History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 123 - Garrett Morgan Was Screwed In

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

The Cuzzies come in HOT! The first 15 minutes was just too crazy to air, but Chrissy's back from the Impractical Jokers Cruise and back in Yanni's lap! We get into the screwed-in kid Garrett Morgan, the unsung hero of black history and innovation, his legacy and why we think he's looked over!  Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

what's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the History Ahinas. With me, as always, Yanni, Grandma Hare, and I'm Chrissy Paul Abdul. We're going to have a good show tonight. Right out of the gate. Right out of the History of Hyenas. With me, as always, Yanni, Grandma Hair, and I'm Chrissy Paul Abdul. We're going to have a good show tonight. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate, you're giving us legal problems. Everybody turn off their phones.

The first order of business is I just want to say that March 19th, we have a second show that's been added at the Gramercy Theater in New York City. It will be a completely different show from the early show March 19th. So if you want to double dip and come see two potty waddies that are completely different, buy tickets to the second show. And if you got asked out on the first show, we did add a second show. We also have a live show April 29th in Norwalk, Connecticut at the Wall Street Theater.

That show is going to be outstanding and it's going to all get gay and wild. Historyhyenas.com, Christycomedy.com, GiannisPapasComedy.com for all the tickets, and of course, Grindr.com. Yeah, go to Historyhyenas.com and get the rest of those tickets, the second added show at Gramercy. It's going to be wild. It's going to be wild it's gonna be wild now listen what are we gonna do to make it special we're gonna

well first of all I'm just trying to set you up for just an opportunity to tell people you're gonna show them you're open asshole I'm gonna show them I'm an open asshole

but the first show we're gonna be us and the second show we're all gonna switch jobs so I don't know what it's gonna be but maybe Mike and Venetia will be the Australians

and we'll do the soundboard or maybe or maybe I'll be you and you be venetia and then mike will be me we're going to do something wire i'm gonna kiss a guy we're gonna come out in the first episode as guys we're coming out in the second episodes as girls it's just what that's what we're gonna fucking do it's just what it is that's right and i'm gonna come in i'm gonna come when they announce this in the second show i'm gonna come in riding mike yeah it's what it is i got. I got my Lula. And you're going to ride the Russian kid. I still don't know his name. He's been with us a month.

His name's Andrew. He's a comedian. Who isn't? Venetia, when's your first comedy set? Yeah, what are you going to do? You're open. Mine. I will publicly marry Venetia at the second show.

So wear nice clothes because make no mistake, just like Puerto Ricans, we're going to turn a place that's not meant for weddings into a reception hall. I just need to do her comedy show. Get away from me. I think everyone's doing comedy. Yeah, everybody just does comedy. I don't know what's happening. Just stick to what you're good at, guys. Okay?

Just. I mean, what are we doing here? Everybody could just do whatever they want. I mean, do we have to wait, Shun-Chin, and cackle it? I'm just taking shots, but I'm kidding. I fucking love the both. We got to cackle all day. I love the both of them, but it really is wild that everyone just does stand up now.

I mean, you know, I mean, it's just like i mean i've been doing this thing for 10 11 years and i'm just kind of getting good now yeah but you think because you do a podcast about whatever bullshit topic that people aren't going to care about in two years you could just do a stand-up tour you're a fucking idiot yeah you're you're you got a mental illness worse than comedians who have mental illness and like yannis had said somebody just asked me on Instagram, they said, why don't you come down and do...

That's a no! Because the guy who owns his name... And he requests that you call him... When you get in his car where he picks you up from the airport, guy, I'm never doing your room! We gotta cackle all this! Get it out.

It's what it is. And we're back. And we're back. But the important thing is we had fun even though we couldn't air any of that. We couldn't air any of that. What's going on today, cuz? I'm just kidding around. Are you still plant-based?

I'm fucking back. I'm about 80% plant-based now. And I have a fart stuck in the right side of my abdomen that's about to come out because I've been eating mostly oatmeal and broccoli. And I've been with my mother for the past 24 hours, so I haven't been able to text anybody or respond to my DM, so I'm mad. I always notice when you spend a lot of time with your mother in Ridgewood, you come out of it and you start taking swings at innocent people because all your mom's trying to do is just make you responsible and make sure that you're safe, and you don't like that. I fired everyone on my team today. Yeah, you don't like that. I fired my PR lady, and I told our fucking truffle pig manager

he's not getting any more than 10%. Well, I don't know what you want. We don't need any articles in newspapers anymore. Oh, we got a cackler name, and we can keep everything else. We got to cackle the name. Oh, we got a cackler name and we can keep everything else. We got to cackle the name. Yeah, we got to cackle the name. I'm sorry. We're giving Mike a lot of work to remember.

Mike's good, though. But sometimes this is just good to warm up. Yeah. Just say things that are fucking wild that need to be cackled. Because you know what you just were? You know what it just reminded me? You came out and you were swinging in the dark. Yeah.

You closed your eyes and you started taking swings. And whoever was in your area got hit. It's just what it is. You kind of reminded me of Clarice Starling at the end of Silence of the Lambs. Yeah, where I'm just swinging in the dark. You're just shooting in the dark. And you did hit. You hit Buffalo Bill.

It's what it is. By Buffalo Bill, I mean. I mean. Cackle, cackle, cackle. It's what it is. We got to cackle. Those are for me. Cackle that as well.

Cackle that as well. We're back. It's what it is. Because this is exciting. Just die already. You want to try to have the whole episode cackled? I think I'm having a heart attack No, no, no, I hope you are Benetia looks like my mom, I swear it

It's what it is I look like a distant cousin You do Listen But Chris says we all look alike because we look like what? We look like hair and cigarettes Yeah, eyebrows and cigarettes I don't know what you do

Just fucking give me french fries with gravy on it I don't fucking know what's going on. I was born. I'm sorry. Wei Zhongzhen. Sorry. That's the last one. No, that's the last one.

Yeah. Well, that one, it's always with you. I'm going, do we cackle or do we Wei Zhongzhen? Yeah. We got a lot of pads here. Let's just do it. Yeah, it's like, you know. Can we say that?

Yeah, it is Maverick Month. Yeah. No, we can't say that word. It means black in Greek. In Spanish it's negro. No problem then. I got a box of lakeside maple and if you think this isn't going in my ass you got another thing coming.

I'm getting ready to scoot. I'm in my fucking Lululemon pants and I feel good. I ran three miles today and I'm getting back with scoot. I'm in my fucking Lululemon pants, and I feel good. I ran three miles today, and I'm getting back with my baby's mama. Chris is fucking losing it. Yeah. If you don't think that you can walk it, when he gets a fresh new supply of Lakeside Maple. Thanks to the bitch at CityMD that went through my fucking records.

You got fired. I tried to save you, but you can't notice me from the podcast. Google if I had chlamydia or not because you probably weren't because I banged your friend. Is that legally? Do we have to cancel? No, they went through my record. That's true. We didn't say anything. I got a lakeside maple. I got an ass. Put it on

the floor and scoot around. Wow. Yo, Chrissy Chaos is coming in fucking hot. We're going to keep it here. Chrissy Chaos is coming in fucking hot. We're going to keep it here. Chrissy Clarice Starling. Yeah. He's shooting in the dark. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Everyone's getting hit because. Everyone's getting hit. I don't think. Buy tickets to our fucking show. You better buy the rest of the tickets. Norwalk, Connecticut. What the fuck else are you doing out there? Wall Street Theater. Nobody listens to it, so we're going to say no.

We're only doing big things now. We're the new Ali Wong. We don't do podcasts. Yeah, that's what I love about you. What can you do? I took a swing at the group text, and you said, no, don't do that. Let's keep it professional. And then you just wait for the podcast to say it.

It's nice to just fucking be free and honest. I mean, people just got to know we're in the comedy business. We're in the comedy business. We don't got time to waste. Like, it's not personal. I love everybody personal. But, you know, if you want us to do something, it's got to be worth our time. Yeah, I mean, we're trying to move tickets here.

You know what I mean? I mean, we're trying to do the thing. I mean, like, Norwood, Connecticut. Look, if you're in the Norwood, Connecticut area. It's on a Wednesday, and tickets are $100. I mean, what do you think is going to happen? Are they $100? It's ridiculously priced.

No, it's well-priced. It's a good price. It's going to be fun. Come out and see it. I don't know how much they are. But it is on a Wednesday. Are they fucking $100? No, no, no, no.

Not $100. I'll find out. Yeah. Well, I was going to say, if you're in Norwood. No, they're $30. Okay, that's good. You got me nervous for a second 30 bucks with a $70 tax Are they really $100?

No they're not They're decently priced I would have a problem with it They're $29 to $49 It's a good price We'll see if the kid makes it We'll get a strong dose of Chrissy Truth syrups Yeah some of this is going to be cut down to 15 minutes

Did you come out of the house without your butt plugged today? Yeah I did Somebody corked this kid up Get the maple open Open the bag Get the maple get the funnel Yeah because look I've been watching a lot of To Catch a Predator clips on YouTube, and it seems like Connecticut is a hotspot for pedophiles.

It's just what it is. There's a lot of people in the Fairfield area that are on that show. Yeah. So look, you got nothing else to do out there, and we want to keep you away from touching kids, so come to a fucking show, Connecticut. Babe, we haven't been in studio in about two weeks. They changed the desk. Big deal.

We're still leaving. It's just what it is. Yeah. As soon as Barstool gives you okay, we're out of here. So what can you do? It doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter. It doesn't work for us.

This is our squad, and it's what it is. We got our people here, and we'll take them and move them wherever they go. I mean, we could just pack this operation up and move it to wherever we want. It's like we're going to the beach. We're a pack and play. We did. If you know what a pack and play is, if you have kids, it's a pack and play. It's a crib and you open it up and close it up and then you could play anywhere.

And that's what we are. You can't hold us down. We'll never give you guys a percentage of our Patreon and people are going to start getting cut left and right. We are. The only people that we need is our crew and you guys the fans you guys the fans truly truly truly truly truly keep us going through all this so thank you so much for your support patreon.com slash bay ridge boys uh for all the goodies yeah we will eventually start doing this podcast from uh undisclosed locations yeah i mean we'll find fucking tunnels we'll find fucking tunnels.

We'll be on the run. You won't catch us. You won't stop us. You won't stop us. And we're going to, we're, we've got new big ideas coming and it's going to be great. Guess what, Chrissy? Why? It's still yeah me month.

It's still not me month. Yeah me. Today we got a good one. I mean, this kid, we're going to talk about Garrett Morgan. His name is Garrett Augustus Morgan Sr. He's a cute kid with a great hairline. I mean, he'll get kissed on the lips immediately. He was born March 4th, 1877 in Kentucky, and then he died in 1963 in Cleveland, which is where people go to die in Cleveland.

I'll be there February 28th, 29th. And if you are a pimp, if you've ever been a real pimp like that was your job you owe a token of appreciation to garrett morgan why because he invented hair relaxer wow so anytime you see a pimp and his hair thank garrett morgan for creating that good hair so what's garrett morgan actually several inventions i mean this guy he improved the sewing machine and the traffic signal the the red yellow green signal we have right now is because of garrett morgan garrett morgan is so anytime you're stopped in traffic it's garrett morgan is the reason why you're keeping is why you're safe why haven't we had more um black guests for yami month. We do. We're going to have. We had Mike Cannon.

We had. Yeah. I blame our interfere. Well, Yamanika is coming on. We got. And then we have. Yamanika is so black. She counts for two.

She counts for two. So we have. We just need to fill two more slots. Yeah. Two more slots. We're going to have Roy Wood Jr. Coming on. He definitely counts. I got to get him.

And we had Andrew Schultz on. Oh, that's right. I forgot about Schultz. Yeah. Okay. We had Schultz on. Okay. So.

Because I was going to say, if we got Seton Smith, does that count or no? Should we wait for Jumon? No, because Seton Smith is a great comedian, but he is a small white woman. Either that or he feels like a black guy who converted to Judaism. Yeah, he has a vibe like that. What can you do? No, we're just kidding.

He's a good kid. Garrett Morgan also created a respiratory device that would later provide the blueprint for World War One gas masks. And if you saw 1917, you know that World War One gas masks are fucking cute and were and were very necessary to stop the Germans because the Germans are just throwing mustard gas at people. It's what it is. Yeah. They were designed by Ralph Lauren. Yeah, they weren't.

Hugo Boss owns, if you were gonna do a top ten list, a BuzzFeed top ten list of the fucking hottest stylist, most stylish uniforms. Yes. Is anyone else even on the list besides Hugo Boss? Like, we should look into that.

I would say the Hugo Boss Nazi uniforms are number one. British Red Coats, number two. Oh, yeah. Who does that? What about the Greek battalion that wears tutus? Those are fucking cute. What are those guys? Those are the Afzonas.

The Afzonas are three. Those guys are wearing dresses. U.S. And that's how Greeks fight. Because when the Turkish or invading armies come, they get confused because they look over the mountaintop and they just see a bunch of chicks and dresses. Yeah. And they're like, they drop their weapons and like, what's up? Let's go get some puss.

And then it's just Greek men. It's just Greek. Just a bunch of tranny's ready to fucking trample. Yeah. It's what it is. Yeah. It's a strategy we use. You know, it's another interesting fact about Garrett Morgan.

This guy's he was married at three kids with a Bavarian woman named Marianne Hasek. She's a black Bavarian. This woman like black guys. She was she loved black guys. When he would come home, she'd say, he'd say, baby, is dinner ready? And she would say, yes, if major mashed potatoes

and if I said major sausage. He said, no, baby, you married a black man. Give me some chicken, give me some collard greens, and give me some mac and cheese. It's yummy, man. It's the food. me some chicken give me some collard greens and give me some mac and cheese yes it's yeah me month yeah yeah it's the food i'm not we can't pretend that's not the food that black people like black people fucking love chicken yeah and there's nothing wrong with that they do is there anything

wrong everyone loves chicken also is why are white people the biggest problem like lamb greek is like fucking lamb can we just talk about i mean because every time you watch the news It's like saying Greeks like lamb. Greeks like fucking lamb. Can we just talk about – I mean because every time you watch the news, it's like how bad whites are. Are white people the biggest problem to black people? I mean are we really their biggest – we're fucking – come on. It's like there's way bigger problems in the black community than fucking what some white idiot is saying about you. I think it's either whites or diabetes are the biggest. Biggest issue. Way bigger issues.

Way bigger issues. But we need a black – We're going to get Roy. Roy Wood said he would love to come on. He's just so busy with The Daily Show. Yamanika is clinically insane. And she's having a funeral for one of her cats. She can't make it. And his name.

Michael Che won't write back because his ego is through the fucking roof. He'll wear a North Face in July. Let's make a. People. It's great. It's fucking really nice to watch people try to think that they matter. Yes. It's just to watch, watch them dig deep.

Like we were saying, like when the director of the Impractical Jokers movie was just talking for an hour yesterday. I mean, his wife's Brooke Shields, you know, it's like you're just talking. We're like, guy, just put the fucking movie on. Yeah. You're thanking everybody. We don't care. Nobody cares.

Nobody cares. Everyone's looking at their phones. Yeah. I mean, if I was in a movie or I directed a movie, it's like, just press play. Yeah. Watch the movie. Right. I don't fucking, oh, you got to tell me about this and that.

Yeah, you got to exist. Shut up. We got to stay there and watch the credits. Look, my name. Good for you. It doesn't matter. It's all going away immediately. I just thought of a really good movie for you.

What's the movie? A Nazi, like a Brokeback Mountain Like meets like Schindler's List movie Where like you're a Nazi soldier And you take Pervitin And you do all that stuff Panzer Chocolat

Yeah, but you start an affair with another Nazi soldier Where you guys just run off and you fuck Okay And it takes place in the hills of France. Okay. After you guys take over France and you're an occupying army and you guys just sneak off to fucking sit down with your socks and shoes off, light some candles outside and eat French cheese and drink wine because you're a full blown.

We need a cackle there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But how funny would that be? Like a Nazi Brokeback Mountain movie.

And you would be a prime candidate to star in that movie. I would do it. Because you're a handsome, masculine looking man. But when you move around, there's just fucking sugar in your tank. It's just what it is. You just got a little sugar in your tank. I got a little sugar in my tank. I'm a little sweet in the ass.

Yeah, because when you go to recharge, you just stop by a sweet store. You don't go to the gas station. No. Fill me up with sugar, honey. Yeah, fill me up with sugar. Yeah. It's just what it is. That would be a good movie.

Yeah. What would we call it? What would we call it? We would call it. We would call it Darth. Darth German. Darth. No, we call it Max and Steuben.

That's the story of how Max and Steuben's made. Maybe that's the story. That's the movie. Max and Steuben's. That's how we met. Maybe we just figured out the whole story of how Max and Steuben's became Max and Steuben's the story. Marx and Stevens, that's how we met. Maybe we just figured out the whole story of how Marx and Stevens became Marx and Stevens. Yes.

They started, so then we're more of a period piece. Yes. That means Marx and Stevens takes place in the 50s or 60s. Yes. But we met as teenagers in the Nazi army and we started to feel like Brokeback Mountain and the hills of Bavaria while we were marching Jews to the ovens.

I caught Max's eyes and he caught mine. And that's how we recognized in each other that we were both gay. So then the next thing happened, we was in Sweden watching the oil fields and we was having a sauna. And I left a little piece of shit on the side of the steam room to just give a signal to stupid that I was homosexual. And he put his shit next to mine. And the next thing you know, we fucked in the steam room in Sweden.

Yeah! That's it. I think that's the movie. That's the movie, guy. Yeah, that's the fucking movie. Let's call up this fucking Impractical Jokers director. And then we gotta hide it from all the Nazis. We can't do it because we live in germany and then we get killed we get killed by a lot of angry romanian fucking civilians who are getting retribution after the boys ended the war i'm in and that's how we die yeah yeah aaron morgan worked on a lot of

sewing machines yeah and uh and he the kid liked to sew. And Mike Emojiface can just play Sancho Panza in every movie. Yeah. Even though it takes place in Germany, there's just a Mexican guy with a sombrero. Yeah. Yeah. And Benetia is just a Greek. She'll play a Greek goat. Yeah.

And every movie, Mike is just Nacho Libre. And then the Russian kid can play a comedian. Yeah. The Russian kid. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking great. Yeah. Are you a stand-up for real? comedian. Yeah, the Russian kid. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking great. Yeah. Are you a stand-up for real?

Yeah, he does stand-up. What can you do? Listen, I think what I like about Garrett Morgan was the kid, he had so – you can't stop – the thing is with exceptional people in history, it doesn't matter what time they were born. It doesn't matter what was for them, what was against them. They're just going to stand out because they have superior brains. And Garrett Morgan is the definition of a kid who had a superior brain. I mean, he was born. He was like one of seven.

You know, I wasn't one of seven. One of seven kids. He was born like deep somewhere in Kentucky. Now, look, if you're born deep into Kentucky. Yeah. You got problems if you're black. You got problems if you're black. And if you're born in Kentucky, like if you want to do anything in your life, you got to hop

on a train and get out of Kentucky. You know what I mean? What's the reason? Why are the South in that time? Why were they so backwards thinking? I understand that it's because the industry was there that they felt they needed the slaves for the cotton and all that and i get that from a smart white man's point of view how even though it's horrifying i get how they could say okay we need them to do

this but the other mike's taking a call from bobby um so so but what what's the other stuff why why do the back why do the backwoods? Why is he just taking a call in the middle of the podcast? I don't know. It better be something medical. Yeah. Because if that's Bobby. Yeah.

I mean, we're going to have a big problem. No. But so, like, why? I don't understand, like, why, like, these backwoods people, like, genuinely thought, like, these Kentucky idiots, like, like not i don't use i don't mean to single out kentucky but like southern states like what why did they think that they were better than someone because they were black you don't understand you need for progress and for a healthy progressive society that is advanced you definitely need gay people openly gay people sure you need jews right right uh and you need

you need minorities okay right you just need it okay without that if if a place is just too white it just it gets stiff and breaks right like you ever notice that like if you're in a room with like six or more white guys nothing good is going to happen in that room. Right. Somebody's going to either put their balls on somebody else's face. Right. Or somebody's going to, like, take out a guitar and start strumming Dave Matthews. Yeah.

It's just bad. You just want to get out of that room. They're going to start to have plans. Yeah. And they're not going to be good plans. And then it just devolves into that. Or it goes the other way, where it's like, because that's the good time. Right.

The good time is like a Daveave matthews fucking concert right the bad time is the next thing you know there's plans to to wipe some people off the earth yeah you can't have that that's not good that's not good right i've tried to tell you before british people um german people northern european european people do not have souls right you know i i look at german people and i can see right in their eyes that there's no feelings right you're dead inside i'm dead inside you're chrissy deads inside you're chrissy deads inside your chrissy juice box i'm chrissy juice box yeah you're just dead inside so you just need those things and in the south those are exactly the things they were repressing and so you can't have a successful civilization without fucking Jews and without gay people.

Yeah, I think it's also the industrial revolution. That too, but we're not talking about science. We're talking about reality. You need Jews and you need gays. Think about it. Look at ancient Greece. Probably the father of all things that are great in Western civilization. Right.

Who was it run by? Jews and gays. Exactly. Yeah. Everywhere you look, Germany, that got, you know, it got hot. A lot of the reason why Germany got hot and it got advanced, they were Jews. It was a nice place where there was a lot of Jews. Yeah.

Then they turned into Jews. And what happened? Yeah. We put them in a microwave. That's what can you do? That's what can you do? What happened to the Japanese? You look at the Asians.

Why are they doing so well now? They got Jews and gays. Right. So anywhere there's Jews and gays, you got a good chance. I got a new album coming out. It's called Jews and Gays. Yeah. Why do you think this comedy club's doing so good?

Jews and gays. Exactly. It's what it is. The tail lane is here and so is gnome. So is gnome. You need a guy with a rash and a guy with abs. It's just what it is. And that's what you need.

And you got them both. And we got them both in one. Mike, who was that a call from? Oh, I didn't put my phone in airplane mode, so it answered. Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay, now you need to discipline Mike.

No. Why? I believe him. No, I know, but just for content, because you can't do it. The one where we tried to have you yell at Veneti was very funny. So go ahead, discipline Mike.

Listen, you fucking Vida fucking cheese face. You can't take phone calls and get this fucking barn door out of here. You don't like the barn door? I actually do. I like CEO Chrissy. I like CEO Chrissy. There's so many Chrissy's. I only have three personalities.

One is a transgender woman. One is performing this weekend. One's performing this weekend. And I got another one who's an older Greek man. And that's it. You got a whole bunch. Chrissy Chaos. Chrissy Juicebox.

Chrissy Steelpipe Chrissy. And now we got a new one. Chrissy Truth Serum. And Chrissy CEO. Yeah. CEO Chrissy, you're just telling people what to do. You fired your whole team today. I fired my whole team today because, cuz, make no mistake, I'm a woman in charge.

Listen, listen, good truffle pig. Venetia's going to do your job from now on. Yeah, you're going down to 5%. What can you do? This kid, Garrett Morgan. Garrett Morgan, let's go back to him. I fucking like this kid. I agree with what you say.

You look back at history and you look at these time periods and you say, oh, there was definitely a zeitgeist. There was definitely a spirit of the time. That's a German word for spirit of the time. There was definitely a zeitgeist and people definitely followed that zeitgeist and were affected by that zeitgeist. And that zeitgeist was created by zeitgeist. Every time you say zeitgeist, I get harder and harder. There you go. Should I say it the German way when I say it?

Zeitgeist. And that zeitgeist was influenced by the zeitgeist before it. And that zeitgeist was influenced by the zeitgeist before it. And that zeitgeist was influenced by the zeitgeist before. Tons of chocolate. But it seems that people, individual humans and their genius is really the locomotive of history. Right. Because his crowning achievement. Garrett Morgan achievement Garrett Morgan

besides Hair Relaxer, which he made a lot of money selling to black kids and pimps still use it. So they can get their hair down. By the way, my favorite pimp name of all time is White Folks. You ever see that documentary? He was a white guy

who acted black or whatever and he was a pimp. And his name was White Folks. Yeah. So you think that's a 10? It's just funny. Yeah. It's just a funny thing.

So his crowning achievement, though, this is around like the early 1900s. Like the first car, I think, started hitting the streets at like 1915, 1916 or whatever. So at that time, you got to imagine it was pretty chaotic. The streets were pretty chaotic because they still had horses. They still had buggies. You know, the roads weren't designed for cars yet. The roads weren't designed cars yet. But this was a transition time where all those all those cars were all those cars and buggies were on the road at the same time because they started just cars started transitioning.

They started to start transitioning. There were years where, like, literally you were in traffic with a horse exactly you'd be in a car and there'd be a horse and buggy next to you and a guy on a bicycle and a guy running i mean it was just everyone was in the streets and there was no order to it and and and garrett morgan is really the person who lifted us into another era where people weren't just getting killed left and right because he created order in the streets by creating the traffic light, cuz. Yeah.

You know? But he didn't have in mind that yellow means speed up. Yeah, because that's how New York does it. I got to thank Garrett Morgan for my tickets. Yeah, Garrett Morgan's responsible for a lot of tickets. But yeah, he invented the fucking traffic light. He was also the first black man in Cleveland to own a car. He was a

brilliant, brilliant dude who not only was brilliant with his inventions, but he was very wily and Machiavellian about how he went about his life living at a time where there was so much discrimination

against yamins. Okay. What do you mean? Because he had a white wife? No, he ended up having a Bavarian wife. But no, he would go speak at these conventions for inventions. And he would hire some white dude to pretend to be the inventor. some white dude to pretend to be the inventor

and he would pretend to be his Indian assistant to kind of circumvent racism. People would just like had no problem because he just wanted to make money. Screwed in kid. Garrett Morgan was so fucking screwed in that the title

of this episode is Garrett Morgan was screwed in. Was screwed in. But Vanity is going to get mad because it fucks up the algorithm. Because she has OCD. Yeah. She wants everything to be uniform and equal. Yeah, it's what it is. She's the type of woman that if you marry her and the bed sheet touches the floor after

it comes out of the dryer, it's going back into the wash because it's now dirty. April is autism month and Vanity is our first guest. That's exactly right. It's what it is. Yeah, she's a little on the spectrum. Yeah. That's what happens with Greeks because we're inbred. Inbred kids.

So we're a little off. So wait, so you're saying. And you look like my mom. So you're saying. So you're saying. And you, I'm in your mom's range. It's what it is. Yeah, you're only 15 years younger than my mom.

16 years younger. That's right, your range. You're right in my range. Because if you ever start a date with my mom, I'd sneak it to that bed and stay at your feet. If I started dating your mom, I know it only lasts a couple of months because she kicked every guy to the curb to raise her son.

It's one that you would get kicked out, but make no mistake. If I still, to this day, when I sleep at my mom's house, I want to sleep in her room cause I'm scared. I know you do. Okay.

But Delilah's in there. So, so, so. His mom was Indian of descent. That's why he would pose. That's why he had, because he has good, his hair, he has like gray hair. He has Native American features because his mother was. But he had kinky hair though. And that's why he would pose.

He would straighten it with his. But you're saying that literally some convention for inventors, he would go to and people would think that Garrett Morgan was the white guy that he hired. But Garrett Morgan was that because he was saying they wouldn't buy the inventions if he was black. Exactly. Wow. It wouldn't be. They would. He had to.

That was the level of discrimination African-Americans. That's insane. Yo, you know, when you it's African African American plight is just a real fucking thing. It's just what it is. You know what I mean? And they deserve 12 months, because American history is black history. It really is. Truthfully, it is. American music is black music. American fashion is black

fashion. Yeah. American boyfriends is the one Vanity is with. It's just what it is. It's just who she likes. It's just who she likes. She's an American girl, and she likes black guys. Yeah. And it's just true, and we know it. And me and Chris were talking about it before, and we figured it out. Yeah, guess who else likes black guys? Mike.

Now, listen. I love black guys. Me too. In 1923. You still Google black guys without their shirt off? Yes, I do. Yeah. The new guy I'm into lately with Michael B. Jordan.

I've been looking a lot at him and perusing a lot of what his stuff can you imagine being named michael jordan and like having to go through life leaving your name at places yeah like hey uh give me a call back it's michael jordan then people going like is it michael and then they call and you know it's annoying i work i would be i work at my parents my name is michael jordan i'd sell cars at Auto Faction or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. You just got to change it. Some guys get so fucking good. It's like you just got to you can't you can't you know, you can call your dog Michael Jordan, but you can't be a person named Michael Jordan. It's like stupid. It's just like everyone's going to be like, think of the real Michael Jordan. Let me tell you about this. 1923

Garrett Morgan created the new type of traffic signal because, like you were saying, it came with a warning light to alert drivers that they would need to stop because he witnessed a carriage accident at an intersection and people got killed. So he was like, ah, this is the idea. So they didn't have – like the modern traffic light you see is Garrett Morgan. Exactly. With the blinking light. That's wild. You don't even think about that. Because he invented the traffic light.

He also invented the gas mask in World War I. Why is Garrett Morgan not famous but the ShamWow guy is? I don't know. You know, Garrett Morgan, here's the thing about Garrett Morgan. Before we did this episode, I really didn't know what he was famous for. And I thought the same thing. I go, why don't more people talk about garrett morgan yeah it's like um what's your mccall i'm just i'm having a yanni alzheimer's moment what happened

tell me not booker t babe uh booker t is the last one george washington carver when you look into it really didn't do that much but he got famous everyone knows he didn't do that much, but he got famous. Everyone knows he didn't do that much. No, you look into it. He didn't invent peanut butter. He didn't really invent anything, really. You're saying Garen Morgan did more than George Washington Carver. George Washington Carver was very smart. He was brilliant. He hung around brilliant people, whatever. The crop rotation is really his

biggest achievement, which is like big whoop. You know what I mean? He figured out like, hey, if you grow cotton for a year, fucking switch it out, grow some franks and beans, and then go back to cotton. It's good for the soil, which is a good thing. It helped small farmers who were struggling competing with the northern economy. I get it. But like this kid changed the world.

Right. And why is it everyone knows George Washington Carver and nobody knows Garrett Morgan? Why is it because his name was George Washington? Probably. Probably. It's usually that simple. He a better marketer. George Washington Carver and nobody knows Garrett Morgan. Why? Is it because his name was George Washington Carver? Probably. It's usually that simple. Was he a better marketer, George Washington Carver? It's all about marketing. You know that, babe. Why does history know George Washington Carver

more than Garrett Morgan? Dude, it's the same. Why, though? I think that he did. Well, he was a famous botanist, so that was something that was big. Who was really a botanist back then? He was also famous later on in time. Yeah.

But wait, Benetia, let's be honest. Is botany like a fucking sexy, rememberable science? No, it's not. I mean, a kid's staring at plants all day. He found a lot of uses for the peanut. I mean, people, like, what the fuck do you do with a peanut? What do you think he would have used Giannis' head for? Yeah.

But no, as you remember, he actually was wrong. He thought peanut oil helped people with, what was it? Remember that? He said polio. He thought it cured polio, but it was really just the rubdown that liked it. It was the happy ending. But he found a lot of- We got a clip from the last episode.

I think he found a lot of uses for the peanut. And also he was famous with a lot of inventors, which they collaborated and made other things. Do you think since the coronavirus, this rampant happy endings have been down? I think so. When I heard the coronavirus, I thought it was started by the Wu-Tang Clan and Corona Queens. That's what I thought. Now, listen. Coronavirus, life's a beach.

But you actually just proved the point. Okay. You're saying he found some uses for peanuts. He found some uses for peanuts, but compared to inventing the traffic light, which is like the universal apparatus for order in the modern world on the streets for automobiles, which prevents like access. By the way, everyone fucking obeys traffic signals for some reason. I don't know why we do it. It's like this conditioning. Very few people will disobey those fucking things. Even before we had cameras that would catch you for speeding.

People just obey traffic laws. It creates a lot of order. That's a huge invention. And then the gas mask? No, you're right. He should be huge. I think it also has to do with George Washington Carver, who his friends were.

Because he was smart. It's not who you know. It's not what you know. It's who you know. So maybe it was that Morgan was a member of the N.A. double N.A.C.P., which was newly formed. And he was active in the Cleveland Association of Colored Men. They were alive at the same time, which is this is a really interesting point. But I think it just has to do about who was in the limelight at that time. Right. I think that's the point. I think that's what it comes down to.

I think it comes down to like, you know. Well, it's like the dream team. The first dream team in 1992 was really just who Jordan wanted because that wasn't the 12 best players. Isaiah Thomas deserved to be on the team. Clyde Drexler, which we always say. So it was just like marketing. They needed this guy and that guy and this guy and that guy. But if you look at the actual facts, it's like those weren't.

They had some of the best players. So maybe this is a situation like that, too. It's like Garrett Morgan is just, you know, what time were you born until? Black. If you're black, you need to know who Garrett Morgan is. Please. I mean, just for the pride of your people. I mean, the kid was a monster.

Absolutely. I mean, I mean, monster in a good way. I don't know if you're someone if you're black or you're someone who likes to wear hair relaxer. Yeah. Like pimps. Or if you're someone who likes to obey traffic signals. Exactly. Or if you're someone or if you're someone who likes to donate money to the NAACP, if you're someone who who likes to sew. I mean, if you're if you're literally any of those things then you should know who Garrett Morgan is. Yeah, and he's an inspiration because he's born in Kentucky. He wants to get out of there. He takes part in the Great Migration

with historians called the Great Migration, where all these post-Bellum blacks, post-Civil War blacks migrate up to the North for a better life to get a piece of the American dream. He goes up there. He gets a job as some sort of apprentice to some seamstress manufacturer.

Right. He fucking invents something in the sewing machine. He's invented so much shit that, like, it's overshadowed because he invented a gas mask and a fucking traffic light. Right. So, but he goes up there, and this is how screwed in the kid was. He only has a sixth grade education. He starts paying tutors

for him to teach him more. So the money he earns from being some sort of seamstress apprentice in the fucking sewing machines, whatever business that was, whatever money he makes, he takes that money and reinvests it back in himself. The kid was Andrew Schultz.

He was Andrew Schultz, and he did all this without a Patreon. He did it without a Patreon. But we have a Patreon. If you go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, if you want to support guys who are the next Garrett Morgans, then support us. Yeah, and we're starting a new Patreon podcast where me and Chris, once a month or whatever, we haven't figured it out, we spend the whole episode trying to prove that the other one's gay.

That's happening after this. Oh, we're doing that now. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, but yeah, but this was a great episode. Garrett Morgan like literally like you got to know who he is. I'm so happy that I know who he is. Yeah. And so he took all that money reinvested. I'm going to tell my daughter to I'm going to make sure my daughter knows who he is because I want my daughter to date guys like that.

Yeah, because he got rich. I mean, he got rich off just the hair product. Yeah. He created. I mean, look at the range of inventions, too. It's like that's the type of guy who you just go on. He was a bona fide, full throttle, stone cold genius. Right.

To be able to create, to invent hair relaxer and then from hair relaxer, go all the way to the other side of the spectrum. Number one. And invent a gas mask that was used in World War One. I mean, that was the gas mask that saved... How many lives do you think that gas mask... How many American lives?

And that's the thanks that black people get. White fucking American lives. How many times are black people going to fucking help out white people, do good things for white people and all they get is fucking slapped in the face i agree one of my favorite things of all time was patrice o'neill i think he was on a radio show and he was talking about like racism and patrice o'neill one

of the great comedians of all time um obviously black he goes like he goes wait a second he goes you you take my ancestors you rip them from their families, take them across on this brutal ship where most of them died, whatever. Throw them in change. Separate the families there. Keep them apart. Won't let them read. Brutalize them.

Whip them. Fucking force them to work 24 hours a day, whatever. You know, malnutrition, everything. Slaves. They're not even people. Make them property. Then you free us. But then fucking do a separate thing where we can't do this. He just goes on and on.

And he goes, and you hate me? Yeah, yeah. I mean, how brilliant is that? It's great. And you're angry at me? Yeah. So it's kind of like, I mean, more people should know about Garrett Morgan because Garrett Morgan is responsible for a lot of white people walking around because their grandparents are still here right because they put on a gas mask when those fucking dirty germans were trying to gas us yeah because you guys won't be stopped you're like the fucking napoleon are trying to take over the world

it's what we got to just put our american hand here and just keep you fucking nazis away i'm just a tall napoleon that's what you are okay so we're okay so listen so far so by the way great episode it was really was a great episode and and and i'm so listen. So, by the way, great episode. It was a great episode. It really was a great episode, and I'm so happy to be back in the studio. So, of course, we do have sponsors now, like real sponsors. And I'm happy that you're still plant-based, but you are back on toots. I'm plant-based, but I'm back on toots and back on guys.

So, finally, we got Theo's Feta Cheese. He came through. Thank you so much, Theo. Did we get the money in dollars or drachmas? We got the money in drachmas. Now, Theo's an all-natural, non-GMO, gluten-free, and RBST-free,

no hormones injected into the cow, type of feta cheese. It's made the traditional way. Milk, salt, cultures, and enzymes. No fillers, no additives, nothing else. Theo uses probiotics. Okay, good for the gut bacteria. Yanni's got to get a colonoscopy coming up, I remembered. So he needs to be eating this feta cheese.

It's also high in B vitamins and calcium, which are great for muscle and bone health getting jacked. Theo's is a cow milk feta. Theo is cow's. It's made of cow's milk feta and pasteurized. Very important that it's pasteurized. And we're going to do an episode on Louis Pasteur one at one day absolutely feta is naturally low in fat it's low in fat okay make sure because if you fed a cheese too much fat you're going to get a gallbladder attack theo was born and raised in brooklyn new york uh but the cheese is manufactured in wisconsin

that's a good thing shout out paulie gatsby selling tickle me almost um on any street corner in bentonhurst he's only theo is only available to the public for two years, and it's already kicking the national brand's ass. We sell Theo's in over 2,000-plus supermarkets in New York City and throughout the Northeast. You can purchase Theo's at your local Key Food, Gristetti's, Big Y, King Colin, Food Town, Met Foods, Dia Agostino's, and Associated, and of course, last but not least,

Seatown. So now I know my baby's mom. I can get it. Yeah, she can get it. And you also know that Chris is a working class kid from Ridgewood that he couldn't pronounce D'Agostino's because he never stepped foot in one. Yeah, the only ones that I saw, the only ones that

looked familiar to me were Seatown and Food Dynasty. And King Cullen. You were aspired to go to a King Cullen. Yeah, if I ever went to a King Cullen, my mom would flip. And you can also get it on Amazon.com. Their website, TheosFeta.com. That's TheosFeta.com. T-H-E-O-S-F-E-T-A.com.

And listen, it's the best cheese, Feta. It's the favorite. Me and Venetia were raised on feta cheese. Yeah. Now, of course, Lakeside Maple. Lakeside Maple. Lakeside Maple. Welcome to the party.

It's a trail mix, but it's not any trail mix, okay? As soon as I saw this box today, my asshole started to flicker. Yeah, it started to flicker on and off like a light switch. It started to pulsate like an octopus. Because I said, I want this granola. It's trail mix. Yeah. I want this. It's baked with pure maple syrup. Why can you not

just call it trail mix? It's the Canadian. You always call it fucking granola. I got to be honest with you. What I use Lakeside Maple for is I load it up in my BB gun and I shoot it at people on my property. Because here's the funny thing about our sponsor, Lakeside Maple. Yeah. Here's the funny thing.

I'm being completely 100% honest with you. I'm just being earnest. I just eat Lakeside Maple every day now. Yeah, you eat it. And the good thing about having this kid as our sponsor is I just get a free supply. He loads me up when I need it. Yeah, and he gave you a t-shirt, not me, piece of shit. Yeah.

He's kind of like the oil man in my new house because I've never had oil because I've never lived in a house. I'm from New York City. They just come and refill your oil tank when your oil tank is low and they have you on automatic. And this fucking FF, he's just on automatic and he tells me he calls me up he says do you need more lakeside maple and i say hit me with it hit me with it go to lakesidemaple.com and use the promo code wild capital capital w i l d to get 15 off your order okay so it's great ninth street auto collision as always oh by the way just a quick funny fact about um the guy who owns lakeside maple what's his name by the way mark john steve mark he um it's really funny he faints constantly that's hilarious i think it's pretty funny yeah yeah he just faints yeah so he told me when i when remember i was having all that

anxiety or whatever was going on my life was falling apart everyone was dying he he hit me up he told me about it he was like i he was like i was at the stand and he goes i was online waiting to go to a comedy show. Because he's a huge comedy fan. And he goes, I fainted. So I had to leave. He just fell down. Yeah.

So this kid needs the nets. Well, he's in his fucking mom's basement making Lameside Maple. I bet he goes down two, three times a week. And he just needs the nets. All right. 9th Street Auto Collision. Auto Repair Station. Lifetime warranty on all repairs.

Giving people good deals on parts and labor. 133 West Hills Road, Huntington Station. Call 631-351-5300. And then, of course, last but not least, he's going to be a guest on a future Patreon episode and real episode very soon. James Altucher. That's at James Altucher. J-A-M-E-S A-L-T-U-C-H-E-R.

Check out his podcast at Stand Up New York Comedy Club on the Upper West Side. He's got a good Jufro. That's right. Go to LakesideMaple.com. What's the promo code? Lakeside Maple. I said it wild. Which one is fucking Hyenas 15? That's another thing. Don't even worry about that.

Yeah, they got to up it if they want to keep it up. Can we read some Patreon names? We don't have time. We got plenty of time. Go. Okay, we got it. When did your jaw officially start popping out like that? We read some Patreon names and we don't have time. We got plenty of time. Go. Okay, we got it. Yeah. Okay, so we're going to do the Patreon now. When did your jaw officially start popping out like that? My jaw. What's the feeling you have when the jaw pops out?

What are you feeling? When the jaw pops out. It seems like a mixture of silliness and hostility. Yeah, because I think that's where I live. Yeah. I'm a silly, angry guy. Yeah, but you're only really angry after you spend a lot of time with someone who really cares about your mom. And it's noticeable.

The next day, you're swinging at everybody. Yeah, it's what it is. Everyone can get hit. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah, I got three shows tonight. It's stupid. Okay, but you're going to bang Paul Abdul.

Let's do the Patreon names. Okay. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Signed up. Made funny names. If you didn't want to make a funny name, we'll just say your name and we'll say you're here for the content. We got a lot of names. I mean, we're starting to get hundreds of Patreon members.

Shout out Thomas Santagato. Here's the thing. Also, we missed a couple of weeks because you went on a cruise, so we are backed up. I went on a cruise and yeah, it was I never wanted to be taken off on a medical boat more in my life. Hit me with them. Andrew Boy Toy for overworked and undersexed career sluts brown. Starting with a banger. Alec, eat my ass like one of Yaya's Cookies Robinson.

That's a contender. Lindsay Davis here for the content. Rob hates his job, but will put his mouth on Chrissy's knob. Nice rhyme. Will Zhang Xian Medina. Good one. Will. I like it.

Clyde Drexler. Bug caucasian put chrissy d in my yanni p i think i'm sorry put chrissy's d in my yanni p i nice i think that may be the best of all time that's a nice one yeah uh ricky yossi who seems like they're some they're not white so thanks yeah ricky yossi uh tony my wife died after she ate a bad cannoli, so I might get a two. I mean, a 10, 10 and a 10 on originality. Like it. Yeah, we don't know what's going on. Lee Coleman.

Kevin Venetia pegs me. Will I have enough Greek in me for yaya? I mean, that's a goodie. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Venetia pegs me. It's starting to leak over to you now, but it's yeah. Yeah. Ty Ty.

Chrissy once and never called back because he fucks like an FF. Okay. Like it. Clyde Drexler. Christine. David Kitchen. Corey Harvard banged out my smash bean. Thanks to the FF East Hemis.

Tanner. Thank you. Tanner with the Trump 2020 banner. Funny originality. I'm giving him a 10. Like it. Tully Hudson. Will G. Yanni P. Stamos, a.k.a. Uncle Jesse missing chromosome catasophilus. Donovan Davis, Devon, Black Kid with a 10-inch piece, Shoemaker. Megan Lewis, just in, I'm not just here for the content, Vela. Andy F., the dead FF. Johnny, I love my wife, Zapata.

Gamble, Dan Haybert, totally gay, baited by Chrissy Double. Why dump a looking for a humpa? I volunteer. He went for it. I like it. But the one before, I just got to say, Haybert by Chrissy. Double wide, dumpa looking for a humpa. I volunteer. He went for it. I like it. But the one before, I just got to say, Haper won't die. Yeah. Anthony Richardson, Nigel M. Pinuri, Carly, Taylor Trotter, Chrissy Cracks Toots, make no mistake, my piece is Deese, Zoji M.

Good ones. Good ones. Scott Elkington, Jacob Birdwell, Victor Character, we're to peace, Herrera. Good one. JJ Rush, Alex Stewart, Nick, suck your dick, but make no mistake, I'm not gay, Franco. Ty, Lauren Zerato, Andrew Lundgren, Jason Perry, John, 60% of the time, Chrissy D is gay all the time, Sabino, Jeff Zenesik, Jakey Thick Snakey for that lunch lady ass. Goody. Joey J, can't keep the ingrown toenails away.

Go Knicks. Originality gets a 10. My neighbors. Okay. This is all one word, so it's hard. My neighbors hear pewing whenever I watch Chrissy extra pounds and Yanni may be downs. He's a contender. He's a contender.

Yeah, he's a contender. Chris Scopo. Welcome, Chris. Scopo, yeah, welcome. Yeah. Talking about a lunch lady ass. Elizabeth Orgel. Love you, Chris.

Matthew Eager. Jesse Gaunt. Jordan K. Carly. Patrick Walpole. Love you, Chris. Matthew Eager. Jesse Gaunt. Jordan K. Carly. Patrick Walpole. Leslie Five-O. Tyson. Ed Schelling Jr.

Gabriel Lopez. Megan Jones. Carlos Batista. Tyler Tierney. Chris Peace hooks left, but make no mistake, I always vote right. Francisco. Can you mark that, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, I just want to take note of how many... This is like a Puerto Rican list. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, we got a lot of Espanoles. Okay, let's do 10 more. Chrissy D., clean peen, small addenda space, tween Yanni's eyeballs. Good one. Good one.

He's getting beat by better ones. Power Bottoms, Chrissy D., Yanni, producing fumes, mayonnaise, garlic. Okay. Power Bottoms, Chrissy D., Yanni, yanni producing fumes mayonnaise garlic okay power bottoms chrissy d yanni pp producing fumes mayonnaise gargling two cute tunes okay he went for it but he missed on that one let's be honest with it let's be honest with these kids joey on the runway it's what it is take my money i mean ted ted ted well mark him yeahality. Got to give him originality.

Sandra J. Swallowed Father Bill's dirty peenie on anti histamine. He's Lopez. I mean, I give him the list market. I mean, I think he's going to win. All right, let's do five more. I'm going to I'm going to stop. I'll stop right here.

Screwed in Stevie given smoothies on non-tutis lucas vintena vinnie burrow trash want to spray my warm glue on the rock johnson are you hearing how many puerto ricans we have these are tens i mean it's like all puerto rican this list max nothstein cody posio vasili room thomas the ff turkey wildwood sorry thomas the ff turkey with a slurpee dave non-toot from bama trump 2020 uh wes mac straight to the back listening to celine while i clean good one justy wusty hope it's not sorry one word justy wusty hope it's not gusty because my loose hips whistles like cucking fin the lap of jib i mean it's it's just all one word. People are actually clinically insane. I love these people that they have these days

when they go sign up for another podcast. Okay. Kyle, I watched Third Reich videos in the love sack while eating pizza. Yeah. Okay. Jacqueline. That just sounded more like a Saturday for you.

Yeah. Okay, here we go. Two more. Adam Black, a.k.a. Johnny Tuck, my sack, ride my lap, crack me open and glue me. Luke Shazer. And then last but not least, give him my last $5 to my favorite Suzuki Twink and his Gestapo gal pal. I think the last one just stuck it and took it.

Give him my last $5 to my favorite Suzuki Twink and his Gestapo gal pal. Suzuki, out of all these nicknames we have for you, Suzuki Twink, I never even thought about. Yeah, and Gestapo gal pal. Did they win? Let me just read them back. No, no, that guy just snuck in at the end and took it. You like him better than him?

And there was some strong ones on there, like the cannoli kid. Yeah, I was going to say, you like him better than my neighbors here my neighbors here pewing whenever I watch Chrissy Extra Pounds and Yanni Maybe Downs. Oh, that's a goodie, too. But I think that calling me a Tzatziki twink and you Gestapo gal pal

and that he gave his last five bucks. The cannoli one was funny. What's the cannoli one again? The cannoli one was funny. What's the cannoli one again? The cannoli one was... Hold on. Oh, these were front and backs. Yeah. Oh, man. I fucked up. I'll fix it. Okay. Fuck, I didn't even

mark the cannoli one. I'm going to have to go back and listen to it. Don't worry about it. It was so early in the list. All right. But you're saying that you want the winner to be. I'm saying it's got to be the last one. For this group, giving my last $5 to my favorite, Suzuki Twinkin and Gestapo Gal Pal.

You're the winner. Congratulations. Yeah, you won. You won. All right. It'll be great. Check. Go to GiannisPapasComedy.com.

You got dates. Do you have any dates in March? No. You got a new fat-faced fucking agent. Now I got a new agent, and he better fucking produce. He better produce Okay so we talked about where our live dates are gonna be Go to historyianias.com

When's this coming out? March 19th and April 29th You can come check me February 28th 29th At Cleveland Hilarities Comedy Club in Cleveland And then I got a second show was added At the Victoria Theater in Newark New Jersey April, April 18th, April 24th, 25th, Laugh Boston, Philadelphia, May 7th to the 9th. And Indianapolis also April 30th to May 2nd.

So come get those tickets. Christy comedy dot com. Huh? I think it was. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Leave us. Leave us a review on iTunes what do you got

just leave us a review we get some funny reviews so if you leave your review on iTunes for us give us five stars of course this review was kind of wild is this the one I posted it said stumbled upon Chris D on YouTube and shared

his videos with a chick. I'm trying to get with. Right. She loved them, shared hyenas with her, and she loved it, too. Yes. Asked her to come with me to the next live hyena show. And she told me she met a guy she likes on Bumble, and she didn't want to cheat on him so early in the relationship. Right.

Wait till I post a pic of me drinking a smoothie on instagram cuz nice so that it didn't work out for that kid sorry well it's not going to work out for everybody but you can always if you can always file find me on grinder and i will even though i've been slowing down responding to people with instagram messages because a couple of uh women's crazy husbands have reached out to me and my baby's mama and i don't even know who these women are so i've had to unfortunately stop responding to fans because there are people who are crazy out there. But I will still double tap and I will still read your message. But unfortunately, I can't respond to anyone anymore because some of you guys are just pure idiots.

Yeah. And come see me at Point Pleasant, New Jersey this weekend when you're listening to this Friday and Saturday at Uncle Vinny's Jersey Shore. Point Pleasant, New Jersey. And thank you, everybody, who came out this weekend at Gotham, because this is when you're hearing this after the weekend. And that's it. And that's it. We'll speak to you next time. Let's do it.

Look at Mike. I love cock. Thank you. Bye.