History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 135 - Jeff Dye is WILD!

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

Jeff Dye came in studio last December and make no mistake some WILD things were said! They compare Chrissy and Jeff's track record but just go wild. Also we get Jeff a new nickname!   Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? history hi he knows uh it's chrissy d yanni p we got a guest today jeff die who if you don't think it's going to get kissed on the lips by the time this thing is over, you got another thing coming. You're a fucking stone cold cutie. I knew where I was walking in. You said if you think. If you don't think he's not going to get kissed.

If you don't think he's going to get kissed. No, I said if you don't think he's not going to get kissed on the lips. You missed the don't. If you think he's not going to get kissed on the lips, you got another thing coming. I didn't want anyone to be confused. I'm trying to say that I'm going to kiss him on the lips and I'm going to suck his dick.

There you go. I knew where I was walking into. But suck his dick. Yeah, there you go. I knew what I was walking into. But listen, listen, but honestly, that's the last curse of this hour. We're going to do this next hour clean because I'm trying to be the next Nate Bargatze. Oh, there you go. Just be clean because that's what the secret is. That's what it is. You got to just be clean.

The good thing about doing this podcast is I can say anything I want about any one of my friends because I'll beat the shit out of all of them besides Brendan Schaub, Joe Rogan, Andrew Schultz because he has quick hands, and Dove Davidoff is a boxer, and then who else can beat us up? Jeff Dye. Jeff Dye is a tall drink of water.

I'm a sleeper, though. That's what people don't think. He's got the reach on you, and plus you got slow hands. I got slow hands, but I got a big, fat lunch lady ass that if I can get her to behind it, I can just crack some skulls. Oh, Brian Callen can beat me up. Yeah.

Yeah. Because those guys are the martial arts. And now the fucking kid Kumail Nanjiani is jacked. Yeah. And nobody's beat me up because I shoot for the body and I bite. That's a body shot bite move. I'm a biter. Two hits.

Giannis bites. And he's like a little, he likes to play his weird where he does the mind tricks. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's gold dust. He's Dennis Rodman. Yeah. Does it have to be cackled? No, no, it's actually, it's, I like I didn't say the word. I made it. Hey, don't be scared. You should be trademarking that shit.

It'd be shirt merch. Yeah, because I'm not meaning that in a negative way. Gay tree. Yeah, gay tree. Exactly. It's not gay. It's Exactly. I like the way you try to market it. I'd buy a sweatsuit. That's a good merch right there, baby. Hell yeah, dude. Speaking of merch,

historyhahinez.com. We got some new merch on Teespring but it's changing. With Jeff Dial. The Truffle Pig's going to give us a new store online if he's not fired by the new year. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Well, let's welcome our guest. Let's talk about this setting. Yeah. Yeah, the setting stinks. What the fuck's going on in here? Yeah, they got new tables and they stink. Bobby, listen, we're like the Mariah Carey of this network right now because we're the biggest. Get this shit in order or we're getting out of here.

Next time I'm on here, I don't want to be in fucking front of a ladder. What's happening? What's a ladder? Yeah. You don't bring a fucking big star like Jeff Dye here and bring him into a construction site. What the fuck is going on here? What's going on? I know it's not Bobby's fault. It's 800-pound gorillas. Yeah. I mean, 800-pound gorilla? Get your shit together. Was that named after Bobby? Yeah.

Could have been. There you go. Take that, Bobby. Just kidding. I don't want... He's not going to take it out on you. He'll take it out on Zach. Good. Yeah. Yeah. I'd love Bobby.

We got to be ready to say whatever we want because we don't give him any money. Yeah. We're just making money off our Patreon. Thanks to the fans. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We're untouchable. Now, you want to know what? My prostititis feels a lot better.

Yeah. BTW, I'm in a good mood because I finally just, my prostititis is in a good place. Well, let's just talk about what me and Jeff Dye have in common. Yeah. Yeah. We both are cute, handsome kids. We both hate marriage. We both hate marriage.

Well, I'm married. That's why I said it. Yeah. Are you married, too? No. Oh, yeah. Well, we both have we hang out with a kid from Ridgewood constantly. Yeah.

That is a that is that's a situation a lot of time. Oh, yeah. Daily, nightly. Yeah. You must hear the f word a lot yeah but i was already saying it yeah there you go no but randy but the thing is that randy he's a smart kid he went to brown university he's a smart jack kid he was never hanging out like with fuzzy was he was a bear he wasn't really hanging out in the park oh so he got he's an ivy league kid yeah so

he got called yeah but he was the thing is what randy is he's an interesting cat because he's such a smart kid and he's a ridgewood kid, but he's fucking jacked. Yeah. He was always jacked. Yeah. So you couldn't really say anything to him, even though he was being an F word if he's going to Brown. Yeah. Yeah.

But you couldn't say anything. He smokes a shit ton of weed and then goes and works out. It's the weirdest thing. I've never seen people behave. He's always burping. He's a weird guy. Well, let me ask you this. I love him.

Does he live in LA now or Boston? He's been at my house for months. Yeah, but he's living in L.A. full time. Yeah. But the thing about him that you said he's a situation. He's ready to go. He almost beat up a door guy last night at this bar down here. Unbelievable.

You could take the kid out of Ridgewood. He does a little blow. What can you do? He does a little blow. Oh, yeah. And he treats the whole world like it's the neighborhood of Queens. Should we cackle that? I mean, the kid doesn't want the world.

No. I mean, I think it's a multimillionaire. He made a big thing in tech. I don the neighborhood of Queens. Should we cackle that? I mean, the kid doesn't want the world knowing. I mean, I think the kid's a multimillionaire. He made a big thing in tech. I don't think he gives a fuck. And we're back. Yeah, he doesn't care. I think the kid made a big sale. He does coke.

Randy Valero does coke. He's no care. Well, keep it in. There it is. I mean, it's a thing. It's for the world. I thought, you know, you guys are the fearless ones. You do a little blow, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, well, you're his boss, so you can say whatever you want. That's right. Daddy's in charge. Yeah, that's right're his boss, so you can say whatever you want. That's right. Daddy's in charge. Yeah, that's right. But he treats the whole world like it is your guys' neighborhood. Yeah. He just, he doesn't care

if he's in a church. He's like, well, what the fuck is she wearing? You're like, Randy, this isn't how the rest of the world operates. No, I know. Does he vote like

the neighborhood he's from? To the right? I don't think he, I don't know. I don't think he can vote. He's probably a felon. Yeah. Yeah.

Because his neighborhood is- Ridgewood is the right, firmly to the right. The R't think he, I don't know. I don't think he can vote. He's probably a felon. Yeah. Yeah. Because his neighborhood is Ridgewood is the right. Firmly to the right. The R in Ridgewood stands for right. Yeah. They go, they definitely vote Trump. It's what it is. Yeah. A lot of guys have been making great decisions lately. Yeah. Chris's mom's hand goes like this in the voting booth. Yeah. It goes, it goes to the

left to get a Sam Adams and then to the right to go right. Yeah. I mean, you can say whatever you want about Randy because you're his boss and we can say whatever we want about Mike because he's our Mexican day laborer. It's what it is. Is Vanity here? That is true. She is? Okay, let's hear it. She's coming up now?

Who's here? No, it's Robot Vanity. I brought Yaya's cookies. That's our producer. Who's a piece who my other friends from Ridgewood touch her hair and makes her uncomfortable. Why isn't she in here? I gotta look at all you ugly guys. Mike, get's our producer. We've got a producer who's a piece who my other friends from Ridgewood touch her hair and makes her uncomfortable. Why isn't she in here? I've got to look at all you ugly guys. Mike, get the wig on.

You're going to be Venetia. You're like, she's a piece and she's nowhere to be found. She's a piece. If she was here, she wouldn't be paying attention. She'd want to bang Jeff Dye out. No, he's the wrong color. Guys, I think Jeff Dye is the only kid who can compete with you as far as putting up numbers. You guys are the Sammy Sosa and Mark Aguirre of fucking first.

Yeah, well, the thing is. Doing cycles because you did one, but also banging check. Yeah, well, I'm on the injured list right now. Who's Mark Aguirre? I mean, Mark Aguirre. What did I say? Mark Aguirre. I got my pistons and my fucking, I got my sports confused and my races.

I love it. Mark Aguirre was up for the pistons. Because Mark Aguirre and Sammy Sosa were two kids who liked doing a couple cycles. It's what it is. And now Sammy Sosa is just a white woman. He's just a white woman. What can you do? Yeah.

Yeah. But he, I think he votes right too. You should go easy on him. I would imagine. Yeah. He's been just trying to be like us, baby.

That's right. He's trying to be white. You've been single this whole time, right? Yeah, my whole life. Seriously, you never had a GF.

I don't want to do it. It's fucking amazing. Yeah, but it's great because people think it's like some mystical thing. It's like, you know, you don't have to do all the stuff you complain about all the time. Seriously, you never had a GF? I don't want to do it. It's fucking amazing. Yeah, but it's great because people think it's like some mystical thing. It's like, you know, you don't have to do all the stuff you complain about all the time. Right. Do you bang raw daddy or do you glove up? Well, I shouldn't talk about this, but yeah, raw.

Hell fuck yeah, dude. Because guess what? I'm not hooking up with homeless ladies. Yeah. I hook up with people that get their privates checked. I get my privates checked and we have sex with each other. Take a tip from that, Chris. Absolutely.

Yeah. What's your secret? Yeah, well, everyone acts like I'm hooking up with like pirates or something. and we have sex with each other. Take a tip from that, Chris. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. What's your secret? Yeah, well, everyone acts like I'm hooking up with like pirates or something. No, these are... Yeah. That's what Chris likes. Yeah.

Yeah. I think you guys don't compete in the... You guys don't compete in the same pools. We got different pools. Yeah, you got different pools. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is.

Yeah, you pick up your pools in different places than he picks up his pools. It's what it is. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Pools. Yeah. Yeah. What it is. Yeah. You pick up your pools in different places than he picks up his pools. It's what it is. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's no gas. Yeah. So, yeah.

No, the thing is, Jeffy Dye, first of all, I've known JD. Actually, I've, in 2008 or 2009, when I first started considering comedy, it was when you were doing the last comic standing. Yeah. And the girl I was dating at the time, she loved you. Oh, that makes me happy. Absolutely. And I was like, I fucking like this guy. Yeah. And the girl I was dating at the time, she loved you. Oh, that makes me happy. Absolutely. And I was like,

I fucking like this guy. He's a funny kid. And then I was like, oh, maybe I want to do comedy. But then I didn't do it for a couple more years. But that's what I remember. I was like,

oh, we've been following you since then. And then we became friends. Yeah. And then, yeah. We had you on Money from Strangers. You crushed it. Fuck yeah, dude. Mike Cannon.

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But I've actually tasted the cheese. It's actually fantastic. It's actually fantastic. And it helps you get jacked. It is really good. But I've actually tasted the cheese. It's actually fantastic. And it helps you get jacked. It is really good. Mike almost went into a seizure before, and he just took a bite of Theo's feta cheese, and now he's fucking ripped. Theo's, it's cow milk

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at amazon.com and even more important go to theosfeta.com t-h-e-o-s-f-e-t-a.com get your cheese honest notice it's like there's not even a comedy show on anymore like what's a comedy show that's like does well now like i mean i know jokers are still on but like even like the networks modern family. That's so bad. It's like every show now is a fucking huge production. Yeah. Like an Amazon Prime or Netflix show. I mean, there's million dollar budgets like just to sit down comedy show like everybody loves Raymond. It doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, it just doesn't. Because certainly Nate Bargatze's pilot didn't go. So that's not on the air either. That's not on the air either. But he's, yeah, so what can you do?

Your milkshake. What was, yeah. How did his show not do well? It's hard to get a sitcom picked up. Who would want to watch a sitcom anyways? They're all dog shit. I think he's just a little late. I think otherwise it would have gone on. Like if John Mulaney's failed.

Right. You know, like he's much a smart writer. Like if you can't make that formula work, that formula is broken. Yeah, it doesn't. It does. I had a sitcom pilot and, you know, it was OK, but it was just like I knew it wasn't going to go. I mean, we all just and the things that they picked up. It's all like horse trading. They only pick up things that they can make money off of.

It's not about the best thing. It's all business choices. I just don't understand the business model. It's like it's like they make 10 pilots spend $3-4 million a pilot to only maybe use one or two. It just all feels like wasted money. It's an old system that's still running, but it's an old system now because it used to be you'd make money on the shows that went into syndication and you'd recoup all that cost from the pilots.

But now with subscription T, first of all, HBO knocked them out first and they still didn't adapt because HBO makes more money than all the networks combined just because they don't waste money on pilots. They don't have a pilot system. They look at something, they shoot one and they still,

we're going to do this show. Right. Right. So they only have to, they don't have to bow to advertisers. Now Netflix is subscriber digital and it's blown the whole system out of the way and that they're still doing it is wild. They're like, guys, I remember reading Bernie Brillstein's book a while ago and he was saying

this. He was saying that book like at the beginning of HBO. He's going like this system is going to collapse. Right. It's not sustainable. It's like what we're talking about before this, though, right? Don't you think? Like you were saying, like podcast.

This is what you guys like to do. Podcasting is what sells tickets and what people enjoy. Yeah. And I'm my agent. I say, hey, my agent. He signed. We banned from here, by the way. Yeah. Who's not allowed to come into the studio. Which I thought was hilarious. Yeah. On my agent, I say, hey, my agent, he signed Drew. Who we banned from here, by the way.

Yeah, who's not allowed to come into the studio. Which I thought was hilarious. Yeah, you're like, Christian, I know what the fuck's going on. You can't come in. We're getting wild in here.

Yeah, we don't have bleachers. Yeah, what the fuck? By the way, who hangs out with their agent? We barely have tables. Is he a nice guy? Oh, he's a great guy. He's really good.

But anyway, I'm never in New York and so he was excited that I'm in New York. What I was going to say is I said to my manager, Hey, you got Drew Carey. I'd love to have him on my podcast. This is how out of touch the industry is. They go, Ah, we don't mess with podcast stuff.

We don't. Oh, really? Oh, the most popular thing that's happening, right? Like the next movement of like... I know. Because guess what? If my podcast... Fucking stupid. It is. If my podcast... Thank you, computer. If my podcast ever gets as big as Joe Rogan's, I bet my agency's going to start dealing

with five of them. Oh, they will. Oh, a little 10%. Oh, they will. They weren't paying attention to us at all, and then Gramercy happened, and we sold out Gramercy, and now they were calling us both. What's going on? Yeah, guys. Love it yeah we've been listening yeah love what you're doing love it oh my gosh

that last episode oh what was it about keep doing what you're doing yeah the one you did about comedy you guys were making jokes I love what you guys are doing yeah yeah yeah even like they'll get yeah even like doing like these weekends where like we go or Thursday Friday Saturday and some comedy club in a mall.

It's like, is that working anymore? It's like, I'd rather go to L.A., do your podcast, do the other guy's podcast, come back with actual fans. Sure. And then go to the markets where people want to hear from me. Absolutely. And sell the tickets and I'll make this more money and be more fulfilled and spend less time away from my family. It's like we're so conditioned to just think, oh, I have to go to do every improv. I have to do this.

No, you don't. I don't want. They couldn't believe like my agents're so conditioned to just think, Oh, I have to go to this. Like, no, you don't want, they couldn't believe like my agents couldn't believe some of the things I've said no to. It's like, I will be a better human being, not fucking having to go there to that place, not sell tickets.

Probably miss my kid. I can just stay at the comedy seller, do my podcast, make money from the fans of patrion.com slash pay rich boys. Thank you. And just live a life. But the agents don't want to hear that because they're not making money. Right. That's the real reason they, comedy seller do my podcast make money from the fans of patreon.com slash pay rich boys thank you and just live a life but the agents don't want to hear that because they're not making money right that's the real reason they're not into it is because they don't know how they don't know how to get in on it yet they haven't figured out how to get in there to be relevant yet yeah yeah it's

one that doesn't attract the most creative types so they're like mad we're deviating from the system but hey how are they getting creative and wiggling out of this? Yeah, I know most of actually most of not most. I know two very successful peers of mine in our business that don't. There's fired their managers very amicably. But like, I don't need you anymore. It's like I have my agent who books the gigs and everything else I can do. I mean, I'm putting controlling my own Instagram. I'm booking my own flights.

I'm telling my patron. You know what I like about that moment that just happened? Yeah. You've given away every name. You've said too much in every other aspect we've done on this podcast. But you named two comedians. You left them nameless to protect them during that contract? During that contract because-

You guys know what I'm talking about? I do not fuck with the Fuhrer. Okay? So if the Fuhrer told me not to mention his name, the Fuhrer's name will not be mentioned. Because make no mistake, if you hear Fuhrer, I think So if the Fuhrer told me not to mention his name, the Fuhrer's name will not be mentioned. I think you know who he is. I think you know who I'm talking about. And he does cocaine too, like

Randy Valerio. No, he doesn't, but he wears wild shirts to get clicks in his sold-out theater. So you'll say that, but you won't say his name. You figure it out. Yeah, I mean, he said his family has tried to take legal action against him. He'll say anything.

He said things to me that we had to cackle out about my private life. But it was funny with that. He said to two comedians who will remain nameless. Yeah. Fired their manager. Yeah. Well, open group of shorts. I will support you.

There you go. Yeah. Talk about Andrew Schultz. Yeah. Yeah. And you gave him a one. Huh? Who's the second one?

You said I just made up a second one to take the heat off because you're a liar. What is it? It's not. Okay. C.W.A. Chris. Yeah. You lie a lot.

I love it. You know, Andrew Schultz. I got a good Andrew Schultz. Andrew Schultz is the fucking man. Just if you could talk about him, just know if you say anything about him, you're going to throw you out the window. He's the key to our success. I love him.

No, but I do. I wonder if he'll remember this moment. I love him. No, but I do. I wonder if he'll remember this moment. So I'm at MTV and and I've just at my fucking wits end with my career. Even you told me a story once that like you went to an audition at MTV where I worked at the time. And they're running auditions going, we're looking for a Jeff Dye type. And you're like, dude, just call Jeff Dye.

They're already trying to fucking replace me. Yeah. With someone who's like me because I might be at my wits end. Why? Just like, fuck this industry. I'm doing what I want. I'm saying what I want. I'm going to play this out. I'm going to fuck who I want. I'm doing all those things.

I'm not marrying or dying. I'm fucking living a Jeff Dye life from now on. Right. And I'm in this room, and they're making me do some bullshit photo shoot for girl code, which I didn't want to be on girl code. I auditioned to be on guy code and like, you'd be great for girl code. Yeah, boy. They're like, you're a gay boy. Yeah, exactly. That's what they did. They looked at me. Yeah, they're like, he's in the closet. Let's put him on girl code.

So I'm in this room and I'm losing my mind. Andrew Schultz is also in the room and there's like some other people who pretended to be comedians you know and someone comes in and I go I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck about this I don't give a fuck about that like I'm saying in front of some of the people that work at MTV I also popped off about how Robin Williams was a fucking joke thief and I don't care if he killed himself

he fucking stole jokes and so I'm saying this and Andrew Schultz literally said to me dude I don't know what like you've got planned or in your career, what you're working on, but you that you you shouldn't be talking like this or you like what you're doing is very, very risky. And now he's like this whole thing. Well, he figured it out. Yeah. Figured out.

Yeah. Fucking he cracked the code. You know, he's like, well, yeah, this is he's the impractical jokers of Jeff Dye. But isn't it interesting? But isn't it fascinating? Jeff Dye's thing. It says, well, this is he's the impractical jokers of jeff die what is it what is it a fast jeff dies thing it says well no it's not my thing it's like their people have been losing their goddamn minds and just getting sick of shit for so long and he wasn't there yet but now that's his whole right right right right right well because i think right absolutely now it just gets to a point where it's like i think eventually the industry will figure out a way how like we

can't keep growing like they'll somehow cap YouTube or somehow they'll figure it out. But it's not there yet. So while it's like this wild, wild west, like what we're doing is way from the shitty fucking Ikea. But in a weird way, it's reverse psychology, too, where like now all these networks want Schultz and all these networks want Tim Dillon just because Tim Dillon doesn't want to do the shit. Right. I mean, it's the second that your code breaks where you go, go fuck and i can't anymore because they are not letting me into the little groups all the groups go hey hey right i want to be over at netflix you go fuck it like what right i wanted to be on netflix you waited till i lost yeah but you know what happens though is is that's the thing is like you know you use that as motivation right to like get what you want somebody slided you blah blah by the time they want you yeah you are already in place. You won't need them.

Not that you won't need them, but you probably will work them because you don't care anymore. The anger. You use the anger. You farted? Yeah. You used the anger. Hey, let's switch mics. I want to get a whiff of that. Does it smell like something's burning here or am I having a stroke? Does it smell like something's on fire? There's no oxygen in here.

Either that or I'm having signs of a stroke. No, dude, there couldn't be a fire in here. This well-designed studio. Yeah, there's a fire in here. It's called you two are hot guys. Yeah, we're fucking hotties with bodies, and I'm going to fuck Mike in the ass. Yeah.

For you. Like it's deliverance. Where else would you fuck him? Yeah, that's the only place he's got. And it'd be hard to find him. Let's be clean for the rest of this. Yeah, let's just be funny in the zone where we're not dropping. Let's just be honest.

Andrew Schultz said that to you. And Nate says what he says, because they just like telling people what to do. Right. That's just part of their personality. That was a mistake. I like being told what to do. I'm a little slut. Yeah.

Yeah. What it is. Do you want to talk about Bigfoot or no? Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah. Do you want to talk about Bigfoot or no? Yeah. Whatever you want. Yeah. We weren't going to talk about Jackie Robinson, but then our producer said three white guys can't talk about breaking down

the color barrier. And I, how about Bigfoot? I do what I want. Yeah. I'll talk about Jackie. Talk about Jackie Robinson. Talk about it.

And then we'll lighten up with Bigfoot. It's hilarious. It's hilarious that baseball was like, we're not going to play with, they're all fucking better than us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they just geniusly were like, we're not going to play with. They're all fucking better than us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So they just geniusly were like, no, only white people. Yeah. That will be the best baseball players of white people. Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard? It's hilarious. It's really that's a good strategy. That's a good strategy to remain an all star. That helps the numbers, doesn't it?

That they're just like, no, no, no, no, no. And then they knew they're the better physically and stronger and bigger. And they go, no, that's no, no, no. And then they knew they're the better physically and stronger and bigger. And they go, no, that's a no. This is just a different thing. I think about how many American white guys there are in the NBA. Three over the last like 50 years. I think it's been three. Yeah.

It's all the dirty euros. Looks like a Bruce Willis film. Yeah. They always yeah. They always talk about the color barrier being broken. But that's kind of an understatement. It's sort of like the color barrier has been usurped. Yeah.

Yeah. There's one color now and the other one's gone. Yeah. There's no it hasn't beenement. It's sort of like the color barrier has been usurped. Yeah. Yeah. There's one color now and the other one's gone. Yeah. There's no, it hasn't been broken. It's been taken over. I don't want to see an all white team anyway. When are they going to let whites break the color breaker barrier in the NBA? When are they going to let them happen?

Yeah. Where's the diversity in the NBA? Yeah. Yeah. I went to, I had an Oprah. He's a really good guy. His name's John Bruton. Bruton.

Sorry. John Bruton. And he said to me in a car, we're driving, he's a black kid, very, very funny, great comic out of Cleveland. That's African-American. I'm just telling you that he's a black.

Yes, we're going to have to tackle that out. He's living on the edge. Yeah. For the story, you need to know that he's a black guy. Okay. And he goes, you know that my dad used to play,

or my uncle used to play in the Negro Leagues. And I turned to him, I will never miss an opportunity for a joke. I go, your dad played in the NBA? I thought he was going to crash the car and fucking kill me. But I got a good laugh out of it. Yeah, fucking. I mean, well, look, the truth is, is like, did you play hoops?

You're a tall drink of water. I was a late bloomer. But I'm better at basketball now than I would have been when I was young. What was your sport? Baseball. Nice. Did you play high school college? No, I sucked. I was such a late bloomer. And I'm like, if you watch me play now, you would have been when I was young. What was your sport? Baseball. Nice. Did you play high school or college? No, I sucked. Right. I was such a late bloomer. And I'm like, if you watch me play now, you'd be like, I bet he used to play.

But I didn't. I was like a little weak. Because you got into, when you were doing Last Comic Standing, you must have been in your early 20s. 43. So it's just like you got a break early on, national exposure. And all I had was like a good 15. So that's a perfect show when you only have a good 15.

No, but that was a point in 2008 because there was no social media and shit like that. You would go and your tickets were sold out for you. It was awesome. Yeah. But also you're right about what you said earlier about like – and Jordan Peterson talks about this too. He's like if nobody's listening to you, stop talking to them. If they're not listening, stop talking to that group. Find who – find your circles

and like if you're in Des Moines Iowa trying to force these people who have no interest in you at all just stop yeah it's like I listen I want to diversify and get out there but it's like right now New York Boston Philly they listen to what I have to say so I'll go there yeah I'll go those are your people much money I appreciate that they appreciate me it's like I'm trying to get into these other markets but I'm not going to go sit waste my life for a fucking weekend to try to see if some city off the side of a highway cares about me i'll know they care about me when you put a you know put a small theater on well and they sell it that's a mistake we were all making for a while it was like we were all because yeah now everything is niche it's like so we were a lot of us were spending our time trying to cater to like the woke kids

that a lot of these other comedians have. But it's like those kids were never going to listen to this. I like it. I'm not going to like it anyway. So it's like there was this whole other market of people, which I call the majority, which is the majority, which were just being ignored. It was like the whole industry started catering to like three neighborhoods. Yeah. It was like Williamsburg, whatever fucking Pike Park in L.A. and the city of San Francisco. It's like that's four% of this entire nation.

You know who else did that? What's that one guy? Trump. Yeah, another guy who did that is Donald Trump. He goes, wait, all these? They'll all vote? Yeah, what you guys are doing is working. Look what just happened in Australia, England,

and Trump's going to win again. Keep going. Ban all the straws. It's working. Yeah. It's not fucking working, you dumb idiots. Fucking stupid. I'm not worried that one lesbian

writer for the new york times might not like me yeah well we just make our own reviews now that's a new thing that journalism has shot itself on the foot so much now yanni just writes our reviews from the bathtub and we're getting book left and right because we're getting we're getting written about by the new york but that's a big mistake that the left is making in all these countries genius he's a hard tough, but he's a genius. I'm a tough hang. Yeah. I'm a long day.

Yeah, we had a talking today at the gym. Yeah, we had a talking today at the gym. I had to tell him, Yanni, you're hurting my feelings. You said, you got to stop saying that to me. Yeah, and it was funny. But that's what friends do. They talk real. Absolutely.

I appreciate it. That is a nice spin of insults, isn't it? Hey, friends, do this. We do it, yeah. We say you're a fat piece of shit. Great point, because it's like, if you want to go and have a hard time with your friend or talk about something really personal,

just go to a gym in Brooklyn and talk in the middle of the gym floor because everyone's got their headphones on. It's the most private place. You could plan. Blasting music, and we were talking about in-depth feelings around all these meatheads

that were just blasting fucking Calvin Harris in their headphones. You didn't hear a word we said. I think 9-11, they planned it at a gym. Yeah. Because if you want to do an act of terrorism, the most private place to talk is a gym. It's a gym.

Because everyone's listening to techno music in Bay Ridge at least. That's what they're doing. It's the safest place to say the N-word. Yeah, it's the safest place to say the N-word. Well, no. And if they're head-butting me. They don't care. They're still anywhere.

Not that I'm proud of this, but in Bay Ridge, it's like you say the N-word, you'll get a free slice of pizza. That's why it's safe. That's what I'm saying. When you song she ain't. Can I tackle that? I'm not proud. No, it's not proud.

It's not a proud thing. I'm not proud of it. It's character piece. Yeah, it's character. That's what I'm saying. When you song she ain't. Can I tackle that? I'm not proud. No, it's not proud. It's not a proud thing. I'm not proud of it. It's character piece. Yeah, it's character piece. Not with everybody. That's a fun question. When's the last time you said the N-word? I don't say it.

I actually don't say it. I really don't say it. You guys are so foolish. I know. When's the last time? They all just, they're so afraid. I don't. I came in and he goes, we don't give a shit.

You're so afraid. No, no, I don't. That one, I actually don't say that. No, he texts it. He doesn't say it. Yeah! When's the last time you texted it? I haven't texted it in a while. A couple minutes ago! No, I'm joking. I'm totally joking. Totally joking. No, we don't say any slurs on this. I don't say slurs because my kid is half

Puerto Rican, so I can't use that one. Oh, yeah, yeah. The N-word is just something that, like, you know, I would hear people say, I'm like, I don't like the one. I have said Asian slur. But that's... What do you want me to do? I let that fly, but I'm getting... I don. But that's... What do you want me to do? I let that fly, but I'm getting... What do you want me to do is a great retort. I don't say that anymore.

But hey, what do you want me to do? I don't say that anymore. But our characters do say it all the time. Our characters, that's the thing. I said it, but it's really our characters. Yeah, we're a couple of firefighters from the outer boroughs. A lot of 14. Yeah, that's what it is.

We're a lot of 14. We're sitting here with a good, funny skit kid. This kid does a lot of good skits. His name's Jeff Dye. Jeff Dye's a good skit. He's from fucking L.A. or wherever the fucking Democrats are from. We fucking make those kids. That's what it is.

And this fucking kid, yeah, he had a real show before these fucking kids from Staten Island took his fucking show. Yeah. So true. And he's a good kid. If you're white, you're going to like this comic. That's right. Yeah.

How's your wife? Yeah. And he's a good- And a fucking wife, too. The kid's a good-looking fucking kid. I'll tell you that right now. And he's a good-looking fucking handsome fucking kid. He's got good looking fucking kid. And he's a good looking fucking handsome fucking kid. He's got about five years left before he loses his looks.

That's what's going to happen. Right now, he's still fucking cute as a boy. Let's jump cut five years from now. I'm here with hair plugs, still holding on. Remember when I had Hall of Fame numbers? I think you'll rock the Terry Bradshaw actually. Yeah, Terry Bradshaw. That would be great. I could do that. Yeah, no, you're a handsome fucking handsome kid. Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

Ain't that the pot calling the kettle black, though? You guys are two good-looking kids. We would be such a power couple. You'd be a fucking... You guys as a tag team... As a gay couple? If you tagged each other in and out, or as a gay couple, it would be a power couple.

But if you guys went hunting together... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost a... No fumare. That's almost like... That's almost like A.D. and LeBron James teaming up in Los Angeles. Or the Bash Brothers of pussy. Exactly.

Splash Brothers of pussy. Yeah, I'm still on the injury list, but once I get off it. Yeah, he's injured right now. What can you do? He's got a swollen prostate. You know, one time I went and surprise visited him. I just happened to be in the same town as him, and I popped over to this comedy club in Tampa.

Real great place. And he was headlining. But he was like all married up at the time. Well, that's because that was literally that weekend my future baby mama had come down to tell me she was pregnant with the babes. Hi, Chris. Listen, I took

a flight all the way here. I flew on Spirit Airlines. I put it on your credit card. But I put it on your credit card. Is that okay? But listen, I got news that's going to affect the whole family. So I need you to put myself to that flight to tell you that, Chris, we having a baby. You nutting me, stupid. You did. What happened was I got pregnant again.

Yo. Yeah, that's it. Well, I came down here to visit relatives anyway because we in Florida and I'm Puerto Rican. So there's about 18 people I'm related to down here. Is this the face of fear again? Yeah, that's it. That's the only person people I'm related to. Is this the face of fear again? Yeah. That's the only person I live in fear of. It's the situation. Now this is the question we got you on the podcast we want to ask you.

Have you ever gotten chlamydia? Yes. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's just a little drip. It happens. I've had it like four times. Yeah. Which over my whole life and that's not... What did you do? You took a couple of pills? Yeah. It's what you do. In fact, my doctor's way too optimistic. He's like, you can even ignore it. It'll go away, but you can't have sex.

I was like, give me the pills. Yeah, you can ignore it. It'll go away. If you can go through your whole life. The doctor says, Jesus, ignore it. What the fuck? What a weird guy. No permanence.

So you're good. No, nothing permanent. No pregnancy scares. Nothing. No pregnancy scares. Interesting. Why? Just pull out.

But let me just his doctor. Can you do like, could it go away on its own? Eventually, yeah. But how did you know you even had it? How did you know you even had it? Burning piss? No. Oh, hey, you know, last time I had it, a girl called me because she thought she was pregnant.

And so she's like, you're going to have to go get me a pregnancy test. And I was like, dude, this has never happened to me. Like, this is, I'm not letting this girl ruin my life. I'm like considering murder. I'm like this. I'm not letting anybody take this life. I've got a great life. Yeah.

And she's a threat to this now. So I get the pregnancy test to drive. I'm trying to be real nice. I'm saying, hey, have you ever thought about this? Like what you would do if you got pregnant? Would you want to have the baby? Or would you do you believe in it? But, you know, I'm having all these conversations with her.

And then she goes, God, I hope that you just gave me chlamydia. I was like, wait, wait, wait, what? And she goes, I'm hoping that I'm not pregnant and that you just gave me chlamydia. I was like, wait, wait, wait, what? And she goes, I'm hoping that I'm not pregnant and that you just gave me chlamydia. And I was like, wait a minute. If you have chlamydia, does that give you the signs or whatever that makes you think you might be pregnant?

Yeah, what is she talking about? Yeah, I was like, is that a thing? She goes, yeah, I could either be pregnant right now or maybe I have chlamydia or something. And that's why I'm late, my period's late. And I was like, I just started praying for chlamydia. I was like, oh God. And that's all it was. started praying for chlamydia. And that's all it was. And it was chlamydia. And we celebrated.

We drank all night. And then you take pills. What do you get? You get a shit. She wasn't celebrating. We should note that. It was me and my friends. I was like, I didn't get her pregnant. Drinks on, Jeffy. As soon as I finish this cycle of antibiotics, I'll drink. And they were like, don't have it.

It's not bad. Don't you just take antibiotics for a day? Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. And they go, just don't have sex for a week. And I was like, I bet they're being caught.

It's like a high ankle sprain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can get over it. Yeah. It's, it's better than a high,

high ankle sprain. Yeah. It's yeah. It's like, um, have you guys ever gotten it? I got the clap. Yeah.

Yeah. Chlamydia. But I never, that's all I ever got. One of our peers, one of our peers, one of our peers went old school, got syphilis. But that's all I ever got. One of our peers got syphilis. Chrissy Chlamydia.

One of our peers went old school, got syphilis. That's wild. Who's that? One of our peers. Who's that? I don't know if legally I can say. We want names. Yeah.

Oh, tell us afterwards. I don't know who you're talking about. Yeah, I feel like that I shouldn't. Mark Norman, what are you going to do? That's no case. I love it. But it was years ago. Yeah, but you could cure that one too

yeah no that's he told it he was talking about it years and years and years ago what was it I got syphilis what a good impression how about getting that call

from a fucking yeah it was truly years ago hey I heard you talking about me on the yeah it was like 10 years ago I think he told

hey babe you got do you have a burn 10 years ago now you're covering your face no no that's serious it was like it felt like 10 years ago sometimes I'll do that people like Hey, babe, do you have a burn? 10 years ago? Now you're covering your face. No, no, that's serious. It was 10 years. It felt like 10 years ago. Sometimes I'll do that.

People like a girl, I'll tell a story about a girl, and I can tell that the girl I'm telling the story to is getting a little chippy. Yeah. I'm like, why is he telling me a story? So I'll be like, geez, this must have been nine years ago now. And that saves it, because they go, oh, I didn't even know this guy. Did you tell your previous partners that you had chlamydia?

I've talked about chlamydia so many times. It's like, relax. It's not a big thing. It's a big thing. And I'm like, no, it isn't. Why are we pretending like it's a big thing? It's not that big a deal. You get it cured up, right?

Is it that big of a deal? You get some meds. I mean, it's not like Joe List. Joe List has herpes. That's a big one. Yeah, Joe List has herpes. But even that's not that big of a deal anymore, too. You can get Valtrex to suppress it.

It makes me happy. Suppress it all. I still don't want it that big of a deal anymore. You can get Valtrex to suppress it. It makes me happy. Suppress it all. I still don't want it, but you can suppress it. You got it. It's good to hear. Suppress it with Valtrex, and then you just got to find a relationship where somebody accepts

that you're going to be having sex with a condom. No, no, but they don't... No, they have... You don't always pass it like that. Yeah, but I think they have sex with a condom. No, they don't. They don't? I'm pretty sure they don't.

Yeah. No, they don't. I don't believe in those anyways. Yeah, because I think... Some people are strong against guns. Jeff D'm pretty sure they don't. Yeah. No, they don't. I don't believe in those anyways. Yeah. Yeah, because I think- Some people are strong against guns. Jeff Dye is strong against condoms. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll fuck you while holding a gun without a condom. A woman tells you to put on a condom and you're like, I'm against regulation. You'll meet a girl you've never met before at a comedy show that night, have sex with her. Last night. Raw daddy. Yeah, I like this kid. He's trying to kill himself.

He's an addict. I'm not friends with Giannis. You'd have a long day every day. Yeah, I'd be like, you're an addict. So wait, so last night you banged out Raw Daddy? That's not true.

That's just true. How many girls over and under do you think you've had unprotected sex with? Oh, I can't do that game. You want to talk about it? I'm not putting that on a podcast. I just won't do it.

Wow. You know why I won't do it? I won't do that game you want to talk about i'm not putting that on a podcast i just won't do it wow you know why i won't do a thing i won't do it because uh because the number is high well no yes but also because what i think girls like about me is that i wouldn't talk about that kind of thing right and they know i'm a pretty loose-lipped dude well that but that's like one sub that's gonna hurt the same game that i'm doing well at right it's interesting it's interesting you say that because when i was you don't shit where you eat when i was watching two when i was watching in 2008 when i was dating that girl one of the main things she said about you she's like he just seems like a wholesome great guy and i'm like he's got chlamydia oh but that thing is i am a wholesome good guy i know i'm kidding but when it comes to that subject people are like oh god yeah you know i'm saying like like i coach special olympics like i don't eat meat because i once met a pig that i fucking loved yeah uh an actual pig not a gal

yeah and uh shut on hawkmer but when it comes to like sex you know like then then i'm like that's i enjoy that as much as i enjoy it's just with sex it's just the it's just the kind of stereotype of it all because like you're talking about getting chlamydia that's the same thing as getting strep throat and that's why it cures it but what's the difference it's like one's on one stereotype stigma exactly everyone's having sex yeah people in relationships people not in relationships single pay up everyone's doing it dude i'd let you fucking come on my face right now yeah and i'm going to absolutely oh sure we got to be clean yeah yeah nate wouldn't say that this is nate ryan hamilton wouldn't say that yeah now much like they say jerry jerry wouldn't say that. This is the Nate Bargatze. This is Nate. Ryan Hamilton wouldn't say that. Yeah. Now, much like they say.

Jerry, Jerry wouldn't. Jerry wouldn't say it. Jerry would text it, though. Mark Dorman wouldn't say it. Yeah, he wouldn't say it. Mark wouldn't say it if he's opening for Jerry. Yeah. Yeah.

So a lot of people, you know, they say different regions, better food. Yeah. Let's ask you, what region has the best pussy? Ooh. Yeah. Spain. Spain. Okay. Go to Spain. Yeah. The problem with Spain.? Ooh. Yeah. Spain. Spain. Okay.

Go to Spain. Yeah. The problem with Spain. Here's the problem with Spain. Because you're kind of a connoisseur at this point. I feel like I am. Yeah. Like a sommelier of pussy.

Oh, that'd be a great shirt merch. Jeff Dye, the sommelier of pussy. I want that. I want that idea. You can have it. You can take that. All right. Now we've got to record.

He said I can have it. Jeff Dye can have All right, now we've got a recording. He said I can have it. Jeff, I can have the Salmo. Yeah, that's actually a fucking hilarious. Like, you know, that's ours. Yeah, that's yours. Yeah, we'll take Salmo. You take Salmo. You take a pussy.

You came up with Salmo. You have a pussy, too. Now, this is why they're trying to get white guys out of the business. We're evil. Yeah, and as Jeff said, white guys are a dynasty. That's right. We're legendary. Not afraid to giggle.

Salmo, you have a pussy. Your wife's not going to let you sell that shirt. No, that's yours. We're legendary. Not afraid to giggle. You saw me at Pussy. Your wife's not going to let you sell that shirt. No, that's yours. But Giannis is a married kid that just bought a house, so he needs the money. Yeah, I need the money right now. Whatever's going to work is going to work, Mrs. Poppins. Yeah, we're going to have to fire someone. She's going to have to go to the park.

Yeah, we're going to play the Russian roulette of firing one of our staff next episode. Yeah, and it could be the truffle pit. I'm going to need to survive somehow. I got no money because I just bought a house. I can't afford to please a wife. That's a piece that you can't afford. It's a piece. I can't along.

I'm a princess. Yeah, she's good. I love my wife. Yeah. Okay. So, uh,

what was, we were talking to Samia, but I'm saying, Oh, the best region. So we went to Spain. They go, dude,

you're going to love this place. All these, all the, some of the most beautiful women you ever seen in your life. And they're not lying. We went into this restaurant and all the girls go to this restaurant in Spain because that's where the soccer players come in. all some of the most beautiful women you've ever seen in your life and they're not lying we went into this restaurant and all the girls go to this restaurant in spain because that's where the soccer players come in professional so they're trying to like get themselves a millionaire

soccer player why you going there and i'm not exaggerating 150 to 200 of the best looking women i've ever seen in my life my ex-girlfriend kim it is like custom made for my eyes i think she's the most beautiful human i've ever looked at. She's just at her face or hair to everything about my ex. Kim was the hottest. And these girls were all like her. They were like 200 of hotter and or her. Right now.

No. Yeah. Good luck. Humes are no fumes. Yeah, I was telling you. No. So I'm in heaven. I'm like, oh, yeah.

Even the grossest one I would marry, you know, and I'm feeling good. Like tonight's gonna be the best night of my life. Wrong. Two hundred of the best looking dudes came in. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm listening. And I was just I was like, they were so good looking that and I, you know, we're good looking

guys. Sorry. Yeah, I'm almost. Oh, we're good looking guys. Sorry. City up. Yeah. I'm almost. Almost. We're all good looking guys. But I looked at, I literally was like, I should be shoveling coal for these people.

Yeah. Like they looked at me like, back to the shadows, ugly. Like I was compared to these men. I was like, well, they're going to fuck all of them. Yeah. Those guys are going to fuck all the girls. Did you leave a girl or a guy? Nope.

Did you leave anybody? Got nothing. But you know what? They're good looking, but as soon as they start speaking, they start talking like this. They're like, you guys talk stupid. Ibiza. Ib you know what? They're good looking, but as soon as they start speaking, they start talking like this. They're like, you guys talk stupid. Ibiza. I'm from Ibiza. Actually, that's why I didn't get any action is because we're good with our words. We're good with conversation.

We're good at making people laugh. And since they didn't speak any English, they would just dance up to our table. They knew we were important. Or at least like from America TV, that's why we got a good table. And then they would be like, Spanish, Spanish? And we're like, no. And then they would just dance away. Well, that's what also in Europe, like us doing comedy is not a masculine thing.

Like when we were in Germany, the thing that girls would like here, oh, you're a comedian, you do TV. In Germany and countries like that, they're like, do you work with your hands? Can you build stuff? Of course. It's not your factory. You're a theater. Yeah, exactly. You dabble in theater. Yeah, and we don't want any of that. It's not even theater You're a theater. Yeah, exactly. You dabble in theater.

Yeah. And we don't want any of that. It's not even theater. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's even worse. It's like lower, which is the way it should be, really.

I mean, we're kind of useless human beings. Yeah. It's a little bit like. Yeah. Because if the power goes out, it's like, are people going to become the comedy shows? You're going to somebody to build shit. And guess what? Do you value the guy that knows how to do the power company shit?

We make people happy. That's true. We make stupid people happy. That's way better than being able to come hook up your fucking cable. I get that I recognize those guys. Oh, look who it is. Venetia's here. It's not as good as making someone feel good.

Who just walked in? It was Venetia. This is the robot voice you've been hearing. I have been sexually harassing you via this podcast. He could wait. You guys, that's inappropriate. Yeah. No, it's okay.

Your audio file could hashtag me to me and it'd be over in a second. Well, that's the thing. He was hitting on robot Venetia. A lot of our fans are saying that, how much they love Venetia's voice. So cool it with Venetia's voice, okay? Yeah. You can talk, say whatever you want to robot Venetia, but if you say anything to the real Venetia, you're going to get hit with a snapping right.

I agree with that. I know what this episode is going to be called. Obviously, we're going to have a description of Jeff Dye, but I think we should just call fuckboy status. Fuckboy status. No, definitely fuckboy status. She will speak on this episode as fuckboy status. Yeah, Venetia will tell us what men in history are fuckboys. I don't like it.

I think you're probably a delight and I'd probably love you. But anyone who even says fuckboy is as stupid as someone who says, like, she's a slut. Like, it's a stupid fucking word. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good. Now she's back in. I love her.

There he is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we've been talking about who's had chlamydia a few times. Yeah. Yeah. Vanity, you missed it. You missed it. Mike's had it the most. Yeah. a few times. Yeah. In Ben and Tia, you missed it.

You missed it. Mike's had it the most. Which is shocking. Yeah. Which is shocking. Well, that's what happens when you stick your dick in inanimate objects. It's what it is. A little bacteria gets in there.

He got it from a couch. Yeah. Wait till you see my secret Santa gift. You can blow it. Chris, no. Yeah. I'm just kidding around. I'm just kidding around.

I'm just kidding around. I'm just kidding around. We can go while Jeff dies in here. Jeff dies here. I'm sorry. Too many white people. I'm sorry. How many minutes are a little while. Jeff dies in here. Jeff dies here. I'm sorry. Too many white people. I'm sorry. How many minutes are we?

We almost done. It's all my Caucasian. Brings out the evil in these boys. Yeah, this is baby. Yeah. Yeah. We're having a good time with Jeff. We had a good time.

We had a good time. I have to pee and I haven't been peeing. Yeah. Yeah. Can I say one thing? Oh, yeah. Mike, say something. You guys both have WWE in your collection of women.

Oh, you do? Oh, wow. This should both have WWE in your collection of women. Oh, you do? Oh, wow. This should be cackled. Mike, what are you doing? What is Mike doing? I mean, what is a very important name to him? What the fuck? She's a problem, Mike.

She gave him a problem. No, we're actually talking again. Are you good? Okay. No, no, no. What girl? You don't even have to use her real name. Use her wrestling name.

I'll tell you off. No, because she will fucking kill me. Yeah? Yeah. What the fuck is Mike doing, Venetia? There's only like... Venetia, you have to be at every episode. Yeah.

Because if not, then this shit goes off the rails. There's only 20 women in wrestling. Yeah, it was fucking... Want to tell you what? No, Kizuna. Let's hear Joe's. I can wiggle you out of what? Let's hear Coach. I can wiggle you out of this. Let's hear Jeff.

So the worst part about dating a female wrestler is not everyone watches wrestling. In fact, a lot of people in regular society don't watch wrestling. And she gets hurt a lot in the ring. She gets shiners, she gets cuts, bruises. And then I have to walk around holding her hand and everyone's gone. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't do that.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. John Cena. Hey, no, that's Rick Flair's daughter did that. I did. And doesn't that make me look like the worst liar in the world? Rick Flair's daughter's like, fuck it. She falls a lot. Once you run into a door, you're like, actually, if you watched last night. Yeah, she got slammed through a

door. Yeah. By myself, I'll take his physical. she did. Yeah, she got slammed through a door. Yeah, yeah. By myself, I'll take his physical. On the flip side, the positive may be if you're dating a female wrestler and you want to discipline her, nobody will notice. You can just say I guess that would be a positive. She would go, yeah, she would go like

he's hitting me and you're going like, am I hitting you? Right, sure. Yeah, the garlic wasn't sliced and you're like, you got that last night when you were fighting this McMahon's daughter. Yeah. You just have a little bit of a concussion. But seriously, if this garlic slice a little too thin again, we'll see what happens.

We'll see what happens. Definitely. Fuck boy status. Yeah. Yeah. She said it. Yeah. Well, robot.

Robot. Don't like that. Yeah. So, Jeff, do you have anything to promote? I have a new album coming out on 800lb Gorilla called Dumb is Gooder Dumb is Gooder, there you go 800lb Gorilla, yeah

they're great at a lot of things, not getting tapes they make good albums, they're shitty at designing things yeah, yeah it's just the truth the thing is, I love being a part of this but it's nice to just be honest on the podcast what are you going to do? Yeah.

What can you do? You know, we should go around and say the only thing we regret saying on the podcast. Yeah. Well, I think we did a lot of that today. But let's just acknowledge it. Like we go around and say what you're thankful for. I want to go around and say the things I shared that I would either take back or just want to clear the air on. I regret lying about not saying the N word.

Oh, yeah. Thank you. You missed a lot. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I asked him. God damn it.

I actually have the last time they said the N word button for when the time is right. You do, right? Nice. I asked him the last time they said the N word and they, they got all weird. Never. Oh,

never. Yeah. Right. Never. So thank you for being honest. Well's the last time she said it? This morning. No. No, we're just kidding around. Yeah, we're just joking. You guys, that's inappropriate.

Yeah. Yeah. What do you regret from this episode? What do I regret? What do I regret? It's a holiday regret. This is coming up in the holidays? Yeah, it's perfect. Merry Christmas, everybody. Something that was said in the episode that I wish I could take back? Or that you just go, I probably shouldn't have said that. I probably shouldn't have said that. Maybe it was the Mark Norman thing.

Maybe the Mark Norman thing, yeah. I would say that. Yeah, I said Mark Norman told me in conference he had syphilis. So... We talked about that on his podcast. Oh, he does? Yeah, he does. But that's his public news now.

No regrets. Yeah, no regrets. What can you do? Yeah. I regret making a weight joke about Bobby Kelly, who I really like. There you go. Because he used to hate me, and then I finally got just a little bit of acknowledgement from him. And then I come into his house, and I call him an 800-pound gorilla.

Well, he's a big kid. He's doing a lot. He's watching when he eats. That's why I regret it. I want him to know I love him. I didn't mean it. It's just a stupid, easy joke and I feel bad. I've made a lot of fun. All that other shit I said, hey, that

stays. Yeah, I like how Jeff's completely fine with it. We're going to get that up on the merch line. We're going to have our meeting. She's going to be like, do we love this episode? Would you like one of my t-shirts I'm selling? We're going to have our meeting. She's going to be like, do we love this episode? How about your?

Would you like one of my T-shirts I'm selling? I'm a sommelier of pussy. Yeah, the sommelier of pussy. We should love it. Yeah. You don't like it? Who in the community doesn't love it? We should love it.

Should we rethink the? I think from now on, referring to Jeff, because we're going to have him back because we had so much fun. Thanks, guys. We should just refer to him as the Samuel Yeh Pussy. Yeah, well, Samuel Yeh Pussy's coming in. We'll call him Jeffy Sops, S-O-P. Oh, I like that.

Samuel Yeh Pussy. That way no one else knows. Yeah, Sop. Yeah. It's like that nickname. Fuck that fat lady. Yeah. And I got that weird nickname.

Oh. Ogmer. That'll be mine. Yeah, there you go. You can reference me as that and no one else will know. Nobody will know. What can you do? Yeah.

All right, listen. Check out Jeff Dye on the road. Please. Follow Jeff Dye on all his social media. Love you guys. That'll be mine Yeah And no one else will know Nobody will know What can you do Yeah Alright listen Check out Jeff Dye on the road Please Follow Jeff Dye on all his social media Love you guys And catch his new album coming out When's it releasing I'm not sure

I think a couple months But it'll be on 800 pound Check him out man And then I'm ChrisDComedy.com I got a lot of dates Coming up in January Check my site

Denver Atlantic City Hamden Connecticut Go check those Giannis Pappas Comedy.comcom, New York City, Gotham Comedy Club. Come out. GiannisPappasComedy.com for tickets.

And Uncle Vinny's the weekend after that. So, guys, let's fill it up. Come on. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. If you want to get more content and just be a cute kid. All right. Leave a review. What?

Leave a review. Rate us. Leave a review. Rate us. Absolutely. And send gotta go. Leave a review, rate us. Leave a review, rate us, absolutely. And send me some remedies for prostitutes. Thank you. Bye.