History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 142 - Aztecs Were WILD!

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

The cuzzies dive into Tenochtitlan and dive into the Latin culture of the Aztecs! It's Chrissy Conquistador Yucatan Yanni in the land of the shirtless heart ripping pieces all trying to get to the land of the dead just waiting to be overrun by a European 'rona!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ស្លាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់� Yeah! Welcome to another episode of the History Hyenas. Chrissy Cumpleaños, Yanni Yahya here, Yanni Olmos, Chrissy Constriction. I mean, we just got names and names and names. I'm Chrissy Conquistador, and it's Yanni Yucatan, because today we're going to be talking about the Aztecs. And it's going to be a 10 out of 10 episode, because make no mistake, the Aztecs, which are founded in modern day Mexico City, now, they were wild, wild kids. And you know, I know now you kind of just see them, you know, they're just selling ices at the park, but that wasn't what they always were.

Yeah, I mean, they did always seem to have a really, really good knack for landscaping, and voila. Because it would be funny if, no matter what, even though when the Aztecs were at the height, I'm talking about Montezuma II, 1500, the height of the empire, if still there always just is some old lady

selling ices at the park. Even when, 1500, the height of the empire, if still there always just is some old lady selling ice, he's at the park. Even when, even in the middle of Tejalacacacacan, whatever. Because the names in ancient Aztecs, I can't pronounce it. I mean, it's Tecohuacatatun, which is now modern-day Mexico City, is their capital. But because I just can't say it. Because, I mean, here's the thing about them.

They're always ready to sell me a little plastic baggie of guava slices, and for that, I'm appreciative. Yeah, the name of the city was Teno Chitlin, and it was founded in 1325

on an island. So, Cuz, it was probably fucking cute. Now, let me ask you this. When the ban is lifted and we're ready to get back out there, are we going to hop on a Southwest flight 25 on an island. So cuz it was probably fucking cute. Now, let me ask you this. When when the ban is lifted, and we're ready to get back out there, are we going to hop on a Southwest flight and get to Mexico City to see these temples or no? Well, what we're going to do is we're not really going to venture off to see the temples unless we have armed guards and security. But what we will do is we go to Cancun all inclusive, get fuckinged, and then do a day trip to whatever fucking fake temple they take us to and tell us it was Montezuma's bathroom.

I don't care about your history. It's what it is. Because make no mistake, we're going to go there for a family trip, us as the hyenas, the four of us, and we're going to take Mike and we're going to sacrifice him and cut him wide open at the top of one of those ancient temples just like they used to do, and he's going to take mike and we're going to sacrifice him and cut him wide open at the top of one of those ancient temples just like they used to do and and he's gonna and he's gonna bleed out and make no mistake make no mistake i know for a fact if i punched mike in the stomach right now he would explode into what a burger wrappers make no mistake if we wanted to pull mike's heart beating

hard out like the aztecs did at the top of uh first of all i don't know if we would get them to the top of the fucking temple because the kid's going to be out of breath halfway up. So it's going to take us about three days to get him up. Because make, make no mistake, the ancient Aztecs, and I'm sure the Mayans and Incas and everybody, but the, the Aztecs specifically who we'll be talking about today, they used to cut out the beating heart of, of, of, of law. You know,

we cut out the beating heart of usually prisoner of war or one of the nobles. They would cut out the beating heart. And make no mistake, if we cut out Mike's beating heart, in the last move he would ever do is he'd dip it in chocolate and take a bite out of it. Why the hell not? Why not?

Because chocolate – let's get to it. Yeah, well, first of all, I just want to say – I just want to ask you how your day's been, and did you move your monkey? I think we need to start asking each other that. Was the monkey moved? I have not moved my monkey today. I've been 100% hiking and 100%, which makes 200%, but I was 100% reading about Aztecs, and the other 100%, I was lost in the forest. I'm lost in the forest, Yanni. I was about to bring back, when you were giving my names, I was about to say, otherwise known as, here's an oldie but goodie, Freddy Fettichese.

Remember that? Freddy Fettichese is a 10 out of 10. I like the names, though, now, to correspond with the history we're talking about. So do you approve Chrissy Conquistador and Yuka Tanyani just for today? Abso-fucking-lutely. Why the hell not? Yeah, and what are we going to call Mikey?

Let's call Mikey Maíz, because you know what? The Aztecs, they mostly ate corn, which was called Maíz. Yeah, Maíz, Mikey, or Mexica, Mikey, because the Mexica tribe was the ones who would eventually go on to become the Aztecs, which is what modern-day Mexico is based on. So we call him Mejia, Mikey, or Maíz, Maizy. And then what would we call Venetia? What should we call Venetia?

We just call her Venetia, just a black girl living in the Incan time. Yeah, her name is just Venetia, what's up? Venetia Jenkins. Yeah. Now listen, now what did you like most about the Aztecs? Was there something that stuck out that you thought was fucking cute? the Aztec people, which like Chrissy said, were the Aztec empire was founded by a tribe called Mexica that went marching for more arable land. And they stumbled upon this ancient, ancient city

of a forgotten empire that nobody knows the name of that was about 30 miles or 300 miles. I think it's more 30 miles outside of mexico city who gives a fuck it doesn't matter yeah it's the it's in brooklyn outside of the brooklyn whatever the brooklyn of mexico city is that's where the fucking place is yeah where wikipedia sluts it doesn't matter find out that information yourself 30 or 300 anyways probably 30 so they stumble upon this ancient forgotten city and that city had these major temples uh these egyptian uh you know temples the egyptian looking temples and these people that flourished about the same time that rome was flourishing but they're completely forgotten so the aztecs see this and they go you

know what we're gonna set up camp right here because these temples are fucking cute because and if you don't think if me and you were the ones to discover that if the first thing i would have done is got butt naked and climbed up on one of those temples and just sat like the Sphinx cat that I am, Chrissy Sphinx cat, you got another big comment, that's the first thing I would have done. Absolutely. Now, here's the thing. The Meheka tribe walked all the way to this old ancient city that they called something I can't pronounce.

Guys, those kids' Fitbits must have been through the roof through the fucking roof i mean those kids they walked like the jews uh out of the desert and they found what it is city and they were like this place is it basically the old city was kind of like like thrift clothing and they were like hey man don't let this go to waste. These fucking clothes are cute. We're going to sell them in Williamsburg. So they opened up the cutest fucking thrift shop city you ever seen. Well, make no mistake, speaking of clothing, the rules regarding clothing in that culture were fucking wild. Based on what class system you were in, that's the color you could wear.

For example, nobles, only nobles, the top nobility. So like only fucking, you know, people like upper echelon, like basically top shelf gays, like your $3 bill brother would wear. They could only wear clothes decorated with feathers, which is fucking cute. Benatia is like, I'm listening. Clothes with feathers. And emperors could only wear turquoise. Now, Yanni, you know me.

I'm a kid that wear turquoise now yanni you know me i'm a kid that loves turquoise i mean how would i survive in a city that only the emperor could wear turquoise what would i do i don't know what you would do cuz but turquoise is a really really it's a really hippie only hippies really like turquoise cuz make no mistake i like turquoise i'm fucking christy the turk and the punishment for breaking the rules, if you wore the wrong color, so if you wore that wrong color, like I'm most likely to be a shit shoveler,

so I guess I would just always have to be in just, you know, shit brown. If I tried to wear turquoise because I went to play dress-up and make believe I was the emperor to, you know, fuck myself or whatever it is, you would be killed for that. You would be killed for wearing the wrong color, which is kind of still alive today because obviously I'm a blood and you're a crip. And if we killed for wearing the wrong color, which is kind of still alive today because obviously I'm a blood and you're a crypt. And if we get caught wearing, you know,

the opposite colors, we could die for that. Yeah, I mean, you know, these things don't just fall from the sky. They don't exist in a vacuum. I mean, the bloods and the crypts, you know, wearing the wrong colors and you getting killed for it, that's what used to happen in the old city of Tenochtitlan.

Tenochtitlan. Give it a whirl. Can you pronounce it? The ancient, what, in the old city of tenno chit italian give it a whirl can you pronounce it the ancient what were the ancient city which is modern day mexico city now what that was called no no the the aztec empire's capital was called right no chit the lot yeah tenno chit the lot yeah but it's modern day mexico city because what happened because we're going to get to it the spaniards came in and just made mexico. But yeah, Tenochtitlan. Tenochtitlan, which is what I was talking about, which is about 30 miles outside of Mexico City. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know what to... I don't fucking know how to pronounce it. I just pronounce it, just give me more lemonade, Pedro. They had to put it 30 miles outside of Mexico City. They couldn't build Mexico City right on it, because they knew that tourism was going to be a big part of their economy

because it's a tropical fucking climate. So they wanted to be able to have buses that made money that could take you from Mexico City to fucking

so the kids were screwed in. Because if you don't, because first of all, the only way that we'd ever even be able to get into Mexico City is if we had to go, we would have to go with Mike. I mean, the only way we have to go with the native Mexican get into mexico city is if we we had to go we would have to go with mike i mean the only way we have to go with the native mexican we have to dress

him up like a abuelita and walk through those cities like it's fucking coco because all we'd have to do is get mikey a sombrero and a poncho and we just hold on to his body and he'll carry us in yeah cuz he'll just look like uh more Gordo Mexican. Mikey. And you know what I love about the Aztecs? Because first of all, I think I was designed, I was born to be an Aztec warrior because the most valued food, the most valuable food, and a thing that was like from God was the cocoa bean, which was used to make chocolate. So if you like chocolate and you like to do a little blow, then Aztecs is the fucking people for you.

Yeah, also coffee. The coffee comes from the coffee bean. From the coffee bean, yeah. And make no mistake, Venetia likes to do a little blow, so she would be an Aztec warrior princess because she does a little blow. Absolutely. Here's the thing. Upper West Side girls, they like to do a little blow.

They love to do a little tinsy-wincy bit of blow. If you don't think that there's been a couple of times on Monday mornings the reason why Vanity hasn't turned her camera on

is because she's got a nose strip on like you but it's from doing blow you got another thing coming. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Our own producer comedian Mike Suarez

Yeah and he's a comedian today he sometimes has his producer hat, but he's a fucking comedian. And when we get back to live performing, make no mistake, he's coming out. He's going to open up for us as long as his fucking whooping cough stays at bay. Yeah. Now, Mikey Suarez is a Mexican kid who probably carries the history of the Mexican people in his bloodline

because his last name is Suarez, which is his last name. I mean, diabetes, I do. Diabetes. Also, he loves tortillas, but beyond that, his last name is Suarez, which is Spanish.

The Spanish conquered the whole region. Yes. Which means at some point, his mestizo mom got fucking banged out by a conquistador. It's what it is. And whatever conquistador that was, the kid was a little bit gordo because his genetic code is once you hit a certain age, you're going to blow out. So my daddy was a little gordo.

He was a little gordo, but it's interesting because that's something that- What if Mike comes from a long line of guys who just fell off roofs? It's what it is yeah what if it's what if his ancient ancestor just fell off one of those temples and stumbled down the stairs and it started from there that's just always what it's going to be because it's interesting you say that because you know what's mind-blowing thing what i don't think a lot of people know is like the aztecs like you think that they're in mexico and so you know ancient world you're like oh they must speak spanish but like people in mexico like spain just came into south america and central america and just started making people

that we assume right now they're like oh that that person's spanish they were never speaking spanish before the spanish empire came in in the 14 and 1500. So that whole language, that whole, you know, Taktakunin and all these words, the ancient Mayans, ancient Incas, ancient Aztecs, they did not speak Spanish at all. They had their own language, their own words. It was all symbols and paintings. It was like, none of this was Spanish. So that's, I don't think a lot of people realize that. Yeah. I mean,

those are all dead languages that are gone because once the Spanish came in and conquered Spanish Christianity, I mean, all the Mexicans, you know, are Catholic now. That's not because that was their God. I mean, that's, you know, the Europeans came in and said, this is your new God. It's our God. And by the way, while you pray to this God, show me where fucking eldorado is because i'm here for the gold babe and why do i want the gold oh let's just say my god needs it shut the fuck babe show me the gold babe show me the gold but basically what the europeans came for they came for the gold babe and they took the gold babe and that's what it is that's what it is yeah i mean you have hernan cuartez is probably the most famous uh spanish conquistador

and he just came in and he's the one so in the 1500s montezuma the second was the fucking top ff of the aztec empire he and he allegedly he was like a good you know ruler and everything was fine but that motherfucker cortez came in and said listen babe we got we're here for jesus we're here to give you guys jesus and take your gold So he made Montezuma II give up his empire and was like, listen, you're just going to be a prisoner. It's going to be cute. And then unfortunately, he fucking killed him. And that's just how it worked.

You just got killed. And then they were like, whoopsie, you know, a little red tape. They covered it up. The government covered it up. They're like, yeah, we killed him. And then they just took the empire and they took all the gold. They took 80 tons of gold. It's like hundreds of millions of dollars in today's currency because the kids, the Aztec kids didn't look as gold as currency.

They looked, they were like, they were like, you know, we need the gold for other reasons. They was like a part of their religion. Yeah. Especially those Musica people. Yeah. But here's the thing. Montezuma was basically the Sam Adams of the Aztec empire. His daddy was John Adams, who was the first, second president. And then he was Montezuma II. And the king was supposedly a good ruler. And understand, when Cortes came, they took him. Cortes made the sort of bold move to,

because Montezuma had heard about the Spanish hitting land, because the Spanish hit land up by the Mayans and the Spanish were fucking people up because they had swords and steel and they also had, unbeknownst to them at the time, they had the weapon of germs that were just wiping people out. So Montezuma was kind of smart. He said, you know what, when these people

marched down, these conquistadors, who he thought were kind of like god-like people, he thought they were like God, some God that was coming to reclaim their throne because they'd been stupid. He said, we're going to welcome them with open arms. And he was diplomatic. So they welcomed, he welcomed Cortez and his people in.

And then Cortez, who was way outnumbered, goes, I'm just going to, because Montezuma was a little Franks and Beans. He just left himself unguarded. They just kidnapped Montezuma. just they just kidnapped montezuma so they just took montezuma and they figured that would because he was a deity god much like the egyptians used to have that maybe that the people would just worship them now well and it's interesting because even the word like there's a lot of words that come from the aztec language which was nahutal nahutal was the aztec language and there are certain words that come from the Aztec language, which was Nahutal. Nahutal was the Aztec language. And there are

certain words that come from coyote. We have the word coyote, the word avocado, the word chili, the word chocolate. That's all from Nahutal. And then I, a word, because like you mentioned with Cortez, Cortez said that Cortez came in and started killing people and really, you know, kind of overtaking the Aztecs. But the biggest thing that killed them was the disease, the smallpox, the smallpox and the disease killed everybody and kind of just spread over the whole colony. And the Aztec word for that is Chinese. Yeah. Here's the, let's just back up.

It's just what it is. But the Chinese are in there spreading the virus like smallpox from the Spaniards. Yeah, they're doing to us, to the dirty Europeans, what dirty Europeans have done to indigenous peoples for thousands and thousands of years. Yeah. Now, let's just back it up and get to set the setting, because this is actually very fascinating, people. And then we'll get into the fucking human sacrifice and all the wild shit. Yeah, I can't wait. Wait, let's set the setting.

I have a feather. I mean, I'm full of feathers and I'm in turquoise. Go. You are. It's just fascinating to think that the Aztec capital, which is right by Mexico City, was founded on – it was actually an ancient abandoned city that they found where it was – that city, the archaeologists believe, was founded in 13 – was like around the Roman times. So it was like –

Way earlier. So the Aztecs founded their city about 1325 A.D. But like maybe 1,000 years earlier, there was this other city that no, a city, uh, an empire that nobody knows anything about that was completely wiped out. And they don't know why maybe neighboring tribes, maybe a disease, maybe a climate change, but these ruins had massive, massive, massive pyramids temples that were similar to the Egyptians.

That is fucking wild because it was around the time of the egyptians as well in a totally far off land and they had no idea about each other or did they yeah or did they it might have been aliens because you gotta understand how wild that is because in the you know 15th and 16th century, the Renaissance period in Europe, Christopher Columbus, when he sailed to looking for a new trade route to get to the West Indies and to find the new land, they had

no idea North America and South America even existed. So you've got to understand how wild that is, because the Aztecs, who were in fucking, you know, they had leaves for underwear, how could they and their ancient and the people a thousand years before them, if the most advanced society didn't even know that North America and South America existed, how could they know to build pyramids that look exactly the same

or very close to something in Africa and Egypt? I mean, it's just fucking wild. The only answer is aliens. It's really fucking wild. And when Columbus was the first cat to really go down there, when he landed in the Bahamas. Yeah. I mean, you want to talk about Franks and Beans. Do you want to talk about Franks and fucking Beans? Let's talk about Christopher Columbus. I mean, that kid, he was looking for, he thought the kid, he thought he was in Asia and the kid wound up in the

Bahamas and he thought he was in the West Indies and started calling people in the Bahamas Indians. I mean, the kid's a little Franks, no? I mean, the kid went the wrong way. It's actually funny that a whole population of people got known as Indians because Christopher Columbus thought they were Indians. Yeah. I mean, the kid's Franks. He's fucking Franks. And he was a little bit of a dick. Because here's the thing. I mean, like anybody else in history, I mean, this is what it is. Unfortunately, to get your name in the history books, you usually got to do something a little fucked up and just got to be a little bit of a dick.

And I think Chrissy Columbus was. I mean, all the other ancient rulers killed people and smallpox and blah, blah, blah, blah. But there's one dick move. I'm like, ah, guy. So when he, Columbus told people when he's on the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria, which everybody knows about,

he said he would have a soldier go on the top post, and he said, when you see land, yell Tierra, Tierra, and the first person who sees land is going to get $10,000. He didn't say that. It was the queen that said the first person who sees land is going to get $10,000 gold coins for the rest of their life every year. Every year, which is a lot of fucking money. So there was a kid. He was a 21-year-old kid.

His name was Rodrigo de Triana. Veneti just went a little pyoing because of that name. Rodrigo de Triana, and so did I. He saw land, he claims, on October 12, 1492 at 2 a.m. He said he saw land. He started yelling, Tierra, Tierra, and everyone got excited. But then Christopher Columbus said that he saw it the night before at 10 p.m. And Christopher Columbus took the prize.

So that's a little bit fucked up. And it really bothered the Rodrigo de Triana kid for so long that he actually hung himself a few years later, which is a little, you know, not dope. Yeah. And when it comes to the, you know, the proper way to say he hung himself, they tell you is to say hanged, but that doesn't work. So let's just change it. I'm making an official announcement

on the History Hyenas that we are changing the lexicon. It's okay to say he hung himself. Because every time you say hung, somebody's got to correct you and say that's not the way you say it. You're supposed to say hang. Well, you know what?

That doesn't make fucking sense. That's Franks and Beans. It's called hung. He hung himself. He hung himself. It's stupid. I don't like it. Guys, we got to tell you about tushy chrissy i mean we're always talking about fumes on our podcast there are ways in the future to eliminate fumes that are more efficacious than toilet paper

yeah i just i woke up one day and i said you know? I want to treat my butt right today. I want to treat my butt right. And how I treat my butt right is with tushy. Yeah. If you got poop, if you got poop on any other part of your body, would you just wipe it off with dry paper? Let me ask you that. If you had poop on your forehead, would you wipe it off with dry paper? I don't think so.

Water cleans better than dry paper, my friends. So that's why you need tushy. Okay. You got to get yourself a fucking Tushy bidet. I mean, would you even clean up anything off the floor with a dry? No, you wet it. You got to wet your butt. You got to wet your smashed bean, guy.

Because Tushy sprays water directly into your ass and removes the poop completely. Like, listen to this. Listen to this. See? Now I need some tushy. I need some tushy to clean out because I got some spackle back there, and I'm not going to use dry paper. I'm not going to use my hands.

I'm not going to use the beloved American flag. I'm going to use tushy. Yeah, because tushy sprays your ass with fresh water. It's not toilet water. Tushy connects to the water supply behind your toilet. It's fresh water. You can fucking drink it. We don't recommend it, but you can drink it and it sprays right into your dirty

asshole and it cleans it with fresh water. Yeah. Yeah, wet wipes are worse than toilet paper. They're terrible for the environment. They cause anal fissures, which my dad has, and you don't want your anus fissuring. And it's only... They fucking block up your plumbing system. Cuz, it's only you fucking block up your plumbing system because it's only 79 79 that's all

for fucking tushy but let me here's the good news here's the good news if you go to hello tushy.com h-e-l-l-o-t-u-s-h-y.com slash views you 10% off your order. Okay? 10% off that $79 offer. Right. You can go to hellotushy.com slash fumes as well. So go to hellotushy.com slash

fumes to get 10% off your order. And let me just tell you something, cuz. It's very easy to install. Alright right it's a sleek bidet attachment that clips onto your existing toilet to spray your butt completely clean with fresh water tushy go to tushy.com slash hyenas right now and get yourself a fucking bidet for the fumes hello tushy.com slash fumes. Clean your ass. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah, cuz. So, you know, listen. So Christopher Columbus, that was before. So he never found the Aztecs. The kid died in 1504. But then the conquistadors started coming and Christopher Columbus actually set up a little colony with his brother Diego and another fucking Spanish kid. And then after that, Cortez comes. And when Cortez

comes, these motherfuckers are looking for gold. They take out a couple of, they take out the Mayans, I think, first. Or they take out a couple of other tribes. And then they march down to the Aztecs. They take out Montezuma. And that is the end of the freaking Aztec Empire. But while the Aztec Empire was

going on, cuz, they did some wild fucking rituals. Yeah, they had some wild rituals. I mean, you know. Like, what were those temples for? The temples were for fucking human sacrifice, guy. I mean, it was just human sacrifice that you can't imagine. They would cut out the beating hearts.

They would cut the limbs off. I mean, they would just beheading people. They believed, especially the nobles, you had to bleed every day or else the sun wouldn't come up. And I'm like, guy, couldn't you just do one test and just, hey, if I don't bleed today and the sun still comes up, maybe the sun's going to come up and I don't have to draw my blood. But that's not the way they saw it. They thought the only reason the sun was coming up is because they were bleeding, which is a little Franks and Beans. Yeah. Now, how did it become such a empire and why was it in that location supposedly there was what's the what's

that mineral called they were using to make the arrowheads a city you on or some obsidian right obsidian yeah yeah but there was like a big obsidian deposit whatever fucking mine or whatever close by and that's what they made their weapons out of that's what they made our shit out of here's what's fascinating to me they didn't have a wheel they didn't have a wheel. They didn't have a wheel. They didn't have steel. They didn't have horses. So they built these massive temples. And how did they do it? They did it supposedly with rolling wood. And they did it by like, by people, by manpower.

They used stones. I mean, it's wild because the Aztec children, all the children went to school. They had like forms of government. I mean, it's wild because the Aztec children, all the children went to school. They had like forms of government. They had like they had a judicial code, but they had no writing. They didn't have words. So it's like I don't understand how I'm telling you at the same time that like King Henry VIII was like building castles and like they were writing books. And Isaac Newton, these people were across the water in fucking in leaves for underwear with wooden spears. It was, it was kind of wild, but that, but that doesn't mean,

but it's not like they were so far behind. They just had different ways of expressing themselves in different, you know, things that they would do. It's, I thought they were pretty fascinating and yeah, unfortunately the truth is no matter which way you slice it, they were a little behind. Yeah. I mean, it's the truth is, no matter which way you slice it, they were a little behind. Yeah. I mean, it's not the politically correct thing to say, but it is the truth thing to say.

They were behind in a lot of things, but it wasn't their fault because they didn't have horses. Horses weren't indigenous to the Americas until the Europeans brought them. They didn't have the exposure to those germs. They didn't need a lot of the things to survive on their continent that the Europeans needed to survive on their continent, which has more, which is, what is it, longitudinal, and that's latitudinal, whatever. So the Europeans became the first

to get all the guns, germs, and steel basically is because of their geographical location. It was a wide area that went sort of east to west as opposed to north to south. When you go north to south, the climate changes a lot, and so the people traveled less. You couldn't just hop on a train or a plane and meet other cultures.

And other cultures evolved quicker by coming into contact with other cultures, which the Europeans benefited from. Cuz, let me ask you this, though. Being an Aztec person, when Spain comes in with Cortes and the rest of the conquistadors, when they come in and the first thing you see is a horse, that majestic, beautiful animal, because they had no horses there, would you want to bang that out? I mean, I can't. What's sexier than a horse? Maybe a giraffe? I mean, no, maybe a lion

nest? A female lion? Well, Nala from the Lion King, sure. I move, I move my monkey to her, but that's because it's a cartoon. But I'm talking about an actual animal that I genuinely would have sex with, would probably, the first one I'd go for is a horse. Yeah, I mean, that's disturbing. That's a real, real disturbing thing to say. Yeah, I'd lift up its tail and I'd just bang it out. I mean, what can we do? Yeah.

They're beautiful, beautiful animals, for sure. You know what was an interesting thing about Aztec law? They had this one specific part of their law. It was called the one-time forgiveness law. And under the law, a citizen could confess a crime to a priest. They were always confessing to priests. Could confess a crime to a priest, and they would be forgiven. It only worked if they confessed the crime prior to being caught.

It could also only be used once in your life, which is fucking wild. That is fucking wild. So if you killed somebody, you're just like, look, I did it. And you used that once in your life which is fucking wild that is fucking wild if you so if you killed somebody you just like look i did it and you use that once and then that's it you get a jail free card so it's like you know what do you think we should bring that law back into uh today's times why the hell not i mean why not if you accidentally get into a fight and you kill your fucking wife and just be like look i'm sorry i did it was a crime of passion i mean you know what do you think of that why the hell not sorry I did. It was a crime of passion. I mean, you know, what do you think of that? Why the hell not? I mean, maybe we should become more of a warlike people like the Essex. They were a warlike people. That's what, that's the basic character. That's

like the main characteristic of this empire. They would often go out and, uh, and, and kill other tribes. And they were, they went the offense, just like the Romans did. Because, you know, when you have an empire, you don't want to let other tribes get strong around you and then come and conquer you. So they would go on the offense, conquer these tribes. But like Chrissy said, a big part of what they wanted from them was not to kill them, but was to take them captive

so they can bring them back and sacrifice them at the top of their temples for their gods. Their gods were thirsty for a human heart, so they would lay the captive on a stone, hold him down, there would be a priestess that would hold him down, and they would cut his fucking heart out, hold the beating heart up for the god. They would all cheer or whatever, and they'd throw it in a bowl while it was still beating. And supposedly, that was like, would satiate the God, because the kid, that God liked to eat beating, bleeding hearts. Yeah, and you know what?

But they were against circumcision, so I feel like they were like, before their times, because it's wrong. It's general mutilation. Yeah, so did they cut their kids, or what did they do? They probably snipped them. I mean, circumcision had to come from somewhere. I mean, the kids probably got snipped. It depends, you know? I think the Jews were the first to snip.

Because I got to be honest with you, every time I watch Aztec documentaries, I don't know who's a man or who's a woman. They all kind of just look like Smurfs to me. Yeah. They do look a little Smurfy. Yeah, I mean, they would wear it like uh they they covered themselves in paints uh they they they ran around a lot they were kind of to think that they built those temples without horses or or levers or or wheels they didn't have they couldn't invent the

wheel they didn't figure out the wheel i mean those were hard working kids and those temples were made out of like you know adobe bricks and limestones i mean those kids were moving heavy things they were horses they're moving everything's and you know if you like an ancient like an indigenous peruvian or an indigenous ecuadorian or central you know other central american people or even indigenous mexicans you know those are the people who derived from the aztecs the incas and those ancient tribes. And one thing is fucking for sure clear, because it still remains today, is those kids are squeaks. Squeaks.

I mean, the Aztecs were fucking squeaks. They were little squeaks. They were short, short kids. They were tiny fucking kids. And a lot of times you see the descendants from the Mexica people. Those kids are still fucking squeaks. I mean, it's funny. It's funny that they're squeaks because a lot, and it's true,

because the indigenous, like from where the Aztec people would be, those are squeaks. If you ever see a tall Mexican, taller Mexican, obviously not 100%, but most likely, through the research I did, those are coming from Europe. Those are when Spain conquered. It's those, they got those tall genes. But the little squeaky ones, those are usually derived from the ancient tribes. So they were just squeaky people. Yeah. Like, like I was saying, Mike's probably got the history of Mexico in his blood as you

know, his last name is Suarez. So he's probably got like a mixture of mestizo, like indigenous Indian and some sort of Spanish conquerors. Like Sergio did the 23andMe. He's a Puerto Rican kid, but his blood is 100% Portuguese. He has no mestizo in there. So a lot of the kids down there in South America and Latin America, a lot of those kids are just descendants of either a mix of mestizo and European or strictly European or strictly mestizo. Yeah, it's fucking mestizo. What can you do?

I mean, yeah, listen. I mean, I'm – And the mestizo yeah it's fucking mestizo what can you do i mean yeah yeah listen i mean i'm mestizo are basically native americans they're indians they're uh and they're the descendants supposedly of asian kids they're eastern hemis who walked over the bering strait and walked down their genetic codes suggest that they came from asia and they they walked cuz and when they walked they probably did it barefoot. They stopped a little bit. Because it's all the white man's fault. That's the motto of every podcast we do is if, when in doubt, just blame it on the white man and you're good to go.

That's all you got to do. Because do you believe the Aztecs maybe created an early game, early version of basketball? Yeah. I mean, the kid, they created an early game of basketball. They loved chocolate. I mean, they were black kids. I mean, you know, they created an early game of basketball. They loved chocolate. I mean, they were black kids. I mean, you know, it's just what it is.

The early game of basketball, which was you could only use your hands. You could only use your hips and your feet, and you would kick it through a whole circle that was on the wall. A good movie to watch to learn about them is Apocalypto. You ever seen Apocalypto with Mel Gibson? No. Yeah, I mean, Apocalypto you ever seen apocalypto with mel gibson no yeah i mean apocalypto is a wild fucking movie they show um i don't know if it's actually about the aztecs but it's about like the ancient mexican you know people that lived on in mexico yeah

supposedly they had a rubber ball and uh they would pass the ball around using their hips shoulders heads and knees almost sounds like soccer a little bit and historians some historians believe the game was used in preparation for war um and it was preparation yeah it was it was it was used in preparation for war and it was wild because here's a if the winning team not the losing team the winning team would be sacrificed and killed at the top of the mountain which is fucking wild yeah i mean you know in these civilizations, they did a lot of great things, but also life was brutes magoots. It was brutes magoots, and like anything else, they were

able to convince, they were able to the only way to get people to fight in wars and to even be willing members of the human sacrifice is you promised them the bullshit in the afterlife. So if you died in war, then you went to the top level of the afterlife. If you died by drowning, you went to the underworld, the bottom level of the afterlife. If you died by drowning, you went to the underworld,

the bottom level of the afterlife. So kids didn't mind going to war. They just didn't want to get in a pool with no swimmies on. Yeah. That's just what it was. The kid Cortez, when he landed, also, a lot of people have this myth that it was just like a couple of hundred conquistadors that conquered the Aztec empire.

That's not true. What he did was, Cortes was a smart kid. He made alliances before with about, I mean, I think it was maybe like a thousand. So when he marched on the Aztec Empire, he had probably about 600 conquistadors. He had cannons. He had some prehistoric guns.

He had fucking bows and arrows. He had swords. And he also had a massive army of allies that he had made with other tribes who were enemies with the Aztecs that lived outside of the bounds of the Aztec Empire. So he didn't do it alone because he was a smart diplomatic kid who, much like the Europeans did on the American continent, made an alliance with other tribes to take down the Aztecs. Yeah, fucking smart. I mean, smart, smart. If you ever get a chance. And then after he killed Montezuma, he fled because there was a riot.

They were trying to kill him. He was able to fight his way out. And while he was gone, what happened was smallpox that had been brought to the continent decimated the population. Between 50% and 90% of the Aztecs just died from smallpox that had been brought to the continent decimated the population they up between 50 and 90 percent of the aztecs just died from smallpox so when the europeans came back i mean it was easy pickings cuz it was easy pickings i mean it was just one of those things it was the fuck it was you know it was their version of corona i mean they all they gave them the rona and then they

came and swooped in it's just what might happen here, you know? Yeah, I mean, that's just what happened. The germs took them out, and then from there, more conquistadors came after Cortes, and Spain just kind of took over, took over the Mayans, took over the Aztecs, the Inca, and it was a wrap. And from there on, the kids were playing basketball like Pau Gasol, and it's just what it is. Yeah, it was probably just – it must have been funny, for like the Aztecs to like see the Spanish conquistadors come in and then them just cut like Hernan Cortes and just, he came in and just said,

we are your leaders now. We all lead your people. We're their leaders. And we're just these fair skin kids who are wearing metal clothes. I mean, the kids had metal clothes. Metal clothes. We're from Spain and our clothes are made of metals.

And yes, we're going to have- Can to imagine what the fucking swamp ass would be. I mean, the swamp is bad when you go to Mexico and you're wearing jeans. Can you imagine if you were fucking wearing a metal suit? Oh, my God. It must have been fumes for fucking days. Fumes, fumes, fumes. Now, and I'm sure, unfortunately, I mean, some of those, when the conquistadors got there, some of those Aztec women might have gotten banged out against their will, unfortunately. Unfortunately, that's just kind of the whole way I think Yanni Paps got here was,

unfortunately, when you look through history, it's just civilization after civilization getting banged out by another civilization. And unfortunately, we all have little things in us where there was sometimes a lack of consent in the sex. Yeah, and it's kind of – it's brutes magoots. It's fucking totes brutes magoots. But it's just the way it was in history. And I'm happy that we're living in a part of history now where that's not happening anymore. Yeah, no, that – thank God we're at this point.

But to get here, it was definitely not a straight line. Sometimes it was an illegal line. Because I got a lot of Turk in me, and I don't think that happened consensually. Yeah, and I'm 100% German, and I don't know why. Yeah, but you're not 100% German. You got some dirty fucking potato monkey in there, and also you got some sauce monkey

in there, just a little touch. Yeah, just a little touch. Um, Bubbers, I think that was a fucking good episode, but what I'm really excited to do right now is read the Patreon names, because make no mistake, we got about 9,000 new... Because we got a new group of Aztec Warrior Patreons

that came on. I mean, you guys have been hitting the floodgates. Like, you can't believe... I think there's like 850 new Patreon names. So we can't get to them all, but Bubba's, I'm going to try. Let's do it. Okay, let me do it. Let's start.

Try to do it in the native Aztec language of Nahuatl. Nahuatl. So as always, if you guys go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, that's where you can get on the Patreon and see all the stuff that we have behind our paywall, like Wepa in the morning, our morning show, Ladder 14, the conservative firefighter Sean Terry, Patrick Mulrooney, and so much other shit,

so much behind-the-scenes stuff. And if you go to patreon.com slash payridgeboys, we will read your name out at the end of an episode. So if you want to make it funny, good for you. We love to laugh. We will give somebody the PPW, the Pseudo Penis of the Week, for the best name. And if you don't want to make a name, that's fine, too.

We just say your name straight to the back, and you're just here for the content. That's fine. Okay? So I'm going to start reading the names. We got a lot, but they're always funny. We make it fun, so just buckle up. And by the way, you guys make it fun because the names are tense. Okay, here we go.

Fuming, Girth, McKillicuddy bringing the crown to pound town. It's who we're starting off with. We're starting off with a banger. Put him on the list already. Michael Matchett, Conor Valadez. Conor Valadez, who sounds like a conquistador. Jason, I thought I was screwed in, but it was just my Theo Ted cleaning me out with his fuck pouch Ferrari.

God, how many are we? I mean, I mean yeah Mikey mark those two okay um Dave Crisp Iman Dibba Vic Jesus Corona or Jesus Corona um Reggie in his cage getting edgy while Vanity pegs me uh yeah I mean you got a listolfo Rodriguez, Amber Segal, Paige Grimes, Juan Sandoval, Patrick Pitter-Patter, my piece till it splatter. That's going to be the winner. Yeah, mark it. He's probably the winner. It's going to be hard to beat.

Because there's 600 more. I know. But we won't get to all of them. We're not going to get to all of them. We'll stop in a little bit, so just don't worry about it. Just have fun, people. Kendra W., Mitch Smythe, Penis McFart, Joe, you too ain't ever going to be on JRE Rogan. Nice.

For your convenience, Patrick LeDuc, Sierra Morgan, Brison Tassano, Scott, Father Bill, touch my character piece. I mean, it's creative. It's good market. Ashley Meyer, Chrissy, eat your booty like groceries for a Claret and D. Nice. Jennifer, bad bitty, big kitty, enjoys Leroy's. There you go.

Put it on the list. Put it on the list. Mark it. Orion Burke, Chrissy, Claret claret indeed give me dick acne nice yeah because calling calling a venereal disease dick acne is intent put him on the list he's on the list uh adam rudy uh oh i'm sorry sorry christ Christina used to be Chris, but I put too much lakeside in. So hold on. Hold on.

Christina, you used to be Chris, but I put too much lakeside in my piece and it fell off. Nice. Good attempt. Adam Rudy. Andrew Loveridge. John Finuccio. Dave the Greek with a little piece. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. Dave the Greek with a little piece. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. Dave the Greek with a little piece, Kraken Chrissy D with my Yanni P ladder 14 character piece. That's a good name. Wow.

Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Benjamin Wunderlich, William Griswold, Chrissy Mayubula is ISIS, and Father Bill's piece is Bradley Cooper from American Sniper. I love it. Put them on the list. On the list. Yeah, I mean, they're all going to be winners. We can't pick winners too many, but we it. Put them on the list.

On the list. Yeah, I mean, they're all going to be winners. We can't pick winners too many, but we're just putting you on a list that means it was good. Yeah. Johnny Salami, Senyani to the Army,

Betro. Nice. Alfred Lawden, Neil McSkimming, Trevor Shords, Chrissy Corona gives me a boner. Nice. Good one.

Christian Conover. Mike Oaks. Whitney Janney. Stefan DeMandis. Jay Toast. Give it up for David. 58 minutes for Richie Lulu. Liv Buck.

Sandra Dee. A.K.A. Amrit Dhaliwal. I don't know. You're wild. Steven Mustache. Think of a swim. Steven Mustache show.

Vanitya said sensitive nipples. I went pewing. Alex. Alexander the Great was Macedonian, not Greek. Fight me. Nice. Nice one. Political statement.

FF, Cuck, Canuck, Chrissy D, and my bass, Mashed Tates. In my face, Yanni P and Lace. Good one. Yeah, I love it. Who on the list? Louis, I have syphilis and love homemade sauce. Mancini. I mean, yeah.

I mean, that's just too good. It's too good. Mark it. Okay. Ian Green. David Espinia Morales. Arnold Schwartzen. Weishan Xia in 2020.

Yeah. Single Eastern Hemi looking for an interracial threesome with Venetia and Marisa. Goody, put them on a list. James Crowley, Zach Mitchell, Christopher Albarico, Mikey Creatine Shits takes

a bad sheet. Wait. Mikey Creatine Shits, Takabayashi69. Okay, nice. Mikey Creatine Shits takes a bad sheet. Wait. Mikey Creatine Shits, Takabayashi69. Okay, nice. Mikey Creatine Shits. I like it. Kevin Maldonado, Carlo Laforte, Jared Novak, Brandon Green, Nav, South Asian Fumes on my peen, Lata14, Bearda. Nice.

Nice. Adam Benabade. I'm sorry. Adam Benabade, Elizabeth,nor turgian peter peter papa manuel i mean that's a greek name p-a-p-a-e-M-M-A-N-O-U-I-L. U-I-L? Papa Manuel? Papa Manuel.

Papa Manuel. I don't know. Sorry. Manolis? I don't know. I'm sorry. Manolis. Michael Russell.

Then we got B from K-Y. Make no mistake, I'll crack open and clean out my cousin's monkey. Okay. Matt Lowe, Hannah Nash, Alex Velasquez, Cody Pritt, Jackson Kohler, Trav likes his salad tossed with sauce. Oh, hold on. Trav likes his salad tossed with sauce-er-dee and feta. Wait, what the fuck?

Some of these names are so hard. Trav likes his salad tossed with sour-dee and feta-pee, na some of these names are so hard Trav with sour D and Feta P nice real nice bad read sorry Javier Parra Vito Rastelli Stephanie Dobson

Panda Mandelain Chandler Goodson Jason just behind that Ienn schmitty yeah i love it i love it austin morgan no fumes with a hairy bassoon real good put him on a lot yeah aaron eastern hemi toot chrissy so cute but he can't lick my shoot because his throat can't handle the fumes. Yeah. Storm. J.M.

Chrissy, I'm not gay unless the Supreme Leader Andrew Stoltz says I am butcher. Calling him the Supreme Leader is funny. Yeah. Lucas, let a squeak get deep. Now my butt cheeks leak. Clayton. Real good. I mean, he said he let a squeak get deep. now my butt cheeks leak. Clayton. Real good. I mean, he said he let his squeak get deep,

now my butt cheeks leak. I mean, this is just, they're all getting so good. This guy's name is Wes Shunchian. Nice. I mean, that's amazing, Wes Shunchian, yeah. Wes Shunchian. I love it. Luke Blaine, Rafferty voting for a potato

for Prez 2020. Flynn, nice. Kyle Rodriguez, Chase Fury, Graham Kelly, Lou, the San Geo. And if I ever see Zach Isis, we're going to have a Middle Eastern crisis. He's the winner. He's the winner. Yeah, okay. I'll read a few more. Brent, I got two last names because I got two gay dads.

Merit, Sissente. This guy's great, too. Mikey, tongue punch, your fart box, character piece, go Red Sox or Mally. Anthony, hey, I'm walking here, Rossi. Nice. Lakeside Maple Beads. Nice. That's what you call original.

That's what you call original. Yeah. Keegan Grantham, Jason Hernandez, Joseph Jordan, Seth, the Southern Twink looking for some Yankee Stink promo. I mean, so good. Adam, Elijah clapped a snack but got clapped back with the clap Lawson. Nice. Anthony, Jorge de la Cruz, Megan McDonald, Nick, Jace,

if you want to build a microwave, just wake up the boys. Laura Carmody, Octavio Diaz, Nicky's dad signed him up for baseball but never came to one game. Lacey, okay, just a therapy session. Dom, spin the wheel, let's make a deal, how to rec-y. John King, sloppy plopper, a.k.a. sketchy rectum. Okay. Then we got Boof for Jesus.

Chris Woodard, Lucas, Cokes, my ketoeto, Toots, My Cardio, Montana. Nice. Nice. Shit, Britches, The Back Door, Gutter Slut, all caps. Chrissy is right. My piece leans right. Trump 2020. Nice.

Okay. Cody Amano, Anthony, The Clyde Drexler Support. I'm sorry. Anthony, The Clyde Drexler Support Group for non-toots, Biscardi. Clyde Drexler. David, the screwed-in-piece, pinned-back-to-my-nutsack Putnam. Sean,

all balls, no dick, Vinagis. I mean, just funny, straight-up funny. All balls. Then we got Q-Nanin, Q-Ainin, I meant to say. Yeah. Just the Q. Yeah.

Well, that's based on Andrew Kananin. Yeah. Olivia DeNovellis, James O'Connell, go back in history and let Benny Frank's glue take me to Poughkeepsie. Nice. Joel. Then we got Binzo and Digo. Edmund Kremper.

Ear Wind. John. Ben. Max and Steuben. Get my monkey moving. Then we got Nick. Don't worry, it's chlamydia, not Corona. Mano.

Nice. Then we got Anthony. Piss on me. Beat me and suck on my pee-pee. Francis. All right. I got about ten more. Ten more. Vladimir Daskalov,

Raj Radia, Mark, Taylor Holman, Brandon Jacas, Clint Henry, Ethan Critchfield, Robert Riad, Cure for Corona is a mixture of Chris and Yanni's glue, Brody Madden, Nathan Tuck It Back for Yanni's glue, Kazoo, and the Cincinnati Zoo R.I.P. Harambe

I mean yeah On the list Yeah So hold on Okay here we go I'll end on one more Robert Scruton, Nonfume, Latka Monkey Williams, Logan Siegel

Dylan Kennedy, Frankie Britt Jake I need to get my dick in the shop because I have Corona cock. Here for the Greeks, Yanni is a squeak, but Venetia is a p-p-p-piece. Nice. Real good. Real good. Then we got Yaz Queef. You skipped Dave Roberts.

Which one did I spend? Dave Roberts. Oh, Dave Roberts. Okay. Plays for the Boston Red Sox. Yaz Queef, Bridget Velez. And then I guess we'll end on this one. Father Bill put his fume skin flute in Chrissy's poop shoot.

That's why Chrissy loves toots. Good one. I mean, did we ever say skin flute, Mike? We just said it. I know, but where did it come from that so many names have the skin flute in it? I don't know. I don't think you guys ever said it. I know they said it in the skin flute in it? I don't know. I don't think you guys ever said it. I know they said it in Dirty Old Men, but I don't know.

I would say there's more skin flute names than anything. How many did we get, Mikey? How many did we bang out? Do you have any idea? Was it 200, you think? 164. So should we go a few more? Let's get to 200.

Yeah. All right, let's get to 200. Okay, okay, hold on. Let me find it. Where did I end off? Mikey, do you remember? Father Bill put his fume skin flute in Chrissy's poop chute. That's why Chrissy loves dudes.

Okay, let me just find it because I closed it out. Hold on. And how many total do we got? Like 875, I think. Yeah, the problem is- We're just behind. Yeah, we're behind because we haven't recorded a fresh episode in a while. And plus, it's a good problem to have because we've got a lot of people joining.

So thank you guys so much for joining, especially during these times. Yes. You support the show you love and you get the gifts you deserve because our Patreon is chock full loaded with content. Here we go. All right, picking up. The Monkey Mover and Hot Glue Hoover. Good one.

Pop out with a Dolma-sized piece, but extra tzatziki. Nice. Corey Del Monte. Jessica, will you still crack me when I'm fumed out Westrick? Okay. John Knizzer. Rita Poon. Ray Castro. and I'm fumed out Westrick. Okay? John Knisser, Rita Poon, Ray Castro, South Texas Steve 16, Dory Healy, TBG here for Yanni P's half-clean smash bean. Oh, God.

I mean, creative points. Put them on a list. Put them all on the fucking list. Nick Dip has al dente bitch hips. Aaron cracked open by a leaky toot with a huge pair of fruit hinds. Joseph Cito, Scoot B, Taylor Ray, Ashley Woods, Joseph Blomgren, Jody Adams, Nate Martin, got a drip off the tip. It's what it is.

Jake, Chrissy Scroodle Poodle going Auschwitz on my noodles. Scott. I mean, they're so good. Then we got Karsten, Bernard Rich, Joshua Yamat, Greg Wanda, Tom Hanks got it from Down Under. Love it. Zach, Aligio Benjame, Lucas Fredreres, Luke Easter, Jimmy the Fumed Up Cuzzy Wuzzy, Keenan Opie,

Archimedes49, Alayna Namy, Jefferson Rojas, Courtney Funk, Jordan, Stephen J. McClary, Molly Holer, 521 Ando, Josh and Johnny Cage, Flawless Victory over Luke Kang Lung.

Luke Kang Lung. Luke Kang Lung. Great. And we're over 200. Okay. Yeah, I'll end on five more. Tommy Davis, Matthew B. Pope, Josh, Luke Coffey, and then last but not least, Chrissy, give me your D while you drink Giannis' pee. Oh, boy.

Yeah, that's more of an offer. All good. We've gotten to the point now where I have to say, don't feel the need to make a funny name. We appreciate it, but if you just want to come for the content, I mean, you're making our lives a lot easier, too. We appreciate you both ways. Don't feel the pressure. We do

encourage you to try to come up with a funny name, because that's the whole point of the game. But at this point, if you just want to come for the content, we appreciate you just as much, because, babe, we got a lot of people who've joined our channel and we appreciate you guys are non-toots that's the highest level rank you can get in the hyena clan by the way cuz it's fucking hyena day today wow happy hyena day to everybody happy hyena day today celebrate those fucking fierce bitches yes remember patreon.com

slash Bay Ridge Boys History Hyenas dot com for all merch and everything and we'll have new dates as soon as the world reopens. And just to reiterate, Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. Eastern, live tune in to our morning show, Web on the Morning. Every Saturday night, we're changing it to

7.30 p.m. Tune in live for our fucking little tightrope walk show with the comedian Dan Soda this week. Peace out. Call no nets. Alright, peace out, bubba's. Outro Music