History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 131 - Quarantine is WILD!

Episode Date: March 21, 2020

In the midst of the NYC Coronavirus outbreak, Yanni records from home and Chris reveals where he's recording from halfway thru and it's WILD! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

what's up, everybody? another episode, a special edition episode of quarantined hyenas, history hyenas with Chrissy quarantine and Yanni quarantine. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm eating chicken quarantining. Yeah. I mean, this is listen, we're not going to stop doing this podcast if me or Chris go to jail or if there's a deadly virus that was brought on by the Chinese to deplete our population so they could take over the world.

It's not going to happen. I do have right up the bat. I want to ask because they have stopped elective surgeries, which I get. But is a sex change elective? What it's a medical condition that I'm the wrong sex. Yeah, I think in your case, it's a mandatory emergency surgery and you might have to petition the governor for him to make an allowance. Yeah.

Now, here's the thing. The baby does have a cough and the baby's had a cough since thursday so she's probably carrying and gave it and gave it to me now that what's the what's the statistics for white men going down with this white healthy men yeah i think it's like aids i don't think straight white men can get it right yeah right that's why i have it because i'm't think straight white men can get it. Right. Yeah, so that's why I have it, because I'm not a straight white male. Now, let me ask you a question. I have coronavirus, and that's why we're doing this, because Mike

is in the studio, and me and Chris were both worried about Mike's well-being, because we went to the studio, and Mike gets coronavirus. Make no mistake, Mike Suarez is going to die. Because Mike's had coronavirus this whole time. I mean, the kids passed out on the podcast multiple times. Yeah, I mean, Mike, you cannot afford to be leaving the house right now.

We are super appreciative of your dedication to this podcast that you went into the studio because you're the one who can't get this because you can't breathe. Mike, can you hear us and talk back or no? Yeah, I can hear you. Are you wheezing? No, I'm wearing a mask. Cuz, now, you did have whooping cough once in your life. Now, what's the difference between coronavirus and whooping cough?

From what I've read, whooping cough is way worse. Whooping cough destroys your lungs forever. So do you feel like you have destroyed lungs from your battle with whooping cough? It feels different. I gained a bunch of weight because I couldn't exercise for a year. Yeah, I think you got destroyed lungs from all the Slurpees and all the hoagies you eat, guys. Now, Venetia is not coming in. Is she woke?

Where's Venetia? She hasn't said. Yeah, she said in text she's being ultra precautious and she's got hand sanitizer and progressive ways to protect her cause. Let me ask you a question. I converted to Republicanism last week. Do you think that that patriotism from that gives me an extra layer of force field around me? I think there's two things and two things only that protects from this coronavirus. One is the mask. Two is draping yourself in the American flag. I don't there's no way that that fucking virus can get through stars and stripes.

Yeah. I mean, because I live in a I live in an area now where I went to the supermarket and there was two things missing. You want to know what those two things were? What? Toilet papers and American flags. It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. American flag is like a stake for vampires right now. Yeah. Well, for me, and I'm still living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, where we're Republicans, too, but they. You're fucking surrounded by Eastern heavies everywhere. Well, that's the thing. The thing is with me is not only is there there's three things missing in my neighborhood.

It's toilet paper, American flags and Chinese people. They've went missing over the past few days. And I don't know what's going on, but they're not here. So I think that, you know, some of the guys in this neighborhood have taken matters into their own hands. Now, listen, me and Chris have consulted, obviously, from our last episode, you know, our coronavirus expert, Jessica Kearson. And she has told us what you need to do is go get yourself an american flag like chris said wrap yourself in it um then what you're going to want to do is you want to go to want to lay down sing the star spangled banner and then pledge your

allegiance to trump and the coronavirus will not be able to get into your body it can't get into your body and i've also been watching a documentary on George Washington just to get my immune system up. Yeah. Yeah. Because patriotism is what's going to boost your immune system right now. So, you know, what you're going to want to do is just turn off Fox News and keep it there. Keep it there. And because can we just make after this one, can we just say to the Chinese that they could only eat hot dogs, hamburgers and pizza? Can we just put them on an American diet for the next year and see if that helps? Yeah, I think we could do that.

And I think we could also just close our goddamn borders. I mean, you're frozen right now. The Skype has frozen. We've been attacked by the Chinese again digitally. Wow, it's like the best picture of a frozen, too. Yeah, I know. I mean, I think that I think

we're being taken physically by Frank Rizzo, and I think the Chinese are attacking us digitally. I will attack digitally. Yeah, because everything just froze on my end. Because you got cute fucking coronavirus hair. It's what it is. How's my quarantine fucking

am I yada yada hair? It's your yada yada hair, but you got to post your quarantine hair and get involved in the hashtag. I'm going to get, I'm going to get it. I'm going to get right in on that. Is it spreading like wildfire? Like the coronavirus is it? Post your quarantine is spreading. Yeah.

I get, I get a lot of them and people are getting mad that I'm not posting. It's like, listen, guy, you know, and then people are like, hey, you know, there's also been a couple of raisins that I've said, oh, this is my quarantine picture, and then it's just your dick. So what can you do? A couple of raisins have gotten into my DMs. Now, the coronavirus seems to have hit

pretty hard in Seattle, which is in Washington. I think, unfortunately, they just missed Portland. It's a little bit, you're a little off from Portland. think, unfortunately, they just missed Portland. It's a little bit, you're a little off from Portland. Yeah, Portland, I wish they would have got people in Portland. I mean, you know, listen, I don't want anyone to die. Of course, I don't want that at all.

You know, I want everyone to stay safe. But it's just like, yeah, Portland just could use a little, just fucking one, two. They could just use a little tuning up. Yeah, they could use a little reality check. Yeah, we don't want anyone to die. You know, it's like but it's funny that I think podcasts will continue via Skype. Well, and, you know, what's interesting is, is I think that, you know, we made a decision last minute to not to not do the podcast.

But we do the podcast from the comedy seller and they're closed. They have said that they have to close. So, Mikey, could we even do the podcast at our regular studio next week? Yeah, they're going to make arrangements. Yeah, okay. So just the club is closed. They're still filming tomorrow for that Comedy Central show. They're filming?

Yeah. How can they film? I thought by tonight, 8 p.m., everyone has to close. Oh, they're not open, but they're going to be filming. Oh, so what? They're going to do it with no studio audience? Or something. I don't know. Oh, they're probably just going to do the stuff from the table. Maybe that too, yeah.

It's just good for our fans to know that no matter what happens, no matter if it's a pandemic, a nuclear war, an attack by Eastern Hemis, whatever happens, we will we will podcast. We will podcast, and no matter what happens, you really can't kill the Jews. They just have ways of just...

Yeah, we should see it. Yeah, just say we should see it if we need it. We should see it. I'm just kidding around. That was just a joke at the owner of the Comedy cellar, Gnome. I was just kidding around. It's just because Gnome's had the club open for the last two weeks, but he hasn't been there. So his business was open, but he's been like, you know what? I'm not going down there.

He's going to kill everybody. He's trying to kill Dan Natterman and can't happen. Yeah. And, you know, this coronavirus is definitely going to put a strain on my marriage. It's what it is, huh, Mrs. Pappas? Mrs. Pappas in the room. Otherwise known as the history hyenas FCC. Mrs. Pappas.

Well, let me just tell you something right now. You don't want to say anything. I got fucking cameras on my front and back lawn right now. I got the Nest installed. So I just got a fucking notification that there's somebody on my lawn. Let me go get my rifle. I'll be right back. Get off my property.

I'm a Republican. I'm a Republican. Now, listen, you went out to dinner last night. I saw from the Instagram for for Verzi's wife's birthday. I mean, what I hope that there were no Chinese around. It just says someone was spotted on my lawn. You know what it is? It's just the guys working in my it's my guys work.

I got guys working all over my house right now. Now, are those guys saying staying six feet away from each other as they work yeah i mean they're staying six feet away because the mexicans are the six feet below me anyway it's what it is now what about the gym you guys gyms are going to close what are you guys going to do my wife just got mad at me for that because they said that regular volume but don't worry they don't speak english it's what it is i can't sacrifice the jokes i gotta do them now cuz now the truth of the situation is being quarantined like this um you guys are probably gonna make a baby so what

so why don't we think of baby names because as long as the baby's trans i'm good that's all i want yeah yeah i just need the baby to be trans if the baby's not trans i'm gonna throw it off the hill like the spartans used to do well the good don't yeah i'm not having a regular sex trans this is i'm not gonna have a regular sex baby going into the future that's an interesting question you break up because you bring up because when babies when the baby's forming inside the womb i believe it has both x and y chromosomes so it's kind of you you start out trans you do start out trans and you start out with the tail as well right yeah yeah now listen there's no clorox or hand sanitizers at all anywhere in bay ridge so we're

gonna have to figure out fun ways to make hand sanitizer yeah no'm wondering. Yeah. No, go ahead. Because I'm wondering. I don't know. What I do have, though, I was thinking about just taking all the antibiotics I have in my fridge and just putting those in water and washing my hands with that.

You could do that or you could just stick both your hands in your ass because it's clean as a whistle because you keep it clean just in case you want to have anal sex. You clean it out with a turkey baster.

Now, the good thing about being celibate right now and not banging any dudes is that there's nothing – when the medical field gets overwhelmed, there's nothing I really have to worry about unless I got COVID-19. But I don't have to – because CityMD is going to close, and it's going to really fuck up. That's the hardest part of my week is not being able to go to CityMD and say hello. Yeah, that's going to be a hard for you, but imagine how hard it's going to be for Hey Bird. Well, I told Hey Bird to go to Vegas. I told him to go back to his family in Vegas.

Yeah, I mean, Hey Bird's probably downstairs just waiting for you right now to get answers about his conditions. I know. Well, that's why I said, I said, Bubba, you got to go to Vegas, be with your fam. And he said he would, but he's scared to go on the plane. I said, Bubba, get on a Greyhound and get your ass out there.

Yeah, because I don't know what you're doing on this podcast because the city and state government needs you. You've been called back up. Yeah, because I've been called back up. I've been asked to renew my physical therapy license because make no mistake, people need their hamstrings massaged when they get COVID-19. Yeah. So tell the people what happened. You actually got an email from Governor Pataki? I don't know who's governor. Yeah, I got an email from the APTA, the American Physical Therapy Association, that said, hey, we've noticed that your license has lapsed due to the recent medical emergencies

or pandemic, whatever they said. They said, we need you to renew your license. We'd like you to renew your license if you'd like to do that. So I haven't responded yet. Yeah, what are they going to need you to do? Just massage out old people? I mean, what do you got to do? You got to put your hands on somebody.

Well, I think, honestly, I think what, seriously, what they probably want is respiratory therapists. I think that they want people who, you know, after they beat this thing, they're going to need their lungs rehabbed and things like that. So I think it's not really for like athletics or children. It's like the older people are going to need respiratory care. But the truth is, for me, for me, like I can still give respiratory care because anyone I want to say this, anyone on the podcast who thinks they have COVID-19, just come by me and i'll kiss you on the lips and we'll just make out a little bit i'll blow air into your lungs now if you get called up can i be your assistant or not or do i have to be filipino yeah you can because you got small hands too that's another thing i noticed

but you got tiny little baby hands just like a filipino so i feel like you'd be a good assistant because make no mistake you're greek and white in every part of your body besides your hands they're little filipino hands i'm i have delicate delicate let's be honest fucking pussy boy hands you've got little puss boy hands and it's okay let's just be honest because the two of us we just you can look at our hands and know that we've never done any physical labor in our entire lives not an ounce not a droplet of it now listen you're coming to bay ridge tonight i'm fucking coming to bay ridge and i'm coming with my i'm coming with my fucking american flag like like a cross and i'm running after heavies to see if i can get them to fucking disappear now are you

coming with your wife to bay ridge now my wife ain't going close to bay ridge you crazy so cuz can i sip over cuz we got us we got a social distance i can't i can't have yeah but what but what if what if we still go head to toe but i it's 6b cuz you better be careful because if you fucking keep trying to get close to me, I'm going to slip a vitamin B in your drink. No! No more B12. Cuz, we got to social distance. We got to social distance. Cuz, it's going to be hard.

Now, listen. What about the people who need comedy work or who need to work? need comedy work and who or who need to work i mean every every week like if the government was saying that people if they if they don't have 400 coming in their their whole life is fucked up so how do we help them what do we do should we get money from the patreon what do we do are you still plant-based yeah i'm playing yeah i am i am plant-based let me tell you something about what plant-based has done for your jawline it's made it fucking cute because even on Skype, Skype adds 20 pounds. But you look like a fucking skinny mini right now. I'm a skinny mini.

Well, that's because I have coronavirus. What can you do? Yeah, I don't know what we're going to do because I don't know what we're going to do. I mean, there are a lot of people out there that need the work at the comic strip right now. And I don't know what we're going to do do because we got to get the studio up and running from your crib now is a time that if it was up and running we'd be good to go yeah just me and you but unfortunately you know unfortunately i don't know i mean i want to build the fuck i'm building a studio up here i'm gonna build a studio on my own apartment i'm gonna build the fucking

room for the baby up here. Build everything. Because there's Jews on my windows. I don't know what's going on. Wow, wait, Shachian. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what's going on. Let me make no mistake.

We spoke about this already, but make no mistake. I woke up today to about five messages from people being like, yo, your boy Yanni's wild. He dropped the N-word. I said, listen,

Yanni quarantines will do what he wants now here's my question to you now that there's nothing oh you coughed yeah now that there's nothing to cancel well how are you how are you feeling that you can't cancel anything because right now i think you always feel good when you put out what what i told you before is you put out something that's just funny why sean is just a funny funny funny character go to yannis at yannis pops on instagram and look at that character it's just 10 out of 10 funny and it makes people feel good so nobody cares if you say in character something not supposed to say because there's an actual pandemic going on so now that cancel culture thing it doesn't exist because now like hey that's helping me so forget about the bullshit you know exactly yeah i mean i think yeah i think in times of

emergency i think uh i think a lot of those pc people their powers go away because people just want to laugh and then i think when times are really good their powers come back because how are you feeling that you can't cancel right now like there's nothing to cancel oh you mean i can't cancel oh i'm sorry i thought you meant cancel culture no i mean i can't cancel right now. Like there's nothing to cancel. Oh, you mean I can't cancel? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant cancel culture. No, I mean- You mean I can't cancel spots or cancel things? You can't cancel toots, you can't cancel spots.

Everything's canceled right now, so you've lost your cancel prowess. Right, right, right. You can't call up and say the baby's underneath the car, I can't make it. That's true. Well, I'm back with my baby's mama, so. Actually, you know what?

Calling up and saying that you can't come because you have coronavirus sounds like something you would use before coronavirus happened. Yeah, like the thing is, yeah, even me, this pandemic has exposed a lot of people. Like, even me, yeah, like I can't cancel on anything. Well, actually, no. can't cancel on anything well actually no i say actually the pandemic has given me all i have to do now is say i can't cancel i have a little bit of a cough and cough a little bit on the phone but that's only going to let here's the problem with the quarantine this is only going to last for about two weeks even though we're going to be need to quarantine for another six weeks and people are going to start spreading it baby we're going to get out there. We're going to start spreading it, but listen, I need

to look at the stats on who's the lowest probable person of having it, and then I'll go try to bang them out. Whatever guy that is. Because you're coughing a lot now. I told you I got corona. What are you coughing for?

I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm laying down. I don't know. Maybe I got coronavirus. I don't know. But if I got coronavirus, I'm going to beat it. Well, I think you're probably coughing because there's people in your house that don't have U.S. passports. That's probably part of the reason. Wait, don't cheer. Because make no mistake, if you cough, here's the thing.

I want now, just because we're under quarantine and shit's serious, when we go out to public places, if you're coughing, if you're coughing a lot and you hold up a U.S. passport, I know it's not a coronavirus cough. But if you're coughing with no passport, we should legally be allowed to take physical action against those people. Yeah, I mean, is vigilante law in place yet? I mean, what's the law situation right now? I don't know. We have to ask Andrew Schultz. Yeah, I mean, what's Schultz doing right now is he quarantined because you know what sucks we just started selling tickets and now we just got quarantined we had just what happens with us we're just we're

almost we kind of got haybirded by fucking coronavirus because when you hang out with yanni almost all of a sudden things just become Olmos. The definition, this is the definition of Yanni Olmos, is just us just really moving along and then just dead in the water. Just dead in the water. By the way, if you're wondering, yes, we forgot to say since this episode will be coming out, this is the special quarantine history hyenas episode. Both of our shows have been postponed. Our show, March 19th at Gramercy Theater, is now off, and it's being postponed to what? Do we know the date at all? June 22nd is the new date as of now.

Okay, so June 22nd will be the new, and those people will get notifications and their tickets will. Yeah, I think once things get back up and and running because everything's in disarray right now also april 29th we haven't got a new date but that also is canceled in norwalk yeah and we have some personal dates that have been canceled too my spring yeah we're canceling everything's being canceled we don't know what this is gonna like uh look like so um just check in with us. But we will keep podcasting. I'm moving back to Bay Ridge. I'm getting a divorce.

You have to watch out. It's what it is. It froze again. Is this going to be... Is this going to be... Are people going to be able to see this too? Yeah, they're going to see his frozen face unless – Oh, God, it's so funny. You just froze.

Okay, now that we're doing a live Skype – You froze too. I screenshotted it. Yeah, I should have screenshotted yours. But now, since we're doing a live quarantine episode, and you're a doctor, especially since you've been called back up during these times, and they need more doctors, you've been promoted to doctor. Anne Eileen and Lynn are crying.

They love it. But I need you to check my prostate. You mind? Here we go. Go ahead. Get me in there. How's the flow? Get the phone lower.

Yeah, you got good flow, cuz. And you got nice, clear peeping. Could you see it or no? Because if you see it, then we're going to get stopped by the FCC. But you couldn't see my piece, right? I couldn't see your piece. Because you got a baby piece. Mike, am I legally allowed to show my open asshole on this or no?

It's going to go on YouTube, so it would be easier for me not to. Okay. Because it would get flagged. That would be us three looking at it. Now, also, guys, I want to encourage everyone to go to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. If you want extra content, I know that people aren't making money and going to work. So we're going to really pump up the Patreon to make it worth it for you guys. And, of course, if you don't want to join, no pressure at all.

We're still going to be putting out a lot of free stuff, but we're going to be putting out a lot of fun stuff. I would say by the end of this week, Janus and I are going to meet, and we're going to get a lot of Sean Terry and Patrick Mulrooney content going, and it's going to be fun. Yeah, and, you know, by the end of the month, we should be on another network. Yeah, that too. Mike,

pack your bags! You're coming with! I'm just kidding. I'm just joking. We're just joking. Because we had an ad read from my bookie, but then make no mistake, March Madness got shut down, so we will not get that money. Does everybody have money?

Giannis, do you have money in your account to live for the next six weeks are you good yeah i'm nice are you good i'm good right now you're good all right you got enough money what do you what do you need from us mike you need supplies to make enchiladas what do you want uh no freezer's full we're doing okay all right. Yeah, I mean, this is a time where it really is helpful. It's a helpful, helpful time to be a Greek kid because Greeks are paranoid people. That's why when you go to a Greek diner, you ever notice you can't hand the money to the waiter? You got to walk up and hand it to whatever 96-year-old Greek guy is behind the counter.

That's because we're paranoid. We don't let anyone touch our money. So for right now, I'm winning because I'm Greek and paranoid. I got lots of cash. How much cash do you have? Just let the people know. Yeah, I don't want to let the people know because that's it. I just got security cameras installed.

Try me. I got about $400 in my wallet. Is that enough? That's enough. I think that's enough for you wallet. Is that enough? That's enough. I think that's enough for you and the baby, especially because, you know. My baby's mama has scratch-offs, so that's good. She got a lot of scratch-offs. And I think if you went over to your baby mom-in-law's house for $400,

I think she's going to think that you guys got a four-year supply. Yeah, well, the thing is, what did she say? You got $400, but guess what? I got 14 Pothmoth coupons to put in there with it. Well, that's funny. It's my mother came over yesterday to disinfect the apartment I'm staying at. And then my, you know, babies, everybody was here. You know, everybody, the baby was here and baby's mama and baby's grandma.

And my mother came over and just started Clorox and everything. And then she started Cloroxing them. The thing is, we have to try to see if we can get that iranian puerto rican video back can we at least put it back up on patreon should we ask her live right now yeah you want to live on the podcast right now oh is she there yeah let's ask her this could be the end of the episode yanni can i sleep over tonight wait a second i had no idea that that was uh do you want to be on the podcast or no can i just ask you a question on the podcast you don't want to be on it? Can I just ask you a question? You can ask me off camera. Okay.

The question we want to know is, can Giannis and I put the Iranian video back up on our Instagrams? Can we do it? Whatever the fuck you want. What was that? Do whatever the fuck you want. That's a no.

This is the wildest episode we ever did. Yeah. Oh, God. I was just asked to leave. We're truly a podcast on the run. We're just on the run. Make no mistake, I may have to sleep in your shed tonight. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, you weren't lying when you said you were back

with your baby's mama. It's one of them. It's one of them. What could you do with 14? I had no idea that you were there. You're Chrissy – what did we say? You're Chrissy – Chrissy Conniptions.

Chrissy what? I mean you're Eras. What do we call them? Most people have like Eras. You have like – Oh, Chrissy – Chrissy Chapters? Didn't we call ourselves Chrissy – Didn't we call ourselves Chrissy

Eras? I mean, it's just like your life moves quick. It's just a lot of chapters. If your life was a book, it would be Ulysses. I mean, it's a

4,000 page book. You never know where the story is going to go next it's a choose your own adventure it's 4 000 pages there's a lot of chapters well cuz here's the truth of the situation is i am at i am at i am here at at my old place but it's because i'm dating her brother so i'm really with teo i mean, what you just did walking in there and doing that, I mean, is this podcast even going to be able to go up now? We'll see. We'll see what happens. Wow.

I mean, this is. Now, listen. That made me laugh. And we're going to think of some wild Patreon content now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how are we going to top this? What's going on? I mean, who else is doing a quarantine podcast?

I guarantee you, you'll see about eight of them after this. It's what it is. Stop stealing our ideas. It's what it is. Now, have you guys been exercising? What's been the exercise routine? Because I was thinking about, because Badass Academy and I are going to team up, and I'm going to start doing live exercise videos for my Instagram,

doing Instagram live every morning, exercise. That's a really good idea. Um, I haven't, uh, I haven't worked out in a week and I feel, I feel horrible. How do you, are you sick? Do you have any symptoms at all? You feel fine. I don't. I mean, most of my symptoms are mental as usual, you know, it's just, uh, it's constantly, you know, I have no symptoms now, except I feel a little worn out. Is that the coronavirus? Well, I think it's just mental. We're all mentally exhausted by this thing, you know? Yeah, and I've just had all these, I've had electricians, I got a floor guy here, I got a painter, and I had

an electrician out here. I'm getting prepared for the apocalypse, so. What do you want? Hold on. What do you want? Something to turn the bottle if you want some. Do you want what? you want? Hold on. What do you want? Something to turn the bottle into. Do you want some? Do I want what? Some wine? Um, no. Because I want to exercise first.

All right, then. Yeah. Is this a 10 out of 10? Yeah. What just happened? Just gotta yell that. Well, you know what? We got a lot of people out there that really need a lot of cheering up

and you really put your whole life on the line every time is really is really what the people put their hard earned money up for. Yeah, this this should be paid Trump, but they're getting this for free. Yeah. So they get this one for free. But this is going to be one where it's like if you want to see shit like this, we're going to start putting on the patron as this quarantine continues. Yeah. As it continues. Yeah. Yeah. Chris puts, you know Chris just spins the wheel with his well-being and his life. You're going to have to pay for that. If you think that I was wild with no quarantine, wait until I can't get outside the door.

Wait until you put me back in my cage. So right now you guys are quarantined together. I mean, that is a show right there. I mean, talk about a show. Imagine a show idea. It takes place during coronavirus, and you're just quarantined with – Are you maybe – Say it low.

I mean, that's what it is. Yeah, that's a show. Yeah, I mean, it would be funny if, like, these guys who are working at my house, if we all just got quarantined and they had to stay in here right now and I just had to live with these painters. Yeah, I mean, because make no mistake, if you don't think that we're going to write a whole season of Bay Ridge Boys while we're in this quarantine, you got another thing coming. Oh, we definitely are going to write it. Are we officially in a quarantine yet or not yet? Well, that's what I'm scared of.

Right now we're in this sort of informal where they're asking people, but now they're, I think it's going to because people, especially young people just refuse to listen. Yeah. That's an edit. Yeah. I mean, you're really cutting close. Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah, you're cutting close. And now I'm just going to drink it. He's got red wine too. I mean, you're really unwinding, huh? Yeah, I'm going to to drink it. He's got red wine, too. I mean, you really unwind it, huh? Yeah, I'm going to unwind because just like a female does, I mean, I'm a glass of red wine. I got my feet kicked the fuck up. I got my books. I got all of the books I need. We got a little Eckhart Tolle.

We have You Are Enough, The Mastery of Love, A Brief History of Time, and Blessed in the Darkness and The Power of Change Today. I got my red wine. I got this to stick in my pussy. And we're just going to be good. You got your red wine. Do you have your blood pressure machine? I forgot my blood pressure machine, but oh, cuz. Here's a nice development. I went and got a sleep study.

I went and got a sleep study. I went and got a sleep study, I went and got a sleep study. And my blood pressure is 121 over 77. I got QPP. Yeah, I mean, you're back to normal. It could be because of plants, no? I think it's because of plants.

Yeah. Did you hear what I said or no? What did you say? Mike, did you hear it? Mike? I couldn't hear it. What did you say? I said, did the squeak leave anything? Oh.

Oh. Yeah. What are we doing, man? We push it too far, no? Push it too far, yeah, but what can you do? Are we a couple kids who push it too far? We're a fucking podcast on the run, and cuz, make no mistake,

I think that the quarantine, because here's the truth, let me be honest, because I know the audio may be a little fucked up, but I know we're trying to do this from our phones, and we're doing the best we can. We will get better as this quarantine goes on, but we're here to bring people joy, people who are maybe going to get sick themselves lose someone who gets sick we're here to have a good time and have fun and just be like hey forget about the pandemic it's coming to our

world where reality is just a suggestion we'll have a good time now why are you onto the couch the phone just dropped behind the bed oh i thought you threw me under the couch i i thought i thought the mexicans were coming. No, no, no, no, no. That's – we're going to be okay. But, I mean, you could – you don't know – can you look under the chair? You don't know – squeaks the letter. Let's check.

Wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Listen, listen. He did leave his cup. Yeah. I don't know if we're going to be able to put this out. Let's put it out.

It's a pandemic. we have no choice yo yeah yeah i mean you're drinking wine it's two o'clock in the afternoon are you okay because i'm the housewife it's what it is now let me ask you because you're you're an anxious guy or how are you doing with this coronavirus are you are you nervous are you upset i'm not nervous i'm you know i'm obviously worried about i'm worried about barney rub are you upset i'm not nervous i'm you know obviously worried about i'm worried about barney rubble you know i'm worried about i'm worried about obviously his condition you know with having diabetes and all that stuff and i'm worried you know so i you know he's keeping himself you know i think i think we have to take preventative measures like although

i want him to although i want him to you know be able to see me and see the granddaughter with his health i don't think i can and also you know i just don't want i don't want to i don I want him to, you know, be able to see me and see the granddaughter with his health. I don't think I can. And also, you know, I just don't want, I don't want to, I don't want him to get too close to me because, you know, I don't know if I have credit cards laying around. I want him to gamble away his Corona funds. So, you know, so that, and then also. But if there's one thing, if there's one thing I know that even with the coronavirus and with the social spacing and the quarantine with him i'm pretty confident he's gonna find a way in it's yeah he's just gonna yeah the kid finds a way he finds a way in he always does just find a way so there's really nothing you could do

i mean i'm worried about him you know i'm worried about you know obviously my mother my you know ann eileen you know smoker so i worry about family you know, and Eileen, you know, smoker. So I worry about family because I feel like, look, if we're going to get it, we're going to get it. All the statistics say we'll beat it and we'll be OK. But of course, you know, I mean, nobody wants to get this thing. The only positive thing about getting it is they say if you get it, then you're immune to it. So that's a positive. Yeah. Now, the real I mean, are we just not going to have haircuts with Stefano's Stefano's quarantine? I mean, that's the real emergency. What am I supposed to do with my hair, with my hair?

Yeah, well, barbershops have closed now as Stefano on the three. Can we call Stefano right now? Well, like anything else, Italians are going to find a way to be criminals. Stefano said that even though they're close, he said to text him and he'll tell us where we can go get a haircut from him. He's going to do it illegally with cash. And then so is Anthony. He's going to open up badass at certain times when the cops circle the block and look. He's going to open up the gym for an hour. And he's going to have to pay him cash. So the criminals will find a way.

Italians find a way. Let me ask you a question. Is it possible for us to Skype in Stefano right now? Just ask him a few questions. Can we Skype him in? Mike, is that possible? I need his Skype information. Yeah, I don't think a kid like Stefano

has Skype. Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. Can we Skype in Benetia and check in on her? If I had her Skype. Now, because I'm hearing Zoom may be better than Skype, Mike. What do you think of Zoom? It's the same thing. Same shit? Yeah. On your end, this is working fine, Skype. Mike, what do you think of Zoom? It's the same thing. Same shit?

Yeah. Because this is working. On your end, this is working fine, right, Mike, from the studio? Yeah. It all comes down to what wireless connection you have. Yeah. Right. Right, right, right.

So we're just right next to each other. How's my quarantine here, Mike? Do I look wild? Because I can't see myself. No, you look fine all right yeah how does how's i just put the subtitles on too you can put subtitles on oh wow you don't even you don't even we don't even need to pay mikey anymore i just put the subtitles on put the subbies on now mike can you make a video can we post some of the things that have happened on our instagram and post this as a video? Yeah. Wow! Yeah.

You know, I got, because at my place, I got Wi-Fi Verizon Files, but since I'm at the Situation House, I think the Wi-Fi is Banco Popular. Well, Mike, you know when he walks into the room to when he walks into the room to say hello to the situation, you know what I have to

say about that is clip it! Clip it. Yeah. That's going to be like, if you want to see more of this, go subscribe to Bay Ridge Boys and check out the episode. Patreon.com

slash Bay Ridge Boys. Yeah. So we're just going to be recording. This is special quarantine coronavirus, Chrissy coronavirus, Yanni Yaya hair. We're just going to be recording. This is special quarantine, coronavirus, Chrissy coronavirus, Yanni Yahya hair. We're just here. We're podcasting. We don't want to let you down. We didn't we're trying to social distance. And so we did not come in today. And so we decided we would Skype this episode and you just coughed. Yeah, I've been caught. Well, because I'm drinking a little bit now.

Yeah. When somebody how long have I'm drinking a little bit now. Yeah. How long have you been drinking? Since the morning? I'm on my third glass, yeah. It's 3.15, so I may be having a little more anxiety than expected. Yeah, sometimes you do just pop open a bottle of red wine. Once in a while, I pop open a bottle of red wine. I've watched Pretty Woman now. I'm not lying to you. Since a bottle of red wine um i've watched pretty woman now i'm

not lying to you since thursday about six times i've watched pretty woman because it just calms me down um and uh and and yeah and i and i've asked the situation if we can name our new baby vivian and she said no here's the situation is you you're pretty lucky to um be i guess single-ish at the time i mean who knows because i've just been listening to fucking glee for the past four days because of because your wife i've been quarantined my wife and i've been watching fucking glee and if i had any have i had any suspicion that i may have been a gay kid i think that if i any gay that was in me has been turned straight because i've had a fucking enough of glee. Now let me ask you a question. Has your wife's truffle bosses have they canceled work finally?

The truffles that she works for? Yeah, finally, right? Yeah, but the thing is my next door neighbor's dog bit my dog and now my wife hates my next door neighbor so we got a situation. Yeah, we got a situation. Unfortunately, yeah. So you can't bite the dog. Yeah, so

listen. So what we were thinking is we were going to hire you to come up and maybe put a little Chrissy D special in the bowl. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, I know. If there's one thing I know how to do is kill a dog. Yeah, it won't be the first time you try to kill a dog. Now, how's Virgie doing with all this?

Is Virgie getting his hairline tattooed back on or is he not going to do that? How do I turn the subtitles off? I don't know. You keep just taking screenshots. Yeah, I think his hair, I think he can't get it tattooed on right now. I think everyone's,

what's going to happen? Nobody's working right now. Nobody's working. And because, honestly, we were talking about this before, but the baby not being in school, everyone nobody's what's gonna happen nobody's working right now nobody's working and because honestly we're talking about this before but like the baby not being in school like it's tough because it's like if as this goes on like a couple of these parties i'm just gonna have to bring the b-a-b-i yeah i mean we may we may be doing the next couple weeks we may be podcasting like this um via quarantine because we're not going to stop the podcast. But if you're going to come to Bay Ridge, then we can do it together, I guess.

But the problem is we don't know who's got it. That's the issue. It's like we could both have it right now and be passing, and we don't know. How wild is this that we're dealing with this? We're finally – this came out of the blue too. It just let us know how comfortable we are. I think this took a long time to register for a lot of people. Because it's such a paradigm shift you have to go through from living comfortably, doing whatever you want, to like, oh, my God, there's a pandemic.

Everyone needs to stop doing what they're doing. Everyone's business needs to go on hold. Your life needs to go on hold. This is serious. Because there's going gonna be people that commit suicide seriously a lot of old people are gonna die like a lot of people have a lot of isolation it's gonna oh i'm frozen yeah a lot of people have social isolation yeah people have conspiracy theories but you actually have a friend in italy who's let you know what it's like, right? My friend Francesco Facchinetti, who's like a famous comedian in Milan.

I did the Ultimate Beastmaster with him. Fuck that show. I did that. I did that with him. And he is saying he's been under quarantine now for whatever it's been, a week and a half, two weeks, you know, because he's in Milan, which is like the Italian epicenter. They have it the worst. And he said, you know, we're all having quarantine parties, having a lot of fun. He said, and now it's not fun anymore. People are dying. He said the church in his neighborhood,

they have to open it up to put bodies in there. So, you know, they say Italy has the oldest population in Europe and that's mostly what it is. And I do believe that. But he, according to him, I mean, there's also a 45 year old doctor in Italy who died from this. So and he was healthy. So but, you know, you got to a 45-year-old doctor in Italy who died from this, and he was healthy. Right. But you've got to understand the health – because elderly are at risk, but also the healthcare workers. If you're a healthcare worker, I just want to say thank you for your service because you're in the fucking front lines getting the highest viral dose of this disease. If you or I were to contract it, we would most likely – the reason why we would most likely beat it is because we would get a low viral dose of it because nobody who has it is coughing directly into our face most likely. Am I laying like a girl right now?

Yeah, you're laying like Joey Kamasta. Yeah. I'm comfortable like this. You're comfy. I'll lay like that too. Hold on. this. You're comfy. I'll lay like that too. Hold on. So basically, the thing is

so people know, because I think we have a good understanding that it's really just mostly people are going to die, unfortunately. People die with the flu. People die with all... Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. This is going to be a classic

epi. Mikey, make sure you got to put a gay flag over that. Put a gay flag or a peach. Can we legally put that up or we'll get flagged because I mooned somebody? You can put it on Patreon, but I blur it on YouTube.

Yeah. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to see my unedited wart filled ass that's what it is so basically the real reason is they don't want the healthcare system to collapse because people are going to die but people die with the flu

people die with everything this is easy to catch it's not that dangerous if you're healthy but if you have underlying conditions let's be honest that's probably about 70 percent of America is overweight and diabetic. Yeah, I have underlying conditions. So basically it's like this. The model that I saw is like this. They said, look, if a million people are going to get this thing when it's all said and done over the course. But you you, you know, span that out over a year, then you'll be able to save a lot more.

But it'll take a year for this thing to be gone, let's say. Whereas if a million people get it next month, so many people are gonna die. The ones who are gonna survive are probably always gonna survive. But the people who are like on the fence, who now will die, but if you spread this out, they won't die.

If you just look back to 1918 with the Spanish flu, St. Louis took the precautions and quarantined as we're doing and they had such a low level of death where philadelphia were like no fucked out we're gonna have a hoogies we're gonna go we're not doing him you can't keep it to him and a lot of people died in philadelphia philadelphia was like the epicenter of the 1918 spanish flu um so i think that's what it. And the analogy that my friend who's my daughter's godfather, who's an emergency room doctor, said to look at it like this. He said, look at the hysteria in the supermarkets. Everyone's going buying toilet paper and Purell and there's nothing

on the shelves and there's a two hour wait. He said, imagine toilet paper or ventilators or life saving ICU beds. He said, and we have a mad rush of people. He said, people are going to die. He said, it's funny to make a meme about there's no toilet paper, but it's not funny when there's no ventilator. So he said, that's why flattening the curve is so important is because if there wasn't a mad rush into the supermarket, you'd have toilet paper right now. It'd be fine. It would be, you know, you'd still maybe have a little bit of a line and there'd be, you know, he's like, he was like, Luke was like, I expect the emergency room to be more crowded than previous. But he was like, but nobody's going to die because we'll have the resources.

But if everybody if we don't quarantine and everybody gets sick at once, then we run out of beds. It's crazy to think that they it's not crazy. I guess it's comforting a little bit to think that. And I don't know if it's comforting either. But anyway, it's cool to think that they knew to quarantine back then, too. Dude, they said in the 1600s. I mean, they say Shakespeare wrote stuff. Isaac Newton, you know, came up with the theory of gravity.

Like all that stuff is when they were in quarantine from the bubonic plague. So I think it's is, is now, you know, even though, yes, we don't have a we don't have an antiviral drug that, you know, will stop this, you know, will stop this disease. You do have a you know, you take Tylenol, your fever breaks. We're back in the day, 300 years ago, like the fever alone would kill you. Right. Right. And from what I understand in Canada, they've isolated it. And I think they may have a vaccine already. It just takes about a year for the trials for them to get work out the kinks. Right. Yeah. Well, they don't have that many Trudeaus in Canada. That's why. That's what it is. There's not a lot of Trudeaus up there. So really, there's not a lot of you know, it's just a clear lane for those people to research. That's what it is. And if

you know what we're saying, then, you know, they know, you know, you know, you don't. But yes, supposedly in Canada and Canada, surprisingly, you know, a't you don't but uh yes supposedly in canada and canada surprisingly um you know a lot of people say that their health care system is bad or whatever and um the truth is they are always kind of on the front lines of pioneering a lot of medical research i mean i think open heart surgery i think that that was pioneered in canada if i'm correct. I think insulin was also discovered in Canada. Because your hair is growing back. So just FYI, it is growing back. Yeah, it grows back and then it goes away.

I'm a strange kid. It's what it is. Francis Ellis said to me the other night, we'll have him on the podcast. He's ripped. He's ripped. He's a kooky, he's about 6'5". He's kind of what the Fuhrer had in mind, unfortunately.

Yeah, it looks like that. He looks like just one of those Uber Uber men that that got that made Hitler. Is there a possibility that Hitler was just peeing a gay kid and he just went peeing for tall, blonde men? Does anyone ever think about that? That's what it is. Nobody talks about Hitler being gay. He was just trying to create more of the thing that he wanted to fucking move his monkey to. It's what it is, yeah. You know what I mean? Because if I became a dictator, yeah, I would just want to

have everyone look like Mrs. Pappas. Yeah, but the only difference is you would want them to have a penis. That's the only thing. The only thing working against Mrs. Pappas is she doesn't have the debt mrs poppins is laughing oh good because i took a swing and i was i was nervous because i'm taking my life in my hands for these jokes to the podcast mrs poppins is working right now she's she's she

has to work from home which is interesting she has to work for the truffles her and mrs bursey were talking yesterday because they both have to work from home and it was really funny listening to them talk about how it's actually harder to work from home because you have to do deadlines and things like that and me and bursey were just sitting there going like what time do you want to get coffee tomorrow 10 or 11 10 or 11 i mean because let's be honest a quarantine for most people is just the way comedians live till about noon anyway. It's just what it is. Yeah, we've always been under quarantine. Now, Mrs. Pappas and Mrs. Verzi, it's going to be nice. What are we going to have a triple date?

You got you got Mrs. Pappas laughing. Yeah, we'd like to come up. Stay away from my husband. We'd like to come up. We've made pasteles. Wait, I can't hear. The mic's off. Yeah, I think you muted it.

Oh, you muted it on purpose? Yeah, I just had to let Mrs Oh, you muted it on purpose? Yeah, I just had to let Miss Thompson know the joke. I had to let her know the joke. Yeah, no, we're just going to come up and pastel ace. We got pastel ace. Yeah, no, anytime. Anytime.

Yeah, because I'm just coming up with a few more people now well we got security cameras so we're ready for you yeah do we have because am i coming up with the allotted i don't know what the what the uh maximum number of puerto ricans i could come up into your town with this so do i have to let the governor know yeah i don't know if you i don't know i don't know if you'll be able to get into New Hampshire with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The governor of New Hampshire says no.

Yeah. Yeah. And look, we just employed another kid and that's just what we're going to do. It's just what it is. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, we missed Benetia, but patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys for more content. I'm sure we're going to hear from Patrick Mulroney and Sean Terry during this quarantine. Yeah. And then also I was thinking on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys for more content. I'm sure we're going to hear from Patrick Mulroney and John Terry during this quarantine.

Yeah, and then also I was thinking on Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, if you guys want to go sign up now. Me, the situation was talking about starting a Zumba class for the quarantine. So if you guys want to see that, we'll put that at the $5 level. Yeah, yeah. And I'll be there too, taking it. It's good that you guys got just entrepreneurial ideas for the family to make some supplemental income during this hard time.

It's what it is, yeah. Why don't you do like a combo comedy show Zumba night? I was thinking we're going to do that. I was thinking we're going to do that, yeah. Maybe you could do that at Spin XL, what's it called?

Yes, Spin FH, but they have to close. Oh, they have to close. But maybe you could start a weekly comedy show slash Zumba? Yeah, slash Zumba. Yeah, yeah. And then I was thinking about we're going to do that. Yeah, it'll be fun, and we're going to make it all ages and heights so Squeak can come.

all ages and heights so a squeak can come. Also, if you run out of masks, you posted on your Instagram a great way to make your own mask. Maybe we'll be able to post it on the Patreon. You froze. Are you still there? I'll go popular.

Yeah. Did you see while Chris froze? Were you able to see? Yeah, you froze up, but Mike, were you able to see? Chris actually posted a picture of a very, very inventive way you could create

your own quarantine mask to go over your head. He found a picture from somebody out there who had a really good idea on how to do it. No, let me take a look. You're taking a look? Hold on, I'm going to text. He probably had to take it down

by court order, but the point is we'll probably be able to get it up on Patreon at this point. Okay. Right, Chris? What? What? I said you probably had to take down the picture by court order, but we will probably be able to get the photo back on Patreon at some point

for people who are wondering what's a good way to get a face mask on for them to move around safely. Yeah, yeah. And we came up with an innovative idea, which where most innovative ideas come from, Fort Tappan and Brooklyn, New York. Because they've been working on a vaccine for this in Sunset Park.

I think that's where it's just, yeah. They said that the only, yeah, you just need a dobo and a crucifix. That's all you need. That's what I heard too. Yeah, and that's all just need a Dobo and a Crucifix. That's all you need. That's what I heard, too. Yeah, and that's all you need is a cantaloupe and those two things that you mentioned. That's all you need. You need a cantaloupe, a Dobo, a Crucifix, and you got to play Daddy Yankee,

and then COVID-19 runs the other way. And that's just what happens. Yeah, that's science right there. I mean, we've been doing a lot. We've been very science-heavy the last two episodes. We've been very science-heavy. Oh episodes. We've been very science heavy. Oh, and the ice over the shoulder, yeah. Oh, they got to throw the ice over the shoulder, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I think Squeak forgot his pass fire. Do you know the Greeks also spit over the shoulder for good luck? I mean, you're moving vegetables. You're just moving veggies. I'm moving veggies, yeah. You got to also spit over the shoulder for good luck? I mean, you're moving vegetables. You're just moving veggies. I'm moving veggies, yeah. And, yeah, you got to throw ice over your shoulder, yeah.

And throwing things over your shoulder is what works, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I got banged up last night. I had a bunch to drink, and I had some short rib, and I bought a cigar, and I'm going to go outside and smoke it right after this because quarantine's starting out fun. But by next week, we're going to be eating each other. That's what it's going to happen. That's what it is. Yeah, Mike, we're going to say, hey, we're going to be eating each other. That's what it is.

Yeah, Mike, we're going to say, hey, we're going to do the podcast in the studio, and it's going to be to eat Mike. Mike, you're going to be the first to go because you got the most meat. Okay. Have you gotten the quarantine picture of the black guy who's got the hog? Oh, yeah, that's been going around. That guy's got a nice piece.

Yeah, that's a funny, funny joke that has been going around. That guy's got a nice piece. That's a funny, funny joke that has been going around. Everyone's probably gotten it by now. Everyone wants to know who that guy is. I bet you when this is over, that guy's going to be on Ellen. Now, what are you guys going to do? What are you guys going to eat? Did you talk about the grocery store already? Have you been ordering takeout? What are you guys going to do?

Yeah, me and Mrs. Pappas have gone to the grocery store and we stocked up on food. And yeah, we've just been eating. We've been eating pretty poorly. How about you? What have you been eating? A lot of empanadas? Yeah, a lot of empanadas. No, healthy stuff.

This is a healthy household. A lot of vegan, a lot of fruits, a lot of vegetables, you know? That's true. That's true. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. So what are you going to do with your apartment now?

Should we put a studio in there too yeah we can yeah i mean me and you both got studio we both got apartments we don't use anymore yeah we could just yeah we both uh we got studios yes we got space so we got space yeah mike if you want to if the top half of you wants to live in my place and the bottom half of you wants to live in Chris's, we can make that happen. You do it the other way around? Yeah. Yeah. We can do that.

If you want to just sleep in my place one night and his the other, we can do that as well. Okay. It's what it is. Listen, guys. We got space available. Why don't we – I got to go because the baby's coughing and um i need to help i need to help with the panini outside so we're at 55 so yeah we got we're good what's that list yeah patreon.com slash bay ridge boys for extra content stay safe during this

quarantine keep checking in we will continue to do episodes whether in the studio or not the history hyenas podcast will persist we will persevere we will not be stopped and uh and yeah if you guys want to go ahead and write on the patreon wall give me some suggested baby names that'd be helpful all right i gotta go bye bye everybody patreon.com slash bay ridge boys and our our shows have unfortunately been canceled. Now I can see my quarantine hair better. I mean, my hair is looking wild. But our shows have been canceled. Our two

theater shows, Gramercy Theater, and they've been postponed, so just stay tuned. You know what it is. We're brought to you by what you would call Lakeside Maple. Lakesidemaple.com, promo code WILD. Go get a little bit of that. And we lost our sponsor.

I just want to say for the last time, salute, 9th Street Auto Collision. Thank you for your service. It was good to have you for this whole entire run. We understand, and we just want to say goodbye to you finally, and that's it. Is that it, Mike? That's it. I'm going to splice everything else in there. Okay. Thank you, Mikey. Goodbye,

everyone, and we'll see you next time. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Peace out. Chris D. Comedy, GiannisPappasComedy.com. Peace. Of course, always brought to you by Lakeside Maple. It's your trail mix. You put it up your butt. You go to LakesideMaple.com Use the promo code WILD

W-I-L-D. You get 15% off your order. That's 15% right off your order. It's an incredible snack. Put it in your oatmeal, vegetables, whatever you want to do. Kid's a great kid. 9th Street Auto Collision, Auto Repair Station, Lifetime Warranty on all repairs.

You give people good deals on parts and labor. Everybody knows their address. Do you know their address by heart, Giannis? Yeah. What is it? Not 9th Street. 133 West Hills Road, Huntington Station. You call 631-351-5300.

You get a free oil change for Yale Trump 2020. Yep. James Altucher, you just follow him at James Altucher. He's got so much money, he doesn't care. And he's got a comedy club on the Upper West Side. Then this guy, James Al Tucher. You just follow him at James Al Tucher. He's got so much money. He doesn't care. Um, so, and he's got a comedy club on the upper West side. Then this guy's a real schizophrenic. He's a new sponsor. His name's the Buckman breakdown.

He sent us about 3000 messages about rewriting the ad. I mean, you're out of your fucking mind. His name is Gareth Buckman. He's got a biweekly podcast. He analyzed the latest news in MMA economics and financial crimes. I don't know what this kid, he's got a bachelor's degree in sports and exercise science and master's in financial planning. If you want an in-depth analysis of strategic, athletic, and anthropomorphic attributes of the biggest MMA fights,

subscribe to the Buckman Breakdown. I mean, I don't know how that's a business. If you want an insider's look into global economic events and international financial crime, I don't. Subscribe to the Buckman Breakdown. I mean, you're out of your fucking mind, kid. Follow him at, oh, he's also a professional photographer,

because why the fuck not? I mean, this kid can do everything. MMA fights, financial analysis, fucking photographer. I'm sure he does stand-up. He's probably got a special. He probably banged my ex. Yeah. At Gareth Buckman.

Yeah. G-A-R-E-T-H-B-U-c-k-m-a-n and thank god that's over clip it clip it and then of course we got theo's feta cheese who tried to swindle out of some money because he's a fucking dirtbag from brooklyn but he's got feta cheese that's natural milk cow milk and it's got salt and probiotics and whatever the fuck else he's probably lying about but it's got b vitamins and calcium it's great for muscle bone and health and getting jacked it's cow's milk feta not sheep or goat's milk it's naturally lower in fat he was born and raised in brooklyn new york uh it's all it's available to the public for two years and it's already kicking the national brand's ass

you can purchase theos at your local key food big y-Town, Super Fresh, Bozudos, any fucking store. But really just get it on Amazon. And the website is TheosFeta.com. That's T-H-E-O-S-F-E-T-A.com. TheosFeta.com. Whatever you got on here. Thank you. Bye.