History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 143 - Bill Burr Returns!

Episode Date: May 1, 2020

We welcome back our new leader, Bill Burr to the podcast! In a reversal, tough hang Billy gives Yanni a long day! He and the cuzzies get into how stand up will come out after COVID, and what fatherhood opens up for all the dads to be! Wild.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ស្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែល What's up, everybody? Welcome to a special, special episode of the History Hyenas. We got the general, the new general over at ATC. Everybody knows him. Our guest, Bill Burr. How are you, Bill? Hello, gentlemen. How's it going? Thank you for having me on. Thank you for bringing us on your team, General Burr. Reichenstaff and Burr. I'm just glad we were one of the 90 people you visited on your trip to LA and you showed us. I saw you guys walking up and down Sunset Strip with your history hyena sign on your fucking asses. I saw it. You did what you had to do. I get it.

Yeah, we're whores, man. We're slutting it out. Every day we wake up, it's just a new scheme to try to get the hyenas out there. We're doing whatever we can. I mean, we're fighting to survive right now. I think you're doing more than that i think this show's a juggernaut so we're very happy to have you guys and i'm very humbled to be a guest

here but i i don't want to start off negative but i mean i chris i gotta go with your co-host here mr fucking gloom and doom if i see one more fucking fucking Instagram thing from him predicting the end of stand-up as we know it. Like, I want to know what 24-hour news channel you're watching. You're old enough to remember 9-11 when they were all like, is anything ever going to be funny again? And within two weeks, the place was fucking packed. Packed. It's Yanni Long Days. Yanni Long Days, it's my fucking packed. Packed. Here's the thing. It's Yanni Long Days.

Yanni Long Days, it's my fucking existence. It's just dealing with Yanni Long Days, and I appreciate you saying it, General Burr. I really do. But Yanni, can you defend yourself on this? Well, think about this, Burr. General Burr, you fucking... General Burr.

Yeah, I'm sorry. General Burr. Mind pure. Think about it. Have you ever thought about this i was saying stand-up is over right and then i moved to the country right before the pandemic it almost looks like i was in on this thing with bill gates who's a vaccine criminal can i ask you a question well what about, what are you looking at that is making you, literally at the height? It's like you feel like you're in the roaring 20s

and everybody's like doing the Charleston. You're like, you know, the market's going to crash. It's going to crash. Yeah, listen. This is an unprecedented fucking like great time in standup comedy where there's been booms and dips throughout the art form. Right. But the difference is,

is now there's the internet and all people want to do is laugh, see people fail and see people fuck. We're on the Mount Rushmore there. People are never going to get tired of laughing. I don't, like, what goes on between your fucking ears that literally, the hand that feeds you, you're sitting there just going, it's over. Does Steve Jobs, did he ever come out and be like,

this is our last great invention? We're never coming up. Computers are over. I could see if you weren't a comedian, but I don't know what jam-packed lines around the block. Would there be ebbs and flows? Absolutely. But you're literally saying that stand-up is done. Like, never again.

He canceled all his dates already for the rest of the year. He canceled them all. This is what it is. Giannis doesn't want to do stand up. He wants to be a podcaster. But Giannis is one of those guys if he doesn't get to do it, nobody gets to do it. So what he's suddenly trying to do is torpedo the entire art form just because he doesn't want to go down and go do a fucking guest spot on a Wednesday. That's what it is. It's a controlled demolition to re-make the whole economy stand up into podcasting because that's the only thing that's working for me right now. I know. I talk to Giannis all day, every day. We do this podcast and I feel like it's going to

fucking end. Everything's going to end. And I repeat my ideas, repeat his ideas. And my friends are just like, Chris, shut the fuck up. None of that is true. What he's saying. I'm like, well, I mean, you do it. Listen, here's the truth. Here's the truth with Yanni Longdays. Is he's, he's extremely, extremely, extremely smart.

So, you know, some of the things he can make you believe it. But then other times I'm like i don't fucking know i mean yanni said that we're all gonna die it's all gonna get in our lungs and everyone's gonna have scar tissue for the rest of our lives and no one's gonna be able to breathe again including the nba athletes who got in coronavirus here's the thing on your cell phone there's a button that says end okay and you have to establish a relationship that when yana starts going down that road that you will just hit the the end button or to hang up whatever the fuck it is just like you you know you're of that age where you're almost out of it where you actually sit

across from somebody while they do this chicken little shit which you know eventually everything is going to end but when it's still going you should go out and enjoy it before the sky falls rather than than than yanni long days man that's one of the most accurate fucking nicknames like i get bummed out when he writes that and i have to walk it off and whisper to myself, fake argument with Giannis Papas, that it's not over and I will still be able to pay my mortgage. No, you're good. It's supposed to be bringing joy, Giannis, and make people forget about their problems, not creating ones that don't even fucking exist. I didn't create the problem. Here's the problem.

Stand-up's obviously going to be fine. But as soon as everyone started releasing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean? If it's obviously going to be fine, as soon as everyone started whoa whoa whoa what do you mean it's if it's obviously going to be fine what the fuck are you writing i mean i i'm just come to that when did you come to that i helped create a virus with with bill gates to to end it so podcast could boom i mean forgive me for being smart and predicting the future yeah did you predict no here's what it is as soon as sidestep that one what did you predict as soon as as soon as they started releasing special after

special after special giving some kids two hbo three hbo specials and they were calling it specials and there was no new name to call what you do and what what chapelle does and what all these experienced comics do that was when we needed to come up with a new name for special we got to call it something else because if you're going to call that a special then you got to call something you got to call what you do something different so people know this is what a comedy special is all right well you're changing the argument right now. You're going from it's completely over to maybe the markets. I mean, I don't want to get into this fucking conversation with you.

It's going to be fine no matter what you think in your gorgeous kitchen and your beautiful house that was all paid for by comedy. Yeah. You should literally be in, what are those fucking things they have down at the docks you know where they always like they bring in like vietnamese hookers and shit and drugs and cars that they're not supposed to sell you to be you know the rednecks buy those things

and they bury them under the ground with like four years of baked beans that's that's where you should be right now saying stand-up is Instead, you are in an amazing kitchen that gets an incredible amount of light. The white wall is making it appear even bigger. I'm tweeting my face in Ruth Bader Ginsburg's body, just to be silly, because I'm doing comedy. And then Giannis is doing, if you don't like my transparent, flawed, unmanicured multifaceted persona don't follow me there's plenty of manufactured accounts that view you as a number

follower not a person go get you medicine i'm interested in building a following of emotionally strong grown-ups hilarious yeah yannis is fighting a one-way war yeah he thinks everybody's out to get him like one of my my main pet peeves is with rappers when they when they say, yo, everybody said we couldn't blah, blah, blah. But then we blew, blew, blew. It's like nobody said that. Nobody said that. Stop inventing enemies. Well, I mean, I got some voices in my head that I need some medication to silence. Yeah, I've always medication medication i have your medication look around that gorgeous kitchen you self-involved jackass you made it you already made it got the girl you got the house you're making money making people

laugh and what is yannis gonna do he's gonna destroy it he's gonna attack you're calling me the coronavirus i didn't do anything the coronavirus did this you're projecting right now because of your childhood i didn't do shit i got no power i've been saying this from the moment i met yannis and started doing this podcast that yannis yannis is a character inside maurice's head that maurice is the real person maurice rodriguez exists in reality and yannis is is just a character as long as mr panos and everyone else but the real one is maurice that's who you're always talking to yannis is going to get arrested for some brutal crime in the future and he's going to be so fascinating to the police psychologists that

they'll put him in that special, special fucking jail where they talk to you and then like nine different scripts get made about like, you know, nine different serial killers. You know that Ed Gein guy? Yeah, sure. Like Texas Chainsaw, Silence of the Lambs, like four different serial killer movies were all based on that one guy. Giannis Pappas is the Ed Gein of the stand-up world. Ed Gein, that's the new nickname. Run with it. Fans, run with it. Giannis Gein. You're wrong again.

What I'm going to do is I'm going to commit the crime and then I'm going to get in the wig and the outfit and I'm just going to become Mauricio so they can't find me. I'm going to move to the Lower East Side and you can look for Giannis Pappas all you want, but he don't exist because he lived down at the Lower East Side with Sergio Chico. You know what's amazing? Every time I do this podcast with no headphones in, right now they couldn't hear it, but usually when I do it with no headphones in, you break into Marisa, my kid's mom thinks it's one of her relatives.

That's just what it is. I've been doing this. I've been doing the podcast every day from where me and my kid's mom used to live. That's where I've been doing it from. So I've been doing this. I've been doing the podcast every day from where me and my kid's mom used to live. That's where I've been doing it from. So I've been doing the podcast every day because we decided to all quarantine together because, you know, of our child. So it's been very interesting to do this podcast. We're doing the podcast behind enemy lines. Every single episode, something went in. She may burst in here right now and hit me with a shoe or something.

So it's just, you know, it's been fun so far i was kind of hoping i was going more tom hanks meg ryan with the scenario that you guys would rekindle your uh your your love i'm really seeing the sadness on your face i don't think that's an option it's possible you never know but, legally, who knows if that could even happen. But we've, we've, you never know. You never know. I know. I just know Giannis. Giannis doesn't want to come near me because I'm living in Brooklyn. And he thinks that if he comes and sees me, he'll get the coronavirus. But what I said is he's hanging out with Verzi, who, who admits he has the, admitted he had the coronavirus. So I don't understand, Giannis, why you're scared of me, but not scared of Virgin. No, no, no, Bernie was never tested. He had symptoms, but he had the light thing here.

Listen, people want to work again when this is over, okay? Don't be fucking going around, you know, making everybody out to be Rock Hudson, okay? Let's try to have a little fucking, you know, little tact here with people's personal lives.

Didn't Paul say publicly he had it? Yeah. I think you guys said that, and then he had to come out and say something. I think that that's what happened. That's what the hyenas do, Bill. Get ready. All things comedy, we're going to eat some shit up. You're going to have to fucking back us out of a few things.

Yeah. You think you had a problem with Ari Shafir? Well, here we are. Yeah, Ari Shafir, that's nothing. That's literally shit. That is shit. We fucking are tweeting at AOC telling her that she's going to be working at Rainbow any day now.

I mean, we're fucking – Those things are true, guys, but Berzy came on and told the world himself on our podcast and then went to Andrew. Oh, he did. Also, he did it first. So it's another thing. Schultz stole from us. Yeah. Now,

where are you? Where are you recording from? Is that one of your closets? I know that's not a room that looks like it's one of your walk-in closets in your new mansion. No, this is a room. Wow.

That's how you stay. Yeah. Yeah. I am. I, I understand how this business works. So I invest my money outside of this business. And I don't, you know, I plan to walk when I'm 70, you know, and then just be a slumlord.

That's what I'm trying to do. I want money coming in outside of this. Once white chicks got the power to just say whatever they wanted even about white guys and that made it was true and i was just like all right fuck this like everything that i'm doing can't be zany money it's i gotta have some shit coming in from the outside i know one of these uh these put upon white women i um you know because we're like hunkering down you know our patrons doing well the podcast is doing well. And I said the other day, a couple last week, I said, you know, to my family, I said, my daughter, I said she could get something on Amazon. You know, she's been feeling long, you know, upset. She can't see her friends. I could get something on Amazon, but nothing too crazy. And this is what our mom buys. Look at this. I feel like fucking Robert De Niro from Goodfellas when that fucking when they came in with that pink Cadillac. Take it back! I mean, look at his fucking

four-year-old's coat. He's got a fucking pink mink coat in the summertime. The label's gonna say Frankie Carbone. Frankie Carbone in the meat truck. Yeah, look, the fucking, last week we were doing the podcast and we had to stop the podcast because Giannis had a deer on his property and wanted

to show all our fans his fucking deer while I'm live streaming this thing from my daughter's classroom inside a fucking closet that smells like adobo. But Giannis is out in the wilderness smoking cigars like two white men. You guys created the fucking disease in the lab. That's what HuffPo

just said, by the way. You see HuffPo just said this is another thing created by white men. This is the coronavirus. No, they didn't. Yeah, it's HuffPo just said, by the way, see HuffPo just said this is another thing created by white men. This coronavirus. No, they didn't. Yeah, it's Huffington Post. Well, that's not a real news website. I like how they try to act like they are. And then when you look at all the clickbait on this side.

Yeah, I didn't even know that website was still going. I hadn't heard anything from them in a minute. They're going big though. I respect that though. You know, they kind of were like, I don't know every uh alternative comics seem to love them they kept saying oh huff poe and millennial women our girl vanitya just signed on our line producer and she's a millennial woman and she's very offended that you said anything negative about huff poe no i don't feel that way oh you don't sorry woke dope you're woke you're dope sorry you know

it's funny though chris i think the cutoff i think you're a millennial technically i'm 35 i think i'm the oldest you can be to be a millennial 19 millennials are like 38 37 38 oh i thought 35 was the cutoff okay so then yeah i'm well within the range of being a millennial. Yeah, I'm 35. Millennials get a bad rap. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they're parents. It's not your fault. You are the way you are, Chrissy. Your parents fucked you up. That's what it is. Well, yeah, my dad's still fucking me up. He's getting

his hands into my bank account, so we gotta make sure that he doesn't know how to get into my Amazon, because he's done it before, and you know, what can you do? Well, you could have a fucking pass word that he doesn't know into your bank account. You could stand up to him and go out mano a mano in the front yard and finally take down the old lion and start running the pride. That's what you can do. That's how Irish guys always settle things in the family. Like the

brothers McMullen movie, they all put on, they all put on boxing gloves and they go, let's not talk about it. Let's go fisticuffs in the backyard. I'm going to go punch my dad in the face while he's on dialysis. First of all, don't let that dialysis act. Every old Don does that. Let me guess, he puts on a bathrobe and shuffles through the village so he can't stand trial. First of all, I'm not Irish.

I'm German. I'm mainly German. So you're right. That's right. Same with me. Yeah. Same with me, dude. I can see that. I see you in that fucking outfit.

I see that. Oh, yeah. You got to shave it a little more there. As soon as the barbershops open, that's what I'm doing. Kelly's heroes. No, I'm not Kelly's. Hogan's heroes doing. Kelly's heroes. No, not Kelly's. Hogan's heroes. Hogan's heroes.

Yeah, Giannis doesn't like the Germans. Well, you know, you guys did a little boo-boo. You did a little boo-boo for a little while. You made a few boo-boos in the world, and then I get it. Well, we weren't fucking sheep in the ass for centuries, so, I mean, you've got to cut us a little slack there. There you go. No, there was a long period where you guys were wearing like straw

dresses running around and the Greeks civilized you guys. Oh, is that what they tell you at Greek church? You dope. That's what they tell us, yeah. And Greece was so awesome. That's why you guys left and came here and made your dumb ass. Well, yeah. I'll be honest with you, dumb fucking Greek diners

and your feta cheese. No one gives a fuck. Nobody sweats the Greeks. It's all about Italy. You know it is. My wife just gave me the finger behind the computer. Germans will never get past.

Germans will never get past World War II. Irish are a bunch of drunks. English are oppressive. No one cares about the Greeks. And everybody knows Italy makes the best fucking food on the planet. That's just what it is. They might have said it about France, but they're a little too fucking stuck up. Along the Mediterranean Sea, you got to admit, fucking Greece and Spain are a little forgotten. We, yeah, I would say Greece is sort of like the Al Bundy of countries, where we always kind of talk about the glory days when we were a high school football star, but now we're selling

shoes. I agree. I will tell you this, though. It looks like a gorgeous country, and I want to go there. I want all your Greek followers to know that I'm not really trashing Greece as much as I'm trashing specifically Giannis Papas. I love you, Giannis. I just wish you could enjoy the ride. It makes me sad. I'm enjoying it. I am absolutely enjoying the ride. You're the king of pushing the car down in front of the horse a little bit, and I love it. Yeah. I mean, don't think I got money. I mean, you know, I bought it on a credit card before Corona hit, and I was like, you know what? We're going to go to ATC and Burr's going to get us on the Monday morning podcast. Our numbers are going to double. So I'm just going out on a limb

and I'm just following my infurer. I love it. I love it. You are a conflicted man. It's all going to end. And you're also, you're doing the depression and roaring 20s all at the same time. I respect that, Giannis. I get it. I mean, I remember even like what was it, 10 years ago, you could turn on any Bill Burr clip, you were talking about how the banks were trying to fuck us. I mean, you were Mr. Doom and Gloom

yourself until you had a- No, no, no, no, no. I'm not, I, you know, if you want to talk about the banks, yeah, you're talking about stand-up comedy. No one's gonna want to laugh ever again and go see a fucking comedian i noticed with bill with all your comedy because i've been a fan since day one the more hair you have the darker your comedy is as you lose hair your comedy gets happier that's kind of what happened yeah i mean because both were because of my age right so i just kind of like what yannis is doing right now

was stand-up comedy which is fucking hilarious i was talking about the federal reserve uh the bilderberg group and all of that and i was yannis i want you to listen to this part i was i was exhausting to be around i was bringing up gloom and doom. I had no solutions and people were just trying to sit there and eat a sandwich or write a set list. I was that guy. And what ended up happening is you became the biggest comedian in the country. And they silenced me. They invited me to the Bilderberg and they said, you became the funniest guy in America. That's what happened. No, what happened was I, yeah, and I had a lot of angry shit about women.

It was all my own fucking issues. And it was fucking hilarious. I know, but you're also a lunatic. So I am a reformed lunatic. Look at me. I'm in the ugliest room in my house. That's called a man comfortable with who he is. Look at you, you lunatic. Look at me. I'm in the ugliest room in my house. That's called a man comfortable with who he is. Look at you, you lunatic.

You did so much blow last night, you got to keep eating so we can't see you grinding your jaw. I've never done cocaine in my life. Oh, that's good. Oh, my God. Chrissy, can you imagine Giannis coming down off a blow? Oh, my. No, it would be bad fucking news. I mean, you've never done blow in your life, Gianni?

Never. Not once. Not once. Yeah, I've never done it either. I've never done it. I like a good stick. I like tobacco. I do like an occasional drink.

Me and Bill once got so drunk when I first started getting to know him through Verzi. It was like I barely even remember the evening. We drank for like six hours. And then I remember it was the funniest thing. It's still like the image of it is still in my head because it was so funny. We were sitting for so long. His wife came down, yelled at him for a second. He was like, yeah, I'll be up there. And, you know, we're still going. It was like six in the morning.

And then we stood up to go get something to eat. And Bill, we hadn't stood up in like hours. We were just drinking whiskey. And when he stood up, he just fell over into the wall. And then we went and got a bagel. And then he didn't remember my name for three years. And then we went and got a bagel, and then he didn't remember my name for three years. Yeah. Well, that was probably your lack of charisma. I'm not taking responsibility for the end, but that was definitely a, I remember that night. Oh, man, Nia was fucking, she was so fucking mad at me.

I hate when they, at what point do you just accept the fact he's not coming home tonight and just leave him alone she had to come down she came walking up like what's her face what do you think you Frankie Valli or some sort of yeah yeah good fellow there's always a good a good fellow's reference always always always Bill let me ask you this since you've been in uh in quarantine what what do you do do you fucking go for walks i mean what what do you do do you are you outside you breathe in air you're one of those guys you won't go outside at all um i've been uh just hanging with my daughter dude i got it to the point i can underhand the ball now she hits lefty throws righty i'm loving it i'm the opposite i i uh no no i throw right left i don't play guitar left hand i'm fucked i'm like kind of both i'm finding she's a little bit uh

amidextrous too and i've been playing a lot of drums that's yeah my my daughter's uh left-handed as well it's it's amazing lefties you say you're lefty or you're not lefty, Bill? I'm mostly lefty. And then I can, I do like sports right-handed, but I can do tools either hand. I play guitar left-handed. I play drums right-handed. I learned how to throw and catch left-handed since I fucked up my right shoulder

and it wasn't that difficult. I just have that weird sort of like, you know, noncommittal, as my wife would say. Noncommittal. That's exactly me too. I'm left-handed, but I play, I shoot right, I bat right, I play ping pong left and tennis right. Yeah, I'm all over the place. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm the same way. I throw right. Yeah, but no you go you go you have sex right and and then you you fall in love left well yeah no i yeah i i'm 100 i'm straight

but i lean gay but i think it could be it could i remember being a kid being in my in the neighborhood i grew up in where like if you were left if you did anything lefty they would be like i left it's gay or you know know, right ears to gay. There was a lot of homosexuality involved in what hand you were using. So I don't know. I think right now I'm right hand dominated for the most part for writing and playing sports, but I do find myself picking up a lot of things and doing a lot of things lefty. Does that mean I'm gay, bisexual? What does it mean? Absolutely. Yeah, I would say that. I would say so too. You kind of look like you just came back from a rave last night so i'm thinking maybe that's what happens when you're bunking with

the puerto rican you just never know you know back in the day if you were left-handed they thought you had the devil in you right because jesus sat at the right hand of the father so if you started right with your left hand like um i believe my mother is left-handed and they she writes right-handed they just she picked it up they just made her right with their right hand right just how it was back then it doesn't matter what hand you left uh what hand you right with as long as you guys are voting to the right that's all we care about here. Oh, you guys conservatives? No, we just, we play around a lot, but I mean, we just all,

we think Trump's hilarious like everybody else, but we don't give away who we vote for. Yeah. I like, I'm left and right when it comes to that shit. Like I have a lot of conservative values when it comes to raising a kid. And then I'm totally lefty when, as far as be who you are. And also,

just because you think something, don't fucking force it down my throat that like, now I have to do it. Like out here in LA, they just passed a law that you can't have gender specific toys or some shit.

Stupid. It is stupid. It is stupid. If a boy wants to play with the football i don't think it's apparently like are you sure you don't want to wear a dress because you want to fucking like you know superimpose your fucking agenda now if your fucking son wants to wear a dress yeah you gotta let him do it you know yeah but i'm just saying but like you don't steer them in that direction on fucking it's's like, and not only,

not to mention that it is such a stupid way. This is my disappointment with the left is that they, they, they became the right, you know, from 15 years ago, ramming everything down your throat. And they didn't learn anything from that, that all you do is just make the other side dig in harder and shit. So I don't know. Let's not talk about that shit. Who the fuck knows? All I know is somebody told me

Trump wants to throw a parade for himself on July 4th, and I think that is one of the funniest, greatest things ever, and I want that to happen, and I hope he makes the rest of us stay inside, and he still does it. And I'm just rooting for, I'm just, do you remember at the end of Carlin's life when he was just sort of rooting

for chaos? Yeah. I'm feeling the beginnings of that. That's what Giannis and I are saying. Why are you giving me a hard time? That's what I'm rooting for. Yeah, we're rooting for the virus. I'll tell you why.

Because you're fucking, you're biting the hand that feeds. You're coming after my business. I'm not biting your hand. Yeah, you are. Listen, when Oprah said red meat is bad, all the cattle ranchers, they didn't just sit around. They fucking came at her and almost fucking took her down. All right? So if you're going to go out there and, you know, I'm all for chaos unless it affects me.

You don't understand how selfish I am. I thought just being a comedian explained that. I mean. Plus, you're also fucking killing it. Look at that kitchen, you fucking gorgeous wife, the fucking. And you're, oh, my God, it's all over. I just want to slap that stubble right off your face. Stop being the sad clown, you fucking jackass.

You're too old. Enjoy life before it's over. Good Lord. You know something? Your co-host, Chrissy, is such a ray of light, and it's going to really make me sad watching you slowly put it out for however long this relationship lasts. Yeah.

I'm going to fucking kill i'm gonna kill myself probably a day before winning an emmy because of fucking janice's twitter yeah you can't do that man you can't go guns and roses you always got to keep the band together no we always will well we i think we balance each other out that's why i think i think that you know i i think that's why it all uh it all works you know yeah you'll get to the point i'll start doing this show and it'll take me like 20 minutes and i'll slowly notice that neither one of you guys is talking to one another directly and you start communicating through the through the guest you must have done some of those in your stand-up career you must have done

those classic you know you know joe and fucking, you know, they've been together forever, the morning radio. And it always took me like two breaks of watching them being like, okay, they're not talking to each other. They sound amazing when they get on the air, but you notice they don't talk to each other. They don't look at one another. And then what I would do is afterwards I would talk to a PA and just sort of, yeah, well, those guys kind of, you know, and then they would get into it. Yeah, yeah. See, they have an understanding that you guys will get this someday. Well, hopefully they'll only be good.

Yeah, no, we're two good friends. That'll never happen. We're two good friends. We'll always be friends. I'm going to save this clip. Save it. Yeah. No, we're friends till the end. We're friends till the end we're friends when it when is that end yannis

when are you predicting that today when is the end of uh everything it's already happened the coronavirus has put everything on lock your stand-up's gonna be fine though don't worry i never knew that my opinions had such a that you got you know you got so affected by them i mean you're gonna be fine this is what it is this is gonna be a tidal wave that's gonna wash away it has nothing to do with me it i get depressed because i hate seeing really funny talented people go to that headspace and i've watched a lot of people mind fuck themselves out of success so that's what it is i care about you yannis not in a fucking go bang a sheep kind of way that you're used to, but I do.

It makes me sad that you could have all that you have. I'm happy you're saying this, Bill. I'm happy you're saying this. Look at Christy. Look at that fucking – he looks like he never moved out of his parents' house. Yeah, I'm having a great fucking time. I got a fucking frozen pillow on my neck. I got glue and shit. Yeah, I'm having a great fucking time. I got a fucking frozen pillow on my neck. I got glue and shit.

Yeah, I'm having a good time. Nothing matters. I've been drinking every fucking day, getting fat. It's fine. You're bringing the light, though. You're bringing the sunshine. I'm trying to bring... Well, I told Giannis.

I told Giannis every day, we just let it go. Be happy. We don't know what's going to fucking happen tomorrow, so let's just enjoy today. That's how I've been trying to live my life i have a positive look on this corona thing what is it there regardless of how much you're struggling there when we come out we all come out of this shit there is gonna be a time where you go back and reminisce that you didn't have to go to your fucking job for a couple of months. Now, I'm not saying,

you know, if you're super struggling with money and you don't know where your next fucking meal's coming from, I'm not talking, but I'm just talking people in general, you know, that was smart with their money. They didn't buy too much house. I think, no, I have been wanting to take a break from this business. I've been going hard for 28 years and I hate to admit this, but I don't fucking miss it. I know eventually I need to get back on the hamster wheel or else I'll go broke. But like, I'm loving being home with my kid.

I'm playing drums every day like I still live at home with my parents. This is just fucking perfect for us. I mean, one of the greatest comedians of all time, known for 100% foot on the gas, 24-7, making shit. As soon as we sign on to his podcast network, he's like, I'm taking a

break. It's fucking over now. Perfect. It's just what it is. Gotta bank on Al Madrigal. I don't know, guys. I'm just finding that other areas of life interest me now. By the way, there's no way out of that contract that you didn't sign. Yeah. I know.

No, I'm in. No, we're in. No, no. Listen, you came to the right place. We're going to do specials. Giannis, as much as you don't want to believe it, they're going to be successful. You can get an even bigger house. You can get another Tesla. You can always live just beyond your means. So that'll keep fueling

you, that feeling of doom, whatever it is that keeps your furnace going. No, I'm telling you, I think you guys are superstars, man. And I watch, you know, I'm a fan of the show and you guys come up with bits. Like it feels like on a weekly basis that other radio shows would fucking you know just ride into the sunset so I think you guys you know it's very rare that two people of your talent can figure out how to get together

and do that thing so I think you're going to do great things regardless of what Giannis says I think it's all going to work out it's going to be a happy ending well yeah no we appreciate it man we're I think it's all going to work out. There's going to be a happy ending. Well, yeah, no, we appreciate it, man. Yeah, we do. We're trying.

And it's amazing, too, how, like, some silver lining in this quarantine stuff is, like, now we're doing a morning show every morning called Weppa in the Morning. And it's like we only thought of even doing that because we had to. And now we feel like that's something that we're going to do forever because we're having – I genuinely look forward to hearing Giannis. I mean, you've never heard a morning rant like a pre-coffee, just rolled out of bed, fucking eggs hanging out of his mouth, Giannis pop his rant. And that's what you get every day on Wepa in the morning. It's just the first 10 minutes of just fucking guns blazing, ripping it.

Even me, who I'm down for anything. I'm like, we can't say that. You can't say that. I know what you mean, but you can't say that on fucking the internet. All right, I got another show I gotta watch. Wet by in the morning, baby. It's been, that's probably,

I think that's been the most fun, one of the most fun parts of this whole podcast is what we've just been doing for the last two weeks. Well, yeah, tell Bill how positive I've been since the pandemic started what do you mean i mean how am i always saying like we're gonna we're gonna flourish in this how great this is how this oh yeah yeah i know jan yeah he's been so he's creating this false narrative that i'm this negative person but i'm not negative at all i'm not saying it i'm just i'm just agreeing with the fuhrer what am I fucking stupid here?

I know this shit works. You just agreed to the Fuhrer and then I tell you the truth on the group chat on the side. But in person, over the Zoom link, you got to be honest. No, but Bill,

he'll... He's slowly going to talk himself out of doing stand-up and say that podcasting is where it's at. And then once he leaves stand-up, then he's going to go into podcasting and then the clouds are going to come over. I'm telling you, it's a pattern. It's a pattern. No, Giannis has said what he likes about the quarantine is that it's giving us an

opportunity to shine and other people who've just been clogging up the road, other comedians, they're going to get the fuck off the road and we're going to go even faster now. That's the doomsday scenario by Giannis and I love it. Well, here, Bill, what do you think about this? So the court, because it became such a boom, you got to admit that with booms comes a lot of bullshit, a lot of shit. So this was like a tidal wave. Why do you choose to focus on that? There's all of this opportunity. Listen, in every fucking business, there's the Carlins, the Pryors, there's the middle acts, there's the open micers, and then there's the people like, whatever made you think that you were good with your hands and could get into construction or

whatever the fuck business you're talking about. None of those people are in your way. There's no reason to, what's his face. Jerry Seinfeld said one time, he goes, the comedy ecosystem purifies itself. You just, you're wasting a lot of energy worrying about this shit. You know, you look like,

you look like that dude from Columbo. I look like, I look like John Stamos. If he was, if he needed a stunt double and he needed someone a little less handsome to stand in for the lighting. I'm not seeing that. You don't see a little bit of, we call him Special Needs Stamos. No.

Oh, my God. I know who you look like. I just bad with actor names. Treat Williams. Mark Ruffalo? Yes. What? I'm the guy?

Mark Ruffalo? Yeah, that's who it is. Here you go. He had a great fucking movie I saw where he played a record producer or something like that. I was just watching that the other day. It was phenomenal in it. Phenomenal in it. Yeah, I've been catching it.

Listen, I'm just joking around here. I don't need you to get off at the end of this podcast and then ruin the next 45 minutes of Chrissy's Day going, do you think he was serious? And then he has to talk you off the ledge in your fucking mansion in Westchester while Chrissy sits in a painted fucking attic, wherever the fuck he is. Yeah, in fucking Sunset Park. That fucked up Batman signal or whatever the hell it is on the wall back

there. It's just not working. It's my daughter's chalkboard we tried to paint on, but I'm fucking not a skilled painter, so. Oh, all right. Well, what can you do? Oh, there he is. Oh, there he is.

Wow, yeah. That's it. Mark Ruffalo. He's a good Hulk. I've been watching the Marvel movies with my family in chronological order, and Mark Ruffalo's a good fucking Hulk. Better than Ed Norton. I don't look anything like that.

I think we just all are swaries look alike to you, Jeremy. And now pull up, and then Mike, also pull up Hannah Gadsby, because that's also who he looks like. Yeah, that's also the one. Yeah, if I shave my beard, I almost look like I just transitioned, no? A little bit. Yeah. Yeah, you're just a guy that looks almost look like I just transitioned, no? A little bit. Yeah. Yeah, you look, you're just a guy that looks like he has a little too much estrogen, that's all.

If he shaves and he puts his glasses, if you look at a picture of Giannis from when he's in his mid-30s, so about 10 years ago, he looks just like Nanette. It's very interesting. It's funny how her name is Hannah Gadsby, but everyone just calls her Nanette. That's a good, that's how you know it was a fucking. That was the name of the special, right? Right, but her name is Hannah Gatsby, but everyone just calls her Nanette. That's how you know it was a fucking – That was the name of the special, right? Right, but her name is Hannah Gatsby. I kept saying, I kept saying, I got to see Nanette's special.

Everybody's talking about it. I messed that up. I'm the worst. I am the fucking worst with names. When you said her – what's her name, Hannah Gatsby? Hannah Gatsby, yeah. I thought that was a former SNL player from back in the 80s and 90s. It might be, too.

Wasn't that somebody who had a name like that? Hannah, I don't know. Oh, no, Anna Gasteyer? Gasteyer, yeah, that's who I was thinking. Yeah. I felt bad for... There he is. Oh, there you go. There's the nest. Wait, go back.

I want to see what it looks like for me doing a dying art form. There it is. It's over. Yeah, there it is. There it is. It's over. Cancel your dates for 2020.

Bill, have you done any of that? Have you canceled any upcoming dates? You're going to keep them on the schedule for as long as possible. I just leave them. And then when the venue says they're canceled, I just go, okay,

it's not, it's not my decision. It's the decision of the people that are going to cure this shit or get a test so everybody can have a test. I think eventually what's going to happen is they'll get a test. There'll be a period where people go to work and everybody has on gloves and masks, which will be a difficult time because what I'm finding in this is people are choosing their own comfort in the moment versus what's good for everybody in the long run. Like there's some people doing construction on the block, my block here, and they fucking, I saw two construction workers. First of all, they were finally wearing masks. One of them had his mask down here around his neck. The other guy had his up on top of his head and they're both sitting there talking to each other. It's just like, yeah, because they're

out of shape. They're swinging a hammer. They're getting uncomfortable. So they say, fuck everybody else. I'm out here working. I'm getting a fucking paycheck. So fuck them. Dude, I live in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, which is like an old school fucking conservative Brooklyn neighborhood. I saw one in the supermarket, outside the supermarket last week. I saw a guy. I fucking tried to get a picture of it, but he walked away. He had cut a hole in his mask and was smoking a cigarette through the hole in the mask, like a fucking idiot. And then I saw another guy in the supermarket wearing a poly prep, which is the high school around here, football helmet as his mask. I'm like, well, how fucking dumb are you that you

have a fucking football helmet on? I took a picture of that. I'll send it to you now, Mike. Yeah, New York is, unfortunately, because you guys are all stacked up on each other, and you just have more of everything, and that includes mouth-breathing morons. So, like, Berzy showed me this thing where some nurse was going to work with all of her scrubs on, gloves, and had her mask down here driving, so she was all right. And then she fucking videoed over to, like, Park Slope, the giant park,

and there's all these people biking and frisbeeing and just acting like it was a giant fucking holiday. So I understand. I get young people doing that because I would have been an idiot if I was young, and I would have done the same thing. Same thing. But my parents would have kicked the shit out of me if I did it. So that would have stopped me. So once again, it always comes back to parenting. It's all childhood issues, isn't it? It's well, it's bad parenting, like those fucking kids that went to spring break.

If I had tickets to go to spring break, I would try and figure out a fucking way to go to because I would have been a young, dumb idiot that would want to go down there and drink a bunch of beers and try to get laid. Right? That's what you do at that age. However, the fact that your parents suck so bad that you'd actually go on camera and say, I'm down here. And if I get it, I get it. I don't give a fuck. And bringing that level of shame to your family name. Like I wouldn't, I might be like, my dad would kick the shit out of me. Like I could never go home again. And just the fact that they had, the ones that went on camera had no fear of that is, you know, that's the fly in the ointment. Why? I don't think that this thing will necessarily burn itself out. They're going to have to get a

test and a cure because people can't, people just don't have it. They've got three days in them. Three days, they can stick to a diet. Three days, they can go to a gym. Three days, they can do the self-quarantine and then it just all falls apart. And then, you know, they're eating donuts and fucking, you know, breathing on people. Every single day at 7pm in New York, I don't know if they're doing it by you, Giannis, but every single day in the apartment complex I'm in, the people, they've been quarantining and isolating all day. And then they come outside at seven o'clock and start clapping for the emergency health care service or for all the medical staff and all that. So it's a nice thing. But everybody just starts talking within

six feet. You start talking to everybody, high-fiving them, going into their houses, drinking, the kids are hugging. So it's like you can't keep us away from each other. It's too hard. That's why I don't blame, that's everybody who's just like blaming Trump like he's fucking this whole thing up. It's just like, all right. It's also like, I went into the grocery store. They literally had an X painted on the floor.

You had the answer to the fucking test. Where do I stand? Right here. People still lazily, sort of on the X, five and a half feet, four feet away. Yeah. Trying to have a mask on, but not really. It's not just, you know, his fault. It's like, you know, it's the whole fucking team. There's too many, you know, if this was like a football team,

the amount of people that would be getting cut would be ridiculous, would be fucking ridiculous. There's also like a segment of the population, you know, the don't tread on me people who've like been arming themselves for this moment for years saying, you know, as soon as the government tells us we can't do something in mass like that, they're going to go out there and protest. They're out there protesting. they don't give a shit they got their their ar-15s around their waist and they're saying you know you can't tell me what to do so we're basically ungovernable as a country we've just been divided if you saw my country dude it's everywhere like that whole

shit where they look at canada michael moore all them, and they presented like this fucking Eden of white people up there. They got their country the same way this country was. The only reason why they didn't get into slavery, it was they didn't have a good farmland or some shit up there. I made that up, but it sounded good. It's the history of Eden. Let's do it. We're Wikipedia slots.

Here is a fact. If you want to know about racial issues in Canada, talk to any person of color that tried to make it as a fucking hockey player the fucking stories they have you're like wait did you play in the 1950s no 2006 so i'm just saying we have a lot of faults in this country but every country does and i don't think every fault of this country is worse than other ones or is because of Obama or Trump or Clinton or Bush. It's just, it is what it is. No form of government works because human beings are inherently flawed. And there's always people that want to have a little bit more and they'll do something crooked or they're just a fucking

sociopath or whatever. I don't know. If you don't think that when the smoke clears that you're going to see that this whole fucking virus was created by Nancy Pelosi and everyone on the ventilator is a crisis actor. You got another thing coming. So if you don't know what it's going to be, if you don't think our fans are going to take little snippets of this episode and put it together to make me look like Theo Vaughn with Bill Burr. You got

another thing coming. If you don't think some of our fans... What the fuck is all the chatter about that podcast? We had a great fucking time and afterwards we hung out I drove my old truck over there. We had a great fucking time. I don't know what the bullshit is about that. I love Theo. I think he's fucking hilarious.

Enough with that shit. I know. People like to create their about that. I love Theo. I think he's fucking hilarious. Enough with that shit. I know people like to create their own narratives. Like they're going to say that. You just did it. Huh? You just did it. Don't say people. You just fucking did it.

I didn't do it. They made, I didn't make the video. You're blaming everything. There was no reason to bring that old stupid non-story up and you did it again in your gorgeous kitchen. Oh, there's your sad wife just like at the end just like i'm sorry just because you know it's remember remember when venetia and everybody

told us a thousand times before we interviewed neil degrasse tyson do not bring up me too whatever you do do not bring up me too and then right at the end of the fucking interview you brought up me too and i was was like, there he is. Yanni the Conqueror. Yanni Longday is coming back. That was a fucking slip at the end. We were talking about something. It wasn't even directed at him.

It just came out. It was like an afterthought. It was perfect. I remember I said it. I was like, oh, fuck. Verzi always uses this analogy with people. Here's one. I'm going gonna use the versi analogy chris how if if yannis was in the mob how quick would he get whacked first to go immediately chrissy we can't have it we can't have it he's slipping to the tongue he's walking

around he's talking we can't have it as soon as he got out of jail just like billy bats he'd be in the back of a fucking trunk no but yanni yanni won't yanni can keep his secret though yanni doesn't open his mouth which is good and yanni doesn't spill other people's secrets there's been certain secrets yanni and i are so close there's been certain secrets he has on other people that he won't even tell me in confidence so i always notice that about him i'll get him a shawarma and a shirley temple and i'll know everything about you well that's good that's that's a good man quality man it is you're fucking mouth shut about other people's goddamn business yeah that's why i tell so many stories and make so much shit up you never know what the truth is with me so that's why that's another quality that's that's why I tell so many stories and make so much shit up. You never know what the truth is with me. So that's why that's another quality. That's, that's the tactic I have. I go the other way. I just, you got to pick which one's the right one. It's a fucking game.

Well, yeah, that's why we balance each other out. Right. Like with Bobby Kelly, I just told him straight up. We're leaving. Yeah. And I fumbled through it. I was like, Bobby's like, spit it out, dude. Spit it out, dude. And then he said, wait, just let us talk. And I said, hey, Bobby, I love you, you know, but because I love him so much, I didn't want to lie to him. Why would you talk about this on this show? Oh, because he did a whole, he invited me on his show,

and he talked about it for 30 minutes. And I took it like a man. All right. I took it like a man because i love bobby personally what are you eating i'm eating fucking all these digs that bill burr's giving me yeah that's what i'm fucking oh i can't wait for the edits on this one i can't wait to the edit when bill brings up race in canada and it's just three white men just listening about what the race problems are in Canada. Cause I know one of our fans is going to fucking doctor that one.

I don't care. Yeah. Honest. It's all kind of a matter place of love. I know. I know. You want to tell your wife for no reason after this, just know that it's all coming from a place of love.

How's the fight? How's things going with your wife from this morning is it better oh you're talking to me yeah you remember because we when bill we the beautiful part about wepa in the morning is we have off camera yannis's wife and and and uh my girl we have off camera uh we call them the weather girl and the camera and the weather girl and the traffic girl. Sorry. And they still, yeah, well, I'm doing the fucking, every time I mention anybody's name, I think I'm going to get yelled at. So we have.

Sorry. I bring the asshole energy. I apologize. Sorry. I just, I'm not used to this. I feel the asshole energy. I apologize. Sorry, I just am not used to this. I feel like Theo Vaughn. This is what the fuck I do. It's what I do.

I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I don't take it personally. Yeah. I don't take it personally. There's nobody I respect more than you. When you called me personally and you wanted us to come over, I called very seriously. I said, I don't give a fuck.

I'll give Bill full ownership of History Hyenas. I just want to go where Bill's at. There you go. Well, just in case that lunatic Bobby is watching, I said that after you met your 40 meetings and you came and talked to one of the guys there. I came in after. And I didn't even know you guys were with him.

I thought you guys were independents. And then you dropped the bomb. This is true. And said, all right, you know, I hope everything's all right with Bobby. And I was just like, oh, fuck. So I texted Bobby. We had a nice conversation about it. All right, before you get everything all fucking.

No, no. Here's the thing with Bobby Bobby Bobby took it very well Bobby me and Bobby are really good friends and he wished us well he loves you everything's fine and uh you know anything we can do to help Bobby when our podcast blows up I'm willing to do it I'm just kidding what I really want to ask you Bill is my wife is pregnant I'm gonna be a dad like how is it being a dad what's how's it being a dad it's one of the few things in life that that lives up to the hype I'm loving this because my my daughter's three and a half she's gonna get ready to start school they start I'm so fucking young now so like I'm losing my buddy you know she's gonna be gone for a couple

hours a day. So this whole pandemic has given me all these extra hours. Dude, yesterday I was out there. We played fucking T-ball. We were riding bikes. Then she went down for a nap, got back up. We swam in the fucking pool for like an hour and a half. I am milking every second of it. And they're hilarious. They're fucking hilarious. There's nothing I can say that's bad about it other than, you know, you're definitely tired a lot. But not until like the end of the day. It's not as bad as everybody makes it out. But as far as being a dad, it's fucking incredible.

And it actually makes you have more empathy for adults. You know, when you really want to say that thing to somebody, then you think, you know what, that's somebody's son. That's somebody's mom. That's somebody's sister. Ah, fuck it. Fuck it. Who gives a shit?

You know what else it also does, Yanni, too? I agree with everything Bill said, but I've told you this, too. It also gets you thinking outside yourself. Sometimes I feel like, yeah, when I look at your Twitter, I'm like, this guy's just fucking stirring inside himself. But those tweets will happen less when you got it. You know, when you just got to watch Frozen for the 8,000th time or watch some cartoon,

and you're like, life's not that bad. You know, it's silly, just silly shit. You'll get calmer, actually. You'll get a lot calmer with the baby. Maybe you'll sleep less. Don't you remember Joe Pesci in Casino? He was going around town whacking people. He still came home.

He made sure his kid had pancakes. You know, that's what it is. Even a sociopath character like that still came home to make sure he was there for his kid. It's going to give you, you know, it'll give you a, it makes a lot of shit not matter anymore. Yeah. Can I ask you this question? Why is it the first time I watched Goodfellas in Casino, it was a great movie, and now when I watch him,

because Goodfellas is my favorite all-time movie, why is it when I watch it now, Joe Pesci is the funniest person in the world and I die laughing? Does that happen to you? No, he is. It's he should have won. If they gave out comedy Oscars, like he should have won a dual, like dramatic and comedy, like what that guy was doing, what they were all doing.

Like, like Goodfellas really is a dark comedy it really is when when when you you watch that like i thought and i find like all of those types of shows when they when they really get it right there's so much fucking you know just inadvertent humor because there was a lot of stuff like the first 90 times i watched it always played serious and then i i watched it a little bit longer and longer and like like the first time you see that scene what did i say don't buy anything what's the matter with you i was nervous for the other characters like oh fuck they they pissed off jimmy the gent but then like when you see uh what's his face going uh the meat locker guy frank carbone get the fuck out of here when he just for no reason takes it out on his girlfriend like i'm laughing not because that's what you know it's funny to

yell your girlfriend what i'm laughing about is that it's like why why are you yelling at her yeah her fault now you're just putting on a show for jimmy like she made you get it which is also making you look fucking stupid. And then also Johnny Rose Peep is my favorite. Oh, it's the best. I fucked up. I'm sorry. The way he's trying to talk and the way De Niro is yelling at him

and that fucking look on his face. I mean, the look on his face, you had to whack him. This guy is just not smart. But the level of intelligence you have to have to get that level of stupidity on your face, he should have got an award for that. That fucking movie, it's

a perfect movie. Classic movie. It's so perfect, and it's, I mean, every time De Niro strangles Maury, I mean, I think the only thing that ever made me laugh that hard is when I went to see Borat in the theater. I mean, every time De Niro strangles Maury, I mean, I think the only thing that ever made me laugh that hard is when I went to see Borat in the theater. I mean, I die laughing when he starts strangling him. How about the fact that Ray Liotta makes the choice his character is laughing because his wig comes off?

I mean, it's just like... It's 10 out of 10. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and like, nobody knew who Ray Liotta was at that time, so how free he was in that movie, working with those giants and Scorsese, like, I think he's like... I mean, I don't know.

Like, not appreciated enough in that movie, the shit that he does. Dude, that fucking thing thing when he pulls in and he looks in the rearview mirror before he goes and piss the whipsack guy yeah i mean i watched that scene it's like i think he really did it it's fucking amazing you know what the thing about uh because you know i used to when i was doing all the film stuff i used to edit and stuff and scorsese's my favorite sc Scorsese started as an editor. So when you watch a Scorsese movie, he doesn't care about matching action at all. If you watch closely,

I mean, it's all rhythm. That's what makes a Scorsese film is the rhythm of the editing. From one cut to the next, it doesn't have anything to do with one another. It's all rhythm. And that's why it's so beautiful. If you watch king of comedy the guy who played maury maury's wigs is in it and there's a scene when de niro's talking to that girl he's interested in and you see maury in the background he's making all these faces and doing all of this shit because there was a whole other storyline where she knew him and you knew that that they knew each other and they were making fun of rupert pumpkin he totally edited that out but left maury in the background making all these weird faces and it made no fucking sense he didn't give a shit and

it still worked yeah it's very musical with him although i feel like the irishman i wanted to like it man i really did want to like the Irishman, but I didn't. You know, you were going so positive. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I think you're really funny, but you had that set down to New York Comedy Club that one time. I mean, did you like the Irishman?

Oh, I fucking love the Irishman. The fact that they made that movie so we all had a chance to say goodbye to those guys, those characters, and the fact that Joe Pesci literally waves goodbye in the fucking wheelchair, I loved it. I love all these fucking assholes who couldn't get past the fucking CGI, but they can go see a goddamn Marvel movie or Fast and Furious where they drive a car through a window of a skyscraper and it lands in the other one 40 floors below. Like, yeah, that I can see. But De Niro, when he was kicking them, he was clearly a 75-year-old guy. Shut the fuck up. Get on the ride or shut up. I fucking loved it.

I think that Joe Pesci is going to have to come back for one more movie, though, and play Dr. Fauci in the pandemic movie. There's nobody else that can play Dr. Fauci but Joe Pesci. Unless you fucking shaved Rhea Perlman's head. I don't know what other squeak of an actor can play that little fucking doctor. And Chrissy, who's going to play Corona? Jackie Chan. Rock and roll thinks comedy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, come on. That's, that's, that's pedestrian compared to half the shit that's been said on this network.

I know. I know. What can you do? But I feel like it's all pre all that. I feel like there's pre pandemic comedy and post pandemic comedy. Like nobody's bitching about the turtles and the straws. And is this gender neutral that, because those are pre pandemic problems. Was there pre the people are going tos and is this gender neutral that because those are pre-pandemic

problems was there pre the people are going to forget all about this was there was wasn't there pre-fucking uh spanish flu comedy in post oh yeah pre-9-11 and post all it is is just after a while it just you know it it fades i'm sure there was pre Pearl Harbor comedy in post and then by the 1950s whatever the fuck was going on people rebelling against that it's gonna be fine everything is gonna be fine it's gonna go back to

normal this is a great time to fucking chill out and just do what the fuck they say and then hopefully it all gets back together soon I do feel bad. I've always been saying that I would never stick my any loved one in a fucking old folks home.

I don't give a fuck if I was living in a studio apartment at this point. There's no fucking way I would ever do that with those fucking jerk offs. Yeah. How's your mom in the old folks home now? Well, she's got,

she's got Alzheimer's. I think that's the best. You're a piece of shit. I'm about to go carry her out and bring her home. Well, go down there

and get her a fucking mask because evidently they're too fucking cheap to at least give those people masks. She's in a, there's a thing. They fucked up. I think they'll do it from now on

because I think that people who run old folks home, look at the the old people the same way prisons look at prisoners they they are things they make money off of those are their assets so i think that they they were such tight wads they wouldn't give them fucking what they needed which was a goddamn mask and then i can speak on this as an authority having never run a fucking old folk home by the way i mean you're giving us a long day right now now now they they just fucking they they now they realize like oh fuck the things we're making money off of are now dying so now they're probably finally giving them masks well now it's interesting you bring that up bill because one i used to be a physical therapist. So I was a physical therapist, which and by the way, I am now legally again, a physical

therapist, my reinstated my license with New York State. So I may just be fucking popping out to give people rehab again. But when I worked at the old folks home, you would see some disgusting shit. You would see like, nurses being like, you know, not all of them, most of them are great. But like, you know, the third time in a row, an older person shit their pants, they would just let them sit in their shit for a little while, because they were just like, I can't keep changing this diaper. And I was a fucking student. And I had that moral dilemma. I'm like, I can't rat anybody out because of the neighborhood I'm from. And I'm fucking stupid. But I also don't want this person to sit and shit. So there was a couple times I just changed the shit fucking diaper as best I

could. But I understand what you mean by that. And also, secondly, you know, I don't know if a lot of people know this, the fucking hospitals are losing money with the coronavirus. How wild is that? They're actually losing money because so many people are afraid to go to the doctor and hospital for elective surgeries and regular checkups that our healthcare system is actually, they're losing like hundreds of millions of dollars since it's all started. Yeah. I mean. I know it's a hilarious take I just said.

Shit is disrupted. It'll get back on track. Everything's going to be fine. Everything's going to be fucking fine. It's a difficult time. Everything's going to be fucking fine. They're going to figure it out. There's people that are way smarter than us that their job. They're going to figure it out. There's people that are way smarter than us

that their job is going to be to figure it out. They got graduated cylinders and they're isolating shit and they're trying it out on fucking pheasants or whatever and they're going to get a vaccine and we'll be fine. We'll be fine. I'm going sunshine here. Where do you think comedy is going

in the future with all things comedy? Are you guys positioning for digital stuff? It's going right down the shitter. Get out now while you can. I don't understand. What are you – I think it's going to be – What's your vision for like comedy? Are you going to put us in the movies or what?

Come on, Bill. movies are one come on i'm going to sit and i'm going to listen to you guys see what you want to do and then find the best game plan to make it happen that's what i'm gonna do if you guys want to i'm writing a movie right now i'm almost done with it and we're gonna make this fucking movie and all things comedy is gonna fucking produce it it. And hopefully it's a hit. And if it's a hit, then we get some clout. Then you guys come at us with an idea and we have a little bit of clout. We can get it fucking made.

Yeah. What about two fucking lesbians that love hyenas? Is there a part for that in there? Absolutely. I mean, if you keep the market low enough, I'm sure there's an audience for that. As long as it's funny,

people will fucking watch it. Yeah. All right. Have you seen the Bay Ridge ridge boys have you seen that web series we did i loved it thank you well it's more coming your way billy yeah michael michael how long i've been in hollywood you didn't even call my bluff i just go i loved it and you go thank you you didn't say which episode yeah i didn't want to yeah i mean i didn't want to delve too deep. I know I've seen it. Is that where you do the cuties with smoothies and you walk around Brooklyn and do all of that? Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, check out the

episode when we said Chris Mullen was my father. Dude, how great was the fucking Big East when we were kids? The best. Did you watch the Jordan documentary? I watched the first episode. I got to see the second episode and the thing that got me fucking amped up and got my fucking blood going the most was when they said that it took them in two weeks of becoming a pro. Everybody on the team knew that he was the fucking best guy on the team.

Like and how he kept saying that I knew that i needed to go in there and establish myself and a lot of people because for some reason they don't show a lot of highlights of him when he still had hair when he had the gold chains and when when uh chicago was written and what do they call it uh i used to call it writing whatever they grabbed in script yeah yeah like that year when you know he ended up hurting his foot but like the explosive level of his fucking game before he put on all the muscle because the uh those fucking cheap pieces of shit in detroit were just hacking the shit out of people acting like they were playing a mind game the jordan rules yeah yeah. Yeah, like, before he got bulked up, the explosiveness in his fucking game. I got a lot out of that as far as, like, just being, like, a comedian.

Like how, you know, when you first moved to New York, how intimidating it is. And then that whole fucking thing. I have to establish myself as not someone that's going to be passed over. Obviously, this guy did it on a way higher level. But, like, I don't know. I just, I got... then that whole fucking thing I have to establish myself is not someone that's going to be passed over. Obviously this guy did it on a way higher level, but like, I don't know. I just, I got,

I got like a fucking charge out of that. Watching him do that. And cause you know that those older guys were like, shut up rookie and being a fucking cunt to him because he was younger and they were older. And then within two weeks he had them all underneath them. I, I fucking love that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he had them all underneath him. I fucking loved that.

Yeah, I mean, he was a tough hang for his teammates, but it's basketball. He was a winner. Well, I like that as a kid, he was smart enough when he saw them doing all that crazy shit. He just was like, this ain't for me, and he walked out. I mean, if he wasn't strong enough mentally and was like, well, this is how I'm going to earn their respect by just going along with them. He went the, you know, I know who the fuck I am and I know what I can do route,

which took an incredible internal strength. And he's like, fuck that. I ain't doing the partying shit. And he walked out and then just dunked on people for fucking two weeks and hit, you know, practically every jumper he took and came back and won games that they were giving up like they lost. And then like, I think within two weeks, I bet those guys on the bench were probably questioning why am I doing blow? Because some 22 year old kid came in and became a mentor to them and they were like 35.

I mean, that's fucking unbelievable. That's a very rare quality to have as a human being at any age. Forget about it, that young of age. Do you think it was born that way or it was like the rejection from high school, which is the myth? I think it's both. I think all of that stuff makes you. And what ends up happening is like you end up, if you go the right route, you learn how to block that shit out and you actually learn how to take negative shit and make it motivate you. So, um, you know, I got a thing now, like after all of these years, cause I, you know, I came into the business, you know, fucking Billy Burr with the fucking orange hair, anything you said to me, I took as truth, and it went, I had no fucking defense, it came right in, and that really fucked me up for a

long time, and I was in, like, a walking depression, because I was just listening to everything that people said, and now I have, like, I've fixed that, and now I have, like, this heightened sense of like, you know, that's probably why I broke your ball so much, Giannis, because I don't want to see you gravitate to that road and, and, and, and mess shit up. Not saying that I thought it was, I'm teasing you about it just to keep you aware that that's not, that's not a, it's not a good mindset to be walking around in, you know, it's not a good mindset to be walking around in, you know, it's not a good vibe to put out and shit. And I was doing all of that.

And it wasn't until I kind of learned how to fucking block that out. Now, like I literally, like I freak my wife out now with that shit. Like I'll see somebody and I just see the look on their face. I'm like, you can't get in business with that guy. She'd be like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I go, no, but look at his shoulders. Look at his fucking forehead. I'm telling you, he's get in business with that guy. She'd be like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I go, no, but look at his shoulders. Look at his fucking forehead. I'm telling you, he's going to be bringing that every day,

and I'm not shoveling that fucking wet snow every fucking day. I want somebody coming in, holding their fucking head high with belief. You know, you start to spot like that type of shit after a while. So I don't know. It takes a long time. I talk so long, I forget what I'm saying no i know you're saying it's like being self-assured not letting other people influence your confidence and just your confidence comes from within not from someone else telling you who you are tom poppin told me something great one time where he he was he was moving from new

york to la and all of these cars oh, you know, LA's tough. I don't know. A lot of people, blah, blah, blah. And what he said I learned is whenever I made a big decision in life, getting married, having a kid, moving to LA, that people's reactions, so much of it had nothing to do with what I was doing. It was all their emotional reaction. What they were really saying was like,

oh, fuck, you're going to go out to LA? Should I go out to LA? Are you going to be successful? Are you going to get what I was supposed to get out there? So then because they're freaking out to make themselves feel better, they start shitting on what you're doing. And if you're not aware that that's what they're doing, then you take that in and you might not go to LA or you might change what you're doing. So I never forgot when Tom told me that. I never forgot that. And like, I use that a lot where I'm like, all right, is this person saying this shit because this is actually true? Or is this just them emotionally reacting to whatever the fuck it is I'm saying? Because if that's what it is, I'm not even going to pay this any mind because it's going to fuck up whatever I'm trying to

achieve. Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying because it took me a long time i've actually never felt more confident than now it took me too long but i'm just happy that i'm in a place where i'm self-assured i'm positive what i'm doing i'm optimistic and i just feel confident that's great to hear chrissy you buying that you um no yeah in a way yes and then i'll also read you and then i'll also read you some about the last text i've gotten from yana so with all that being said in conclusion uh here we go we got a beautiful uh text from you know i was having a great day see because everything you guys are saying i you know i have a child i'm i feel so great i know that confidence comes from within.

I feel blessed every day. If you took my career away from me tomorrow, I would be so happy at the opportunities I've been given. And I wake up with that every day. And then at 8.15 in the morning, beautiful Sunday, just two days ago, be safe, murder, suicide. This is from Giannis. Be safe, murder, suicide, through the roof roof stories are about to get wild 25 million unemployed americans at present with no prospect for money crime is going to happen and suicides are really ugly stuff and it's going to happen to all of us people are in so denial they will be blindsided um i cannot i cannot uh stress this enough be careful out there if i were you i'd get out of the city and buy a gun. Have a good day.

Yeah, but that's jest. That's me being jestful. Well, no, then you sent all the... And also links to gun websites. So... If that's your jest, then you're a fucking jester, baby. Because I was going to have a nice walk in the park until I sat for the rest of the fucking day in my bathroom with the toilet. I got to pull up to the Christmas tweets.

Woo! Here we go. Guys, I didn't want to do this. I don't want to drive a wedge between you. I'm trying to fucking keep it positive here. You know what it is, Giannis? I think he just disguised the joke too well. And even seasoned comedians can't even see where the joke is amazing it's amazing i mean you know you got to be careful

during you know when economic downtimes get yourself a gun is what i'm saying get yourself a gun get your antibody tested all that stuff all right bill well we appreciate you coming on man all right i fucking love you, and I'm so psyched to be working with you guys, and I'm really hoping we can do some great things, make some specials, make some movies, TV shows, whatever the fuck you want to do. And whatever

help you need, let me know. Give me a buzz. Happy pandemic, everybody. Stay positive. Thanks for coming, Bill. Thanks for coming on, Bill. All right. We'll see you. Love you, man. on, Bill. All right, we'll see you. Love you, man. Au revoir. All right, Ian O'Brien.

Then we got Name is Required. Then we got Ladder 14 Inches Three Times My Piece. Okay, got it. Yeah, nice, funny. Then we got Mikalina Dizina, Pedro Querell, Christian Kina, Nick Ahrens. Then we got Tony from the Island Essential as fuck

keeping it tucked you know it's funny since this Michael Jordan last dance documentary everyone knows who Clyde Drexler is and they've been DMing me just everything

I write they just call it they're saying Drexler Drexler Christina Catalano Scott Lyons Chrissy Kramitin Call Callum Davey, Heather Dugan, Jagdeep Eskarada. Nice.

Alfred Elon, Kate, Blake Preston, Blake Kate, Jason Chalk, James Pequero, Mikey Prusikowski. Nice. Polish kid. Yeah, we got Lukasz brought him in. Mikey Prusikowski. Yeah. Then we got As we got Lukasz brought him in. Mikey Prusikowski. Yeah. Then we got Ashton, the ex-block me, Duncan. Nice.

Then we got Juan, fold me in half and push me through, FF. Yeah. Ten. Then we got Steve Schroemeyer, Steve Schroheimer, Kari R. Delaney, Blake Rutter, Jace Chrisman. Then we got Linda, might be Chris's mom, but crack me open anyway, Costa. Yeah. Yeah, 10.

Lynn's going to get mad at that. Austin Stevenson, Christina, Abraham Perez, Sean Burns. Then we got Javi, the fumed up cute half situation. It's an FF piece. Giannis, let me sit on your glasses. Put him on the list. Put him on the list. John Hill.

Then we got Nick, Chrissy's tucked weenie makes pon... Hold on. Here we go. Nick, Chrissy's tucked weenie makes papa honest squeak weenie makes Papa makes Papa Honest squeak peenie a brute grouse okay I don't know it's tootin'

I think there's some misspelling there sorry kid took a cut and missed Seth Rodier then we got I'm a toot you're a toot we're all toots yes love it Tony Michael Lopez Robin Harris Peter Stolba Mark fuck you muzzy okay, fuck you, Muzzy.

Okay. Mark, fuck you, Muzzy, Muddakuzzy, Mally. Okay. Then we got Troy, a cute German piece who wants to shoot glue at you with finger tattoos. It's what it is, yes. Put him on a list. Obviously put him on a list.

He's on the list, yeah. Ryan Lawrence, Olivia Hunter. Then we got Noelle, I'm a nurse who would pewing if I could pop your penis pimple. My husband's concerned about me, meanie. I'd throw her on the fucking list and give her the title. Wow. Yeah, my husband's concerned about me.

He's a 10. Howard Williams. Then we got Pastor Johnny Quarantine. Michael Santo. Nathan Gore. Here for the content. It's just their name. Chris Jordan.

Josh Simmons. Then we got Double D Dana with ya-ya's like Giannis. Then we got Lou. The Jews control the weather. It's what it is. Menotti. Lada 14. Okay.

Then we got Kevin McCowan. Then we got Cleveland Toot, ready for Chrissy's Glutes. Sam Dietz. We got Hey Bert, It's What It Is. Then we got Make No Mistake, Dane's doing yoga from 10 to 3, so after Chrissy D sits on his knee, he can sniff the clap in HPV. Yeah. Put him on the list, obviously.

On the list. Then we got Matthew Menard. Then we got Invincible. We got Kelly Labrousse. Labrousse. Then we got Kevin McEnroe. Gunky Toot. Frederick Sharland. Jonathan Jackson. Then we got

Juan Transracial, because I got a facial long, Lang. Okay. Kenny the Weeder Boy. No, Kenny the Wurder Boy. Kenny the Wurder Boy. Yes, buddy. Good. Drexler.

Okay. Then we got Benny Quarantine, clean, Chrissy's peen with Listerine, and take my rectal temperature. Really good, but Drexler. Drexler. Okay, wow. The Drexlers are getting harder. Yeah.

Okay, then we got Portagee roast beef meat flaps, heavy fumades. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Roast beef meat flaps. And then it was hashtag heavy fumades. Yeah, put them on the list. That's a big one. That's probably the winner.

Yeah, then we got just here to find out how much to see Chrissy get naked, tuck, dance to Goodbye Horses and say I'd fuck me. I'm on a list. On the list. Then we got Andrew Deneath, Tyler Sloan. Then we got Decent Peace

clapping cheeks. The bag of lakeside maple is in time released. Yeah. I'm on a list. Sloan. Then we got Decent Peace Clapping Cheeks. The Bag of Lakeside Maple Isn't Time Released. Yeah. What about a list? Then we got Charlie Collins, Bailey Grandino. Then we got Izzy Straight to the Back of Chrissy's Ass, Enriquez. That's a good one.

Then we got Trevor Harder. Then we got Tim Dillon's little twinkie-chew. Good one, but Drexler. That's great, though. Yeah, sometimes you got to rate them according to the ones who've made it in the list. Then we got Jackie Hopkins, Doug Kopp, Conrad. Then we got Lord Stock and Two Smokin' FFs.

We got Dommy, Could be the next situation, babe. Wami. Nice. Then we got Garrett Brackbill, Haley Rentmeester, John Juganet, Tariq Melbourne, Christina J. Simpson, Lee Slater, Ryan Fitzgerald. Then we got Tommy, my gumades, fumare, made me pyoing, and I'm not talking about those Eastern Hemis. Okay.

Domino Liz. Then we got R.A., Blake Pierce. Then we got the ultimate peacemaster. Then we got James. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Originality points.

The original peacemaster's gone on the list. The ultimate peacemaster. The ultimate peacemaster's gone on the list. Yeah. Then we got this guy spelled his name. This guy is James Al-Tutcher. So A-L-H-A-T-T-U-T-E-cher. Al-Tutcher.

He's on the list. The originality goes on the list. Then we got Crystal B. Then we got Kobe Bryant, our lord and savior. Turner into soap. Oh, boy. Okay. Yeah.

No. Can't do it. Then we got Terry. As long as I have a face, Yanni Chobani will have a seat. Chiavo. I mean, that's the winner. I mean, and Terry Chiavo. You know Terry Chiavo, right? I mean, that's wild.

I mean, I think that's a nomination for best one of all time. Okay. Then we got Cody, John, Owen, Graham, Wolf. Then we got Becky, Spear, Matthews. Then we got Josh, Darwin, Red the Beard. Then we got Nikki Nuts tucked in butts when Chrissy poos around, make no mistake. Good try, Drexler.

Andrew Armstrong. Then we got Patty Cakes on Yanni's face. I mean, everyone's going after your face. Patty Cakes on Yanni's face. I mean, everyone's going after your face. Patty Cakes on Yanni's face. Drexler. Then we got Stephanie was a salute to not throwing cash for Chris's fat ass Mitchell. Okay. Goody Drexler.

Then we got Matt. Got a full tank but still running on fumes. I like that one. Then we got Paul Bryce Ivy. Then this guy's name is I Just Got AIDS. I Just that one. Then we got Paul Bryce Ivy. Then this guy's name is I Just Got AIDS. Funny, the past two are good ones. They're Drexlers. I Just Got AIDS is great.

Nice laugh. Then we got Nina Wadhama. Then we got Mitch, longtime listener, finally gay enough to spend $5 yeemans. Okay. Samantha LaCapra, Samuel Leff, Michael Blando, Mason, Chrissy Gimme a Kissy, Rindy, Bilal Raja, Chris Etheridge, Jack Miller, Naomi Coral, Jessica Wilkes, Brandon Rotzi, Storm White. Then we got Giovanni, I'd Like to Toss Some Raisins in My Meat Sauce Marinelli.

Then we got Dex, Holly Chris Corsini, then we got Demand, then we got suck the wart Out of Chrissy's ass in Houston Yeah, gross Elliot Ruiz, Josh Bumont, then we got Dan, I don't care about COVID-19, I'll still flick your bean

While in quarantine, Falco Put him on the list, put him on the list of the originality. Then we got It's Christopher Lance, Blake Davis. Then we got Kelly, Moody, Cutie, Tired of Giving My Huzzy Quarantine Booty Sikorsky. Bless you.

Bless you, Mike. Bless you, Mike. Jesus. Mike, are you with us still? Yeah. Then we got Johnny, Nothing Against Jews, But I'll Hop Cyclone, Beef Fumes While Chrissy Crout Plays us still? Yeah. Okay. Then we got Johnny, nothing against Jews, but I'll hop Zyklon, beef fumes while Chrissy Kraut plays my skin flute. Okay. The skin flute thing is mind-boggling to me. Then we got Kaylin, Kat, Sarah Sinney.

Then we got Chrissy, got a lap full of strings for the History Kings. D, nice. Then we got Richard Denke. Then we got Brendan, crack and clean my shitter like an apple fritter ruckle. Yeah. Drex. I like it. Then we got Yanni Career Dips.

Colleen. Put them on the list. Originality. Originality. Then we got Colleen Dixon, R, Hans, Stephen D'Souza, Scott, Matt Becraft. Then we got Chrissy, dreams of D while on antihistamine. We got Beto, Tina Marcelli. Then we got Alex.

I only joined in hopes of seeing Chrissy's quarantined penis on unedited videos, Rogers. Okay. Then we got Travi. I can crack them open, but I can't clean anything out because I've got a small piece foster. Who was the last big one? Then we got Danny Drippy Dick. Then we got Mike Voss, Robert Stratacan, Strachan, J-Man, Jamie Dang.

Then we got Seaman Demon, Gonna cream in some toots, Freeman Nice Then we got Matt Chrissy Puss and Yanni Pien Are making me survive this quarantine Tough dough Caitlin Laracchi Larassi

Then we got Eric the Irish Kid Who loves Sofrito and Puerto Puss Keller On the list On the list Irish Kid Who Loves Sofrito and Puerto Puss Keller. On the list. On the list. Then we got Henry the Aussie Cousy, Chrissy Gimme Your Thunder from Down Under, Meter. Then we got Devin

Arguelles, Nissan Sentra. Somebody put their name as Nissan Sentra. Then we got Jack Chaykin. Then we got Ivana B. Cracked Open. Wait, that's original. Ivana B. Cracked Open. Put her on the list for the originality points.

I like it. Then we got Chrissy Longcox. Want to tongue punch your fart box? We got a lot of fart boxes. Yeah, that one we've had. Then we got Reed Lutcher. Then we got Nigel the cocknady and mason um then we got uh uh kevin nelson ac slater robert tanzola then we got ira can't get corona because this kite's got

mozza balls and steel okay yeah put him on the list. This kid screwed in. Then we got Gabby, Zachary Kane, Michael McCluskey, Elliot Jordan. Then we got Witch Hazel, clean, no fumes, Vagine, ready to be budged. Okay. Witch Hazel, clean, no fumes, Vagine, ready to badge bang ladder 14. Nice. It's a good attempt, but, you know, it didn't – yeah, I mean, it didn't connect. Nice. It's a good attempt, but you know, it didn't, yeah, I mean,

it didn't connect. Okay, Matthew Smith, Magina, Mary Beth Barry, Sam of the Wuhan Clan, Poughkeepsie Chapter Can. Nice. Good attempt.

Good attempt. Wayne Thornburg, Thomas Jusin, Chris Strait, Jakey, Jakey, Wake and Bakey, My Girlfriend's a Piece

Who Greases My Crease Yas Drexton Then I got Dana I Love CD Size Soggy Pizza Bagel Nipples Horin Okay

Then we got Quentin Quarantino Quentin Quarantino Yes Put him on the fucking list Yeah I don't How many more should I

How many are we up to, Mikey? Yep. We're at – we've done about 200. Okay. Is that it then? Yeah. Okay, so we'll stop at Quentin Quarantino. I'll do five more so it seems natural.

God, I'll do five more. Okay, so we got Anti-Fartbox999, Maddie Nontoot, Rubberless Puss Diver, Two-Time Chlamydia Survivor. Put him on the list, obviously. Then we got Hunter Quilici. Then we got Yanni Banani, Full Fume Pugani. I'm sorry.

Yanni Banani, Full Fume Pugani, Big Greek Bush Smellier Than La Touche. Yeah, Drex. Tom Whitlock. Then we got Darian. Maurice is a character piece of the situation. Ashley, Russian Rocket. Matt Milgarelli.

Tiffany, Second Sex and Going to Westchester Hills Rice. Juana Villar, Adelfo Ramirez, Justin Strang, Amanda Elschke, Will Fies, Pete Doface, Lisa Steele, and then we'll end on the cracked open and cleaned out Canadians. So we'll stop there. Now, here's the deal. If you make it on the list, you win because one day down the line in the future, we're going to take all the ones on the list and pick 100,000 winners. So you guys are all fucking winners.

If you made it on the list, you won. Unbelievable list. We thank you for your service. The history of Hyenas. Thank you, Babas. Love you.