dollar. Jerry's like, okay. So a few weeks later, Bobby goes on the road. Some guy picks him up with a van with all Seinfeld posters

and just cut out almost like a stalker van, all Seinfeld obsessed. So he's with the guy. The guy knows everything about Seinfeld posters and like just cut out like almost like a stalker van, all Seinfeld obsessed. So he's with the guy that knows everything about Seinfeld, driving around. The guy would drive around watching Seinfeld episodes on a TV. Okay, good. So you know the story. Good. So tell me if I do. So yeah.

Yeah. So then he comes back to New York. Jerry's coming off stage. Bobby's in the hallway by the cell. And he goes, hey, I owe you that dollar. Because whoever lost, the Yankees or whatever, Red he goes hey I owe you that dollar Because whoever lost The Yankees or whatever I owe you that dollar And I have a funny story for you

Jerry turns around the stairs and goes If I forget about the dollar Will you not tell me the story He turns around and starts walking up the stairs And then turns back around Bobby's already like humiliated And he turns around and goes I'll be upstairs at the table if you want to talk. And Bobby goes, okay, thanks.

And he goes, not you. Behind Bobby is Jerry's publicist. And Bobby turns around to look at her and just shrugs like. Not you. I've heard so many stories About Jerry Seinfeld Like you know I heard the one where he He walked past Judah And he was like

You still doing that? I mean So I was coming off stage On Gotham He was coming up And he said As I was coming off He said good

He said hey That was really funny And I went to touch him Like hey And then I just I caught myself in the middle And just kind of did like a, yeah. I was like, I remember you don't want anyone touching you or looking you in the eye. Right.

And I just was like, thanks, Jerry. Just kind of scooted away. Were we going to clap him on the back? Yeah, I was going to clap him on the arm. I was going to be like, thanks, Jerry. You know, as I was walking by. And I caught myself mid-end. I remember Bobby was pissed because Colin's mom died very close to when Bobby's stepdad died, and he was

pissed that more stars went to Colin's mom's wake than his dad's funeral. It's fucking crazy! And he was dead serious. He's like, what the fuck? Seinfeld was there? Yeah. At Colin's mom's wake? Hey, first of all, he's in New York, and he's just in Boston. I know, that's what I said. I was like, well, it's a lot of... He's like, yeah, fucking I'm in the Boston guy showed up. Yeah. He was all pissed off.

Ah, Bobby, what are you gonna do? He was like, because he was mad at me. He's like, oh, really nice going to Colin's mom's wake, but you can't respect me. He's like, I fucking implore you at Riotcast. And I was like. You know, at Rachel's wedding, Colin said to me, he was like, you know, because he watched me at some show.

And he was like, you know, I like what you're doing. You know, I like it. And he's like, good stuff. He goes, but you got to get rid of the, you know, like the fucking fuck you to the audience And then I just I just thought about it For the whole wedding

I was like Yeah I gotta You know Yes Colin told me I gotta be more likable You got

I saw it I was like This guy's great Yeah I mean I watched that set And it was not an easy room Yeah But I said

Oh just the anger Yeah The resentment Yeah And you think it doesn't show. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I've been there.

I'm trying to get rid of it. You got to. I got to get rid of it. You got to. It's funny, too, how the guys at Colin's level, they just don't know who has a career. They don't care at all. Oh, it's hilarious. He was like, is he honest?

What, is he open for you? It's like, this guy's got a career for 20 years, but it's like nobody cares. They don't even care about my career. Nobody cares about anybody's career at that level. Either they know you or they don't care. No, it's funny. Yeah, no, it's like nobody cares. They don't even care about my career. Nobody cares about anybody's career at that level. Either they know you or they don't care. No, it's funny. Yeah, no, it's really funny. Yeah.

No, I get it. I understand why they don't. Why would they? Yeah, it's like, who cares? Does Jerry Seinfeld care about? Who cares? No. I mean, I think Jerry Seinfeld might have thought that, like, it might have been my

first time on stage. He doesn't. Yeah. He had no idea. He thought it could have been like a make-a-wish. Yeah. I know, but the point is, it doesn't matter. Your careers don't matter to older guys.

It's like, who's good? So when I'm seeing him, it's not like, hey, this guy should be... I know careers don't mean anything as far as how good you are at stand-up. It's irrelevant what your status is and who's funny.

It's relevant to you guys because you all know each other's acts as well. You actually gave me really good advice when I first moved here. What was it? Because I had been here for like six months and you just came up to me.

I was eating with Liz downstairs and you're like, enough of this Texas energy, whatever you're doing. Just be a person. Start talking to people. Oh yeah, that's right. We've been quiet all the time. Like an idiot. You know what you could do if you want? Texas energy. When you're doing just be a person start talking to people oh yeah that's right we've been quiet all the time

like an idiot you know what you could do if you want Texas energy when you're a legend when you're a legend in comedy you could really fuck with people yeah

you just go up and say something yeah just go hey man you know I saw that you could take their worst bit and be like that's your best bit oh

that's what it is well Colin I got news for you Nate Bargatze's trying to bump you off the Mount Rushmore comedy what? what happened now? Nate said he to bump you off the Mount Rushmore comedy. What? What happened now? Nate said he wants to be on the Mount Rushmore comedy.

I was like, shut up. Why? Because he's just Bargatze. Bargatze tried to give Colin notes in Dublin. I prevented that. That must have been uncomfortable to sit through. I prevented that. Well, he didn't do it.

Yeah, no, I stopped him. I said, you should. He goes, I got a tag for Colin. How do you think I should tell it to him? I was like, don't. I would say don't tell it to him. Right. Was he just... Yeah.

I'm going to tag Nate next time I see him, actually. Yeah, I'm going to tag him with a fucking left hook. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's doing well. Nate's doing good. Nate's doing well. Selling out theaters everywhere.

But we got the Gramercy Theater sold out, but now tickets just reopened, so I don't know what's going on. Probably somebody had to cancel. They got sick. It might have been another glitch. Yeah. Maybe they realized we were lying when we said Burr was going to be there. Yeah. on. Probably somebody had to cancel. It might have been another glitch. Maybe they realized we were lying when we said Burr was going to be there. Yeah.

We're just starting to lie now to market. We're just lying. They released some holds. There's 19 tickets back open. What the fuck? Go get them, I guess. Why do they do that, though? It doesn't make us look good. Because now we look like we can't... We can't go back and say there's 19 more tickets. Let's talk about it later. Don't say anything. Oh, yeah, we can't talk about business on the podcast.

Ben and Tia screwed in. Yeah. Oh. By the way, we have to go. How long have we been doing? An hour and 15 minutes. I got Nick's tickets with my future wife. Yeah.

And we still got business meetings. We still got a business meeting. I can't talk about the business. I'm sorry. You know, we really should have. The moment was when he talked about he was on. That's when we should have ended When what? You know like when a comic's bombing

And he just goes too long Yes You keep trying to get him back I blame Chris for googling Fucking WebMD That was the moment That was the moment Where we've been like

He was this beautiful moment He's on the stretcher He's seeing the light You know The Virgin Mary The Catholic things Is it true? What were you seeing

When you got close? I wasn't that close. I mean, they said you die on the table, but I was asleep, so I missed that part. Did they tell you you died on the table? Yeah, but only for about 30 seconds. So without modern medicine, you would have been a goner, for sure. Absolutely. And I caught it right away.

You were at the gym, you said, right? I just left the gym, and I was like, oh. You know, it was like, I'd been having like these, my throat was burning after working out for like months, but I was so worried about getting sick that I couldn't do my shows that weekend. I was always like, oh, shit, I hope I don't get a strep throat or something, and that would go away. So that's one of the signs.

Really? See, I didn't even know that sign. I didn't know that. What is that sign? Burning after a workout in the throat? Yeah. After exertion? Yeah.

Interesting. I didn't know that at all. What kind of burning? Like heartburn it felt like? Yeah. Yeah. It felt like a heartburn. So you can't even tell.

You thought it was just indigestion probably. Yeah. I thought it was getting some kind of infection that I would not be able to do my show. So then it would go away and I'd be like, oh, I'm fine. It's happening for like Six months Just almost every time And this time it was really

I felt like I Smoked a pack I go to some guy At the gym As I'm living I feel like I smoked My stylist His wife loves Chris

And he goes My old And he goes That doesn't sound good I go yeah And I walked out And I was like Oh I pulled a muscle

In my chest Shit I thought you have a numb arm Yeah It wasn't numb at all Well no normally And he goes, that doesn't sound good. I go, yeah. And I walked downstairs. I was like, oh, I pulled a muscle in my chest. Shit. He said, I thought you have a numb arm. It wasn't numb at all. Well, no, normally they say it feels like an elephant sitting on your chest. It felt like somebody's pushing a fist in my chest. I was like, ah, I pulled a muscle.

Then I started sweating. I was like, oh, no. You knew? Yeah. And then you dialed 911? Yourself? I ran downstairs to the front desk. And I said, would you guys call an ambulance? I ran downstairs to the front desk, and I said,

would you guys call an ambulance? I'm having a heart attack. Really? That come? So long to get there. The whole time I'm in pain. I'm cursing. Look, my building is young. There's a bunch of old ladies that would have kicked me out.

They'd call up over to kick me out. I'm going, motherfucker. Yeah. Motherfucker. Yeah. Cursing like crazy. Yeah. So much pain.

You were like, come on, man. They're like, hey, watch the gender. They fucking, no, no, no, no. He's trying to give us a button to leave. It ain't gonna work. Yeah, fucking, I'm successful too, Nate. Thank you so much for doing this, Kyle. All right, later.

Where can people find your stuff? I think the name of this episode should be, I'm successful too, Nate. All right, see you later. See you later. K-Yo! Hey, yo!