History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 105 - EPISODE 100!

Episode Date: December 22, 2019

IS IT THE ONE HUNDREDTH EPISODE? We don't know CUZ! We thought that it was, but let's be real, we are Franks and Beans babe and got the numbers mixed up. But we thought it was, so enjoy us being visited by Raffael De Luca, reminiscing old times and doing Secret Santa! YASS!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ប្រូវប្រូវប់ប់ប្រូវប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Well, hello out there to the fans of History Hyenas. Guess what? I'm Giannis Pappas. That's Chris DiStefano. That's Rafael DeLuca! He's here! That must mean something. It's the 100th episode. Can you believe it? We've made 100 episodes. Zach is still 24. It's what it is.

He's only 24 years old, cuz. He lied to us to get a job. He started when he was 15. He started when he was 15, and we've added all kinds of fun people since episode one. It used to be just me, Giannis, Jim the Jew, and Bardo Church. Yeah. And then we added- That was before we started making money.

Making money. Now we have, we did, we lost a Jew, and now we gained a Jew back. We have the Jewish kid in the corner. Yeah. Who looks like he's from the mountains of Turkestan. Yeah. He's here. We got Zach.

We got Mikey. We got the great Venetia. And now we have an actual squad. And without them, we would not have been able to make it to a hundo. So I just want to say, first and foremost, thank you to you people. Yeah, and that's just a character piece. You guys do help us, but don't get too big heads. We can do

this without you. Yeah. Giannis was talking about some major shifts. No, no, we're kidding. We're joking. We're joking. It's a character piece. We love everybody. We love our team. We've built a great team here. We have. It's Christmas, my favorite time of year. I wish that Christmas lasted all through January.

Yeah, me too. I don't like the fact that Christmas fucking starts after Thanksgiving and only lasts a couple weeks, and then it's just done, and January's just bleak and dreary. I'm moving to Miami for the fucking winter. If you want it to be Christmas all year round. The Jews get it. You have to move to Deutschland.

Yeah. It's always Christmas in Deutschland. It is always. That you want it to be Christmas all year round. The Jews get it. You have to move to Deutschland. Yeah. It's always Christmas in Deutschland. It is always. We invented Christmas. Yeah. We should have taken the baby to the Christmas gardens. I should have taken the Christmas gardens, but my mom wanted to have a brew in Disneyland. Yeah.

You know, well, it's a real fancy move to come from Ridgewood to Florida. It's what it is. I was like, mom, I want to immerse my daughter in the culture of Bavarian culture, take her to German Christmas markets. And she said, how about Goofy? Yeah. Because my mom is just from a blue collar neighborhood where if you make it to Disney, you're doing all right.

You're doing okay if you make it all the way down to Florida, especially on JetBlue, where all the seats are the same size. All the seats have televisions, Christopher. But did your mom not like JetBlue because all the seats are the same size? And that's a little too socialist for her. A little socialist.

Yeah, well, my mom doesn't know what socialism is. Let's be honest. No, she just goes to the right. She makes jokes on stage and says she went to an Ivy League school. She went to LaGuardia Community mom doesn't know what socialism is. Let's be honest. I make up jokes on stage and say she went to an Ivy League school. She went to LaGuardia Community College. It's what it is. Let's be CC. And then you lied to me and said she got into Columbia, but that's not true either. It's just what it is.

Yeah. When it comes to you, it's a spin the wheel of truth. It's a spin the wheel of truth. Your mind goes, truth or lie? I'm feeling great right now because, make no mistake, for the first time in weeks, my prostate is a normal size. Yeah. I'm just back, baby. You're back, baby.

You're back in a big way. I feel good, and I'm listening to Eckhart Tolle, and I'm getting screwed in. You're getting screwed? You said that the other person listening to Eckhart Tolle is your friend who sleeps on a bench now. So I was excited to tell you, and then you said, uh-oh. Yeah. I said, uh-oh.

I hope I'm not headed for another major crash. Yeah, because Eckhart Tolle has been talking to me about being friendly with the present, and I'm feeling friendly with the present. Guys, you're JFK Jr.'s plane. Your life is JFK Jr.'s plane. It's a nice plane. It's an expensive plane. It's made a lot of successful trips to Nantucket.

Yeah. It's got a hot wife on it. Yeah. You got your own magazine, and you got a great body. And your dad was a president who got his headucket. Yeah. It's got a hot wife on it. Yeah. You got your own magazine and you got a great body. And your dad was a president who got his head blown off. Yeah.

But that plane is destined to get lost into the fog. It's what it is. And it's destined to run into a mountain in New England or wherever the fuck he died. No. And I just don't want you

to take off. I want you to stay in New York. Yeah, you want me to stay in New York. That's what I want, cuz. That's what I waited until the 100th episode to tell you.

Is that I'm JFK's boy. Don't go to Nantucket with the truffle pick. Yeah, no, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. Cuz we have way too much of a good time out here.

We have way too much fun cuz we're fucking untouchable. We're untouchable. Because Andrew Schultz told us we are. Yeah, the only reason why we even made 100 episodes

is because of the fans who went to patreon.com slash baybridgeboys and support us. Now we just have the freedom to say whatever we want. And you got to understand that you guys supporting us helps us support our freedom of speech. And it's why you guys laugh. And what I mean, we get messages every day that people are almost going to are crashing

their cars listening because they're laughing so much. And that's only possible because you've given us a security blanket. All right. I mean, if you want to fucking if you want us to be fucking Cuck City, then go listen to my other podcast, Standing with Chris DiStefano, which is now just run by a lesbian. But they kept the name, but I'm not on it anymore. You guys are basically our Trump's wall. You keep us protected from illegal immigrants.

Yeah, we appreciate it, even though we're surrounded by them right now. Whenever Zach wants to join the podcast, he can. Yeah, because you've got to just. You know what I love? In the 100th episode, I'll just say, Zach is only prepared when you open your mouth. Yeah. When I say, I could say something wild.

Zach's on vacation when I'm talking because he's just used to watching you. Yeah, you said on the last podcast that you were. No, that wasn't you. Jeff said that beating their wife, something about wife beating. Yeah. And there wasn't even a button that was pushed. No, Zach, there wasn't even a button. were, no, that wasn't you. Jeff said that beating, beating their wife, something about wife beating. Yeah. And there wasn't even a button that was pushed. No, exactly. There wasn't even a button.

No, no. He's not, he's not prepared when I'm going because he's so used to you. And we, we've evolved so naturally over a hundred episodes. The way Jean Jean, Bunny, you know who's been with us from the beginning? Who's never dipped off. Jesus. Chris, the teacher went away. He dealt with whatever family situation he's doing.

He dealt with his legal things where he couldn't go on it, but then he made an announcement that he's back. He made an announcement he's back. Yeah. Thalia Volcanos has disappeared. She's gone. She wanted you to crack her open, and then I think her Greek father just found what she was doing,

and now the girl's just locked in an attic, and she's studying engineering. Jen Begakis went on one day with Rafael DeLuca and hasn't been seen since. She hasn't been seen since, so that's not okay. So I think her head's just part of his DJ equipment now. It could be. That's studying engineering. Jen Begakis went on one day with Rafael DeLuca and hasn't been seen since. She hasn't been seen since, so that's not real. I think her head's just part of his DJ equipment now. It could be. That's the truth.

Yeah, that's why he's here. I mean, when he's in person, he looks a little Frank Zabit. And he's got a Frank Zabit's laugh. It's what it is. He's a Frank Zabit's kid who's a hawk. What? You have a good day. It's what it is.

What language is that? That is Sinhala. Oh, wow. I don't even know what it is. What language is that? That is Sinhala. Oh, wow. I don't even know what that is, but it sounds like a good place that I support and whatever I'm supposed to say, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fuck you. Get out of my country. Sorry, whatever we did over there.

I'm just kidding. Yeah, sorry for the bombs. Yeah, whatever that is. But yeah, I was going to say, Jen Begakis, I think she still listens, but who knows? Who knows? Let's just be honest. She's a shady one let's be honest

when the podcast started she was 28 and now it's 100 episodes in and she's 23 no we love Jen Begakis we love Jen Begakis but Raphael DeLuca has been here since

day one day one making songs that get 6 to 10 views and he still pumps them out regardless And he still pumps them out regardless. Tossier. Tossier.

Tossier. He comes with the same enthusiasm, not hit after not hit. It's just what it is. Yeah, but I fucking love every one of those. They're all good. I don't know why the fans aren't loving them. It's the fans like Rafael DeLuca that I mean that keeps us going. Because there's so many podcasts that stop. You don't understand how many of our peers have podcasts that don't even get even close to 100 episodes.

Right. You had seven of them. Yeah, I've had a lot of failures. None of them stopped past 20. No, I got a lot of failures. Shout out to you, Nate Bargatze. It didn't work. It was never going to work.

We're going to call you. And then some of our fans, some of our peers just do podcasts. And there are 300 episodes in it. Nobody cares about the Paul Verzi. Es lo que es. Plain and sip. I hope I'm coming to your Christmas party. Venite, do you want to be my date?

Chris, no. 420 turned into 0.00. Well, it's what it is because here's the thing. I had to make this. If you take 420 and you subtract 420, what do you got for Christmas? If you have 420, here's for the clean clip. Let me get it clean for the clip. Yeah.

If you have 420 and you subtract 420, what do you have? Zero at Paul Verzi's Christmas party. It's what it is. Yeah. I'm going solo. She said bye-bye-bye. She's a good'm going solo. She said bye-bye-bye. She's a good girl for it. She said bye-bye-bye.

Here's what I've noticed about myself and about me. Number one, I've been celibate for close to a month now. Close to a month. Three weeks. Yeah. Right? I mean, I don't know. You're a liar.

Let me think about it. When did I go to Disney? I don't know, but you're in rare form this episode. I'm already tearing up. I'm excited. It's the 100th episode. Mike is still Mexican. Yeah.

No matter what. You can take as many polygassy oregano pills as you want. You're still Mexican. You're still Mexican. Yeah, you still shit sombreros. Because Mike is 100% stone cold Texas born Mexican kid.

And you guys just keep transferring your gray beer heads to each other yeah i'm going down yeah he's gonna collapse again here's what i've learned here's what i've done i've taken a vow of celibacy um like a priest because i said you know what father bill when he got me but the truth is probably when i got when he screwed me in it just it harmed my sexual development I just became an addict yeah so here's what I here's what I've learned about myself now I've learned that the present is all that matters is the now is all that matters you have to learn to become friendly with whatever your present situation is and I thought about my present situation and I

said I have a daughter who I love I have a career that I love I have a daughter who I love. I have a career that I love. I have a life that I love. I don't need to be adding women onto this plate right now because my present right now is friendly and healthy. So I don't need to get anybody else in to mess that up because I was thinking there was some missing link to something was going to make me happy. But it's like, no, no, the happiness is now you're in it. So don't forget about the women.

It's not necessary. And I've gotten to that by being celibate. Now, as far as masturbating, it's been a lot. Yeah. Yeah. I think I gave myself prostatitis because my prostate was like, I got the more glue left, guy. So I'm just going to inflame it and I don't know.

Because, yeah, make no mistake, guy, I've been lighting my belly button up with Spermola. Oh, I'm here for it. It's a slip and slide on my chest. Yeah, because, yeah, that faucet just, it's broken. Yeah. There's no plumber that can shut that off. Yeah, I'm jerking off a lot. I'm putting on True Lies and I'm rewinding the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis dances for Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And there's a little bit of a nip slip about 30 seconds into the scene. I've just been cranking my monkey to that. Yeah, you squeeze your pine cone a lot. I squeeze my pine cone a lot. My parents, the Rubbles, Barney Rubble and Betty Rubble, my dad and stepmom slept over this past weekend and were watching Delilah. And I went, I kept going into the bathroom to take showers, but I was

really cranking it. Yeah. Because I needed to get cranked out. Yeah. Because I'm celibate and the glue's got to go somewhere. But I will tell you, it feels very good and very powerful to just not be around, not falling into, not traps of women. I probably set my own traps too, but just to be the power of no, because I'm very friendly with my present right now.

Yeah, you're in the moment, and there's one Chrissy we're trying to kill. We want to get rid of Chrissy Chlamydia. Chrissy the Nazi? We want to kill that one. You can't kill him. Ray Charles, yeah. Chrissy. Chrissy Chlamydia has been killed.

Shout out Dr. Suen. We want to get rid of Chrissy Chlamydia Has been killed Shout out Dr. Suen We want to get rid of Chrissy Chlamydia And we want to get rid of Remember this one Talk about 100 episodes Here's one lost in the middle There's been so many It's hard for us to keep up

Yeah The amount of Chrissy's There's been We love Crystal Clear Chrissy Crystal Clear Chrissy We love Steel Pipe Chrissy We're here We don't like

Can Collector Chrissy You're a can collector What you want is Can Coll Clear Chrissy. Crystal Clear Chrissy. We love Steel Pipe Chrissy. We're here. We don't like Can Collector Chrissy. You're a can collector. What you want is Can Collector Chrissy. You're an old Chinese man in the back of a ShopRite shoving fucking cans into a machine. Yeah. I'm saying a lot of the fucking things you bang are trash. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Collecting cans. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. I'm not looking for any of my new wives At Banco Popular anymore Yeah I wasn't going more Yeah no

I'm not gonna No I used to fucking I used to go to C-towns And hunt for the cashiers there So I'm not gonna do that anymore That's more what I was talking about Yeah If you were a cashier at C-town in 2018

At anywhere in these five boroughs You got banged out Yeah it's what it is So I'm done with those You're not looking for a classy broad Yeah you're looking for a year at c-town in 2018 and anywhere in these five birds you got banged out yeah it's what it is i mean i'm done with those you're not you're not for a classy broad yeah you're looking for actually no i'm not looking for any broads you're looking for a bit you're looking for a broad like we said we're looking you're looking for a broad who leans a little right yeah who comes from a family that leans a little right because it's just a little easier to be around you can joke around a little

bit more which is wild to say that in 2020. It's just fun. And then somebody who giggles, you know, Trump speeches in the right place. What up? Yeah. Yeah, that's all it is. Yeah. Somebody who's not too much of a problem. Yeah. Plain and simple.

Yeah. It's just what it is, you know? Some girl who owns at least one giant or Yankee apparel situation. Absolutely. One girl who on Sunday who puts on a giant hat. That's all you want. She puts on a giant hat, yeah. And, you know, I want just a girl who her ambition in life is she just wants to get her associate's degree and become a nurse.

That's what I want. That's what you want. You just want a girl who would say, listen, Chrissy, I'm never going to cheat on you. That's not going to happen. I'm a loyal girl. I'm an Italian-Sicilian girl. That's not going to happen. That's not going to happen.

I'm from Syasset. That's not what we do. But if I had to choose one person, Derek Jeter, Derek Jeter. That's my whole path. I just want a girl who's going to put grated cheese on everything for me. That's it. That's what it is. On my cereal, on myeter, Derek Jeter. That's my whole pass. I just want a girl who's going to put grated cheese on everything. That's it. That's what it is. On my cereal, on my toast, on my pasta.

She's going to do whatever. A little bad bull, grated cheese. I just want a girl like that. You just want a girl like that who makes you go to church at least three times a year. Yeah, who might. I want, for the first time, I just want to bring home a girl that my mother likes. That's it. Yeah.

That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just want somebody from the island who happens to be

either Irish or Italian but either way they gotta be Catholic. They gotta be Catholic. You can't bring in any fucking weird shishke Eastern Orthodox that your mother's

gonna think that's voodoo. Those are the ones I wanna bang. Yeah. I know that. But that's the old Chrissy. That's the old Chrissy. If we brought you

I'm going to sex anonymous meetings. And it's not anonymous. I saw some celebs in there. Yeah. There's crystal clear Chrissy going right there. Yeah- I'm going to sex anonymous meetings. And it's not anonymous. I saw some celebs in there. Yeah, there's Crystal Clear Chrissy going right there. Yeah, there's a lot of people got a lot of problems there. Yeah, yeah. But it's nice to know that you're not alone and that sex is an addiction.

That's right. But it won't control me and it doesn't- And I identify as a sex addict, but it does not control me. No, it does not control you, no. But it's also, I mean, my DMs, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard. Look at my DMs. Yeah, that's why you gotta get off the internet. No, I i am that's why i'm gonna honestly man i'm just i'm

not i'm celibate 100 episode and but just understand that if you come over if i invite you over anybody if i invite you over bring a poncho because you may get glued up just because i'm jerking it a lot because my dick doesn't know what's going on it says i thought we were eating every day now yeah and now what's going on you're watching war docs thought we were eating every day now. Yeah. And now what's going on? You're watching war docs. Yeah. And so it is. It is. And also don't get alarmed if I ever invite somebody over.

And, you know, because I love to watch history. If I go peeing during a Nazi doc, it has nothing to do with them. It's just my dick doesn't know what to do. Yeah. You're going to go peeing at the wrong moment because it doesn't know what to do. Yeah. You're you're you're in. My dick has autism right now.

Your dick. You're completely right now. What do they call that? You're in withdrawal. You have a withdrawal symptom. Yeah. You have a withdrawal. You're completely right now. What do they call that? You're in withdrawal. You have a withdrawal symptom. Yeah. You have a withdrawal symptom. You may bang a guy.

Let's make a clip, please, of the moment where I said an oatmeal slips in the, a raisin slips in the oatmeal. I'll put it to you this way. Yeah. Here's what I've been doing because it's the holiday season.

You know, my daughter has an advent calendar. So every day she opens up the little box on the advent calendar and she eats a chocolate. That's what I've been doing with my celibacy.

Every day I don't bang a toot or do something i'm supposed to do i just have a little chocolate i sit down for my advent calendar so it's been great yeah i feel so powerful i actually feel so powerful saying no yeah it's wild it's that's what they that's i mean because the girls are still going crazy yeah and it's gonna get worse i'll come over i'll do this i'll do that and i'll just say i'm not in the right mental health space for you right now. I appreciate your concern. Please listen to History Hyenas. I've been messaging them. People think Vanity is messaging them.

Yeah, that's the way to do it. A couple girls have said, is this Vanity? Yeah, that's the way to do it. Just sign B. Yeah, you just tell them you're no longer collecting cans. You've got a job now. You're a taxpayer now. Yeah, I pay taxes.

You're not collecting cans off the streets and putting them in machines. Chrissy Clan Collector's over. I just said Chrissy Clan Collector. It was a Freudian slip. That was another nickname. Ku Klux Chrissy. We've got to kill him too. You've got to give me that.

Yes. So we're killing Can Collector Chrissy, Chlamydia Chrissy, and Ku Klux Chrissy. Those are the three that have to be killed.'t Collecting Chrissy Chlamydia Chrissy And Kool Clark's Chrissy Those are the three That gotta be killed But Chrissy Steel Pipe Chrissy Turnover New Leaf Chrissy Is a good one

Turnover New Leaf Chrissy Chaos is out of here too Chrissy Chaos We gotta get rid of that guy Yeah Chrissy Which Chrissy's do we like? We like Steel Pipe

We like Steel Pipe We like Crystal Clear We like Truth Serum Chrissy Truth Serum Chrissy Truth Serum Chrissy's a good one What about CWA Chrissy White Lies? Chrissy White Lies we like We like because he's funny He's funny

What was another one A lot of General Sherman Chrissy General Sherman Where you just burn a hole Through the comedy community Yeah yeah yeah That's a good one

That's a good one Yeah Spin the Wheel Spin the Wheel Chrissy is Spin the Wheel Chrissy's good You know we need him Yeah But

That's what we call Sexually No sexually spin the wheels anymore Yeah well I've done that enough Yeah you do that enough But you also spin the wheels with lies too. It's like somebody asks you a question and your mind just goes brrrr and then it lands

on lie. It's what it is. It's what it is. It's whatever the most fun response is. Apparently that's what Jeff Dye does too because he said he was selling out and he's not. Yeah, it's what it is. I saw him at Gotham. It was half full.

What can you do? And I forgot my line. My club in San Antonio, it was half full. What can you do? And I forgot my life. My club in San Antonio, it was half full. Yeah. No, we're just kidding. We love Jeff Dye. We're all selling out. We're all Asian.

It's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah, we're just a couple of Asian kids. It's character piece. And I think what's happened recently is I think Vanity has had a couple of friends that started listening to the podcast and told me they have a couple of concerns. And she's really trying to tighten the diversity rope up. No, yeah.

I appreciate it. She wouldn't let us do Jackie Robinson with Jeff Dye. Yeah, she wouldn't. Yeah, because she's like, white guys can't be talking about that. She said you can only talk about that with a maverick. You said that too. Yeah, no, we both did. I know, I'm just making contact.

Yeah, we're just joking around. We're just joking around. Oh, I'm here for it. Yeah, there we go. Here for it. I brought Yaya's cookies. Yeah, that's my favorite drop. It's funny.

Yeah. Yeah. So we've made it 100 episodes we've gone such a journey patreon.com slash bayridge boys let's be honest

we we serve those guys absolutely and girls yes we serve them nobody I'm telling you

and I'm not just saying this because I'm a part of this podcast I've looked nobody gives as much content on patreon as us not one Mike do you even

you agree on that? I agree. We give by far the most Patreon content, so we appreciate you guys telling your fans and keep coming back every month because that's why we're doing it for you. Yeah, and eventually, like, look, we may just stop the podcast

and only do it for Patreon members. So, I mean, that's a lie, but, you know. We could, but we could do that. We'll see, whatever. Yeah, because... That's a threat. I'm just trying to threaten people to get over to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We may do that.

Listen, guys. If you love this show, we're able to make this show. And we do this show because of Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. And we give you stuff for it. But we just want to thank you on our 100th episode for being our backbone. I mean, we're paying people now. We're up and running. being our backbone.

I mean, we're paying people now. We're up and running. We started with just, with Jim Serpico and Bardo Church, and then we fired them. Yeah, because they didn't believe in us. They're like, no, they're like, no. Yeah, we can say that.

They're not listening anymore. They're not listening anymore, so we didn't fire them, but yeah, you know, we started with... That's a Jim crying. We appreciate you got the initial help. I mean, Barta would just sit here and fall asleep in the corner. Yeah. And, you know, Jim was, you know, Jim had Jared Freed.

So it's what it is. And you know who else? That's how you met me. That's how you met Mike. I fell asleep in the corner. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He was sleeping on the first day.

He would always sleep. And that wasn't because he was born to a divorce. I think his blood sugar was low. Yeah. He needed a Slurpee. We got too many people that passed out on the podcast. Me too. You and Mike.

You know, people should start taking bets when they listen to our podcast. Who's going down? Me or Mike? Yeah. Mine's going to be more emotionally related. His is definitely going to be physically related. Yeah, it's just what it is. But both of yous are going down.

We're both going down. Yeah. Yeah, like how's he going to be my net laid down if he's down? Yeah. He'll be down there already. He'll be down there already. He'll be down there already. Yeah, nice little how's he going to be my net laid down if he's down? Yeah. Down there already. He'll be down there already. He'll be down there already. Yeah, nice little cushion to lay on.

Mike's a good comic. Mike's a good comic. And Mike's going to be able to pick up the pace, though. Es lo que es. Chrissy's out to play today. Chrissy's here. Yeah. We got Chrissy. I'm kidding. Truth syrup Chrissy's out to play today. Chrissy's here. Yeah. We got Chrissy.

I'm kidding. Truth serum Chrissy. Yeah. I mean, right now it's a manic pace of Chrissy's coming at you. I just feel I'm good. I'm friendly with my present. Definitely a fact point. Yeah.

I mean, he's got... Yeah, Mikey's got it. Mikey's got it. He's a kid from Houston. He's got a Texas style. No, he's got, yeah, Mikey's got it. Mikey's got it. He's a kid from Houston. He's got a Texas style. No, he's from San Antonio. Same shit! I don't give a fuck about your whole state at all.

When I go on the road, I don't remember it. I don't care. I just want to get big in New York like Bob Marley is in New England. Yeah! That's it. I'm just going to become Maurice and just do shows in fucking New York. It doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter.

It doesn't matter. I'm able to make a decent living in New York because I'm able to invest properly because I just fucking paid attention a little bit. That's it. It's like, yeah, I'm not getting a Bentley. That's it. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know who I'm attacking, but it felt like somebody. Yeah, somebody. Somebody. I felt like I was going to, I don't know. I'm telling you what my present. No. You know who's been here from the beginning, who I was getting to? First of all, we added Mike.

We went to another level. Mike's good. And our goal, we'll make no mistake. What is that noise? That's a Santa con probably. Yeah, probably. Our goal is to wrestle Mike away from everything else. Yeah.

That's just what our goal is. It's like, yeah, nobody treats Mike with the respect he deserves but us. I mean, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Because we love him. We appreciate Mike. And so we're prepared to wrestle him away from the other people in 2020. Yeah, and if we have to do it physically, then we'll take his physical.

Then we'll do it physically. That's the good news, at least in New York City. In New York City, besides Luis Gomez and Gas Digital, who's a tyrant, we can beat up every podcast, so we could just have free reign. Yeah, that's just what we're going to do Yeah. Which is what we're going to do. Which is what we're going to do. And we added Venetia. And what a great addition to the team that was.

Adding the third woman besides me and you was the key to success. It was the key to success. Because now it's just three women at the head of this thing. That's right. Yeah. This is girls got to eat. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. This is GGE. So once Venetia came in. Yeah. And it was great. Yeah. Yeah. This is GGE. So once Venetia came in, and it was great. Yeah. Once Venetia came in, everything started to stay on track. The organization, the things that we lacked. I mean, we can't even get a Secret Santa right.

Right. And Venetia was able to say, here's what we're missing, here's what we need, and has improved the podcast dramatically. Woke. And she's done great, and we're happy to have her. Yeah, and she's been doing fantastic. We're going to have to ask you to start pumping out some more clips. Dope. Dope. Yeah, truth serum Chrissy is just here.

Yeah. Yeah, and Zach. And that's what I want to say. Zach's been with us since day fucking one, and he hasn't missed any episodes. I wouldn't have even noticed. He only missed one. It was a birthday episode, and I don't missed any episodes i wouldn't have even noticed he only missed one was a birthday episode and i don't even remember that and zach the thing the most impressive thing about zach is we've done 100 episodes and out of 100 100 episodes 100 times zach has been sitting

firmly in the hot seat yeah and has made it through every single time i mean the kid wins game seven every single time he does because i, every time we've been walking the stairs, we're like, he's out of here. And then he just comes back and says, I'm sorry I didn't upload Lisbon. Whatever the fuck you're talking about. No, the jihad, it's ironic that he's a Muslim kid because the jihad on Zach on Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys is for real. Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's a hunting party. They're going to show up here with tiki torches for him.

Yeah. They're going to demand his head at some point. Yeah, at some point. And we're going to give it to him if we get to 2,000 patrons. That'll be our $2,000. Yeah. We just came up with our $2,000 level prize for you. Yeah.

When we get to 2,000 patrons, we will deliver Zach for you. Do whatever you want with him. I'll decapitate him live on the Patreon. That's what we'll do. I'll go on Lens. We'll do that for $2,000. We are going to be adding a level, too. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.

Go get it. Oh, yeah, we are going to be adding a level. What is it again? Yeah, Venetia, you want to tell them? Oh, we can't speak about it yet? Michael, can we talk about it yet or no? Yeah, we should. Go ahead, Mike.

Tell the people. So what was the dollar amount? We're going $50. $50, we're going to start doing live streams. We're going to do one live stream episode a month with the dollar members and up. And it's going to be a 20-minute episode, correct? Yeah, it's 20 to 30.

Can we also do, what about, because I know a lot of people do this on Patreon.com, like a lot of girls will do nude cams. Can I start doing a nude cam on Patreon for a level? Absolutely not. No, but it's legal. Absolutely not. Mike, are we legally allowed to do that?

Yeah, but we're not going to do that, Chris. You need to do different things each time. I can't just open up my asshole a little bit? No, for a smart kid, you've got some big blind spots. It's what it is. You've got some blind spots. We talked about it. You're a really bright, screwed-in kid, and then you've just got a huge blind spot.

Maybe just for $1,000 a month, I'll shave my pubes up there. No. No. For $1,000 a month, I'll shave my pubes up there. No. Yeah. For $1,000 a month. Yeah, you should do that. Yeah. Let's see who would join. I know some of our fucking freak fans would join.

No, yeah, no. We cannot take a close-up at all. But what Mike is telling you is that the $50 level, it's a live. We're going to go live with you. You always hold the mic like a ciggy. I do. It's funny. Yeah. Because you don't smoke, Mrs. Pop. No to go live with you. You always hold the mic like a ciggy. I do. It's funny. Yeah. Because you don't smoke, Mrs. Pappas. No, I do not smoke

and yeah, I got in trouble for that fucking cackle by the way. Because it was the context. She kind of knew what you were talking about. Mrs. Pappas, I love your cookies. Please bake more. Yeah. I have not had a ciggy. Yeah, you haven't had a ciggy. I haven't had a ciggy. But what he's talking about is we're going live. We're going to be going live with you

and it's going to be interactive. It's like a private moment with me and Chris Where we talk to you personally So once a month we're adding that level And of course you get everything This is really an episode to celebrate us And to celebrate our fans Yeah, no, that's what it is That's why Rafael DeLuca is in here right now

Now, Rafael, you have a new song? Yeah, another non-hit. Come to the mic. Yeah, another non-hit. Another non-hit. Hopefully going to crack double the views with it. Yeah, we'll see. Okay.

Well, you know what's funny? Yeah, my mic just went out. Yeah, Raph, and what's really good for audio is moving chairs. Hold on. The mics are out. The mics are out. Mine's still working. Mine's not.

I'm out. Oh, the mics are out. This is what you get 800 pounds A lot of the mics are off You're talking to this one Oh yeah This one

Is it back on Check one two Yeah it's back Who's back on As soon as Rafael De Luca Moved in We're good We're good

I fucked that up No it's absolutely Rafael De Luca Has come to everything We've done He came to our podcast Live podcast He's come to

He came to my special tape He comes to your shows We just want to say Thank you Rafael De Luca Thank you so much For being our like He came to our podcast, live podcast. He came to my special tape. He comes to your shows. We just want to say thank you to Rafael DeLuca for being our, like, and he's not a strange kid. He's a normal kid. He's a normal kid. He's a normal kid.

That's why I said it was okay to come up. Rafael DeLuca's welcome. He's been thoroughly vetted. We've been doing this for two years. I don't feel weird around Rafael DeLuca. He's a normal fucking kid. He's a normal fucking kid. Chris the teacher, stop DMing me. Well, yeah. Yeah. Rafael, a normal fucking kid. He's a normal fucking kid. Chris the teacher, stop DMing me. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Rafael is a normal. I'm just kidding. I like Chris the teacher. And he went to Harvard just like my mom did. Yeah. Just like your mom got a chance to go to Columbia. Yeah.

And that didn't happen either. She went to LaGuardia Community College. It's what it is. It's what it is. I may be even adopted. I don't know. Don't know. And we don't know because we don't know what you do.

I'm going to take a bite out of Mike's ass like it's a poison apple. Yeah. Yeah. And we're also set that we're going to start bringing in a wig, and we're just going to force Mike to wear wigs on random episodes. The thing is with Mike is I'm going to start showing up to events as my plus one with Mike in the wig. Oh, man, free on our nerves. And we're just going to say, this is my girlfriend, Mike. And then just start looking at people.

I'm going to wear so many pantsuits. This is what it is. If you showed up to Versi's Christmas party with Mike in a wig. This is my girlfriend, Mike. Yeah. And then I'm just going to feed her popcorn throughout the night.

I think we got to make that a clip. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Raphael went to Harvard. He can't figure out the mic. Yeah. And I'm a DJ.

Yeah. It's a DJ Alright, so you got a new song What's the new song? The new song is called Mashed Potatoes Figured it's the most current theme But again, like It's my pleasure to

You know, help you guys out And be a part of this And you know You give me so much entertainment I remember I was originally on episode 9 Which was 91 episodes ago Holy shit

April 2018 Yeah, I remember when you came And I was listening to it on the way here Like, you know Just reminiscing a little bit. And I think I said the same thing. I'm just happy to do the songs, whether they get popular or not, just because you provide us so much entertainment and

just helping out with a bad day or killing a bored time or whatever. It's my pleasure and you guys are the best. Thank you, Raphael. Raphael, absolutely. I will kiss you on the lips right now. You're going to get punched. i'm a horny kid yeah yeah like a celibate kid i'm filled with glue your dick doesn't know what's going on yeah it's like do we because that was just a nice moment we locked eyes on my dick's like are we going yeah what's going on it doesn't

know all right listen can we play the song i'd like to play mashed potatoes for the first time i haven't heard it can we play mike the song's good i like to play Mashed Potatoes for the first time. I haven't heard it. Can we play it, Mike? The song's good. I mean, it's- Do we have the technology in this fucking studio? Yeah. With the launch equipment? Yeah, we got Truth Serum Christie's present. What the fuck is going on here? Yeah.

You guys got a new studio, get a whole thing, and you come out with these fucking tables. Yeah, I like these tables you got on fucking Wayfair. Yeah, I mean, what the fuck? The fuck, dude? I mean, you got $15 million downstairs. Yeah. At least get them from fucking West Elm. Yeah, bought them at a fucking garage sale.

Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, let's listen. I'm going to take my dick into mashed potatoes. A couple hours a day, and you're a big-butted kid who needs a bite. I don't give a fuck. You don't come to your house and smash your face in your mother's mashed potatoes. Your face is going into mashed potatoes. Dude, don't be a...

What it is? Yeah. Yeah. Your face is going into the mashed potatoes. Dude, don't be a... What it is? Yeah. My 14. Just listen. If you don't, everyone's face is going straight to the mashed potatoes. Yeah. I'm going to order mashed potatoes for the whole audience, and I'm just going to start putting people's faces in it if they don't laugh.

Everybody's going into mashed potatoes. Yeah. If you... Listen to me. If you come to our live shows or Aminah Yonatan's live shows and you order mashed potatoes, just send us a picture of it, and I'll come over and I'll put your face. Say it to my face and guess who your face is going to go? Mashed potatoes.

Mashed potatoes. If you put Mike's face in mashed potatoes, he's just going to start eating it. Yeah. Let's just go back to the Nazis. I love that going back to the Nazis is a safe respect. We're going wild right now. Because we go wild every episode. That's what we do.

Yeah. That's what it is Don't cackle it Because it's true I love that Wow Ten out of ten Yeah Ten out of ten

I just got one question Yeah Are we getting too comfortable With the F word Yeah I was a little skeptical Yeah Venetia just said

Character piece Yeah Should we cackle it Just about that cackle But other than that I'd say When we cackle those words We just put Over the cackle, we just put rainbow flags.

That's what we do. We'll do that, yeah. Yeah, it's perfect. There's a big blowback on that word. We can't say it. No, but there's a big blowback on people wanting to keep that word because that word is such a good word. Can't say it.

And it doesn't even mean that anymore. It doesn't mean that. It just doesn't mean that. Fin, it just doesn't mean that. Vanity is indifferent about it. You know? Yeah. Not dope. People are not going to give up that word.

Can we conjugate it and call it... Alive? Okay, because we made a t-shirt on the last episode. I guess you have to cancel that order, Mike. Vanity said no. But, I mean, we're two kids who love gay. I don't even think the gay guys I'm friends with or the gay guys I'm friends with. The truth is, I'm not going to tell you.

I cannot look you in the eye right now. Cackle all this. I can't look you in the eye right now and tell you that I'm not gay. So how can you tell me I can't say the word when I'm, whatever fucking day of the week it is, sometimes I'm real gay, sometimes I'm not. Yeah. What's going on now? Just a quick question.

I'm going to head out. Okay. I'll see you. Yeah. Take your shirt off. Are you ripped or no? We're just, we're pausing in the middle of an episode. Yeah, but it's just what it is.

The Luke. That is the history behind it. That was a great song. Yeah. Thank you. That one's going to get a few views. Good to see you, brother. We love Rafael DeLuca.

We love all our fans. Shout out to Rafael DeLuca, yeah. Go check his DJ workout. At Rafael DeLuca? At Rafael DeLuca and then at History Hyena's music. At History Hyena's music and at Rafael DeLuca. Thank you, brother. Absolutely.

Merry Christmas. Happy holidays, brother. Happy holidays, brother. The thing about Rafael, Rafael's a successful kid with his own life, and he just does this for fun because he loves it so much. All our fans are real good kids. There's a lot of good kids. We got Tim the Toot, who's still around.

Yeah. He's a good kid. And of course, we got the matriarchy, the head of the matriarchy who came to both shows in New York City. She fucking flew here. Lisa Johnson. Lisa Johnson, who's going to be your wife now that you're off the toots. It's what it is.

Yeah. Should we call Lisa now? Is now the time? Let's call Lisa. Let's give Lisa Johnson a call just to check in. And Lisa, is Lisa ready? Did you say Vanitya? Okay, give Lisa a heads up.

Once we get the okay that Lisa's ready to be spoken to, we're going to speak to her. You guys are the best fans. Your names that we read every week, they're so funny. I listened to an episode the other night just for giggles. I rarely listen to our stuff,

but I listened to an episode and it was just so funny. The names are so funny. I thought you listened to all the episodes. I'm doing a character piece. Oh, okay. Yeah.

It's a character piece. Yeah. I'm doing a character piece. I want Tortellini. Yeah. Tortellini. Do you want to read some throwbacks? Excuse my voice. I like your voice like that. Yeah. I'm doing a character piece. I want Tortellini. Yeah. Tortellini. Do you want to read some throwbacks?

Excuse my voice. I like your voice like that. Yeah. I'm at the point where I don't know what's real Venetia or what's robot Venetia. Well, now real Venetia's got a little scratchy voice, but we gave her a horse. We gave her a horse? Yeah. Yeah.

See, that could have been either one. Robot Venetia. Yeah. A little more easier to control, too. Yeah. Yeah. Rescue voice Vanity is a nightmare. Yeah.

OK, here we go. The PPW of the week from last. This is last week. Throw. These are throwbacks. I love it. So last week's, by the way, was hysterical. What a crew.

You conscious? I was conscious. Yeah. I was half in, half out. Yeah was hysterical. What a crew. Were you conscious? I was conscious. I was half in, half out. Yeah. Like my sexuality. Yeah. So here's some throwbacks just to tickle your balls a little bit. Ladies also.

Adam, spin my wheel, punch my bag, and smell my fumes. Yeah. Ten. Now, you want another know the one from last week that was, I think, my favorite of all time? Because it's kind of like, it's my favorite, but it's not, it's unique. And it hits you like, it's like a curveball. You don't see it coming? Yeah.

Was, what does he say? I'm an illegal immigrant, so my glue gun's a little different. That guy, do you remember that guy? No. Can you look up that name? Yeah. I mean, I'm butchering it, but when I heard it on last episode,

it cracked me up endlessly. So, I mean, that's a good one. I mean, that's a fucking good one. Let's see some more. So that's some more. So Adam Spin My Wheel, Punch My Bag, and Smell My Fumes is a Hall of Famer. Hall of Famer.

But you know what's interesting is he is absolutely a Hall of Famer. 1,000. Hall of Famer. But you know what's interesting is he is absolutely a Hall of Famer. 1,000% Hall of Famer. But since time has went on, we've gotten what like that wouldn't even make, that would make like the final five now because of how crazy they've gotten. And that's a Hall of Famer. You're a good point. He's kind of like, he would be like, what's his name on the Celtics?

He's like Bob Cousy. Bob Cousy. He was playing in an era before they integrated. Yeah, you respect him, but yeah. But now we got a lot of black kids. That's low-key. Was it Louis non-fruit loop discolored piece half Greek pipsqueak? No, that's a good one too. But no, it was literally like

I'm an illegal alien or I'm a white walker, so my piece is a little so my glue gun's a little different. Yeah. So you just got to find that. Venetian, your phone keeps turning off, Ben. Yeah, it just keeps turning off. Okay, the next one, of course, is this guy is a Hall of Famer.

He was the first one there. You make a good point because now they've gotten real good. Like last week's list was like, holy shit, are these guys taking steroids now? Yeah, they're on the juice. Yeah, because this guy's stone cold FF Steve Austin. Yeah. Ten. Ten. Yeah, that's a classic. Yeah. Is he still around?

Probably. Okay, then this guy is, he might be the king of all time. He is Chris Uvula is a backboard. Chris's Uvula is a backboard. My dick is Tim Duncan. Yeah, ten. Ten. He might be number one. Yeah, yeah. See, that's something that's timeless.

That's like Will Chamberlain. Yeah, it's like Will Chamberlain. It's just timeless. It's timeless. He can work in any era. Yeah, yeah. Okay, now this guy was Marcus, half-Recon, American, captain of the fume room, Rutherford.

Yeah, fume room is funny. Yeah, he's a good one. Oh, this guy's another curveball. Yeah. And he may be the best. Jimmy Petz, Pozzola, got Dolphins half price cuts. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. Matt, I'm an illegal immigrant, so my glue gun is a little different. Yeah. Matt, I'm an illegal immigrant, so my glue gun's a little different. Did he even win PPW? No, he didn't. Why? Yeah.

But he's a good one. Yeah. Because I heard him. He's like Jennifer Hudson. He lost American Idol, but he's a big celeb. Perfect fucking analogy. That's Jennifer Hudson. Yeah. Okay, here's another. I want to sing like Jennifer Hudson. Yeah lost American Idol, but he's a big celeb. Perfect fucking analogy. Yeah. That's Jennifer Hudson. Yeah.

Okay, here's another. I want to sing like Jennifer Hudson. Yeah, you can't. I want to be a fat black woman. I know you do. Well, she's skinny mini now, but. Yeah. She's never big, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, here's another one. I got to get in shape. Krista Legal Toot takes it past the Uvula Marie. Yeah. That's an old school classic. That's an old school one.

And she's also at the show. She sat with Lisa Marie Johnson. She was front row at the Gramercy Theater. Remember when they all walked front row at the stand and the Gramercy? She's a big fan. Big fan. So thank you so much, Krista Uvula Marie. Takes it past the Uvula Marie.

Then we got Johnny's dad says I'm half a finook cock. Yeah. Yeah. I guess Johnny's dad called him'm half a Finook cock. Yeah. Yeah. I guess Johnny's dad called him a half a Finook at some point. Which is a Finook is a funny word. Finook can start saying Finook. Can we say Finook? No.

Infinity is just on the side of wellness. Do you want to explain what these names are again? Those are the PPWs of the week. So guys. The pseudo penises of the week. Right. Now why do we call them pseudo penises? Because we are the history hyenas.

Hyenas, they are a matriarchal society, and the women have penises. They're pseudo-penises. They're not real, but they are penises nonetheless. Have we ever told our little babies how we even came up with the idea to start this? Because I feel like we've been interviewed on other podcasts about how it is, but we've never talked about it to our little hyena babies about how this all came to be. Why don't you tell them, Chris? Okay, so

I moved to Bay Ridge with the situation and my baby and in 2015 It just looked like you were having a flashback. Yeah, I'm just going back to the NOM days. Yeah, you just went back to the days

where you were inside the situation. Yeah, I was inside the situation, and it was wild in there. Now you can see the situation from the outside. Yeah, now I can see. And then Giannis had already been living there, and we had kept saying, we're going to hang out, we're going to hang out, but we never did. Why did you keep showing up in the neighborhoods I was living in?

You've showed up close to where I'm living in. Yeah. I was living in Park Slope. I'm from Park Slope. Next thing you know, you're around the corner from me. I genuinely lived around the corner from you. Around the corner. And that was when we first kind of knew each other.

Yeah. And, well, we met before, but that's when we first started hanging out. And then we did the bracket together. We took the train every day together. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like you've been setting up your life to be next to me. Next to you, yeah. When we did that bracket show, they said, because I got it first.

They're like, who do you want to coast with? And I said, Giannis. And they said, is it the fat Mexican kid who does marisa? I said, yeah. Yeah, yeah. When we did that bracket show, they said, because I got it first. They're like, who do you want to host with? And I said, Giannis. And they said, is it the fat Mexican kid who does Marisa? I said, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, one time we were on the train, and the bracket was a local show in New York City. I was sitting on the train at some construction where it goes, yeah, you're that kid from the bracket? I said, yeah.

He goes, and you host it with that fat Mexican kid, right? And he was talking about Giannis. Yeah. Yeah. I was a fat kid back then. Yeah, and I looked Mexican. And for a kid from New York who's in a union, and he's Giannis Pappas Yeah. I was a fat kid back then. Yeah. And I did. And for a kid from New York who's in a union and he's Giannis Pappas, he just assumes it's Mexican. He's a Mexican.

He just knows that he's not, that's not what he wants in his neighborhood. That's just not what he's. With a name like that. He's not familiar with that. He's not comfortable with that. And that, and it was the first time when we did the bracket was the first time that you saw my love of sweets. Because we would go take lunch breaks

and I would just, instead of getting actual food, I would get three or four black and whites. Yeah. I'd get black and white cookies from the deli right next door to the studio

right across the street from Madison Square Garden. It's also the time that we learned that MSG pays people too little. They don't pay anything. I mean, the heads of the networks

are scum. Scum bag. It's just what it is, but we don't work for you guys anymore. Yeah, so we can say whatever we want because we're protected by the power of fucking patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. Yeah.

We're protected by the great laws of Jeff Cohen, our lawyer. That's what we're protected by. Yeah, who was also chung from the Goonies, and he's both of our lawyers now. Now he's both of our lawyers. And he's a real badass motherfucker, and he always sends me a wine basket for every holiday, anniversary, or any deal I sign. I know what you're doing, Jeff. You're just pressing a button. Yeah.

But I do appreciate it. He's also a nice guy. And it's going to be somebody's secret Santa gift. That'd be so funny if you re-gifted his gift. It's just what I do. I'm Chrissy Re-Gifts. I don't have time. Yeah, we don't got time anymore.

CRG, Chrissy Re-Gift. And as Schultz says, time is more important than anything. Yeah, Schultz screwed me in. Yeah, he screwed you in. So anyone that's taking up my time is getting fired. Yeah, you're getting fired. Merry Christmas. Yeah, Schultz screwed me in. Yeah, he screwed you in. So anyone that's taking up my time is getting fired. Yeah, you're getting fired. Merry Christmas. Yeah, so we want to appreciate Zach,

because Zach's been here day one. He's a big part of the podcast. He also makes great music. You got to check him out. You know what I was thinking? We're doing the next live show we do. He should be doing his music as they're seated. So the party is started as they come in,

and that gives Jan the squeak. Jan the squeak can fucking run around. Absolutely. Have pansexual Jan go in there and just run around and do its music. Whatever it likes to do. Whatever it likes to do. And then when it's time over you throw some water on it. I don't know how you

stop those things. You just throw. Whatever you do. You throw some water. I don't know. You gotta wet know when you got to wet it. I don't fucking know. Whatever, it just runs around. Don't pour water on it. As the gremlins, they turn evil if you pour water on it.

Whatever, yeah. They multiply. But what's the rules of squeaks? What do you do with a squeak? Yeah, I don't know. Don't pick them up unless they're asked. There you go. Don't pick them up.

Yeah. I mean, have you ever thought about putting them in a backpack on your back and letting him rhyme there? Yeah. That would be a great idea. That would be a great idea. Yeah. Or a baby Bjorn so you can rap at the same time.

I like that one. Yeah. You got to get him one of those things, those John Sally-like sports, you know, the band that goes around the glasses,

the whole, because the kid's got no nose. Yeah, it's just what it is. He's got no nose. Yeah. I'd like to fucking tie him up like a pinata

and hit him with a whiff of taped up wiffle bat and see what comes out. Testosterone or estrogen? I'd like to take him through one of your songs and just throw him into the audience and hope that they catch him i'd like to throw him up like a beach ball and have them just punch him around yeah just punch him around like it's the 17th inning of the yankee game yeah no we love we love we love jan absolutely sweet fucking kid jan and jan you're welcome back whenever and you and you and our boy zach make great music. Absolutely. Their tunes are good.

But Zach's a horrible marketer. It's what it is. You go to his page, I don't know what he looks like. I don't know what he does. I don't know what he's talking about. He needs to get Venetia in his life. Yeah, Venetia needs to come in his life. And yeah, Venetia is keeping Zach around

because she's having an affair with him. We figured that out at the last meeting that she's fucking having an affair with Zach. It's what it is. But Zach's got a girlfriend who's a piece. Yeah, Zach has a girlfriend. Who he brought to the show. Yeah, he did.

Zach's great. The fans love Zach. We love Zach. We're happy to have him around for 100 episodes, two years. We made it. Has it been two years, actually? Almost two years, man. I think it'll be two years in February.

Yeah, you guys started January 2018. Yeah, Vanity was 18 when we started. Yeah, Vanity was 18. She started. Yeah, Vanity was 18. She's also a fucking squeak of an age. She's in her 20s. 26? 27. 27 is a good age.

27, they said, is a good age for a person. That's been the age of my previous three girlfriends. I raised them up until 30. Every 30th birthday, I still got the 30th birthday decorations in the closet. I'll pull them out for you. You're my wife now. Yeah. You may have to cackle that.

No, leave it in, you pussy. It's the 100th episode. Why did you guys start this again? You were getting there. Oh, okay. So we're Chrissy and Yanni, sidetracks. Yeah, absolutely. But you turned it over to New Leaf.

Yeah, we turned it over to New Leaf. You set it up because you're just squeaking out of the camera. I look at Jan. I'm friendly with my present. Should we get Jan and put him on a shelf like we used to have high heat of the trash monkey? Yeah, let's do it. He's a little elf on a shelf. Yeah, I just want him in here.

Yeah, the Jew kid in the corner is making me want pastrami. Way to sumchie. Yeah, this is the 100th episode. We're just going to fuck the wild. Good kid. I'm happy he's here now, too. He's making no mistake. He's getting groomed to take one of your two jobs.

I don't know which one. We don't know. But we can't save you. We're not privy to that information, but we don't know what he's doing here. He's lurking over one of you guys. He's lurking over one of you guys, yeah. We're not going to let it happen. No, we're not going to let it happen.

We're going to protect you guys at all costs. Because let's be honest, you guys don't really work for 800-pound gorilla or riot cats. You work for the hyenas. You work for us. Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to figure out I'm wearing my merch.

There's probably like $100,000 in that fucking account that we need to access. Yeah, and I guess I'm kind of realizing now that we put a lot of merch of our faces and bloody hyenas

and girls don't want to buy that. No, they don't want to buy that. Yeah, and they also don't want to buy T-shirts with pictures of my feet on it. No, they don't want that. Yeah. We just made some dumb merch ideas.

We did, but we're getting screwed in. We're getting screwed in now. Cuties and Smoothies is up on HistoryHahinas.com. I bought one. Yeah, so did I. And I bought a lot of 14 sweatshirts. A lot of 14 sweatshirts up there. I bought one as well.

Yeah, let's say that, guys. Our merch is up. Merry Christmas. You're going to be getting this around Christmas, so it's too late to get it as a gift. But get yourself a gift. Yeah. Right? Are we going to leave a promo around Christmas so it's too late to get it as a gift but get yourself a gift. Are we going to leave a promo code up or something? We can make one. Let's do the promo code Schultz.

Let's do promo code Schultz. Historyhyenas.com. It's a limited time offer that we're doing it. We're stealing that idea from Schultz too. From the day after Christmas to the new year we'll have promo code Schultz. I'll see what the discount will be. Okay, so promo code Schultz. Go to HistoryHyenas.com for all your merch options.

Yes. Go to the Teespring. And the latter 14 shirts designed by fucking Comedy Photoshop are money. Yeah. Money. Brian, he's good, and he does good flyers. What's his name again? Brian.

Brian Stefanik. Go follow Comedy Photoshop. The kid crushes it. The kid's good, yeah. And yeah, and is Lisa Tex back it. The kid's good, yeah. Did Lisa text back? Okay, let's call Lisa Johnson. Yeah, I'm going to get a little peowing right now because not only is this my matriarch wife,

but I'm just loaded with glue. Yeah, you're loaded with glue. You can't be expected to be responsible for your actions during this time period of transition. It's just what it is. We haven't farted on the episode since Ben and Tia's been here. You know you're backed up when you're jerking off to Vampirina. Hey.

Can you hear us? Hello? Oh, my God. Hey. Look. Who's jerking off? I've been jerking off because I'm celibate now, babe.

I just want to let you know I'm celibate and I'm friendly with my present and it feels powerful. Yeah. Eckhart Tolle. Well, good for you. Thank you so much.

Chris is off toots, and he's turning over a new leaf, Lisa Johnson. Yeah, and I almost beat the shit out of Giannis in the gym today. Yeah, he gave me a talking to. Yeah. I mean, I kind of believe you, but let's be honest. I mean, you're Christy White Life, so I don't know. I am CWL. Lisa Johnson, not only is she one of our most important fans,

if not our most important fan, I think I'd put her as queen of the matriarchy. She's queen of the matriarchy. That's why she's the only one getting a call. She also knows us really well, and she's also somebody else who, much like Rafael DeLuca, she's like, she's normal.

Normal girl. There's nothing fucking off about her. Lisa, let me ask you, when did you start listening to the podcast? I would say it was about fall of last year, but I actually signed up for Patreon in December. So it's coming up on a year since you guys announced my name. So it's kind of crazy that you're calling me out. Wow. Your anniversary of the Queen of the Matriarchy. How did you hear about us initially?

Did you hear about us from another podcast? Yeah, so I was listening to, it's really a funny story. So I was listening to Flagrant 2 and the first thing, I pressed play and you said something about being white. Any one of our black fans we got from Flagrant 2, let's just be honest.

I'm sorry to cut you off, but let's just be crystal clear. Any black fan that listens to this podcast, they're just from Flagler 2. It's what it is. I'm just tired of not saying that publicly. It's SLO chaos. But we're happy you guys are here. Hey, I'm happy to be here.

It was so funny because you guys said something about yeah, it's great to be white. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what is this? And so, like, I, like, started listening again. I just started cracking up when you started hitting on Akash. And so, like, I like history. And so I just started playing you guys. And I was working for a job that I just absolutely hated.

So it just made it easier to kind of run through all the episodes. But, yeah, that's pretty much how it started. But, yeah, I guess thank you, Andrew Schultz. Yes, no, thank you. Thank you. We thank you for everything. And Kaz and Akash. Yeah, thank you.

And thank you. You're such an involved, fun fan. You make Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys promoted. Marketing. Such a good place. Hashtag marketing. Hashtag marketing. Those are going to start too because we're fucking screwed. Yeah, we're startingoded marketing. Such a good place. Hashtag marketing. Hashtag marketing. Those are going to start too because we're fucking screwed.

We're starting the marketing. And I mean, yeah, no, the next show that we do, the next show that we do in New York City at the Gramercy Theater, if Lisa's available, we're going to get her a trip to New York City. That's what we're going to do. And it's on the company card. I mean, Chris is fucking wild. It's flights from Atlanta. I didn't say how we're going to get there.

We're going to get you a Greyhound ticket from Atlanta, and we're going to get you front row seats. Yeah. And we'll give you a free t-shirt. Listen, babe. Yeah. Listen, babe. We'll do the train.

I don't need the bus. We'll do train. All right, fine, babe. We got you. We'll do that. We'll definitely get her up here. No, we got to get her up here because she deserves it. She came to both shows.

Yeah, both shows. And she flew up here. She's our favorite. I would put, I'm saying Hall of Fame. I'm going, right now there's only two people in the Hall of Fame. I think it's Rafael DeLuca and Lisa Johnson. Absolutely. There's a lot of all-stars.

Yeah. There's a lot of first-team players. Yeah. But if we're starting our Hall of Fame two years in, I think we're going Lisa Johnson and Rafael DeLuca, and the rest of you got to work a little harder. It's what it is. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. And it's a very smart marketing move to put a blackuca and the rest of you got to work a little harder. It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And it's a very smart marketing move to put a black woman in the Hall of Fame first because diversity. Yes. People love it. Yeah.

Yeah. People love it. Yeah. But she fucking Lisa Johnson is probably our funniest. She definitely is. That video. Yeah. And we got some funny kids on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys,

but that video is legendary. Did we ever post that for other people to see on Patreon? Because I know she posted. We didn't post it. I don't think you guys did, but I also made another video for the live show because I was a hyena for Halloween, so I don't know if you guys would realize. Wow. No, we saw that.

I posted a picture with Tickle Me Elmo. Yeah. Hilarious. Which Paul Gassi said, whoever the person is sending him a text that say Tickle Me Elmo, he's starting to get really mad. So whoever that guy is, he's got to stop. Because it's a random number. I remember that.

I remember that. That was a story that we reposted. Yeah, it was my story. But wait. I'm going to upload it to YouTube, but I was going to do something for Christmas too. Okay, please do. Yes.

Please do. But did you make, you made another episode from the live, you made a video from the live episode? No, so like, it was like promoting

that I was going to be at the live show and like it was cackling, like it was talking like I was like a, like cackle. Yeah. And it had it in the caption.

So yeah. I mean, I can upload it and I'll post it to youtube and send v the link but yeah that's i did that for halloween you know you know somebody's a fan of this show and has been around for a long time if they're just referring to where is v where i mean yeah i mean it's what it is if a fan is if the fans on a on a basis where they just call v it's like she's like a friend of the show. I won't talk to that many fans. I read everybody's messages.

I appreciate the love. But there's a couple that I'll talk to. Hi. Hello. There's V saying hello to you. And I just want to say, like, she said you guys are going to call between 430 and 530. And so when the Greek dictator says to call me, to call LJ, you better fucking listen. That's right.

You don't know about just random shit. Like, you listen to her. Because let's be honest, if it wasn't for V, we wouldn't still have Patreon. Let's just call it a spade a spade. God's honest. Let's call it what it is. Yeah, and she has her raspy voice from yelling at us about Secret Santa. Yeah.

So we did a Secret Santa. We did it all wrong, Lisa Johnson. We did it all wrong, but we're going to reveal the gifts on the Patreon soon. So when you hear this episode, we'll know who got each other what. And I, yeah. Yeah. Whoever, whoever of mine has got a really good gift. Yeah.

They got a really good gift. Because it's just a re-gift. Truth, sir. I thought you were going to say like some blue chew or oregano pills. Yeah, no, the blue, Patty Fly Balls has all the blue juice. Yeah. He has all the blue juice. There's just certain episodes where Chrissy decides it's going to be a Truth Serum episode.

This is the 100th episode. Truth Serum Chrissy is dominating. Absolutely. I took some Pervitin again, and I'm ready to fly. All right, Lisa Johnson, listen, we love you. We just wanted to say thank you so much on the 100th episode. It's a celebration in here, and you're a huge part of it. Well, thank you.

Thank you for the call. I appreciate it. Happy to be here. Congratulations. You guys are doing a great job. Keep up the good work. Everyone's having a good time. Of course, not a long time.

That's right. Thank you so much. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas, Lisa. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Bye. I love you. Bye. She's the best. She Christmas, Lisa. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Bye. I love you. Bye.

She's the best. She's the best. She's number one. Yeah, she sets the example of what a Hyena fan, what we're all about. What all about. I mean, you know, she goes with it. She's interactive. Yeah.

She creates content that the other fans can see and have fun with. She's a leader. Lisa's a leader. Lisa's a leader. She's a leader. And they met up. They actually, and that's what I love about, you know, 2020 is like the fans meet each other. It's a community, you know?

They came up to the show. They hung out. They made friends with each other. They talk on the community board. That's what it's about, man. We're a scene and we love that we're, you know, we want you guys to make friends with each other and hang out or whatever. Like, that's what it's about, man.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I think throughout the course of this podcast, I probably moved in and out of my baby's mama's house about six times. So I would come in every quarter with just a new life. Half of this podcast was spent with my life being in garbage bags. Yeah, that was the beginning. We've really come a long way.

We're all the way at this point now Where the situation is really not even a situation anymore It's great Yeah Now we got a new situation and it's great Yeah, it's not even a situation And, you know, I'm leaving Bay Ridge You're leaving Bay Ridge, which is sad But I'm keeping my apartment there to be close to you

Keeping the apartment there to be close to you And we're going to make it a studio And it's going to be good We're going to figure it out But I can it's going to be good. We're going to figure it out, but I can't leave Bay Ridge altogether. You can't leave it altogether. I'm a New York City kid, and I'm a little scared of the woods. What I'm going to do is when Yanni finally leaves, I'm going to have to go through some morning time, whatever.

But then what I'm going to do is I'm just going to trap an owl, and I'm going to put some glasses on it and a sticker that said, I voted for Bernie, and just call it Yannis. And it's just what it's going to be. I mean just going to trap an owl. And I'm going to put some glasses on it and a sticker that said, I voted for Bernie. And just call it Giannis. And it's just what it's going to be. I mean, the kid looks like an owl. Yeah, it's what it is. And I'm just going to call it your little Gianni the owl. Yeah.

Now, Mike, are you going to Texas for Christmas? No, I'm here the whole time. Wow. Yeah. What are you doing? I don't know. I think you're going to come by my house. You want to go to Chrissy's family's house?

What do you want to do? You want to come by Aunt Janet's? Yeah, I'll go by Aunt Janet's. Yeah, go to Aunt Janet's. Figure some cigarettes. Mike's my plus one at Paul Verzi's Christmas party. Yeah. That'd actually be a good plus one.

Yeah. I think Paul would be okay with that. Yeah, I just worked with Paul in San Antonio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm bringing Mike or Vinatia. I had to take him. We took him to fine wine restaurants every night. Yeah, the kids.

He's in grape juice now. He's in fine wine. Yeah. Yeah, that's an exclusive list up there at Paul Verzi. Paul's a great guy. Get an invite to the Paul Verzi compound. And the cooking Mrs. Verzi does is, I can't explain to you how good the food is. It's unbelievable.

It's actually like, it's maybe the best home-cooked food I've ever had in my life. Let's book Paul Verzi. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He said he was going to come on. Oh, yeah. We had him on a call, but let's get him in the studio. Let's book Paul Verzi. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He said he was going to come on. Oh, yeah. We had him on a call, but let's get him in the studio. Let's get him in.

He's excited to come on. Yeah. Paul's a great kid. Yeah, and as you know, we're going twice a week. We hope you appreciate that. I'm trying to hook my daughter up with Paul's son. That's what you want to do. Well, just because it's a looker.

He's got the right look. Yeah. For what I want my daughter to bring home. He's a good-looking kid. Yeah, he's just not a good look. Yeah. It's just the kind of look, yeah, that you see in higher levels of ownerships and things like that. If you get my drift, it's just the kind of look.

You know, it's just, yeah. I'll say it like his name. He's got the kind of look where his name's on the car dealership. He's not fixing them. Yeah. You know, it's something like that. He's got a nice look. He owns the team.

He doesn't play for it. Yeah. Kind of look. It's character piece. It's character piece. It's character piece. That's my friend, Patty Maroon. He's got his fault.

He got rid of most of his cable, but he did keep Fox News. Yeah. It's just. He's got one channel. Yeah. It's just. Yeah. He's got a nice. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a nice look. And he's a good kid. Yeah, it's just... He's got one channel. Yeah, it's just... Yeah, he's got a nice... Yeah.

Yeah. He's got a nice look and he's a good kid. And also for your daughter, he's from West... I mean, he grew up there. He grew up there, yeah. So she's definitely

going to get him. That's it. She's going to... That's a top level for her. Are we supposed to be saying that? Yeah, no, cackle. You can't say my baby's name.

Cackle the baby name. Wiggle the baby name. And we're back. But she is Puerto Rican and she's looking to go to Westchester. She's looking to go to Westchester. And let's make no mistake, it's been your lifelong dream as Giannis to get up to Westchester. Because you are the true Marisa. I've said this from day one.

What you see, the biggest character piece that you've ever seen in the history of the world is Giannis Pappas. I mean, the guy has been playing a character for 44 years. You've seen glimpses of the real him, and that's Mauricio Tassit Rodriguez. That's right. Should we do Secret Santa? Well, let's do the... Patreon names? Okay.

And then get the bag. Someone get the bag. I'll get the bag. What do we got? Oh, and the sponsors. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Give me the sponsors. I don't know. Okay. So do you want me to do the sponsors in my head? Yeah. Do you do patreon.com first? Yeah. Do the patreon.com.

So do the names first? Yeah. Okay. Here we go. These are the newest members of the matriarchy that went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Yeah. No good? Well, we're going to do this and then the sponsors.

Okay. Okay. So the new names, the new people that got in. And this is just random. You guys just happened to get your name called out on the 100th episode. So congrats. Thank you so much for joining the Patreon. You're late to the game.

Okay. First name, Kyle Howells. Straight to the back. He's here for the content. Yeah. Then we got all one word. Nice piece that cracked open And cleaned out And Eileen's

With a ciggy Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah It's a ten

We haven't been doing Eileen in a long time Eileen Yeah well She's very proud of you You're disturbed You're disturbed If you said that Christy

You're disturbed And I told you You're thinking He's thinking with his dick He's thinking with his dick He's thinking with his dick He thinks with his dick Giannis do you want some Entenmann's Would you like an Entenmann's cake

Yeah my daughter Had a friend Doodle kitchen Yeah Do we need to cackle all that No we can keep it Next up we got Hamid the sand monkey

With fumes ready to go Boom Alu Akbar Muzzy life Yeah He called himself A sand monkey Yeah

Alright Then we got Tariqa Shelby Tariqa Shelby Tariqa Shelby's here For the content Yeah. He called himself a sand monkey. All right. Then we got Tarika Shelby. Tarika Shelby. Tarika Shelby's here for the content, but she's a strong black woman. She's a strong black woman. Okay. Then we got X Toot.

Chris, play with my skin flute. Yeah. Holy shit. Those are three contenders. Then we got EM. Then we got Pete Wanders. Here for the content. Jay Leah Travis. I'm here for the content. That's another black girl. Yeah. Then we got Matt theonders. Here for the content. J. Leah Travis. I'm here for the content. That's another black

girl. Yeah. Then we got Matt the screwed in New Haven potato monkey. No fumes. How you doing? Holy shit. That's four. Then I got AJ. I have a situation with the mother because I cracked open her sister. That's five. Shane. I break ass

cheeks, not heart flitting genie. Holy shit. For Christmas, they're coming strong. Then we got Elizabeth Walker. White Walker. Here for the content. Then I got Julia Beatjenbagakis and his spelling bee, DeBillis. That's a goodie.

Ted. Wait, is that my water? Yeah. Shout out Smithtown water. Then we got Ham, swing state voter within the walls of Ohio. Trump 2020, Smithtown water. That's a goodie. But it's on the fence.

You know, that's a Clyde Drexler. Then we got Harriet Tuchman, the bun-humping potato monkey. It's a goodie. But I'm going to go Clyde Drexler. Then we got Zach Kulp. I'm here for the content. Then we got Kyle, the massive bologna Macedonian. That's a goodie.

He's in the contention. Then last but not least, we got Yanni P Has a half clean bean You know what I mean That's obviously the winner You think that's the winner Wow The last one ended it Yeah

So the winner of the PPW Of the 100th episode Is Yanni Yanni P Has a half clean bean You know what I mean I mean It is

Absolutely Fucking insane How funny you guys have gotten. It's getting to the point where it's hard to really pick. Yeah, I mean, the fans are funnier than us. So you guys give us life. Yeah, I mean, thank you guys so much. And again, please tell your friends about History Hyenas. Go leave a review.

It's very important that you go over to iTunes and rate us and review us and leave a review. So we keep moving up the queue, man. We're starting to move quick. And once there's a tipping point, we're not even going to pretend. We're going to act like we don't even know you anymore. We don't know you anymore. And speaking of the tipping point and moving quick, our $100 sponsors who are just going to get going soon. They're going to get kicked to the curb any day now.

CBD Script. Wait, so what's the situation with that? Bullshit. Whatever. Let me just do it. CBD script. CBDscript.com or whatever the fuck. Get your ad.

You know, CBD. Go get it. Google CBD script. No teeth. Just S-C-R-I-P. 9th Street Auto Collision, which is in Long Island, nowhere near 9th Street. He's a guy. I think he's paying a little bit more, but he's going to get kicked to the curb too.

It's going to be. You're going to start paying big money at some too It's going to be You got to start Paying big money At some point 9th Street Auto Collision Go get your car Cracked open And cleaned out

Smithtown Where is it Smithtown Huntington Station Huntington Station Long Island Which is a really nice place 631-531-5300

Something like that We might be playing The Paramount Theater In Huntington Station Very soon So go to 9th Street Auto Collision Then we got

Sandra Azizi Who's a doctor Who wants to do comedy I mean it's just a Fucking free-for-all now with entertainment So he's doing, I think he's a GI doctor Let's have him on for the History of Ass Doctor What is SandraAzizi.com? Dr. Saul's, but can we contact him?

Dr. Saul's on Instagram, that's Dr. Saul's on Instagram I'm sure you can see Recent colonoscopies and also his 5 minutes Um Yeah Giannis is dead and also it's five minutes um yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so he got and then uh fucking what's it the lakeside maple stick it up your ass uh the kid will go to lakeside maple on instagram he's a big fan he gave us he gave you honest t-shirt with his name on he gave me nothing i'm gonna stick your fucking i'm gonna stick your granola up my ass and shit it out for $1,000 on the webcam Patreon.

Yeah, so we got that. Lakeside Maple is delicious, though. I love it. It is good. And then who's got it? Promo code what? Wild? Lakesidemaple.com.

Promo code Wild. Or Hyena's 15. I can't remember what's the switch. That's EBD's grip. Then we got Dr. Harvey Spencer Oswald. We got his... Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. A healthy, happy smile.

Rock Hill, South Carolina. But now I think he's also got a mixtape or some shit coming out. So it's just like, I don't know. The physicians that listen to us, they also are doing other things. So go take your chances, whatever you need to do. And then who's the other one we got? Matt Koch.

Matt Koch. Oh, Matt Koch. Go to Matt Koch, Nutrition Made Fun. Or is it Nutrition Made Simple? Nutrition Made Fun. No, Nutrition Made Fun on the gram. Nutrition Made Fun on the gram. He's got a lot of promo codes.

He's always talking about salads and chewing slow and whatever the fuck. So I think he's from Seattle or some shit like that. So Nutrition Made Fun, Matt Koch or Matt Koch. It's a K-O-C-H. Matt Koch. Matt Koch. Go listen to his stuff and go on Instagram. Him, he's a big supporter, so we appreciate it.

And also our $500 sponsors. Did you see the Instagram? I did that one first. At Tank Sinatra. Let's just say it's about Tank Sinatra. He was just on Ellen. He was just on the Ellen DeGeneres show. He was just on Ellen.

Tank's Good News was just on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Just on Ellen. Tank's Good News was just on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Tank is a fucking huge supporter of our show. Just want to say thank you, Tank. He takes pictures in the merch. He's got himself a fucking shirt. He came to see you. Tank Sinatra, we love you. We love you.

More importantly, we love your money. We love your money and your sisters in peace. He's a fucking kid from the island. He's a fucking kid, and island. He's a fucking kid, and he's the one that coined Smithtown Water. Yes, Smithtown Water. And then our other five-

And also shout out Redding- Woodard Department. Woodard Department. James Altucher, who emailed us, who said we're going to be on his podcast, and he said he doesn't care. He just wants to give us his money because he's made millions of dollars

on Bitcoin. Yeah. So go to his comedy club, Stand Up New York. We asked him what we want to say. He also does comedy He does comedy I mean who doesn't guy

So it's just You know It's actually really true It's just whatever you want to do I think Dan Soder's Ex-girlfriend's doing comedy I mean everybody does it now There's no rules anymore

Everybody does it I mean you just Fuck it You just go up there And just speak to the mic It doesn't matter Even this kid's doing comedy now And he was funny on the gram

But even he's doing stand up Michael Rampaport Stand up isn't even a thing anymore. It's just a thing. It's just like a fucking whatever. It doesn't matter. You just go up there and do it. Who cares?

Yeah, just do your skit. Sell the tickets, get the money that people pay. So, yeah, that's pretty much in a nutshell the sponsors, and we really appreciate you guys' service. We do. We love each and every one of you, but I think there are some changes coming. It's just what it is.

I feel it coming. Yes, look at us. It's just what it is. And, look,. Yes, look. It's just what it is. And look, we hope you enjoyed the run with us for the two years. And we really thank you because you guys did get us off the ground. But the truth is this is a capitalist society. Yeah. And we're just too big now.

We got bigger. Yeah. So we did give every – you're a part of the show. Everyone knows who you are. Yeah. And Veneti is going to give you an option to stay with us. Yeah. But other than that, you're getting caught. What it is, once we going to give you an option to stay with us. Yeah. But other than that, you're getting caught.

What it is, once we get to 200 Gs on Patreon, which are coming soon, when you guys start DMing me, you're just going to start getting replies that say cease and desist from my lawyer. I'm not talking to anybody. I'm going to become a monster when we get to 200K. Yeah. It's just what it is. Yeah.

But again, this is a celebration of our Patreon members. You guys make our show. That is the era that we in. That we in, yo. Yeah. And I just fixed that. Hey, I'm just talking like that. You've been forgetting letters and words.

I know, because I have Alzheimer's. I have Alzheimer's. You're Yanni Sundown. I'm Yanni Sundown. Let's get to Secret Santa. I want to give our gifts out. We're going to do it on the potty. But thank you.

And tell your friends about History Hyenas. And also, if you have not joined Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, go ask a Patreon member how much they're loving it. Okay. Because you're missing a ton of good content, including our latest Ladder 14 video that we put up there, and also some other good content. And now it's Secret Santa. Now it's Secret Santa time.

What you're hearing is the ruffling through my Dunkin Donuts bag That I put my gift in Wait so this goes to me Okay so what are we doing That's going No that's for Zach That goes to Zach That's the Secret Santa

Go to Zach Are we opening them on the pod Yeah This is for me Yeah Wow I love how nobody wrapped them Everyone just got them in bags

What do we do do we don't do anything oh sorry you know venetia's is gonna be wrapped of course yeah so yeah we know yeah i can see the fucking gift through the bag yeah i think it's not the only one who's right zach is walking away out of here a fucking winner yeah we know whoever we know whoever. I think Zach's gift is going to be a lot better than the rest of us. Yeah, and we know whoever Mike's gift was, whoever Secret Santa Mike's was,

your gift's going to have barbecue sauce on it. Either that or Slurpee syrup. Slurpee. Turkey with Slurpee. All right, so what do we do now, Venetia? You got really nice hands. Yeah, and I want fucking Yaya's cookies. I didn't. Turkey with a Slurpee. All right, so what do we do now, Benatia? You got really nice hands. Yeah, and I want to look at Yaya's cookies. I didn't bring.

I'm sorry, guys. I brought Yaya's cookies. Secret Santa is we all get gifts. We didn't do this properly. The guys didn't know, but we all get gifts, and we put it in the side, and then we try to see what our gifts are. We're going to open them, and we're going to guess who we think got us the gift. Got it.

Then, yeah, I mean, you still keep the gift. Well, mine is a stone-cold guess because I don't know who got me this. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, sister, open your gift. I got a fart. Can we do it in front of Vanity or no? Okay, I got a German dictionary. I think Vanity is my secret Santa.

Wow, that's a goodie. Is that you? You can't say yet. Wait, I think we're going to guess first. Wow, that's a goodie. Is that you? You can't say yet. Wait, I think we're going to guess first. There's more. Oh, there's more. Okay, there's more in there. No, you guys are opening it up.

Okay, my go. Okay, my go. We'll go one at a time. Wait. Yeah, what else did you get? And I also got rainbow flag socks. And a German dictionary. Yeah, that's a goodie.

This is great. Yeah, that's real good. I've been wanting to learn German. Okay. Am I open to mine? Oh. Yeah, let's do the boys. This is great. Yeah, that's real good. I've been wanting to learn German. Okay. Am I open in mind? Oh. Yeah, let's do boys first. Okay, boys first.

Okay, boys first. Chris is already learning his German words. Schaaf. Look, Mike's getting his thing out, so I think it's from Mike, because I think he's giving it away that he's filming me. No. Are you filming me? I'm doing it for everybody.

Oh, okay. I'm sorry to fuck up your video. Okay, what's this? What's that T-shirt? This is my Santa secret gift. Secret Santa. Secret Santa. He's holding up a T-shirt right now.

He's trying to figure out what this is. What the fuck is this? It's got a bullseye on it. Yeah, hold on. This doesn't look good. Chris is reading his German dictionary. Let's see. It's got a bullseye on it.

It looks like merch. Is this Zach's merch? Yes, it is. Yeah. Zach's merch. Now I know who got me that. You've got an exclusive piece of Zach like merch. Is this Zach's merch? Yes, it is. Yeah. Zach's merch. So now I know who got me that. You've got an exclusive piece of Zach's merch. That's okay.

It's a Fruit of the Looms shirt, and it's going to shrink in the wash, but I'm going to wear it once or twice in its original size. Yeah. Thank you, Zach. Okay, so now I know who got me mine, I guess, right? You have always been a big supporter of my rapping stuff, so I wanted to make sure you got one of those. Thank you, Zach. I am a big supporter.

I think you're really good, man. Thank you. I'm going to wear that with pride. What the fuck is it, though, Zach? Mike is opening up his. Something wrapped in a ho-ho. Mike's got things in a Santa hat. Yours is actually wrapped. Yeah, a little bit.

And I got a White Castle dessert butter cake. Yeah, that's what it is. We're a couple beef cakes, and you're a butter cake on a stick. Yeah. But that's only one of the gifts. Who got you that? What else did you get there? I got a Texas Roadhouse card for some kind of value

because something about value is written on it. Texas Roadhouse card. You could probably take that and have a holiday family dinner with your family. And there's probably enough money on there to just do one because your family is you because you kicked your ex-wife to the curb. Yeah, that's how that works. Yeah. All right. Now, Zach.

Actually, I got a really cool gift. Oh, and you got a ho-ho hat. Yeah. Which you got to wear now. Let's put it on. Whoever got you that is telling you that. I'm going to guess it's you. Yeah, you got me.

You got me. I'm going to guess it's you. Yeah, you got me. You got me. I am Mike's Secret Santa. Backwards? What is it? Yeah, it was backwards. Now, what he got was he got a White Castle butter cake on a stick. No, that's supposed to be the front, the ho, ho, ho. This is the head part.

He got a $25 gift certificate to Texas Roadhouse. Is that what it's shaped? And Mike got... Oh, I don't know. And he got a Christmas hat. There we go. Ho, ho, ho. Yeah, that looks good.

Yeah, I just want Mike in hats and wigs. He looks good whenever you put something on his head. I look better in hats. Yeah, he does. And wigs.

There we go. So, Zach, what did you get? I got something really good. Chris got me a portable smart projector. It's what it is. I got that for you. You get a $300 gift.

Which is pretty, which is kind of a step up from all the others. Yeah, I say thank you to Comedy Central. So it's a re-gift. It's what it is. I opened it up in the mail today and I forgot there was Secret Santa, so Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Kwanzaa and happy Chudica as well to the guy in the corner. Yeah, Happy Chunica.

Yeah. Okay, this is hilarious. Do we know what his name is yet? He's been here four hours. Adam. Andrew. Oh, Andrew. I got a bunch of screws.

That's hilarious. And I also got a pack of cigarettes. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. I want one. Yeah. You need a ciggy. This is amazing.

And I think it was Mike who got it. Mike, wow. I think his is the funniest because she screwed it and he got her a bunch of screwdrivers. Yeah. I love it. I thought we were supposed to go for funny. I'm sorry. No, that's perfect. I mean, mine is hilarious.

Yeah. Mark's is hilarious. I think they're all pretty funny. Yeah, I got socks. So Venetia was yours? I got software. Yeah, I got him this. Venetia, get a U.

The German dictionary and rainbow-colored flag socks is yours? Yeah, I got him this. Venetia getting you the German dictionary and rainbow colored flag socks is hilarious. Yeah, this is hilarious. Because you put on the website you suggested randomly socks and I was like, okay, perfect. Oh, I did? Yeah. Did you see that? Oh, yeah.

We did Secret Santa yesterday. We all got names and we did it. This was successful. Good job, guys. We always do it one day ahead of time. That made it funner. That was fun. I actually wrapped yours, but then everybody came in plastic bags, so I put it in a plastic bag and threw it off.

I love that he got you a pack of ciggies, because that's the reason why your voice is raspy. You smoked a lot of ciggies. You know what else we're doing? Is that the right brand? No, hers is a Greek brand. No, I didn't. You know what else we're doing? You know what? Is that the right brand? No, hers is a Greek brand. Not that I've ever had one. Not that I smoke cigarettes.

Yeah. Yeah, nobody smokes. Yeah, that's bad. Yeah. So a request we're making of our fans in 2020 is we want you guys to make marketing videos for us. We want you to do something funny and tell someone to listen to the history hyenas,

however it may be, and then just say marketing at the end. That's, yeah. And we'll pick your funny videos and we'll repost them. For example, like when me and Mark, when me and, I called you Mark. I am, yeah, I am losing my mind. When me and Chris, a prank called Fry Boots,

and at the end we told her, hey, we just want you to listen to History Hyenas. And remember, for the fans who've been around a long time, when we went into Rite Aid, and there was a kid behind the counter, and Chris tried to get him to listen to History Hyenas. I said we were two dope queens. He said it's better than two dope queens and all that shit.

He's like, we do all types of shit like that. If you're ordering from the drive-thru, do it there. Exactly. Be respectful. Be legal. Be nice. Just yell marketing. Yeah, just funny.

Sammy Mason did a good one. Sammy Mason did a good one. Just make a History Hyenas marketing video where you're spreading the word about History Hyenas, however you want to do it, get creative, please stay safe, we won't consider anything that's not fucking safe,

that's not legal, and that's not good hearted, so do that, make it funny, we're going to pick the ones we like, and we're going to post them on our account, and that's how we're going to tackle our grassroots marketing,

is through you guys, because that's how it's been going so far. You guys have been telling your friends. So now we're taking it to the next level. Since you guys are so funny, we want you to continue being funny and being creative and we want to see it because it's entertaining us. And we're going to post them. So send those videos over to V. If you're Lisa Johnson,

you can call her V. Everybody else, it's Queen Venetia. It's what it is. Alright, thank you guys so much. The 100th episode. Bravo, guys. Historyhyenas.com, Christycomedy.com, YanisPapasComedy.com. What's your website, Mikey? I don't have a website, but on Instagram,

at Mike V. Suarez. At Mike V. Suarez. And then Z the Dropout on Instagram. Yeah, and come see me and Mike at Gotham and also at Uncle Vinny's. Get your tickets, YanisPapasComedy.com. Yes, sir. All right. Oh, yeah.

I'll be in January, Atlantic City, Denver in the beginning of January in Hamden, Connecticut. Mike will be with me on Connecticut and Atlantic City. Oh, sweet. Yeah. All right. 100th episode. Whee! Let's go eat.

I have no STDs. Hello.