History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 108 - Neil Degrasse Tyson is WILD!

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

The Cuzzies were picked to interview screwed in kid Neil deGrasse Tyson for Raw Dog Comedy on Sirius XM, and make no mistake he's got some wild takes on Christmas and and he's not afraid to give you a long day about em! Awesome guest and good hang! Recorded at the Sirius XM studios.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Hey, yo! Welcome to the History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano. That's Giannis Pappas. We have Neil deGrasse Tyson coming in, and I'm holding in a fart. Yeah, we're hoping he comes in and stays in. That is our goal. Our first question is, does the universe fart? Does the universe fart?

Yeah, we're going to ask him questions that nobody's ever asked him before I mean we're started we started the podcast a few minutes before he's coming in cuz we got to get warmed up and we got To get anything. I'm gonna say that's gonna garner away Sean she and we got to get it out of my system now Yeah, I mean so Paul over at Sirius thought it was ripped by the way. Yeah, he's jacked He pulled out his abs and I went a peyoing because I'm a celib'm backed up i'm warned up yeah i mean neil degrasse tyson's getting kissed on the lips yeah i mean paul paul drives in from colorado to come to work every day i mean he's a wild kid it's just i mean you know paul likes pain he likes to hurt himself yeah so he just drives in from scranton pennsylvania and his mom's fucking buick yeah i mean the kid

drives into seaacaucus. Yes, Seacaucus. He's a wild kid. He works out at 1.30 in the morning. What I want to know from you, Paul, is what are you hiding? I mean, the kid drives all the way from Scranton to Seacaucus, parks his car, and then runs into New York like Forrest Gump. Yeah, and then, you know, it's one of the biggest guests of our career.

We're at the SiriusXM beautiful studios in Midtown Manhattan, and Zach Isis is dressed in a Santa hat and a Chewbacca sweater that has special needs. I mean, Neil deGrasse Tyson is going to come in. I think we gave a kid a make-a-wish to push the buttons on the soundboard. I mean, could he have picked a better day to come in looking like somebody who needs to be put right back into Bellevue because they walked out without permission? And the kid's wild. Yeah.

And Vanity is in the back. And Mikey Suarez, Mikey Emoji Face is here in the back, too. And the kid's wild. Yeah. And Vanity is in the back. And Mikey Suarez, Mikey Emoji Face is here in the back, too. And Vanity gave notes. And Mike is breathing heavy. It's what it is. And when Zach got here, he was like, he had a real 25-year-old moment. Yeah.

24. You're 24? 24. Jesus Christ. He's only 24 years old. 24 and me. So he came in here. He goes, Zach goes, you know, because Zach is a rapper. He's a rapper.

So he was like, I made it here. I'm in SiriusXM. I don't know how this happened. I don't know how I got here, but I'm here. And we saw him having that moment. And me and Chris were just like, you took the train here, stupid. Yeah. It's not that big a deal.

I know it feels big to you. You're going to be homeless in a year. Yeah, I know it feels big to you because you're a few feet away from Sway's studio. But make no mistake, he never listened to your mixtape. And he never will. No, he will. No, for... No, we're going to get into it because make no mistake, Zach, just like the key to my success is Giannis, the key to your success is Jan.

Yeah, you need Jan in your life. Yes, you need Jan. I agree. I agree. He can get me into those buildings. And you can get him in any building if you put him in a Jansport. Yeah, you can fit him in. I mean, the kid's a pipsqueak.

The kid's a pipsqueak, Ben, and he keeps messaging me on Instagram. Yeah, I mean, but I can't see the messages because they're not over my phone. The kid's too short for me to even see his messages. I'm double-tapping him. Every time he messages me, I forget who it is. And my first question to him is, how old are you? Because that's what I ask anybody who DMs me who kind of looks like a girl.

I just ask how old they are. And if they're over 18, I say, send your books. That's not good. Yeah, I mean, listen. Jan, this is the time of year Jan needs to be picking up a lot of extra work. There's a lot of elf work that's going around this time of year. It's what it is. So I want the kid to go get a little extra work.

I want to see him at the mall. I want to put Jan in a mailbox and mail him to my daughter. He'll fit. Yeah, we got to start bringing Jan in.. I want to put Jan in a mailbox and mail him to my daughter. He'll fit. Yeah, we got to start bringing Jan in. We got to start bringing Jan in. Yeah. What's his Instagram, Zach, so the fans can know who Jan is? It's Jan the second official on Instagram.

Yeah, the Instagram names are too long. Yeah, it's too long. You guys got to work on your marketing. And it's Jan with a J. Yeah, and your marketing shirt that you gave me, I have no idea what it is. I don't even think it's your shirt. I think you went to fucking Rite Aid and just got a $5 shirt and said, here's my merch. Listen, when Neil deGrasse Tyson gets in here, we got some nice questions lined up.

Yeah, because seriously. We should have tweeted this out yesterday to our fans and asked what the fans want to know. Yeah, we should. But then it would have just been wild. It would have been weird. They would have been like, what if the Nazis won World War II? Would they steal Neil deGrasse Tyson? It would be questions like that.

Yeah, we wouldn't have fans saying, Neil, we know you're a scientist. Here's the thing. I got this little weird thing on my dick. What is it? What is it? You guys, that's inappropriate. Our fans would be like,

Hey, Neil deGrasse Tyson, is there a concoction you can make that I can make cement in my sink so I don't have to fucking, you know, I can have a business out of my sink? Neil deGrasse Tyson, here's the thing. Now, I'm not saying climate change doesn't exist. I'm just saying,

how did the Chinese do it? Yeah. It's character. Yeah. How did they pull that off? How did those fucking little guys pull that off? Neil deGrasse Tyson,

is there any way that you could give Donald Trump a letter for me? Yeah. Now, Neil deGrasse Tyson, here's the question. Now, I've seen all these documentaries about UFOs,

and I know that the Navy just said that they saw a UFO, but how come fucking UFO kids always look fucking Chinese? I mean, these fucking kids Chinese, because they're fucking Chinese everywhere. Yeah, it's a character piece. Yeah, it's what it is.

But do you ever notice that, that the Asian kids do look a little Chinese? Yeah, what, the Asian kids look Chinese? No, yeah, that's a stupid point. That's why Sirius decided to have us in here, because they just wanted three scientists to sit down. It's what it is, yeah. Cuz, make no a stupid point. Yeah, you're Frank's a beast. That's why Sirius decided to have us in here, because they just wanted three scientists to sit down. It's what it is. Cuz, make no mistake, yeah.

We have, and Neil's a real alpha male. Yeah. And it's just going to be fun for two girls like us to interview an alpha male. That's what it is. I mean, Neil deGrasse Tyson is a, make no mistake, though, Neil deGrasse Tyson is a kid from the BX. He's a kid from the fucking Bronx. I mean, the kid is just straight. He's an outer borough kid.

It's an outer borough kid. You know what I would like to see? Neil deGrasse Tyson box and Mike Tyson do science. That's what I'd like to see. That's what I'd like to see. Should we set that up? Should we ask him? Is that an okay question to ask?

Absolutely. When we get big, we'll set that up and we'll do it at fucking Staples Center like Logan Paul. Yeah. Here's what's interesting is Neil deGrasse Tyson is a kid from the Bronx. Not a lot of kids from the Bronx get into science. No, they don't. Yeah. They don't.

Okay, so we're just going to do the things we want to do without him and just prepare it. Yeah. Okay, so let's see how it feels. Yeah, a lot of them don't get into science. Yeah. A lot of them get into my mother's bank account like my dad. That's no gas. Yeah, because you know what?

If we don't even get a chance to get that joke off, at least we just got it in. At least we can get it in. Because we're a podcast. Word. We take down the fourth wall. We take down the fourth wall.

We let our fans know too much. It's just what it is. I got a message from a fan who says he's a bounty hunter. Yeah. And he listens to our podcast. He said, tell Chris specifically to stop talking about where you move to because I'm paid to

think about how the worst people think. And I can find out where you live. Yeah. So tell Chris to stop saying where you move to. I just said Westchester. Yeah. It's Westchester. It's Westchester.

That's it. Because, make no mistake, I'm a horny kid because I've been celibate. And NDT, Neil deGrasse Tyson, could get kissed on the lips immediately. You're going to get punched through. Yeah, I mean, because you're— If we're going to say it, we've got to say it before he gets in here, because his publicist will strike it down. Yeah. His publicist is an Eastern Hemi who means business.

Yeah, that's what it is. I saw her yesterday, and she's fucking—yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I asked about her, and she wouldn't. Yeah, yeah. I mean— Wei Shuxian! Yeah, Wei Shuxian, yeah.

We're just joking a little bit. We're just kidding around. No, they're great people. Everything's great. Everything's great. I'm really excited for Neil to come in. I have a feeling he's going to cancel. Yeah, I have a feeling we're just going to end up interviewing Venetia.

I have a feeling that they're on their way here now, and his publicist is doing just a last-minute, who are these guys? And she's going to play one minute of one episode and turn that car around. Yeah, and Venetia, we're leaving after this. We're not having another meeting. Yeah, I got to go to my kid's Christmas party.

Yeah, we got to go. Yeah. So it's what it is. We're excited to have Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh, Neil deGrasse Tyson is checked in downstairs. He's here. Paul wrote it on this napkin that was supposed to be concealed, and I just put it on the camera.

I mean, Paul, what you're going to learn about history hyenas is there's no secrets. Yeah, yeah. Es lo que es. Yeah, so Neil deGrasse Tyson hyenas is there's no secrets. Yeah. Yeah. As low as. Yeah. So Neil deGrasse Tyson's in. He's teaching a master class. Master class costs 90 bucks if you want to hear a specific one. Yeah.

Or 180 if you want an all access pass. That's a lot of money. And listen, Giannis is going to be the one always saying the word master class because I'm too German of a kid to say the word master. Yeah. It's just not a good word coming out of your face. I can't say it with my Nazi head, so Giannis is just going to say it,

and I'm just going to sit silently. Yeah, and we went into the, what is it called, the SUV lane? What is that lane called? The HOV lane. We went into the HOV lane this morning, which means you have to have at least three people in your car to not get pulled over by a cop, and then we had a cop right there staring right at us,

and Chris goes, we're getting pulled over, pulled over. But because Chris's head is so big, the kid thought six kids were in the car. Yeah, well, and also it's one of those things where it's like- We didn't get pulled over. Where it's like the rules specifically say that you have to have three people or more to be in the HOV lane or two white guys. It's up to you. It's just-

As low-key as. That's what the New York, he said, if it's two white men, that's the same as three others. Yeah, I mean, when that trooper was looking straight at us, he was looking right at us, he was going, is that Sean Terry and Patty Mulroney? I can't give those firefighters a ticket. They get courtesy. He pulled us over, and he just gave us a napkin that said, a lot of 14s. Yeah, because make no mistake, when I got my glasses on and you're in the passenger seat,

you look like you're a firefighter who's got some charges and I look like your lawyer. Because make no mistake, I'm as present. I'm friendly with my present. And I'm in the present right now because I have to take a shit and I'm not going to do it because it's pushing on my prostate and it's keeping me in the moment. Why? So I want to be in the moment for Neil. So unfortunately, I'm going to flare my prostate. Here it comes.

Eckhart Tolle. Shout out to Eckhart Tolle. shout out to eckhart tolle with the president yeah absolutely there he is yeah yeah neil degrasse tyson has tyson he's in the building everybody how are you sir thank you so much hi hey that's chris i saw you the other day honest nice to meet you pleasure yes yes yes we were there yeah yes we're happy in your house yeah bear over there. I mean, that's a kid who should be back in the hospital he escaped from. This is Zach, our sound guy, and Zach's a beautiful human being. He's some Star Wars character. Yeah. He just saw it, and I think he got a little over-enthused.

I did. I liked it. Did you catch it at midnight? Like 10.30. Ooh, is that allowed? Yes. It was yesterday. A pre-midnight showing. Listen, Zach has tattoos on his fingers. He breaks the rules. Yeah. 10.30. Ooh, is that allowed? Yes. It was yesterday. A pre-midnight showing?

Listen, Zach has tattoos on his fingers. He breaks the rules. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. That's what it is. He's a kid who's never going to have a real day job.

You can't go into an interview. I'm just following you guys wherever you go now. Yeah. So it's such an honor to have you, man. Yeah, yeah, guys. Thanks for having me. Good. Thanks for being here.

Yeah, you're a kid from the Bronx. Even though this is radio, I know you've got some cameras. I'm all blinged out for it. Look at this. I love it. I just want you to know I wear my Starry Night vest. Yeah. But I also have Starry Night pocket square.

How about that? That's beautiful. That's very nice. Yeah. You're put together. That's what we know. Yeah. We're three New York kids.

We got Brooklyn and the Bronx. You got Bronx in the house. Yes. Yes. Queens over there. Queens? Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I'm not a big Queens fan. Queens in the house doesn't have the same. It doesn't. Brooklyn in the house. Yes. Yes. Queens over there. Queens? Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm not a big Queens fan. Queens in the house doesn't have the same. It doesn't. Brooklyn in the house. Yeah. Bronx in the house. Queens. Queens, yeah.

Across the river. Yes, yeah. Queens, we're still here. Don't forget us. Yeah. That's what Queens is. Actually, though, Queens lately has really gotten quite hip. It's got all the immigrants, so it's got all the good food.

Yeah. And then you got to remember, Queens has both New York airports. Yes. And the tennis food. Yep. And then you got to remember, Queens has both New York airports. Yes. And the tennis center. Yes. You know, so, and it had the World's Fair. Yes. Both of them.

Yes. I used to work at the tennis center when I was a kid. That's what a lot of Queens Brooklyn kids would do at the U.S. Open. I was a ball boy and then a court attendant. You were one of these kids that ran across the thing to get the ball? Yep, me.

I can't, I look, even when I was a kid, I said, can't a machine do that? This is such manual labor don't we haven't we landed on the moon and we have child labor gathering tennis balls on the on a field well and tennis is such like a you know a respectable like you know uh elite sport so like in wimbledon in the french open they get like you know politicians children it's a it's a job it's a beautiful job but the US Open for whatever reason

New York City they just go into the outer boroughs and they get the kids off the streets and we do it so we didn't even know the respect of the game

you know what I mean like we're ball boys we're cursing you're like the ball's over there you're like go get it go get the ball over there bitch

on the side I'm like guy I mean this guy Federer's wild yeah so it's good so thanks for coming in. You're teaching, finally, what took so long for them to ask you to teach a master class?

You know, don't tell anybody this, but they asked me a few years ago. And they said, can you teach a course in astrophysics? And I said, no, because I already do that. And I write books. And I was a professor. And I'm not going to come to a master class and teach astrophysics there. I've done that 10 times over. Here's what I can do.

Let me teach you how to teach. I think a lot about that. Yeah. And they said, no, that's not commercial enough. I said, fine, goodbye. Yeah. No, but money, and it's this, and you'll be in the company of these other – I said, no, I'm sorry.

I've already do this other thing. And then a few years later they came back and said, we'll do it. Yeah. And so I don't know. The power of no. That's what it's about. So, yeah. So this master class, which I get, it was released yesterday, is a,

it's me showing you what's been going on under the hood all these years. And under the hood is, when I'm talking about the universe to you, there's a lot going on in my head before those sentences come out. And not to destroy the magic of these moments, but I'm pulling a lot out of my utility belt to decide what I'm gonna say and and how I'm going to say it, depending on who it is that's listening. Yeah, because you're a great communicator.

And it's not an easy thing to talk about. No, it's not. And so I guess my biggest compliment is when people say, oh, you're so natural at it. But I say, you have no freaking idea what was behind it. Another one, I'll give a public talk, for example, and, you know, applause, and someone comes up to me and says, oh, you were having a good time up there. Yeah. That's one response. Another one is, you were working hard up there.

To a person. Yeah. That person that said it is a school teacher. Yeah. Because they see what was going on. Yeah. Yeah. So this class, it's an exploration

of what it is to be scientifically literate and how to communicate that literacy. I mean, it sounds wild. Anything to get inside Neil deGrasse Tyson's head, I'm paying money for it. I'm going to take an edible and pay 90 bucks and strap up and put it on my seatbelt. Why? If I'm going inside Neil's head. It's inside the head. It really is.

You're going to see what I'm thinking when I'm thinking. side of the head it really it really is you're gonna see what i'm thinking when i'm thinking i mean that's it's yeah that's to me it's like i because i always think about that with great thinkers like you it's like what do they sit and think about because it's like i know like me i'm like i just feel like there's just cartoon music playing in my head all the time i'm just an idiot and i'm like what as long as you're not hit by an anvil yeah what about one of the greatest thinkers of our time so that's something like even you explain it. I'm like, I was on the fence and I'm in now. Well, so here's one of the sentences that I shared in the course.

It's one of the great challenges in life is knowing enough about something to think you're right, but knowing not enough about that same thing to know that you're wrong Wow, I like that. I like that a lot of people in that zone. Yeah who take a flat earther for example They all know they're right That's because they don't know enough to know that they're wrong, right and the people trapped in that sort of eddy it's a that they're wrong. And the people trapped in that sort of eddy, it's an intellectual turbulence where you think you know what's going on and you don't. So part of the challenge of the educator

is getting them to understand why they're not thinking it's right. And you can't just say, oh, you're an idiot. You don't know, because then they'll dig their heels in stronger. We know this, right? If someone wants to fight you, you're going gonna fight back. So it requires some art of persuasion.

You say, well, why do you think that? And have you considered this? And what about that? And then they arrive at the right answers themselves. And then they take ownership of their new knowledge. Otherwise, I don't want anybody to say, this is true because Tyson said so. Then I failed as an educator.

Right, yeah. Then you see it's more about the cult of personality and not the truth. Exactly. I had somebody who was sure, a full-grown adult man, sure we never landed on the moon. And I said, okay, so this is, here I go, ready? Do you ever get frustrated and just go,

you're fucking stupid. You're fucking just stupid. Why? I want to help you, but you're dumb. You barely slide into a human being, and I'm sorry. So I said, you know, when he said this, I said, it is time. Okay? So we had a conversation, and I said, you know, here's the Saturn V rocket.

You saw the rocket? Yeah. Do you know where the astronauts are? They're in, know, here's the Saturn V rocket. You saw the rocket? Yeah. Do you know where the astronauts are? They're in like the top inch of that rocket. Everything else is fuel. Where do you think they were going with all that fuel? You can calculate how much fuel that is. It's enough to go into orbit, leave orbit, go to the moon, orbit the moon, come back

to the moon and come back to Earth. It's that much fuel. Okay? So where do you think they were going to? The A&P? Wow, shout out to A&P. Old school. I know.

Old school. The other grass just went old school. I totally went old school on you. They were going to Woolworths. They were going to the Five and Dime. The Five and Dime? Where are you going? Optimo cigars.

Okay, no. Where are you going? Whole Foods? So, Optimo cigars. Ballantyne Ale, right? There you go. New York City reference. That's a big ad in Yankee Stadium, was it Ballantine? Yeah.

What's the three, the rings? With the, um... Uh, Michelob. Michelob. Michelob. Yeah. Anyhow, so, so I, so, so I, so I tried to work through some reasoning. And you know what he said to me? He said,

Neil, if you tell me we landed on the moon, then I'll believe it. And I said, no, that's not how this works. Right, right. Because that's the culting of information. Right. No, it's not true because I said so. Right.

It's true because it's true and you need to understand why. Right. And when you understand why, I don't ever want you to reference back to me ever again. You should be able to understand it. Take ownership of it you understand why, I don't ever want you to reference back to me ever again. You should be able to understand it. Take ownership of it, dude. Yeah, right. And I know I've

succeeded if once I've taught you what I've taught you, you forgot that I even shared it with you. I'm going to have me and my four-year-old daughter going to watch your master class. Yeah. Even my four-year-old daughter, we're going to start thinking like Neil from right now. Start them early. This is how it is. She's four years old and we're going to do it. Enough eating your boogers. We're starting to talk like Neil from right now. Start him early. This is how it is. She's four years old and we're gonna do it.

Enough eating your boogers. We're starting to talk science with Neil immediately. Now why do you think... Wait, was she saying that to you to stop eating your boogers? Yeah, well that's the thing. Her mom yells at us. He didn't say who was saying that to who. I know her mom always yells at me.

She's like, where's she, you know, I'm like, our daughter's eating her boogers. She's like, yeah, look at you. That's what you're doing. Wild. Do you think there's like an assault on objective reality now? Yes, yes. What is going on? How did this happen?

Because people, I don't know who to blame. Let me be a little heretical. Let me first blame psychologists, okay? I don't really want to blame them. I'm just doing that for the fun of it, okay? So what does a psychologist, a psychologist will tell you, your feelings matter. Okay?

They're important. And now I feel like there's no global warming. So all of a sudden, your feelings are elevated to the level of fact. Right. And you vote. So you get to control the influence of your feelings on everybody. And so I don't mean specifically emotion, happy or sad. It's just you want things to be a particular way.

And you feel that it shouldn't be what the scientist is telling you. The fact that that is given equal credence against objective truth is one of the great tragedies of modern society. And it's the beginning of the unraveling of an informed democracy. Okay, so now let's pull psychologists out of that because I just did that for fun. I think somewhere in the educational arc, we're missing, in the science class, you don't just teach what is. You need to teach, you don't just teach what is. You need to teach what is known. You teach what science is as an enterprise, what it is and how and why it works. What does it mean to be a skeptic?

What does it mean to understand information and trust that information, this information, relative to that information? All right? And so that's missing in the school system. And so if you think the earth is flat, I'm not even going to blame you. I'm going to say something happened in your K through 12 that needs to be changed so that we preempt this kind of thinking as we go forward. By the way, in a free country, you should be able to think what you want and say what you want. But if you have power over others, that's when objective reality matters,

because we all share the same objective reality, even if we don't share your personal truth. Right, wow. Do you think our comfort level as a civilization has something to do with it? Are we just too coddled? Are the amenities of modernity just driving everyone out of raising and disconnecting us with reality?

I can't argue against that. I think that's – let me say it another way. I'm agreeing with you, but I'm going to say it another way. The same people who are up there saying, oh, no climate change and Earth is flat. It was invented by the Chinese. And I read my heart out. It was invented by the Chinese. Bay Ridge broken.

Shout out. That's the real question we want to ask you, Neil. We know the Chinese invented it, but how did they do it? By a fortune. It's a character piece. Right, the whole question starts with the premise, right? That's like saying,

Dr. Tyson, what flavor, what kind of cheese is the moon made out of? Yeah, yeah. No, it's not made of cheese. The question has no meaning. Pecorino Romano, the moon's Italian.

That's low-key ass. It's a character piece. It's a character piece. You know what I learned recently? I didn't know this. The question has no meaning. Pecorino Romano, the moon's Italian. Es lo que es. It's a character piece. It's a character piece. You know what I learned recently? I didn't know this. No, Romano cheese is very structurally similar to Parmesan cheese. We know this. Yeah.

Because you grate it and it comes out in small bits. Yeah. And I learned. I think I'm right. You've got Italian roots? Yes. Okay. DiStefano is my last name.

DiStefano. All right. But I did the Ancestry.com, found it on mostly German, so now I'm confused. Yeah. I'll get back to that my last name this definitely all right. I did the ancestry calm found it I'm mostly German so now I'm confused. Yeah. Yeah, I'll get back to that in a minute if you're interested But I'm very I have so much to say on that my whole life in ten minutes Okay, I have I have issues with yeah, yeah issues to bring up to my psychologist after this interview So I think Romano is sheep's milk version of what Parmesan is.

Wow. Wow. So I've been eating sheep's milk? Sheep's milk in Romano, yeah. Yeah. And Parmesan is to the cow what the pecorino. The sheep's milk gets to the pecorino. To the pecorino, correct.

So you're saying, okay, wow. So pecorino Romano cheese is more Greek then if it's from The sheep's milk gets to the Pecorino. To the Pecorino, correct. So you're saying, okay, wow, so Pecorino Romano cheese is more Greek then if it's from the sheep's. Because Italians do the cows, you guys do the sheep's and the goats.

Goats and sheep's, yeah, sheep's, yeah. What are you talking about? I'm Greek. He's a Greek kid. He's 100% Greek. We got the whole Mediterranean here. But then 25% Turkish,

he just found out so he got a big reveal from the mortal enemy. I only recently learned, I'm embarrassed just being big reveal from the mortal enemy. I only recently learned. I'm embarrassed just being a geographically starved American. I only, like in the last five years, fully understood and now recognize the history between the Greeks and the Turks. Oh, yeah. I had not.

And that's the whole Gallipoli thing. The Ottoman Empire. Yeah, the whole thing. They gave us a few boo-boos. That's what they say about you, right? Yeah. They gave us a few boo-boos. Listen to what they say about you. That's what happened. I was on a Mediterranean cruise, and we had a Greek tour guide telling us all about the wars.

And then they got off, and then a Turkish tour guide got on. Got a whole other tour guide. You got the alien perspective. Yeah. Well, they're lying. They're lying. It's my truth that matters. Objective reality doesn't matter. And I got another one just to finish, close out the Mediterranean.

So in there I said, well, let me look at the movie Gallipoli. So I looked at it because it's the British engaging the Turks in that region. And then I realized, oh, my gosh, I just learned something. So the Brits basically got their ass whooped. Yeah. Okay? If you ask Brits what happens in battles when they got their ass whooped, they will say, oh, our command chain failed or this failed or that failed.

They will never say our opponent just whipped our ass because they were better than us. Yeah. You will never get that explanation when Britain loses a battle. Yeah. The assumption is that they would have and should have won had they not blundered in some way that they could have avoided. Yeah. Which is a good mentality. Well, sure, if you're the soldier,

but historically, that's just, it's very ego, it's your ego speaking there. But it's a good mentality to have if you're a warrior. If you're a warrior, sure. Just always looking for your mistakes. And you read the terms, so yeah, we kicked their ass, is what that was. But anyhow, so this is a slightly different

subject yeah um i i have a book that came out a couple of months ago it's called letters from an astrophysicist there's more under the hood by the way it's i'm communicating with people who have issues about life the universe and everything it's not just questions about the universe it's questions about their relationship to the universe i've got people who are wondering about a career choice. There's a professional baseball player who's in the minor league. You say he can throw a ball 100 miles an hour, can run 60 yards in 6.2 seconds. He says, but my first

love is astrophysics. What should I do? People are trying to figure this stuff out. People raised in certain religious traditions and are trying to see, okay, how can I reconcile my love and respect for God with the science I just learned at the beginning of the universe and earth and apes and all this.

So there's a lot of that in the book. Well, one of them was a request of me to do an ancestry search. Just to, in fact, it was by Skip Gates from up at Harvard. Yeah. He does that uh the pbs show yeah um finding your roots yeah so i declined because if you think about it any two people in the world have a common ancestor so if you say i'm italian well i'm going to ask you where were you born uh st john's hospital queens new york that is not Italy. Let's start there. Or Bavaria.

Okay. Yeah, that's Queens Boulevard. And you Greek dude, where were you born? I was born at NYU Hospital. A little leaf fuck. I'm from Perth Slope.. Why? So where were your parents born? My dad was born in the Bronx, and my mother was born at St. John's Hospital in Queens, New York. So this Italian gentleman here, he's born in the city. His parents are born. So what happens is people will take their ancestry back to a point that pleases them and then declare that as their ancestry. Right. And that point where you take it back is completely arbitrary.

Right. It is completely arbitrary. And there's another someone I've met. Oh, we are Swedish. And I say, well, where were you born? And they said, New York. Where were your parents born? Oh, Minnesota.

Where were their parents born? Minnesota. Where were their parents born? Minnesota. Where were their parents born? Sweden. So we're Swedish. And then you can keep going back until you move. Okay, so I'm saying since that line is arbitrary because you're just going to a point that satisfies you,

recognize that's arbitrary and do one of two things. Say, I'm a New Yorker because you're born in New York or be honest and say you're African. Yes. Because that's where we're all from. Absolutely. I'm from Africa.

You heard it here first. Not only from Africa you're African. I'm African. If you're going to say you're Italian you are more African than you are Italian. Absolutely.

Happy Kwanzaa. Do you think the world would be a better place if we just by edict just said look there's no more religions no more cultures now because the world is be a better place if we just, by edict, just said, look, there's no more religions, no more cultures now, because the world is so interconnected, we're so advanced, we're human beings. I would say, what race are you? I say, I'm the human race.

Right. Okay, fine. Now, you want to talk about culture? Fine, go ahead. Right. If you were influenced by Italian culture, fine, you eat Italian food. You say, I am influenced by Italian culture. You say, I'm Italian, I can't really.

Plus, Italy wasn't even a country until, you know, the 1800s. It was just city-states. I just read that book, Sapiens, which was a fascinating book for me. It's probably a coloring book for you. No. It's toilet reading. Yeah, look at that. It's him on the toilet.

Where would your door stop? Hold on. No, no. But what he was saying about culture, too, and it kind of made me think, number one, with countries, it's just lines on a map. It's just something that means nothing. When you're on the moon and you look back at Earth, you see Earth as nature intended you to view it.

There's no color-coded countries. It is just land, seas, clouds. Well, but at night, you got to admit, you could see a little bit because it's all lit up but North Korea's dark. Not really from the moon. Not really from the moon. You're not seeing the lights. They're not that bright enough. Or low orbit. You can change it. I'm just saying that the color-coded

boundaries, it reminds you that you're taught that. That somebody drew a line in the sand and they're going to kill you if you cross that line in the sand. And then you realize it goes even deeper than that. That somebody drew a line in the sand and they're going to kill you if you cross that line in the sand. And then you realize it goes even deeper than that. Not only will I kill you if you cross the line, you have to worship who I worship

whether or not you cross the line in the sand otherwise I'll kill you. And this gets socially, culturally entangled all the way down and frankly it's embarrassing. Well that's what we were talking about cultural appropriation. It was like, you know, in a lot of cases,

like whatever you believe your culture is, is really what, if your great-great-great-great-great grandparents saw what you were doing, they'd be mortified because that's what the people who came over and took their land, you know, pillaged and raped and conquered into their culture. So the culture appropriation, it's like, what are you talking about? We're all humans. We're all humans, like you said.

And cultures influence other cultures. So it's all one. I don't have a problem with, so you're saying get rid of, I have no interest in getting rid of the diversity of expressions of rituals. Rituals form some of the strongest taproot of civilization that we've had. The problem arises if you practicing your ritual, you have power over others and require that they practice your same ritual. That's a recipe for disaster. Agreed.

But in a pluralistic land, you celebrate people's diversity. I love it. I love eating the food that came out of this country or that country. And I'm not going gonna say make it the same No, that would take away a very important part of what it is to be human. Yeah, right Unfortunately deep down in there. There's tribalism and that's that's the unraveling of Civilization itself. It seems like because you're an astrophysicist. You've pulled your perspective back. So why it's a cosmic perspective Yeah, that's right. So you you you think broadly, how can that help people to see it the way you see it if they're not

as educated or as smart as you are to be able to grok all this kind of astrophysical stuff? Well, no. No. Yeah. I'm highly educated in ways that enable- I mean, you went to Harvard. You're a smart kid. Well, no. Shout out to Nassau Community College I mean, you went to Harvard. You're a smart kid. Well, no.

Shout out to Nassau Community College. Not everybody can get into Harvard. Yeah. No. If you judge me as smart, I would want you to have arrived at that conclusion because we had an encounter. I have. Not because you have any knowledge of my pedigree. The moment you put the pedigree forward and use that as the measure of whether someone's smart, that, no.

That's not how that works. No, but you're also saying smart stuff. I'm just saying the pedigree checks out. I heard you were smart, kid. You came in here and you started saying smart stuff. No, if someone said, believe me because I went to this school or that school, you haven't earned the person. That's you saying I'll believe you because of that. Not because I went to this school or that school. You haven't earned the person. That's you saying I'll believe you because of that. Not because I convinced you.

So that's why I never, if someone else introduced me, they might say it. But if I'm just coming out on stage, I don't say, oh, here's my background. I don't lead with my background. I felt the same way. When I first started doing comedy, I thought an accolade about me that people should know is I have

a clinical doctorate in physical therapy. And I'm, you know, an idiot from Brooklyn, but it's like I was smart in one thing. I went to my mother, highly educated. My dad was a criminal. And my mother was just like, you will not do that. You'll do this. I was like, I have a doctorate degree. And then it started to give the illusion to people that I knew everything, that I was you or something like that.

And it's like, no, no, no, I can massage your hamstrings. That's all I know how to do. And I can barely do that. You know? So it's like I. But it's like, no, no, no, I can massage your hamstrings. That's all I know how to do. And I can barely do that. You know? So it's like I... But it's a deep tissue, the hamstring. Yeah, I can get...

But I feel the same way where it's like, who cares about what your education was or any accolades? You have a moment in front of them to be all you can and should be in front of them. Even getting called to stage like you,

like very rarely, the great comedian Don Myrera, I don't know if you know his work, told me once he was like the more credits a comedian asks you to bring them up as the worst they probably are the real ones will just take their name is the credit jerry seinfeld yeah well not even that but even even even a one who's unknown like just take the stage and let me prove it correct if you laugh at me it's great there you go and so i so i feel that way academically as well. Right. Yeah. So, now, where were we right before you? No, I was saying, like, yeah.

Before you derailed the line of... Yeah. What do you know about the history of Christmas? That's what we're supposed to be talking about. Well, your master class is, I assume, going to teach people how to have more of this sort of mentality without being so educated at Harvard. Oh, what? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.

That's the second time you mentioned Harvard. You don't got to be a genius to be a smarter kid. No, so all I'm saying is, I remained curious after school. Think about what happens in school now. You come out at, it could be just before summer break, or maybe you just graduated. We know people, if not among ourselves, who will take your class notes and toss them in the air and say, School's out! Plus, it's a song!

School's out forever! School's out forever! You know, who's that? It's a song. Yeah. School's out forever. School's out forever. You know, who's that? It's Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper. So there's even a song celebrating this. I'm saying, what? Your only job was to learn.

Now you're glad you're not supposed to learn anymore? Yeah. So again, I'm not blaming you. I'm saying in the school, something is wrong if you are glad it's over. And so something needs to change so that your curiosity is stimulated. So when you graduate, that's the beginning of your education, not the end of it. And not to sound cliche, but what do you think the word commencement means? It means beginning.

Right. Right. The commencement speech is the beginning speech. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I never thought about that. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. We're basically blaming the educators. I am. Yes. Yes. They got to figure out a better way like you do. With a little detour to the psychologists. Psychologists, educators, and the Chinese.

Always got to blame the Chinese. Do you know about the history of Christmas? Do you have any? Psychologists, educators, and the Chinese. Always got to blame the Chinese. The poor poor. Do you know about the history of Christmas? Do you know of any? I know it's a relatively recent phenomenon. I mean, the idea that you would celebrate a birthday is also very modern. In Christianity, your birthday was assigned

to the christened name that you received. So there'd be the day of the saint after whom you're named. Yeah. And so I was christened, but there's no Saint Neil. So I was actually- There will be. No, no.

When you go, there will be. Yes. I'm going to canonize you. You're going to canonize me. There's, I don't think anybody knows this. My baptismal certificate says Cornelius. This is a Saint Cornelius. So I'm actually Cornelius de Grasse Tyson in my baptismal certificate says Cornelius. This is a saint Cornelius Yeah, so much the Cornelius de grass Tyson in the baptismal certificate, but I'm otherwise Neil

Yeah in my birth certificate so so your your your birth was celebrated on the day ascribed to that saint So the idea of giving birth giving presents for a birthday is a is. Now, Christmas, all right, this was a brilliant maneuver by the Catholic Church back when all Christians were Catholic. And so what do you do? You got all these pagans. They're running around. Yeah. Doing their pagan shit.

Doing their pagan stuff. Dancing naked around the bonfire. Jesus. Pagan stuff. Which sounds like a good time. It sounds like, good time that's exactly what i'm gonna do after your master class yeah i mean the pagans partied a lot better than the christians did so here's what happened so uh one of the set celebrations um took place

a few days after the first day of winter okay Okay? So today, we're around that time, around the first day of winter. Well, what's happening? I don't know if you noticed, but as you approach winter, the sun, the arc of the sun from sunrise to sunset gets lower and lower in the sky as the days go by. That's why in the summer,

sun is very high in the midday. In the winter it's very low. Shadows are long. The ancients noticed this. As you approach December 21st the arc got lower and lower and lower. And you're a sun-worshipping civilization this is some scary stuff. Because if this keeps going

the sun will dip below the horizon and never come up again. That's scary. You pray to your gods the sun will dip below the horizon and never come up again. That's scary. So what do you do? You pray to your gods, and the movement of the sun slows down. It stops. Solstice. Stationary sun.

Armistice. Stationary arms. Okay? It's Latin. Sol is the sun. Stice stops. So the sun stops getting lower, and then you begin to notice it come back up. That happens a few days after December 21st.

That happens around December 25th. Celebrations abound. Now, you want everyone to be monotheistic, not polytheistic. So what you do is you co-opt pre-existing celebrations. Smart move. Smart move. Tactical, marketing, strategic, all of the above. So you say, well, while the birth of Jesus we think of as a very important event today, nowhere near as important as Easter.

Easter, that's the canon right there. That's Jesus dying on the cross for your sins. The fact that he was born is kind of incidental. Everyone's born. He's not really Jesus Christ yet. He didn't do his miracles. He's just a baby, all right? But it was still an unassigned holiday.

So let's put the birth of Jesus there. It's an unknown date, by the way. They think it might have been sometime in the spring, based on descriptions of shepherds, shepherds, but, and when they make the pecorino cheese, you know. Absolutely. The kid went surfing. I mean, it was around the time.

It's in the Bible, let that part out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gospel of Luke. Let that part out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gospel of Luke. Yeah. So you assign that.

Now you can port people over from whatever was their previous celebration to a Christian celebration. And that enabled it to take a firm hold. And Santa Claus would come much later, of course. Right. He's a modern. Well, when Santa Claus started to come, it's actually like anything else that happens great in this country. It came out of New York City, baby. 18th century, late 18th century, Thomas Nast, he was a Civil War Union propaganda artist. And he created the idea, the image.

That image. Okay. We think of as Santa Claus. It was really a Union soldier with, you know, toy. There weren't toys. It was like, what was it in his sack? It was military equipment. And the midnight thing was like,

Senate is running out of time to reenlist soldiers. It was a whole propaganda thing. I think I read this long ago, but I've forgotten all about it. The Nast illustration. Did we just teach Neil something? I think that just happened. I remember that illustration is very textured and rich. Yeah, there it is right there.

It's like totally it. Yeah. Right. I mean, he looks like just a drunk Irish kid. Yeah, he does. Well, I mean, yeah, he's a drunk Irish kid. His name should be Shawnee Donnelly. Yeah.

But so often their traditions and rituals we think are deep and long ago, but no, somebody just invented them. Right. And even the Christmas tree is a secular thing. It's just the, but it was attached to the Christmas holidays. And so now you've got, so there are plenty of Jewish people who have Christmas trees. Right. Oh, no, I grew up in Brooklyn, Jews, a lot of Jews. All my Jewish friends had Christmas trees.

Oh, so you're Jewish-Greek. No, I'm all Greek, but my friends were Jewish. No, you said you were fourth Turkish. I heard that at the beginning. 26%. I paid 26%. But now that I know. That counts as a fourth.

Yeah. That's what Ancestry.com. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 26, there's no, no, you're not getting 26. That's that at the beginning. 26%. I pay 26%. That counts as a fourth. By the way, wait, wait. You're not getting 26. That's what they told me. No, it's 25. Because you can only split by twos. So you have 50%, 25%, 12.5%, 1 8th, 1 16th. You're not getting 26%.

Unless you were Greek so long ago that it's split into 100 parts and you can divide it that closely. You're one-fourth Greek. I'm 100% African. Yeah, according to you. That's what I am. That's what I am. There it is, baby.

It exploded. Wild. Saint Nick was actually Turkish before. Yeah, I was going to say, I got news for you, baby. He's a Turkish kid. Saint Nicholas was born in 280 AD in Patara, Niamira in modern-day Turkey. So what are you going to do now? Yeah, I mean, the Turks would again.

The Turks would again. Yeah, but that's a Turkish Christian, though. Would it be Coptic or whatever? Yeah. You know what I've noticed is all the religions, when you go back far enough, they started with worship of the sun, which is interesting because it seems like science was the initial religion.

Because it was all based on the sun. They all started worshiping the sun. Sun matters. You know that it makes your crops grow. It keeps you warm. It's not a weird fact that the sun would matter to you in your lives. And generally, you worship things that matter. You know what I think a lot about?

There's a strong religious tradition to say a prayer before a meal. And I say, well, why? Why? Why? I ask myself that. Then I realize that most of the history of civilization, you really didn't know when your next meal was coming. Food was a cherished commodity. And so if you had food, you were thankful.

Nowadays, if you have food, you say, no, I got to go to the gym and work this off. You can't pull an orange off the stack in the grocery store without the whole pyramid spilling out onto the ground. We are awash in food. Yet we are still praying, being thankful for the food on the table. America might be the only country with overweight homeless people. Just think about that.

Now the rich are skinny and the poor are fat. That's access to calories. Access to calories, which is cheap calories. Then I thought, if you're going to pray today, what might you pray for if you were to change that ritual to something that was cherished or rare? And I'm thinking maybe you should pray for yourself to understand objective truths. How about that? Because that would be the foundations of the advance of civilization. Yeah.

It seems like there's now an extreme right and extreme left, and what they have in common is they both kind of deny science a little bit. Yeah. One's climate change, one's biology on one side. Well, no. So, well, there's some in the extreme right that will also deny biology, but say we are specially created by God. All right. So, again, we're in a free country. I don't have a problem with that.

So again, we're in a free country. I don't have a problem with that. It's only, again, if you rise to power and take your personal belief and then pass laws that have to apply to everyone in a pluralistic country. You're denying the freedoms that were fought for over many generations in so doing. So that's just an important fact. The liberal left likes to claim and assert that the conservative right is in signs of denial with climate change, which they are. However, the very far liberal left does not have the high road in this because there's certain seriously signs denying points of view that are squarely found in the liberal left. Among them, vaccine denial.

Among them, a denial of what value and role of GMO, foods. There's a whole rejection of this. And I can give you a list of things that are rejected that the only way you can reject it is if you are in denial of some or all mainstream science related to it. And so there is science denial on both extremes. And it's disturbing because you can't have a functioning democracy

unless people understand what is objectively true that would then be the foundations of laws and legislation that you pass. Right. So your master class, are you going to... First half of the master class is I'm teaching you how to think like a scientist. That's what I was about Yeah, yeah, yeah, if maybe you don't want to think like a scientist I'm not gonna force it on you right, but if you want to know that it's there right then there's how to communicate What you know? Yeah to others so that they have a chance of not falling asleep or paying attention or asking you about more

We're stimulating curiosity in them about what your expertise is. You know, I'm in. I'm doing it. Giannis and I just formed a company. I'm getting Neil deGrasse Tyson's master class, and I'm putting it on the company credit card. Just so you know. That's happening.

We're going to do it, and we're going to do podcast episodes about what he said. Yeah. I like that idea. Everybody, put it on your company credit card. Seriously. I mean, if you're a company out there there and you don't want your employees to think like Neil deGrasse Tyson, what are you doing? What are you doing?

Yeah, what are you doing? Oh. Yeah. Very good. Marketing. Hell yeah, master class. I'm 1,000% doing it. Yeah.

And we should do a master class on being stupid. Yeah, we should do a master class. I know. It's like Neil deGrasse Tyson to the world, the Elon Musk to the world, the Stephen Hawking to the world, RIP. It's like, even like as smart as my friend Giannis is, I wonder if like we always, remember we said that? We were like, do you think that they would just listen

to guys like us and just hear like animal noises coming out of our faces? Even though Giannis is asking great questions, does he still just sound like, like, you know, like, chip noises. Yeah, I'm like, what is this? What are these things?

You're like, you know, putting it in your buns like, I don't want to be around this stupidity, but. Are you a Yankee fan or M these things? You're like, you know, putting it in your buns. Like, I don't want to be around this stupidity. Are you a Yankee fan or Mets fan? You're a kid from the Bronx. I'm born and raised in the Bronx. I was a Yankee fan. Yes!

Okay, so I was a Yankee fan. I am the age where I, in my formative kid years, the Yankees had the longest drought ever. Yeah. Now, what a luxury to call a Yankee drought the consecutive years where they were not in the World Series. That's what a Yankee drought is, right? So from early, mid-60s right up through 1977,

I'm a kid going in through teenage years. I'm going to Yankee games. There's nobody in the stands, and they're not winning. And so my former years, it was drought. But I'm an honest fan because I was born and raised in Yankee. True fan. If you stuck with him through that. Stuck with him through that.

And one of my favorite billboards ever, you go across the Willis Avenue Bridge. It's not there anymore. But you'd see, was it Willis? Whichever bridge. The Yankee Stadium is right in front of you from Manhattan into the Bronx. And there's a billboard there. And you see Yankee Stadium right next to it. And the billboard said, they call it the World Series, but it's usually played here.

I said, oh! That's why they hate us. That's so good. That's just wrong. That's just wrong. All right. Well, Neil, we only have a minute with you left. And you asked me questions and my Janisai questions about, you know, do you believe

in objective truth and come from those deep places? And our question is. By the way, it doesn't matter whether you believe in it. It's there. It's there. Yeah. That's the good thing about science. It's true whether or not you believe in it.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's deep questions. And I talk about different truths. Yeah. There's your personal truth. Is Jesus your savior? Yeah.

In a free country, nobody's going to take that away from you. But Jesus might not be someone else's savior. And you have to respect that knowing that that's your personal truth and they got to have their personal truth. So our question for you is do you believe in Santa? What's the name of that little girl that that letter was written to? Anne Frank? No, no, no, no. Greta Thunberg?

Greta Thunberg. No, no, no. The letter was written to like the New York Tribune or something. I don't know. Virginia, thank you. Yes, Virginia, Santa is real. No, so here's... Now I know what you're talking about.

So, Santa can't be real because if you add up how many Christians there are in the world and give him 24 hours to deliver gifts, how fast his reindeer would have to move, he would vaporize in the atmosphere. Yeah. So it's just not really possible. It's not real. Our sound producer Zach is crying. And I'm saying,

I was with you on the science stuff until you killed Santa, Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'm just saying, Santa's speed entering and reentering the atmosphere, he would vaporize. So to get to every Christian household in the 24 hour period that Christmas Day represents on Earth. So, okay, now let's give him special re-entry clothing so he doesn't burn up. Right.

Okay. Then he's got to, like, fit down the chimney. The idea that you'd have a chubby Santa coming down the chimney, I don't know who thought that up. Your Santa better be doing keto. I'm telling you, there'd chubby Santa coming down chimneys. I don't know who thought that up. Your Santa better be doing keto. I'm telling you. There'd be skinny Santa coming down your chimney. And so also as the, I don't know if you know this, but there's no land at the North Pole. No.

It's just ice up there. It's just ice. For now. So Santa's workshop is on an ice floe. Yeah. For now. So Santa's workshop is on an ice floe. For now. Right. Okay, so imagine the distant future where there is no ice.

So Santa's workshop would have to be on a floating island, and it's warmer. Santa will not be wearing, he'd be wearing in a bathing suit or something. So in conclusion, just like everything, it's the Chinese that killed Santa. One more question. Character piece. Is Jeff Bezos Santa? Oh. Yeah, that might be the Santa. He might be the real Santa. Oh, because

he's delivering packages. Exactly. He can do it. He's doing it on all of us. He's got the delivery system. Exactly. Oh, you are right. Yes. Bezos is Santa. Yes. We could all order this and we'd all get it tomorrow morning. Yes. Bezos is Santa. We stumped Neil. Oh. Better than Santa. We disproved one, and we'd all get it tomorrow morning. Bezos and Santa.

We stumped Neil. Better than Santa. We disproved one of Neil deGrasse Tyson's theories. Yes, take that, AOC. Plus, I calculated. Forgive me, I don't remember. I'd have to look this up. Einstein said never memorize anything that you can look up.

Save room for other thoughts that are in your head. So I calculated. If I took his hundred billion dollars and stacked them and laid them end to end i just figured out how many times you can go to the moon and back it's like 21 times to the moon and back then you can like have money left over yeah you can stack stack it high you know it's just it's fun wondering how you would spend 100 billion dollars so it's 21 times back? No, it's one of my tweets. I tweeted about a year and a half ago.

You can look it up. Look for my name and Bezos' name. You'll go straight to it. All right. This was such an honor. This was fantastic. You've got research people here. Can't you find it?

Yeah. I mean, it's fine. Let's do it. You've got a crack team. He's just staring at us. He's just standing there. We don't need you to stand there. We need you to work.

Yeah, we need you to work, damn it. Find a tweet. Bezos got $21 billion. Work. He was at $100, we need you to work, damn it. Find a tweet. I mean, he's just got $21 billion. Work. Well, no, he was at $100 billion when I did this. Oh, $100 billion. You peasant. So just my handle, which is Neil Tyson.

There it is. Here's a tweet. Okay. Not that anybody asked, but Jeff, what'd you do? You broke the connection. Oh, my God. What kind of engineers you got in this place? I know.

You're fired. I mean, what? Yeah. Oh, man. It said that you could make it to the moon and back. Just my god. What kind of engineers you got in this place? You're fired. It said that you can make it to the moon and back. I word these carefully. Don't just paraphrase my tweet. You cannot paraphrase Neil deGrasse Tyson's tweet in a Chewbacca suit. It's all blurry.

It says that he has delegates. There's a New York Santa, there's a Chicago Santa. It says you can make it back You're not we can't hear you Okay, yeah Yes He's not he's not there. No, you can't hear you. Okay, so he's still working on Jesus Oh, I mean if you would have just not touched the TV. Yeah, could someone pull it up on my phone?

You just ruined it. I mean, this is why Sirius is going out of business. That's not good. Not that anybody asked, but Jeff Bezos' $130 billion laid end-to-end can circle Earth 200 times that could reach the moon and back 15 times then. With what's left over, circle the earth another eight times. Wow. Wait, wait, you got the commas wrong on that. Hold on.

Yeah. Let me out. Man, dude. Okay. Here we go. Now Neil's going to read. Yeah, yeah. Let me get my old people glasses.

Yeah, yeah. Do you want to borrow mine? Mine are for distance. No, they're for distance. I'm sorry. Does anyone got readers? Mine is just for people with terrible vision. Okay, here it goes.

Ready? Can you hear me? Yeah. Okay. Not that anybody asked, but Jeff Bezos' $130 billion laid end to end can circle Earth 200 times, then reach the moon and back 15 times, then with what's left over, circle Earth another 15 times. Then, with what's left over, circle Earth another eight times. Wow.

Wow. The inflections matter. Yes. The comma and the then. You just got a master class on how to read a tweet, my friend. I don't have enough money to get from my bathroom to my kitchen. That dude has only got 130 characters. You're stumbling on the on the thing so

so the point of that is so i did the math obviously uh correctly and it was not might not be obvious it's correct you can double check it if you like but obviously i probably yeah i probably did the math on that and so i wanted you to be impressed with the first statement yeah and then say wow that's a lot of money. Now we got leftovers. Right. Yeah. Now you circle earth, you know, 21 times.

We got leftovers. Yeah. Now you stack, whatever. So that was the point of that tweet. That tweet really, like, it's insane how much money he has. Right. So it means that he's not only, so Santa's wealthy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just funny. Santa doesn't pay taxes. There's no difference between human minds. Because Neil tweets that out. And then one of my last tweets was, if you could put your nipples anywhere else on your body, where would you put them? That was my last tweet. No, no.

Here's what you need to do. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get the answer. Here's what you need to do. Yeah. You need to, when you're thinking that through, try to. And by the way, I have more respect for comedians

than any other profession in the world. I think you guys hold culture in the palm of your hands and you deliver it back to us in ways that make us reflect on our very lives themselves. So if you're going to do that, try to add a little thing to it. So I got one for you, ready? Yeah. Okay. And I'm going to do that, try to add a little thing to it. So I got one for you. Ready?

Yeah. Okay. And I'm going to tweet this maybe later today. Please do. I'll retweet it. Okay. I'll retweet too. Okay.

You can kiss yourself in the mirror, but only on the lips. Wow. It's true. Neil, I'm about to kiss you on the lips. Wow. It's true. Neil, I'm about to kiss you. Wow. It's true dad. Yeah. It's true dad.

I never thought about that. This is my point. So you do something that you've never thought about. Yeah. So in the line of move your nipples to someplace else. Yeah. Who's the guy who's very deadpan in his comedy? Stephen Wright.

Stephen Wright. Steven Wright. Steven Wright. So he's got one. He said, wouldn't it be weird, I wonder what phones would look like if your mouth was nowhere near your ears on your body? Yeah. Yeah. Just think about that.

It just happens to be close by so it's an easy thing. So if you're gonna think it through, don't just toss something out there. Yeah, really think. Put your nipple somewhere thing. Yeah, so if you're gonna think it through don't just toss something out there Yeah, really nipple somewhere else. Yeah, just think think about it. Wait. You see my tweets after the masterclass Follow me on Twitter at Christy comedy because the tweets gonna get why you know, I got a real person Can I show you something? I'm real curious about I'm gonna tweet the nipple thing. I mean nothing not the nipple thing No, that'd be great. Can you tweet at History Hyenas? Marketing! Marketing History Hyenas. Follow us.

I don't sell myself on my tweets. You'll hardly ever see. Your tweets are great. I follow you. You can kiss yourself in the mirror. Woke.

Okay. Comma. You know how to respond to commas in a thing? Okay. But only on the lips. Think about that, dog.

No. If you had to say think about it, it meant what you typed didn't have that built in. Yeah. But if you say think about it, dog, they know you're from the Bronx. Oh, dog. Yeah. Think about that, dog. And I get this right here.

I'm checking spelling, checking punctuation, and this is ready to go. So I'm live tweeting on your show. History Hyenas. History Hyenas. No, I don't market. I'm live tweeting on your show. History Hyenas. History Hyenas. No, I don't market. I said I don't market. We're marketing. We're saying it for our video because we're going to post it.

Neil deGrasse Tyson is on History Hyenas right now. Live tweeting and telling us about the universe and also how to do comedy. This was a pleasure. Everyone's saying that you have to go to another interview, but it's up to you, pleasure. Yeah, everyone's saying that you have to go to another interview, but it's up to you, Neil. Yeah, we don't care.

You can stay with us. So are you ready? Yes. Here it is. Tweet. Let's retweet it quick. Retweet it immediately. Let's retweet it immediately.

Get it from everybody's account. What's your Instagram, Neil? Is it Neil deGrasse Tyson? Instagram is Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yeah. It's full up. I mean, what'd you think it was? I don't know.

Brons.22. Yeah. Retweeted. Boom. So this morning I put out another tweet, the morning report. Most of the universe remains intact, doing just fine. Earth, however, is fucked up. That's earlier this morning. I normally don't post tweets that close to each other in time, but out of respect for you guys and you're good thinkers and curious,

we just do a live tweet with you right now. Thank you. I appreciate that so much for coming. This helped us so much. We really appreciate you coming on. Yeah, all right. It's time. Yeah, time.

It is time. Yeah. All right. Chewbacca. Yes. Can I tell you someone who wanted to be Chewbacca his whole life but was never called? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Really? I interviewed him for my show, for Star Talk, and he's been in a few movies. Yes. I wanted to be Chewbacca his whole life, but was never called. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Really? I interviewed him for my show, for StarTalk. And you know, he's been in a few movies. Yes, yes. Name two. Bruce Lee, the Bruce Lee movie. Name the movie.

I don't know, Bruce Lee part four. Game of Death. Game of Death. Game of Death. I don't know. Airplane, airplane, airplane. Airplane, airplane. Slapped him.

Slapped him. Yes, absolutely. I can't, he's gonna me too me if I hit him. Okay. So I said, you know said When you left the NBA You said I wanted to be an actor I said what role did you He was sheepish

I should have been Chewbacca Yes He's got the hype for it Alright TheMasterClass.com Neil deGrasse Tyson's available right now Let me hear your best Chewbacca imitation. That's pretty good. That's not bad.

That's not bad. Not bad. The Master Class. I messed up. I messed up there. I should have stopped when I was ahead. All right, guys. I'm out.

Thank you, Neil. Nice meeting you. Thank you so much, Neil. Thank you so much. All right. Keep it going. Thank you so much. Neil deGrasse Tyson, everybody.

Yeah, quick. Yeah, come on, Yannis. I like how we're still rolling what are people supposed to do wait we are posing for a photo in the middle you just leaving your people hanging does she know how to use the camera i'm nervous i'm sorry use the camera? I'm nervous.

I'm sorry. There you go. Jeez, guys. You look great. You just had dead air time. Yeah, I know. It's real, baby. No, no. I appreciate it, man.

I hope I see you again. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Yeah. And we're back. Thanks. We just took a picture with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

It was unbelievable. Check out his master class. Check out the master class. It's masterclass slash Appreciate it. at Neil deGrasse Tyson. Facebook at Masterclass Official slash at Neil deGrasse Tyson. Twitter at Masterclass slash at Neil deGrasse Tyson. That was a good interview, no?

I think it was good. It was good. We had fun. I mean, he's a fun kid from the Bronx. Is this live right now, Paul? This is just taped anyway, right? For the podcast? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So we're good. So we'll just edit out the dead air if Zach remembers. Yeah. So that was a good time. We had a good time. That was a good time. He was a fun kid.

I think he had a good time. Dude, what do you think? You think he had a good time? Yeah, he didn't want to leave. Yeah, everybody had a good time. Yeah, I mean, he didn't want to leave. Dope. Yeah.

I had a bit. Was that good? Do you think Neil had a good time? Did Neil have a good time? Neil's publicist is back. You think it was good? Smart? Was it good?

Thank you. Remember us, the History Hyenas. Yeah. You start listening, too. History Hyenas. Yeah. You start listening, too. History Hyenas. Patreon.com slash PayRidgeBoys. Marketing. Marketing.

Yeah, Neil. All right, good. So we did good. Yeah. And yeah, I think we had a good time. I mean, he's so fascinating and cool. I mean, a guy like that, I just like a guy like that. You know little things that he said.

Even like how smart he is. Like if you notice, like his ego is not that big. It's almost like non-existent, even though he's so smart in what he says, because anytime he says something, he's like, oh, I did the math, you know, and I know I did it right. But you check it and make sure it's right. I love when guys do that where they don't think who the fuck they are. He can step out of himself and be like, you keep mentioning Harvard. And it's like, that's fine. But like, let me prove it to you.

Yeah, I love that shit. I think you don't stand on your accolades, because they actually mean nothing. Yeah, I think it would be hard for anyone who studies the universe to have an ego, because basically that's what he does all day, is stare at how and learn about how small and meaningless he is. I don't know if you noticed when he was tweeting out how big his hands are. I mean, the kid's got a big piece. The kid was a wrestler in college. You can't get punched through. The kid was a wrestler in college. You can't get punched through.

The kid was a wrestler in college and high school. He's a kid from the Bronx who wrestles. Yeah, he's a kid from the Bronx who wrestles, and I really just felt like he talked so much and was so interesting. It's like that's a guy. I get why he is a famous physicist in entertainment, too. It's just like not everybody can do what he does talking in like yeah like he he's one of those guys like he's I'm happy that the internet exists because

of him because it's like without the internet he probably wouldn't have been famous and it's like you need this this guy's great yeah I know his his masterclass is I think in part about how part about how well he portrays the things he thinks because that's really part of his talent. And that's what sets him apart. And that's why he's become such a spokesperson for the scientific community, the astrophysics. What would you call that field?

Astrophysics. Yeah, astrophysics. Astrophysics is because he's such a good communicator. Because if you think we're not putting that master class on the company card, you got another thing coming. You got another thing coming. If you think I didn't just retweet it but post it and say tweeted live on History Hyenas with me and Chris DiStefano, you got another thing coming. I'm marketing. I've been holding this in the whole time.

Yeah. A marketing. I've been holding this in the whole time. Yes! This is the only podcast where you can have Neil deGrasse Tyson on it and then a fart three minutes later. It's what it is, Neil. Yeah, there's gases in the universe and there's gases in the studio. There's gases in the studio. All right, guys. Well, listen. That was a great episode.

Neil deGrasse Tyson. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. If you want to see any of the behind the scenes from Neil deGrasse Tyson, go there. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys. Um, if you want to see any of the behind the scenes from the other grass Tyson, go there. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys. Um, we love you guys. First time Zach has ever been in serious XM and he's crying for that reason.

And also because he was just told Santa's not real. Mike Suarez almost passed out when he found out Santa's not real and he can't be. Yeah. Zach is just happy to be here because he knows that at some point during the day, Sway is in this building. Yeah. Little does he know that Sway's just actually a friend of yours and you just haven't given the mixtape to him.

If you think that Zach isn't going to crawl to Sway's studio and sniff his seat, you got another thing coming. You got another thing. If you think being in the studio gets you closer to Sway than it does just knowing Chris, you got another thing coming. Chris said he's never given you a demo over to Sway because we need you on the soundboard, you muzzy.

Yeah, no, the truth is I did give it to him. And I'm going to text him again and be like, what do you think of my man's drop? Yeah, no, listen to Zach's music too. It's great. Yeah, see the dropout. All right, thank you so much. Paulie Rowland, guys at Sears who gave us this opportunity, thank you so much. And, of course, thank you, Neil deGrasse Tyson, you're a cute kid.

I'm never washing my hand again. You've been listening to a Raw Dog Comedy Holiday Special Presentation of the History Hyena with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Here at any time, on demand with the SiriusXM app. Yo! KYO!