History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 106 - Andrew Santino is WILD!

Episode Date: December 26, 2019

The Cuzzies are joined by Andrew Santino from the Whiskey Ginger Podcast, talking East Coast vs West and why Al Capone was not as screwed in as we were taught! Laddah 14 comes on to welcome Santino and things get WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Yeah, that's gonna suck. Okay, um... Prince. Prince of this. Starting. Starting. Yeah. Are we on camera still? Yeah.

This place is going down the tubes. Yes, it is. Looks like we're doing a podcast in an abandoned building. Yeah, which is cool. It's a new rustic look. All right, here we go. Welcome, everybody, to History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, Giannis Pappas, and our guest today is Andrew Santino.

And what I love about this show is it's just the way life should be and the way America still is, despite the news channels. You got three white men in charge with two minorities working for us. Yeah, get the button ready. That's what it is. That's how it always should be for the rest of time. Yeah. What kind of minority is he?

He's a Mexican. We're going to throw him. Oh, yeah. I feel like I'm back home. We're in the process right now. Once we get enough money on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, thank you for the fan support.

We're going to buy a catapult and we're throwing him back over the fucking wall to Mexico. Jesus Christ. When you say back, but I've never been there before. Yeah. Okay. We're going to buy a catapult and we're throwing him back over the fucking wall to Mexico. Jesus Christ. When you say him back, but I've never been there before. Yeah. Okay, we've heard that one before. Yeah, exactly. Where's your papers? Yeah, I know. What part of Oaxaca are you from?

Yeah. Then we got Zach Isis who's fucking fully jihadding. He's got a shaved head and a long beard. Yeah, he's for the terrorists. You know what that beginning reminded me of? Do we have to do the beginning over? No's one big question why not i mean what a better way to welcome somebody than just that was like a flying knee to the face that was like sandoval verse ben what was you just like you just came out of the gate saying three white men with two

minorities working for us and it's like the button wasn't even ready yet that's what it is he didn't even have the button ready yet well i'm wearing the t-shirt that says ladder 14 yes because i'm so you know the kind of mood i'm in if I'm wearing the Ladder 14 t-shirt? You're in a racist mood. Do you know what Ladder 14 means? No. Okay, so here's the thing. Come on.

It's very inside info with this. So Ladder 14, anytime we say something wild, we just say Ladder 14 because character piece. And it gets rid of all the nonsense. Ladder 14 and Wei Shan Xian. We have two things. But Ladder 14, it's two Republican firefighters Sean Terry Patrick Mulrooney we got a subsidiary podcast that we do

and we're just guys that we fucking we fight fires and we love Donald Trump and that's okay but it seems like it's not okay in today's America

why not because you got fucking everybody wants to cut their dicks off yeah and what are they doing with them when they're off anyway

sickos yeah they're probably making them into paper straws fucking fnooks. Fucking turtle, because the turtles, you're making your dicks into turtle straws. Yeah, fuck, I love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Not no more, because they're a bunch of fucking paper straw fiends.

Yeah, where- A lot of 14. Where do they- A lot of 14. What do they do with the penis after they chop it off? They cremate it, or- I don't know, I've heard that so many times. No, they put-

I think you can get it taken home in a box. You can do a lot of things with it. You think- Well, do you think they freeze it like a placenta? Do they freeze placenta? They freeze placenta for nutrients. And you drink it, right? Yeah.

Joey, shout out our boy Joey Kamasta at Mr. Joey P on Instagram. He got frozen placenta and he used it as a face mask because he said there's a lot of nutrients. His wife's placenta or something? No, he does not have a wife. He just got it from the web? I mean, he may have a wife, but it's a guy. Is you just get that from Amazon now? Yeah, I think you just get it on Amazon.

Hot. I mean, dude, I would fucking take leftover penis. It's keto. It is keto. But I don't know if it's keto. You got to look that up. Is there any other, is there anything inside of there that's going to be non-keto? That's going to be, yeah, is it got too much?

Because it's got to have fat and protein. If it has any carbs, I can't do it. There's got to be carbs in your dick for sure. Well, there's carbs in my dick for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I've seen your dick. That thick thing. That fucking tuna can.

I sent him a pic of my rock hard cock. Send it to me this morning, baby. You sent him a pic of your dick already? Yeah. He said, I said, when you come in, I'm going to kiss you on the lips. He said, no, I'm going to kiss Giannis. I said, Giannis is dirty. I'm clean.

And he said, prove it. So I sent him my pic. He did prove it, though. He did prove it. But you know what's so funny about the photo that you sent? Yeah. It was a little blurry. So I couldn't really tell.

It could have been a good angle, and you could be covering up some bumps. You kamikazed him with a dick pic? Kamik'd him with a dick pic kamikaze for the patreon for the pay yeah we can put it on the patreon yeah we can't put our patreon because 420 is on the patreon yeah she is wait who's 420 so i got i got a girl that i really no no no it's a girl that like i really really like like not like i'll only say somebody's officially my girlfriend if they meet if i feel confident enough to meet your daughter they can meet my daughter then back okay where it's like a serious thing now so if it's the girl like i really like but i don't want to say her name on the podcast so i just say her birthday 420

which janice has a problem with because i'm very german and he doesn't like me calling people by their numbers yeah why it reminds me of a bad time because there's a little thing in history that happened where they what happened um i don't believe it yeah but from what i hear there's a story what is the story's a story what happened was basically it was propaganda that the Germans lost the war but we actually won big time

that's why there's brothers speaking German all over Europe there's a Nazi colony that still exists on Antarctica and so your ancestors and his ancestors were buds? we enslaved his ancestors and his ancestors were buds? We enslaved his ancestors. Oh. Yeah.

And the number thing was bad. The number thing was bad because there was a speculation that we rounded up people of a certain group. I think both of you guys are good guys. Thank you. I appreciate that. If you're a good guy, I think you're a good guy. And you got a warm vibe. We're all good guys.

Yeah. We're all good guys. You're all good guys. Way song Cheating. You guys are all great. Yeah. Especially like Cheetah. Theo Vaughn, you're a monster. So are you, Schultz. Yeah. You guys are all great. Yeah. Especially like Cheetah. Theo Vaughn, you're a monster.

So are you, Schultz. Yeah, you guys are monsters. And Nate Bargatze. Yeah. Yeah, no. I got Andrew Santino. I gave him a fucking shirt. Got me a shirt, baby.

I mean, the kid comes to New York, he gets a t-shirt and a dick pic. Boom. Who's a better host than you? Yeah, what else do you want, guy? That's all I wanted. Yeah, come over and cook for me. I'll cook for you. Who sent me the host than you? Yeah, what else do you want, guy? That's all I wanted. Come over and cook for me. I'll cook for you. Who sent me the email, by the way, that it was... Oh, that's Vanitya, who's

a piece. She's a sweetheart, huh? She's a piece. She said, hey, can't wait for you to do the show. I'm a massive fan. I know the guys really love you and tell me what you want to talk about. I didn't know. I thought you were going to tell me what to talk about. Well, we do, but now because we have a staff that we pay too much so so how much does he get paid

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't chris it's so easy to bait him it's so easy to bait him you're the easiest guy to say i was just kidding yeah and anything i'll be should i beef it up no you just don't don't say whatever he gets how about this whatever he gets paid i'm being serious after today you got to pay him times 0.5 what he makes fine perfect okay and i gotta pay him more and he gets less less less just because what's going on in the world right now exactly they need our help more than they need our help yeah which is half of what i would that's exactly right thank you for listening yeah and chris don't say on the air what you told me privately say it say, say it, say it, say it. What he said was, we're paying them this amount, but knowing those two minorities,

they're going to fake an injury to collect Social Security off of us. Yeah, that's what I allegedly said. Because they know how to work the system, and they're going to get workmen's contracts. That wasn't me. That was Patrick Mulroney who said that. That was Patrick Mulroney who said that. Patrick Mulroney said that.

Yeah, listen. How'd you know Patrick Mulroney? How'd you meet those guys? Well, Patrick Mulroney and Sean Terry, they're fucking, well, we met, they're just, they're. They're New York firefighters? They're New York firefighters. They may or may not be based off guys from my hometown. Yeah.

Right. Basically what happens is, is, is when you go deep into Brooklyn, when you meet a guy like Patrick Mulroney and Sean Terry. Yeah. What, just things are a little bit more clear. It's an easier life. And what I mean by that is when you go over there, first of all, it's very Republican and you just understand things. Like you understand the lies from the media you

understand that yes of course climate change was from the chinese 100 it's bullshit it's like tell me it's fucking 80 degrees out why is it cold today why is it why did i wear a jacket today cold today and i'll tell you why it's because the Chinese make it up. Liptards. And the Jews control it. Yeah. This is going to bury me, this thing. I heard that the Jews control it. Yeah. I think you did. We did. Yeah, no, no.

We can edit it out. Yeah, no, no. Leave it in. Did we come out too hard? I think you came out swinging too much. Okay, all right. Let's scale it back. Let's scale it back.

Yeah. Let's scale it back. How did you get into comedy? Should we just do the whole podcast issue Sean Terry and Patty Mulroney? No, no, we can't do it. Let's just do it like that. So where are you from? Are you from Los Angeles?

That's a real down. Sure. Yeah. The whole place is on fire because Jesus don't like that place. Yeah, because it's, yeah. Yeah, you vote to the left, your fucking place goes on fire. That's what God said. Yeah, it's what it is.

Yeah. Well, who's Sean? Who's Patrick? That's the problem. I'm Patrick Mulroney. That's Sean Terry. Obviously. Now switch. Now see what Who's Patrick? That's the problem. I'm Patrick Mulroney. That's Sean Terry. Obviously. Now switch.

Now let's see what it sounds like when you switch. Wow. I'm Sean Terry. Hi, I'm Patrick Mulroney. I'm in the closet. That's good. I'm just this way to impress my friends, but deep down. How many of those tough guys are actually gay but won't come out?

A lot of them. Most of them, right? Yeah. I mean, I got a friend who's like, he's a classic firefighter. I mean, he comes with me on trips. He'll ask me three weeks before what he's supposed to wear. What should I wear? Send me pictures of his jeans and his shoes.

Does this match? I'm like, guy, if your friends ever knew, if your firefighters ever knew that you were sending me these pictures, they wouldn't want you to be behind them in a fire. You know what I mean? Get the hose. But they're all doing that. They're in that house alone all the time. Yeah, yeah.

What are they doing? Watching TV the whole time? Yeah. It's like, what are you, my girlfriend? You don't think they kiss each other at night? A little bit. Before they go, have a good firefight. I don't think there's anything gay about it.

Before they get on the truck, they go, have a good firefight. Yeah. That's how they do it. Just a soft one like that, but that's okay. Just a soft tap. Good luck in the firefight.

Soft tap's not gay unless you use it. You've got a perfectly manicured beard. Why? I want to feel it from the inside. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. What do you mean? You guys are both perfectly manicured men as well.

No, no, no. That's like a nice fucking beard, dude. Well, I'm trying, you know. And you're gingy. When I come to New York, I have to do this kind of, yeah, I have to look like this. You know where he's from? Chicago. Chicago.

You're from Chicago. Yeah, Chicago. Old noise. It's the same kind of guy. We got those guys in Chicago as well, but their whole thing is all about homos. They don't like homos. I don't know. Mos. They call them mos. They're just not my kind of guys. That's all.

No, I bet they're nice guys. I don't want them anywhere near me. I bet they're nice. We're going to the track. You want to go to the track? Are they the same as gays? Is homos the same as gays? Mos. Mos. They call them mos. Homos is gays. We call them Democrats. Yeah, I call them Democrats. That's my name from Hillary's support.

Character piece. Show me the emails. Ladder 14's character piece. I like Chicago. It's a good town. Chicago is... It's like a clean New York. It's like New York's...

No, people say that, but New York is clean. No, it's not. Yes, it is. There's rat piss everywhere. The difference is, I think, between New York and Chicago is you guys will throw your... Chicago will throw their trash in the back. We have to throw our trash in the front. It's a huge difference. But even still, these streets are still clean for the most part in Manhattan. In Manhattan will throw your trash. Chicago will throw their trash in the back. We have to throw our trash in the front. It's a huge difference.

But even still, these streets are still clean for the most part in Manhattan. In Manhattan for the most part. This is very Disneyland now. Every time I come back, I'm like, wow, this is cleaner and nicer than it ever was. What part of the city are you staying in? Well, I'm in Tribeca.

Oh, Tribeca. That's really nice. Yeah, but I know. But everywhere I go, I still feel like this is getting nicer and cleaner and nicer. That's true. That is true. Chicago is a clean city, but same thing

like New York. There's parts that are not so fucking clean. So do you think Chicago used to be cleaner and nicer before? Like it's getting worse or it's getting better? No, it's getting exponentially better. It's like this place. I feel like every time I come back, it's nicer. It's more improved. Everything is getting more like, you know, everything is getting cleaner

and safer. There is no bad. What's a tough part of Manhattan? Honestly. Like a, I mean. In part in Manhattan. I mean, I guess. Uptown now. See, that's what I mean.

Uptown or Alphabet City, Avenue D. No, that's not even that. No way. That's not tough. Not anymore. Well, I guess you'd have to go really high up. The Lower East Side is not like a scary place. You have to go like Washington Heights now. You have to go like high, high, northern New York.

That's what I mean. Chicago is the same way. It's like the central hub of it, like this, what our Manhattan would be. Yeah. It's the same. It looks the exact. It feels the same. High, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high,? Of course, yeah. Yeah, you go. Yeah, you go down there. What do you think? You buy drugs. All right, we'll be right back after these messages. Our sponsors today are Ladder 14. Ladder 14. Yeah, the firehouse. Yeah, what do you think?

You buy drugs and Jordans. Yeah. Yeah, if you want the real fake ones. Yeah, the drugs. You get the fake ones or the real ones, you get the real fake ones. Those are the best. Those are the ones you get on the discount.

Yeah, of course. Everybody in Chicago has been in those tough neighborhoods, but it's not... People aren't getting murdered at a rate all over the city. Everything is centralized. Everything is kept in a certain area.

You're right. It's like New York. It's like nobody is getting killed in Battery Park City. When you hear the statistics, it's like two, three neighborhoods that keep ringing up. Where's the worst crime in New York? Probably East New York. Well, yeah. Not in Manhattan.

You'd have to go to – No, no, not here. I know it's not here. Like the Bronx. There's still some parts of the Bronx that are bad. Like Yana said east new york brooklyn is bad brooklyn's not brooklyn's bad jamaica some parts of jamaica queens are bad yeah yeah queens but it's outskirts like you're never gonna in manhattan it's just like you said it's disneyland it's so clean and nice yeah it's like a little bit too i kind of miss a little funk i want to be scared on the

walk home yeah like i want to walk home in the evening and get a little nervous. Not anymore. I feel great. I love it. Yeah, I mean, walk through some of the gay neighborhoods. Then you'll feel a little nervous at night. Which ones are they? Because you're a cute kid. You'll get hit on. Are you kidding me? You get fucking punched through.

Hit on me then. You're out on the street and I'm out walking by. What's up, babe? Hey, what's going on? Good, how are you? I like your beard, guy. Oh, cool. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I just got it done. Yeah. What, uh, you got a girlfriend or something? Or... Uh, I don't know, man. Yeah, I mean, I, you know, yeah, why? Yeah? No, I'm just asking.

You wanna suck my dick or what? Um... Chris, who the- I flipped it on you? Who the fuck are you talking to? Do you know this guy? What the fuck? Who's this? I've been waiting in Ray's Pizza for 20 minutes.

Who is this? And you're out here talking to this fucking Louis C.K. looking guy? Who is this? This is 420. Are you into red pubes? Is that what it is? Yeah. It's because of my fumes and I'm Greek?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fuck you, Chris. I'm done. You're done. Yeah, no. Well, now that you're single, you want to go fuck? Yeah, no, dude.

I do. I want to get a fucking cannoli and I want your ass to be the cannoli shell and I'll fill it up with the cream. That's how it sounds. Yeah, no, dude, I do. I want to get a fucking cannoli, and I want your ass to be the cannoli shell, and I'll fill it up with the cream. That's how it sounds. Yeah. Yeah, my dick's name's Little Italy, guy. Yeah. Is it really?

Yeah. Mine's Chinatown. Oh, wow. Chinatown's taking over Little Italy. I want to find a parking spot. That's right, Chinatown is overthrowing Little Italy. Yeah, there's Chinese everywhere. Oh, wait a minute.

A lot of 14. That's character peace. You're Little Italy, he's Chinatown. You're trying to fuck him, but he turns you around and fucks you. Yeah. Man, wait a minute. A lot of 14. That's a character piece. You're a little, he's Chinatown. You're trying to fuck him, but he turns you around and fucks you. Yeah. Man, I love it. Yeah. The Chinese are buying up property, and it's a fucking, the government is subsidizing,

and it's bullshit. Right. And Trump's going to fix it. Yeah. Right. Now, where does Trump live here in the city? What part of the city? He lives in my fucking mother's house.

Does he? No. He lives in her heart. He lives in Staten Island. Doesn't Trump live in Staten Island? No. Trump lives in Midtown. Does he? It's a big trump building yeah but he doesn't live there he doesn't live there no well i think i think they say he lives there and he lives somewhere else i i could

i would yeah i would uh you're voting for him again you're voting for him oh he's out of the closet from the first time he's full out of the closet from the first time you're full out of the closet conservative you know what just let me be honest with you no let me be honest with you i was if you would have talked to me a week ago i would say yeah guarantee trump 2020 but i don't know i went to this concert the 1975 concert and i was around i was around a lot of liberals and they're a very liberal band and i was like i like these guys music i like this guy's message i was listening to what he said about climate change and then singing his songs with fucking great avon fucking thunkenberg whatever her name is great i was like and i was like you know these people aren't as bad as i thought you know it's like i mean they're annoying and i'm like all right shut up but i feel

like i could be swayed now to vote just because how nice they were left because they're nice people but i probably don't i vote for you know what i like about your opinion you have a sound you have a sound understanding of policy that's's why I like the way you vote. Yeah. You don't go based on emotions. You go right for policy and things that matter. Yeah. Like the biggest, the things that matter the most are what to you?

In politics. In politics? Yeah. Wow, guy. You're asking him a question that's a little over his head right now. In politics? Here's what I'll say. I'm a weird guy.

Yeah. It's like I want, I believe, 100% in pro-choice. I believe it's a woman's right to choose. Absolutely. I think religion should be 100% out of politics. I don't think it should have any effect on anything. And I also just want the wall. So I don't know.

It's just you can't have, not the wall, but it's like you can't have people just fucking walking in and out of here. I understand that America. You want the wall and a catapult for the ones who get locked in here that you can put them over? I understand that America's just lines on a map that some guy made up. That Jesus, that guy's Jesus. I was just going to say, that's Jesus Christ made that up. That's a guy. That's a little disrespectful.

That's a little disrespectful. What are you working for, Islam now? Yeah. Wow, we're going to have to cackle this whole episode. That Jesus and his mother, they made up. It was basically an arts and crafts project with Mary, Mother Jesus, and Jesus made up America. Now you're talking.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before you were fucking playing around. Now you're getting serious. Yeah. That's why. You paid attention in history class.

Absolutely. Because you know. Yeah. Because I fucking know. So it's not that I want the actual war, but it's like you can't just have everybody coming out. You just want the Chinese out. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. And that's basically what I want. What about the Japanese it's like you can't just have everybody coming over. You just want the Chinese out. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah, and that's basically what I want. What about the Japanese and the Koreans? All I'm trying to say is I – Way so cheap. I'm sorry.

That's a cackle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Way so cheap. That's a cackle. Way so cheap. I think, don't your fans know that everything on here is fucking around and having a good time? They do, but once in a while – What, new listeners freak out?

No. Nobody's actually ever said one bad thing about someone. Not once in a fucking comedy podcast. It's a character piece. I'm just kidding around. Yeah, he's just joking. Some of this stuff is true, though. Yeah, yeah.

Some of this stuff is true. It ain't all a lie, guys. He's really gay. Yeah. No, no, that is true, though. No, I don't want the wall, but I just, you know, I'm all for tight immigrant- It's like, I'm a gray area kid. I don't want the wall.

I think that's ridiculous. But I think it should be a maze. I think they should have... Yeah. Yeah, I think it should be a lot harder to come get to. How smart do you... Yeah, you got to be smart enough to get in here. Yeah.

Is that a bit of yours? No. Because you just wait. Thank you for giving it. Giannis is going to take it. No. Yeah, don't take that. Giannis, he's got no bits left.

Yeah, I got... I'm out. I blew them all on a special that's not doing that good. Yeah, he blew them all to fucking get promoted. It's Aaron Schultz's YouTube. He didn't no bits left. Yeah, I got... I'm out. I blew them all on a special that's not doing that good. Yeah, he blew them all to fucking get promoted. It's Aaron Schultz's YouTube. He didn't even post it. People do watch it.

People talk about it in Los Angeles. Yeah, but it's not getting a lot of views. Yeah, but it will. It's trying. You know what I mean? I think like... Can I comment on your podcast and promote it?

Yes, yes. No, his podcast is huge. When I did West Virginia Ginger, I got a lot of followers. Honestly, people do talk about it. So I know you say that, but that's not true. In a moment of seriousness, it's very funny, first of all. Thank you, man.

And people in L.A. know about it and like it. So I think – I know that's just a comedy community thing, but it'll keep growing. Once people wake the fuck up to real comedy, they'll watch it. Do people in L.A. know about our podcast? Yeah, of course. I mean, people that I know know. Guys that are like in our – you know, in the circles. They know. Oh, yeah, yeah, they know. They know. That's good. That's good. But they know mostly because of course. I mean, people that I know know. Guys that are like in our, you know, in the circles. They're certain little circles.

Oh, yeah, yeah, they know. They know. That's good. That's good. But they know mostly because of Jan. Yeah. They don't really know. That's what it is.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chrissy D gets no love in LA. Most people out there say they can't stand you. Absolutely. And you know what it is? Yeah. Tattoo.

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Tattoo. Tattoo. That Catholic scribe you got there. It's my, yeah, it's my. That scroll. They don't like that scroll.

Yeah, I know. It's what it is but you're an out of borough kid but no thank you for giving that great joke to our podcast yeah you're welcome you're welcome i was always like that would be a clip it's too good for our podcast you guys burned you guys burn your own material on here ever yeah you know there's guys that do that all the time and then they get fucked on stage and then people tell them that they like i heard you do that on your podcast it's like well fitzsimmons does it and he'll tell you he does it because greg will do it on the show and then do it live and i heard a girl go i've heard him do this on

this podcast but the thing is like what we're doing now is more important than the stand-up like in 2019 like a podcast this is a part of it i think this is all a part of it this is a big it's it's all this big uh it's this big you know it's it's all it's another element to it that's all this is we're shooting in the gym right it's someone watching it's training and it's another element to it. That's all. We're shooting in the gym. It's someone watching. It's training. And it's like, you know, a lot, at least in New York, like some comedians will sit and like commiserate about like, oh, so-and-so's podcast is huge, but they suck doing stand-up.

It's like it's a different thing. Somebody can be a great podcast comedian, not great at stand-up, and vice versa. It's like there's a different aspects of comedy. Who's the best stand-up that's a bad podcaster? The best stand-up that's a bad podcaster? On other people's podcasts? Anything at all, just in general. Because I know he's got one in his head. Burr's great on

his own podcast, but when he goes on other podcasts, sometimes he shuts down. First of all, he shuts them down. I mean, you watch Theo Vaughn and Oh yeah. We weren't allowed to talk about that when he was a guest here. What is it? H3. That's his name, yeah.

He ate him alive. We weren't allowed to talk about that when he was a guest here. That H3 dude? Huh? What is it? H3. H3. That's his name. Yeah. Oh my God. He went on like antidepressants. He ate him alive. Yeah, dude. He had to go to another. He had a therapist. He had to go to a separate therapist. No. The fucking.

What's his name, dude? You said it. I don't know his actual name. It's called H3. It's like one of the most popular podcasts in the world. It's this guy and his wife or whatever. Yeah. And Burr went on there and he fucked.

Burr murdered this guy. And it was hilarious though? Well, here's this kid because his mannerisms are like this. You got to watch it, dude. You should put up a clip or something for your guests to watch because he does this. He does like, here, you're Burr. Do Burr to me and I'll go. So like watch.

Like watch. Like I'm Burr. Like yeah, you fucking nice sweater, dude. Yeah. Well, what are your thoughts about – well, okay. Do you think comedy is getting a, is getting a little scary now. You're brutal. All right.

You're just brutal. Well, are you, are you, dude, you're brutal. Um, huh? Yeah. All right. What are you? His face manner, he gets nervous. He gets these ticks.

And so, so he fucked him up. He shut down. Burr shut him down like every turn. It was like. But was Burr just being funny, being Burr? Sometimes Bill is also being like. I think Bill still has the generation above us thing where he goes, you didn't study, huh?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our generation doesn't really do it. But the older guys still are like, you didn't study up? Yeah. You didn't study up? Yeah, you don't ask me dumb questions. Yeah, you're a moron he's not but i agree with it it's like it's fucking we don't do that though our generation just doesn't really have that tick

do you know what i mean like so it's just a different thing yeah yeah it's his class but he's not wrong that's the thing burr was right when he says stuff like why wouldn't you why wouldn't you know i don't want to talk about that or why wouldn't you know we have to watch this i got it's hard to see you see them talking to each other they had like a little therapy uh-huh uh-huh theo had the h3 guy on his podcast to talk about how much it hurt him theo too oh my god people are such pussies it's like unbelievable guy well so you know what i gotta go to therapy as a challenge i want burr to come on mine just because i want those interactions well dude but i know I can handle him.

I just think it's like you just have to brush it off. He came on our podcast and he was fantastic. I saw it. The first minute he told me that my fucking chain looked like a fat girl's ankle bracelet.

And it does. Yeah, yeah. Well, it broke. I know. I actually broke it. Because you got too thick in the neck, baby. Yeah, yeah.

You got too swollen. Are you doing a lot of these? Do I look... Do you do a lot of crunches? What do I... Do I look jacked? Well, you lost... Your double chin is gone.

Yeah. Because you had it for a long... You kept it for a long time. I'm i did your potty i think i still had a dc right you're a little thick yeah you're a little rolly rolly you like that though you fuck i love it you look like an airplane pillow you know those airplane pillow look like you always had it now i look more in shape you look beautiful now yeah you look you look in the best shape that i've ever seen you in you have a wife or what do you want to do i have a wife but that doesn't mean I can't fuck you. I'm in New York, baby. Come on down to the Grand Soho Hotel. Come pump me out.

10-26, baby. Come on in. That's a fucking nice hotel, guy. That's not where I'm staying. You think I'm going to tell these guys where I'm staying? Is that where he stays? I thought I saw him walk out of there once, but it could have been.

I don't fuck with him. How much does Dave smoke? Wait, can you smoke inside the bars here? No, no. Why do they smoke at the stand? They smoke at the stand. Do whatever you want in there. They smoke inside the stand?

Yeah, they were smoking inside the stand. Who was? Well, they're smoking weed, but they were. But still. Were you there last night? Two nights ago. But they were smoking in there. Big J and those guys when I went.

They'll do it on stage. Yeah. But what? You're allowed to do that shit? They'll just do it. Oh, you can't. Wait, no. You get fucked. You get fucked for that. There's a loophole. They're smoking it on stage. Yeah, well what you're allowed to do that shit They'll just do it. Oh, you can't wait. No, they're fucked you get fucked for that There's a loophole weed on stage smoking weed, but even still there's a loophole on stage

You can smoke for men for a character piece, right? So it's like really there's a loophole on stage I Chappelle smokes everywhere. I see smoke when he goes like the cellar. He smoked on there. He'll smoke with the olive tree Yeah, yeah smoke Like in other words, it's actually illegal to. It is illegal. Okay. There's a loophole in Chicago, whether or not this is a real rumor. People do it anyway.

If the guy owns the bar, if you physically own the building, you can allow smoking. If you are the owner and the proprietor of the bar, you can smoke in there. Because there's still a couple of sneaky neighborhood bars that still get away. Yeah. And who are the fucking sneaks? Right? You know. Exactly.

I know exactly who they are because I got to pay child support. Character piece. How much are you paying in child support? Jesus Christ. Is it clipping you? Yeah, it's fucking brutal. I mean, you know, now I got to go to the House of Comedy to fucking make bullshit. Hey, hey, hey, you're going to make good money there. People in Minnesota

are going to come out and see you. I'm going to sell t-shirts. That's what kind of fucking... Tickets and t-shirts, baby. That's what kind of finook I am. You know, Carlin used to have T-shirts, too. Carlin sold hats, beanies, T-shirts, bracelets, shoes. He had his own shoes. Carlin shoes. George Carlin would sell merch after shows?

Really? Asics used to sponsor Carlin. George Carlin sold merch. He had shoes. I had no idea. He had socks. He had cool sunglasses. You know those sunglasses that go dark to light?

Yeah. He had those, too. Did you ever see him live? Carlin Shades? Carlin or when you were a kid? No, I wouldn't see that fucking hack live. Fucking hack. Yeah, no, man. I'm about to fuck your hand against me.

That would be funny if he sold like Bibles and you open them. It just had like one note that said, this is all bullshit. Yeah. And it's his voice. Like when you open those cards. It's all bullshit. It's bullshit. What I love so much about him.

I never got to see him. I'm sad I never got to see him. George Carlin is like, i remember like one special was like back to back he did like a 10 minute bit on like how hiv is taking back the planet and like the aids crisis and then like literally 30 seconds later like after the thunderous applause he went right into a dog fart joke yeah perfect like right away just he was the only guy that got away with that stuff that got to be like prolific and then also be just like a comic comic again? You got to talk about penises and stuff?

Yeah. No, who does that today? Who could get away with that? Attell? Well, Nate Bargatze is on the Mount Rushmore. Who is Nate Bargatze? You keep bringing him up. Who is he?

You know, his little sister came to see me when I was in Nashville. Whoa. I ate shit, though. I had a knot. It was my worst show of the shows. I was bummed. He's like, my little sister's a fan. She's going to come see you.

He texted me, and I texted him back. I said, I didn't have a good show. He goes, yeah, she told me. I said, yeah, no, I didn't. Wow. Nate, I would have fucking lied. It was the worst of my shows. I just knew.

You know what I mean? At Zany's, were you? Yeah, Zany's. It was great. I still had a good time, but the rhythm was not as good. Some nights, you have rhythms where you're like, I was just in the groove for an hour, and then sometimes you're like, yeah, I fell in and out. in july i was in zany's in july and same thing it was it was first first of all i love zany's because they all at least me they only made me do one show a night which well

they don't want you to do anymore yeah exactly i can't sell the fucking tickets down there because you know because down nashville yeah down south i'm a comedian no they like you no i sold the ticket so i didn't sell out but it was good But anyway, one of the shows I was having, I thought a decent show, and then I started getting heckled by Brooke Hogan, Hulk Hogan's daughter. Shut the fuck up. Really? And I was like, what am I fucking supposed to do now? You're a perfect match for her, though.

Well, she was with her boyfriend, but yeah. That's not. She came for you. Yeah. Her boyfriend wasn't a fan. No. No, she was a fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She saw your size. She liked your arms. She liked that. And I saw the double chin back then. She liked that. She wanted a little thick. Yeah. A little thick. Yeah, a little thick. She saw your size. She liked your arms. She liked it. And I saw the double chin back then. She liked that. She wanted a little thick. Yeah. A little thick.

Yeah, a little thick. I'm thick. T-H-I-C-C. How many times have you gone from thick to skinny? It's like a constant battle. I've been able to keep a decent amount of weight off now for like over six months. So this has been the longest since. What's the change?

Are you doing the dunk? I just box. I box like every day. Like this morning, like I just. You day, like this morning. Like I just, you wake up and do it. Like I fell in love. Basketball was my whole life. Like before comedy was like,

everything I did was to play ball. And now I've just replaced basketball with boxing. So I'm not going to competitively fight, but like, I look forward to it and challenge myself. Do you spar with people? Um, a little bit.

Do you bring Giannis? Giannis came once, came twice. Yeah. Well, no, once, one time. Yeah. You've been skinny your whole life though. You've been a normal size. No, I've been back and forth. with people um a little bit do you bring yannis yannis came once came twice yeah well no once one time yeah one time you've been skinny your whole life though you've been a normal size no i've been back and forth i mean really yeah i mean i was an athlete and then after that it just you know once i fractured my foot i was never in shape after that you fractured the foot just from being fat yeah once my metabolism slowed down i just fractured a foot you broke your foot i literally

have the worst knee pain of my entire life. Like I could barely even box today. Like it's swollen and I'm worried like there's something torn in my knee from standing still at the 1975 concert. That's what a pussy I am. That's dad status. I just stood there. My back hurts. Yeah. My back and my knee

were killing me. All I did was stand and watch the band. Yeah, that's what happened. How old are you now? I'm 35 years old. Wait till you hit 36, man. It all goes downhill. Are you 36? 36.

Wow, dude. Just turned 36. Fucking I'm a cougar. Closer to 40. How old are you? 44. What? Yeah.

God damn, those Mediterranean's. What do they do? I know. Drink baby blood? Eat feta crumble and fuck guys. God, that's awesome, man. That's actually, yeah. That's deep.

Feta fish fellas. Everyone's like Mediterranean diet. F's awesome, man. That's actually, yeah. That's cheap. Fetish fellas. Everyone's like Mediterranean diet. Fetish and fellas. That's what they do. Yeah, fetish fellas. That's hot, dude. That's hot as fuck that you guys stay up. Triple FF.

Yeah. Triple FF. Well, in FF, we call people FFs on this podcast, which means fat fuck, but we'll tell you what it means after the show. It doesn't mean fat fuck. I know what it means. Second word ends in a T. Character piece.

It means flexible framework. Ask my coach. Yeah. Flexible framework. Ask my coach. Yeah. Flexible framework. Flexible framework. Yo, you said you want to talk about refrigerators? I want to talk about – she said, what's the history that you're interested in? I said, refrigeration.

Hot. Hot topic. It's actually a really interesting topic. It is actually. Well, first he wanted to talk about prohibition and Capone, but we just spoke about it. You know why? I saw you just spoke about it. I went back and I was like, I wanted to – well, because i wanted to correct some of the bullshit that you guys talked are you gonna wear

you're gonna wear the t-shirt on your potty waddy 100 thanks bull 100 i'm gonna wear it i mean you know what i'm gonna wear it when does this come out this will come out when does it come out my who knows patreon next week okay on our patreon next week and then went on itunes uh we have a couple we're backed up on but whenever whatever yeah we'll figure it out whatever you tell i was gonna say i was gonna i'll wear it when i do shows this weekend but i'm not gonna wear it if we can't plug this bullshit you know what i mean i'm not gonna wear it i'm gonna wear it on stage at the comedy store big time i'll promote it there okay okay just make a video of you using it to clean your garage yeah just that'll be funny which one hey guys which one my front garage or my back garage yeah yeah i gotta take

a call hello yeah we'll make hollywood hello Hollywood so do you know history of refrigeration I know a little bit about it oh the reason side note that I said that I said prohibition is because I watched that Ken Burns documentary

and it fucking soaked me in which one the one on Netflix about called prohibition I watched it like six times I was obsessed it's a three parter I gotta see that

you guys didn't see that and you talk about it that's why I'm watching the second installment of World War II in color greatest events so I'm re-watching that you gotta watch this't see that? And you're talking about it? I'm watching the second installment of World War II and Color Greatest Events. So I'm re-watching that. You got to watch this. It's a three-parter.

Have you seen it? Oh, my God. It's fucking phenomenal. But it goes into the great depths of the real gangsters of Prohibition. Like more than Al Capone. The lie that is Al Capone. Al Capone's a lie. As a Chicago guy, I was taught a lie.

I didn't know. And what can you explain? He's a phony. He's a phony. All the Kansas City gangsters, they love that Al capone loved the media they let that guy bury himself they were like good let this fucking interest every time this jocko leaves a jail cell they took photos of him and he would pose there were ways for them to not get photos taken it's not like today where they like always know where you are you know it's because you're fucking tweeting

about it capone would be open about he would tell the press and the media what time he was going to like go in and get out because he wanted pictures in the paper to make his rep grow. Wow. And it did help his rep because it's front page of the Chicago Tribune. He's the biggest celebrity gangster. So that's exactly what he was. He was a Kardashian gangster. He was a phony.

So the gangster from Kansas City, they talked shit about him. And the trade that was coming through Kansas City and New York, they let him be the face. None of these guys wanted the fame. Took the heat off them. Yes, it was genius. And were they stronger than him and had more muscle than him anyway? 100%.

Capone wasn't as tough as the guys that were helping Capone stay on top. Yeah, because Capone was from, he was an import from New York. He wasn't even from Chicago. He wasn't a Chicago kid anyway. But he was kind of like a chess piece. He was like a pawn, really. I never knew that. Where did you learn that?

Just from the documentary? Yeah, but then i started reading about him online i just get because i was like this sounds like it's a very angled documentary i was like this sounds like this is their point of view like they want you to believe that right so then i went online and i did as much research as i could find about what who was really who were the top dog crime organizers that were uh putting him in position and they kept him in power only so they didn't have to be the face. It was just like, remember in Casino? Remember in fucking Casino

when they're talking about that fat moron in the Italian deli that leaked to his mother? That's basically like their Capone setup. You know what I mean? Like, in the idea that they just had a plug, and he was the guy that was just like, oh, this moron, we'll just keep him happy and fat and happy, and he won't give a shit.

We'll plug money through him. He gets to do whatever he wants and run Chicago, but we'll put everything from New York and Kansas City, and we won't have to deal with it. So half of those guys fucking, I mean, they ended up all dying anyway, but he was the one that took everything. Was he like their hired muscle because he ended up killing all those? He killed Moran. What was the other guy he killed?

Yeah, Bugs Moran. But he ended up up but the thing was I wouldn't hired Mosul he was still a boss but just the same way that all these bosses they work in conjunction

with one another but half of them he hate each other they all wanted each other dead anyway so they were like let this fucking Jagoff kill everyone in Chicago

that way we don't have to worry about when we're making movements we can fly under the radar he's different than John Gotti in the sense that John Gotti allegedly I don't know anybody that knows him but John Gotti was truly like a feared guy and like

the boss boss like because he was a bad dude he was in the limelight and all that but he still would kill you and nobody would fuck with him right like you're saying like they could have at any point killed capone easy and capone was probably scared of them 100 where gotti i don't think was scared of anybody no capone was probably scared of the guys that he worked with but he also just had a he was reckless they just find the. Capone was probably scared of the guys that he worked with. But he also just had a... He was reckless. They just find the most reckless guy that doesn't give a shit, that will kill and have people killed at free will, and they put them in positions of power.

Because they're like, well, this Bozo, his timeline is nothing. He doesn't give a shit. He could be dead tomorrow and no one would care. So they're like, I don't want to stay alive. I have families. This guy's out there getting syphilis from hookers. Yeah. And then, you know, dying in prison because he doesn't believe in penicillin.

Yeah. Can you believe that this guy? Ben Franklin got his syphilis too. Stupid. Who? Ben Franklin. Syphilis from hookers. Yeah. And then, you know, dying in prison because he doesn't believe in penicillin. Yeah. Can you believe that this guy? Who? Ben Franklin. Syphilis guy. Got him. But he lived to an old age. He lived to an old age,

but he banged everybody's fucking, he was banging grandmas. Was he? In France. Yeah, died of syphilis. A lot of famous people died of syphilis.

A lot of famous people, almost the- They didn't have Tylenol back then to fix it. One of the most, bro, STDs, we're going to do, I know, well, no, not Tylenol, syphilis. You have a weird obsession famous people almost they didn't have tylenol back then to fix it well one of the most bro stds we're gonna do i know well no not tylenol for syphilis you have a weird obsession with stds because you're i think you're always afraid that you're gonna get oh no he gets a guy he's he's

well acquainted nobody told me you got him now well i've had him i got him from him no i got chlamydia once i i'm at i can't believe i don't have any stds i may have one brewing who knows you caught one steaming up down there. Steaming. What happens at Chlamydia? Come on, guy. You got a tab at the pharmacy. Yeah, I got a tab. You go and you walk right back to the back.

You're like, put that on my tab. Give me my antibiotics. Yeah, they just go, Chris, hey. They go, hey, Chris, hook shot. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. In your bag.

Which ones? Which ones? I just had Chlamydia once. You got a shot in the butt? I had Chlamydia about six, seven years ago. I woke up. Um, it was one of those things like I would always be obsessing. Oh, I have an STD. I have an STD. And it's like, it never did. And then one day I woke up and I was like, I just said, Oh fuck. Like it was one of those, like my anxiety actually went to very, very normal levels

because it was like, it was like, Oh, I know I have it. Like my dick was like dripping. And I was like, it didn't even hurt. It just kept dripping. So my best friend, my daughter's godfather, is an emergency room doctor. Shout out Lukasz. Yeah, shout out Lukasz. Shout out Lukasz, a.k.a. Dachau Face.

Yeah. We'll send you a picture of him. He looks like he was just liberated from a concentration camp. Yeah. He's got the type of look, like, unfortunately, Polish, that Polish, really Polish, Eastern European, Slavic look was just the look that, the Germans like I'm going to roll over these people with tanks and they can't stop us. Right. And it's a brutal look, but it is.

I get it. So I don't get it. But I got it. I got it. Yeah. Sorry. I mean, I get it. Meaning chlamydia.

You're not 100 percent German, right? I'm 40. The newest results just came in from my ancestry.com. I'm like 40% Germanic, it says. Wow. No, but then the other ones are English. It's like all English. But the stuff I know is what?

It's Italian, but that's the lowest that I have. It's like 6%. Greek is like 5%. You're 100%. Yeah. No, it's 25% Turkish. The DNA is 25% Turkish. The DNA is 25% Turkish.

But do you believe any of that? That's rape. See, I don't believe any of that stuff. You don't believe it? You're 100%. Thank you. You're 100%. What are you? 50-50.

Italian and Irish. Can't get away from it. That's a real Chicago or New York. Couldn't be any more Chicago. Actually, that's what's funny. I think it's New York too, but people from around the country don't understand it at all.

But you being half Italian, half Irish from Chicago, does your family just assume you're gay because you're not a cop or a fireman? My family assumes I'm gay just because you come out and fag. My family assumes I'm gay because I bring my husband to Thanksgiving. But you don't kiss him at the dinner table. You're a liar. You're not invited to Thanksgiving. Yeah, that's right.

I've said so much wild shit on this podcast that my family has uninvited me to Thanksgiving. How did your family hear this? They listen to this? Well, they listen to it. Well, you know, fans or whatever sent it to people I know. That's very supportive.

And I've tried like in the family group chat being like, Latter 14, Wei Shan Qian and they're like, you're not invited. Yeah. No, we've created a monster

that we get sent people like saying to their girlfriends videos of people going like, hey, I fucked your sister and they're like, what? And they're like, Latter 14. It's a character piece.

Yeah, it's like they're ruining their lives so we can repost it. It's a character piece. Hey, it's like they're ruining their lives so we can repulse them. It's a character piece. Hey, it's worth it. It's worth it. It's all worth it. It's worth it for the country.

So you don't get invited to Thanksgiving anymore? No. Well, no, no, just this year. Well, no, I'm going to Thanksgiving this year, but my family- Do Greeks do Thanksgiving? Yeah. They do? Yeah.

Why? Wow, you don't know any Greeks? I know a couple of Greeks, but I try to stay away from those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're too hairy, right? Clouded elements element too many letters you know what I mean like I don't like that Greeks and Russians have the same thing for me you know

I just uh yeah the lettering the wording the people themselves just foreign just foreign foreign well foreign whites get the foreign foreign whites I don't like yeah if you're gonna be foreign be something else be funky and fun you know look at that tinge look at that color look at that melanin in his skin yeah I like something funky and unique foreign whites scare me you know? Look at that tinge. Look at that color. Look at that melanin in his skin. Yeah, I like something funky and unique.

Foreign whites scare me, you know? Yeah, like I want to meet They're the old versions of us. We're the new. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the air monarchs of Nikes. They really are, yeah.

We're the new Nikes. We're the new Nikes. They're the throwbacks. And people like them a little bit, but I'm not going to wear that around now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won't catch me fucking dead with this motherfucker.

No, no, no. No way. This is where it starts and ends. Yeah. And you, Hitler youth, I'll be anywhere with you just because I know I got protection. Yeah, we're fucking. You're foolish. You is where it starts and ends. And you, Hitler youth, I'll be anywhere with you just because I know I got protection. You'll run right into the fire. I'm the ubermensch, that's the untermensch.

It's wild. I'm learning too much German. Unfortunately. I was just going to say, you're a little too versed in it. I'm learning German. I mean, we were talking about Pervitin, which is the drug that the Nazis used to take to be like these massive fighting machines. It was speed, right?

It was just speed. It was like crystal meth. Yeah. The equivalent of crystal meth. And they would call it tank chocolate. Tank chocolate? Tank chocolate. That's what?

Because they put cocoa powder in it or something and they drank it? Yeah. That's awesome. Is that how they did it? They put it in? What? Why did they call it tank chocolate? Because they would give it.

It was in little chocolate bars like an edible and they would give it. But they had cocoa powder in them because they were using cocaine they would use cocaine they would do all that all that and then and then actually the pervitin they started giving pervitin to the japanese when they would do the kamikaze i heard about that they would black out and they wouldn't know what they were doing blackout apparently they would fly and and lose complete consciousness when they were doing it so a lot of times most of those planes didn't hit anything you know that no yeah they would just hit the water they missed all the time they would just black out and just crash so the guys that made it were just good accidents it was just happy

accidents we gotta do we'll do a whole episode about about i learned so much more about like the true beginnings of like why japan declared war in america and like what the battle because you're the greatest country on earth that's what happens um and just like how just like how sheer luck wins wars in the sense of things happen with like battleships not being there and then we're talking about stds like that's what i was getting to before like stds that's like a common thing like in in almost any genre any time period an std had something to do with why somebody won or didn't win a shut up in dunkirk we just did the Battle of Dunkirk.

The entire British and French army were all suffering from like rampant chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea from the whorehouses where Nazi Germany did not allow brothels. That's one good thing they did. No prostitutes. They respect women. So, so, so. Not women and children if you're Jewish, but their own kind. Right.

I get it. So they wouldn't allow. So they had no STDs. And then I was reading this book on the Crusades when the Christian Christian Crusaders started entering like Damascus area to like fight the Seljuk Turks. Yeah. Muslims. They were having sex with the Muslim women and there were like new diseases that they were getting sexually from them just because of like things that like maybe like Muslim men were even immune to and vice versa. Well, actually, no, it was just Christians to Muslims because Muslims wouldn't touch.

The Muslims wouldn't touch a Christian woman because of like their religion and they think they were just grossed out by them. But Christian were fucking the Muslim women left and right. Many battles were like rampant STDs. Syphilis, if untreated syphilis begins to crawl, how you die from it is you- Crawls up to your brain. Crawls up to your spine. And then it eats, as it's crawling up,

it takes little bites of organs and then eventually eats your brain. That's why- It's like a hungry hippo. Like a little Pac-Man in your body. It's not exclusive, but any emperor, any emperor in ancient times that like all of a sudden starts to go mad,

most historians are like, they probably had syphilis. That is the most – that's the most plausible – That's the most plausible reason of the shutdown of society? Yeah. No, why? Like when King Henry went mad or when Nero goes mad, when they just start to lose their minds at the end of their life, it's usually syphilis. I think inbreeding had a little bit to do with it as well. Inbreeding too.

That's why all my Irish ancestors didn't have to deal with I think inbreeding had a little bit to do with it. Inbreeding too. That's why all my Irish ancestors didn't have to deal with it. Yeah, the Irish didn't have to deal with it. A sad, lonely island. Nobody got there. No. No one cares.

That's it. Yeah, but the Vikings came and went so fast it didn't really matter. Yeah, the Romans, they fucked around for a little bit. But for the most part,

the Irish, it's not a conquerable island. It doesn't really matter. There's no resources there. Fucking potatoes wipe them out. Should we go back? Should me and you go on a fucking tour

and we'll just call it the Axis Comedy Tour honestly I would love it honestly I would love it I'm working on I'm showing a few new puppets for my act so I've got

yeah these guys are gonna be puppets he's a puppet I got the 1975's light shows from my background yeah

yeah I can't wait to Jeff Dunham he's still putting out specials by the way I saw a billboard for it and I said it's what we asked for that's still putting out specials by the way I saw a billboard for it and I said it's what we asked for that's what we asked for

he fucking he lights it on fire he's a good ventriloquist who murders he's good yeah I mean the middle are you guys allowed to talk shit

about comedy specials on here you guys oh yeah we fucking ripped you know what I said you know what I said the first thing is so mean but like

I like the guy all that shit but I said i saw seth meyers put out a comedy special i didn't even know he did stand-up and i'm being genuine i had no idea i didn't do it in the city no no no no but i mean you know he does i didn't see the special but i would assume it's like his i didn't see it i didn't see it i would it just made me laugh a little bit because i was like jenny slate has a comedy special it doesn't mean anything anymore yeah no and these are funny people i'm not yeah hating on them but it's like yeah stand-up is

kind of like a suggestion now. It's like, do what you want. Like, read off your note card. Just like. Like, as soon as you start to get followers, you just do stand-up. It's fishing. It's fishing to me, right? Like, anybody is allowed to go fish.

It's very easy to do. You just fucking go do it. Yeah. But like, there are some people that professionally fish. You know how mad it must make them when someone's like, I fish. They're like, well, you know, I fish. Right. Okay, I fucking fish.

What kind of boat do you have? What kind of rod do you have? And they're like, I don't know. I fucking i fucking fish but even that boat you have what kind of rod you have and they're like i don't know i fucking bought it from target 16 bucks actually they gave me the boat really yeah they asked me if i wanted a big boat and they just gave me the fucking boat yeah yeah i went out on the boat and i did it and turns out people kind of like my boat a little bit how's your boat oh you haven't had a new boat how come netflix doesn't want to give you a boat i don't know i don't know i'm asking for a boat right exactly at netflix at fucking netflix i know anyone can do it nowadays yeah it is funny i know and people get rewarded for it too it's not just like everyone can do it like they're actually getting rewarded

big time yeah make real money and the thing is you know people used to say oh well people they don't come back if you're not funny people won't come back and buy tickets. And while I believe that is true, it's also like I've seen so many comedians that have huge followings, right? Not do well on stage. But then you look at their Instagram. The pictures they repost are just their fans saying how hilarious they were because it's become so insulated now. And it's like almost like a culture and it's a cult following. Like people who have the cult followings, we know they're not funny. But it's like who gives a fuck about what we think as yeah our back stand up is our backbone but it's like

that's all subjective to us nobody cares because whoever went to go pay money to see whatever shit comedian that just has a big following on youtube they actually loved what they did on stage and they will think they're funny and they will come back well so i'm okay with that there's a part of me that's okay with that so so my whole philosophy now as i've gotten older is i don't care as long as you are you as long as you really do stick to your thing like if you're gonna do it go ahead and do it like right if you're gonna be the youtube guy that does the thing and does the stand-up tour and you want to do your tour with your thing okay fine that's fine but don't that can't be this pretend of like that they're in the same class right that's all that's fine it's gotta

it's gotta exist i understand i understand exactly there's nothing you could do about it so i've gotten over the fact of being annoyed about those things you know like there's you know there's a bunch of people where i'm like oh i didn't even know those guys did stand up but it's gonna happen you just have to like let it you we have to let it be as long as they people know it as long as like i think comedy fans know that there's a big difference. I like this era because this era is the freest for funny people. Funny people empower other funny people now. In fact, yeah, that's true. It used to be like you have to go to a non-funny person to get exposure or platform.

Now funny people are going to each other and going, hey, I think you're funny. Come on my thing. Hey, I think you're funny. Come on my thing. Right. And it's like people who are funny are empowering other people. Yeah, no, that's true. It never used to be that.

Well, New York has finally caught up. You guys for a long time were like fucking battling each other for no reason. Brutal. Stupid. Even still, last night I go to the cellar, it always still feels a little bit like it's you versus me versus them versus you. It's stupid. It's real stupid.

Why is it like that there? Because we're – I think it's conquer divide. I think LA, part of the ethos in LA has always been like, hey, man, it's a little more laid back. Yeah. And here in New York, it's just that cutthroat kind of ethos. But don't you realize after all this time that that doesn't make sense? There's so much more cake than people realize. Everyone's going to eat.

You'll still find comedians to this day be like, oh, yeah, you'll say something like, oh, LA Comics, they're crushing the game. I mean, those guys are they're crushing the game. I mean, those guys are selling by far the most tickets. If it's between LA and New York, LA, not even close. They sell so many more tickets than bigger comedians. They're like, yeah, but they're not funny. It's like, are you still doing that? Yeah.

What do you mean they're not funny? Yeah, yeah. It's like, how would they be selling tickets if they're not funny? Is Shiguro not a funny guy? One of the best. What am I missing here? When people say that, I'm always like, what am I missing that you don't think? Who do you think is not funny? That's what I'm saying.

I can't think of one person who's started as a stand stand-up who's like one of us, I guess, that has a huge podcast that actually isn't funny on stage. They're all funny. I don't know anybody that isn't funny. The only people that aren't funny don't sell tickets. But if you're selling tickets in our scene, there's a pretty good fucking chance you're funny. I just feel like that's an old adage of this weird, like, you have to be classed up, but LA doesn't do that anymore. LA kind of just is like,

if you're funny, you're funny, it'll figure itself out. And out here, again, like at the Cellar, I show up, I see a couple guys that I'm familiar with, you know, and say hi to people I haven't seen in a long time, and there's this table, and that table, and that table. You can see how people are kind of divisive over where they sit. Well, that's because it's very weird. It's very weird. We don't do that at all.'s from the top down it's like that's it's like uh

the marines down there or something they break it they break down you know break down your confidence and then build it back up and like they make you feel like you working there yeah is like an achievement where that's a far-gone era that era like if you're there you're probably not doing that good because you're there you know what i mean is that what it's like if you're there if you're well if you're there i mean you know if you're there every night if you're there every you're not doing great it's like a good sign if if like you know you're coming in like like it's almost like now if somebody there because i love and respect that club uh you know and it's a lot of stage opportunity and and you know on the weekends if she booked if you get booked if you can do like six shows Friday, six Saturday, like you make you make about the same money in your pocket that you would make on like a normal weekend after you pay out managers, agents and taxes and all that shit.

So it's OK. But any time I come back and one of the staff is like, oh, where have you been? I feel good about that because I'm like, oh, I've been working. Yeah. Yeah. Then they know they don't say because if they start saying, oh, I see you every day, it's like I'm not working. I'm not – I mean it's good. Like if I said, you know what? I want to take a month. I just want to be in New York. I'll go in and out of the cellar, of course, or the stand, of course.

But it's like if that's all you got is the cellar, that's a problem. That's a big issue. Or any club. Or any club, yeah. To any club. But, but, but, but the honestest point to any club, but there's this thing in comedy, like, and I think it does come from the older guys where they think it's a good thing to be at the cellar all the time. And it's like, you know, you don't understand that it's not right.

I'm not shitting on the club, but it's just you. They are using us right to sell, to sell tickets for them and all that, where we want to be in a position where not that we use them, but it's like, you know, Dave Chappelle just drops in. Chris Rock just drops in. These people just drop in, which is great. That's what we want to be in a position where not that we use them but it's like you know dave chapelle just drops in chris rock just drops in these people just drop in which is great that's what you want to be you want to just drop you don't want to be like i'm here every fucking night or else i have nothing yeah that's a little scary you don't want that but a lot of people are blind to thinking about that they're like oh they're blind they'll sit and commiserate about oh can you believe so-and-so got passed at the comedy so it's like who cares who got in right that made

that's the old that's the old way of like can you believe that xyz isso got passed at the comedy solo? It's like, who cares who got in? Right, that's the old way of like, can you believe that XYZ is doing the thing? That's an old New York thing that holds on to. LA doesn't give a fuck. It's also this thing like, they take themselves so seriously in there. They don't realize that they're just employees. They're going like, look at that guy over there,

you know, selling out. Yeah, but look at the bullshit he's doing. It's like, I'm over here working for 75 bucks deal and the guy who's making 400 million dollars yeah because he you know he fucking moves around a lot when he talks he doesn't lean up against the wall and act like he's too cool for school all right he's shit and you're going what the fuck are you talking about I don't know you're not even making as much money as the waitstaff here tonight.

They're killing it, by the way. Oh, they make way more money than all of us. You think they're going to hang your stand-up in the MoMA? What are you talking about? This isn't a fucking art. We're fucking – We're clowns. We're clowns, kid.

What are you fucking talking about? Dan Soder has a great bit on his HBO special. I saw it live where he was like, yeah, any of my peers that call themselves artists, he's like, I unfollow all of them. He's like, we perform in places that were originally designed for laser tag. And it's hilarious. And he's so right. That's so good. It was epic.

I hope it makes like the trailer. Because it's real. It's real. Soder's a fucking real guy. We have to have fun. And you have to want to try to say something on stage sometimes, whether it's actually like something you believe or just something that you think is fun to talk about. But at the end of the day day that's all we're fucking we're just we're good somebody said somebody goes uh i don't want to misquote whoever whatever it was but

whoever comic it was but they go yeah i mean i just got like i got sick of seeing my heroes in new york take like two buses and a train to get somewhere like that i admired and they go and rogan's taking spaceships to get yeah yeah that sounds like something tim dillon would say yeah well it was tim i don't want to quote anything Tim Dillon is fucking saying. I know, right? No, Tim Dillon. No, but it's true. Did you get into this business to not make a lot of money and just kind of sit around?

Or to not make any money. The goal is never to be like, I'm going to be the richest comedian I can. First of all, that's an insane statement. The goal is really I want to make a good career and a living doing a comedian. It's not like, oh, what do you just want to get rich? I just want to make a good career and a living doing being a comedian it's not like oh what do you just want to get rich like i just want to make a great live i just want you know how like people that work regular jobs want to make a fucking great living that's why

they keep taking new jobs and moving up at a company yeah exact same fucking thing nobody wants to be a secretary their whole life yeah i mean shout out to secretaries out there you're doing a great job absolutely nobody wants to do one job their whole life. That's exactly what some comics think is acceptable. It's like once you get the job, they're like, well, that's it. I'm going to coast. That's why guys, the old era of guys were doing the same fucking hour for 12, 15, 20 years. That thing, it's finally gone. You're like, you can't do that.

Nobody gives a fuck about that. You can't do that. You didn't write a masterpiece. You didn't write some beautiful thing. And I don't understand the looking down on someone who has like an entrepreneurial spirit, like who wants to be the boss. It's a very weird thing. You should admire that in somebody. Yeah.

People like Schultz is fucking – Schultz is an entrepreneur, man. Yeah, he is. I mean entrepreneurship is like that takes the most balls and individuality. So why wouldn't you extol that? Why are you cutting that down? Because somebody is giving you approval and you're working. Don't you see that you have Stockholm syndrome?

You're a fucking employee guy. What are you tickling? You're what? What are you tickling? I got a, you scratch your balls a lot. I just, I move them around a lot.

I have big balls that get stuck to my thighs. Do you have big balls? Uh, I gotta tell you, I don't know if I got big balls or a small piece. I we've, I've said before, my, my limp penis does look like a mini pumpkin with the, with the balls. Do you have big balls? I got to tell you. I don't know if I got big balls or a small piece. I've said before, my limp penis does look like a mini pumpkin. Yeah.

With the balls and the stick. And our dads have small dicks. That's what it looks like. Really? Both of your dads have small dicks? My dad has. I have a nice stick. It's probably – your dick was probably similar size to mine. Yeah.

But my balls are not big. And I always got worried about my balls not being big. Wait, you got a nice – you got a nice cut of beef? I got a nice stick, but the pucks are not that big yeah the stick is nice the pucks are not and i've seen other my friends pucks and they're nicer than mine and i get a little jealous of people that have nice balls so what's your thing that you don't have because you're a handsome kid you're a funny kid you got a nice cut of beef got a nice career it's got a nice you know what you know what you know what the universe is balanced so you may have a you have a weird foot you have six toes

what is it and right i've red hair i mean that's kind I have red hair. I mean, that's kind of a down. That's kind of a down. But it kind of makes you stand out. It kind of looks good. He's got the foot in the old world and the new world. He still gets on TV shows and does that, but then he's huge on the – he sells the tickets for this podcast. So he's got the perfect balance. I still like to do a little TV, even though I know TV hurts my feelings.

Every time I do it, I get sad when I see what I did. I don't watch what I do anymore. You don't put stock into it. All your energy is into the podcast and the new age shit. You do the other stuff. If it comes, it comes, but you don't give much energy to it. That's how I did. Yeah. Right. I don't watch what I do anymore. And you don't put stock into it. You don't, all your energy is into the podcast and the new age shit. You do the other stuff. If it comes, it comes, but you don't give much energy to it. That's how I am. I don't like it anymore because it lets me down.

Honestly, I've said that to somebody. Every time I do something now, I'm like, oh, go in with a good attitude and I still have a good time. And at the end of the day, I see it or I see the product and it just bums me out because I'm like, I had zero control, zero control. You guys get to cackle your way out of anything. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I can't do that. Well, you can do it on your podcast. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But on'm like, I had zero control. Zero control. You guys get to cackle your way out of anything. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I can't do that. Well, you can't do it on your podcast. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But on that medium, I can't anymore. So I just got tired. I'm still going to do it when I feel like it's going to be something good. If it looks good, it doesn't mean it's going to be. That's the problem.

People are always like, why would they do that? And it's like 99% of the time you have no idea. Yeah. Right. You hope it's good. It seems like a good fucking idea. You know, but unless you're fucking Sebastian doing the Irishman Yeah, yeah sure or says it's gonna be fucking great

Yeah, but 99.9% of everything else that anybody does is gonna be like Yeah, and once as a comedian you get a taste of like being able to be successful doing your own thing having complete control and Having a ball with your friends. Yeah, it's hard to go back to the other thing and just sit in a trailer and be like whatever you want me to do yes this seinfeld said it the best when he did that american comedian ward and he's like actors are bullshit he's like they just play dress up and say what people told them to say yeah it's it's actors hate to hear this kind of shit from coming from us because they're like fuck you you know we study our whole life i get it i'm just saying from our perspective that's what it is we get to be creative and have fun yeah they have to like be on somebody else's clock all the time.

It's super hard. I always thought that too about like even like when I – any times, the small times I did act with like known actors and stuff, they would like walk around like so like big and mighty. And I'm like you make believe you're someone else. Like that's what my daughter does. Like you're the same as my daughter. You're just playing pretend. We're playing people. And people have to tell you to fucking reel it

Hey, why do they get so much regard though? It is really weird like somebody's side. It's weird Yeah, but the fucking but our people like entertainers they used to be the turd the turd trash of society We're talked about that herds of society and their lowest of the low. They're becoming again, which I like Every time like a bagel boss guy gets famous. Yeah, I love it. Every time like a Bagel Boss guy gets famous. Yeah, I love it. I love it. They are totally rendering celebrity meaningless. Yes.

Which I like. Me too. It is very funny. It's good, yeah. By the way, Bagel Boss, hilarious. He's a stroke guy. Yeah. What?

Yeah. What happened? He had a stroke outside the van he lives in. Dead story. Shut up. True story, I meant to say. He had a stroke? Yeah.

He's not dead though. No, but he's like, he was living outside. He's still making bagels. He was living in the van outside the bagel boss where he's, it's brutal. How is that real? What happened? Do you remember the video where he was a tiny little guy and he went to attack the bagel boss? I know, I know, but he's living in a van? Outside the bagel boss.

Yeah, he just, he got, like, he's just squandered every opportunity he had. I mean, he got signed to, like, a real agency. Like, I don't want to say, I actually don't know which one. He was supposed to. It was like a CAA, UTA. Wow. Yeah. Somebody was his agent.

He was supposed to fight Lenny Dykstra and then he didn't show up. And that was all part of the thing. So everybody paid tickets, was there. Lenny Dykstra was there. And he didn't show up. And then he makes a video on his Instagram. It's like, ha ha, fuck. It's fooled everybody.

Going to get the money. And they were like, no, stupid. We have a clause here. If you don't show up, you get no money. And he got sued. Yeah. So it's like he is an idiot. So he's dead.

He's almost dead. He's inches away from dying. Should we support him? Guys, donate to the patron. All the money this week is going to go right to Bagel Boss. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boy. It was funny. It was actually there was a point where Bagel Boss reached out to him and said, you can't

call yourself the Bagel Boss guy anymore. Really? Yeah. He changed his name to like the bagel guy. Bagel boy. Bagel boss was going like, stop, dude. Did they get more business because of that though? I don't know. I don't assume people would go out there and watch it. I mean, it's a bagel store in Long

Island. People are going to go no matter what. God, if you have a hard hour at 1215, it's 1220. Yeah, I do. Come on, dude. I got to go clean out my dad's apartment. It's not for, I'm not leaving you guys for like Amy Schumer's podcast. Why are you cleaning out your dad's apartment? I killed him.... I'm not leaving you guys for Amy Schumer's podcast. Why are you cleaning out your dad's apartment? I killed him. I know, but...

I know, I know, I know he passed away, but why don't you just get somebody else to do that shit? Yeah. Do you want to do it? Are you available? Mexicans, you mean? Wait, you're personally, physically cleaning it up? No, not me, but I gotta be there for the junk removal guys.

Oh, okay. So you don't need my help then? I could always use your help, Beefcake. Wow. Yeah, because we got a couple hours to kill anyway. Yeah, I was gonna... couple hours to kill anyway. Yeah, I was going to be – Come with me. I was going to give 420 tap kisses, but I'll come clean out your dead-downs apartment instead.

Where does 420 live? 420 lives in Midtown. Ooh. Yeah, it was funny because I took pictures. What does she do? What does 420 do? 420, she's got like a marketing job. That's what I like.

She has nothing to do with entertainment at all. Yeah. She doesn't care about it at all. She's the first girl I've actually liked yeah she listens and she loves you she's the first girl i've actually liked like for real right like i'm just like oh i like this that's really sweet like we like have a sleepover like maybe have sex maybe don't like it's not all about like come over blow me like i don't know i just she's the first girl you have a real human connection yeah like on text and stuff i'm like this girl's like jet like 10 out of 10 funny she was telling me a story she was like she was like that she just went to her

grandpa's funeral and he fought in world war ii he's like 98 years old and she was like that's a fucking like man they had like a service and all that stuff and she's like guys now she's like if you didn't fight for your country like i'm out she's like if you don't lose a limb you're fucking gay it's funny do you know about you yeah well that's why i was like i didn't fight in a war and she was like i like gay guys you know like yeah great like she just always has the next joke my dad my dad my dad was in the war uh and that military honors funeral like that gave me goosebumps that was great it almost made like i recorded it which was a little weird but i was like i want to remember this forever no dude they play taps and like the Marine comes and they fold the flag.

They shoot, right? They didn't shoot. No, they don't shoot. I like when they shoot. Yeah. I would have been helped if they shot. And they fold the flag and they put it on the casket. No, they take it off the casket.

They fold it real neat. And then they handed it to my brother. And they said, the president of the United States, the country, you know, thanks. Thanks you for your sacrifice and service. Wow. My brother just started bawling. Do you think that they would have handed it to your brother of the US military if they knew he was gay?

It depends. Because they should have handed it to the... It depends on who's in office. If Obama was in office, they would have handed it to him. I think this guy made a mistake because it's Trump's America and he handed him the flag. He should have handed it to me. When your brother got the flag, it didn't set on fire the moment he touched it? It didn't, which was weird.

That is very weird. I was going, wait, what? Yeah. He put wax on his hands. Oh, yeah. To protect himself. That's what it is. Yeah, he's got gay wax.

All right, go clean out your phone in this place. I understand. Let's see what this guy's saying. What is he saying? Let's see. Oh, is it a voicemail? This is James calling from 1-800-GOD-JUNK. He's calling from my apartment today.

Yeah, this is the guy I'm going to be working with. He's a Leroy, James. Definitely Leroy. That's a black kid. All right, we got to go meet James. James sounds like a good guy. What's up, babe? How you doing?

Look at these fucking lips. Do you want a piece of art? You want a piece of my dad's art? Yeah, I do. Can I get a piece of your dad's art? Yeah, I'll send you a video. Okay. And he's got a lot of art.

Some of them are cool. My dad died. He was 91, though. Not a tragedy. of art some of them are cool my dad died He was 91 though not a tragedy That's gonna that video is gonna end on my dad died My dad my dad died. What do you got anything to plug promote? What am I got 10,000 downloads? I got I got I got loyal. I got loyal. Uh, what do I say? We get oh you guys get way more than 10 I think we know I know shush shush shush. Yeah, you 10. Oh, you guys get way more than 10. I think we get more. No, I don't. Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. Yeah, you do.

Yeah, you do. He's teaching you the ways of Los Angeles now, baby. You got a lot. Yeah, we got more than 10,000 downloads, and I'm straight. Hey, listen, for real, the Gramercy sellout, that video, that was wonderful to watch. No, I appreciate it, man. And shout out to everybody that came out to that. Shout out to everybody that came out to that.

That is so fucking cool to watch people supporting, because literally the only reason why I think I still want to do podcasts at all is because I like to have fun and have people come out and see. Yeah, and so was at midnight, which was dope. And they still fucking made it out. Still came out, lying around the block at midnight, which is beautiful. Yeah, New York, New York. In LA, that wouldn't happen. If you're a midnight show, they're like, I got to be at bed. Doesn't matter who's performing at midnight.

My au pair is at the house. Yeah, Jesus could have been performing at midnight. Yeah. Is he performing at midnight, by the way? He's back. My mother said he's coming back. My mother said he's not back yet, but he's on his way. My mother and Jesus are very close. Yeah. And her and Jesus? Jesus is my mother's auntie. We call him Jesus. Oh, is that right?

No, I got another. Well, the end of the year is a couple of days in California, but then all of 2020, I'm doing a small theater tour. So if you're anywhere, go to andrewsantino.com and see. If you're anywhere across this major metro United States, Seattle, Portland, all these cities. Any New York City area? I'm going to do New York, and people are always like, why don't you do New York? Why don't you want to do New York?

I don't do New York the same way I don't do L.A., really. L.A. is like my, that's where I work out, and New York has such like this. I don't want to do New York. You'll sell tickets big time here, guy. I don't want to do New York until I can do New York. Do you know what I mean? Like you want to do like Town Hall or something. I want to do a nice theater here.

It doesn't have to be a big, a little big theater. Do the Gramercy. I know. I would do the Gramercy. You do like two, three shows at the Gramercy. Same thing with like Boston and stuff. Like I'm waiting on Boston. To the Wilba.

Yeah. I want to wait a little bit. Like I want to do it when I get enough people to come out. What are you doing in Seattle and Portland? Neptune, Aladdin theater? Neptune and Aladdin. That's what I'm doing. Boom, boom.

But you could sell the theater. I'm a little nervous. You're going to sell it, baby. All right. Thank you. You're going to sell out. What are you doing in Seattle and Portland? Neptune and Aladdin. That's what I'm doing. But you could sell the tape. I'm a little nervous. You're going to sell it, baby. You're going to sell it. People need to go see you. Give me a couple of retweets, guy. I'll retweet you. You are, and I'm talking to Giannis, one of the funniest people I know.

Thank you. Yeah! Check out your podcast, too. Check out Whiskey Ginger, the podcast. Go log into that. See Chrissy D's when you come out to Los Angeles. check out Whiskey Ginger The podcast Go log into that See Chrissy Dees When you come out To Los Angeles Come out and come sit with me

I would love to have you It does a great podcast Honestly it'd be so much Fucking fun Yeah this was fucking Are you sober Or do you have a drink I'm sober

Well I'm a social drinker But I'm not You've been pounding A lot of beers as of late Yeah well cause Papa's gone Yeah Yeah everyone's been Dropping dead in his family

It turned it on a little bit Yeah But I find that The high majority Of my fans now. Are you sober? No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

But that's the thing is like I always have a glass on the show. The whole show is like to have a glass and talk about your past. You got good skin like you're sober, though. No, this kid's put together. Moisturized. He's healthy, too. And he takes a shirt off. He's got a nice bod.

Yeah. I try to work out and do all the right things. But I do like to have a little bit of the soft. Did you work out today? When did you see without a shirt on? After this. Huh? When did you see without a shirt on? Is that. Huh? When did you see without a shirt on?

Is that just what you were imagining? I sleep over. Oh, okay. We share one. I only got one sleeping bag, you know, on purpose. I only sleep over when his wife's out of town. That's right. Yeah, we say out of town.

I put her up in a Marriott right down the street. That's what it is. Yeah. All right. Yeah, listen. You're his Kumar? I'm his Kumar. I'm Santino's Kumar.

You're my Kumar. ChristyComedy.com, GiannisPompousComedy.com, HistoryHahinas.com. You know what it comedy.com. History. Hyenas.com. You know what it is. We got dates coming up everywhere. All right. I'm going to go take my pervert in.