History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 127 - Bras Are Wild!

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

The Cuzzies celebrate the start to women's month with the garment that helps support our matriarchy, the modern bra! From it's history to its enlightened modern inventor Caresse Crosby, we uncover as much as Yanni and Chrissy's attention spans allow!   Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

what's up cuzzy wuzzies you fans men trans young old black white straight gay other To all our fans, men, trans, young, old, black, white, straight, gay, other babies. But guess what? Yami month is over and it's ushering in a new month. And that month is Women's Month! F-L-O-K-Y-A! Y-A! So we are here to celebrate women. Hear us roar.

Hear us roar. Happy Women's Month, everybody. You listen to the History Hyenas. I'm Yanni P. And that is Chrissy Drip Drops. And Chrissy Drip Drops. And in celebration of Women's Month, my chlamydia is back. It's back.

Given to you courtesy of a woman. Well, she said she was born a woman. Here's the thing. But it's a man. Let's just, we're here to talk about. Oh, stop. We're here to celebrate women. We're here to do, we've got four weeks coming straight of women's issues.

Yeah. We're going to talk women's issues. Yeah. This is so fucking Gloria Steinem and Amy Schumer approved. Yeah. This is a great, it's Ruth Bader Ginsburg week here. And it's just going to be great. Listen, guy, we're going to talk about women.

Obviously, you guys know I wish I was born a woman And by women We mean trans women Yeah Because they are women as well So we're going to do Four episodes on trans women Because hyenas

As we've said Are the original chicks with dicks So we thought We're going to honor them A lot during women's month Obviously there's just You know quickly I just want to say

March 19th Gramercy Theater First show sold out Second show almost sold out Wait a second Gramercy Theater first show sold out second show almost sold out wait a second we sold out the first show we added another one we added another one

we must be fucking good at what we do good at what we do April 29th the Wall Street Theater in Norwalk, Connecticut tickets on sale there so go get them

historyahinas.com christycomedy.com yannaspapascomedy.com got a lot of dates coming up so check our websites and it's just cute we're in all different types of cities.

I just added Raleigh, North Carolina in April, and then we got Boston and Cleveland and just a whole bunch of cities. And it's going to be fun. Laugh button has got a new sign up in our studio, and it's not going to stop us from walking the fuck out of here. Happy Women's Month. And much like we hope you just enjoyed our last episode for Yeah Me Month, which was Eminem, we're going to kick off the first episode of Women's Month with some broad from Westchester who created a bra.

Created a bra. And then we're going to end it with RuPaul. I hope you enjoyed the last guest of Namin Manseen Smith who put our white asses in our place. He was just not here to have a good time. He was here to just talk race issues. You just wonder how some people wind up in comedy. Chrissy Clarice Starling

is just part of the family now. She and that is her pronoun, Chrissy Clarice is your female personality that swings in the dark. You got your night goggles on and you got your pistol out and you're just shooting in the dark

and occasionally people get shot by Chrissy Clarice. It's what it is. No, it was a great episode. Obviously, I'm just kidding. We had a really, we had a good time here. Everybody does martial arts now, too. Everybody does stand-up and everybody does martial arts. That's one thing I've learned about our peers and just going through this is everyone's a comedian now and everyone is a mixed martial artist.

It's what it is. We got a lot of funny people that know how to kill each other. I thought it was a really great episode. You guys tell us. How did you enjoy Seton Smith? I thought it was a great episode. I thought it was a great way episode. You guys tell us, how did you enjoy Seton Smith? I thought it was a great episode. I thought it was a great way to end Yamun. First of all,

because he was black and we needed that. Yeah. Especially coming on the heels of Mike Cannon. Yeah. Yeah, we just were trying to get black guests in here

and we couldn't get them in here. It ain't easy. A lot of it was because we booked Yamunika and then she canceled on us. Right? Or something like that.

She's coming. She's coming. And Roy Wood could have done it but Roy Wood is so busy with the Daly show. Yeah, and Yamanika was busy burying cats, right? Forbes. Burying cats, yeah. One cat she has is named Forbes, and the other one's named what?

Something Bank, I think. Something Bank, yeah. And then Che couldn't do it. Che can't. Yeah, Che will never do it, I don't think. But now it's Women's Month. Now it's Women's Month. And there's plenty of female comedians we can get in here.

And I think we're going to lead off with Matteo Lane. Yeah, we're going to start with him. We're just going to do four trans women. Just kidding. We're going to do Marisa. We're going to do one episode with Marisa. Let's just do all four. Since trans women are women, we're only going to do trans women when we talk about women.

Why don't we do Marisa? Marisa is definitely going to be a guest on Women's Month. Why don't we do, there's a transgender comedian, Jane. Jane McBride. Jane McBride. Why don't we ask Jane? I love Jane McBride. She's great.

She opened for me in Sarasota. Did she get banged out? She could get banged out. Did you bang her out? I didn't bang her out. Did you at least pop her feet in your mouth? No. Yeah.

No. I'm a married kid. Yeah, I know, but I don't know if it's cheating. But here's the thing about Women's Month. Listen, ladies, let's just be honest, okay? You guys like a man. Yeah. A woman likes a man.

They like men. Let's stop pretending like you guys were so oppressed because let's be honest. Okay. Part of the reason why you guys didn't do all the things that you didn't do in history or whatnot is because part of it is because you didn't want to do them. Right. Part of it is because society was set up that way because somebody had to be raising kids because we didn't have Jamaican nannies yet.

Yeah. So let's just cool it. Yeah. Can we just fucking cool it a little bit? Yeah. Because as soon as you were like, yeah, we weren't able to vote until the 20th century. you know the 20th century you didn't want to you didn't because yeah once you asked how long did it take three years and then boom i mean don't ever try to put your level of oppression on the same fucking platitude i don't even know if that's the right way to put it as black people or anyone

else because all women did was like hey we want to we want to vote and guys were like okay sweetheart sweetie whatever babe like yeah you know and then you had like you did like one women's suffrage All women did was like, hey, we want to vote. And guys were like, okay, sweetheart, sweetie, whatever, babe. Yeah. And then you did one women's suffrage march, and then you were voting. You asked to vote, and you were voting within three years. Susan B. Anthony will get cracked open. She looks like a guy. That's why she'll get cracked open.

Yeah. When women's suffrage happened, Venetia, how long before women were asking to vote? By the way, when Venetia was talking, before it made my monkey move. Your monkey moved a bit? My monkey moved, but it could be from the chlamydia. How long did it take? How long did it take from women asking to get the right to vote to when they actually got it?

How long? Can you look it up? Google it. I'm curious. Google it, but it did not just take, you know. I think it up? Google it. I'm curious. I can Google it, but it did not just take, you know... I think it was like a month. No, no, no.

It took time. It took time. Listen, there's the... Listen, broads. Listen, dames. Listen, babes. Happy fucking Women's Month, you broads. What's babe in Greek?

Can I tell you? Koukla. Moro. Moro? Yeah, moro. Moro, moro. Moromo. Moromo.

Koukla. Moromo. My babe. My babe, moromo moromo kukla moromo my babe my babe moromo yeah listen to my moromos look the Greeks like many things

started right and women belong but women belong in the house you know just raising kids and Greek agreed

and then when they get to a certain age they need to put on a black dress not shower and just make cookies and send them into the podcast. Because Yanni Yaya hair is on the money. Yeah.

Yanni Yaya hair. I was Yanni Yaya hair last week, but now I'm back to Yanni Coyote. You're cutie, Yanni. You're Yanni Maromo. So how much is it? Maromo. You're Yanni Maromo. Because you're my Maromo.

You're my Cucla Moo. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah, Cucla. It's a Cucla Moo. Cucla Moo, kukla. It's his kukla, mo. Kukla, mo. Kukla. He says the kukla. Let's go to Kestay Pizza because we're not doing his class.

Let's go there tonight after this. Yeah. I'm going to have a meeting. I'm going to get drunk. You want to go to Kestay after this? No, I don't care. I'd go to Kestay. It's delicious.

I think I have a gluten habit. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about it after. So women were trying to vote from the 1850s. So it wasn't just, you know, 10 years or anything like that. And then they got the right to vote in America in the 1920s. But when did they really start asking? When did like...

In the 1850s. Like when did Billie Jean King, like, really start asking? Billie Jean King? Yeah. The tennis player? I mean, I don't care about women's history. Isn't that a guy? No, it was a woman.

Susan B. King was asking. It's Women's Month. Here's the deal. Susan B. King was abroad. She wanted to vote. And she was like, hey, can we take off our bras? And then they did it. And then, boom, you guys are citizens.

It's what it is. We did Women's Month. Yeah. That's what happened. And then Serena Williams is being discriminated against. She is. Equal pay, and let's give these soccer players a couple more dollars. It's what it is. I'm all for it, babe.

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you guys want, you got it. I'm not here for this. You're not. Venetia, I support all women. I'm just kidding. I'm joking.

I respect women. I am actually known as Giannis, ally to the female comedian. You are. That's what they used to call me. Ally to the female comedian. You're Yanni Y. Chromosomes. I'm Yanni Y. Chromosomes. I'm Yanni, ally to the female comic. I know. I always gave female comedians an

opportunity to not be as funny as their male counterparts on my stage. Wow. I'm just joking. It's a joke. It's what it is. It's just, you know, are we going to use the weight? Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Vanity is on duty on the buttons now doing her ex-lover's job. Yeah. Where's he now? Do you think he listens or no?

I know Jan the Squeak probably still listens. Jan the Squeak definitely listens. Can we get him up here and fucking throw him on a shelf? I'd like to, yeah. Can we put him on a shelf with Trash Monkey the Hyena? Let's just put Jan the Squeak behind you.

Have some cake, glass casing. You just sit there, puppet. If we did a movie, can Jan the Squeak play Trash Monkey the Hyena? Yeah, 100%. He might be on the shelf behind that Comedy Cellar sign. When we do a movie, Jan the Squeak's going to play my daughter. Yeah. I miss Jan the fucking Squeak.

Jan? Yeah. Say it again? Behind the Comedy Cellar sign. I think he's behind there. Well again? Behind the Comedy Cellar sign. I think he's behind there. Well, take down the Comedy Cellar sign. There he is! No, that's the millennial puppet that was sent to us by a fan.

Yeah, but he does look like Jan the Squeak. He does look a little like Jan the Squeak. Venetia, you're not into hipsters at all. I mean, this fucking podcast studio has got signs. They make it construct. I mean, what is this? The sixth grade fucking sign? Listen, Comedy Cellar. Get out of here. We're going to your mom's house.

There's a space open. Comedy Cellar, listen, you're a great comedy club or whatever, but just take the sign down. Nobody's listening to the fucking podcast. That's what it is. Venetia, you're not into hipsters at all. What do you mean? You're just into black guys. So am I, though. Yeah.

If I gotta be honest with you, so am I. Yeah. I mean, do we still have a lot of black fans listening? 100%. We have fans of all over. You think we got a lot of flagrant, too, though? You think we got a lot of flagrant, too? Yes.

Yeah, I have. Have you been getting hit up by our black fans? We have also in Seattle. A couple of my friends do listen. And they're maveries. Yeah. Hello. How do you refer to blacks in Greek if you don't say Mavri or Mavros?

I don't. No, but how would a Greek refer to a black without saying Mavri or Mavros? They would say that. They would say that. So it's like it's not a bad word. It is. It is. So it's a racial term?

We can't say it? It's a racial term. We need to cackle whatever just happened. No, we don't. Here, I'll explain to you. This is how wild Greeks are. It just means black. But because Greeks are so racist, they turn the word into a slur.

I like the word Jew. Same way American, like when you hear Jew, it's like because there's no other way in Greek to refer to a black person than Mavros or Mavri. What's the color black? Like if I said the wall is Mavro, I say the wall is Mavri? Yeah, Mavro. Yeah, Mavro. Yeah. It depends on the conjugation of the word. But no, we do. There are other

words, I mean, but let's, you know. No, but I'm curious. How would a Greek respectfully refer to a black person? I'm just curious. Real quick. No, that's what she just said. She said it. So there's no other way to do it except Mavro. Yeah. What? Because she's Greek. We're not allowed to say it, though. Veneti said we're not allowed to say it. So there's no other way to do it except... What? Because she's Greek.

We're not allowed to say it, though. Vanity is saying we're not allowed to say it. But there's no other way to fucking say it. That's why I'm so confused. But we're not going to say it, so it doesn't matter. Because it's Women's Month. So what do Greeks do? They just nod like that when they're trying to be respectful?

They go like that to refer to that person? They don't have a fucking word for it? Greeks need to get your shit together. Vanity has got really nice teeth. When are we going to do what... Fucking Dr. Harvey Oswald needs to take a picture of Vanity's teeth and say, this is what we'll get you to look your shit together. Venetia's got really nice teeth. When are we going to do what Dr. Harvey Oswald needs to take a picture of Venetia's teeth and say, this is what we'll get you to look like. Yeah, Harvey Spencer Jr.

Sorry. The black dentist from South Carolina, but that South Carolina is only 10 minutes away from North Carolina. Happy Women's Month. Happy Women's Month. What are you going to do to celebrate Women's Month? Are you going to fuck a lot of women? Yeah.

No, I think to celebrate Women's Month, I'm going to stay away from them, and I'm just going to go with guys. Yeah. No, with Women's Month, I think how I'm going to celebrate. Well, my daughter, who's got a stomach virus, shout out, and she threw up in my mouth yesterday, so it's just yummy, yummy in my tummy. Your daughter's a strong Puerto Rican woman. She's a strong Puerto Rican woman.

She has a stomach virus. She beat it. And yeah, I think to celebrate Women's Month, maybe I'll just get back my baby's mama. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah. That's a good way to celebrate Women's Month. Maybe I'll just, I don't know what should I do. You want to know why that's a good way to celebrate Women's Month?

Yeah. Because it's an irrational decision. Yeah. And that's what women are. That's what you do to celebrate Women's Month. Fucking bag of hormones. Why, Jong-Jin? It's also Ash Wednesday today, which so hopefully you guys got your ashes. month. Fucking bag of hormones. Wei Zhongzhen. It's also Ash Wednesday today.

Yeah. So hopefully you guys got your ashes. Yeah. I didn't today. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a, yeah. Yeah.

It's Ash Wednesday. You know what's great? You can make fun, a lot of women jokes and not be scared because I can beat up all the women. It's what it is. So that's what makes it funny. Including you, Holly Holm. No, Holly Holm.

Wei Zhongzhen. A UFC fighter or boxer, woman, I mean, they'd literally break every bone in our body. Pretty much any female athlete would beat the shit out of me. You know? Yes. I like a strong woman. Me too. I like a woman.

I like a woman with a little hair on her dick. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We've got off the rails in a way we've never got off the rails before. Let's talk about bras. This broad, Mary Phelps Jacobs. She was wild that she made bras, and she's got a nice fucking face,

and she'll get softly kissed on the tip of her nose. You'll give her an Eskimo kiss? I'll give her an Eskimo kiss. I'm literally, lately, I've been exclusively just about the Eskimo kisses. You have been, huh? I like to just go up to a girl and Eskimo kiss her. Yeah, yeah, but there's nothing wrong with that. I like a consensual Eskimo kissy.

Yeah. In my igloo. Yeah. Eskimo's a racial slur, though. I don't think we're allowed to say the word Eskimo. Is it a racial slur now? That's what they said. Didn't we say that in the last episode?

You're supposed to say Inuit. Inuit, yeah. Who said that? What was on the last episode? I don't know who said that, but that's what you're supposed to say. Okay. Sorry, Mike. Fucking Eskimo.

I just like their pies. Yeah, supposed to say. Yeah. Sorry, Mike. Fucking Eskimo. I just like their pies. Yeah. Samesies. Yeah. I can't wait till we get to a future society where there's only three words. Every word has been rendered offensive to somebody, and so you can only communicate by using three words and referring to them within different contexts with facial expressions.

So you just have to be able to... Everyone will have to FaceTime, so they'll see what you mean by saying those three words. Right. And you'll have to just understand. Yeah. Maybe they're right. Maybe that's more of a progressive, evolved human. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe they're trying to make us better. Who, women? Maybe they really are trying to make us better. Oh, the left? Yeah, or whatever, the woke folk Are there any woke Republicans? Or all the woke Democrats? No, actually this big woke lesbian

Just came out that she moved to the right And she made like a video of it If you googled it, it's wild She just came out and she says I can't do this anymore And her video was like really. You could probably hear a lot of people going like, you know what? Me too.

This chick is saying everything I'm thinking. Because the woke people are moving so many people from the left to the right. It's like the left is like a crowded van and someone shit their pants. And that's the woke people. The woke people are a person who shit their pants on a bus. The bus pulls over and like all the left are just getting off the bus. Right. They're just getting off the bus because someone shit their pants and it

smells. That's what it is. That's what you are. Woke people. You're a baby that shit their pants on a bus and all your family and friends want to get away from you. Right. And the only person who's going to change your diapers is Chrissy Day and he's going

to get an infection from it. It's just what it is. Yeah. I buy my nails and I have open wounds on my cuticles. Exactly. It's what it is. Now listen, like any other great invention, the bra was invented right here in New York City.

Name me one thing that hasn't been invented in New York City. Yeah, everything. Literally, name me an object. I'll tell you where it was invented. Polio string cheese. New York City. Sandals. New York City. Sunglasses in New York City. Yeah, everything. Literally, name me an object. I'll tell you where it was invented. Apollyon string cheese. New York City. Sandals. New York City.

Sunglasses. New York City. A thong. New York City. How about a pair? A pair? Yeah. New York City, but the gay part.

How about a bracelet? New York City. Gay sex. My living room. That's right. Which is in New York City. Which is my living room is in New York City. Gay sex. My living room. That's right. Which is in New York City. Which my living room is in New York City. So anyway, this chick was a big deal because she invented the modern bra.

Right. All right? And her name was Mary. Mary Phelps Jacob. And what's interesting is she was born in Westchester. She was born in Westchester. Just like Marisa. But then because she invented the bra and because that's a thing that makes a girl for Rome or not for Rome, she actually died in Rome, Italy.

So she's for Rome. Because she died in Rome and she invented the bra. Yeah. She's for Rome and her body is interned in Rome because she invented the bra. And shout out them titties. She was a pretty smart chick. And shout out them titties. She was a pretty smart chick.

Obviously, she was an affluent woman growing up in Westchester. Especially back then, Westchester was top notch. Top notch. It still is top notch. Still is top notch. But I was like, back then, it wasn't as developed as it is now. Do you think she had bombs? Mary Phelps Jacobs? Did anyone see her chesticles?

She definitely had natties. She had natties. Yeah, everybody had natties. That's the interesting thing about that time period is everybody had natties. Yeah. You couldn't get fake jugs. It's Women's Month, and all we've been is disrespectful to women. I know, but we should get Jeff Dye back on here for that.

Yeah! He's respectful of women. No. We all are. I love women. I've created one. Yeah. We all love women.

Everyone loves women So the thing that's interesting about Mary Is that she Had a little lamb And she was a socialite And back then everybody was wearing corsets And you know they're kind of clunky And they had

So she was going out and she didn't want The rods from her corset To poke out of her cute new dress. And so she asked her maiden to come with handkerchiefs and some ribbons. Yeah. And she just, bam. So before that, like in the 1700s, 1800s, you just only went out in a corset. If you were going to go out and go run to the store, you either had to be in a corset or you were going full flapjack pancake titties you remember back in

the day where the only titty you could get a glimpse of was the national geographic titty remember you used to call it national geographic titty yeah because you'd open a national geographic and it would just be an african tribeswoman with her titty out because yeah they don't they don't have browser shirts yeah so then you'd see that titty. That titty, for some reason, it didn't seem as hot because they weren't, like, showing the titty in a sexy way. They would just kind of hang. When you just hang out with your titties out, I don't think it's sexual.

Like, if a woman just walked in here and, like, was scratching her crotch with her titties out and just was up, it's not hot. It's more animalistic. But let me ask you this. Do you think the invention of the bra, like, people that don't have, like you mentioned, those African tribes, do you think their Tedaronis sag lower because they've never had a bra? I wonder if there's any implication of like a girl who's got nice perky natties because she wears a bra all the time. Like does it sculpt them?

I don't think the bra holds the titties up, no. I don't think. No, the bra holds natties up. It sculpts the titties? But I'm saying does it sculpt it? Oh, does it? Because I'm asking if I could fix my anteater tit. Because if I just put a bra on the left side, if it would help sculpt it up.

You were helping it for a second when you became a PBP, a plant-based pussy. Yeah. Because then you were tightening up again. But then you just swelled up again because you just started hitting a lot of sweets. I looked swelled again? You looked sweet. You looked like a normal size. You were starting to look like a little meth-y.

Like you were starting to get that skinny, vegetarian look. Yeah, I don't know what. What did you do? Last night you ate a lot of sweets? Yeah, but that wouldn't swell me up in a day. Well, you look normal sized again. That's probably the sweatshirt. Yeah, and what I'm saying is you get

the tit when you eat normal. But when the vegetarian in you is probably pushing the tit back. Right. You know? It's just the anteater comes out to play when you have sweets. When you have sweets, the anteater likes to come out. Yeah. I've been up for like, yeah, I think

when I get really tired too, I just start to swell. I had too much sodium. And I had bagels. I had bagels the last two days. Yeah, the bagel. Let me ask you, so the titty will actually get formed by the bra? So what is a bra? It's, you know, it's for.

If anyone doesn't know what a bra is, you just got out of a coma and you went into that coma when you were two. Yeah. Everyone knows what a fucking bra is. You take them off. Can you take them off with one hand or not? I can take them off with one hand because I'm Yanni, the fucking king of one-handed fucking bra moves.

I can take off bras with one hand now. Lefty. Did you ever... My thumbs are made for bra hooks. Did you ever... They are. Just cut off. Did you ever have that when you'd struggle,

where you were hooking up with a girl and you struggled to get it off? I can usually just bang it out. You can usually bang it out? Especially the one – and there used to be – it used to be the front hook bra used to be a big thing. Not as much. You can't really get to the front hook.

The front hook's tough. The front hook's tough. But taking – unsnapping the bra is like – that's like a part of hooking up when you're younger. Yeah. It's how quickly you can do it. Yeah, and just like you end up like – you end up going for it and the girl lets you do it

or she like moves your hand away. It's hot. Did you guys ever practice like to take it off? No. Like by yourselves or always with a girlfriend? No. I always did it in the moment. I learned on stage.

I learned doing it. I used to think when I first started having sex when I was like whatever 17 or 18, I used to think that the like the only way into the vagina was through the back. So I didn't even thought about going on the front i would just start to reach around for her butt always and the girl would always be like why are you just reaching for my butt i'm like that's where vagina is so i would just always just reach for the back door did you guys not you so you never had like a sexist no because i went to catholic school yeah so they wouldn't do it so weird you did

right we didn't no I don't think we. I mean, if we did, it was later. I learned everything about women through porn. And that's it. Mike, did you have sex ed class? Yeah, I knew what vaginas were. Mike was fucking hottie boombottie in high school. Yeah. I didn't get gross until I got married.

Yeah. Mike was really into women until he discovered food. And then that became his number one. Did was really into women until he discovered food. Yeah. And then that became his number one. It did. That's not a lie at all. And women became distant too. Well, also when I was growing up, we were kind of poor,

so I never really ate out at restaurants or stuff like that. Right. Even like fast food is really special to me. Right. Right. Yeah, poor people like fast food because it's cheap. Oh, it's cheap. Yeah.

Yeah. And also, look, let's be honest, you are from San Antonio. Yeah, now what I like, I overeat on things I've never tried before. Well, when you overeat, it's called overeating here, but when you go to San Antonio, it's just called eating. It's called lunch. Yeah, it's just called lunch. It's called dieting. You didn't even know you were

big until you came here. I knew, but we just didn't care. Yeah, San Antonio are the fattest people I've ever seen in our lives. They're huge. I'm not that fat there. No, you look good. Yeah, San Antonio are the fattest people I've ever seen in our lives. Yeah. They're huge. I'm not that fat there. No, you look good. Mike looks like you look like... You're a San Antonio 7. You look like a personal trainer.

Yeah. Mike looks like he's there to get the city in shape when he shows up. Like, wow, that guy's hot. So, yeah. So the thing is, yeah, this thing, this whole episode is making me go peeling.

Well, here's the thing. The ancient Greeks, cuz, the ancient Greeks were the first ones, as per you, to create a bra. Right, Venetia? Tell them about the Minoans. So the Minoans are from Crete in Greece. Yes, Yanni's

from there. And they have actually art that depicts them, women working out or playing a sport and what they would do is, you know, they would support their chest with a band, like a tube top looking thing. Yeah, it looks like a sports bra.

So then why did it go out of style then? If that was like the invention, why did it, I wonder why people stopped with the bras if the Greeks made them so long ago. I wonder why it stopped. Because women really weren't becoming, like the Greeks were so advanced. Dude, when you look back at the ancient Greeks,

it wasn't really an empire. It was civilizations. It was a time period. They really were advanced in everything because they had female athletes being athletes. And then you don't really see that again in too many places. So there was no need for the bra

because women weren't expected to be athletes. You know what I mean? Right. So it was like that's maybe – then the corset came along. There's no way any woman was comfortable wearing the corset, which came along later obviously in France and then Victorian England. Everyone has famous images of Queen Victoria or Elizabeth. Should guys be wearing bras or just for women?

Just for women. Well, there's certain guys that should be wearing bras. No, but what's the health benefit of it? It holds the tase in place so when you run, they don't hurt. It supports. Yeah, because it hurts. So it hurts your back if you don't. But then how did women deal with it for so long without having it?

They didn't really move around that much. Yeah, they weren't as active. I mean, usually everybody, women were pretty domestic and always at home. But really, it also depends on like where in the world. But the corset is what was around until like the 1900s. So why don't I need a bra then for my ball bag? I was going to ask that.

Like, don't you guys wear certain things when you guys are working out? I mean, I wear compression shorts sometimes for my newt sack when I'm exercising. No, but I'm being serious. Do you guys have something that you guys are working out? I mean, I wear compression shorts sometimes for my newt sack when I'm exercising. No, but I'm being serious. Yeah. Do you guys have something that you guys are working out? Yeah, I think it's better to have support when you're playing sports, but you can totally play sports without a tight... Without that. Yeah.

The only thing you have to worry about is testicular torsion, where one nut can switch with any other one's place. But they don't really bounce around like tatas. But when you guys are about to go work out it's like okay i'm not gonna wear this i'm gonna wear this because i'm gonna be very active running around sometimes i'll wear well well i always wear lululemons because i'm i'm chrissy athleisure but i do wear compression shorts when i know i'm gonna do some type of cardiovascular activity i won't wear like but it's kind of i could also wear those out with jeans too

yeah i just wear boxer briefs no matter what i'm doing no matter what so it gives me enough support I don't wear like – but it's kind of – I could also wear those out with jeans too. Okay. I just wear boxer briefs no matter what I'm doing. No matter what. So it gives me enough support. Right. And my limp penis, it kind of looks like I have three balls anyway. Right. You're very little when you're limp, right? I'm a grower.

What do they call it? A grower, not a shower? I'm a grower. I said I'm seven, seven regular, eight with warts. You know, and I said I was six with Air Max on. Yeah. My panini, like when you look at ancient Greek. Your panini.

Yeah, my panini, when you look at ancient Greek statues. Yeah. I'm kind of like an ancient Greek statue. They all got baby paninis. Yeah, and then when it get hard, I also got the slant up. I also go up, I slant up. You slant up. Looks like a plane that's just taken off. Yeah. Yeah, where do you slant? Left or right? to slant up. I also go up. I slant up. You slant up. Looks like a plane that's just taken off.

Yeah. Yeah. Where do you slant? Left or right? For women, let's just talk about dicks. I slant to the left. I slant. But your politics go to the right.

My politics go to the right, yeah, and I'm all head. My penis is mostly head. Yeah. I got a big fucking head on my shoulders, and I got a big head on my stem. How about you, Venetia? What's your peeing like? Venetia, if you could change, would you like to have a penis? When I was a kid, I wanted one so badly.

Because I had brothers. So when they go, because I'm very close to my brothers, and they go pee, I was just like, so that's it? I was so jealous when we were traveling. Do you think your brother's ever tried your bras on? No. Because if Giannis was your brother's ever tried your bras on? No. Because if Giannis was your brother, he would have tried them on. That's just what it is.

Actually, my brother's never asked me those questions. They're listening right now and being like, yes, yes. They're not listening to this episode. Your brothers, I met your brothers at Gotham for Yanni's sold-out shows, and they're nice, nice kids. They're sweethearts. They really are nice kids. We talked about them last episode, and I I asked you which one would you bang out.

And I said... You said the quiet one. The friendlier one. You said the quiet one. Yeah, because he could keep a secret. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because she's a good chick. I like this chick, Mary Phelps Jacob. Vanitya? Oh, Mary. Yeah, of course I like Vanitya too, but she invented the bra. She invented the modern bra. She's a New York City chick

and that's just what it is but she invented the bra. She invented the modern bra. She's a New York City chick, and that's just what it is. She invented the bra. But she really, when we were talking to Venetia about it, she really didn't get, she doesn't get like the, she doesn't get the credit for it though because she really didn't, right? She did get the credit for it, but if you think about the

evolution of the bra, like we went from corsets and then like in France they started to kind of try to break away from that because they're just so tight and like it's it's difficult to put on corsets like it's kind of a two it's a two-person job more or less so then they tried to split it in the 1889 and this french designer um made it but then you know came 1910s where Mary's going to a party and she's like, I can't do this anymore. So it wasn't really as supporting as the corset

was. She wanted to kind of spread, support, and they were comfortable and they were lightweight as a corset's heavy and it's like, have you guys ever worn something like that? Not recently. Nothing like a corset before? I've never put on, I don't think I've never put on...

I don't think I've ever put on... I'd like to, but I never have. I put on a back brace when I had a bad back in high school from playing basketball. I used to stiff up. I would do that thing. So that's like a corset, more or less. And you're always...

What's cool about this is that she made this for her family and friends. And then she was like, yo, I got to patent this. And then she went to and they were like, she patented it as the backless bra. And so she started a fashion forum brassiere company from that. Very nice. Isn't it like the free the nipple now?

Is it that women are starting to go against bras? You see a lot of women just walking around with National Geographic. Yeah. Nat Geo. You see a lot of Nat Geo, Titty Geographic. Yeah. Nat Geo. You see a lot of Nat Geo, Titty. Yeah. Yeah. I think the whole point.

In New York. I think the whole point of that is that sometimes people feel uncomfortable when women don't wear bras. I wouldn't. It's just, it's not. Do you notice when a girl's not wearing a bra? Not really. Sometimes I do.

Yeah. Sometimes I do. But you know. I don't care at all about it. If you wear a bra, it's just Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do. I don't care at all about it. If you wear a bra, it's just whatever makes you feel comfortable. Yeah, I mean, whatever you guys want to do. But, you know, this woman was kind of a smart woman because she also was a writer and she founded the Black Sun Press.

With her husband. Yeah, with her husband. She was married three times to this broad. That's what it is. She got banged out. All powerful and independent women always get married more than once because they're a little more like guys. That's what makes them genius. That's what makes them genius. Yeah. No. She got banged out. All powerful and independent women always get married more than once because they're a little more like guys. Yeah. That's what makes them genius. That's what makes them genius.

Yeah. No. They got male brains. What's interesting, because the question that I kept having- Where's the Wei Zhongjian button? How did the corset, how did you go from corsets to bras? Wei Zhongjian. We found the answer.

Vanity found the answer. It was World War I. It's always war. Mass production always, because then they needed the rods and the corsets, and they made two battleships That dirty Germans tried to sink And they couldn't Two battleships that had 28,000 tons of metal

From the corsets And then because women were entering the workforce And they couldn't be so stiff They had to make uniforms and weapons And do all that stuff They had to get them out of the corsets and into the brassieres Yeah She actually patented this bra.

She sold it to Warner Brothers. Right. You know? The fucking movie company. Warner Brothers, who turned down a pilot of mine, so fuck them. Fuck WB. Also, they had the Wayans Brothers sitcom. Oh, they did.

So they're back points. And they also had the show, and they also had Looney Tunes, so they're back in. They're back in. Yeah, they really had a diverse, they owned a lot of diverse things. Warner Brothers has a lot of money. Well, they made a lot of money off of Mary's patent. They bought it, she sold it to them, and then they made a gazillion dollars.

They made so much money, millions, from her bra patent. So I guess the first manufacturer of bras was owned by Warner Brothers because she sold the patent to them. And then they started making the cup sizes too. Yeah. I'm a kid that likes to see. Yeah.

Bras are, let's just be honest, bras are necessary though, right? Because it's just support, right? Like you can't run without a sports bra. It hurts, right? And the first sports bra was in the 1970s, in 1977. Is that wild? That is wild. That is wild. The bra was in the 1970s, 1977. Is that wild?

That is wild. That is wild. The women have only been running since 1977. But let me ask you a question. Women whose boobies are really, really, really small, they don't need bras. No, they don't need bras. Not everybody needs a bra. No.

No, they don't. Yeah, they do. Yeah? I'm asking honestly. Yeah. It depends on who you are. Some women have sensitive nipples, and they want to kind of cover it. I have sensitive nipples. Also, it's on who you are. Some women have sensitive nipples and they want to kind of cover it. I have sensitive nipples.

Also, it's not also for support. It's also to kind of make you feel sexy and empowered. There's so many uses for any. It's a fashion statement as well. It's not just for support. part i i love the fact that human body has a few sexualized parts that have that are have multi functions they're like what do you mean like they just use for more than one thing which is kind of efficient like a penis can do pp and sex a bra can give milk and and get and get sucked on yeah well but sucked on one for milk and one for pleasure and one for pleasure yeah well does

that even feel good because of a man's if women say it feels good but i've i've also sucked on. But sucked on one for milk and one for pleasure. And one for pleasure, yeah. But does that even feel good? Because if a man... Women say it feels good, but I've also sucked on some titties where the woman said it didn't feel good. They're just numb. They got numb nips. And I don't know why women got numb nips. They got numb nippy. Fake?

Huh? No, no fakes. Are they fakies? I don't know if I've ever really sucked on fakies. I'm 100% natty. But you know what? You know what's interesting is the sexualized this i eat organic sexualized parts sexualized parts is just a society thing depending on what

society you're in because the amish are attracted to women's elbows they're also attracted to lynn yeah they're attracted to women's elbows so no that's just like a sec i don't know it's just like if i told you because there's no real reason we should be attracted to the things we're attracted to, right? No, actually, there is a reason. There is because the boobies, it's all subconscious in procreation, right? You're attracted to boobs. What moves your monkey most about a woman? Moves my monkey most about a woman?

Yeah. If she's Latina or Hispanic. Right. One. Or looks Hispanic. Or Lebanese. Can we put the clip up, please? Yeah.

She has to, like, be darker. She doesn't have to be, but I like that. You're not into a pale Scandinavian girl. It's not that I'm not into them. It's just you're asking me what moves my monkey. Because I've been involved with other girls, but what really moves my monkey right away is a nice Hispanic. Yeah. girls but what really moves my monkey right away is a nice hispanic yeah um i like i like sea boobies and i i like a i like a nice big butt yeah um i like them to be relatively short yeah um and i'd

like i like them to have went to community college at the most as low as those are just your preferences Yeah Yeah And I would prefer if they You know they drive like a Subaru Or take the bus Or something like that

Cause a lot of That's a lot of the girls You grew up around That was just what was around Yeah I like girls That go to Queensborough Community College Or as they call that In Sunset Park

They call that Harvard That's Harvard Yeah You went to college? That's nice. No, I'm kidding. I like a highly educated woman. Fat ass! I don't know what actually moves my monkey about a woman.

I really, I like I like a woman I don't know, lately I like Asian women. I don't know. I don't know. Different kinds of women move my monkey for all different kinds of reasons. Yeah. You know?

Here's an interesting fact about Mary Phelps Jacobson. Mary Michael Phelps? Mary Phelps Jacob. Michael Phelps Mary. Yeah. She, this is a wild, wild fact. She considered the name clitoris. Yeah.

For, what was it? For her dog no for her for her for her so her and her husband were kind of they they were they were swingers right swingers they moved to paris and moved all over the world but uh they were poets i mean she was she was her husband definitely titty fucked her 100 took that bra off and titty fuck her 100% he had an open marriage I mean they that's nice could you ever do that an open marriage you think you guys no

no couldn't do it I don't know Benati is saying yes yeah but she's of that generation like your generation is so much more open than previous generations

I think it has to do now with commitment there's no such thing really as people I mean everybody has can go hook up with someone to drop with a hat so it's like why not be honest about it. I mean, everybody can go hook up with someone

to drop with a hat so it's like, why not be honest about it? I mean, again, I'm not in a very serious relationship right now so that could change.

Yeah. That doesn't mean any of you guys have an open invitation to DM. Are you getting hit up? Are you getting hit up? Yeah,

everybody knows that I do not. Yeah, and you just don't respond to DMs. I don't respond. Please do not. So the Hyena fans are hitting you up, right? They know that I don't respond. They just get it. Yeah, yeah. Don't I do not. Yeah, and you just don't respond to the DMs. I don't respond. Please do not. So the Hyena fans are hitting you up, right?

They know that I don't respond. They just get it. Yeah, yeah. Don't even do it. Don't even hit her up. I take bigger swings. All right. Because it's just going to go unread and erased.

So Mary, who was not Mary her whole life, she changed her name because her husband was like, how about you just try to match my name? His name was Harry Crosby, super rich dude. And they were like, you should be named Clitoris. Right, which is wild. And they considered it for a little bit, except then they went to, she said, okay, no, we'll name the dog Clitoris. And then the daughter would ask, where is this name from?

And they said it was from a Greek goddess. So go figure. They were crazy. They took a lot of drugs, and they had a lot of sex. Who was Harry C And they said it was from a Greek goddess. So go figure. They were crazy. They took a lot of drugs, and they had a lot of sex. Who was Harry Crosby? He was just a rich kid that she married? Just a rich dude. And he was the last of the three husbands, Harry Crosby?

He actually, he's wild. He had an affair with a 20-year-old and fell in love with her. And what happened is that he wrote her love letters, and he also had like a suicide pact with mary it was kind of wild and so he had a suicide pact with mary yeah sorry backtrack he had a suicide pact with mary she was kind of a little wild she was a wild yeah job of a woman fast forward they uh had a they were outside they were outside of their marriage and then he had a affair and he killed himself i think because she the 20 year old married someone else wow you gotta be though you gotta be kind of like these

innovative thinkers that create these things that change the world usually they're a little nuts because they're they're operating in a place that most people's minds don't go to yeah i feel that way where mary phelps jacob was certainly wild. She was wild. She was a singer. She invented bra. By the way, the Black Sun Press, it's pretty impressive. This episode's a snoozer. Yeah, well, that's why I was trying...

This episode's a real snooze fest. When I was learning about her, I was like, we gotta go in another direction because the bitch just... She invented a bra and that's it. It's a snoozy woozy. My daughter's had a stomach virus, so I just't slept i ate too many bagels i have to pee i've drank three bottles of water and it's just a snoozer yeah because i was about to say but this is pretty interesting what is it yanni your sleeves are too short the the black sun press

publishing company um fuck you was instrumental in publishing in publishing some pretty famous authors, though. Ernest Hemingway, Archibald MacLeish, Henry Miller, Anis Ning, who's a big female hero. Is she? A lot of people love her. Her name's Anis. Her name's Anis Ning. Hey, Anis. Charles Bukowski.

Fuck him. Charles Bukowski in there, too. Yeah, the comedian who fucking we stayed in a bed and we stayed in the hostel in his neighbor that he killed his wife in or something like that, right? Absolutely. I mean, that was in Rhode Island? No, I thought you said Charles Bukowski. Wasn't Timmy Dillon saying that the apartment? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was staying my Airbnb. We got the money back from him. We got the money back from him. Right back. Yeah. Because Yanni sniffs out a deal. Yeah. We got the money back from him. We got the money back from him.

Right back. Yeah. Because Yanni sniffs out a deal. Yeah. The Airbnb in L.A., I was saying, it was exactly the spot where Charles Bukowski lived when he was living in L.A. Yeah.

You're Yanni Yahweh. I'm Yanni Yah-Yah. No, but Yahweh. The Jewish people call God Yahweh. Yeah. Are people going to think this is misogynistic because we're putting no effort into her? No, no, no.

Or is she just not that interesting? No, no. It's not that she's not that interesting. It's just I literally, I'm tired. I have the remnants probably of my kid's stomach virus. I'm not at 100%. I eat too many bagels. I haven't been plant-based.

My face feels swollen. I haven't went to the gym. So I just have low, low, low energy. You drove three hours to get here. In honor of Women's Month, you sound like a woman. That's what I was trying to get at. Yeah. You're like, I feel fat.

I don't feel great. That's what I was getting to. Whenever you hear a laundry list of complaints, I just see my wife's face. That's what I was trying to get to. You stopped me before I was going to get to it. And that's what it is. And I'm just feeling like a woman. And I feel like it's appropriate to go off on a little bit of a rant here.

I just want to go off on a little bit of a rant here and say that in honor of Women's Month, yeah, I do have things that I'm complaining about and you don't remember my birthday. You know what you did. You know what you did and I don't want to talk about it. Because I love women. I'm into women. I was just kidding around. I like women.

I'm sexually and romantically attracted to women. Yeah, you're sexy. That's so much that you like to put their clothes on. You FF. It's what it is. I like women too. I fucking like women, but they don't fucking make me as horny as guys. I'm just going to go on the record and say, happy woman's month, okay?

Literally, if you're a hairy woman, if you're a fucking hairy woman, and you have good conversation, and from the back you look like a goalie, I want to fuck you. I don't know what else to say, okay? I have to pee. I just, I want to be here, but I just have a laundry list of complaints today because it is fucking woman's mouth. Did she invent the bra when she was 19? That's pretty impressive.

That's pretty fucking impressive. She was a smart chick. She was like a Pete Davidson. She used... In what way? She begged that Ariana Grande? No, because at 19, he got SNL, and she invented the bra. Yeah, one was a little bit more important than the other one.

Yeah, what? Yeah. The latter's only important to one person. Lorne Michaels, for some reason. Lorne Michaels, for some reason. Yeah. She was... Jacob could have had a better Netflix special.

I'm just kidding. I mean, no. Chrissy Clarice. I'm just kidding. Yeah, it's just. Yeah, it's S-L-O-K-A-R. I'm just kidding. There's no reason.

It's S-L-O-K-A-R. For S-L-O-K-A-R. Yas. For women's money. Just kidding around. It's S-L-O-K-A-R. We could tackle that or not. I don't give a fuck.

It doesn't matter. It's just what it is. Now that I got more meat and got bagels on me, I'll throw hands. And if you throw hands at me and connect, it won't hurt as much. No. Because I'm not made of cauliflower. No. But do I have a fat, bloated face?

No, you don't. You don't. I just look normal. Yeah. I mean, do I? Do I look fat to you? No, you look skinny. Are you sure?

I think. Do I look fat? Wait, do I look fat? Are you sure? I feel fat. Are you sure? I think. Do I look fat? Wait, do I look fat? Are you sure? I feel fat. Are you sure? You look gorgeous. Seriously.

You're my queen. You look gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you. Babe, do you want to get drinks? You're my queen. Are we going to get drinks? Yeah, let's go get drinks.

Do you guys want to get a glass of wine? No, let's get drinks. Margarita. Yeah, do you guys want to go to Mexican? Do you guys want to get margaritas? Let's get margaritas brunch. Let's get some guac and margaritas. Honestly, literally, I was like looking at this dude I used to date's Instagram.

His new girlfriend is fucking fat. Oh my fucking God. So fat, like not even like good fat, like an avocado, like fat, fucking fat bitch. Fuck out of here, my queen, my queen, my queen, my queen. You're my queen. You're my queen. Absolutely. I just my queen. Absolutely. I just don't know why.

Like, you just don't even, like, consider me. Yo. Do you guys want to get a fucking glass of wine after this and just unwind? I want to fucking unwind. Unwind. Yeah. I want to go watch. I literally want to go watch a movie.

I want to go home. I want to. Oh, my God. The Grammys are on. Are the Grammys on? Oh my god, the Country Music Awards are on. Are they? I don't know,

but if they are, I'm excited. There was some dance show that was on the other night. Was that Dance-O-Rama? Let's go watch it. Let's go. Let's go. Listen. Guys, Housewives is on in 20 minutes. I gotta get out of here It's women's month

She and Mary Phelps Jacob invented bras Other than that she was a snoozy Other than that she was a big fucking ball of snooze Next week Next week we're coming out We're gonna talk about a fucking real woman That's interesting Eileen Wuornos

The first female serial killer Be killed Be killed by an electric chair That's who the episode we're doing on next week We're swinging all the way to the other We're doing the first female serial killer I don't give a fuck She was burned in the electric chair. That's who the episode we're doing on next week. We're swinging all the way to the other. We're doing the first female serial killer. I don't give a fuck. She was burned in an electric chair

and she killed everybody. And then we're doing RuPaul. Yeah, and then we're doing that. And then, yeah, we're going to do women that I fucking want to hear about. We're going to do Eileen Wuornos, the first female serial killer. We're going to do fucking RuPaul.

And Martina Navratilova. We're going to do Martina Navratilova. We're going to do all these fucking, we're going to do women who are making a difference and Ann Coulva. We're going to do Martina Navratilova. We're going to do all these fucking – we're going to do women who are making a difference. And Ann Coulter. We're doing everybody. Let's do Ann Coulter. We're doing Ann Coulter.

We're doing Cleopatra. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter. Condoleezza Rice. We're doing Condoleezza Rice. Hillary Clinton. Yeah, we're doing fucking Hillary Clinton. Yeah, I'm with her.

It's what it is. Pete Davidson loves Hillary Clinton. Of course. Yeah. Here's an interesting thing, though. Yeah, the'm with her That's what it is Pete Davidson loves Hillary Clinton Of course Yeah Here's an interesting thing though Yeah, the last thing Give her credit No, this is a question I really have

I have to pee She made her first bra She figured out the bra By using two silk handkerchiefs And a pink ribbon She tied them around her titties Now let me ask you a question What took so long?

What took so long after the Minoan Greeks? Is there no other instances in history besides the corset where there was a bra type of apparatus that women were using? No. So what took so fucking long? Because that seems like a pretty rudimentary thing to do because women always had titties. They were always bouncing around you would think some smart woman would just like try to figure something out to hold her titties i bet you a lot they didn't want to or i think probably a lot did it

was just like maybe um failed she was right person right time and just like i think a lot of it was just being poor yeah and then also uh being a woman you weren't expected to do things like that and guys just didn't give a shit. Right. About your Ted Aronis. What do we got, Fanny? What do we got, Fanny?

They did have certain bands that they would wear over their, you know, garments but it wasn't something that was necessary.

It wasn't totes ness. If it wasn't them doing it by themselves it probably wasn't worldwide and really. You also have to realize it's like it wasn't them doing it by themselves, it probably wasn't worldwide. Right. You also have to realize it's like silk wasn't everywhere.

To have silk was a big deal. Right. People were just wearing burlap all their lives. What's burlap? It's what potato sacks

were made out of. Right. That's what the paupers were. And you don't want those rubbing against your nipples. You'd just rather have nothing. No. I'd like to put you

in a sack and beat you. Yeah. Why? Burlaps Yeah burlaps are harder than nips Yeah that was That came out of left field I'd hit you with a fucking

Wiffle ball bat in a sack Why did you just I wanna Cause he thinks I'm full of candy Yeah Yeah I wanna You wanna just hit him

Like a pinata Yeah And see if candy comes out No Mikey Mikey pinatas Yeah Listen

Do you like Do you like wearing a bra? Are you talking to Mike or Vanitya? Yeah. I bet you this is going to... Fans are going to love this. We don't like it, but I think it's going to be great. I just have to pee. It's an emergency.

You're not allowed to. She doesn't want you to do it. Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe. My love, my love. My love, my love. my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love,

my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love,

my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love,

my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love,

my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my love, my Jacob, my queen. No, Mary Phelps Jacob is my queen. She's my queen, and she was out of her fucking mind. You got a hole in your shirt. I know. You always need to get some money. Mary Phelps Jacob was fucking crazy. She was out of her mind.

Wait, just because there's a lot of Patreon members this time, so I just want to give a good read. I got to just tinkle. I got to sprinkle. All right, give me the names. No, you can't do it. Okay, I'll talk to Venetia For a second

While you go V Tell me about What a bra does for you And I wanna ask you Is Mary Phelps Jacob your fucking queen From Westchester

For inventing the bra She's First of all She's American So salute for that I think what was cool About her Is that she made something

That was so innovative And changed women's lives That And she was pretty humble About it She's like yeah i made the bra i i helped out people and she did a lot of people were impressed by it but she was a humble individual so that's kind of cool and she did other dope shit yeah she did a lot of dope shit and she that she invented it when she was 19 was pretty impressive yeah that she had the wherewithal to sell. I'm sure she made a little bit of money when she sold it because she didn't really – I guess she didn't have the leverage

or the connections to make them or the – so Warner Brothers ended up manufacturing them. Is that what happened? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Did she make any money? What did she sell them for? Let's see what she sold them for.

$15,000. Ooh. So today that's about 41 and a half oh she got the short end of that deal but she didn't care which i think is pretty cool she had other shit going on in her life so she was like the tesla of the bra maker she just didn't care she wanted to help out humanity either that or she was too busy getting banged out by her husband's friends it's what it is because she was a swinger i gave mary phelps jacob chlamydia she was a fucking swinger okay here we go so thank you guys so much um i thought that was a swinger. I gave Mary Phelps Jacob chlamydia. She was a fucking swinger. Okay, here we go. So thank you guys so much.

I thought that was a nice kickoff. Oh, by the way, she loved drugs and booze, too. Yeah. That's interesting. She was a wild one. Yeah, I think that this first episode, the kickoff women's month, was good, not great, like the WNBA. It's a good joke, though. Kidding. I'm just kidding around. It's one of those things. It's like, you know, I guess's a good joke, though. Kidding.

I'm just kidding around. It's one of those things. It's like, you know, I guess it's necessary, kind of. Way Jung Jang. Ladies, we're just, this whole episode's Way Jung Jang. We love and respect women.

We just, you're just not as good as men and that's not our fault. That's God's fault. And you know what the truth is? I'm just saying this to the fans, to the hyena fans. I'm just kidding around

because let's be honest with you. Most of our female fans are Republican women and they know where they belong in the kitchen. They listen to this podcast as they're cooking the sauce. It's what it is. Yeah, I mean, you just... No, I'm kidding. I'm just kidding around. Obviously, you know by now we're being facetious and kidding around. I mean, but let's be honest.

I mean, dating a progressive woke girl is a nightmare. It's a nightmare. I want, that's what I want. I would prefer my girl to have a relatively low IQ, have gone through community college at the max, and voting for Trump's a nightmare. I want, that's what I want. I would prefer my girl to have a relatively low IQ, have gone through community college at the max, and voting for Trump, a guarantee. I don't want to deal with anybody else who's woke until 420.

Way down, John. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, it's a joke. This whole thing has been a character piece. V looks like she's seen a ghost this episode. No, V, I'm kidding around. I'm sorry, V. We took this episode to place. You don't like what happened this episode,

but it happened. Sorry, the topic's a snooze. Yanni picked this topic. I picked it. I think I remembered. I was wrong. We should have just did men's month for women's month. It's just what it is. Next week we're going to do Isaiah Thomas, the basketball player. I think next week when we do Eileen Wuornos, it's going to be great. It's going what it is. No, I think next week we're going to do Isaiah Thomas, the basketball player. No, I think next

week when we do Eileen Wuornos, it's going to be great. It's going to be fucking great. This one was great too. It was great. I bet you people are going to like it. I'm kidding. I kind of had like a second wind. I'm honestly just I felt like I wasn't being myself giving the energy that I normally give because I'm just

I'm real tired. I'm tired. I feel fat. I just feel like I'm going to do a lot emotionally. You know, I'm not giving the energy that I normally give because I'm just, I'm real tired. You are not yourself today. Yeah, you are not. I'm tired. I feel fat. I just feel like I'm doing a lot emotionally. You know, I'm sorry. I thought it was, I thought like I was reading it wrong and I thought you were mad at me. No. And now I understand.

You're not mad at me. I'm never mad at you. You're not mad at me. I'm not mad at you. So you were going through your own thing. Girl, yes. I'm going through my own thing. Work, bitch.

Yes. Okay, I understand. Now I understand because at first I thought you were mad at me and now I feel better. No, girl, no. Fuck this bitch. No. He's so, she's, fuck this bitch. Oh my God.

But I love you. No, I love you. You're great. Fuck him. I love it. Okay. Yeah, let's hear it. You're a great reader.

Patreon.com slash bay ridge boys these are the newest members of the matron mike's a fuck boy yeah patreon.com slash bay ridge boys um these are the newest members who want to read your names out quickly thank you for obviously the best names we'll get a um uh ppw student pnc of the week and we are starting it off with, hey, I want to take Venetia on a dope date, Warren. Wow. Start it off with that. Start it off.

And let me just say this real quick. If you're not aware of patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, there's a bunch of tiers you can join where you enjoy a bunch of bonus content that you're missing out on, and now there's a whole backlog of stuff you can binge. Go join. Support the matriarchy. Fucking stupid. Josiah 1-2 combo to the throat box.

Lundquist. Anton LaPlume. Kane Gunn. Invite the neighbors. Do it yourself podcast. Wow. Some podcasts are getting screwed in. I mean, yeah.

They're promoting on our podcast. Very smart. Give them credit. Maranara staying on my new ladder 14. I'm sorry. Maranara staying on my new ladder 14 shirt. Unfortunately, not a cha okay went for it just a sandy d from smithtown now i mean yeah me little beefcake you're taking a peek

what cool bvs daniel gomez cutie with the smoothie and a nice booty cutie with the smoothie and a nice booty yeah donnie mikey mikey wife beater with tomato sauce stained gusto. Very funny. Monsignor's favorite six-year-old wiener. Very funny. Very funny. Adam. Weijiong Sean.

Weijiong Sean. Give him credit and give Weijiong... What was the other guy? Weijiong from last week? They're both funny. They're both funny. Very well. Hugh in the pew waiting on Father Bill to

shoot rope on my potato monkey face. He went for it. I like it, though. He went for it. For me, it's... Then we got Mike got 420's number off the bathroom stall downing. See, now we're going to originality points.

Mark him. He's a keeper for me. Hagpop, Alec, non-toot, put in my wife's poop shoot once a week. It's a character piece. Good one. Good one. Elliot Thomas, Vinny got to have a washcloth for that ass. Yeah, give it to Vinny. Mexie Squeak, who gets banged out with a pseudopeen because I'm an ally.

Gonzalez. Mexie Squeak is a goodie. Give it to him. Yeah, because I'm an ally. Gonzalez. Mexi-squeak is a goodie. Give it to him. Yeah, because I'm an ally. Like it. Evan, my marriage, even my marriage is a sham because I'm a secret FF Tucker. Now we're cooking with gas. We're cooking with gas.

Jen Bridge, Andres Trejo, Frank Khan, James Teresina, Dan, Tyler Woods, Craig Schwerin, Rat Whale, Connor Hughes, got a situation with the Latin mother, Lenkowski. Thank you for your service, everyone. Evan, I have awful allergies. Chrissy's, it's your move, babe, Laguna. It's a goodie, but I mean, he's a Clyde Drexler. Angel Casas, here for the content.

Bruce, the pseudo-penis power washer, Martin. Stephanie, Chris, you can crack me open but you can take me on a date cute cute stevie d crack my p chrissy d love you hard poor s lo ks yeah cyrus bryant manny s grayson thorpe cameron myers lucas mccomb ahmed alostad jason the philly cuck with my peace tuck shout out smithtown Witter. Nice. Mike Hurley. Gucciano getting it. Jeffrey, put your skin flute in my loose toot shoot. Hallowitz.

Everybody's with the skin flute. I mean, with the skin flute. Why do we even say skin flute? We never say skin flute. And that's about the 10th or 15th skin flute guy we got. The straight Danish dynamite who just might want to fight for the right. I like it. Real nice. Can you mark him, please? I'll mark him. Yeah. Matthew Suckleberry Finn Stanton. straight Danish dynamite who just might want to fight for the right. I like it.

That is real nice. Can you mark him, please? I'll mark him. Yeah. Matthew Suckleberry Finn Stanton. Nice. Very funny. Suckleberry.

Alex, Zachary Lee, Darby McDowell, Matt, Patrick, Ryan Gensler. Florian, send me those book and confirmations from Munich or we're not going. That's a good Florian. Yeah. I mean, we got to just, let's just handle that today. I mean, that's hilarious. Yeah, that is real funny. How you doing, Florian? Yeah, we will handle that.

That is hilarious that he joined the Patreon to give us that message. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to be in Germany, me and Chrissy, and we're going to go prance around and do some history tours and a few shows. That's what it is. That's right. We got to confirm that. Kyle, mostly Irish, dash of White Walker.

I'll throw myself over the wall. Willie, full finook, but half a squeak to third. Cameron Grant, Cameron Hill, Juan Camilo Morales, Patrick Haler, not mean muzz with an average piece and sad parents because I'm no MD. Nice. Pretty funny. Amanda. Very funny.

Mike White Walker on Winstroll Fiero. Originality points. You got to mark him down on Winstroll. White Walker on Winstroll. Never had that. Okay. Tim Dillon's cutie patootie twink. Nice.

Dan Chapman. Johnny Cuckleseed at Convent Coven. Shameless butt plug. Okay. All right. Yanni needs a Siggy Yanni needs a Yanni needs a

Chiggy Fingy I don't know Chiggy Chiggy Fingy I don't get it but he went for it it's a swing and a miss Chrissy D

let's get drunk at a Rangers game sometime I'll see myself to the back it's more of an offer Ryan Nelson hi Ryan Nick Posse Ben my grand

Ben my grandparents escaped war crimes. Weijan. Jesus Christ. Kid had some German Nazi grandparents. Okay. Carson, my pseudopeen is a dream. Now, Mean Jones. Nice.

Real good. Jesse Rupert. Yeah. Shannon died choking on fumes from the toot. It's just what it is. Taylor. Very nice. Kevin, seven inches from taint to tip. Yeah. Shannon died choking on fumes from the toot. It's just what it is. Taylor. Very nice. Kevin, seven inches from taint to tip.

Nice. Real nice. It's just two Clyde Drexlers in a row. Bishoy Fargo. Joey, 52. Married five kids but want to catch Chrissy's glue. Real good. Joey, 52.

Yeah. Got to mark him, yeah. Yeah, let's mark him. Wow. Nothing's like jumping out, though. Right. Ashley Ramalas Yeah. I like it. Mark him. Yeah. Yeah. Let's mark him. Wow. You know, nothing's like jumping out, though. Right. Ashley Ramalassman, Justin Holm, Maddie Face and the Mash McTaters. Funny.

Caterino. I got shot with a cartel catapult into this great country. Salazar. Very funny. Yanni Papsmere. Nev. Shane, the fumed up stinky Twinkie Salvi these are good jack grimes aiden dalton david tucked back ready to catch flack spence funny alexander sorsakis greek josh the half

jewish wasp getting tossed around by his german boss weinstein salmon ahmed maddie norton ivan the great white walker your shmordo Lobato. Okay. Jen Hartwick, Stan, Justin, check me for prostitutors, Parker. Tal, make no mistake, Creed, Spencer Mano, David Smith, Frank, Ardito, make no mistake, has a thick Italian burrito. Okay. Tristan Diate, Gregory Lay, Mike Pan, Louis Potashnik jesus asodia joey no blowies because i'd rather crack you open and i might have fumes nick nice travis c not funny it's what it is

ian ryan moved the vegetables couple of raisins sorry ryan moved the vegetables couple raisins i'm coming over i fucked the read up sorry ryan it's good one leroy screwed in leroy ready to get cracked open by the boys nick the detailer cracking cars open and clean them out since 2015 cody jessup former toot with a mute flute need and blizzy in my snoot i mean the flutes are just we got i love them no more flutes no i mean a lot of flutes. James Smith, Travis Lewandowski, Harry, Alejandra, Rossi, Wossi. I like it. Yummy in Mommy's tummy. Goody.

Goody. Louie craved a greased weasel tango with Giannis dirty long schlong heating. Okay. Justin Nakarada, Lexi Street, Jessica Emerson, Holly, Justin Scott, Michael Federici. Then we have my art teacher touch my glue gun, but you don't hear me crying about it. There we go. There we go.

That was the homer we were waiting for. Then we got my balsamic spit stick, shot out Christy's mouth like it was lipstick, Eddington. Yeah, we got another homer. Back-to-back homers. Yeah. Dave Banning. Take the pitcher out.

He's getting rocked. Dave Banning, Jay, Will Jackson, Thomas Jarnigan, Tim Dillon's keto diet. Chris, Connor, next tendon in Chrissy's lap, then love sack to get cleaned out. Then we got Kathleen Na-Mean. Then we got- Kathleen Na-Mean is a goodie. I like Kathleen Na-Mean. Mark, McFuck with my dick tuck, McCormick.

Maddie, who likes to tussle, wants Yanni to flip me over and tug on my love sack. He went for it, but he swung and missed. Gerard Britton, halfie with an average staffie, will still eat Chris's ass. You like Laffy Taffy. Chris's assie. Yeah, that's another homer. Okay. I think those three are the best ones that are later.

Victor, Covado Abias, French kid with Napoleon S. Cargo, size piece. Pretty funny. Like that. Yeah, Clyde Drexler. Jay, use a washcloth, babe. It would hurt. Okay.

Jay, use a washcloth, babe. It won't get hard unless you use a washcloth, babe. Look at originality. My favorite, actually. Yeah. Neil Daughtery, Michael Ash, Danny Connell, Ben Gordon, straight to the back because I'm trying to eat some raisins. Menu, Tim Schneider, Kevin Foster, Asher, Alex Fumes clears rooms but somehow cracks and cleats toots. Ladinson.

Funny. Alec Frosh. Patreon for the puddle in my lap. Tosh, Ryan Johnson, Calvin Combs, Brian McCormick, Oliver Wolfe, Josh, Nick, Samuel Albu, and then last but not least, Tyler, Chrissy, Wissy, I want to drink your pissy bruns. Goody, goody, goody, Clyde Drexler. So who's the winner? We had some good ones up top.

I think it's between my art teacher touched my glue gun, but you don't hear me crying about it, and my balsamic spit stick shot on Chrissy's mouth like it was lipstick. Eddington. Yeah. Huh? I like cry about it. I cry about it. Yeah. And then there was one more.

The recent one. Half average with this washcloth. Oh, Jay, use a washcloth, babe. It won't get hard unless you use a washcloth, babe. I mean, that's a goodie. That Veneti is going that way. That's her washcloth. Yeah.

Let's do it. Mike, who do you like? Washcloth is good. Yeah, I mean. Jay, use a washcloth, babe. It won't get harder unless you use a washcloth. Yeah, I mean, it's just funny. I mean, sometimes you can't explain humor. The other ones were really great, but you won. So washcloth, it won't get harder if you get a washcloth.

Congratulations, you're a PP. You gotta read the ads. Okay. Yeah, just read them. Where are they? Right here. Give it to me. You know what they are. Yeah. Fucking Lakeside Maple and fucking Altucher and 9th Street Auto Collision. They're all going to go when we sign this deal with Barstow. No.

Chrissy, we love our fucking sponsors. No kidding. Well, James doesn't care. He doesn't even listen. He doesn't even listen. He doesn't know what's going on. But you know what, guys? Man armed with a gun at West 4th Street right now.

Really? Sorry. Oh, shit. That's around the corner. That's right around the corner. I'm getting out of here and going back to the country. This city's going back to hell. Get this guy out of office.

Let's get him out of office. Get him out. I don't like this guy. What's his fucking name? The mayor right now? Mayor fucking, Mayor DeHomo? Yeah, fucking Mayor de Blasio. We got to get this fucking guy out of here.

Let's get him out of here. I don't fucking like that guy one bit. He's fucking, this shit is going right back to fucking Mayor de Blasio. We got to get this fucking guy out of here. Let's get him out of here. I don't fucking like that guy one bit. He's fucking... The city's going... The city's going right back to fucking Mayor Dinkins days. Yeah. Yeah, get him the fuck out of here. Bring Giuliani back.

I don't care if the fucking Giuliani's fucking crazy. Bring that... Bring that fucking guy back. Let's do it. Okay, read this fucking... Anyway, I want to say thank you to the fans who have been buying Lakeside Meeple. First of all... Yeah.

It's great when you have a sponsor who you're enthusiastic about. I'm a user. Not only am I a Hair Club for Men owner, I'm also a client. Yeah. Hair Club for Men? Yeah, you remember that famous commercial? Oh, yeah.

Not only am I a Hair Club for Men. I was like, are they a sponsor now, too? No, we should get them, though. Yeah, we should. They can't afford us. What I'm basically saying is, not only are we sponsored by lakeside maple but i am a proud user of lakeside maple i do not exaggerate a lot of you when i say i i eat it every day there's three flavors

where do you eat it out of i eat it i don't know i don't not like you i don't do it put it in my butt and scoot it around okay yeah no i put it in my yogurt yeah no my ass is like a vacuum cleaner for lakeside maple yeah you get ready to scoot i get ready to scoot i put that little almond milk yogurt almond milk yogurt and then i fucking take the vacuum cleaner hose and i just put it right up there yeah because it's a good combination i think it's his grandmother's recipe which is great and uh maybe he's got little bits of his grandmother in it maybe that's why it's so good maybe that's what he put her body through the wood chipper like it was fucking fargo it's some sort of family recipe it's baked in pure maple syrup.

Three flavors. I mix them up. Original, ginger, chai, and spicy. I know it by heart because I use it. And I got a free supply whenever I want. And you've been taking nice shits now. Because fucking trail mix nuts is the best thing for you. Yeah.

Eat more nuts. Guys, eat more nuts. To our big fans who could be a little healthier. You don't have to tell me twice. Not only is it healthy, it's delicious. It really is. Lakeside Maple. Get in the trail mix.

It's so delicious. Go to lakesidemaple.com. Put in the promo code WILD, and you'll get 15% off your total offer. If he knows you're a hyena fan, if you use the WILD promo code, he'll probably fucking throw his shirt in there. Who knows?

Maybe I'm making this job Harder than it is But go to Lakesidemape.com Order yourself your trail mix Thank you Lakeside Maple It's absolutely delicious And we're also brought to you By 9th Street Auto Collision

Frankie Haydn He's out there In Huntington Station Yeah On three nights a week He goes to sushi restaurants With purple lighting Yeah and he's still looking

For the podcast On his AM FM radio That's what he's doing You don't even know He's like I don't see The hand he's still looking for the podcast on his AM FM radio. That's what he's doing. You don't even know. He's like, I don't see the hand he's in. It's supposed to be on the fucking radio. Yeah. Go to Night Shoot Auto Collision.

If you live in Long Island or if you want to take the drive out there just to meet the great, famous Frankie over at Night Shoot Auto Collision, go over there, Huntington Station. It's at 133 West Hills Road. Most importantly, the phone number is 631-351-5300. The kid will repair anything that goes wrong with your fucking car. All right? He's been giving good people good deals on parts and labor since the giddy-up.

Yeah. And that's the copy he gave us. We give you good deals. And he wrote the word giddy-up? Yeah. You know what? He hasn't even said this, but he'll give you 10% off if you tell him you're a hyena fan. That's the kind of woman I want to date.

It's not part of his copy, but I'm just saying, tell him Giannis said you'll get 10% off whatever goes wrong with your car if you go to 9th Street Auto. Because the mechanics are all stealing from me anyway. They're taking your money anyway. 9th Street Auto Collision, out there on the island, Long Island. It's Long Island. And we're also brought to you by the great James Altucher. Also known as Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Exactly.

You can follow him at James Al Tucher. Go say hello to James. He's a friend and family member of the podcast now. Check out his podcast, which is called Something James Al Tucher. I think it's just James Al Tucher. He doesn't care. It's a big podcast, and he's an interesting guy.

So go check it out. He's also a comedian. Who isn't? Who isn't? Check out his podcast. He also does MMA does he do MMA probably probably and go to his club Stand Up New York

on the Upper West Side James L. Tucher at James L. Tucher listen yeah thank you guys so much of course go to you know

appreciate you supporting us at Patreon come see us live March 19th Gramercy Theater April 29th Wall Street Theater tickets on

historyonhenes.com for all me and Giannis' individual live dates. You can find everything there as well. Norwalk, that's in Norwalk, Connecticut. Yeah, baby. So we're going to be out. We're going to be out. We love you. Outro Music