History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 103 - The Crusades Were WILD!

Episode Date: December 15, 2019

 The Cuzzies talk crusades in this episode and all the totally insane and inconceivable dirtbag moves that made up the biggest rivalry to pre-date Yankees vs Red Sox in a race toe beat the clock before Yanni needs the nets!! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ស្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែល What's up, everybody? What's up, patriarchy? We got Chrissy D. We got Yanni P. I'm Mike Mush, Benetia the Goddess. Fight face and scrabble fingers. Yeah, that's Mike emoji. All right, Michael, get some oxygen. Yeah. no you're mike bush you know what dude hear your fucking emoji face no emoji face let me

fucking tell you something first of all talk to me let me talk to you because we've been we've been we've been gone i've been gone for two weeks i was in disney and right before that i got to see the what our crew is like what our crew is like outside the studio and let me tell you something first of all vanity is a dictator yeah vanity sold fucking t-shirts like i mean she was selling it like people she made you fucking buy that t-shirt first of all congratulations thank you to all the hyena fans for selling oh my god thank you so much gotham comedy club thank you um for uh for selling out for me um thank you to the Mazzillis for being classy. We're back. And we're back.

And we're back. Thank you to the Mazzillis. You guys are the best owners in show business. Gotham Comedy Club, the best club in New York City for headlining. It was perfect, beautiful, classy fucking joint. I loved it all good. I loved it so much. You loved it all good.

Yeah. The Hyenas came out. Venetia sold me shirts. Pauly Gansy was there. Yeah, Pauly Gansy was there. The fucking Oreganos. Prince C Pizza was there. Yeah. Yeah.enas came out. Venetia sold me shirts. Paulie Gassi was there. Yeah, Paulie Gassi was there to fucking oregano's. And Princey Pizza was there. Yeah. Yeah.

Whoever. And by the way, I'm being serious right now because I have to deal with it. Whoever got Paulie Gassi's cell phone number from his Instagram and keeps texting him, tickle my Elmo. You got to stop. Wait a second. Somebody keeps. How did that happen?

Because he has his Instagram. He has a cell phone number on his Instagram and he's pissed off. And somebody keeps texting him, tickle my Elmo, and then sending him a picture, an emoji of Elmo with flames behind him. Yeah. Look, Paulie Gassi can hurt you. Paulie Gassi can hurt you?

Stop doing that. And all the toots that are DMing me asking for Paulie's fucking Instagram, it's at Paulie Gassi. Stop messaging me. Yeah, also all the toots that are messaging Chris, stop messaging me. He's turning over a new leaf.

Yeah, I'm turning over a new leaf. Yeah, turn over a new leaf. I'm fucking celibate. That's no gas. It's what's going on. My prostate's swollen. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations about that.

And then you took the baby down to Disney, which let me just say, for a kid that is born in Ridgewood, Queens, vacationing in Florida with his mother? Yeah. That's fancy. That's fancy. I mean, let me tell you something. Were you in Florida? We were in Florida, and we sat JetBlue,'s fancy. That's fancy. I mean, let me tell you something. Were you in Florida? We were in Florida

and we sat JetBlue and then they upgraded us to extra leg room and my mother almost, a tear almost came down. She said, no, no, no. We're going extra leg room on the baby's first trip to Disney?

Yeah. No. Yeah. And then because my daughter, because we went to Atlanta and she sat first class, my daughter was like, these seats are too small.

I was like, Delilah, you're three inches long. So every seat's fucking first class to you. Yeah. So, you know, I was like, i was like delilah you're you're three inches long so every every seat's fucking first class to you yeah so you know i was like i was like stop but i mean we had a good time you had a good time you couldn't really enjoy it though because you have you have prostatitis i prostatitis i have an inflammation of the tate you have an inflammation of your prostate of my prostate that comes from eating spicy foods yeah you got it from eating spicy foods and right i was told by the doctor you just got an infl You just got an inflamed tate.

So I've been having to pee all day, every day, but I'm getting better. And the doctor actually told me, you know what the doctor's advice was? He said, drink a lot of water. Water? Drink a lot of water or water if you go down to Pennsylvania. Can I get a water? Can I get a water or water? Can I have a diet, Q?

And then he also told me to shoot some ropes. He said to fire up the pornhub and start shooting ropes. He said, you got to get the glue out too. He said, anything that moves through the urethra is good to go. It's just exercising the urethra. Clean it out. Yeah, he said clean it out. Now, because you're younger than me.

But I'm celibate though. You're celibate. Understand that. You're younger than me, but your prostate's older than me. My prostate got, let's be honest, my prostate's taken a beating. We know why. We know why. Yeah.

We certainly know why. But it's changed. I've turned over a new leaf. You turned over a new leaf? You turned over a new leaf. You turned over a new leaf, Chrissy. I've turned over a new leaf, and I'm also turning over the right hand. I got a snapping fucking right hand. You do got a snapping right hand.

It comes slow, but it comes strong. It comes strong. And Paulie. You're just not a kid with quick hands. I'm sorry. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news. Yeah. The videos, you do look like you pack a punch because you're a big-butted kid, and you carry a lot of weight in that lunch lady ass.

Yeah. But your hands are a little slow. Well, Paulie Oregano Pills has been teaching me new techniques, okay? So stop texting him, tickle me, Elmo, because I'm the one who's going to get my head knocked off. You're going to get knocked off. Because make no mistake, Paulie's a loose can. He's a little Franks and Beans. Here's how the Russian doll equation works with Paulie Gassi and Chrissy, okay?

You text Paulie Gassi to tickle his Elmo. Okay? Then Paulie Gassi could fucking take your head off. But Chrissy will put your head into mashed potatoes. So what do you want? Do you want mashed potatoes or do you want Paulie Gassi to maul you? It's one or the other. Also, I want to shout out the person who I was

having a lovely day. Two kind people walked up to me. One, I was sitting at a cafe in Disney World. My daughter was just about to get an autograph from Daisy Duck and somebody walking out saw me and my mother. It was really just a Mexican guy who doesn't speak English in there.

Yeah. She was getting an autograph from an undocumented worker. And a couple of guys were walking out of Disney World and somebody yelled Chrissy Precums. So thank you for that. Wow. Yeah. And then also. Our fans got kids.

Yeah. And then the other person, the other young woman who, thank you for coming up to me again in front of my mother and my daughter while we were waiting online to see Frozen to tell me in front of my mother that I made the Dilfs of Disney page. So I appreciate that having to explain to my mother what a Dilf is. Because she was like, I don't understand, honey, what is that? I said, Mom,

it's just a thing that the kids say. She's like, but what is DILFs of Disney? It means dads I would love to flirt with. I said, it means dads

in loving faith. It's a religion thing. I like that. And I thought of it quick because I'm Chrissy White Lies and I can just lie on the fly. So I thought of it immediately. I said,

it's dads in loving faith. It's kind of like a religion thing. She goes, are you serious? I go, yeah. Yeah, you're a liar. I'm CWL Chrissy Whitelife. You lie a lot about things that don't matter. I've caught you in about seven of them.

Well, it's boring otherwise. Yeah, and it's funny because you get defensive and you start snapping back. And it's just funny to watch. Yeah. Because you got caught in your little web of lies, your little manipulator. Well, my maiden, my mother's maiden name is Webb, and I'm Chrissy Webb of lies.

I thought it was Kerner. Kerner. Kerner. Kerner is her, my grandmother's maiden name. So the marriage name, they married into Webb. Yeah. Yeah. And your grandfather has another family.

It's what it is. Your uncle's in jail on that side. That's just what it is. That's just what it it is. Your uncle's in jail on that side. That's just what it is. It's just what it is. Yeah. He's in jail on that side and then his other son works in fucking,

you know, he's a Jets fan from Syosset. I don't fucking know. He messaged me on Facebook asking me about my skits. Yeah. And we want to also

thank the cop today at the gas station that says he listens to hyenas. We got guys who protect the great laws of this country who listen to this podcast. He walked up to us

and said, thank you for your service. But make no mistake. We're hiring a digital marketing firm because we got to market outside of New York a little bit. Yeah, it's just what it is. I just want to just say something quickly about Disney. I had a great time. I was there with my mom and my daughter.

And it was beautiful to see my daughter be happy and have a smile on her face. But the hypocrisy, if you don't think there's a little sinister energy in disney you got another thing coming because make no mistake mickey mouse is a piece of shit okay let me tell you why yeah so first of all you got kids running around everywhere right you can't find a fucking straw in any of the disney property hotels anywhere in that park you cannot find a straw and if you do find one it's paper you got children everywhere that need straws my daughter was spilling her juice all over because they want to protect the fucking turtles okay so you you're serving me spite uh uh high salt high how high fat content food you

can't find anything healthy it's chicken fingers fries fat fucks on on scooters everywhere you go to get my daughter's hair done at the bippity boppity boutique inside the magic kingdom and make it look like cinderella cost me six hundred dollars what to get into the park to get my daughter's hair done at the Bippity Boppity boutique inside the Magic Kingdom and make her look like Cinderella costs me $600. What? To get into the park, to get into the park it's $109. To stay at the hotel it's about $600 a night. So you'll rape the fucking human beings and kill us, but thank God the turtles

are fucking safe in Australia. So the bullshit that Disney puts out and people like, you know, no disrespect to Lynn, I love you, but consumers like that and these other people on their motorized scooters just fall in line and are conditioned for this bullshit it's bullshit what i went on i'm happy to see my daughter having fun i guarantee you if i would have just taken her to german christmas market in berlin which is what i wanted to do

in the first place she would have been just as happy and learned some more things there than at disney just coming back to new y, being fucking cracked out on sugar, cracked out on lines, cracked out on too much of fucking goofy. Go. I should have just taken her back to Deutschland and show her where she came from. Yeah, that's what you should have done. My family never did that. The Disney stuff like that.

They did the other stuff. So I will say that. They went to Greece and you would hide. Yeah. Well, that's the problem is, is like you're actually giving your daughter a childhood, which is like that. They did the other stuff. They went to Greece and you would hide. Yeah, well, the problem is you're actually giving your daughter a childhood, which is like that.

My parents just took me to movies like Jagged Edge and then I couldn't sleep for four years. Yeah. So there's that alternative. Well, you're still protecting her from the harshness of the world

and she's signing fucking autographs with a daffy duck. She has no idea there's an undocumented worker in there. My parents would tell me there's an undocumented worker

in there. So I didn't have there's an undocumented worker in there. So I didn't have a child. You didn't have a child. So I think you're doing the right thing. Yeah, but next – The straw thing is an issue. But next Christmas, make no mistake, next Christmas, I'm taking my daughter to a German Christmas market. It's going to be me and her. We're going to have some daddy-daughter bonding time, and we're going to Germany, and we're going to fucking peruse around a little German Christmas market.

And if you and Mrs. Pappas have a little one by then, then you guys can come too. I'm paying for everybody. And we'll bring Venetia too because she She's going to be my wife. Yeah, she's going to be and she does some sort of business in Greece. Yeah, it's what it is. We're just going to bring her. I'm on a work trip. Yeah, she's on a work trip. Yeah, there it is.

Finally, Zach figured out the other buttons. We recorded so many of them for a while he was just going warden dope. He was crushing it on last episode with the buttons. I mean, Zach's on fire other buttons. We recorded so many of them for a while. He was just going ward and dope. He was crushing it on last episode with the buttons. I mean, Zach's on fire. Zach's been crushing it. Anytime Zach is on the hot seat about to get fired, he just comes in and makes a stay. And then we start to think about firing other people.

Yeah. I'm going to fire you before I fire Zach. Yeah, I'm going to fire you. Yeah. Cuz, let's do an episode where we try to fire each other. Yeah. Zach, can we also get the you know what it is in different languages? I like that, too. Yeah Cuz let's do an episode Where we try to fire each other Yeah Zach Can we also get the

You know what it is In different languages I like that too I do like S-L-O-K-S the best But I also miss the German And the Greek And the Swahili or whatever Yeah the Swahili was nice

Yeah But But Gotham Comedy Club was fantastic Disney World Fantastic I was out of New York City though For too long

And you know like As I am It's like I can't Even though I was with Delilah My daughter fantastic i i was out of new york city though for too long and you know like as a as i am yann it's like i can't even though i was with my daughter and my mother you chrissy you know i was with the two people that i love the most that i wanted my daughters i just want to be near her anyway that's who i always miss i found myself that like it's like i think that in this order the three people that i love the most if i'm not in this i'm crying no our delilah number one yeah new york city number two my mom number three wow i like that though yeah yeah i like that though but i gotta be number four through seven yeah you're four through seven and cuz if you

think where am i in four through seven if you're you're you're four five six and seven yeah yeah if you think that you're gonna be able to close on that house and move out of Bay Ridge, you got another thing coming. Okay. I'm going to light that fucking house on fire. That's up in Westchester. I'm going to light it on fire. Let's just start saying Westchester, by the way, because in the past, you've been a little specific about where I'm moving.

Yeah. Yeah. If you think that I'm going to let you leave Bay Ridge, you got another thing coming. Okay. I'm just going to make it so that you can't leave. Well, I'm going to let the air out of your tires. I'm just going to do something. I want to help you move.

And then I'm staying. Well, what's going on is I'm keeping my apartment in Bay Ridge just to be close to Chris. Because you know what's going to be funny? I can't afford both. You're going to hire movers. You're going to hire movers. And you're going to be unpacking boxes. And then I'm going to pop out of one.

Because I think I'm just going to take Emoji Face and just i'm gonna move him into my apartment yeah what's good unfortunately for emoji face is what's gonna happen is because i'm gonna get angry yeah that you're not around me and you're just gonna tickle them i'm gonna start punching emoji in the stomach you're gonna punch through yeah you're gonna yeah even though i love him i'm just gonna abuse him like i'm just gonna abuse my friend because i'm mad that you're gone. Yeah. What you're going to do is displace anger a little bit is what you're going to do. You know what I mean? Like when you get caught in a lie, you start going all over the place.

I'm just going to move everybody up to fucking Westchester. Why the hell not? Squeak situation. Everybody's fucking coming. Why the fuck not? I'm just going to buy fucking. Listen, I'm doing all right. I'm going to fucking blow it all.

I'm going to buy fucking huge house. It's going to have six bedrooms. Everyone can come. Fucking bathtub guy. Squeak situation. Everybody's coming. Kids. Everybody's coming. Fucking baby's mom. Everybody's coming, kids. Everybody's coming.

Fucking baby's mom. She's coming too. I'll get her out of the house. I'll have a Fanta. We'll get her out. We'll leave a trail of Fanta. By the way, Fanta was really big in Greece before it got big everywhere else. It's basically orange soda. Yeah, everybody's coming. Fanta was started by Coke

to sell soda to Germany during World War II. There you go. Oh, that's a little what we call HHFOD brought to you by Emojiface, who he's supposed to write a new one every episode, and he hasn't written one yet. They have. We just haven't gotten to them. Let's start this episode with Emojiface HHFODs. Oh, for the Crusades?

Just whatever one. Oh, wow. Mike's got one for the Crusades. He's showing you. He's saying, listen, you honest, you fuck face. He's like, listen, guy, I'm waiting for you guys to fucking set me up. You haven't because all you do is talk about how you're going to be in each other's moving box. Why?

Well, Guido de Vigivano was a royal apothecary, basically. You know what apothecary is? Is an apothecary like a pharmacy kind of thing? Exactly. It's a pharmacy. Apothecary. Basically... You know what apothecary is? Is an apothecary like a pharmacy kind of thing? Exactly. It's a pharmacy. Apothecary is a pharmacy. Yeah. They didn't really have doctors.

They just had guys who guessed at shit. And there was just one poisonous plant they would use. Aconite, also called monkshood, that they would use

as a weapon. The muzzle would use on the Christians. And he noticed that slugs were able to eat that plant. And then, so he found out that he could just boil those slugs, make a soup out of them,

and then give that as an antidote. So he did all this research, made himself sick, killed a bunch of animals, and then Philip's Crusade didn't even take off after that. Wow. Wow. And he was Muslim? No, no, no. The Christians found the Muslims initially kind of, so that's like bio terror warfare. Wow. And he was Muslim? No, no, no. Christian found the Muslims initially. So that's like bio-terror warfare.

Yeah. Archaic form of it. Archaic form of it. So he kind of was smart enough to know that the slugs can eat that and created like a. Wow. Interesting. That's a. I think Mikey just came out of the gates on the first emoji face fact of the day.

Swing it. Yeah, because Mike said, listen, Mike's like, listen, I know that Trump's going to get in again, and I got a real chance of getting thrown back over the wall, so I need you guys' support. That's what he said. He said, so let me dig down and work hard, or else I'm going to just be in Juarez before you know it.

Yeah, it's what it is. Now, we got to rate that. What emoji are you giving that? I'm giving that a big, well, the problem is the emoji faces are in my apartment. So I'm going to get them. Yeah, we need those. Yeah, I'm going to get them. I'm just going to lower the placement.

I got prosthetics. Yeah, you got prosthetics. I'll put them on the screen. Yeah, I'm going with a nice big smile for that one because I'm happy that the first one went well and I really enjoyed that fact. I'm going to also go with a smile. Two fucking smileys. I think a smile because... Venetia, what are you doing? A smiley? Are you doing a thinking emoji? Are you doing...

We don't have the emojis. I can't remember them all. We should love it. Yeah. Robot Venetia's coming in hot today. Robot Venetia's... I love Robot Venetia. Can I date Robot Venetia? Does Yaya have a problem with that? Not dope. Okay.

I'm in a relationship with Robot Venetia and we're celibate. Yeah. I agree with that. Yeah. It's funny because the fans can't tell whether that's Robot Venetia or real Venetia. Yeah.

Mrs. Pappas had no idea, right? She thought that Venetia was in the room. Yeah. But it was Robot Venetia. I say Grimmins. Like, it's no idea, right? She thought that Benatia was in the room. But it was Robo-Benatia. I say Grimmins. Like, it's a smile, but like a cheesy smile. Nice. Three upvotes.

Yeah. So I think that's good. Does that vote matter, or is it only for... Well, yeah, it's kind of like it's from an infidel. Yeah. Back votes eggplant. Yeah, always just folks eggplant. So yeah, that's your new segment.

We will have the smiley faces eventually, and Mike will be giving us a fact, an HHFOD based on whatever the episode is on that day. So that was a little crusade effect because we are going to be talking about the fucking crusades. And the crusades were, let me tell you, Bubba, a while. Let's just call it what it is. Like I said, Christians versus Muslims

is the greatest oldest sports rivalry in history, and this was the championship. It was a nine-game series, and the Muslims won eight to one. They won eight to one, but I think when you cross over and get to the other side, I think that the Christians are going to be welcomed as the victors. You think so? I think that the Muslims have an unfair advantage because Allah is the only true God. That's an unfair advantage. That's like having Shaquille O'Neal. The thing is,

even though I'm a celibate kid, in Muslim heaven, you could just bang out, you could bang chicks out. Virgins. You could bang out virgins. That's when you go to Muslim heaven. In Christian heaven, unless I'm going to the gay part of heaven, I'm not going to bang anybody out. You think it was made in the gay part of heaven? I think that all the

blessings that you have rain down from the gay part of heaven. that's what i think it is and it's not i feel like the reason why we've gotten so many patreon but we have a lot of patreon members to read so many people have went to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys is because i think now because we have a true representative of the matriarchy and mr chris poppins up in the gay part of heaven right now helping rain down more members i think that you're going to see a nice turn because I think they were just waiting to welcome a gay to the team up to heaven. And we got our gay. We do.

Yeah, we do got our gay. So it's what it is. Yeah, we did. We did. I think ultimately we have to admit that the Muzzy's definitely. Yeah.

The Christians went up game one. Yeah. So the first crusade, there was nine different crusades. Yeah. And the first seven were really like kind of relevant. The last three, they didn't even make it. They just got killed along the way. Well, one of them, one crusade, I forgot what it was. The Child's Crusade. Well, no, that one, but that one of

them was just Christians went out to crusade and then they just started crusading against each other. I mean, it just turned into a fucking Civil War crusade. They're Franks and Beans. Whoever that group was, was a little Franks and Beans. They were a little Franks and Beans. They also fucking, they also sacked Constantinople. They just were Franks and Beans.

And they changed the name to Istanbul, which is a little black guy. No, they started attacking Constantinople and they were the crusaders. They were a little Franks and Beans. Now, the thing is what the crusades, even though it was very brutal, it brought a lot of, it brought, first of all, hygiene.

Before the Christians went out and crusaded to the Middle East and started – they never had seen any other people that didn't look like them. They just – they were living in France and Germany and England and not leaving their little islands or their little huts. So they looked barbaric. Like they truly looked barbaric with the Middle East. Everybody was clean. They had soaps. They took baths. They ate the right foods.

They had science. So really a lot of things, the Crusades, it was kind of the first kind of movement ever where Europe got like woke. Europe wasn't woke at all before they met the Muslims. Yeah. No way. No, they were with Rome, and then they dipped down when religion dipped up. We've talked about that a lot.

Yeah. Where it's like wherever reason's on the rise, faith is on the decline, and it seems like people do better. Whenever faith's on the rise and reason's on the decline, it doesn't do as good. And this is an era, you know, this is the Dark Ages. This was the medieval times in Europe, and the Arab world was flourishing.

They also had conquered all the way up to Spain a little bit. Yep. So they ran. Yeah, they got up in there. They got up there and they're like, who is this crusaders? Yeah, and Europe got split. Europe was split because of the schism of 1054. Holy Roman Empire was split into the East and West,

and also the Christian church split between the Catholic and the Eastern Russian and Greek Orthodox, what it ended up becoming. So it was Eastern Orthodox and the Catholic split. So Europe was fucking stupid. They were stupid, and everybody in the Crusades, what it was all about was Jerusalem, who was sent on another... was fucking stupid. They were stupid and everybody in the Crusades, what it was all about was Jerusalem,

who was sent on another, who, Jerusalem was basically like, Jerusalem was, it was kind of like New York City, no? I mean, what's the most important city

in the world? New York City. Right? So Jerusalem was a very important city to these groups right now. It was important to the Jewies, it was important to the Muzzies, and it was important to the Chrissies.

It feels like everybody's always trying to get their pauper paws on Jerusalem. Yeah. Because no matter what, if you believe or not, the kid Jesus was a star. The kid Jesus sold tickets. No matter what way you fucking slice it, that kid Jesus sold tickets.

I mean, the kid's selling tickets to all these dances. The only problem is he only sold tickets after his life. Your hair looks hilarious right now. You look like a Dominican grandmother. That's no gas. I just got a little lightheaded. Am I okay? I'm having these shifts in blood pressure.

You're going to go down. As long as your prostate's not swollen, it doesn't matter. I'm a little concerned about these little dips I get in blood pressure. Well, because we're screaming, we're tired. We did four podcasts today. Yeah. Vanity is scary. Deadass.

So it's just like, you know, and we haven't eaten. I mean, Vanity, we got snacks. You ate half a cheese and a fucking orange. Yeah. You know, I mean, you look cute. We did have meatball subs. We had meatball subs. I had eggplant because I don't eat

I don't eat meat anymore No I'm going back to being vegan No yeah No you got to Yeah you got to You got to Really take whatever medicine

The doctor's giving you To make sure that prostate Returns to normal size Yeah We got to get the taint down Yeah you got to get that taint down So What can you do?

What can you do? So you know The Muslims were on the rise And they They swept into Europe all the way up to Spain, you know. And then so what happened was Pope Urban II. Right. Was a kid who was like, you know what? We need to get we need to capture the Holy Land. And it was really, really.

You could say he wanted to. Really, you could say he wanted to – it was a move to kind of secure that border to sort of, from their perspective, kind of push Muslims back a little bit. Well, because the Seljuk Turks – because I know if you said it, you would say the Seljuk dirty Turks because you don't have a good relationship with them. But I would say the Seljuk Turks – I'm just going to do this because Germany, we have no problem with Turks. Yeah, the Greeks – They really weren't – they weren't very kind to you. We've been having a disagreement for a couple of years. The Turks gave the Greeks a lot of boo-boos. They did give them a lot of boo-boos.

They were bad boys. Bad, bad, bad. They took your coffee. Yeah, they took your coffee. That's it. Yeah. Okay, so the Seljuk Turks, they had taken over the Byzantine Empire, which was that Eastern Empire that you were saying, capital of Constantinople, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, Emperor Constantine. And the Byzantine Emperor at the time alexis the first asked pope urban the second for knights to help him fight the turks now the truth is it's like it wasn't who cares like pope urban the second was like it's not my fucking fight guy but he wanted to kind of get more land and unify the christian kingdom so he's like i'll do this let's make the turks the enemy but the truth is the Christians were probably being more motherfuckers than the Turks were. Well, they were definitely more backwards at the time.

Right. You know, it's hard to say, but I mean, like, they definitely fell into the Dark Ages, and everyone was really religious, and that was sort of the consequence of Christianity that Constantine initiated. You know, it went from an age of reason to sort of just an age of faith.

Don't question anything. And the soldiers, the thing is, there were knights. There were like 30,000 Christian knights. Most of which were French kids. They were French kids, but a lot of them were peasants that had no idea how to fight. They were just kids. If this was during the first crusade, we would just

have to put our podcast mics down and go fight. And here's the thing. It's not easy to do with a swollen prostate. If you're doing good and there's people around you that aren't doing good, tribes not doing good, or another civilization not doing good, it's inevitable you're going to get evaded. It's just what's going to happen. That's what it is, right? The poorer kids are just going to attack you. Yeah.

It was like when I was a kid, you know, New York had poorer neighborhoods and good neighborhoods. If you were in a good neighborhood, you knew that you just might get invaded and plucked off and robbed. It's just what happened in New York City. Now, Pope Urban II gave a very famous speech where he said, Du svart, which means God wills it. And what he was saying to the people, to the – because let's be honest. Most of the army were franks and beans. They were poor, like you said, poor kids.

A lot of the apostles, Jesus' apostles, just poor kids. They need a message you know that's why like even the poor people in our community you know they'll think that hillary clinton is saying the right things it's like they just don't know what they're talking about way song xian i'm just kidding around way song xian they'll just so it's just like poor people in general people that they need guidance because they don't like what they see in the mirror even though mirrors weren't invented yet they don't like what they see in the puddles mirrors and the reflections of their puddles. Don't come to our podcast for history

accuracy. I don't think they had mirrors. I don't think they had mirrors. Google, I don't think they had mirrors yet because a lot of these kids, I don't think they were able to see what they look like. So what he said was God wills it. What he was saying, the message that

he said and these people bought it because they weren't educated, nobody could read. There weren't even books at that time in Europe. He said, God wills it, and it means if you go fight for this crusade and you go kill these Muslims, not only will it give you money, but you can bring back to your family, which he knew nobody was making it back alive. Two, he said, so we'll give you money.

And then he said, two, in the afterlife, you're going to get into heaven guaranteed no matter what sin you've committed so people because of that power of religion they went they're like you know what we'll kill these muslims even though they really had no beef with them at all they said if we're going to get into heaven our family's going to get money we'll do it yeah they were marketing baby yeah they were basically doing i think what is a lot of like radical islamists do now yeah say yeah you get versions in the afterlife if you fight for jihad you know because what happened was it was funny like the the west kind of rose first with greece and rome and the arabs were kind of you know a little behind and then europe fell into a dark

asians and the and the dark ages and the arab world kind of rose up and then the arab world kind of got a little too religious and fell to dark ages and then the west kind kind of came back. So it's kind of been a seesaw back and forth. When were mirrors invented, Benetia? It says the earliest was in 1540 BC. So it's right around the time of the Crusades of 1095 AD. Just about 1,000 years, 1,300 years off. 1,500. Give or take 2,500. What can you do? So the first crusade was actually successful by the standards of the West because they did capture control of Jerusalem,

and they had it for a while after that. And so they were able to capture control. And the knights were not good. They weren't being fucking cute at all. They killed Muslims. They burned a whole bunch of Jews alive in a synagogue. I mean, that's not cute. That's bruised.

No, no, no. These were kids. These were about as... These kids were from Ridgewood, no? These kids were as bad as you can get. I mean, these kids... Think about what kind of person you have to be to survive even a walk 3,000 miles, right? Yeah.

And back in the day, there was no roads. It's like they had to get eaten by animals on the road. They were probably killing along the way, raping and pillaging, killing along the way just to survive. So they had to survive all that. They didn't have good shoes. Nobody had new balances back then. Then they marched.

Nobody had orthotics. No, because they marched from the west from like around france over there all the way down to the middle east they walked it and they walked into an area where they were outnumbered like a hundred to one and they just walked out of world so there's just like a fleet of crazy fucking savages and they won so imagine how savage they had to be imagine they had fitbits yeah I mean they just scared everyone Because somehow They brought everyone to their knees

On that first crusade But they were wild Like the way that they fought it though They were just as Chris was saying That they just like went for it Wait is this robot Venetia or real Venetia? I don't know which one it is now either Deadass.

No, but they had, I thought it was interesting, the part... Catapulted fire. Greek fire. Catapulting fire, but also how they would charge at, you know, their enemies, that they would be yelling and just saying nonsense just to scare them.

Just that, in like early human battle, just the Muslims yelling was enough, was a defense. They were like hyenas in a way. Chaos, they caused chaos. The Muslims or the Christians did that? Oh, Christians did that, sorry. And the Muslims were like, what are you doing?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were savages, man. Imagine these guys, they were dressed in those chain fucking hoods. They were knights, basically. And they started to go wild. Didn't they walk around the perimeter of Jerusalem barefoot for like a day and the Muslims were like, what are you doing?

And then they just lit them up with Greek fire? Yeah, someone thought that they had a message from God that they should go around barefoot around Jerusalem and then they should attack, kind of like scout the scene and then go. And they won the battle, like go figure. But they were catapulting

fire what else were they doing they were like throw animal blood at them well and then the christians what i like because innovation is dope i mean well you always say invent um what is it um necessity i don't say the greek fire the greek mr pano says it The Greek fire That they were throwing at The Muslims Had the Greek fire The Christians had the Greek fire The Greece is in the Christian Part of Europe

What's the problem with the stupid German monkey here The Muslims had the Turkish coffee The Europeans had the Greek fire The Muslims had nothing They're stupid people They're fucking shitty people They're stupid people They're not even human

The Turkish people They're not even human They're monkeys So what happened was The Europeans came to fight for Jesus Christ And they go there And they say you stupid people And we crush them

Because we have a Greek genius on our side, baby. It's a character piece. That's right. It's a character piece. Malaka. This has nothing to do with anything, but the Greeks are superior people, and this is how come the Crusades happen and the Europeans beat these fucking monkeys. It's a character piece.

Way too obscene. It's a character piece. That was our friend Mr. Pano. We go to his diner, get Turkish coffee That's just a guy He's got a hot dog I banged her out Yeah he's a Greek guy from the old world He's a little bit upset with the Turks It's just what it is

He stole their coffee that's all it is You know what else got invented here And you have to dead Greek You know what else got invented here Which And you have to dead Greek. You know what else got invented here, which is a cute little weapon? The crossbow. Ooh, the crossbow. Yeah. That's what I do my scully wally.

Yeah. Yeah, so. So the crossbow was invented. Yeah. I mean, they were good. They might have been shitty and dirty and have bad hygiene, but these kids were like stone cold killers. Yeah. The first crusades especially.

So the first crusade was won by the Christians. Yeah. And then the second crusades, things get a little dicey. We only won game one. Yeah. The Muzzies came out like, praise be to Allah. See you later. Yeah.

They kind of pushed everything back. Yeah. But you know what? On that first crusade, we got, I keep saying we. I have to stop saying that. Yeah. Because I'm a Muslim. Yeah.

The Christians got control of Jerusalem. And they also set up crusader kingdoms. Yeah, crusader kingdoms. Yeah, so they had a few weird names. I can't remember the names. Cracker or something. Just a fucking name. Go ahead.

No, I just found it interesting that they're all fighting because what's the purpose of them fighting? It know, they're all fighting because, you know, what's the purpose of them fighting? It's because that they both believe that this is holy land that, you know. I don't know what's going on in Jerusalem. It's still a problem. Everyone wants their hands to get their pauper paws in Jerusalem. Like it's some sort of hot chick.

I've been to Jerusalem. It's a fucking shithole. I don't know what you guys are doing, but Chicago's better. You went to Jerusalem? There we go. When did you go to Jerusalem? Tell us about that guy. My cousin-in-law is from that part of the world.

When did you go there? Guy, I must have been, let me see, Guy. Ninth grade? Ninth grade, that was probably my fourth trip to Disney. Yeah, I mean, no, I was there, much like Veneti, I was there just on important business. On important business. Yeah. I was doing import-export business or something like that.

Yeah. I'm on a work trip. Yeah. I'm on a work trip. It's a great job. Yeah. It's great. Yeah.

No. Robot Veneti is the fifth mic. Yeah. It's hilarious. Yeah. I went. I went. Yeah.

So I've been to Jerusalem. I've been to Tel Aviv. I've been to Haifa. But Jerusalem. What's the cutest place, though? Tel Av I've been in Tel Aviv I've been in Haifa But Jerusalem What's the cutest place though? Tel Aviv man Tel Aviv's a fucking Major city So Jerusalem's poopoo

But Tel Aviv is Jerusalem's like a fucking It's like an old Fucking city man With like You know stones and shit I mean it's It's like

It's almost like you're Going into a museum It's nice for that But as far as like a city You're going like You guys are fighting over this? It's like going to Gettysburg. Yeah, I mean,

it's like, what are you guys doing over here? Well, everybody's celebrating. Like a lot of people go to pray at the wall, which is... Let's not call them everybody. Let's just call them

what they are, fanatics. I mean... Did you go to Jerusalem? Yeah, I have been to Jerusalem. It was... It was beautiful. I went to the Door of the Rock.

That was gorgeous, but they wouldn't allow it. You went there on a business trip? I was there visiting my friend. Marketing. Yeah, we went to go

to visit all around. It was gorgeous. And they wouldn't let you in, you said? They wouldn't let my friend in because he was speaking Hebrew and because of like all the conflict

that's happening they were like, oh, I don't think you should go up to the Dome of the Rock to go visit because of what was happening then. And so he said, no, I'm American. Wait, but you're in Jerusalem.

I thought you could speak Hebrew. Yeah, no. Well, apparently there's like some conflict now with the Dome of the Rock because it's also like Muslims go and pray there. Got it. But also Jewish people think of it as their holy place as well. How far is Jerusalem from the border of Palestine?

It's all very close. It's all close. It's very, very close. Yeah, there's actually parts of Jerusalem that are... You can like go around... Right? Are Palestinian, how does it work? Israel, like for a few hours.

I don't know if that's true. Is Adam... Are you Jewish? You just ask him because he's Jewish? Yeah. But the kid's Frank Sabine's. No, he's not. He's actually fucking...

He's got a lot of followers. He's also fucking... We need to get him on the mic. He's fucking jacked. He's actually fucking, he's got a lot of followers. He's also fucking, we need to get him on the mic. He's fucking jacked. He's also fucking jacked. He's fighting for the Jew army. Yeah. By myself,

I'll take his physically. I mean, Zach's good at the drop. You're not getting fired. Yeah, you're just good at the drop. Because we're about to have a talk, but you're back in.

Mike, get out. Dope. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. Oh, man.

But anyways, the thing with,ircling back to the crusades that muslims uh were there in jerusalem because they knew that uh this is where their prophet uh lived and ascended into heaven is that what it was saying yeah so it's a what i mean you know what what muslims call heaven yeah their their Muslims call heaven? Yeah, their afterlife, the heaven. Yeah, I mean, start. That Muhammad had ascended to heaven. Yeah, just whatever. So both of them had shared thoughts on the land, so they both wanted it.

They couldn't share it. Whatever floats your boat, Toots. Whatever you're doing. What you're basically saying, this is a real reasonable war, this one. I mean, Jesus Christ. It used to be people fought a kid fought over resources or land now they're just fighting over what what they feel like is holy land as if god would pick a spot on the globe and say this is more valuable than other spots people are fucking stupid it's like if god

was going to pick a spot that was going to be the Holy Land, it'd be two words, Yankee Stadium. It would be Yankee Stadium. So it's like, you guys want to... Or fucking Manhattan, New York City. Yeah, it's like, guy, nobody cares. Bayridge, Brooklyn. That's where it would be. That's where the Verrazano is, guy. You missed it. If you're doing a Finding Nemo treasure hunt for where the Holy fucking Land is,

it's between Staten Island and Brooklyn. It's called the Verrazano. I'm going to pass it out. If you want to see the bridge between heaven and hell, just go to the Verrazano Bridge, because Bayridge is heaven, Staten Island's Brooklyn It's called the Verrazano I'm going to pass out If you want to see the bridge Between heaven and hell Just go to the Verrazano Bridge Because Bay Ridge is heaven Staten Island is hell That's what it is Giannis is going down

But we're going to keep going The podcast Keep listening to this episode Because he may go down And we're going to get it on For our Patreon members only Patreon.com Slash Bay Ridge Bar

I need a water I brought you guys cookies Yeah God I need a water Mike's a fucking cute kid Every time Mike gets up Yeah, he has cookies. Yeah. God, I need a water. Mike's a fucking cute kid. Every time Mike gets up, I just go a little puing. Thank you, Mike. Do you need two waters?

I mean, what's going on with you, babe? You all right? You don't have one. You all right, hon? What do you think it is? Did you not eat? I ate, though. No, but it's not that much.

One meal a day is not that much, right? Yeah, you started eating at one. You had two cups of coffee, no water, a meatball sub hero. And a beet salad. And an orange and a beet salad. Yeah, you're a fucking gay guy. Is that enough? That's not enough food.

You had a little beet salad? Okay, so that was the Second Crusade. The Third Crusade, which was known as the King's Crusade, this was kind of a biggie-wiggie because all the kings of Europe combined to go fight one guy in the Muslim faith named Saladin, who was the Sultan of Egypt. And make no mistake, the kid Saladin beat all the kings of Europe. He beat them all back, which is wild,

which is one of the rare examples where the white man doesn't win in history. Wei Zhongxian. Thank you. Woke. Just kidding. No, but it's true Saladin Saladin the Sultan of Egypt no no not the white thing I'm saying he really he beat he was able to beat I mean King Richard the Lionheart of England who's a very famous king they did not win the only thing that happened is because of that war and how bloody and gory it got, Sultan Saladin did allow the Holy Land to be back open to the public, I believe.

Well, that was towards the end. That was the sort of pyrrhic victory. Well, that's the third... No, we're still in the Third Crusade. Oh, so that was... The great... General Saladin was the Muslim, was a general. He was the Sultan of Egypt, but he was a general.

And he defeated the Christian armies and the crusade overall was unsuccessful. But Saladin opened up the land to the public. So it's kind of like a little anyone anyone could go and you can go like yeah it's open to the public now yeah except for venetia's friend who we know why they weren't allowed to go yeah definitely fuck boy status so the way that it happened was pope Urban, they had a little council. Bad things happen at these councils. Yeah, councils are never good.

Anytime Muslims want to have a council, Christians want to have a council, or your doctors want to have a council, you might just want to sit down. Yeah, something bad's about to happen. Something bad's about to happen. You're about to get some bad news at 8 o'clock on a Thursday. So... I mean, you are. Prostatitis. Yeah, it's prostatitis.

Does it make your tate puffy? What does it do to you? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Prostatitis. No, the reason why we're joking is because I got fucking sodomized by the doctor. Yeah, I know. So it was just like, it was just a little bit like I didn't, wasn't expecting that.

And then I just got, he was like, we're going to have to go into your butt. And I was like, uh-oh, Spaghetti-O. Oh, yeah, that's how they find it yeah no but it was wild have you ever gotten it i've never gotten prostatitis i mean it's fucking wild what they got to do to your butt he only got fingers i got a fucking instrument shoved up my fucking ass was it a clarinet what was it yeah no it was a it was a probe was fucking wild. I mean, it was wild. And they took a peek, and they were like, yeah, there's fucking prostatitis. Because I just felt like I've had to pee for like three weeks every time I pee. And they're like, it's because the fucking tate is inflamed. What can you do?

There's nothing you can do. I'm going to be honest with you guys right here on the podcast. The reason why I have prostatitis is I took it in the ass. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Someone asked me recently, how many girls reach out to Chrissy?

How many girls has Chrissy been with in his entire life? Why are you flexing your tits? Why did you just do that? I don't know if I did. Why did you flex your tits individually? Yeah, why did you do that? Why are you doing that? I don't know. Because now you're looking at me go ahead what are you gonna say i'm lightheaded i'm disturbed you're gonna go down and it's just what it is because if you go down just know that i do

no cpr and i and i may or may not do it but i will get on your lips so somebody asked they said how many women's chrissy been and i said he's been with so many that if a guy slipped in there by accident, he wouldn't notice. Right. It's sort of like a raisin in oatmeal. You just might not see it. Yeah. You just might.

It'd just be like, oh, I may just look down and be like, he's got an Adam's apple. What can you do? It just gets overpowered by all the oatmeal. But make no mistake, there was a raisin in there. There was a couple of raisins in there.

By raisin, I mean there's a couple of guys. It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, that's robots, some foreign language. That's Latvian. Wow. Wow, you went old school. Yeah.

All right. I digress. So the Fourth Crusade, the fourth crusade was the interesting one. Cause it was like a civil war. It was Christians fighting Christians instead of Christians fighting the muzzies. So Pope innocent, the third who the kid was not innocent. Um, he want to take back the Holy land.

I mean, every Pope just wants to take back the Holy land. It's like, God, give it up. It's not Holy. Um, the crusaders though, they got sidetracked and greedy cause they're greedy little fucking they're let's make cause make no mistake. If you're going on a crus and greedy because they're greedy little fucking let's make cuz make no mistake if you're going on a crusade you're a greedy little fuck

you want to get your paw per paws on the Holy Land so what happened was is as they were crusading there they just started fighting and killing each other so it kind of like

fizzled out but I will say or Venetia will say well and also all the Crusader states got recaptured

by the Muzzies right the Muzzies recaptured all the kingdoms that crusader states got recaptured by the Muzzis. Right, the Muzzis recaptured them. All the kingdoms that they set up got recaptured. But here's what happened. It ended up, because Constantinople got so weak because of all the fighting, it ended up them being taken over by the Turks and Constantinople was renamed to Istanbul.

And that's interesting because it's kind of like the Turks are Muslims too. So even within the faiths, they were like, yes, it was Christians versus Muslims, but it was certain Christians versus certain Muslims. And there is even one crusade, I forgot which one it was, I read it in my other book, where Christians and Muslims fought against another sect of Muslims. So it's kind of gets like blurred lines. The first one was clearly, we're all Christians, we're all Muslims, but then it starts to get a little dicey right as the crusades go on right so and then the children's crusade in 1212 which now some people are saying it wasn't children it was actually it was the

latin term for boys but whatever i mean it was a bunch of children left tens of thousands of children uh went across the mediterranean to the holy land to crusade and not one of them came back so they were either all killed or sold into slavery. That was an interesting story, like where the kids, what were their names, like Nicholas and Stephen, that they thought, they were German kids, and they thought that they saw God saying to them, you need to get control of the Holy Land.

And they're in France, I think, and so they went all the way, and they said that they walked, they went by boats and they got Yeah, and they thought because of their childish innocence, they thought, oh, you know, that they'd be able to convert a couple, they'd be able to convert Muslims because they're just nice little kids. And it's like, you know what? You just don't have heads.

Yeah, you know what's nice about you kids? You make a nice fucking ornament. So that's what happened. They just got bled out. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Now your glasses are on sideways. You're going to go down. Yeah, I just, I feel lightheaded. I think I'm done. Are you going to, like,

can I just read the Patreon names? Yeah, just read the Patreon names. All right, I'm just going to read the Patreon names. We're having a medical emergency with Giannis, but I'm just going to read the Patreon names quick. Laugh or don't laugh. If you pass out, I know it's a good one. Yeah.

Whoever's the PPW, this one is who makes Giannis' head hit off the fucking table. I think you're just having a little anxiety, if I'm good one. Yeah. Whoever's the PPW, this one is who makes Gianna's head hit off the fucking table. I think you're just having a little anxiety, if I'm being honest with you. I just, I'm fucking tired. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. These people went and joined the matriarchy. There's a hundred of them.

So, honey, hun, just take a sip of water and just relax. I just chugged three. Okay. First up, Haley. Then we got Seth straight to the back and split crack, Primo. Funny. Dante sent a salami to your boy in the army, Spaffadora. He's up there.

Billy Powers. Ian, janitorial manager, collar bluer than my Catholic balls, Anderson. Oh, that's it. He went in. He's up there. Yeah, he's up there. You got that one, baby? Janitorial manager.

Sean Spencer, who's the former... Oh, no, Spicer. Who's the former White House secretary? Sean Spicer? I forgot. He had a moment and now he's gone. Mason Daugherty, Louis non-toot, non-fruit loop, discolored piece, half Greek, pipsqueak.

I mean, that's the winner. He's in there. That's the winner. Pipsqueak, Mikey. I mean, that's the winner. I know I can call it now Pipsqueak Mikey I mean that's the winner I mean I know I can call it now Joe Su I get asked if I'm a muzzy in every bodega Melendez

Clyde Drexler yeah Georgie Porgy put it in pie cracked the girls open and made them say yes that's another goody another goody

yeah Steven Hansen drew the missing link August 24th Rysag but I'm a Jew okay okay he's good

Brock Monette Brian Gray Chrissy cracked me open the missing link august 24th rice sag but i'm a jew okay okay he's good broke brock monette brian gray chrissy cracked me open and tiramisu a new one that's pretty funny yeah 420 um michelle patterson kyle jajor charles pablo johnny a welcome mussolini chose right pellegrino Michelle Patterson, Kyle, Charles Pablo, Johnny A. Welcome. Mussolini chose right. Pellegrino. It's a goodie to Graham Potts, Brendan Beal, Amanda Labella, Olivia, Jorge. No papers being.

I'll sit on your lap for a green Velasquez. He's a goodie. It's a goodie. He's in the finals. Eddie, the introvert that I'll crack Chrissy and ignore the hey, Bert. Okay. He went for it. Reich Marshall, Andrew Schultz.

It's up there. It's a goodie. Hyena here for the content. Good one. Nice. Andrew, I'm Irish, but my last name puts me on the no-fly list, Malik. Tens. Tyler Panel.

Yeah. Samantha Highlands. Alex. John. tens tyler panel yeah samantha highlands alex john brendan the potato monkey waiting for his turn to get cracked in the love sack hilarious good one a very lonely glue gun that's a goodie yeah unique andy father bill is not my father but makes me call him daddy the goodie yeah chuck the cuck jk just a character piece penn dexter that's a goodie, yeah. Chuck the Cuck, JK, Just a Character, Peace, Penn Dexter. That's a goodie. Brian, Make No Mistake, Bay Ridges, All-North Island, Austin, SLOKS. Billy underscore Collins. Good one.

Lachlan, Not Screwed In Yet, But I'll Suck Your Bottom Lip, Johnston. Ten. Another goodie. Cute Leroy Peace. Goodie. Thanks for the casinos, cuz. True Blue Native. Sam Brugeli.

Chrissy Buttslots, Puddles and Nuts in My Guts. That's another goodie. Thanks for the casinos, cuz. True blue native. Sam Brugeli. Chrissy butt slots puddles and nuts in my guts. That's another goodie. Another goodie. You liked that one, Mikey? That cracked my open bat. Michael woke while smoking dope and stroking my pseudo penis. Good. Good.

Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. Jared Yee. Dom. Andrew Becker. Chrissy D's cum stain love sack. Kylie Tanner. Maddie Matriarchy, the Giannis of Gowanus, a.k.a. Chrissy Cracks Whores, non-toot but pick-me-up on West 43rd, loose booty cable guy tux and fucks. These are all really funny.

Giannis is just about to pass out. Yeah, they're all good. Just understand that these are really great. I'm sorry the energy is low, but Giannis is going to go down.. Yeah, they're all good. But just understand that these are really great. I'm sorry the energy's low, but Giannis is going to go down. What do we do? Like two hours with girls gotta eat? I'm just out of gas. Yeah, Giannis is out of gas. I'll go real quick.

Chrissy Clarendon D, Daxton Greiner, George Selas, Zach Buckman, Daniel Few Fumes But Still Cute With A Piece Johan, Adrian Fumeless Ginger Zap, Daniel, few fumes, but still cute with a piece. Johan. Clyde Drexler. Adrian, fumeless ginger zap.

Funny. Ashley Haslett, Julian, local three, but make no mistake. I voted for Hillary. Bad. Arroyo. And Eileen, Franks and beans. 10. Andrew White Walker with a Whitney T and a La Puss Lopez.

Pepin, the squeak king of the Franks and beans. Loves. Timmy T, the cracked open King of the Franks at Beans. Loves. Timmy T the Cracked Open and Cleaned Out Cutie with a Smoothie. Nice. Christopher Eight Inches of Salami but three of them a Four Skin Heath Bar. Stevie Dip It Low Like Robert Moe. Nice. Brian P.

Straight to the back. You Probably Won't Like Me Because I'm From Kentucky But Make No Mistake. I got cut off. You probably won't like me because I'm from Kentucky, but make no mistake. I got cut off. Yeah, you can't make them too long, guys. Yeah. Yes, please. Justin DiPietro. Matteo Giannis Dick Slap Mike Stan Marino.

Joe, I think it's an STD Panzarella. All the Italians are fucked. Jess, parentheses, I got full-blown fumes. Chatty. Rob, pound my Polish bag. Chrissy D, you Nazi beefcake Swaski. John Hernandez. Jacob Logley.

Liam, my life is a constant ladder 14 and good try straight to the back. Yeah. The Polack with the kielbasa that, make no mistake, is in your daughter. Okay, nice one, but don't talk about my kid. Matt, I'm an illegal immigrant, so my glue gun is a little different. Oh, wait. For me, put him in contention. In contention, okay.

Kenny Vago, Sharon O'Shaughnessy, Adam G, Paul Gorman, Donato the Sauce Monkey, Trapped in Rockaway Beach, DiGiacomo, German kid That Looks Like a Sauce Monkey, No Fumes, Dark Pubes. Nice. Chris. Okay. D, a.k.a. Low Key, Cracks Open Muzzies, Vincenzi. Tens. Tens.

Christopher Vlachigiannis. Jesus, how many have we got? Michael Baling. A few more. Yeah. Corey the Blond-Hair, Blue-Eyed Russian Truffle Pig, Kuzentsov. That's a goodie. Chris maloney kevin sanchez danny i may be trans but you can still catch these hands mcglynn put him on for me yeah yeah kenny crotchman christian cuthron hey for the content joey turn me around spank me down and call me 420.

Put him on the list. Nick, not an FF, but I got IBS, Mastro Giannis. I mean, it's close down strong. I mean, you guys are getting so good, it's getting difficult. Just real quick, give us five of them. All right, so there's Danny. I may be trans, but you'll still catch these hands. McGlynn. Okay.

And then try to go all the way to the front. Sorry. Okay. And then... Try to go all the way to the front. Sorry. Okay. He's up there. Then Dante, send a salami to your boy in the Army's buffadora. Ian, janitorial manager. Collar bluer than my Catholic balls, Anderson. Jorge, no papers.

Bean, I'll sit on your lap for a green velasquez. Yeah. Let's see. That's a squirrel. Let's see. That's a scroll. I'm sorry. And a very lonely Lugan. Wait, there's one other one. What was the first one?

There was a big one. Something with a squeak. Yeah, I think he's the winner. That was later on. No, no, no. There was an earlier one with the squeak. Oh, sorry. Louis non-toot, non-fruit loop, discolored piece, half Greek pipsqueak.

Yeah. Is that the one? That's the winner? That was the one that was the best. Okay, sorry. Louie, non-toot, non-fruit loop, discolored piece, half Greek pipsqueak. Yeah. Is that the one? That's the winner? Okay, that's the one. Louie, non-toot, non-fruit loop, discolored piece, half Greek pipsqueak. You're the PPW. Shoot up penis of the week. Our sponsors. Oh, yeah. Our sponsors. You know who they fucking are. You tell us.

Well, first of all, big time shout out to James Altucher. Go see his club stand up New York and to James L. Tucher. Go see him. Go see his club, Stand Up New York. And then Tank Sinatra. Go to at Tank's Good News and at Tank Sinatra on Instagram. I mean, the kid, he also came out to the Gotham shows. Tank, you're just a great guy. And Tank's Good News just puts you in a good mood.

So go see them. Those guys, we really appreciate all your support. And then 9th Street Auto Collision. It's fucking cars. It's on Long Island. It's on 9th Street Auto Collision, it's fucking cars. It's on Long Island. It's on 9th Street. It's in Long Island. It's not on 9th Street. I don't know, man. Just drive your car out on the island.

And then just ask somebody. So we got that. Then we got the other kid, fucking Nutrition Made Fun. Matt Coke, who's probably going to kill us if we ever go to Seattle and use our skin and put it in a fucking beet salad. Then we got Dr. Harvey Spencer, who's got – go to – Very happy smile. Very happy smile and go – he's a dentist.

Not a very happy smile. Healthy, happy smile. Healthy, happy smile. Go to Dr. Harvey Spencer. It's down there in South Carolina. Now I guess he's got – he's a rapper now. So, I mean, people just do whatever smile. Go to Dr. Harvey Spencer. It's down there in South Carolina. Now I guess he's got, he's a rapper now. So I mean,

people just do whatever they fucking want to do. So I guess we'll have to read out his, we'll have to play his rap song, which we're looking forward to,

I guess. If you want to play Moe America. Yeah. So it's like, you know, it's what I need is a guy fucking,

you know, dropping bars while I'm trying to fill a cavity. It's like, pick a lane. You know, so,

but I can't wait to hear it. Lakeside Maple. Lakeside Maple? Lakeside Maple. Go to lakesidemaple.com. Best way to consume it is put it in your ass. Put it in your ass. Put it on a little yogurt.

It's good for the prostate. Lakeside Maple. Dr. Sondre is easy, who does GI stuff but is also a comedian. So it's like you want to get your colon cracked open and cleaned out, go to Dr. Sondre is easy. Does he have an Instagram? What is it? Dr. Soles. Dr. Soles.

D-R-S-O-L-E-S. Correct. Dr. Soles. So go him if you're having a little GI issues. CBD script. CBD script, which if you want to get to another planet because life is just too hard, go to CBD script. I mean, they're on CBDs themselves. They've never really given us real copy.

I don't know if they have a website, what the promo code is. Just Google CBD script and, I guess, put in hyenas, Yanni Longdays, a cock. I mean, just fuck it. It's cbdscript.com, and the promo code is hyenas15. Hyenas15, which is a random 15 that you've got to remember. So, I mean, it's just one word. 15%. Oh, yeah, 15% off, which is like, you know, 15% off. It's like just pay full price.

It's CBD. It's, you know, what can you do? And Lakeside Maple is promo code wild. Lakeside Maple, promo code wild. That's easier. It's four letters. And then is there one I'm missing? I think that's everybody, right?

Yeah. So go check those people out. We really appreciate them having it. You know, it's almost 2020, and things are going to start to get a little different. Yeah. Go to historyanus.com. Go to chrisdcomedy.com.ris yeah yanis papas comedy yeah yeah.com.com i got a lot of shows coming up um so go check them out

especially january it's mikey mikey will be with me at the celebrity theater january 25th um in atlantic city uh spaceland ballroom hamden, Connecticut, January 24th, and then Denver Comedy Works, January 2nd to the 4th. So go check those out. And then also our t-shirts. Well, Giannis, your date, you're going to be at Gotham next February. Yeah, Gotham Comedy Club, February 21st and 2nd, and Uncle Vinny's 28th

and 29th, February. So go to GiannisPappasComedy.com. Yeah, so we have t-shirts at our Teespring store so uh we're gonna have one t-shirt it's only available for the christmas season uh and hanukkah season yeah and the quanta season you want to tell them about it uh yes uh i'm actually really excited that this is going to be limited time um mike is gonna put on his uh online his cuties with smoothie shirt and i'm gonna be we should love it i fucking love it okay and that's why we're going to put it out

but just for the holiday season so go get them I def am going to be the first one I'm getting one too I'm definitely going to get one I buy all the merch I buy my own merch so it's what it is thank you if you guys hear this episode go to iTunes

leave us a review and we'll be at Methodist Hospital. I'm taking Giannis to the ER.