History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 11 - Divorce is WILD!!!

Episode Date: April 22, 2018

Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano talk about the history of divorce and the likeliness of Yannis' marriage lasting! WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. What's up everybody? It's Chrissy D here with Yanni P. We are the History Hyenas. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode. Of course, we have Zach Ice's face, fresh out of the caliphate, doing his thing. White Wasp, Bardo Church, could not make it today.

They don't even care if he's here. He's just a background player. Yeah, he doesn't even talk. Yeah, he's just someone that we just look over at. Yeah. You could have said Bardo Church is here, and they would have never even known if he was here. Yeah, he's just someone that we just look over at. Yeah, he's, yeah. You could have said, Borrow Church is here, and they would have never even known if he was here or not. Oh, yeah, there's no camera on where he would be.

He always sits back in the corner anyway, like with a smoke and a pipe. Yeah, he's built like Kevin McHale, too. I don't even know if he can fit in these tiny little cameras. Yeah, he still has his rat tail. We're here in the studio, Ridecast Studios. We got the picture. Zach found another disgusting, nauseating, terrifying picture of a hyena attempting to smile. But it's just got its tongue open and its fang fucking. The most disgusting part of this hyena's mouth and all hyena's mouths is the fact that they have fang teeth on the side and then little baby infant teeth in the front.

And their tongue. This is the first picture, though, you've pulled out, Zach, where the hyena's tongue is not actually jet black from licking the assholes of a dying animal. This has got a clean red tongue. Yeah. Which is, you know, at least we have that. This hyena looks like he's a Kiss fan.

And now we have hyenas... Giannis found an article yesterday. Was it the New York Post? New York Post. They must be listening to our podcast. The New York Post now all of Giannis found an article yesterday. Was it the New York Post? New York Post. They must be listening to our podcast. The New York Post now all of a sudden wrote an article about the complexity and mystery of the hyena as an animal and mentioned its pseudopenis

and mentioned all things that we've spoken about. So what we need you guys to do are loyal, loyal fans and loyal, loyal pseudopenises and everyone who comes and is part of the matriarch. Make no mistake, you guys are part of the matriarch. If you're fucking with us comes and is part of the matriarch. Because make no mistake, you guys are part of the matriarch. If you're fucking with us, you are part of the matriarch, and you're part of our tribe.

You need to make sure when you hear hyenas, and when you start to hear it go into mainstream, because it's happening, tell them where you found it first. And it's right here where the Bay Ridge Boys presents History Hyenas. So just make sure that you tell them that we found it first. Okay? We've been talking, you know, who was talking about hyenas the way we've been

talking about hyenas before we started talking about hyenas? No, you have to be... You didn't even know they had a pseudo-penis. I had no idea. I'm talking about the people at home. And yeah, me and you, we didn't even know. Well, you knew. I knew. You were the first to find... I would say you started talking about hyenas a couple years ago. You want to know why? Why?

Because I'm the OG original true blue gay. True blue gay. Original. I'm the original OG. Yo, you're the original OG, but I want to be the fucking original trans. I want to be. I know you had Marisa, and that's great, but I want to take it all the way. And I really want to look down one day.

I want to look down. I want to take it all the way. And I really want to look down one day. I want to look down. I want to fucking be looking into a big dude's eyes, rubbing Vaseline in my post-op vagina, ready to take a dick right into the fucking liver or whatever they do. I don't want to, because I want my testicles to be my nipples. That's what I want to happen at some point. And you know what I want to do?

Yeah. You know what I want to happen at some point. And you know what I want to do? Yeah. You know what I want to do? What? I want to buy myself a nice little.38, six shooter. Okay. Right? Yeah. I want to point it to the back of your head.

Yeah. Not going to shoot you. Yeah. No. We're going to take a walk. Right. Me and you, we're going to take a walk. Yeah.

I'm going to walk you all the way up into the forest out in upstate New York. Right? And you're going, cuz, what are we doing? I'm going to go keep walking. I'm doing this for the betterment of the world. Because I'm going to be looking around like way up into the forest Out in upstate New York And you're like cuz what are we doing I'm going to go keep walking I'm doing this for the betterment of the world Cause I'm going to be looking around like oh look there's mud And it's dark out and there's ghosts And look there's a canary Yeah and where can I get my estrogen shots

And I'm like yo I want a muffin toast with butter Yeah you want muffins you want smoothies You want puss but you also want to Put Vaseline in your own puss You have no rules You represent. You. Because when it comes to who's the bigger hyena me or you.

Yeah. There's no question. That our matriarchal fans know. Yeah. That you are the true blue. Yeah. Hyena. Yeah.

You have no. You represent chaos and humanity. It's so funny that you're saying that. And it is true. But if you had a visual of Giannis right now. First of all, he's got Princess Leia headphones on. Second of all, he's got the microphone out of the stand, which nobody ever does, and he's got a pimple the size of fucking Africa on his forehead with his cock glasses with his fucking hair that looks good with hairspray. It looks good.

Telling me that I'm wild when he's fucking with it. with hairspray. It looks good. Telling me that I'm wild when he's fucking... Like, we were driving in my car and you said if we got pulled over,

nobody would... The cops would never know that I was the guy who had a woman's wig and a purse in my trunk. Yeah. Yeah. I don't look like that guy.

I look wild. You're a fucking wild kid. So, okay, so here's... Giannis and I had a great weekend. We went to Valley Forge.

Yeah. Which is, you know, a city city about 30 miles outside of Philadelphia. And it's famous because it was the third encampment of the Revolutionary War. So basically the rules in the war were, back in the days, you wouldn't fight in winter. War had rules back in the day. Now there's no rules. Now people are fucking chemical attacking women and children. It's brutal. And it's Now there's no rules. Now people are fucking chemical attacking women and children. It's brutal.

And it's disgusting. There were rules. Like, if an invading army, like when Britain invaded us, they wouldn't kill women and children on the way. They were fighting soldiers. I mean, maybe they did,

but it would be frowned upon. When we go to war now or we launch a military operation, which is the executive branch's way of circumventing the Constitution because you're supposed to declare war through Congress. Congress is supposed to approve

a declaration of war, but now a president just, you know, executive order, hey, we're just they don't call it a war. It's like we're just doing a military operation. But nowadays, yeah, you don't risk losing that many soldiers because all you do is just launch smart bombs. It's disgusting.

Whoever has the higher technology is going to win a war. But back then, if you wanted to wage a war, it was much more well thought out or quote unquote military operation because you knew you were going to lose guys. Exactly. How many? We don't lose that many. This piece, if you guys show on the camera at home, there's a piece on the table. It looks like a bullet. It's probably a screw to something the table it looks like a bullet it's probably a screw to something but it looks like a bullet and i wish i wish i could press a button and turn this into a bullet and then put it in a gun and shoot you right between

the eyes that's what i wish i could do right now and then open up i would have i would take one of zach's knives that was blessed by a fucking by the Quran, I would want to take one of his knives that he keeps in his fucking... In his sock. Yeah. In whatever the fucking... You know, Ayatollah fucking... What do they call him, the high priest? Ayatollah.

Yeah, whatever the Ayatollah bless. Sheiks. Sheiks. I would cut open your head, is what I would do, and I would take out your brain, and then it would be confirmed that you have a female brain. That you are operating in a man's body with what is exactly a female brain. I would look for the chip because I know you have a chip somewhere in there because you're not from this planet.

And what I would do to save humankind so that you don't reproduce is I would burn your brain and then send the ashes into outer space. I would get every piece of your female mammalian brain out of the fucking confines of this great planet Earth. You know what? You didn't even let me finish the story. How what? I would walk you deep up to Poughkeepsie. We'd walk the whole way to Poughkeepsie.

Because I know you're a mouth breather and the walk's going to be a little harder for you. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. I'd make sure there were stairs, too, because you're carrying about 40 pounds more than I am. Yeah. And every time we walk upstairs, you start mouth breathing. Yeah.

So I'd make sure you walk upstairs, wherever we go, walk up big hills, that I'd march you up the hill with a six shot 38 to the back of your fucking head. Yeah. No room for error.

Pressed against the back of my skull. Pressed against your head while you were just going, kya! Kya! And I would just keep going, keep walking, keep walking. Yeah, yeah.

You go, cuz cuz What are we doing Are we doing a show out here Fucking wild Are we gay bad right now You're just fucking Like a wild robot Just fucking going Saying things that don't make sense

All the time You wanna bang trannies You wanna be trans Puss puss You want sweets I need black and whites And I just gotta Press the back of your head

Till I march you up To the fucking top Of one of the highest Mountain tops in Poughkeepsie. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And then there's going to be a shovel waiting there because I drove there a week before and I put a shovel there.

Be prepared. Yeah. And I'm going to say, see that shovel? Yeah. Start digging. And you're going, what are we doing? Yeah. Yeah.

And then you fucking dig away until I make you dig a six foot, between six foot and six foot one because we don't even know. You're so fucking wild, I can't even pin down your height, cuz. It's wild. You look like you're taller than you are. So I'm going to say, dig a six foot fucking grave, and then I'm going to make you stand at the edge of it after you're sweating, after you dug the grave, and I'm going to make you

say, cue, one more time. Yeah. Cue. And then I'm going to squeeze the trigger and a bullet into the back of your head until you fall straight into it, to the hole that you dug. Yeah. And then I'm going to squeeze the trigger and a bullet into the back of your head until you fall straight into it, to the hole that you dug. Yeah. And listen, the world's not going to be a better place, but like I said, there will be more order once again.

Yeah. Once again, there will be more law and order because, yeah, first of all, you could tell me that plan, like you've said it, you've told it to a lot of people listening, and you would actually start to execute it and I still wouldn't know it was happening. Like you've said it. You've told it to a lot of people listening. And you would actually start to execute it. And I still wouldn't know it was happening. No, you wouldn't. I would have just forgotten about this. Because every day my brain just starts over.

You'd be like, yo, cool. I just tell you we were marching to a history tour. I'd be like, yo, there was a battle up here. You would, you know. Yeah, just fucking run around up there. You'd throw on some fucking rack Nikes and some shorts with those pale thighs. Yep. Get up there. Hairless pale thighs. fucking rack Nikes and some shorts with those pale thighs. Hairless pale thighs.

I have no hair on my body at all. Is that a problem? You have brisk, you have startlingly white pale thighs. It's blinding. Because my face isn't that white. Why does my face look... Do you think for sure the simulators put the wrong head on the wrong body? I think so.

I think that's what happened. Because your head looks like it should be on a WWE wrestler's head. Yeah. And then your body looks like somebody's aunt. Yeah. My body, literally my body looks like I should be serving sloppy joes at a Catholic school cafeteria. Yeah. My body looks like my body looks like it belongs to a person named

Marge. Your body looks like it belongs to two different people. Yeah. Right side and left side. Yeah. I got good shoulders, though, no? You do got good shoulders. I think that's what holds the whole thing up. Yeah.

That's what holds all the slop up. I got good shoulders. We worked out together bad today. Yeah, we fucking lift. I should be able to lift more, but I did good. You did pretty good. No, you're strong. You're naturally strong, but yeah.

Yeah, I just should be in a better class. You just can't. You don't have the attention span to work out for too long. I saw you. I mean, you were doing four or five exercises at the time. I got to do a class. You got to do a class. You got to do spin.

Yeah, I fucking love spin. You'd be comfortable in there with all the puss puss. Yeah. See, the thing is with me, I'm never really uncomfortable. Yeah. Like, you know, and that's a problem. Because I think sometimes to get ahead in life, you have to be uncomfortable. My engagement party, you felt like you were going to pass out.

I felt like I was going to pass out. Why was that? Because I have anxiety and I get socially awkward. Okay, so first of all, it was Giannis' and his fiance's engagement party. We can't say her name. I don't want to say her name on the podcast. No. Gianni P and B. It was their engagement party.

And beautiful home great and Yanni was when I arrived there after sitting in two hours of traffic Yanni was out getting cigars

so I had to walk into this house when I I actually knew no one walk into the middle of the house and start introducing myself wow she didn't

she didn't catch you at the door caught me at the door said hello but you know it's a party she had to do a lot of other things which is like you, you know, I get it.

She stayed with me. She's like, wait, let me introduce you to people. And then I was the one who was like, you had a wall of donuts. So I just, I looked at the wall of donuts. I started to calm down a little bit. I started to calm down. And then being new, she's like, I can leave him here in the dessert room and he'll be fine. Yeah.

And then you weren't texting back. And then what happened was a couple of people he said my brain works a couple of people were saying that you hadn't texted them back and you were gone for a little too long so i was like he got killed in a crash that's what i thought happened and the pictures so they had pictures of yannis and his fiancee all over like couple pictures which is like nice the family went above and beyond it It was beautiful. But you got the feeling like that was like, is this a wedding? Or is this a memorial to a couple that got killed in a safari or something like that?

Like, were they eaten by a fucking wild alligator? Or a helicopter crash. A helicopter crash. They died tragically some way. Yeah, there was pictures of us. There were too many pictures of us. It was a lot. There were pictures in every room of us.

Every room there was two pics. And then I noticed a couple of those pics are in your apartment today. Yeah. Yeah. We took pictures of us. There were too many pictures of us. It was a lot. It was a lot. There were pictures in every room of us. Every room there was two pics. And then I noticed a couple of those pics are in your apartment today. Yeah. We took a couple back. Now that we're getting engaged, she's going to start redoing my fucking perfect interior design. I mean, my apartment is perfectly interior

designed. I mean, seriously, if I wasn't a comedian, do you think that that's one of my better talents? I have Crystal in there. I do. I think everything matches, Chris. I think what your best talent, what your truly best talent is, like I say

mine is parallel parking, what your truly best talent is, is convincing the entire world that the way you were just talking is not the actual way you really talk. That's what it is. Because this is you. But what you appear as, Giannis, like I've said a lot of times, I've never seen a better acting job than what you do every day. Because you can just see how comfortable I am.

Well, when I met your family, I could tell there's a feel. My brother's the triple gay. Oh, your brother. And you said me and him are not that far apart And you know what's interesting It's so comfortable And freeing to talk like this Giannis

Giannis has an openly gay brother Yeah An OGB And he Do you just come up with the acronyms Right when you say the words Yeah Your brain is quick like that

I have a quick brain Yeah I don't know why Maybe it's because He fucking quinoa History hyenas So Giannis' brother Is a TBG.

And like for real though. Like a for real TBG. He's an NDG, no doubt gay. He's an OG, no doubt gay. And he's a TSG, top shelf gay. Top shelf gay. Yeah, he's a big time gay. He's a BTG, big time gay.

He's an A-list gay. He's an A-list gay. Like, I mean, he's fucking like Anderson Cooper gay. You know what I mean? When you tried to talk to him, he thought that maybe you were a last minute phone call right before the party started because the air conditioner broke. Yeah.

Exactly. He thought you were lost in the living room trying to find the front door. Yeah. He didn't know. Because he was wearing this beautiful suit and whatever, I'm sure Italian, whatever. And I came in with a sweater with my sleeves rolled up from Old Navy, pants that I got at Foot Locker, and brown shoes. Were those from Foot Locker?

Those were Foot Locker pants. If I had known that, I would have kicked you right out the fucking house. You can't do that around me, cuz. Don't bring that around my fucking family, Foot Locker pants. But did I not look good? You did look good, but if I would have known they were Foot Locker pants made in Bangladesh, I would have fucking kicked you right out the door, cuz. That's disrespectful.

Okay, but the thing is, not that many... Who is a successful comedian as you are? You're a successful comedian, let's be honest. Why are you buying fucking... This is why you need to be walked up to fucking Poughkeepsie and dug... made to dig your own hole and shot into it. Why are you buying pants at fucking Foot Locker?

Cuz, because not many places have 38 waist that fit good like that. That's the problem. That's what it is. See, I'm getting hard on you and there's a good reason. If it was a 34, I'd fucking be a banana to the public. Because you're going to blow out fucking bad. Yeah. You better enjoy these couple... You better hope this radio show takes off.

Yeah. Because fucking once you blow out... I better hope this skit works. Yeah, you better hope this fucking skit works, cuz. Because when you start turning 38, 39... It's gonna go away. I mean, like the Hulk, you know how the Hulk breaks through his pants? Yeah. That's how your fat fucking hips are gonna break right through your goddamn $10 Foot Locker pants.

Yeah, my fucking Nicki Minaj pants. Which, by the way, you can see episode 5 of us talking about my fat fucking ass on patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. That's right. When does this go up? Actually, no, by now we would have released it. Yeah, we would have released it. Yeah, we would have released it. The past episode of History Hanging? No, this one.

No, the next Bay Ridge Boys web series. The next episode is out right now on our Patreon page. But this is going to air past when we... It's going to air on Sunday. Yeah, this is airing Sunday. Usually, they go up on Patreon on Thursday. Oh, so if you're a Patreon member, you're listening to this right now. First of all,

from Zach Isis, meaning hello, how are you? Holiness be upon to you, right? Also, I hope you enjoyed episode five of Bay Ridge Boys. You probably watched it before you listened to this. So if not, it's for free. The rest of you hearing this on Sunday, just go look. The newest episode is out. Go to our Facebook group, Bay Ridge Boys.

Go to Chrissy's Twitter, his Instagram. Absolutely. You can also see Chris do karaoke. Guy went fucking wild in Valley Forge. He sang Whitney Houston. I sang Whitney Houston, How Will I Know. And I really felt good about my performance. And I really felt good.

I remember I got back to my room. I got naked. I rubbed lotion all over my body it was your performance was it probably could scare children if children were allowed to be in the bar yeah it would scare you think it was stone cold trash it was stone cold uh nauseating trash yeah i mean you have zero talent for singing or dancing yeah you look like a lumbering fucking... Yeah. Like... But a video like that could still get... You think it'd get me pissed, though?

For sure. Because it shows that you don't care and you're fun and you're having a great time. Yeah. You were just having a time. I mean, you're not fearless, cuz. Let's stop with this. You keep saying you're fearless, that you have no fucking fear. You almost passed out walking into the house.

True. Right? You won't go into hotel rooms alone because you feel like spirits are going to grab you. Yep. We're not going to say you're fearless. And I open up- You're a big puss puss. You're a puss puss puss.

A triple P. A triple P. See, I just came up with an acronym. You're a fucking triple puss. I open up all the doors when I go into a hotel, even when I go home, I open up all the doors and the shower curtain just to make sure nobody's lurking. Yeah. I'm always looking for a lurker.

Yeah. That's why you can never live in a house, because you're scared of all the rooms. I won't do the basement, because I know that's where the murder is. What did you do at your mom's house? Huh? What did you do when you were growing up in your mom's house?

If it was dark out, I lived on the one floor up. I would sprint up the stairs, and the whole time I would think ghosts are grabbing my ankles. I would sprint up the stairs, something that would go two steps at a time, fucking fall down, skin my knees. And then I'd just run into the house.

I'd yell, Mom! And then she'd be like, Yes, I'm right here, honey And then I'd just run into the house. I'd yell, Mom! And then she'd be like, yes, I'm right here, honey. And I'd just run, and I'd sit down next to her. And I'd be like, oh, I would always, I'd always have some excuse, be like, oh, sorry, I, sorry, you know, I fucking, I'm hungry, or I gotta use the bathroom, or something like that. But it was really, I was just scared.

And I needed to see my mom and be in a well-lit room with her. And then I would calm down a little bit. And then once she was home, I'd turn on all the lights, and I'd turn on every light. My room, her room, home, I'd turn on all the lights and I'd turn on every light. My room, her room, bathroom, hallway, kitchen. All the lights would always be on. She just had to deal with that.

And then I'd just fucking, you know, I'd hang out, play video games, you know, whatever. Just think about shit. And then you turned 18 the next week. Then I turned 18 the next week. I slept in my mother's bed until I was about 13 years old.

Until about 13. Yeah, I had pubes. And I'm still sleeping in my mom's bed. You were sleeping in your mom's bed. Absolutely. Because you were scared. I was scared, yeah. She should have kicked you out. She should have. She should have kicked you out. Yeah. 13 years old. I had pubes. Because you were scared. I was scared, yeah.

She should have kicked you out. She should have. She should have kicked you out. Yeah. When you try to keep crawling in, she just, you know. Yeah, I mean, because, you know, I mean, I fucking, I'm a rare breed, as you said. You are. A rare breed. You are a fucking rare breed.

And you were sitting in, you went, we were in, we were at King of Prussia Casino. Is that what it's called? King of Prussia. It was called Valley Force Casino in King of Prussia. In King of Prussia Casino. Is that what it's called? King of Prussia. It was called Valley Forge Casino in King of Prussia. In King of Prussia. Yeah, which is a fucking supreme shithole. Yeah, and we were in a dive bar. Dive bar with karaoke.

And Chrissy D fucking chose Whitney Houston and went wild. Wild. The video's up on his Instagram. A lot of you probably have watched it already. Yeah, it's great. And then Rafael De Luca made another, i guess you call that a meme video well i mean no i mean he's making i mean he's making like um they're like mixes they're like yeah he's doing he does rafael de luca does real shit yeah but he uh he photoshopped our faces

into whitney houston it was hilarious and also i don't know if you listen but who i forget i don't even know your name i think it's i don't even know your Snapchat name, but the psycho fan. I had an altercation with an interaction with a psycho fan on Snapchat. This is funny. I think it's DJ Fruity Stupid or something like that. Show us the actual correspondent. This is how I don't think. This guy may kill Chris.

Yeah, this guy's probably going to kill me. I hope he doesn't know who I am, this kid. I mean, listen to this message that Chris got. So he... Okay. I can find it real quick, too, because you sent it to me. Wait, hold on. I got it.

Okay. You got it? Well, I'm going through all the videos that you... All the pictures you sent me in our text messages. Because I sent... And the first one that comes up is somebody getting sexual reassignment surgery. All right, yeah, I got it, I got it. So this kid, his name, I think his name on Twitter is...

He is a fucking psycho, this kid. I mean, he seems like a nice kid. I thought he was a nice kid. First of all, we've been corresponding for about two years. We've been corresponding. Why are you talking to these kids? I shouldn't be you can't tell the Psycho, I mean, I don't know. I just felt like he was like a nice guy

I thought he would send me messages on snapchat like and he would send a lot like 30 messages at a time and I was Just half. I never even read him a lot of them I just and I think he was saying a lot of things so it was probably partly my fault I mean if someone's sending you 30 messages at a time, even Zach knows, would you respond to those messages? Uh, if they were down to be recruited, probably. If they seemed a little out of it, then... I guess

too, because he's the kind of guy who'd probably sue me, once we release this, we should edit out the name that I just said, right? Yeah. Yeah, well, you didn't want to say Giannis' wife's name earlier and you said it anyway, so I have to edit that out. So you edit that out and you'll edit what I just, because I just spelled out his Snapchat. So edit that part out. But keep this part in of us telling you to edit it out.

Thank you. You're a good kid, Zach. So what he's, I can read what he wrote. I mean, that's because once it's anonymous, it's like you can't fucking. Yeah. So yeah, so this fucking kid. So he's been sending me messages a lot. Like, you know, and I respond.

And like, there was even one time, like a year ago, where I looked back in my Snapchatchat where he said he was like hey man like i want to wear your skin no he didn't say that he was like he was like hey man is it cool that i like snapchat use i feel like a dick like i send you stuff and like you don't write anything back or say anything i was like no bro just keep sending it which you know you need to be shocked just keep sending it bro just keep sending it like good for you you just don't believe in consequences in this world? Yeah, I don't know. You just don't think they apply to you? Yeah.

And then he says to me, so then it starts. And again, then he gives me his cell phone number last week. He gives me his number. He's like, I want you to fly down to Chicago, and I want to do the music for the Bay Ridge Boys, and I want to do the music for the Australians and all this shit. And I'm like, okay, dude. And I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he gives me his number.

I'm like, I'm never going to text this kid like I don't even know who he is like I'm appreciative of him being a fan of ours and mine but I'm like I don't know who you are dude yeah and then he sends me a message and first of all some of the messages he would send me like you know over the years like it'd be a little wild like he would say a racial slur or he'd send me a picture of like a guy with a dick like and he would be like you know laughing crying face and I would just be like lols or you know something stupid well i should have just been like all right enough of this guy but i just feel the need to respond to people which is which is brutal yeah you like to live on the edge a little too a little bit so i didn't give him my number

thank god but he gives me his number i never text him and then he sends me a snapchat yesterday he's like hey man i thought you were going to text me on friday you said you would which i probably did but the snaps disappear i was probably, dude, let's FaceTime or something wild, you know? And then he go, and then he says, you know, so what, you know, can you text me? And, you know, I'm waiting, I'm waiting to do this music drop for you. Like, I just need your approval. I want to do this for you. I want to do that for you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I finally just said, I very polite. I said this exactly. I said, hey buddy, sorry, but I got a lot of things going on right now. Keep doing what you're doing.

Stay in touch, but I'm sorry. I just got a lot of stuff going on. Then he writes back, you think I'm a Joe Chris? I'm a young dude who looks up to you and have a little business. You won't give me the time of day. Then he says, then he says, I just bought Bayridgeboys.com, so if you want

that website, you're going to have to go through me It's business, man You give me the time of day when you need your site I have your attention now Yeah, that's a true blue psychopath That would be a TB TBP That's someone who's truly psychotic, right?

Yeah, well, somebody's kid's got problems Right? I mean, what do you think, Zach? We gotta go to the expert on that, on problems. People with problems. I would probably recruit him. You would recruit him. He'd be perfect.

He sounds kind of like an evil genius. Yeah, he does, right? Yeah, well, because he said, this is what happened. So a month ago... He's got your attention now because you're a fucking idiot. We're talking about him on our podcast. I know. Well, we edited his name out, though.

I think he was good-hearted. I think Chris was trying to be nice and, you know, contact with him. Yeah, but you can't with these fucking psychos. No. You know? Well, we edited his name out, though. I think it was good-hearted. I think Chris was trying to be nice and, you know, contact with him. Yeah, but you can't with these fucking psychos. No. You know? Yeah, and then he said...

It's like if Zach asked me to go get falafels, you think I'm gonna fucking respond? I'll be dead. This would be fucking history. Iena's with Chris. Your fucking head would be in a pita. Yeah.

And Zach. Yeah. He said... He did say, like... He did say, yo, can I have your email a month ago? And I just gave it to him.

I was like, yeah! Just throw it out. Then he says... Then he says this. This was his message back he goes okay cool i'll email you soon butt plug talk about the hardest email i've ever had to write i get to attempt to captivate someone who captivates thousands of people every week for a living you fly a thousand miles for every trip i take to walmart i have redrafted my email to you 50 times in 10 days. So that should have been a signal right there of an obsessive thing that I just lost. He might be crazy or he might be in love with you. I mean, they're one and the same. You want to hit me.

Yeah, I want to throw something at you. I really do. You're responding after that message? I want you to go back to some of the earlier ones when he probably said I'd want to wear your skin, but you probably weren't fucking listening because you were texting 500 other people at the same time and you don't even realize that this guy's a fucking t what i see true blue psychopath you psychopath tbp right he's a psycho he's a fucking true blue true blue psychopath yeah i mean this guy's not well cuz yeah i mean he can't be responding just to everybody but you know what

you're fucking wild you know what i'm gonna going to actually, me and Zach have to start a relationship, like where I text you and I say, look, we got to keep the door downstairs locked because who knows who Chrissy invited down to the podcast. I mean, he- When DeLuca showed up at Smoothies, that was wild, right? He turned out to be a good kid, though. He was a good kid. DeLuca's a good kid.

He's welcome here. He's welcome. But listen, you didn't even fucking tell me. just invited him yeah i didn't even know there's a guy here yeah it's like look i got i gotta fuck i'm trying to fucking start a life here and you you you want to walk on you're a tightrope walker in life yeah you need to be put down so then this kid so then the message he sent me too he says that he'll be blah blah and then when i said to him look i it's just not gonna work i I'm not interested in the project right now. He said, oh, I see.

You think I'm one of these internet knuckle draggers. No problem, man. I feel like a puto. God bless. We're busy, too, homie. Fucking drive to 40-plus joints a week trying to get them to do radio flying Bobo in. I don't know who that is. Donating time to the church.

Our fishing company is launched, too. I get it, though. No worries, bro. Hit us up when you need BayRidge the church. Yeah. Our fishing company is launched, too. I get it, though. No worries, bro. Hit us up when you need BayRidgeBoys.com. Yeah. Then when I said, no, it's not necessary, I don't like your style. You responded again. I said, yeah, it's not necessary.

He keeps responding. You fucking idiot. I said, it's not necessary. I don't really like your style. He was just like, all right, cool. See you never again. Yeah. Do you remember, you just don't value me as a friend

or think I'm wise at all, huh? I do. What are you talking about? I do. You don't. You don't. What do you mean?

I just really think, I just don't think you don't. I think sometimes you give me advice, cuz, and I value your brain. I think you're a smart kid. Right.

Cute kid, smart kid. Right. Right? But like, I tell you something, I think you don't value my life experience

because I'm older than you. cuz, I value life experience. Didn't I tell you a long time my life experience because I'm older than you. No, because I value life experience. Didn't I tell you a long time ago, never respond to, always ignore crazy? So this happened before me and you started hanging tough? Has this been years? Two years ago, I think you started. No, we were hanging.

But I probably didn't tell you that yet. Well, it's also it was a guy, though. So I feel like it's different from women advice. No, it doesn't matter. Crazy, you always. By the way, if you're listening. Does that kid sound psychotic? He's probably...

That kid is most likely listening. That's a TBP right there. Yeah. That's a TBP. True blue psychopath. True blue psychopath. True blue psych. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, if even fucking Zachy's saying it. Yeah. On a side note, BayRidgeBoys.org will be launching very soon. Woo! BayRidgeBoys.com is taken, right? If you look it up. He bought it.

Yeah, he bought it. Did the kid buy it? He did buy it. It's actually a hilarious story, though.com is taken, right? If you look it up. He bought it. Yeah, he bought it. Did the kid buy it? He did buy it. It's actually a hilarious story, though. Yeah. Look, whoever you are. I mean, what a psycho. Look, whoever you are, if you're listening, look.

I don't even know what his actual real name is. Yeah. Look, just, you know, come on, cuz. We're all just people, cuz. See, in your mind, you think Chris is like this fucking, you know, he's a human being. I mean, he died. I drive a fucking Jeep. Like, I'm not, I don't talk to thousands.

Who do you think I am? Yeah, he was put together by the simulators just like you. Yeah, it's taken. It's taken, right? Yeah, and this fucking kid is an idiot. How much did he have to pay for it, do you think? It depends on, like, domain names. Probably, like, I would say $10 to $50.

So does he have to keep paying it every month? Oh, yeah. It's like a monthly thing. We'll get it back. So he's just going to stop it at some point. It depends on how dedicated he is. After he hears this, he's probably never going to stop now. But you know what?

Thanks to him, we now have a new segment on the show. We have our PPW of the week. We got our True Blue Gay of the week, which we're going to start to do. And now we have our True Blue Psychopath of the week. And we'll just find them every week, cuz. Yeah, I mean, yeah. They're out there. I couldn't believe it.

I mean, yeah. Well, you know, I could believe it once you told me that you were a pen pals with this guy. Yeah, I gave him my email. Jesus. Yeah. When are you going to start writing to serial killers? Yeah, any day now. Yeah.

I've been trying to get in touch with, what's the guy? What's the big big i always forget his name from mind hunters the guy who's like six ten kemper ed kemper you know what you're joking but i i if you told me you were really doing that i would believe it i had written him a letter but you want to right i want to send him a stat i want to get him on snapchat yeah and you want to tell him that you're you feel like a trans person those dudes get in your head bad Those dudes get in your head bad. They get in your head bad. There was a story of a kid who corresponded. He wrote a book, and he corresponded with John Wayne Gacy.

He ended up killing himself, the kid. He ended up killing himself? He ended up killing himself. Because John Wayne Gacy, I'll show it to you after the podcast. John Wayne Gacy got in this kid's head. That's what they do. These people, those true blue psychopaths, like we're talking not this kid i mean this kid just sounds like he's bored you know yeah but i'm talking about those ones who like really want

to wear skin and stuff like that those dudes are manipulative and smart right like they plan things out like if you get away with killing like 50 kids right then you know you premeditate you got a big brain right now it You know, it's just, you have no frontal lobe. You got no emotions. Yeah, my amygdala's small. So this guy fucked with this kid's brain

and, you know, the kid thought it was funny to be fucking corresponding with this kid. Yeah. He ended up killing himself. Fucking wild. Yeah, John Wayne Gacy

manipulated him, you know? Yo, speaking of killing yourself, you had your engagement party this weekend. I did. Was it a good party? Fucking great party. It was great. Holy shit. It truly was one of the best and only engagement parties I've ever killing yourself. You had your engagement party this weekend. I did. Was it a good party? Fucking great party. It was great.

Holy shit. It truly was one of the best and only engagement parties I've ever been to. I mean, yeah. It was the best and only. It was like a fucking mini wedding. It did feel like a wedding almost. But it was great. You know what?

The happiness and joy surrounding it was fantastic. The truth of it all is it's not going to last more than 10 years, even though you guys are a great couple. It's just statistically, it's over. That's why this episode is about the history of divorce. Because, you know... We did marriage last. It's not going to last because, you know,

it's just not. I mean, maybe it will. Would you two... I really believe, I really want to believe in true love. In TBL, true love. I want to believe in it. And if anybody has it, it's you and your lovely fiance. But statistically, this is a bad move, guys. Well, it's still hovering around 50-50 chance.

What would you take that? The statistics in America are 50-50. We are actually third in the world in divorce, though. Yeah, tell them the first two. The Maldives? Which is like, who even knows where that is? Fucking Belarus. Belarus is weird. That's a weird one. Well, The Maldives? Which is like, who even knows where that is? Fucking Belarus. Belarus is weird.

That's a weird one. Well, the Maldives is weird, too. The Maldives, it's like by Greece, right? Isn't it the Maldive Islands? Or is that African? That's Malta. That's Malta. Where are the Maldives?

A tropical nation in the Indian Ocean composed of 26 ring-shaped atolls. There you go. So it's islands. Why? It's islands. Mald go. So it's islands. It's islands? Maldives? Sounds like a... Yeah, tropical nation.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and you know what? Like, people, there's a lot of debate on, like, when it started happening, but a lot of people think that divorce started happening when feminism started rising. They think that's one and the same. That's corresponding. Because the truth is, and I'm not saying feminism is a bad

thing, but it's just, it does make sense when you used to be able to get married, used to marry, men and women would marry each other, especially a woman would marry because they had no rights and they could do nothing and they needed to marry a man to have them pay for shit, to have a place to raise their children because they weren't allowed to do anything.

Then when you gain independence as this feminist movement, which is actually great, I mean, I have a daughter. Why am I marrying you? For love? What the fuck? We don't even know what love is. Our sense of love had been so warped by porn.

What's the point of marrying someone anymore? You used to marry people a thousand years ago because you just knew them because you lived in a village and you couldn't really go anywhere because the wheel wasn't didn't even fuck the wheel wasn't even invented yet yeah so what could you do you only knew a few people so you figured i'll marry one it was probably your fucking cousin yeah and it's like you just did it for like now it's like what what's the point well we we discussed that last episode you know what marriage is all about yeah uh people married for all types of reasons so it's the same thing of divorce unite families just to reiterate um to mostly to unite families and you know i'm sure nature plays a big role in that it's nature the other facet to why people did it is just nature it's like a baby is

helpless as a human for a long time you just need the fucking guy to stick around. Yeah. You need the guy to fucking stick around. Yo, by the way, great recommendation by Giannis to read the book Sapiens. I've been reading fucking Sapiens. It's fucking wild. I always wondered why a human baby, why it's so defenseless, but a giraffe can come out

and already be running at top speed. And it's because when we were like, you know, morphing into what we are now, the longer we used to, our births used to be like 18 months. It used to be a lot longer. It wasn't always nine months. And, but the longer we would develop in utero, because we had, uh, the women had very small, uh, birthing hips as compared to other animals, you had like a 90% chance of dying at childbirth. So we started to die off as a population a little bit, like 1.5 million years ago. But then when we started to, when premature babies would come out and still be, you know, they'd be way underdeveloped, but the woman would survive, the baby would survive, they were nursed back to health.

Through evolution, our in utero gestation period got smaller and smaller and smaller. Our in utero gestation period got smaller and smaller and smaller. So the catch 22 is we survive birth now a lot better than other animals, but we're defenseless as babies for a long time. Yeah. It's fucking wild. And how many million years ago did that start happening? That was 1.5 million. Wow.

2 million years ago, the first humans walked on the earth or homo sapiens. Because us as now, from what the book said- Hold up, hold up, hold up. Yeah. True blue fart. Stinky. Sapiens, because there's a... Because us as now, you know, from what the book said... Hold up, hold up, hold up. Yeah! True blue fart! Stinky! Who's that? Did somebody just ring the bell?

Who's calling the phone? Somebody's calling the phone. It's definitely the fucking... It's definitely the kid from Snapchat. The studio phone. Should we answer it? Yeah, answer it. Who is it?

Answer it. Yeah. Hello? Is it the guy? Put it into the thing. It is important that I get a hold of Crystal Coley. If you are Crystal Coley, press 1. Crystal Colby?

You need to put this call on hold to get... I think it's a telemarketer. Or it could be the dude trying to get to Chris. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Or you could say that the guy's just a really big fan of yours. And he's disappointed that you're not available. To fly to Chicago to do it. Or you could say that the guy's just a really big fan of yours, and he's disappointed that you're not available, you know? To fly to Chicago to make music. To fly to Chicago, yeah.

I'm not even a musician. Look at my fucking Instagram. I can't sing or dance. Yeah. Well, now you know what, you know, you got to be a little more careful. Now I know it's like you can't respond to everyone. You can't respond to everyone. There's a lot of mentally sick people out there.

Yeah, this guy sounds- He may not be mental, though. He may not be mental, the kid. It's hard to tell. Yeah, he's mental. Yeah, I think it's something. Something. He seems- Yeah, this guy sounds... He may not be mental, though. He may not be mental, the kid. It's hard to tell. Yeah, he's mental. Yeah, I think it's something. He seems... Yeah, it seems like he's a little...

He's putting... It seems like he's very invested in this imaginary friendship that he has with you. Yeah, I mean, he would Snapchat me every single day. Yeah. Every day he snaps me.

Yeah. And I check him every day. Yeah. Not so cute. Not so cute. So he would see that it was seen that you just didn't answer? That probably drove him even crazier. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I should have yeah yeah yeah i should have yeah well now i mean well you can't block him

no you need a divorce from this guy i need a divorce this would be you need a restraining order and a divorce from this guy because i'm watching the show even though it's been out it's been done for a while but on netflix i'm watching the tutors how much of a coincidence is that that you're watching tut, and we're doing the history of divorce right now, because the most famous divorce, and where the Western world traces it's the word divorce. Right, because it used to be just called annulment. Annulment.

And in ancient Greece, Rome, and Egypt, they were considered annulments. Right. They were considered annulments. So what that means is you go to the pope or whatever religious institution is in place um post-christianity which is uh you know fucking pope or fucking priest or whatever the fuck it is and you go hey this was yeah this is um we shouldn't have got married in the first place because we found out that he uh he was banging my sister something where we're or something or we're too close

or we're too closely related. Or if a woman wasn't a virgin. Or if she wasn't a virgin, you get an annulment. Right. So, I mean... It makes it like the wedding never happened.

Like it never happened. It was unlawful. It was an unlawful marriage is what an annulment was. And the reason why King Henry VIII's annulment to Catherine of Aragon... He wasn't even seeking a divorce.

He was seeking an annulment. He was seeking an annulment because basically what happened was is he fell in love with Anna Boleyn. Anna Boleyn was, you know. Smoke show. Smoke show. And they still say, like, people still say she's the original homewrecker because she

got in there, ruined Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon, who was the royal blood of Spain. Yeah. So, you know, you were uniting England and Spain. So that's a big move. That's why people would get that, you know would marry countries would marry that's what it was basically um and the big problem was is that they were trying to have a son king henry the eighth wanted a son nobody could give him a son catherine of aragon couldn't give him a son and he was like oh it's her fault but of course you know we know now that it was fucking it's guy a guy, a guy determines the sex. But anyway, back in the day, they didn't know. People were, not that people were stupid back then, but I mean.

Yes, they were. They was just, well, it's just like, yeah, comparatively now, like very stupid, but it's like. Comparatively now. Yeah. That was an oxymoronic moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were trying to say how smart we are now, but you said the sentence wrong.

Yeah. Comparatively now. Yeah. Compared to now. Compared to now. Yeah. Or comparativelyatively now. Yeah. Compared to now. Compared to now. Yeah, or comparatively to now. Comparatively to now. So I guess they just didn't have as much knowledge.

They didn't have computers. That's pretty much what it was. We have computers. They didn't have Snapchat, yeah. They didn't have Snapchat. So he wanted to divorce her, get the annulment to her because he was in love with Anne of Boleyn, and Anne of Boleyn said, I'm going to give you a son. I promise you I'll give you a son.

Puss must have been real good, though. Good puss. So he wanted to marry her, so legally, in the eyes of the church, because everything was about the Catholic Church back then. King Henry was a big-time Catholic. He was like, I want to marry, get the annulment to Catherine of Aragon, because his whole claim, Catherine of Aragon was at first married to King Henry's brother, and then King Henry's brother died like a week into the marriage, and she said they never had sex, which I think

was true, but he was like, he believed it at first, but then he was like, no, you weren't a virgin, you're a fucking whore, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How would she be married to the guy if not she at least gave him a blow? She had to at least give him a handy. She gave him at least a handy. I don't know. But if they're married, you don't think he's gonna go dipping in there? He didn't throw it in? He threw it in. I mean, maybe he did. Why wouldn't he? Unless he was

a true book guy. Or more D See, my brain goes slow on him. D-L-G. Download gag. Download gag. He could have been... By the way, when you watch the show, The Tudors, D see my brain goes slow on him D-L-G download gag download gag he could have been there was a lot by the way

when you watch the show The Tudors a lot of download gags a lot of download gags in King Henry's court a lot of download gags so he wanted the marriage annulled

for that reason because he wanted his heir he wanted his son who he thought was going to have with Anne of Berlin to be the rightful king

and if he was still married to Catherine of Aragon, then even if he fucking I mean, they pumped kids into a lot of different girls. I mean, everybody had a mistress, but those kids were illegitimate and you would pay for them, but they could never be the king. They were never in line. Just sort of like NBA kids now. Yeah, it's like you're not

yeah, you're not, if you're not with the main one, I'm sorry, it's like you're here on this earth and like daddy will provide for you, but you're not going to get anything. I'm not taking you to Disneyland. Right. There's just a check that comes and your mom says it's from Sean Camp. But you never knew him. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you're going to get a lot of cool shit, which is dope, but you're not going to the games. You might get a signed jersey from Sean Camp, but he's in Seattle. You're in North Carolina. It's just not going to happen. It happened in 92. Yeah. It's not your fault, kid. It's really not your fault but just yeah i mean you know larry

johnson's your pops and there's another 17 of you all throughout the country yeah it's like it you know it's like you know seek counsel go to therapy think about it but you know i get it if like you know like you weren't supposed to be here anyway so if you want to fucking end it just end it i mean you see why he needs to get put even zach understands why he needs to get put down i'm kidding that was a joke you don't know you don't know boundaries yeah i'm kidding yeah you you're a kid who burned your head on the stove a few times right because you just didn't believe when your mother said it was hot i'm a fucking reread you were a fucking reread no i was just kidding around but but yeah so

so that was like and so that divorce finally, so what happened was back then, is King Henry VIII got divorced. Actually, the eyes of the Catholic Church never agreed to his divorce. Now, who is this, Pope Clement that he was asking? Pope fucking, yeah, Roberto Clement. Now, why the fuck didn't Pope Clement just give in and do it? Because Henry VIII was such a defender of the Catholic Church. Because Pope Clement was a man of God and was like, I know.

Everybody, you know what Pope Clement actually said? He must have been scared of Catherine To. You know what Pope Clement actually said? He said, you know what you guys should do? To like King Henry's court and to like his other court. He said, you know what we should do? Somebody go into England right now and kill Anne of Boleyn. Because he's just obsessed with young puss and needs to be married to Catherine of Aragon.

And she's a homewrecker. So why doesn't somebody just fucking put one in Anne of Boleyn? Why doesn't somebody do that? That's what he said. And they just wouldn't do it. Because he's a man of God. Yeah. Well, no, because Boleyn's family was very powerful.

So they were protecting her. But I mean, I'm just making fun. The guy's a fucking pope. He's supposed to be a man of God. He's saying, why don't you go kill this whore? Seriously. I mean, Jesus. But like, that's the thing.

If you were a whore back then, you were godless. That's where the godless whore comes from that time, because they didn't think of you as any... If you had no affiliation to God, just like if you were Muslim, they would just kill you and they're not going to hell for that. Right. They could burn you. That's why when they would...

Popes would actually execute people, because they would say, you have no God, and then they throw you into a— You know what one of the most common ways to die, like if they were going to—by execution, back in King Henry's time, they would throw—slowly dip you with a contraption into a jar of boiling water. And then you would come up and your skin would be melted off your body. That's what I'm going to do to you. I'm not going to take you out to Poughkeepsie. I'm going to dip you in, and I don't think if it's going to work. I think you're going to come up and go, triplet guy! Yeah, with half my face melted off your body. That's what I'm going to do to you. I'm not going to take you out to Poughkeepsie. I'm going to dip you in, and I don't think it's going to work. I think you're going to come up and go,

Yeah, with half my face melted off. Yeah. No, you're going to raise me up, and I'm going to come up, and I'm going to suck my dick between my legs like Buffalo Bill. And come up like, yeah. Hanging upside down. Yeah. I'm going to be like, I have been reborn.

I'm going to show you my fucking trans fucking puss. Yeah, yeah. Puss, what would you do if I pulled down my pants right now and I was already post-op? Would that be fucking wild? That would be wild. Part of you wants to do it

just out of... You're a curious kid. I just want to do it for the goof. You want to do it for the goof? I would cut my dick off and get a puss for one laugh from you. Yeah, you need to get put down quick. Yeah.

So, yeah. And that divorce happened. King Henry, like, so what happened was, is King Henry, he couldn't get the divorce in the eyes of the Catholic Church. So the Catholic Church excommunicated him, you know, threw him out of the Catholic religion. And then because he was the king of England, he was like, you know what? Fuck you. I'm starting a new religion. It's called the fucking English religion.

And he was like, now, not only am I the king of England, but I'm also the king of the Church of England. So the Church of England, which still survives today, is just King Henry VIII's fucking new rules. He's like, so now, guess what? I don't give a fuck. I'm not a Catholic anymore anyway. I'm marrying Annabelle

and Queen Anne, and she's going to give me a son. What happened? Gave him two more daughters and then one son who died at birth, so he cut her fucking head off. And then he married another Anne. Yeah, there's some nursery rhyme. Anne of Cleves. Yeah, somebody gave him a son.

And then he left her, too. Yeah, I mean, cut everybody's fucking head off. Yeah. But he never actually got divorced. That's the thing. Everyone thinks he got divorced. He never actually got divorced. Wait, it says, yeah, I read that he got divorced from Anne of Cleves.

No, but it was all like... Oh, really? Yeah. They said that... The act of annulment in and of itself was the thing that caused... We don't fucking fact check. Yeah. Did he ever get a mail error?

What? But yeah, it says he tried to divorce... But Queen Catherine outright refused to give Henry his annulment and fought every accusation he made. Of course, the annulment could still be granted even if the queen did not consent. However, the pope during this time was under the control of the Holy Roman Emperor, who happened to be Catherine's nephew. Therefore, oh, so that's what happened. The pope during that time was under the control of the Holy Roman Emperor. During that time was under the control of the Holy Roman Emperor.

Right. And the Holy Roman Emperor was Catherine's nephew. So that's why he didn't give in. But was the Holy Roman Emperor... So the Holy Roman Emperor was higher than the Pope. Yeah. Was he a military leader? He was like a fucking... Yeah.

He was like a king. A king of the Holy Roman Empire. So the Holy Roman Empire, I don't know if we know the answer to this. Because when I'm watching the Tudors, I'm confused too. King Henry VIII was the king of England. But he still had to answer to the Holy Roman Empire? Because at that time, the Roman Empire, like Italy, was still in charge of England? I don't think it was Italy.

I don't think they called it. Did they call it Italy at that point yet? Yeah. Like the Holy Roman Empire, though, were the Romans. So the Romans were still in charge in the 1500s? Holy Roman Empire. Yeah. It wasn't the Roman Empire from antiquity.

This is the post-Jesus second. This is the Romans' second round. So Rome took over the world twice. Yeah. Yeah, twice. So King Henry VIII did not rule the world. He took over the world twice. Twice. Yeah. Yeah, twice. So King Henry VIII did not rule the world. He just ruled England. That's right.

Yeah. See, I'm a little confused with it. But to be honest with you, I'm watching the Tudors and I'm also texting 35 people, reading Sapiens, clipping my toes and fucking eating broccoli. And Snapchatting with true blue psychopaths. And just fucking tucking my dick back and trying to see how big of a fucking gap I need. How does it look when you do that? You know, it looks, it feels good.

Yeah. Sometimes I squeeze my nuts too hard, but what are you going to do? But, you know, there was many, many European royal divorces slash annulments before 1533. There was, so Henry VIII gets the credit because it was so famous. Okay. And because, like you said, him declaring himself the head of the church of england and breaking off right from the pope um and closing all the churches there whatever um but there was many before him 1152 louis the seventh of france and eleanor of aquitaine

1190 philip ii augustus of france french they were you know because they fucking fuck them french fuck around a lot. They cheat a lot. Yeah, but I mean, it's not really cheating in France. It's just like... Just being French. Yeah, they just believe like sex is like, you know, it's like a need like eating and drinking. Like if you fall in love with someone, then that's grounds for divorce.

But if you just have sex... Like actually even Anna Boleyn back in that time, like it was understood that he's the King Henry VIII. He's going to want to have sex with other women, especially while she's pregnant and she can't really fuck. So he could have a mistress. But she, because Anna Boleyn was a cunning bitch, she wanted to pick his mistress. So she was like, you can have, because she could control bitches. But she understood. But it was understood back then that men just need to have sex.

Now we live in, it's interesting, it's almost more conservative now than it was back then in some ways. In that weird way. Which is wild. Yeah. And then we had John I of England and Isabella of Glowchester.

Glowchester. Glowchester, like fucking Gloucester from... Gloucester. That's like a town in Boston. Is it in Scotland?

Glowcester. Glowcester. Gloucester. $11.99. And then $11.99 also Constance. $12.16 Henry I. $12.29 James I of Aragon and Eleanor. It happened all the time. It happened amongst all these fucking elites.

It's always the elites. $12.54 Margaret and Raymond of Toulouse. $12.93 Margaret de Cleyre and Edmund, Earl of Cornwall. Do these places even exist anymore? What does it mean to be an Earl? and Raymond of Toulouse, 1293, Margaret de Clare and Edmund, Earl of Cornwall. Do these places even exist anymore? What does it mean to be an Earl? I don't know. Do they even have it anymore? You know what it just means?

It basically means you're just a big landowner and you've got a lot of surf. Do they still have Earls and Dukes, Zach? No, he was the Earl. The Earl of Cornwall. Can you look up what the who, what does that mean, the Earl of Cornwall? The Earl of Cornwall? Or the Earl of Lincoln. Thomas the Earl of Cornwall. Or the Earl of Lincoln. Thomas the Earl of Lincoln in 1318 got a divorce or an annulment, whatever.

Elizabeth of Lancaster and John Hastings. Anne of York and Henry Holland in 1472. Louis VII of France and Joan of France. And then Margaret Tudor. Margaret Tudor, cuz. And Archibald Douglas in 1527. Margaret Tudor. 1527, is thatald Douglas in 1527. Margaret Tudor. 1527.

Is that the Tudors? Might be. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. So an Earl was kind of a title like a Duke, but then a Duke superseded it, and it's all to do with your heirs and who gets what. Fucking landowning shit.

Yeah. Like what goes where. See, you go to history class, and it just boils down to fucking landowning and money, and certain people had land and money, and then certain people were working for those people, and they were peasants, and they kept those modes of control because they were smarter. Because it's all the same now. More educated. It's just different names, different things.

It's still the gaps the same. We don't die from the same diseases, but we still die. Like, who knows, bro? 200 years from now, like dying of cancer at 75, 80 years old, which would be like, that's a great life. People might be saying, do you remember when people used to die, period? Yeah. Like, you know, what about when we fucking merge with, you know, artificial intelligence? Like, people are going to be like, can you believe people used to not be able to be here forever?

I mean, it's different now that you can work your way up a lot easier. But make no mistake, me and you have the careers that we have, are even doing this podcast because we're trying to get more money, right? Yeah. And we're trying to have careers. Yeah. Right? Zach included. Yeah.

Right? But there are some people who are just born into money who, if they would be doing this, they'd be doing this strictly to pass time. They just never need money. Yeah. doing this they'd be doing this strictly to pass time they just never need money yeah those are the elites people's and that would be equivalent to an earl or a duke in in uh that's like anderson cooper like he's one of the vanderbilts like he doesn't need to be going he just does shit to do it he just doesn't need anything he doesn't need to do anything no he's got he's just from a royal elite family i give him credit dog i Guy works hard. True blue gay. Absolutely true blue gay. Top shelf gay.

He goes into war-torn countries to report out of the goodness of his heart. Because he really wants to help and he doesn't have to do any of that shit. He's a fucking trillionaire. Yeah, I didn't even know he was... What is he? Vanderbilt. He's a Vanderbilt. I didn't even know that. Isn't he Gloria Vanderbilt's son? I don't even know who Gloria Vanderbilt is. Well, we got Zachy on the

case right now, but I believe you're right. I believe you are right. Yeah, cuz. I mean, so, yeah, look, divorce has been happening since day one. It is on the rise. You know, people, we're third in the world for divorce. I don't know countries that don't get divorced. I mean,

I just don't know, cuz. I mean, you mean which country would be the least? Yeah, I don't know. Who gets divorced the least? I mean, I just don't know, cuz. I mean... You mean which country would be the least... The least... Yeah, I don't know. Who gets divorced the least? You know, I would get... If I had to guess, maybe it's fucking Chinese. Do the Chinese get divorced?

I would have to... They'd probably just kill their wives. I know Orthodox Jews, it's tough to get a divorce. You can't, right? Yeah, that's tough. That stuff, it's like almost illegal or something. So, I don't know. But that's not a country yeah i mean who gets the lowest official rate is in chile with three percent that's fucking wild they're catholic too aren't they yeah chile's a catholic country very religious

place huh interesting interesting interesting interesting how. Interesting. How about the gay marriage divorce rate? What's that up to? I think that's low, too. I would guess gay marriage divorce is low. No, I would say the women is low, lesbians is low. Guys don't like to be tied down. Guys just do not like to be tied down. We're about to find out.

Zach is Googling the gay divorce rate. The true blue divorce rate. What is it? A TPT. I bet you it's 100%. 97%. Gotta be. I'm not finding any numbers.

I'm seeing that it's higher than people would think. Let's see. Because I think it gets counted in with the normal divorce rate. I'm not sure if there's like a separate gay marriage divorce rate. Well, you just got to go to some of the right-wing sites that Chrissy has bookmarked. He'll tell you what the divorce divorce rate. I'm not sure if there's like a separate gay marriage divorce rate. Well, you just got to go to some of the right-wing sites that Chrissy has bookmarked. Yeah. He'll tell you what the divorce rate is.

Yeah, go ahead. You got Infowars bookmarked on your phone? No. Breitbart? Breitbart or anything? I don't really know anything about anything, like alt-right stuff. Even what's going on in the news right now.

To be honest with you, any time I'll put on CNN or even Fox News or anything, it's always like Trump, Comey, or Trump investigations, Robert Mueller. I just don't watch it. I just put on SportsCenter, or I watch fucking Trolls on Netflix. I just don't care anymore. Is that bad? No, it's a good time to tune out.

I just don't care. It's annoying. Syria could be the end of everything. Do you really feel that, Giannis? It could be. Do you think that we're going down the path now? It could be the end of everything you think do you really feel that you honestly think that we're going down the path now it could be man it's just it seems like there's a lot of uh powerful interest there and usually that's how if you look back at world war one and world war two

it happens like that where the proxy war has become actual wars at some point that's going to happen us in russia and china we've all been fucking around with these proxy wars for a long time in korea yeah uh you know in fucking afghanistan all over the place even including cold war stuff like cuba eventually it's gonna get fucking real you know it's gonna get fucking real we're gonna shoot it's gonna usually it's probably some accidental shit where we bomb some russian outposts we didn't know they were there and you know then we kill actual russian soldiers and then it's a problem yeah which i think already happened once uh in in Syria by accident.

It wasn't Russian soldiers, it was Russian mercenaries or contractors. Yeah, because that's going to be the issue. I think that happened already. But anyway, Henry's divorce or attempt to divorce, the battle for that happened in 1527. So it's really only been, what, a couple centuries, you know, where in the Western world, divorce became, you know, part of the public consciousness. And the word divorce was created, you know, Captain of Aragon. And then Henry broke with Rome in 1533 and declared himself the head of the new church.

That happened in 1533. So, you know, not that long ago. Not that fucking long ago. So I found some numbers on these gay marriages. It's kind of by area. In the United States, there's not a huge amount of numbers, because it actually is kind of new if you actually look back at the time. I'm getting a common answer of 2% to 5%.

But in the United Kingdom, it's found that it's up to 78%, and lesbians are two and a half times more likely to divorce than gay male couples. Wow. Wow. Yeah, because women can be really naggy. And when you get two of them in there, they cross in streams. Crossing streams of nagginess. It's like Ghostbusters.

You're just crossing streams. Interesting. I mean, I'm being sexist right now, but I mean, the numbers don't lie. 78%. 78%? 78%? Up to 78%. In England? Yeah, in the UK. In the United States, you said 2%?

I'm finding a bunch of different answers, but the common ground I'm finding is 2% to 5%. That's pretty low. Fucking gays figured it out. Gays figured it out but joe here's the first the actual when the when the divorce was 1552 that was the first of henry's marriage to ann led to precisely precisely one divorce in 1552 yeah that's fucking wild oh there you go another four That's fucking wild. Oh, there you go.

Another fart. Three. But yo, the term was not even used again after 1552. Yeah, until 1671. 1670. Close. Close. Wow. Yeah, wow.

See? Yeah, even while Protestant Europe was beginning to embrace that idea that there could indeed be justifiable reasons for ending a marriage. England actually made a fucking turn backwards. And not only did Henry VIII's new church come out against divorce,

but it also far outstripped Catholic Europe in the restrictions on the granting of annulments. So they went backwards. They were granting divorces and then they went fucking full backwards. Interesting. Yeah. The Church of England's resistance to divorce.

That's pretty ironic that the Church of England was founded in divorce because of divorce. Yeah. And then they went back strongly against it. Yeah. The resistance to divorce was so strong that the only route to a divorce actually became had to go through an act of parliament. So a law that was voted through both houses of parliament.

So it became pretty fucking hard to get a divorce. What is the Church of England today? Is it still just the Church of England? Is that still the name of it? Yeah. Then there was a divorce law enacted in 1857. And that's when the floodgates opened.

Fucking people were like, I'm done. But I guess before that, they just kind of white knuckled through. Yeah. The number of divorces in English history stood only at a mere 324, though. So only 324 people got divorced. Sorry, guys. To that point. Yeah.

Only four of the 324 cases were brought by women. It was all dudes asking for divorces. Well, because it was sick, too. Back in the day, if you got divorced, if the woman, even if it was agreed to, the woman still had to act like the guy was her husband. So he could go fuck other bitches and be married. But if they found out she was with other dudes, they fucking kill her it was a real patriarchal system no question right yeah i mean that's one of those are good old days no hold on here comes another one

um your farts sound like there's something wrong with your that was a fart where it i had such a weird shaped asshole that sometimes i have i rip a fart so hard that it blows a breeze on the back of my testicle it sounds like there's something wrong with your fucking asshole yeah maybe it's warts the 1857 matrimonial causes act allowed ordinary people to divorce so that's when it started really

so it didn't start even though it traces back to 1527 with fucking Henry VIII a common person could not get a divorce. So that's when it started, really. So it didn't start. Even though it traces back to 1527 with fucking Henry VIII, a common person could not get a divorce until 1857, which was wild. So people were just probably white-knuckling it, cheating, but they just, like you said, they continued to act like man and woman. Well, they would separate, but they

just wouldn't get divorced. They just couldn't get divorced. Well, because... It was like an illegal abortion. You couldn't officially get it done, but you'd do it in a back alley. You know what? I got good news for you because you're not going to be one of the 324 divorced people because what's going to happen for you is your wedding's going to be great. You're going to have children. What's the point of me getting divorced?

What's the point? Well, I'm telling you what's going to happen. Your wife. Except freedom. Yeah, but you don't want that. Your wife is going to one day come home, and you're going to be masturbating with stockings on and the Marisa wig. And you're going to be watching transgender porn. And your baby's going to be sleeping and coughing for air, and you're so locked in.

And what she's going to say, she's kind of going to all hit her. She's going to say, you know, I thought I married a man, but I married a woman trapped inside what used to be a man's body. A woman that used to be trapped inside a man's body. God messed up. That's right. So she's going to accept that. And being the good hearted person that she is, she's to say for the sake of our child I'm not going to get a divorce but I want you to express

who you really are and what's going to happen is she is going to marry like an actual real man and you're just going to be like the third wheel woman of the relationship you're going to be like you know what's going to be great for you you know what's actually really going to happen I think you're going to get what you've always wanted

is you truly will become a woman no a woman but you'll be in a situation where you are where you started as a man and you and then you you start as the father role but you're going to then take on the mother role and you're going to finally morph into an actual hyena and you're you are going to be the human embodiment of a fucking pseudo penis and that's what's going to happen and zach shaking his head because we know we kind of just hit it. So don't worry about divorce. You didn't marry the kind of woman who's going to divorce you. You married the kind of woman who's going to say, I accept you for the actual woman that you are.

And you'll be my best friend. And we'll name our son. And we'll name our son, you know, Victor or something. Whatever the fuck Greek name. I really don't know who I am deep down. Yeah. This, I tell you, when I'm trying to find what feels the best, this right here feels the best. You know how you always...

Does this sound natural to you? You know how you always joke with me and you say there's a sense of calmness that happens when I eat a black and white cookie? There's a sense of calmness I see when you talk... I could just be like this. Yeah, when you talk like a millennial girl, it just... Yeah. That's why they're probably so free, like this. Yeah. When you talk like a millennial, when you talk like a millennial girl. Yeah. It just, yeah.

That's why they're probably so free, the millennials. Yeah. They don't have any stress. And like, you could be a straight guy and be like, this is how I talk. Yeah.

Let's go. Where are we going tonight? Yeah. Fucking cool. We're getting Thai food. So cool. Well, we had Thai yesterday. Let's go get Korean barbecue.

Yeah. That's what I call the rich person trail off when you're like too tired to just like finish the word you know have you ever heard that yeah just kind of like trail off like you California do you want some more avocado yeah they never had to like put any effort into anything their whole life it was just like 100 to me it's like that guy is such an oppressive, like, right-wing Trump supporter. Because, you know what we got to do? We have to read our Patreon members.

Are we at the end of the episode already? Yeah. Oh, my God, that flew by. That was the hardest work I've ever done. Okay. And we really worked hard for that. Thank you so much for listening. Like, we totally talked about kinking with the eighth.

Yes. Okay. So, first up, thank you for the new Patreon members who have joined. If you guys liked our pod—you know, you guys like our podcast, thank you for listening on iTunes or wherever you guys are listening. If you want to become part of our channel and want to become part of our community, go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. Join our community.

$1, $5, whatever you got. And there's a lot of bonuses. They're prizes. You can think of them as prizes. Yeah, I like to say prizes. Yeah, prizes is fun. I'm going to start. When I pitch it, I'm going to call them prizes.

And so our community is called the Matriarch because we're hyenas and it's a matriarchal society. So the new members of the Matriarch are. He's first on the list, but I'm going to put him last. So first off, we got Jennifer Ann. Thank you. Two first names. Maybe related to Amber Lynn.

Amber? Close. The end of the eighth would behead you. Brad Seaman. Yo, Brad Seaman. Yeah, he was in our live chat today. Mike Dominey. Yo, what up, Mike Dom good name, Brad Seaman. Yeah, he was in our live chat today. Mike Dominey. Yo, what up, Mike Dominey? How you doing? Susan Taylor.

Susan. This is Evan Scott. Oh, that's a real wasp name. Evan Scott. He owns the color red, his family. Evan Scott. He's a fucking good kid. And then here's one of yours.

Adis Intisempilis. Adis Intisempilis. Yes. Aris Intisempelis. Aris Dicanis Posizere. Isaline Kamalaka. Yes. This next guy is named Mutated Axe Wound.

Mutated Axe Wound. Yeah. Yeah, that's the guy you're going to Snapchat with for the next couple months. I couldn't believe it. He seemed like a normal guy. Yeah, and then he just showed me pictures of victims in his basement. Yeah, and then he started sending me Snapchats of his open asshole with a picture of Chris in there. Yeah, and I was like, ah, it's whatever. It's weird, dude.

Yeah, here's my phone number. Text me when you're in town. And by the way, we record in this address at this time. Come on down. Bring us smoothies. Yeah. Michael Geary. Michael Geary.

What up, cuz? Ricky Regalado. Yo, Ricky's a good name. Ricky. Blair Burke. Another wasp. Blair's definitely a wasp. Bobby Regalado. Yo, Ricky's a good name. Ricky. Blair Burke. Another wasp. Blair's definitely a wasp. Bobby Boucher.

Yo, Bobby Boucher. Fuck him. You got some fuckers. My gut. Shawnee. Shawnee McGinnis. Shawnee, how you doing? Shawn, how are you?

So your parents here, they became cops and you're a cop. Mark Cicero. You're fucking coppers. Mark Cicero. Yo, Mark Cicero. Roman kid. Hey, and then Mark. Mike.

Mark. We got Mark Cicero. And then we got Mikey Car Mark Cicero. Yo, Mark Cicero. Roman kid. Hey, and then Mark Cicero. And then we got Mikey Caruso. Yo, Mikey Caruso, how you doing? You a detective in the 73, the 74, the 75, or the 76? Then we got Goran Sifijinovic. Fucking Goran. Goran. From today.

Yeah, Goran. Goran's a good kid. And then last but not least, I wanted to end on a fucking guy who we told him on Facebook Live today that he was this week's Pseudo-Penis of the Week. PPW. PPW for his work that he's been doing, guys. Hold on. Hyena cackles.

What? He's been the one who every time we post a meme of our faces on someone else's body, it's usually either one guy, his name is Jeff Vinicia, who we shouted out before, but the guy who's really been doing it, and Jeffs are great, but the guy who's really been doing it, like stepping up above and beyond and giving us one, sometimes two a day, let's clap it up, Pseudo Penis of the Week, Andrew Agos. Thank you, Andrew. Thank you for your service, Andrew Agos. You can see all of the memes he creates, all the Photoshop photos of me and Chris in the Bay Ridge Boys

group on Facebook. We really appreciate all your work. You are the PPW Pseudo Penis of the Week. Thank you guys so much for all your support and for listening.

Go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. Be a part of our community. And as I say at the end of every episode, if you guys know a baker or you know anyone who's into cake designs,

if they could design and bake us a cake in the shape of a hyena pseudopenis, we would be forever grateful. And you would be the honorary Pseudopenis of the Week, PPW, for five weeks in a row. Can I ask you a quick question? Yeah. What are they supposed to do with this pseudopenis? Are they sending it to us or are they just taking a picture and showing us? And then they're going to eat the—who's going to fucking present a cake of a pseudo penis to somebody to eat

what are they supposed to do with it if you live in the New York area if you live in the New York area don't give our address out over the fucking air I won't give it away on public but you can message us you can

brb.patreon at gmail.com send us an email or write in the community board that you can do it and then we'll find a way that you message us or we'll find a way

to message you and we'll get and you'll be able to present the pseudo penis cake to us here in the studio and we'll eat it and then we'll find a way that you message us we'll find a way to message you and we'll get and you'll be able to present the pseudo penis cake to us here in the studio and we'll eat it and even though the owner of the studio robert kelly will kill someone i mean he almost killed for eating a piece of shawarma we will defy all the rules and we'll eat the cake live on the air in the studio okay yeah that's good all right guys thank you so much for listening we love you bye cute Okay. Yeah. That's good. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening. We love you. Bye. Bye. Cute. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់