History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 107 - The Calendar is WILD!

Episode Date: December 29, 2019

We end another year of History Hyenas talking about the tool that helps us track how long its been! Whatever, time is a construct, reality is a suggestion, whatever makes you comfy womfy! We get into the calendars' origins as well as a very special op-ed from Yannis!  Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប� what's up everybody welcome to the history hyenas i'm chrissy d that's yanni p we're here let me just start off with something light okay i tweeted out the other day that i was going to vote for andrew yang um because he's the most American president we're ever going to have because he was made in China. And people have been tweeting at me that he was born in America, not in China, that I'm stupid. It's like, yeah, I'm a fucking comedian. I'm joking. I'm very aware of the rules of

this country, and I understand that the rules are that you have to be born in the United States of America to become president, and we've never had a president that wasn't born in America besides Obama, and that's just the truth. So let's just start it. That was also Wei Zhongjian, Zach.

Wei Zhongjian. And also christycomedy.com. I got live dates coming up. Yeah, Giannis Pappas. Historyhyenas.com for t-shirts. Giannis Pappas, comedy.com. Come see me and Mike Emojiface at Gotham Comedy Club February 21st and 2nd

and Uncle Vinny's February 28th and 9th. If you didn't catch Mike Emojiface at Gotham Comedy Club February 21st and 2nd And Uncle Vinny's February 28th and 9th If you didn't catch Mike Emojiface with Chris, you'll catch him with me He needs to pick up the pace He needs to pick up the pace Mike Emojiface will be with me in Hamden, Connecticut on January 24th And Atlantic City on January 25th Yeah, I'm just going to have him and Zach and Venetia open for me Yeah, just have everybody open for you

Because here's the truth, it doesn't matter I mean, anybody could do comedy now If you could sell tickets, they'll put for you because here's the truth. It doesn't matter. Anybody could do comedy now. If you could sell tickets, they'll put you in. You could do stand-up. It doesn't matter, but the incentive to come see us is because we've been doing stand-up for 10, 12 years, some of us longer, and it's our backbone. You're going to see an actual stand-up performance.

Then maybe we'll come out and we'll bring Mike on and we'll do a podcast. You just don't know, but just know when you come watch us perform, you're going to see actual comedians doing comedy in the space it was created for i'm here for the other people it's like that you love their podcast but what they're doing is is a nice thing but you know it's just they weren't born to do it where i was we're two kids who are me and yannis are two kids who are in the closet gaze and we've been using that energy we've been pushing it down that's why the big triceps but now we're letting it out on stage.

Deadass. What were you about to say? I'm happy to be working with you guys, but I also don't know what pick at the pace means. We're just... I know it's funny. I don't know what it is. We're just yelling about it.

I said it the other episode and it was funny. Yeah. It's like, I know I'm slow. Yeah. We just want you to be safe. Yeah. That's it. to be safe. Yeah. That's it. And I've just realized I like having Venetia around because I just need to be a little more Greek.

It's nice to have someone around who's Greek who makes me feel a little more Greek. Yeah. Yeah. Are we going to Greece in September? We should. We're going to go to Greece. We're going to Greece and then we're going to Germany. Yeah, but here's the thing with Greeks, is you like having Benetia around,

but you don't like when she challenges your authority. Because there can only be one Greek in charge. There's only, look, there's only... I'm a German kid. I'm very okay with kind of dispersing. I have a team around me, and we make the decision, and we came up with a lot of good ideas that were thwarted back. But you, Wei Shanshan, I'm just kidding.

But the Greeks, you want to just do it all in one person. You think you guys fucking know everything because you're all inbred mutants. Wei Zhongxian. Wei Zhongxian. Wei Zhongxian. We're, look, we're going to discuss the Julian calendar today. Yeah, this is Bedia. Yeah.

And I love the, I want to take, I want to have robot Vedantia open for me. Malaka. Yeah. That means hello in Greek and Malaka means, well, Google. Yeah. Oh, i'm here for it yeah yeah and where's yaya's cookies i brought yaya's cookies yeah okay the same way the same way that robot that robot vanitya makes me put on the headphones is the same thing our patreon.com slash bay ridge boys should make you guys want to join it because there's things

that can only be heard on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys that can't be heard anywhere else. So it's like, I have to put the headphones on to hear Robot Vanitya. You have to go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and just pay us $5 a month at the lowest to hear more and more great content. It's what you guys should be doing. Yeah. Let's talk about

patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. What was that? It's what it is should be doing. Yeah. Let's talk about patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. What was that? It's what it is? In Korean. Nice. Nice. I like, Zach just mixes it up. Yeah.

We needed a little Korean in our life. Yeah. But patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. I want you to explain, like, because I think it's nice for people to understand what it, how cheap it really is. Mm-hmm. To, first of all, that's what we want for christmas yes also you can order you know if it's somebody's birthday get them a patreon yeah episode for their birthday it's a nice gift it's literally it's literally at the

lowest it's sixty dollars a year five dollars a month you know what are you gonna buy them scratch offs buy them this now let's explain six So $60 for the year. Let's say me and Chrissy came to your town, right? How much are the tickets to go see us? Tickets for us? Not Nate Bargatze because those are $300. Those are $300 for us? We want the working man at the show. We're going to be about $30.

Plus, you've got to buy two drinks, food. You're going to spend at least $100 to come see us. That's a good deal. That's a good deal for the year. Well, just listen to us for $60 for the year. Yeah, $30. That means you would buy me and Chrissy a couple drinks. That's a good deal for the year. Well, just listen to us for $60 for the year. Yeah, $30. That means you would buy me and Chrissy a couple drinks

if we came to your town for the year. If you guys get a really good job, if like, I know some of our fans even graduated from community college, you can even go up and do $25 a year.

$25 a month. How much is that per year, Mike? I know it's $250 for 10 months, but I can't think. I'm just asking Mike because he's a Chinese kid here. Well, Neil deGrasse here. How much? $300. And Neil deGrasse Tyson told us

on the last episode, do not memorize anything you can just look up. Yeah, it's low. By the way, the sound effects are low. Yeah. But I mean... So we're just farting with them here now? And to quote the great Angelo

Lozada, RIP, Neil deGrasse Tyson, we were just informed, is half Puerto Rican, half black, so that means he's Dominican. Yeah. That's Angelo Lozada's joke, one of his jokes on... Yeah. What's the... One good thing about him passing his way is we won't have to hear that joke anymore.

Yeah. He would have appreciated that joke. Zach, I don't have enough energy to go turn that down, but it's way too loud in my ears now. I'll do it. I mean, you kicked it up all the way like you were about to show me your demo. Yeah. You're like, kick it up like, yo, hold up. Here it is.

Ready? One, two, three. Do you go uh, uh, uh before you start? I go, yeah. Yeah. I mean, kids can't, nobody can just start a rap song. They got to start with a couple of uh. What noises can make?

Uh. Like a Michael Jackson. Uh. Uh. Right. He goes, uh. Uh. Yo, Jan's got a new track out.

Yes. Yeah. Can we hear a little bit of it? Let's pull it up. We're going to get Jan. We're going to get Jan the Squeak on here. By the way. Jan the Squeak.

He should change his R&B name to Jan the Squeak. I think it's a funny fucking name. I think we can market him on here and we can blow him up. And he fits in a mouse hole. He does. Jan the Squeak. Mike got my daughter a Christmas gift and I really appreciate it, Mike.

Mike is a good-hearted kid who needs to pick up the pace. He needs to pick up the pace. He needs to pick up the pace. Yeah. Yeah, Mike on stage, when he's not picking up the pace, I'm going to come and I'm going to hit him

in the back of the knees with a wiffle ball bat. That's what we got to do. You know what's funny about all the things you say? Yeah. Andrew Agus is going to go make that into a meme

and you're going to forget you said it. It's what it is. I'm going to black out. Because Andrew Agus, he made a, he made a, first of all, he gave you great life you great life advice yep and then secondly he made a meme of you hitting jan as a piñata and you didn't remember where that came from i had no idea but it's something that you said it's something i said you said you wanted to hit jan and see if if if estrogen or

testosterone yeah it's like people get mad at me at the things i say i am responsible for my words 100 but just know i don't know what i'm saying half the time. I'm in a blackout, but I'm still responsible for it. But when you're like, you said that about me, I'm like, I probably did. I'm sorry. I don't know. This is why I like Jan the Squeak, because he messaged us. He said we were both getting a kiss in the mouth for something we wrote, and he's just

got a good sense of humor, and he goes with it. I don't think he's going to mind that we're calling him Jan the Squeak, because I think he's aware that he's 5'2". Yeah, he knows. Not at all. People have told him, I heard some stuff about you on History of Hyenas, and he just laughed. Yeah, he's a good fucking hearted kid who's got a sense of humor, and he's got some talent. He's got some talent, some real talent. So here's him singing on the last song. I want to hear his new track.

This is it? Yeah, let's hear it. And then I want to watch his video. It's Jan. Watch this video. Pause it. Pause it. Pause it. Pause it. Him in the car is hilarious because he's not above the steering wheel.

Yeah. He looks like he just stole his parents' car. Yeah. And he's making a video. Kids in the car is hilarious because he's not above the steering wheel. Yeah. He looks like he just stole his parents' car. Yeah. And he's making a video. Kids in my car seat. Rewind it a little bit. I can't see it. Yeah.

Can we put it up so Chrissy can see it? Okay. Yeah. Let's look at him. Watch. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, his chin is below the steering wheel.

Yeah, the girl who came over, he looks like a giant next to him. Yeah. He's a good singer. Yeah. It's a good song. Is he trying to do a record label? What's going on with him?

It's a good song. Me, him, and our other friend, Mike Mraz, we actually, on December 20th, had our first show as our official new rap group called Scary Kids. We're going to be dropping stuff soon. We're going to come on here, show you guys some of the new music,

and just talk scary shit. Absolutely. Now, I want to hear the other song. Let me hear the other song with you and him where you go, there for you, there for you. That one. Do you have a video of that?

No. You need some help with marketing. Venetia, get on these fucking kids. We'll get to the Julian calendar, but we're in the history hyenas, Venetia. I want to hear the song. Yeah, we did the business. We said what you told us to say about the patron. We did it.

I just want to hear one more fucking- And we shouted out our dates. Yeah. So now I just don't want to listen anymore. You know why she stopped me? I'm having an allergic reaction to the almonds in that fucking bag. You know why she's stopping me? She's stopping me.

I'll tell you why she's stopping me. Because she's having an affair with Zach. It's what it is. And she doesn't want him to leave this podcast and make it a musician. Now I want him to make it so we can just kick him off the podcast. Yeah, just get both of them out of here. Now I want to support your music just so when we fire you, you want to leave anyway. I'm just kidding.

All right, let's hear it. I want to hear the fucking song. You should make a video for it, Zach. It's a good song. What, this one or the last one? There for you. Yeah. This is a good fucking song.

This is a really good song. Yeah. People in their cars right now, they appreciate Zach. I just want to give another side of Zach so they don't want to kill him. They want to kill him. Yeah. Pause for one second. The last episode, what did we do?

That was the 100th episode? I mean, the sound of that started so fucking hot. It's part of who we are. I understand it's our brand. But then it got normal. And then the people are going to want to kill Zach. But now that they hear this music, they're going to be like, you know what?

The kid is talented. Let's hear it. Drop it. Yeah. There for you I'll be there for you There for you You need me I could be there for you

That's great. I got an idea. What if we made a video for that with me and Chrissy? Yeah. What if me and Chrissy, what if we did a History Hyenas with that and we're holding up Jan the Squeak?

Yeah. What if Jan the Squeak is on Chrissy's shoulders for the whole fucking video? Yeah. And I'm just shaving down ISIS like Georgie Animal Steel. I just got a razor and I'm just shaving his back. Yeah. And we sing I'm there for you. Yeah, I love it.

What do you think of that? It's like an Eric Andre thing. Yeah. I like it. And every time we squeeze Mike, he sings I'm there for you. Yeah. Like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Yeah.

And then Venetia's just there going like this, disapproving, disapproving. Yeah. I just came up with a great fucking concept for there for you. Let's do it. Where can the people listen to the song, Zach? That's on Spotify, SoundCloud.com. What's it called? Jan II.

That's called There For You. The other one is called Lone Star featuring A.C. Lincoln. So check that out. There it is. I want to support Zach's career because I think they got talent, and I like it, and it's good. And I want to get the squeak on here. Yeah, the squeak's going to come on an episode. I like Jan.

We're going to beat him like a piñata. Yeah, and the next show we're doing, Jan the Squeak and Isis are going to open the show up. You guys are going to start performing as the people are coming in, and that's what it is. Or we could just make Mike do stand-up and them do music at the same time. You're going to open a show up. You guys are going to start performing as the people are coming in. Yeah. And that's what it is. Yeah. Or we could just make Mike do stand-up and them do music at the same time. Yeah, and I don't know when. And see who wins. Yeah, and I don't know when we're getting the date because the date, I thought it was going to be February 8th, but it's not now.

Yeah. So I don't know when we're doing it, but the next big show will be at the Gramercy Theater in February sometime. Does it even matter? I mean, do the people even know what's coming? We're coming. We're coming. You can't stop us. They don't know.

Somebody said you can't spell Chrissy without SS, and it still made my day. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Yeah. He goes, remember, you can't spell Chrissy without SS. Yeah. Yeah. And I just want to say on record, I don't support anything the German Nazis did. No, here's the thing. I'm just kidding around.

It's a character piece. Here's the thing. If you're tuning in for the first time, we truly love everybody. Truly. We're allies to everybody. But the truth is Chrissy does love the uniforms. You like the fashion. So that's the thing is you're being honest.

You're like, I hated what they stood for. But Hugo Boss knows how to fucking make a uniform look snug and tall. It's fucking cute. Let me tell you something. The Hugo Boss unis are cute, and the Jeeps they drove were fucking cute. They were BMWs. Do you think it was a tactic, like when they marched into Greece, like mine and Venetia's ancestors were going like, oh, my God, it's a scary Nazis. But we were also going like, work it, girl, because those fucking boots and those are kayao.

Kayao. They all had on fry boots. Tell the people what you called me today. Was it Baby Gorgeous? Baby Gorgeous. Yeah. He texted me. This is actually what I said. This is my exchange with Chris. We'll say the text exchange. Let me find it right now.

Hold on. He calls me Baby Gorgeous during the day. He's a person. You're just a person who your feet are really shaped like high heels. Yeah, so it'll say, so here's how we start. Here's like, you know, today I said, hey, bubs, I can do Tim. I'll roll with you because I got car service taking me later.

What do you want to leave, babes? And he wrote, now, Dylan is good for 1230. I said, okay, great. Can you come scoot me? And you said, babe, hon, yes. And I said, okay, baby, gorgeous. And then you said, text me when you're ready. And then I wrote, ready, hon. Yeah. Yes, that's just how we roll yeah merry Christmas to everybody out there

happy holidays happy uh what do we call it happy harmonica yeah happy new year when's this come out happy fucking new year so these people have already had their Christmases yeah well Christmas is a week long for me we had a nice little party up at the Verzi's. Me, Sal Volcano, Chrissy. It was a nice little dinner party and we had a good time. It was so much fun. Thank you to Paul Verzi who will be our guest soon. The funny, hilarious Paul Verzi. Also one of my best friends in the entire

world. So we had a good time. Guys, what are you guys doing for the holidays? Venetia? I'm here. I'm in New York. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. You're here for it. I'm here in New York I'm spending time with Yaya She's got cookies Wow the cookies

Yeah she's We're gonna make cookies And we're just gonna chill And exchange gifts When are we gonna meet Your other brother Oh Peter Yeah

I'll make that happen Yeah I'm here for that Yeah okay I'm here for that Because the other brother Is an alcoholic No you guys

That's inappropriate I was having a good time. That was funny. Yeah, he was having a really good time. Yeah. Now, Mikey, what are you doing? Did you find a place yet? No, I'm in the city.

I don't know. Why don't you go home for the holidays? Because my grandma's dead. There's nowhere to go to. Good point. Yeah. What happened? She listened to this podcast?

No, she just was on a roof at some point. Yeah. She laughed so hard she fell off the roof. Couldn't pick up the pace. Yeah, pick up the pace, Mikey. No, well, I hope you find something. I'm going to call you and text you on the holidays. I wish I could bring you to my party, but I'm going to my wife's family and shit like

that. I don't know where it is. But we are going to do a history hyenas Christmas party. We're going to Pilos, which is a very good Greek restaurant in New York City. And we're going to have some Greek food. And it's going to be nice. And everyone's going to get gifts from Venetia. Okay. I have something to do this week.

Just get everyone a fucking gift. Okay. How are you doing, Chris, with him leaving? Wait, real quick. I just want to say so you don't have nowhere to go on Christmas Day? Come by me. Okay. My mom and my dad and stepmom, Barney Rubble and Betty Rubble, are cooking dinner. And it's going to be me.

That's awesome. Me, Barney Rubble, Betty Rubble, and Pebbles, my daughter. Yeah. And then, yeah. Bring Mike. And then we'll bring Mike. And then, yeah. What time does your dinner start?

I don't know. Come over whenever you want. Yeah. 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock, whenever you want. Just come out to Bay Ridge. I got a fucking love satchel. You got something to do on Christmas? Yeah don't know. Come over whenever you want. Yeah. Three o'clock, four o'clock, whenever you want. Just come out to Bay Ridge. I got a fucking Love Sack. You got something to do? Yeah, Love Sack.

By the way, shout out Love Sack. They finally messaged me. Wait, don't. Don't. Oh, yeah. No, sorry. Love Sack didn't say anything, but I support your product.

Yeah, no. Yeah. You guys got to start sponsoring us because you know what? We're doing real numbers now and we're doing a lot for them. Yeah. So we're going to start calling it

a beanbag real soon unless you guys provide a check. Yeah. It's going to be called the Love Shack soon. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be called the Love Suck. The Love Fuck You. If you don't start giving me money.

That's no case. We need a little bit of money. Listen, you've been going a long time. Unbeknownst to you, we've been doing a lot of promo for you. We've been doing a lot of promo, but now you need to give us the money. You have to talk to my representative, Vanity Greenberg. Cheers. Talk to you about a good deal that you cannot refuse.

By the way, just real quick, and then I'm going to talk about Giannis' move. The SNL that came out with Eddie Murphy hosting when he did Gumby. Oh, yeah. The funny, that's what it is. Like, it was so on-the-nose, raw, funny because there was no PC bullshit. It was just like, hey, it's comedy. We're going to do whatever we want to do. Don't take offense to it.

Change the channel if you don't like it because it's funny. We don't worry about who we're pissing off or not, and that's the way it should be. And that's why it was so great because he was calling people black bastards as a Jewish guy. And it's like, you could just do that. How funny was what he called Colin Jost's headshot. He called Colin Jost's headshot. He was taking shots at everybody. Yeah. And it's like it's fine. Do you think he riffed that or do you think that was

I think it was no the way Colin Jost was laughing I believe that he was riffing. He was riffing a little bit. Yeah. He also said shit on it. Yeah he said shit. Yeah. He said shit. Yeah. But I think that was an inverting. It was just funny. It just reminded you of a time when SNL was really about the cast and

not so much. They didn't have to outsource. The guest appearances and the guests of the week. You know, the guest star of the week. It was a time where people used to tune in for the characters from the cast. I loved it all. Even when Chappelle and Rock and everybody came on

and then the Beck Bennett kid tried to come and he was pushed right off. It's hilarious. It's funny. Because it's about the black guys right now. It's hilarious. So I saw some white people on Twitter getting mad like, how is that not racist?

It's like, shut up. It's comedy. It's great. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. It was a great fucking episode. The only bad part to that episode is when the cast, actual cast, was doing it. Those were the only bad parts of the episode is when the cast was on it.

It's like, get them out of here. Plain and simple. There's a little truth to that, unfortunately. Weekend Update is good, and then it's like, the rest is like, get them the fuck off the show. Yeah, get some fucking... Forget about having a cast, SNL. Just get the greats on to come on Eddie Murphy.

Why is Tyler Fisher not on that fucking show? Have Eddie Murphy and Will Ferrell and Jimmy Fallon on whatever you want. Have them come on every...

Once a week, you're gonna get a big celeb to come on and you're gonna get 10 of them. And they're gonna do all the sketches. Enough with fucking having these...

Nobody knows what you're talking about or doing anymore. Or just get some talented, talented sketch performers on there like they used to. Yeah. Just that's it. That's it. They never outsourced before because they heard the cast. The girls are great.

Who are the girls' names? Aidy Bryant and Kate McKinnon are insanely talented. Everybody else, it's like, if I can do what you're doing, that's a problem. Melissa Villanueva. Melissa's very funny. Yeah, they're all talented, but they don't get used. Yeah. They don't get used. They got to use them. And like, yeah, use them some more so they're

busy and they don't have to do stand-up. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because that's another thing we have to deal with as stand-ups. It's like, these guys come on and it's like, you just shit. I mean, you just bomb and you take a shit on stage. And then that's stand-up. Yeah, because they're really talented at the sketch stuff. They're excellent at the sketch stuff. That's a different thing. It's a different thing. Everyone's just doing stand-up now. It's devaluing stand-up.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't mind. I don't complain. I don't care. Absolutely. Because they're whatever. I'm not watching SNL again

until they cast Shane Gillis and Steve Bannon. That's no guess. By the way, when's Shane Gillis? We're getting Shane Gillis on. Shane's coming on. Yeah, because we've had him on. He's been on enough other podcasts where people are not going to come after us. We have him on.

He's been washed. Yeah, but here's the funny thing. We're getting a clean Shane Gillis now because we couldn't get him a few months ago because it was still a little dirty. He was still a little too hot to touch. A little too hot to touch for us right now. We're in build mode. Yeah.

Okay, but now he's been cleaned off. Yeah. He's had a little heat and not the good type. He had that police heat. Yeah. He had the heat from the fuzz. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We didn't need, you know, we didn't need these guys coming through our episode. No, we didn't need any Chinese rights groups coming after us. Yeah. We didn't need that. Yeah. Although the Chinese are putting Muslims in concentration camps and it's just what it is.

Yeah. We'll just look over that. That's a really bad thing. We'll just look over that. So yeah. You know. It's a really bad thing. Yeah. We'll just look over that. That's a really fucking. We'll just look over that. So, yeah. You know. It's a really bad thing. Yeah.

We'll look over that, and we'll just say, yep, you can't say anything about Chinese people. Whatever you want to say. That's. Okay. You know, that's something that, like, needs more attention, dude. That's a really horrible thing that's happening in China. Just fucking go Google it. Sure.

It's brutal, and it's scary, because it reminds. It's very. It's reminiscent of the 1940s and I can't believe that that's happening in this day and age. No, no, no, no, because the news,

that's not what our news is about. Yeah, Venetia's about to tell us, are you Googling it? Venetia's about to like, you want us to take a shot? You want us to take a shot? Like, she's like,

yes, work here for it. I'm on a work trip. Yeah, robot Venetia. Yo, Zach's got a thick cut of beef in his pants. Yeah.

Zach's got his legs spread open, and I can see his fucking cock and balls. Yeah. He's wearing his brother's pants. Yeah. He's wearing Jan's pants. They're tight. Look at what he's wearing today. It might as well be Jan's pants.

I thought they were mine, and I got here. I was like, these are not mine. You got nice thick thighs. What I like about Zach is we haven't even noticed that he lied to us about his age at the beginning, just like Jan Bogacar. How old are you? He's 24 now. thighs. What I like about Zach is we haven't even noticed that he lied to us about his age at the beginning, just like Jembe Gakas. How old are you? He's 24 now. I didn't lie.

I think you guys just kind of forgot or nodded it off. That's probably true. Chrissy started calling you a 24-year-old kid, but you were 22 at the time. Did you see the other meme? Did you see the other meme that was sent to us? Where Rafael DeLuca on the turntables and Jembe Gakas' head as one of the records? That was because that was also something you said. What did I say?

You said he's got her head on in the turntable yeah oh wow i don't remember yeah you're truly chrissy blackouts it's what it is you learned how to black things out after you got molested it's a real tool of coping you know what i mean it's just and it works in my career because like i can black out the good shows and the bad shows and i don't get this inflated ego because I don't remember anything I've done. So it's like, I don't know if it's good or bad. I just don't remember. Every day I wake up, it's like 50 first dates.

I'm like, what am I doing here? I'm Drew Barrymore. We all got our coping mechanisms that we need to use. You black it out. Yeah. Mikey drowns his starles in a Slurpee. Yeah. Me, I pass out.

Yeah. Zach goes and hangs out with the squeaky mix of rap song. And Vanity has sex with black guys. I agree with that. You're missing the good robot

Vanity drops. Oh, shit. Zach just crushed that. He went, I agree with that. You gotta wear the headphones for the drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Wait, I have to pee, Vanity. Am I allowed to pee? No, you can't pee. The prostatitis is back. Definitely fuckboy status. Well, I was going to ask you about the moments of 2019 on the pod, but I feel like you don't remember shit. No, I do.

What's been my favorite moment in 2019? When we interviewed Neil deGrasse Tyson. That was a really great moment. That was a great moment, and I think we were on fire that episode. And we're going to get picked up by Sirius now. That's going to be the new thing. Sirius XM is going to pick us up as a show. They better offer us some real fucking money.

They better offer us some real dough, and we're just going to have to push out. We're going to have to start pushing people out. We're just going to be the new morning show. I mean, because let's be honest. Sam Roberts, I mean, let's just be honest. Oh, God. It's truth here. Chris is here. It's okay. I mean, because let's be honest. Sam Roberts, I mean, let's just be honest. It's truth here. Chris is here. I mean, come on, guy.

You know? I mean, after a while, people are like, we don't want to deal with this anymore. Let's just get Chris and Giannis on. You know? I like Sam, too. I'm just kidding around because he's a friend and he comments on our pictures. That's why I'm bringing it up because Sam, I know, hopefully, is listening. That's why we love and support you. Yeah, well, he better be because we're coming to take your job so you better know what's coming to beat you up.

Yeah. No, just kidding. I told Sam, yeah, he said, well... Sam, I'd love to have Sam Roberts on if he's ever available. Yeah, if Jim's available to come with him, yeah, that'd be great. That's no care.

We're just joking. It's a joke. Well, that's why you could do it. A guy like Sam, at least, is really in comedy. You can fucking make a joke, and he's cool with it. Yes. A lot of other people, like,

they want to sue you. Like, the other guy, John Fugel's gang or something like that. Oh, that guy sucks. He gets, like, mad at people for making jokes. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. At least we can joke around. You're absolutely right.

I should not continue to eat these on the podcast. Yeah, because people don't want to hear you chewing. They don't want to hear me eating dried apricots. Malacca. Yeah. Venetia brings healthy snacks and traded jams. No, and it's a two-fold answer. It's people don't want to hear it, and because I've been celibate and I'm horned up, me looking at your wet lips is not good.

Chris, no. Don't puke. Robot Venetia does not approve. Yeah, yeah. No, I told Sam. He was like, what are you two cuties doing in my studio? And we did the Neil deGrasse Tyson, and I said, cuz, I sniffed your seat and you got no fumes. Good on you.

Good on you. And did he write back? No, he didn't. No, he's a good kid. He's another guy that lives up in Westchester. Does he live in Westchester? Yeah. So listen, Yanni moved.

And it's just been one of those things where. I moved to Westchester generically. The generic answer is Westchester. That's where he moved. We were lying about where I moved before. But for $500 tier on the Patreon, I'll give you his address. No, you won't, Chris. No, you won't.

Make a tier. Oh, wait. Speaking of Patreon. Chris, no. Let's say, let's tell them the good news, what we're going to do. Oh, yeah. About from our Fuhrer, Andrew Schultz. Here's what's happening.

Here's what's happening. Mike forgot to do it because he's overworked. We got to wrestle him away from Bobby. We're making, and this is really, we hope, James Altucher, we hope you're listening, for $1 million. $1 million tier. Oh, that was real? We will release the Tim Dillon secret. The Tim Dillon secret episode will be

released for $1 million. The $1 million on Patreon. Oh, I'm here for it. Yes. You can do that, and we can also set up a payment plan, but $1 million if you want to hear the Tim Dillon episode. That's why I haven't sent it out to any of my friends. That's why I haven't sent it out to no one. For $1 million if you want to hear the Tim Dillon episode. That's why I haven't sent it out to any of my friends. That's why I haven't sent it out to no one. For $1 million on Patreon.com

slash Bay Ridge Boys for $1 million tier, we will release the secret Tim Dillon episode that was too wild and crazy to ever be released to the public. But for a millish milly, you can download it and do as you please with it as long as that $1 million clears into our bank account. Exactly. We're talking about it's going to cost you one stick. It's going to cost you a stick. One stick You can download it and do as you please with it as long as the million dollar clears into our bank account.

We're talking about it's going to cost you one stick. It's going to cost you a stick. One stick. Yeah. It's the Tim Dillon episode tier. Yeah. If you can afford $1 million, it's yours. Yeah.

And then me and me and then we've already discussed me, Giannis, and Tim Dillon are going to split up that $1 million and Tim is going to invest it for us in subprime mortgages. Yeah. That's what we told them, but we don't have a contract. If someone buys it, me and Chris are splitting that million. We splitting it, and you're not going to hear this podcast for a while because we're moving to Turks and Caicos. Yeah, the only way you're going to get your cut, fucking Tim, is if you introduce us to Rogan. Yeah, that's it.

It's what it is. It's the only way it's going down. Yeah, so it's been, but yeah, so Giannis moved, and it's been a little wild, you know what I mean? I own two fucking houses. And Giannis has been fucking around with me now because I said, I texted him the other day. I was like, hey, are you in the Ridge? And he goes, yeah.

And then I was like, okay, let's get coffee. Let's hang out. And then he sent me a picture of a place where he was, which was not in the Ridge. Cackle the whole thing. Why? Because it's close to where I live, and people can't know. What are you talking about? I never said it.

I know, but people are going to make the connection. What are you talking about? They're just going to make the connection. No, they won't. You don't think so? I think they will. No, they won't. No chance.

I didn't say anything. No. Okay. I said you said you were in the ridge. And then I said you sent me a picture of where you are and it's nowhere near the ridge. Okay, good. Yeah. So you said it really responsibly.

I guess I was just like, Zach, I was waiting for the wrong thing. Yeah. That's really funny. I was young. I wasn't even listening. I was just like, Zach, I was waiting for the wrong thing. That's really funny. I was just assuming you were saying something. It's what it is. Yeah, because you look like a German kid. Yeah. We're talking about the Julian calendar today. Yeah, what is it?

My fact. Oh, wow. Mike, thank you. He is coming with his agent. Do we have the emojis? We're going to get them when we film at my apartment on Saturday. I'm going to have my baby go in there and find them. Okay.

Because I don't know where they are. I don't even know what the emoji is. I don't even remember the emoji. Well, here's the truth of the situation is I let the B-A-B-I play with them one day, and I don't know where they are now. She might have flushed them all down the toilet. I don't know. The B-A-B-I found these funny faces and was running around with them

and I just let her do it because I was texting toots. Yeah. But now I'm not. That's a good lie that you gave her. That was two months ago. Let's be honest about what happened.

You know you didn't let the baby play with him. I did though. Once you saw that popsicle stick on the other end, you know what you did with him. Yeah, I know what I did. You plugged him in your ass

and you danced around like a little peacock. It's what it is. It's what you did. Yeah. And you took pictures in the mirror with different smiling faces sticking out of your ass. Yeah, I did exactly what my dad did. I wrote Leroy on those sticks and I stuck's what it is. It's what you did. Yeah. And you took pictures in the mirror with different smiling faces.

Yeah, I did exactly what my dad did. I wrote Leroy on those sticks, and I stuck them in my ass. That's what you did. Wei Zhong Zhen. Wei Zhong Zhen. That's what you did, and you know it. That's just what I did. Yeah.

Yeah. And by the way, we can't call somebody somebody. Christy's dating someone else. Her name is 620. It's 620. That's low-key. Yeah, so it's what it is. Here's Mikey Emoji's fact of the day.

I called him Mikey Magi. You called him Mikey Magi, yeah. Yeah. Mikey Emoji. He's clean-shaven today. He looks like a different looking kid. I look like a seal. Yeah.

Since 1 AD, the year has slowed, and it's actually 10 seconds slower from then. We've lost 10 seconds since 1 AD. And how's that possible? I don't know. Sun stuff? We should ask Neil deGrasse Tyson that. We should have asked him. The Julian calendar was actually 365 and one-quarter days.

So it's all math stuff, really. Well, the thing is, we're going to talk about the calendar. And here's the truth, right? Is we're going to talk about the calendar. And there are a lot of fascinating things. And New Year's Eve is fascinating. And all these times are fascinating. But it's all made by man.

None of this is real, okay? It's conditioned. It's conditioned. Whatever, a foreign concept is to have a 400 day calendar like that some people say that goes against nature no it doesn't man made it all up to keep time time is not real it's measuring how we go around

the sun so it's not just totally made up it's to keep track of things for like know where the sun is going to be but I'm saying like people like with the New Year's New Year's resolution or like none of that is real. Even celebrating New Year's Eve. None of it is a real thing.

It's just a thing man made up. Right. But it does. It is like Mike is saying it is based on something that is real. So it's like the earth based on something in the universe. Yeah. The earth goes around the sun and we've broken up the year and and labeled it as such to mark one full revolution around the Earth. I don't even know if I believe it. You know what's funny? Much like the situation, we're not going anywhere.

We're just going around in a circle. Yeah, so it's like we make fun of the situation a lot, but it's like, yeah, we're on a stationary bike. It's called life. That answers the question. It sounds like it's slower because it slowly gets further from the sun. Yeah, because eventually we're going to spin out of the orbit and be out of the sun's gravity and the planet will die anyway. That's inevitable. You keep talking like that, we will. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a real negative perspective. Sorry. Yeah. Not if you vote for fucking Hillary, it won't. Yeah. Trump will make sure the fucking planet stays in orbit. That's probably something he would say, too.

He'd be like, you know what? You vote for me. All this fucking science bullshit out the window. Yeah. That and whatever the Chinese has made up out the window we're keeping the sun where it's supposed to be in orbit yeah so the early roman calendar first of all julian the julian calendar began january 1st 45 bce yeah that's before christ yeah which i'm not interested in that history because my history starts when jesus christ came okay because before that you just had a lot of

fucking guys talking a lot of shit down in Egypt and stuff that I'm not concerned with. My fucking history starts with J.C., Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. And my history class is called the Catholic Church. Yeah, yeah.

And my history class, your history class starts with Jesus Christ. My history starts 1776 when George Washington founded this great nation. Yeah, that's all we're concerned with. We're a couple kids

from the outer boroughs. We're a lot of 14. Yeah, Sean Terry, Patrick Mulrooney. Yeah, I don't even remember who's who, but we're two kids, okay? Yeah. We're not from the outer boroughs we're a lot of 14 yeah Sean Terry Patrick Mulrooney yeah I don't even remember who's who but we're two kids okay

yeah we're not from the city that's all you need to know yeah that's all you need to know a lot of 14 BCE means before common error

oh I thought it meant before Christ it meant BCE means before Christ but then they changed it for people who don't believe in Christ oh yeah you see

everything's gotta be fucking political yeah here we go yeah I was born before um for people who don't believe in Christ. Oh, yeah. You see? Everything's got to be fucking political. Yeah. Here we go. Yeah. I was born before. They should just change it to, I was born before a person,

a person who identified as a man, who some people identify as the Savior, but other people don't. I found it. Yeah. Whoever changed it from BC to BCE, every morning for breakfast, they have a nice bowl of cookie charms. Yeah, they have a nice bowl of cookie charms. Yeah, you have a nice bowl of cookie charms.

It's what it is. You're a cuck. Hi. Okay, so the early Roman calendar, it consisted of 10 months and had 304 days. Okay, so only 304 days. So the year was a squeak. Yeah, so they lost two months. I hope they didn't lose August.

That's my birthday. Yeah, that's me and Chrissy's birthday. Yeah. With each new year beginning at the Vernal Equinox. I mean, Mike's using big words here. And Mike's also checked out right now fucking texting. Oh, I thought you were texting a dude. Yeah.

Okay. Over the centuries, the calendar fell out of sync with the sun. Did it, Chrissy? Yeah, because they fucked up the mat. Why? Because there weren't Chinese kids around back then to do the math. They left it up to a bunch of fucking greenies. Because they fucked up the math. Why? Because there weren't Chinese kids around back then to do the math. Way wrong, shit. That's what they left the copy over.

They left it up to a bunch of fucking Greek inbred incest fucks to do the math. And Greek kids can't do math. Yeah, but the Chinese kids can do the math. But guess what? Everything Roman is based on Greek. And listen, everything in the world is based on the Roman. So Greek people, we invented everything. Yeah. Because even the fucking astronomer that Julius Caesar used to fucking consult with, based on the Roman. So, Greek people reinvented everything. Yeah. Because,

even the fucking astronomer that Julius Caesar used to fucking consult with to figure out his fucking calendar was a Greek kid named something Jairus. I think it was

fucking a Jairus boy. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, his name was Panagiotis Jairus. Yeah, I loved it.

I loved it. Yeah, the way Giannis fucking yells about how mighty the Greeks are and he drives a Ford Fusion. Yes, look at us. Yeah,

it's just what it is. Malacca. Okay. So the Julian calendar was introduced by Julius Caesar, who was a great fucking kid, Julius Caesar, with a great haircut. He had a lot of good ideas. He had a lot of good ideas. So Julius Caesar, he wanted to solve the problem, and he consulted with prominent astronomers and the mathematicians of his time. But again, they weren't Chinese kids.

They weren't gay kids or Chinese kids, so you can't have good astronomers or good mathematicians if you don't have the gays and the Chinese. The gays fucking love signs, what sign you are, and the Chinese love numbers. Yeah, some guys like to bug chase too. Yeah, it's what, yeah. You're a fucking bug chaser.

I was, I'm a reformed bug chaser. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we've had many calendars. We've had many calendars other than the Julian calendar, which we use now. We've had the Babylonian calendar gross, Hebrew calendar yuck,

Egyptian calendar gross, Greek calendar gross, Chinese calendar gross. Yeah. Zach just was. Yeah. Now, Venetia, what was the Greek kid's name? Do you remember from Alexandria? What was his name?

Malaka. So is he like the chief engineer? So like basically Julius Caesar was like Steve Jobs and he took all the credit for the calendar. But really, it was like a lot of freaking hardworking engineers who really made it happen. And this was the kid who really deserves the credit was a Greek. He's deaf. So,

Syginus of Alexandria. That's where, and Alexandria was a part of Greece. Didn't that kid make an elevator? Wasn't he the first one he like,

I think a Greek kid made an elevator in like 10 AD. I don't know, but this guy. Didn't we do the history of elevators or somebody? I don't remember nothing.

Yeah. Yeah. Welcome't remember nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to my world. Yeah. But that was the Greek kid from Alexandria who was basically. Who he consulted. Because before it was just 10 months. And that it started with the month March, which was really interesting.

And then they counted, like, for example, October, November, December, which is eight in Greek, November, and yeah. Oh, there was a month, yes? Yes, mom. Ten, deca. So December was really, it's from Greek, that is like ten. And the months used to be, they were Mardius, Aprilus, Maya, Junius, Quintilus, Sextilus, September, October, November, December, Januarius, and Februarius.

Yeah. Why don't we change the names from September, October, November, December? Because they came September 7, October 8, November 9. Like, it's coming from Greek, Latin, more or less. So then they realized that it's only 355 days. It's kind of messing up the year. He came in. And then some of the names came from Roman goddess names.

For example, Janus, Janus the Squeak. Janus. Janus the Squeak. Janus Squeak. And Janus was the god of beginning. So January was used for the name of the first month of the year. So that's cute. Yeah, but let me double check my thinking on this.

But wasn't Janus the two-faced Roman god? I didn't think. Oh, here's a cute little fact. March was the time the soldiers would begin war. So it was named after the god of war, Mars. Yeah. Nice. It's a cute little fact.

Yeah, so wasn't Janus the two-faced god? Like he had two faces? He did. So what is this, the god of the beginning? Why is he, did he change as a god? It says that he has two faces since he looks to the future and to the past. But is he still the god of the beginning? Yes.

I guess it's like the beginning and the past. Yo, you got to admit, girl, the Roman gods are kind of whack. Like the Greeks, we had our shit a little more worked out. Okay? We had fucking Poseidon, He was the god of water. And that's it. And shut up, Smithtown water. God of Smithtown water.

Let me, gorgeous babe, let me ask you a question. Yeah. What? What? Baby gorgeous. Baby gorgeous. Let him, bro. Like whatever comes out of his mouth, it's just, you're a fucking, you're disturbed.

I'm disturbed. Let me ask you this. Yeah. Ask away. Sweetie. You're really a Pico pussy today. I'm a Pico pussy. Let me ask you this.

Yeah. Ask away. Sweetie, you're really a Pico pussy today. I'm a Pico pussy. If you're a little baby that was born on a leap year, February 29th, and that was your birthday, then when is your birthday the other three years? Is it February 28th or is it March 1st? Babe, do I look like a mathematician to you? I don't know.

I'm just asking because you got Chinese-looking eyes. Well, let's ask the Chinese kid in our podcast Yeah, Mike I looked that up, but Yeah To your elevator question Archimedes in 3rd century BC Well, he created a lever But he didn't create an elevator, did he?

He's credited with the first elevator Oh, okay Yes, okay, Archimedes Yeah, Archimedes And to your question It's February 29th. Well, February 29th is the leap year. People choose.

It depends on who you, like, the 28th or March 1st. So you get to choose it. Mm-hmm. Wow. B, when's your birthday? May 7th. Wow. Cute.

Are you Taurus? I'm a Tavros, yeah. Tavros. Now, how would you... The baby's a Taurus. How would you... He's stubborn like me. I'm very stubborn.

Oh, yes. Yeah, you're getting... Deadass. That's the Greek's biggest asset and also our biggest weakness is stubbornness. But all Greeks are like that. Now, how would you pronounce Archimedes?

Archimedes. Archimedes. I'm just trying to appeal to the Greeks. Yes. We gotta appeal to the Greeks. There's a whole segment out there that likes me but doesn't love me because I'm not a full Greek.

Yeah. But now I've teamed up with Venetia and she's going to act like our Greek translator. Yeah. We're going to do whatever video

and she's going to be their signing language in Greek. Yeah. So that's what we're going to use her for because the Greeks don't speak any language

except Greek so we got to sign to them. Do they do podcasts? Do the Greeks know how to do podcasts? The Greeks just think we're doing skits. They don't understand

what we're doing. This is a true story. Me and Chris, we went to Verna Kikladis the other day. We went to K. Me and Chris, we went to Taverna Kikladis the other day. We went to Kikladis. I saw it, yeah.

Shout out to Kikladis. One of my favorite restaurants. Why didn't you hit me up? We could have gone. We were already there. We do the Basement Yard podcast in Astoria. Which episode's

coming out soon? Otherwise we would have. But anyway, there was a fan there of us and he was a Greek kid and so Chrissy walked out and at the end I said goodbye to him and he said to his friends, he goes,issy walked out at the end, I said goodbye to him,

and he said to his friends, he goes, Malaka, you don't know these guys? This is the Jersey Boys. Called us the Jersey Boys. He called us the Jersey Boys. That's how Greeks view, you know, they don't care. Like Greeks, it's like, if you don't have your own business, they don't

really understand what you're doing. And if you're not talking jokes about Greeks, they don't care. If it's not a comedy show that they can't come to with Yaya, with the children, with all generations, and you're not talking about the mati the whole time, they don't give a fuck about what you're doing. They don't even care about John Stamos

and the kid's a beautiful Greek-faced kid. Yeah. I mean, is he a hot kid? He's a hot kid. I'd like to rub Chobani yogurt all over him and lick it off. Yeah. I mean, is he a hot kid? He's a hot kid. I'd like to rub Chobani yogurt all over him and lick it off. Yeah. Can he get punched through? John Stamos will absolutely get punched through. You're going to get punched through. What's the

Chrissy D. punch through list of 2019? Of 2019? Give me your top 10 guys who get punched through. Well, numbers one, two, and three are Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy's number one, two, and three. That little fucking squeak will get punched through. Yeah. We only got seven to deal with now.

Yeah, so I got Tom Hardy, one, two, and three. They'll get punched through. Who else do I want to punch through? I'd like to punch through LeBron James. That's number four. Yeah, number four is LeBron. He'll get punched through. Yeah.

I'll punch through Donald Duck. Donald Duck. Yeah, you start to get to animate things. You're a disturbed kid. Disturbed kid. Yeah, and then maybe fifth or sixth on the list, I'll punch through Donald Duck. Donald Duck. Yeah, you start to get to animate things. You're a disturbed kid. Disturbed kid. Yeah, and then maybe fifth or sixth on the list, I'll punch through Jessica Biel. And I think at one point, Simba, one of the people from The Lion King. Oh, right.

Lion King, Simba. Nala from The Lion King. I'll punch her through. You're fucking disturbed. Elsa from Frozen, I'll punch through. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Yeah. I thought you said you couldn't do those because of your daughter.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Okay. So scratch those. Yeah. It's Pocahontas, not Little Mermaid, but Ursula. Okay. Right.

But Ursula on Punch Through because she's older. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ursula on Punch Through. And Joe Santagato you want to punch through. Joe Santagato. And Tom Santagato.

Yeah. Joe and Tom Santagato from the basement yard and Danny Lepore from the basement yard, they're going to get some of my warm glue on their backs. and Danny Lepore from the basement, they're going to get some of my warm glue on their backs. Here's the deal. Joe and Tom Santagato are pieces. Pieces, yeah.

Those are two cute brothers that will get punched the fuck through, and Danny will get punched through after a night of drinking in a bender. Yeah, Tom Santagato is now running our digital marketing, and make no mistake, he's going to get sexually harassed in the workplace by me. Yeah, you.

If Danny doesn't think that he's going to get punched or I'm going to fog up those glasses, he's got another thing coming. He's got another thing coming. We're going to go through that basement yard studio and fucking fog up those windows and those glasses. It's what it is. That's what's going to happen. Yeah, Danny's going to have to go back on his fucking meds. It's what it is. That's what's going to happen. Yeah, Danny's going to have to go back on his fucking meds. It's what it is. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Real quick, we made that clip from Pocahontas about all the cartoons you would have sex with. Yes, yeah. And a lot of people were upset you didn't put... Yeah, well, it's because of personal reasons. I can't do it. Yeah, it's a little close. Legally, I can't say that.

I'm going to get it. Legally, I can't say that. I'm going to get it. Janus squeak, Janus squeak. Janus squeak will get upset if I say it. Yeah. Yeah. It's what it is. Saturn, the sun, moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, and Venus became Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Yeah, that's a cackle. And yeah, so you know where we're cackling. Yep. Yep. Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans didn't have an issue with days not lining up perfectly, but the Christian church wanted to make sure that religious holidays they celebrated were on their actual days. And it's like, listen, Catholic church, none of the holidays you're celebrating on the

actual days because none of the shit you're saying actually happened. So the Romans created this calendar they really don't think it happened his father bill puts one of my uvula were you there when they sacrificed my lord were you there when they sacrificed chrissy were you there in the room room when Chrissy was called to the back? Yes. Were you there in 1994? Yeah. The best thing about getting molested by a priest is, you know, you can't tell anyone about it.

Then you just go home and eat chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes like nothing happened. Were you there? I just had to sit down and eat my Stouffer microwavable meal and just drink water and just listen to my mother talk about fucking Jeopardy. Were you there when Chrissy went home late one day? Yeah. I took the body of Christ in my ass. Were you there? Yeah.

Were you? They crucified my Lord? We're talking about favorite moments from the podcast. Here it is. That's got to be up there. Father Bill? Father Bill, were you there when they sacrificed my Lord? When Chrissy walked home late.

Were you there when Chrissy's Catholic school outfit was a little disheveled? Yeah. Were you there when his mother said, why are you late? And he lied and said basketball practice ran long because Father Bill said if he said anything, he'd go straight to hell. Were you there when Chrissy blacked it out? When the memories came back and he said, I'm gonna go to hell if I

remember these things. Because Father Bill screwed me in. He screwed me in. Father Bill screwed me in. Shout out Lizzo. Shout out Lizzo. Shout out Lizzo. Because you were screwed in by a Catholic priest and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Yeah, it's just what it is. It's S-L-O-C-H-A-S. Yeah, so here we go. Now, at one point the fucking calendar was 365.25. That's too long. That's too long, Venetia. That calendar is yawning long25. That's too long. That's too long, Venetia. Yeah, that calendar is Yanni Long Days. That's too long of a day.

Sometimes I told, and you know what I told, because Yanni's got a new neighbor. Yanni's got a new neighbor now that's also a comedian friend, and I told that comedian friend, I said, listen, when Yanni Long Day, here's what your life's going to be. Yanni Long Days, when you start seeing his Twitter at 3, 4 a.m., and he's tweeting shit out like the wheels of history were greased with blood, just know that that day is going to feel like 26 hours and not 24.

It's going to be a long fucking day. It's going to be a long fucking day. And that's what the calendar was. It was a long fucking day at one point. But then Pope Gregory XIII took it upon himself to resolve the problem and came up with the Gregorian calendar in October of 1582. So they rectified the situation. They rectified it.

Venetia, are trans women women? They're women. Yeah. What does Robot Venetia say? Are trans women women? I agree with that. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, because it's a big controversy right now. You guys, that's inappropriate. So if trans women are women, and I ask you, are you a trans woman, what are you going to say? If I'm a trans woman, yep, I am a woman. Oh, but are you a trans woman? Yes, I am. Because if trans women are women, then women are trans women. There's no difference.

Death has fumes. Are you a trans woman too? I'm a woman Yeah I identify as a woman See there's a little glitch in that The problem is I brought Yaya's cookies

I brought Yaya's cookies The problem is Is what we said on Tim Dillon's podcast Is the separation of sex and gender Yeah That's where Why don't they just say it that way? Because it gets confusing

They're saying If you're not What we're saying is Is you The gender and the sex Are different things The gender can be whatever you want The if you're not what we're saying is is you the gender and the sex are different things you the gender is can be whatever it want the sex you're born as whatever you're born as so they're saying that that's why transgender woman can be a woman because they're

saying that a woman is chosen the gender is whatever you want it to be it's created by society tim said well tim said it's not even trans women who are generating this controversy he said it's like all these other like non-binary people who are trying to be whatever it is. Here's what I think. It's like trans women are trans women and women are women. And they're both beautiful things. What's the fucking problem? But also you've got to understand.

What's the fucking problem? Even what we're doing here is you're getting upset about, not upset, but you're asking these questions into the real world. You're posing these questions into the real world. We don't live in a real world. We don't live in a real world. And it's also like it's such the minority of people that are on twitter 95 of people that are outside in the world right now the only world that exists the physical world that you can actually touch and feel they don't know or care they don't know or care they're not

if a transgender person said please address me as a man then you'll be addressed as that because we i got too much shit going on i don't care man. I don't care, man. It's like I respect you for you. Whatever you want to do, you want to have a dick and make it a pussy, pussy, make it a dick. As long as you're happy, guy or girl. Here's what I resent. I do resent that everyone's like scared to answer. It's like what's going on with that? It's because some people don't know.

Well, it's good. People are still learning about this. No, because people are scared of that mob that's going to say you're a bad person. Yeah, because it's controlled by the media. It's like someone's going to come after you and go, they said this. No, because people are scared of that mob that's going to say you're a bad person. Yeah, because it's controlled by the media. It's like someone's going to come after you and go, they said this, they're bad people. Fuck you. This is weird. There's no fucking

good people out there. So if you want to come after someone because they said something, go fuck yourself, you little hypocrite. Because when somebody cleans your closet, they're going to find some dirty socks. It's the same reason to go back to Shane Gillis because we know he gets fired for saying something about Chinese people. And then SNL will have rappers on that say that they want to choke and kill women.

It doesn't matter. It's just what's acceptable and what's not by the fucking media. It's all bullshit. Here's a funny fact. Just understand that. Here's a funny fact. Shane Gillis, for saying, what did he say? He said something on a podcast.

He got dropped by his agency. UTA, which is the biggest agency in the world. Jesse Smollett. Still with UTA. Who faked a hate crime. Yeah. Still with UTA. I saw Jesse Smollett at the UTA Christmas party. Yeah, so they didn't drop him for faking a hate crime, you know, and like

if there was two people they were going to accuse that of, he would have just went with that. Yeah. And like those two guys did it uti kept him but shane gillis said something on a fucking dumb podcast because the comedians are getting held in this regard you know that it's like but it's just whatever you want to be because the rappers can do what they want because whatever bullshitting argument that you know some you know sociologists will say well this is why they do that and it's expression whatever bullshit you want you want to come up with, it's just it's different. And just accept it. Who cares?

It doesn't matter. We got the podcast now. We can say and do what we want. People are going to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and paying for more content. So it's like let them say what they want. It's all a time that they're not meant to be here. I just don't understand how you could comfortably write about the character of somebody because they said something. It's like people say all types of things. And then you act like you can judge someone, like you can cast judgment on somebody because they said something. It's like people say all types of things, and then you act

like you can judge someone, like you can cast judgment on someone because they said something. You said when they called Giuliani's 20-year-old assistant out for taking a picture with Trump. I mean, yeah, man. It's like this reporter... They don't care about her feelings. This reporter reports on some 20-year-old assistant. The story's about

Giuliani. Keep it about Giuliani, not somebody who tangentially is involved in his life. She's some 20-year-old assistant. How is she relevant to the story about Giuliani? But it's like reporters will do that now. They won't think about the girl. They won't think about her family.

They won't do anything. They will just fucking tweet it out and think second. No vetting, no consideration, no saying, hey, this isn't really relevant. This isn't germane as it would be to the fucking story. It's just a sick, sick fucking time. I don't know how you do that and look in the mirror. You cast judgment on somebody else. You know, it's like he who is without sin cast the first stone.

I'm Jesus back from the dead, and I have a podcast. It's what it is. Yeah. Jesus was a Greek kid. Well, it's the same thing. It's like there's nothing's changed about humanity. It's all the same. It's what it is. Yes. Jesus was a Greek kid. Well, it's the same thing. It's like, there's nothing's changed about humanity. It's all the same. It's all the same story. It's just the vehicle

is different now. Now you have the internet so you can connect them. It's always been this way. It's the same thing. It's just somebody, you know, yelling about it from their TV in Idaho just couldn't really galvanize that many people. And now they can. So there's nothing different. It's just at the forefront now. It's just the same. These far-right kids, they've always been around.

It's the same story. They want to put people in chambers. They want to get rid of certain ethnicities. They've always existed. Those stupid fucks always keep popping their heads up. And then on the extreme left, you think this is new. You think this whole fucking, hey, give me all your money, all your taxes, let the government run it. It's not new.

It's happened before. Mao did it. Fucking Che did it. It's like it becomes a very- Stalin did it. It's a very dark road to go down on either extreme. So hopefully the center holds here. Hopefully the center, the reasonable people, because what's happened now is the majority

is scared. Like, I could even see it in her face. She was scared to answer the question. Even though if you asked her privately, she would obviously say what the truth is. And that's what has happened to everybody on things that are just very fucking reasonable. Deadass. But I don't understand the topic 100%, so it's not my place to answer it. Sure, yeah.

You don't understand the fucking topic. Woke. Okay, I'll ask you plainly. Let's say there's— No, ask Robot Vanity. Yeah, I'll ask you plainly Let's say there's Ask Robot Venetia Because Robot Venetia also lives in this world But, you know, isn't real Same thing like Twitter

Robot Venetia, there's a, you know God bless her, there's a cyclist There's also an athlete Who's in track and field Who transitioned into women Like three, four years ago And is competing with Women who lot of women who women who are, but I have to even say this women who are biologically born women and they're

both, both these girls are cleaning up. They're destroying the competition. Do you think that's fair or not fair? Yeah. We should love it. Yeah. Venetia doesn't want any part of that question.

We should love it. We all know if you're not for that, look, in the real world, if you're not for that, that doesn't mean you're transphobic. It doesn't mean you're against trans people. If you're against trans people, you're a fucking asshole. It's a great, beautiful thing to be trans. But when you say, hey, we got these women who were born women, biological women, and then this person who was a guy up until three years ago and then decided that I'm going to start taking these hormone blockers and estrogen and stuff like that and compete with the women, you're going, okay, this is a gray area we need to talk about a little bit more.

And 99.9% of the people on the planet believe this. They don't want to live in – nobody wants to live in the gray zone. But there's these few people who will just automatically attack you and call you a transphobe because the thing that they found out is that people, you know, they don't want their reputation tarnished. And the internet is this place where you say things and people can just pluck it and take it out of context. But say, look what he said.

But you'll feed them by – but the response is feed them, right? I'm just here to say fuck you and fuck this whole era of that bullshit. It's all hypocritical. It's all made up. You can't judge a person by one fucking thing he said. And you know you're full of shit and fuck this whole hour. Absolutely. That's why you have these right-wing reactionaries taking control.

Because what you're doing is not working. You've woken up the equal but opposite fucking reaction and that's Donald Trump here, that's this fucking kid Boris something in England

and then there's another one in Australia. Because most people want the exact same thing. Most people, majority of people are people that are in the gray zone

and they don't pick either extreme. They want the same things. They want free healthcare for everybody and they want the wall. That's what it is. A little bit of both. a little bit of both a little bit of both that's look it both makes sense to me we should have single-payer health care that's right you'd have single-payer there should be

a vetting process for immigrants doesn't have to be a wall but it's like these are just things that come on and i think you legally shouldn't be allowed to discriminate against anybody i think that's a limit on freedom you shouldn't be able to say hey i don't want to hire this person for this reason i believe in those civil protections. But now when we start getting into this kind of like make-believe thinking where you're going like there's science and reality. Don't play a role. I'm going like, guy, this is scary. This is scary.

The way you're trying to socially engineer and change like reality. You're going like, come on. This is getting ridiculous, man. Yeah. Agreed. You know? Woke. Shout out Lizzo. There's got to be a little like civil. come on this is getting ridiculous man yeah agreed you know so woke you know there has to shout out lizzo there's got to be a little like civil there needs to be civil pushback

you need civil pushback where people just go hey man i'm just gonna say no to that i'm just gonna say no you can say that and believe that and you could come at me all you want and call me a bad person but the more people that speak up the more it's going to be harder to just call people bad people the reason why it's easy now is because everyone's scared everyone's quiet so if somebody does it everyone just piles on and every it's like a crazy person on the train that's what the internet has become it works that way on train cars and it works that way on the internet you know on the internet there's like a crazy person starts screaming and everyone's just like pretends it's not there well the other hard part is the people who automatically agree are the people that you agree with either.

What do you mean? Like, the people who are like, yeah, they're not people. Like, that's not what I said at all. Exactly. They ruin it for everybody. Because that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, hey, man, just tone it down. Stop trying to fucking bully people.

You're being a crazy person on a train right now. And for some reason, those rules apply to Twitter as they do on a train. There's something in human nature where people are just like, God, I don't want to deal with this. But then what happens if you allow that to keep happening, we start to get into some dark places. So it's like people need to just really not be scared to say things civilly and go, hey, man, I respect and love trans people. I support it. I support the legal defenses for them to have civil rights. I support it.

I support the legal defenses for them to have civil rights. But for you to tell me that women and trans women are the same, it's not true. I'm sorry. It's not true. They're a little different, and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you're telling me trans women are the same as a woman, then you're defining women out of existence. There's a difference. By you implying I can't say a trans woman is a trans woman,

you're the one who's implying there's something wrong with it because if there wasn't something wrong with it, why am I not allowed to say it? Right. Woke. Speaking of choosing sides, what side do you think was correct? I just had to get some things off my chest. Yeah.

The Julian calendar. I brought you guys cookies. Which calendar do you guys agree with more? The Julian calendar or the Gregorian calendar? I like the Julian calendar just because I like his. And a guy, I like a guy with a Caesar haircut. Yeah. Well, that's the thing.

If you notice, they all had Caesar haircuts for like a thousand years. The hairstyle didn't change. Yeah. I like a guy with bangs. You would think at one point some guy would say, hey, why don't you try just fucking pushing it back and see what happens? Yeah. See what happens. Well, they did. They tried pushing it back and see what happens? Yeah, see what happens.

Well, they did. They tried pushing it back, see what happens. And then six million people died. I didn't even get that one. It was the Holocaust because the Germans pushed it. White Johnson. White Johnson. Can we just edit it out?

I didn't even understand that one. It was just a swing and a miss joke. What can you do? But that's the thing about you because you're Vladimir Guerrero. Sometimes you take big swings with that big butt and they either clear the fence or you fall down. It's just what it is. You've got to take shots. You've got to take fucking shots.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and if you do take certain shots that the hospital has to give you, chlamydia goes away. That's what it is. There's different types of shots you can take that solve different problems. Solve different issues. Yeah, I got no more drip. What do you like, Venetia? Do you like Gregorian or Julian? I like the Gregorian, but I thought it was interesting that the English and the British colonies didn't recognize it until 1752.

So basically, there was like 11 days difference between both. So a lot of things that are written in history have different dates. Like, for example, Isaac Newton has two dates for his birthday, the 25th of December, 1642. And the Gregorian calendar states that he was born January 4th, 1643. So when's his real birthday, guys? Like always, it's a Catholic Church that came in here and messed everything up. Because everybody was okay. They were okay with this, you know, with the year being a little longer or whatever. And then the Catholic Church is the one that came in and they said, Hey, we don't like this because we want to make sure our religious holidays are celebrated on their actual days.

Like it matters. Like it matters. Like it fucking matters. In October 1582, Pope Gregory took it upon himself to resolve this problem, and that's when the Gregorian calendar came to be. So right now, what is it? It's a combination

of the Julian and Gregorian. It's a combination of all the Hebrew, the Chinese. So it's kind of like evolved. We have a trans calendar. In a way. Our calendar's trans. No So it's kind of like evolved. We have a trans calendar. In a way. Our calendar's trans. No, it's not trans. It's a calendar. It's a calendar.

It's not trans. It's a calendar. Yes! Yes! That was actually a great fucking moment right there. That was about calendars? Yes! So listen, at the end of every episode, what we like to do is read out, well, not what we like to do, what we guarantee is when you join our patreon patreon.com slash bay ridge boys and you

create a funny name we well any name we read out all the newest members of the patreon we encourage you guys to make a funny name but if you can't think of a funny name who cares you can change it later and then maybe we'll read it maybe we won't it doesn't matter we just you just want to hear your names right out so we got the names names. And some of them are really, really funny. And then we're going to pick the best one. And we call it the PPW, the Pseudopenis of the Week. Okay? Because hyenas have pseudopenises.

So here we go. Brett, straighten on to that. I'll boot, scoot, and boot your flutes from Saskatoon. Saskatoon. Oh, he's a Canadian kid. Brett, straighten on to that. I'll boot, scoot, and boot your flutes from Saskatoon. Oh, he's a Canadian kid. Brett Straight non-tute that'll boot, scoot, and boot your flutes from Saskatoon. Very good. Nice.

Very good, but I'm saying it's a Clyde Drexler, even though we're starting with it. Big Al catapult me over the wall with the witch hazel and I'll clean my ass. He'll do it himself when he gets to the other side. Patty Flyballs deck the halls, tucked back my balls. Yeah, that's a winner. That's a winner. He's the front runner. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Then we got Hunger Martinez. That's a goodie. Yeah. Dylan, full of fumes, little peace, gambling, prob in Vegas. Up there? I think he just took the lead. It's a horse race. That kid's in the lead. Then we got non-tootie, turkey slurpy cut lead. It's a horse race. That kid's in the lead.

Then we got non-tootie turkey slurpee cutie. That's a real good one. Clyde Drexler. Yusuf, not a muzzy, got a situation with a couple Hispanic mothers. Yeah. Oh, man, the originality is getting off the charts. He's in contention. Then we got Danielle LaPierre.

Sounds like Pete. Yeah, straight to the back. Then we got Tyler Turkey with a Leroy slurpee taking glue naps on the love sack of Sullivan. I mean, is he the winner? Jesus Christ. He's so good. Then we got Shane California Wasp with an average peace star. That's a goodie, but he's a wrong error.

Then we got Dan. Then we got Dan. Make no mistake. I rigged the election. Petaski. Just caught me off guard. He's a goody, but he can't compete with the other guys. Then we got Lexi Chachiato, which is funny because she's got a Ginzo last name.

Always. Then we got Dennis Nontoot Ursula's Blowys receiver, Little Mermaid's Finn Pussycracker. Are they back? Yeah, I mean, I could give her the crown or him the crown. Okay, then we got Jesse. Then we got Jesse, ethnically ambiguous

last name. Then we got Jesse, ethnically ambiguous last name, but definitely half a sauce monkey. That's a goodie wrong arrow. Then I get Garrett. I just want to hear Chrissy try to say my last name. Kosmarszczyk. You know, that's a good one because.

K-A-C-M-A-R-C-Y-C-Z-Y-K. Polish kid. You're a Polish kid. You're a Polish kid, and that's a lot of self-awareness. I'm giving that an honorable mention. Yeah. Here we go. Fuck impeachment.

Trump 2020 for life. Make America cute again. I mean, that kid's just going straight to the point for what he likes. It's just what it is. Then we got Josh. We got to put him on a different list. Yeah, it's called the watch list. Yeah, kids on the watch list.

Then we got Josh, CBK Thomas. Straight to the back. Elijah Milton. Straight to the back. Elijah's a nice name. Yeah. It's a nice stalling. Then we got Caps Lock Daniel, Crack Me Open, and Gorilla Glue Me Back Morales.

It's a goodie. Yeah. It's a goodie, but it's a good, and Gorilla Glue Me Back Morales. It's a goodie. Yeah. It's a goodie, but it's a goodie. Gorilla Glue Me Back is funny. Real good. Eunice Lee. Nice. Hello.

Welcome, Asian. Straight to the back. Adam Cristolini. How you doing? I got the garlic. I got the garlic for you. Then we got Carly. Nicholas.

Wow. Wait. Oh, hey, Carly. Hey, Josh. Who's Nicholas? What? Nicholas Moore. Straight to the back.

Straight to the back. Carly. Josh. Enrique F? What? Nicholas Moore. Straight to the back. Straight to the back. Carly. Josh. Enrique FF Favola. See, a nice simple one like that once in a while is refreshing. Then we got half freaking, half muzzy, 100% cuzzy. I mean. Yeah.

I mean. You like that? How someone hasn't hit that one yet? Yeah. I mean, I may have to go with him as the winner. Okay. Then we got Saza and Selena. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I may have to go with him as the winner. Okay. Then we got Saza and Selena. Okay.

Yeah. Anthony DeCibio. Straight to the back. Straight to the back. He's probably from Long Island. I mean, yeah. Then we get, can't think of a good name. I'm an FF.

Send me to the back. Yeah. I mean, creative points. You may have to give the creative points to him. Then we got Greg broke up with my chick to get cracked open by a true FF Lorenz. Clyde Drexler. Christine Egyptian, but not a muzzy sailor. Very nice. Clyde Drexler.

This guy says, Andrew, I live in the back, voked. Straight to the back. Fariel, a toot for life, but a non-toot for the boys. Abbas. Straight to the back. Kind of Clyde Drexler. Then we got Robin Negrete, Mary Callahan,

Nathan Martinez, Jacqueline Henry, Alex Faison, and then Joey Uncut, Not Unclean Walls. Good one. Clyde Drexler. Huh? M. Oh, and M. Then we just got one letter M. I like M. I guess that's V

for Vendetta. So who wins? Oh, God. I think I'm going with the Cousy kid because of just the originality. The simplicity plus the originality. So you like half Rican, half Muzzy, 100% Cousy. Yeah. And that's good. That's a nice diversity pick, too.

Yeah, but listen, that was an awesome list. More than Tyler Turkey with the Leroy Slurpee taking glue gaps on the love cycle. Sullivan. I mean, that's a goodie. That's what about. Yeah, let's vote. My guys for the cozy. What do you like, Chrissy? Who do I like?

The best I like. I like Patty Fly Balls Deck. The halls tuck back my balls. It's a goodie, too. Yeah, that's one vote for him. What do you like? What are you here for? What are you here for?

I was here for the Cousy one. 100% Cousy. The Greeks are on one side. Oh, I'm here for it. Zach? I like the Muzzy. Alright, he likes the Muzzy. So he's the winner. African half Muzzy, 100% Cousy. There we go. Alright, patreon.com slash bayridgeboys, historyhainas.com

for all our merch and live tour dates. Christycomedy.com, all my live tour dates. Giannis Papas Comedy GiannisPapasComedy.com, all my live tour dates. Giannis PapasComedy.com for all his live tour dates. What's up, V? Say again? Sponsors. Oh. Oh, God.

Yeah. This is getting... Oh, well, Tank Sinatra. Well, let's just say about Tank. He was on Ellen. Tank's good news. Check it out. We love Tank.

He's a real sponsor. No, Tank Sinatra and James Altucher are our real sponsors. Tank Sinatra at Tank's good news. Tank's good news at Tank Sinatra. And then James Altucher owns a stand-up in New York. He told us

whatever we want to say about it. And then the rest of our sponsors, $100 sponsors. I mean, seriously, it's like you're giving us a hundo. We're way too big for this shit already. So I appreciate it. I mean, Nutrition Made Fun, fucking whatever bullshit. Can we just post $100 sponsors on Patreon and they're just there? I mean, you know, it's like after a while, it's just like, what do you want me to say? Nutrition Made Fun.

Dr. Sandra is easy. Wants to do fucking stand-up. 9th Street Auto Collision on Long Island. CBD script. I mean, you know, what's the other one? Yeah. It's taking up too much time. Dr. Harvey Spencer cracked me up with a smile.

A healthy, happy smile in Rock Hill, South Carolina. We got Nutrition Made Fun with Matt Koch. Go follow him on Instagram. We got CBDscript.com. Check him out. Promo code Hyenas15 or Wild. I can't remember. And the other one you go to is, of course, Lakeside Maple.

Oh, yeah, that's a decent one. He should be at 500, though. Yeah, I mean, that kid's got to be. I can't wait until 2020 comes because the money's going up. Yeah, the money's just going up, guys. We hope you enjoyed 2019. You did help us. We always respect you.

Venity is going to make you an offer. Either you can't refuse or you refuse because it's a good deal. It's a good deal, but we do appreciate. Let's just give a second in 2019. Chrissy can't do it, but we will. Me, Venetia, Zach, and Mike. Take a moment to appreciate. Thank

you so much for getting us off the ground, guys. I'm talking to you, Sandra Azizi, the GI doctor. Dr. Sol's on Instagram and YouTube. Thank you to much for getting us off the ground, guys. I'm talking to you, Sandra Azizi, the GI doctor, Dr. Souls on Instagram and YouTube. Thank you to Lakeside Maple, our favorite trail mix company. You know, go put in a promo code lakesidemaple.com. Get yourself some Lakeside Maple. Thank you to Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. with Happy Healthy Smile Cosmetic Dentistry down there in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Thank you to 9th Street Auto Collision out there on Long Island and Huntington Station.

Look them up. It's not on 9th Street. That kid's marketing is horrific. Who did I forget? That's it. Cedric? Yeah, Cedric. I said Cedric.

Cedric is easy. Shout out to Dura Rushboshka. No, he's not with us anymore. Yeah. But listen. What was his website? What did we make him say? Live from the sandbox.

Live from the sandbox.com. I think we're forgetting one sponsor, though, no? Who did we lose? We lost Fedora, and who else did we lose? Just Fedora. He's the only one. The rest of them have stayed with us. Guys, here's the deal.

I'm just going to say it on air. If you want to stay for us in 2020, you're going to get one shot out a month at the price that you're at. But otherwise, if you want it every week, you've got to move up to where Tank and James Altucher live. Yeah, Tank and James Altucher live in the $500 level, and if you guys really want to get wild and show your support, you can join the million-dollar tier and get the

Tim Dillon Secret episode. And also, we'll read your name out on the podcast. Yeah, so... It'll call you. Yeah, it will call you. You get everything the $25 members get, plus the Tim Dillon secret pockets for a million dollars. And listen, thank you to every single one of our matriarchy members at patreon.com slash bayridgeboys.

You are the reason why we're doing this podcast. Don't forget that. In 2020, that's how this shit works. Keep us going. Every one of your subscriptions, it all adds up. We have increasingly taken this podcast more and more seriously

because of you. This is a family. It's a community. Talk to each other. Keep posting content on the Patreon. It's cracking me and Chrissy up. So we love you guys.

We hope you have a happy, healthy, safe new year. Have a happy, healthy, safe new year and be excited for 2020 because it is four more years of Donald Trump.