History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 15 - AC is WILD!

Episode Date: May 20, 2018

The history hyenas talk about the upbringing of Atlantic City and how it became a party spot as well as Chris's recent trip as he makes his triumphant returnWant more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, Cousy Wazzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. So very recently, during the whole Harvey Weinstein scandal, Weinstein was compared to a hyena. And this is one of those instances where I just sort of shook my head

and just thought, well, that is just about the most least appropriate animal to compare Harvey Weinstein to. to a hyena was because they are seen as these, you know, aggressive, unpleasant, cowardly, malicious, malevolent creatures. The truth about hyenas is that they are really, I think, more like the feminist icons of the animal kingdom. They are, the spotted hyena is an extraordinary creature. They are the original chicks with dicks. Yo, what's up? How you doing? What's up to the Matriarch family out there? We are both back in studio. We got the queen, King Gay, Chrissy D back.

Whoa, suck a dick in Europe. Yo, you came back gay, no? Yo, I came back gay. I came back gay. There's no hyenas in the UK. There's fucking zero. Actually, no, there are a couple of hyenas I found. There's a couple of BRGs, Bay Ridge girls, that I saw in fucking London town that I'll

tell you guys about. Cute. They're cute. You had a couple of girls come up. Fans of the podcast? Fans of the web series? Fans of the pod. Fans of the pod.

Fans of the Bay Ridge Boys web series. And they said that in London, the Bay Ridge boys just sound like Americans. Yeah. They're like, we didn't know you were doing an accent or a character. They were like, we just think that's how Americans sound. Yeah. And I'm like, what? Kid?

Yeah. We have fans from all walks of life because we are true blue matriarchs, so we don't discriminate by gender, by rise, or by socioeconomic status. Even though it was last week, I just want to say happy belated on air, happy belated Mother's Day to you, Giannis, being the queen matriarch and being all our mothers. I appreciate it.

You know, it would have been nice since Mother's Day was coming this weekend if somebody had really baked up a pseudo penis cake. I mean, still, I'm going to ask it every single day. I mean, are you telling me that there's not one person out there who owns a fucking bakery listening to this goddamn podcast? I mean, we had a doctor

on the phone looking in my ass in five minutes. You're telling me not one of you people, not one of you fucking hyenas roaming around these great lands of planet Earth don't own a bakery or don't know a friend who owns a bakery who can bake me a pseudo penis cake? Look bake me a pseudo penis cake.

Look, if a pseudo penis cake is too strange to figure out what the shape of it is, then fucking bake us a hyena cake with a pseudo penis. That's it. Just give a little penis to the matriarch and put it in a cake form. Just any picture you find of a hyena, just Google it, a picture of hyena, make that into a cake, and put a pseudo-penis coming out of the top of its head, and I'll fucking eat it. And then we will invite you in, and we will fucking eat

the pseudo-penis together in a ritual of fucking wild. Whoa. By the way, did you listen to Rafael DeLuca's new sound mix? I did. Yeah! Rafael DeLuca, I mean, he keeps putting the pressure on, which is great. The way that he sifts through all our content.

He's a true fan. Because he mixes things from our web content that we just do on our Instagram, with our podcast, with quotes from the web series. I mean, this guy's sifting through hours of footage. I almost think the real reason he came to the studio last month was to get samples of our DNA. I really think that he tried, you know, because if you notice, we didn't throw away our smoothies.

He said he'll throw them away. So I think he took some of our DNA, took some of our saliva, took skin samples. He's up to something, Rafael DeLuke. Well, he's a smart kid, right? Went to Harvard. Yeah, so you know, he's up to no good. Yeah, great something, Rafael DeLuke. Well, he's a smart kid, right? Didn't he go to Harvard? Yeah, so you know, he's up to no good. Great kid, though, DeLuke.

I'm going to show the, I'm going to just give the quick fans a little sample of another. I mean, I don't know if Rafael DeLuke has a job, but he's got a lot of time in his hands. Yeah. And listen, DeLuke, we know you're listening, and we fucking love it. Well, thank you. Keep doing it. And again, go to our

bay ridge boys um facebook group and check out all the amazing memes but here is the newest by rafael Wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, outside. Isn't that fucking wild? You're a good kid. Wild. Yeah, my ass and hips could be the whole village. I could live off you for a while. Fucking kid, what's moving? You feel good, you fucking hyena? There we go.

There's the ref for a DeLuca special. Fucking DeLuca. DeLuca's really,lec-a-Luca special. Yeah, fucking DeLuca. DeLuca's really, he's a true blue gay every week. Cuz, I want to ask you, I was gone for 13 days. Yeah. That's the longest we went without seeing each other. Yeah. And I just want to know how you felt.

I feel straight now. Yeah? Yeah, I felt straight for the last 13 days. Yeah. So now that you're back, I think it's time to go back training. Got to put on a little weight? Nah. I mean, with you, it's always hard to tell.

Right. Because here's the tricky thing about the way your body was put together. Right. Your weight doesn't go into the face at all. Zero. Which is tricky. It goes into my hips. It goes into weird feminine places. Yeah.

It goes into like, it gives your tits a little bit more girth. Yep. The anteater, like, you know, they should do like, you know how they do to figure out the weather? They do weather the groundhogs coming out? Yeah. They should figure out like what the climate of comfort in America is based on how south your tit is pointing. My fucking, my tit.

Because the more south it goes, the more bad the food is here. Because I was in Scotland, great country. Food's terrible. Terrible. Yeah. I mean, I can't, it's, some things were, you country. Food's terrible. Terrible. Yeah. I mean, I can't. Some things were just not edible.

I mean, I tried to get a burger out there, and it was like, I mean, I thought it was hyena meat. I mean, it was fucking tasted like the chef threw it up onto the bun. I mean, some things were decent, like the fish is okay. But I mean, it's- You got to get it fried though, right? Yeah. You got to get fish and chips fried. And everybody's walking around.

The Scottish accent. The Scottish to English accent's a big difference. What are you doing? I couldn't even understand the words that they were saying in Scotland. It comes from the fucking... It was coming from their organs. I understand perfectly.

You do, right? It kind of comes from the same place. That's how we sound. Yeah, it comes from that same kind of Arabic. Yeah, it's almost like they didn't evolve to know that we had a tongue and you don't have to strain so much to talk. Glasgow, Scotland, too, is kind of a ghetto place. It's a beautiful city, but it's kind of like they got this thing called the Glasgow Smile,

which is where they fuck you up outside a bar and then they carve a smile into your face. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know. Did you ever hit Glasgow? No, I was just in Edinburgh for the fest. That's a beaut, no? That city?

Beaut. It's cute. I mean, I'm not going to say it's not cute, but it's a little medieval. I love that. You don't like the medieval? That's romantic, cuz. I mean, I like looking at it,

but I don't really like being around it for too long. Well, you were also in a depressive state back then. Yeah, that was a bad time. Yeah, I mean, you got beat up. But yo, the weather sinks me down. I don't know how people do it out there. I love that weather out there. Cloudy skies, a little bit of drizz each day.

I know. I fucking loved it. You know who else loves that kind of weather? I remembered specifically from watching the documentary. Ted Bundy? No, well, probably. Yeah? But probably. Yeah? But similar.

Oh. And when she said it, I was like, that's how I know that Chris is the matriarch, true blue psychopath, TBP. And the person who said the same thing you said is this week's true blue fucking psychopath of the fucking week. You told me to watch this documentary. It was, like you said, the wildest thing I've ever fucking seen. Evil geniuses.

Wild. Marjorie, what was her last name? Marjorie Deal Armstrong. Marjorie Deal Armstrong. She liked cloudy skies? She says it in the documentary. I don't remember that part. She's like, I love this weather. Fucking overcast. Yeah. I think what she was talking on the phone. Oh, she's like, I love the rain. Yeah, I love the rain.

Yeah, I could sit in the rain. I love this. I mean, most like, I love the rain. Yeah, I love the rain. Yeah, I could sit in the rain. I love this. I mean, most people, I love the gloom. And I'm like, yeah, because you are a TBP. So was she the TBP of the week? Because she could be the TBP of the universe. Did you get, how sick was even the opening of that show when the smile into that? Did that make your skin crawl a little bit?

Unbelievable. So you were scared watching that? I was not scared watching that, no. Yeah, I had to watch that in the comfort of the airplane. Yeah, I mean, you know. Yeah, I had to watch that around 350 other people over the Atlantic Ocean. I could not watch something like that alone. And that's why we really haven't found a true blue gay of the week since the beginning of this podcast,

because nobody can really compete with you, cuz. No. You are the true blue gay every week. Somebody who needs to watch a children's cartoon to calm down off a documentary he's 33 years old he looks like he does mma on the side yeah it's fucking wild yeah you have the emotions of a 13 year old girl yeah whose parents aren't home yeah and the lights are out yep and then you look the way that you look yep does not make sense but i'm also not legally retarded either exactly my iq is normal i know that's fucking weird that's wild right yeah it is very weird yeah and then you know i was in france just skipping around eating chocolate croissants and it

was fucking great i mean you told me you said that something that sticks out in your mind is when you know it was me and a couple of other me you and a couple other grown men and uh i didn't you know we were looking for stuff to do and somebody's like you want to go to a bar and i was like you want to go get a cupcake and i was serious no yeah you serious. And then we went and did it. Yeah. But you enjoyed it, though. I did enjoy it. But yeah, to be honest with you, I don't know if even it's something that's unique to my experience. I would guarantee you we'd be hard pressed to find a crew of four dudes who said they were hanging out.

And one of their boys was like, do you guys want to go get a cupcake? Yeah. While we're drinking beers. And a 230-pound guy. Exactly. Because I'm not going to lie to you, I'm jet-lagged. Bang. I'm fucking tired right now.

You are, right? It's 10, 11 o'clock. It's almost nighttime for me. So you may have to do the heavy lifting. I know you coughed up, but did you cough out as well? No, but I didn't cough up. I green-teed up. Yeah, that was your problem.

I green-teed up because I already had two coughs. And I ate a lot of, because I'm petrified to test my blood sugar today. I'd be petrified too. You did a lot of chocolate crisps. Because when I hit that first chocolate croissant and patty, it kind of – it made me kind of feel like, you know what? I'll lose a foot for this. Yeah. Yeah, it's bad news.

I mean for you going to France, the way they do shugs and they do croissants and – Yeah. They don't eat a lot there because they're programmed by French culture not to eat a lot, but we're American, and you got a shug problem, bad. Basically, you going to Paris and being around those chocolate croissants

is kind of like a coke head going to fucking Medellin, Colombia for vacation. It's a problem. It's a fucking problem. There's no way you were going to get out of there without any child. Especially without me there to police you, cuz. Cuz I was eating mac. You were roaming free.

Cuz I was eating macaroons like macaronis. I was fucking just, I was bowls of that shit. Cuz. Yeah, I kind of, I'm not gonna, cuz I was a little upset at myself. Yeah. And then it doesn't just stop. I didn't just stop cold turkey. You know, I had a couple more sweets the other day, but now I'm good.

I fucking, I smoothied up today. But you know, your nature is very hyena-like. Yeah. So it's like, if you have a hyena and he stumbles upon, let's say, a warthog of den, of baby warthogs, and the mom's over there sniffing grass. Right. Do you think that he's going to be able to control himself and not snatch up these baby fucking Warhawks? He's going to eat them.

That was you in fucking Paris with chocolate croissants. Croissants, yeah. How you doing, Zach Ice? You had a good week? Pretty good week. A lot of done. Yeah. A lot done.

I know you got a lot done in Paris. Yeah, you got a lot done in Paris right on the same block of the fucking hotel. I took the words right out of my mouth, man. They were trying to get you, Chrissy. Well, cuz, you know, where you fucking launch and attack, you asshole, was on the block of the hotel I was staying at. You think I don't know that? It's not a coincidence, man.

Yeah, they were trying to get me. We didn't even put two and two together. We were in the car talking about it. But you know what happened is you weren't here last week. It was me and Zachy fucking vibing. He probably thought to himself, you know what? Might be nice to get rid of fucking the matriarch. Yeah.

And so he called over his boys in Paris. Yeah. And they put a hit on you, cuz. Yeah, he said, you're not going to have to walk him up to the matriarch yeah and so he called over his boys in paris and they put a hit on you cuz yeah he said he said you're not gonna have to walk him up to poughkeepsie and put a bull in his head i'm gonna finish the job right now but you know what you did you know you know you didn't uh prepare for what's that you guys got to use knives out there yeah and even if you got chrissy yeah it's gonna take a you better have a big knife to fucking stab through that butt. Yeah, because I'll just turn around and get through that butt. The knife's going to get stuck.

I won't even feel it. I genuinely wouldn't even have felt it. Plus, he's got a lot of goo on his body. There's a lot of goo. You got to stab through a lot of goo. If you hit me in the face, I'm done. Because the face is structured. But if you hit me anywhere here, it's fucking pillowcases.

It's going to take a lot to get to a major organ. Yeah, yeah. Because the first is just layers of fat. You've got syrup and all types of chocolate milk and shit. I mean, your body when you shirt off looks like a fucking – looks like a female's bed. There's a lot of pillows on there. No. I have – my body – if I showed you a picture of me from the neck to the waist, you would say – and I gave you a guess.

Is that a man? is that a woman, or is that a man going through hormone replacement therapy to try to become a woman? You would guess C. You would say that there's no way that this person is not pumping estrogen through his air vents to try to get tits. Are you more cultured now, though? Yeah. You feel more cultured?

Yeah, well, I mean, I felt going to Europe was interesting to really kind of— Do you think there's anyone from Ridgewood, Queens, ever i had to use a passport no yeah no well my boys when i told my boys um you know i was going to paris they were like ah my boy patty five balls like i fucking been there and i'm like oh tell me what to do it goes why didn't go there i went to the you know vegas hotel i went to the paris hotel in vegas he said and it's like the same shit i see you know you know he's like whatever you. They got a mini Eiffel Tower. Yeah, well, that's what he said. He was like, you know, they want to fucking tell you that you got to go here, got to go

there. It's like, I don't got, I'm not going across the fucking ocean. I went right to Vegas, same fucking thing. He said, I guarantee you, I had a better time there than I had a better time in the Paris Hotel than you'll have in Paris. And what did he say to me? Well, you know? Yeah.

He's got a point. He's like, I went out there for free because Deebo got him tickets on JetBlue. Yeah. Did they travel underneath the plane with the know? Yeah. He's got a point. I went out there for free because Deebo got him tickets on JetBlue. Yeah. Did they travel underneath the plane with the bags? Probably. Do you think he ever sneaks in that way? Or he doesn't have to? He can get-

No, he's on Deebo's fly list. If you don't remember who Deebo was, Deebo was our guest, I think, on episode three or four. Yeah. He tells girls he's a pilot, but he actually puts bags into the- Yeah, he's a baggage handler for an airline. But he does get free flights. I mean, literally... Can he get me

on a few? Yes, absolutely. Well, no, he can't. He's on a no-fly fucking list. Oh, yeah, you're on the no-fly list. He might be able to get... If you can get him season Mets tickets, he'll get you onto the plane. Yeah. He's got to give him Mets tickets. That's worth it a few lives. Because he got a free flight to Germany when we're going. I know. It's worth

to reiterate. Everyone listening has probably heard the episode, but It's worth to reiterate. Everyone listening has probably heard the episode, but it is worth to reiterate how funny it was when me and Chris said we would go back to these times in history

and Debo said he would go back to 1986 for the Mets won the World Series. I mean, is that not one of the funniest things you ever heard? Giannis was saying

he was going to go back to like where Greek democracy started. I want to go back to like the Revolutionary War and Debo want to go back to 86 to watch fucking dwight gooden in his heyday pitch for the mets yeah yeah i mean that was the most and that's genuine that was that's what made it so funny is it was his genuine answer where would i go back 1986 shea stadium yeah he could have talked to jesus abraham lincoln fucking peter the great no he could have gone

to constantinople. No, Shea Stadium, about 15 minutes from where his house is now. Yep, just 30 years ago, just to see the Mets win one. And what did – you also spoke to somebody else about Paris, somebody's mother. And what did they say when you told them about your trip to Paris? Oh, yeah, I spoke to – You don't have to say names because we're on a podcast. No, no, yeah, I spoke to – once I got back to Bay Ridge, once I got back to, I got fucking stepped

foot back in good old USA, went to Bay Ridge, got a slice from Nino's. I had to get a slice of pizza because the pizza out there, the pizza sucks. In Paris, the pizza actually wasn't bad. Yeah. And in London, I went to the Soho house, like the original Soho house, and the pizza there was good, but everywhere else was fucking blah. But I get back to Bay Ridge, and I know, my couple of Bay Ridge guys I know were like, yo, how was the trip?

And one of my friend's moms was there and my friend Anthony, his mom was there and she's like, you know, real deal, Brooklyn lady smoking cigarettes or whatever. And she, I was like, you know. I just told you not to say the name, but you know what? It's okay because only people from New York will be able to decipher what that name was yeah

because Anthony that's a New York thing everyone else is like Anthony yeah what's his name Anthony Anthony Anthony

that's how they do say it in New York right yo Anthony Anthony my friend Anthony he they asked me how the trip was and I was like

it was good I was like but they hate Americans out there and then Anthony's mother pops in throws the cigarette down she goes what do you mean

they hate Americans out there I'm like they you know you could tell like in France especially they don't like Americans she goes they should fucking thank God every fucking day

that we don't blow them right off the map she said okay she said because the sovereignty of their nation only depends on America Donald Trump she said if it wasn't for Donald, they wouldn't even speak fucking French over there. So she said, and I'm like, what?

And she's like, yeah, she's like, all these countries want to bash America, talk shit, say, oh, America. She said, bull fucking who? She was like, the sovereignty, I couldn't believe she was using the word sovereignty. She's like, the sovereignty of all their nations depends on America. So they should say thank you to you. She said, if I was in France, I would have told him right to his fucking face. I don't give a fuck about France. She said, how about this?

She said, oh, I got to speak French to you? She said, one country speaks French. She said, how many countries speak English? She said, you know what the answer is? Fucking all of them. That's what she said. She said, so why don't you speak English to me? Because she said, really?

She's like, I'm in fucking charge here. She said, but they don't want to act like that. They want to protect their little French stupid fucking language yeah i was like wow it is a beautiful language though it is a beautiful language and you know what she's not all wrong not all wrong i mean in reality okay listen i know that it's it's arrogant to not know other languages and i and i and i get that and i wish i knew more languages just for my own well-being i mean i you know i would love to know it but But she's right. I mean, the whole world speaks English. I didn't make that rule up, but it's just the truth. The world speaks English. France and a few other nations that France has influenced speak French. So why

is it so important? I can understand if they turned around and made my daughter, who's going to be three, you say, you have to learn Spanish. Then I could say, OK, or even Chinese. It's like, OK, maybe I can see because one of those two languages, I mean, you have to learn Spanish. Then I could say, okay, or even Chinese. It's like, okay, maybe I can see because one of those two languages, I mean, Spanish is becoming the majority in this country and China's taken over the world. So it's like, okay, but French? Why are you mad I don't know French?

It is a beautiful language, though. It is beautiful. We should preserve it because it is fucking gorgeous. And the French culture has a lot of good aspects to it. Yeah. I love France. I thought it was great. I think Americans like Europeans. It would be better

if we spoke, because most Europeans, besides French, I mean, you know, the French yell at us for not speaking, but all you guys speak is fucking French. Yeah. A lot of them don't even learn English. No. So, but everyone should speak French and English and Spanish. Yeah. Everyone in the Western world should. That's true. Don't you think

we should speak all those languages? I do. I really do. They're three gorgeous languages. Gorgeous. That's why my daughter, I mean, speak All those languages I do There are three gorgeous languages Gorgeous That's why my daughter I mean you know Her grandma speaks Spanish and English She speaks Spanish

Like Puerto Rican Brooklyn Spanish My daughter's fucking She knows what to do She eats Spanish too She eats all that food That Spanish food But when her mother's around

Her mother eats that white food I don't know how to feed her That white food She says you know Her mother doesn't want to eat Have her to eat no protein No meat She says but I gotta

Give her fish I gotta give her tuna I sneak it to her I feel bad for the little baby I don't know how her mother doesn't want to have her to eat no protein, no meat. She said, but I got to give her fish. I got to give her tuna. I sneak her to her. I feel bad for the little baby. I don't know what to put her. What to put her? Brussels sprouts? I don't know how to cook that.

I don't know how to cook that. She said, you know, these white people. She always say white. Then she said, I called her to talk to Delilah, and I've shown her the Eiffel Tower. I've shown her the Eiffel Tower. She goes, oh, wow, look at the Eiffel Tower. You over there in London? That looks like a big scaffolding.

Yes. It does kind of look like a big scaffolding. It does. The Eiffel Tower. But it's cute. It's fun. Yo, honestly, to see the Eiffel Tower, though, it gets you a little emotional. It's an iconic thing to see.

Did you jerk off? Yeah. They got a little baby Statue of Liberty right there, too. They do. Well, they gave us the Statue of Liberty. They gave us the statue. And then we fucking built bigger buildings. That used to be like a pretty big fucking building.

Yo, you know, in fucking 1942 when the Nazis took it over, they put the Nazi flag right on top of that bitch. What? They put the Nazi flag right on top of the Eiffel Tower. Oh, I thought you were talking about the Statue of Liberty. I was like, that never happened. No. Because red, white, and blue don't lose. We don't lose.

Back-to-back World War champs. Yeah, did you hear what we said, ISIS? Yeah. We don't lose. We don't lose for everything. We don't lose we don't lose back-to-back world war champs yeah yeah did you hear what we said isis yeah we don't lose for everything we don't lose google am i right about that the nazi flag at one point was on top of the eiffel tower absolutely correct yeah you oh you've seen that picture then yeah they fucked up no germans steamrolled over paris yeah yeah yeah there should be a thank you written every year from french to the red white and blue thank you that we don't speak German. You're lucky you don't speak German. Yeah.

So maybe you want to learn English just as a fucking token of appreciation. Just, yeah. Okay, Pierre? Jesus Christ. And look at that. That's the Arc de Triomphe I saw. The Arc de Triomphe was beautiful, too, cuz. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you go up in that thing? No. Yeah. I mean, no question Paris is beautiful. Is it the most beautiful city in the world? I'm going to have to go probably. Most beautiful, yes. Still no comparison to New York, though.

Well, it's more beautiful. Absolutely more beautiful. I would say maybe more beautiful because it's older and there's a lot of cute stuff. Cute and all like the little streets and stuff and the architecture. I saw the Versailles Palace. It was fucking gorgeous. How many times did you say Q out loud in Paris? I kept saying breathtaking.

Yeah. Oh, God. It was breathtaking. Yeah. I would have probably knifed you. Yeah. I would have probably knifed you. Well, you know what's interesting is I'm in Europe across the ocean.

As long as you didn't say modernity. If I say modernity, you want to knife me. Modernity won't. Yeah. If you say, well, here's the thing. If I hear you say breathtaking, I want to knife you. Well, here's the thing. I'm in Europe, you know, having a great time, enjoying myself time enjoying myself i'm across the ocean i'm like my kid's okay

you know everything's okay let me check on yannis and then i look on his facebook and i mean he sounds like i mean he first of all the one post i saw i was like this guy's he wants to fucking start a race right right now i mean he's just it's like what really white people did we have did we really do that many bad things to you oh really white people we're that fucking bad and then i counted in three posts yannis put the quote word in quotes whiteness about 35 times in three posts you just kept writing whiteness in quotes whiteness whiteness whiteness to the point was like should i do i have to call yannis right now yeah do i have to call yannis or do i have to call his dad and be like you gotta scale your son back because i'm like i've been gone for a week and yannis has lost his fucking mind yeah i'm starting

to lose it yeah i mean and then i and then my posts were all fucking correct well they're absolutely right and then i see i haven't seen you in two weeks you haven't shaved since i left yeah you know you come out you look cute with a beard you look cute with a beard but i thought you know what the fuck are Are you joining Zach's side? I mean, what's going on here? Yeah. You got a little gray coming in. It's nice.

Yeah. Gray looks good on you. Because there's no way around it. There's no way around it. It's just tried and true. You're a cute kid. I'm a cute cat. Yeah.

I got wild on Facebook a little bit. You got wild on Facebook. But you know what? I learned a new expression, though. What? White male fragility. Yeah. What does that mean? What does W though. What? White male fragility. Yeah, what does that mean?

What does WMF mean, white male fragility? I mean, there's going to be a time in the future where these people's kids look back. Yeah, it's like almost embarrassing. Yeah. It's like the expressions are almost embarrassing. Yeah. It's like it's just these expressions that they hide their kind of lack of facts and reality behind. Like when you're arguing with one of these people,

they just go, oh, here we go again, white male fragility. What does that mean? I was arguing with an Asian woman. It's like, when did Asians claim the moral high ground over fucking anyone when it comes to victimhood? When did that happen? If you're Asian, you're doing fine. Right.

If you're Indian in this country, you're doing fine. Right. If you're Indian in this country, you're doing fine. Right. So don't fucking yell about white privilege and shit. That is reserved for fucking black people and Native Americans. True victims in America. Everyone else, shut the fuck up. Bang. Bang.

Hit a sound effect, Zach. Yeah, you're supposed to go. Boom. Boom. Until you get... Am I wrong, though? You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

You're not wrong, but also, you know... See, I feel like you can get away... I look too white. I am too... I look too much like the problem. You, on the other hand, you could be Mexican. You can be fucking Greek. You can be Middle Eastern.

You could be a transsexual woman. You could be any... So you can get away with a lot more a transsexual woman you could be any so you can get away with a lot more you know that's the problem though that's the problem is it's all based on identity i even said to this girl and she had no response i was like if i had posted this by the way the post was like a really correct post about admitting that whiteness exists and it was it's a creation of the new world and it helped perpetuate slavery and all that stuff right and uh yeah i said if if i was black and i had posted this you wouldn't have said anything It's a creation of the new world, and it helped perpetuate slavery and all that stuff. Right. All true. Yeah. I said if I was black and I had posted this, you wouldn't have said anything.

Zero. The only reason that you're trying to be contrarian with me is because you saw my profile pic that I'm fair skinned. So your whole argument is that I'm white and don't have the right to say stuff. That's how ridiculous the times we are in now are. It's like you're creating. You're creating. You're being racist. Because you know how I get through life, honestly, and it's relatively easy and so far hasn't had any big problems, is I only choose to talk to people or like converse with people or listen to people who live in the gray area and who have not chosen a side. If you have chosen a side, whether it's the left or the right, I don't want to talk to you. I really

don't have anything to say to you because you're probably going to be unmovable on certain areas and you're going to be really, really, really narrow-minded on a lot of things. So I choose to just stay away from you. So if you just talk to the gray people and you talk to the people who look at the world and not generalizing everything but go individual to individual i think those are the easiest people to get along with maybe they're not the most exciting and maybe they're you know aren't going to hit you with some fucking make you think but it's like i'm not on that planet to do that you're absolutely right and that's the majority of the people yeah but they just happen to be the quietest ones well no well the comedians most comedians you know because of what we do on stage you have to take a a stance and you know the hollywood people that we have to deal stage, you have to take a stance. And the Hollywood people that we have to deal with, they all have to take a stance, usually

on the left side, which is fine. But it's like, by the way, I learned in France where left and right comes from. It's from the first French form of government. There would be groups of certain people with one idea would sit on the left and certain people would sit on the right. Interesting. Yeah. So the left first to right came from France.

Wow. Yeah. It came from like, I forgot what it was. And the building is still there where the first seat of government started in France. That's your first piece of history right here in the history. Yeah, left and right came from France. Yeah, you know, I like to post because I learn a lot. My post is a lot of times like a glue trap.

Yeah. I can't wait for somebody to comment and then I just kind of fucking probe them because it gives, it kind of gives you a sample about

what's out there and what people are thinking and it's fucking wild. I learned another, just while I'm on the, thinking about it, I learned another piece of history too

and when I was in Scotland, I learned where the phrase arm to the teeth comes from. So basically there's this bridge called the Teeth Bridge, like T-I-E-T-H, Teeth Bridge. And there was so much violence happening in Edinburgh that they would make people stop and disarm your weapons. So if you were like coming into the city, you have to go over this one bridge. You weren't allowed to bring your weapons over that bridge into the city because people were just getting axed the fuck up.

So you would have to pick up your weapons on the other side. So they would say, arm to the teeth. You can only be armed to the teeth. Interesting. Yeah. There's a lot of those expressions that come from the United Kingdom. Yeah. Like bottoms up.

Yeah. Or like crap. Did you even know the word crap comes from Thomas Crapper, who invented the toilet and public plumbing? It's like how we see toilets over here. All toilets are like, you know, Toto is like a big- Or American enterprise. Yeah, over there it's Crapper, Thomas Crapper. So that's where the word crap comes from.

Crap wasn't a word before Thomas Crapper made it. And the word faggot over there, does it still mean cigarettes? I think it means cigarettes over there. And bender. Bender can mean drink or bender can mean take it in the ass, man. So when you say, can I have a fag, that means you have a smoke. Yeah. That's pretty wild.

Yeah, it's pretty wild. Yeah. Pretty wild. I was over in, well, you were out there in the old world. Yeah, where were you? I was in the new world, but it's not new anymore. I was in- Where were you? AC. Ooh, Atlantic City, New Jersey. I was in the new world, but it's not new anymore. I was in a-

Where were you? AC. Woo, Atlantic City, New Jersey. Last weekend. Holy mackerel. Kind of is going down, right? Interesting place, though. A lot of history there.

Isn't there? AC is a lot of history. I thought Trump made it. Didn't Donny Boy make it? Well, I mean, it depends on how you vote, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know. Donald Trump did a lot of good things.

He did a lot of good things for his country. Donald Trump restored Coney Island after Hurricane Sandy. He did. I mean, you know. Donald Trump did a lot of good things. He did a lot of good things for his country. Donald Trump restored Coney Island after Hurricane Sandy. He did. I'll tell you what else Donald Trump did. Donald Trump made it okay to fucking eat pizza again because there was a war on pizza. He also fucking made it so these Merry Christmases is on the cups of the fucking Starbucks. Really? That was Donald Trump.

Yeah. Donald Trump made Merry Christmas. He made fucking Merry Christmas okay to say again. Did you know that? Wow. See? We make fun of the right, too. Somebody posted to me, too, like, I hear you and Chris on the podcast always talking about

how difficult it is to be white. First of all, I don't fucking consider myself white. I don't think that. I'm a fucking swarthy Greek ethnic kid. Yeah. And I'm not white. I'm just from fucking Brooklyn, baby. You are a trash monkey, which, by the way, I got about three tweets about that.

People love that. Trash monkey's a go-ahead. So we'll make a t-shirt, trash monkey? Trash monkey, yeah. So, but we make fun of everybody. We make fun of ourselves. We make fun of everybody. We're fucking comedians.

We're not political pundits. No. You know? Yeah. I'm not saying it's hard to be white. I mean, it is funny how a lot of Donald Trump people fucking think that they give him credit for everything. Everything. Yeah.

I mean, the lady was saying that if it wasn't for Donald Trump, they wouldn't even be speaking French. I know. I mean, that makes, you know, it makes no sense. Yeah. But she was steadfast on it. And you know when he was running for office, you're like, you watch, you see. Yeah. When fucking Donald Trump comes into office, there's not going to be no traffic no more.

Yeah. There'll be no fucking, L.A. is backed up right now. Once Trump fucking comes into office, no more traffic. Nope. Nope. I think my boy said that. Didn't my boy say that? Yeah.

It's not going to be, wait until Trump comes. No more traffic. No more traffic. It's going to be fucking okay. Yeah. You got a parking ticket? No more parking tickets when you fucking Donald Trump comes into office. So Atlantic City.

Atlantic City's wild to me, cuz. I wish you were with me first. What hotel were you at? I was at the Tropicana. Shithole. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't even like T first. What hotel were you at? I was at the Tropicana. Shithole. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I don't even like Tropicana orange juice. No. They only really good- Too much sugar. You don't like Tropicana? It's all 100% juice. I don't drink orange juice, cuz. Because of the sugar? Yeah.

Cuz that's natural sugar, though. Not Tropicana, though. They don't add sugar. Tropicana's gotta be dog shit for you. They don't add sugar. You sure? 100% juice. It says it right on there.

Juice. Yeah. Look at the ingredients, though. It's a lot of sugar, but that's what comes with fruits. But it's natural sugar. Fruits. Yeah. The best hotel is Borgata.

That's what I was about to say. Yeah. We got to do the gig out there. Yeah. I did that one already. It's cute. Yeah. It's a big one.

I want to do it with you, cuz. Yeah. Let's do it together. I was wishing you were there just so we could walk on the boardwalk together and fucking drink Smithies. Yeah. We're fucking in the sand on our Jordans. We're Jordans in the sand. Yeah. I want to do it with you, cuz. Yeah, let's do it together. I was wishing you were there just so we could walk on the boardwalk together and fucking drink Smithies. Yeah, we're fucking in the sand on our Jordans. We're Jordans in the sand. Yeah, I was alone.

Were you a little lonely? I was a little lonely, cuz. There's an African American museum there that I wanted to go to. Did you go to it? I didn't go because I was solo. And you can't really leave the strip in Atlantic City. It's too dangerous. Nah, yeah.

You feel like Jim Carrey in the Truman Show. You walk and then you get to a point where you get scared and you're like, all right, let me go back. And it's dangerous. Yeah, you feel like Jim Carrey in the Truman Show. You walk and then you get to a point where you get scared and you're like, alright, let me go back. And it's empty too, right? The casinos are empty, the hotels are empty, kind of? I mean, there was people there, especially on the weekend, but yeah, it's basically like a resort in Mexico

in that way. It's like you don't want to leave the casino. I mean, you don't want to walk around Atlantic City. It's a dead city, which is interesting. It's gone through so many cycles of getting hot again, going cold again. They say it might be experiencing a renaissance soon, but it's so

weird to be in a place that was once called the world's playground, because it was so fucking popular. It was better than Vegas. I mean, they called it the world's fucking playground. I mean, it was like, if you go look at some of those old pictures from the roaring 20s at the boardwalk, it is just mobbed with people. That's where they do the Miss America pageant every year on the boardwalk there. They do.

I was there two, three years ago for the Miss America pageant. They're two, three years ago for the Miss America pageant. And then they do a big thing that they do is they have all the women from each state. They have them. They do this thing. It's called like the shoe parade where they show your shoes like you show your shoes to people. And it brings out some fucking psychos. I watched the parade. And I remember I remember.

Yo, I'm not lying to you, dude. I swear to God, this has happened. We're watching the parade. I'm not lying to you dude I swear to God this has happened we're watching the parade I'm watching the parade and you know people showing their feet and people like show your shoes whatever

then all of a sudden there was this group of guys that looked like me and you like and like 5, 6 and they weren't laughing they weren't joking like I remember it started to rain a lot

and like they got like blocked and like Miss Hawaii or somebody like that couldn't show their shoes they're like show your fucking feet. They were screaming at her like, let me see your shoes, Hawaii.

Let me see your shoes. And then she picked it up and they went nuts. They were like, yeah. They were going nuts. And the real fucking creeps, there were people that were like, let me smell them. I swear to people, let me smell your feet. It's like there's security guards everywhere. It's one of the weirdest things I'd ever, because we just walked into it.

It was just a parade. And then it's like the shoe parade it's not easy there's a lot of dudes are creeps i mean dude you ever look at wick of uh weak wiki feet yeah i mean dudes are creeps i mean you got a foot fetish a little bit yeah i like there's a lot of femininity in a foot that's what i'm you got on stockings right now underneath your pants i mean i do yeah but i'm not scared of you but you do like feet i do you do. You don't like feet, right? I don't like feet. You don't mind what a girl's feet looks like? I don't care. I just love beautiful feminine feet, toes done well. There's just a lot of feminine. I like a hairy, I like a bush. You like a hairy bush? Not full blown hair, but I like a few strands. Yeah. Is that bizarre? No, not at all. A lot of guys like it. I like it

shaved down bald. I don't like any hair because when I eat it, I don't want to be tasting any hair. Right. I don't like hair. Right. I like to eat pus. Yeah. I mean, I don't want any hair involved in that. I want to go down.

I like a bush. I want to fucking, I want to look like Zach's face. Really? I want to get a jihad. Yeah. You want to rest your Roman nose on a fucking Brillo pad? Yeah. You like that?

I love it. Yeah. Yeah. So AC's fucking cool. But here's the thing. In the 80s, it made a comeback partly because of Donald Trump. He started having the fights over at his hotel. Mike Tyson did fought a lot in Atlantic City.

Taj Mahal, right? In the 80s. Yeah, he had a few out there. Is that closed now, the Taj? Closed. Yeah. Which is what's interesting when you walk on the boardwalk. The boardwalk, by the way, is fucking seven miles long.

What? It goes like all the way into like all this because it's all the Jersey Shore there on the miles long. What? It goes all the way. Because it's all the Jersey Shore there on the Atlantic Ocean. I thought it was just the hotels. I've never walked any further. Fucking seven miles. That's why it's like Jim Carrey in the Truman Show. You're walking, and then it's just like you feel like the simulators are stopping the world right there.

So wait, so you walked the entire boardwalk? I walked a couple miles. So you walked way past the hotels. I walked past the hotels, yeah, because of the condominiums and people bike riding and stuff. And it's just pure beaches then, right? It's just pure beach and coastline. It's pretty. So it's pretty, actually.

It's kind of cute. I wouldn't say pretty. I would say cute. But what is interesting is when you go from the Tropicana and you go like, you know, you walk about like maybe, you know, 10 minutes in one direction, you'll see a closed hotel like right on the boardwalk, which is weird to see a closed hotel. Yeah. Especially one as big as the Taj Mahal. Exactly.

Or, you know, it's just like you see this huge building and what they do is like it has chains on the doors so you can kind of open the door and like see into the lobby. Right. And there's just like dust and like they put up like tint on the window so you can't really look in. It's just a closed huge building that probably can fit like 3,000 people, has like 3,000 rooms and a huge casino. Just fucking closed.

Zero. A lot of those hotels are closed. I mean, it's really just- The wind didn't- No, Rebel Hotel. Rebel just opened and closed in like three months. Opened and closed. Rebel opened and closed.

I did a gig there. Did you ever go there? No, no. I did a gig there. I was like one of the only guys that got in. It was beautiful, but it was like, you know. Yeah, well, you know, Atlantic City really like

became a city in the 1850s. Okay. Is when it pre-Civil War. Yeah, and then when the railroad, when they had a railroad, because people used to get there by railroad. And so there was a train. I think it was the Philadelphia Railroad Company. By the way, Monopoly, the game, based on Atlantic City. Really?

All the streets in there. Interesting. Cute, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, based on Atlantic City. And I know a lot of people probably listen to this. I didn't watch Boardwalk Empire.

I never watched Boardwalk Empire. It's about Nucky Johnson, who's kind of the guy who's kind of like, you know, he was the big political machine. Should we watch it? We probably should. We probably should. We probably should. I mean, what's his name's character is based on Nucky Johnson. Steve Buscemi?

Steve Buscemi, yeah. Kind of like the godfather of fucking Atlantic City. Because where the fuck is Bardo? Where's the White Wasp? He didn't even text us. No. Yeah, it's probably, what is this? Today's, I think every other Monday, they eat monkey meat.

They eat monkey meat. They eat monkey meat. Yeah, monkey meat party. Monkey meat Monday, yeah. Right? Didn't he tell us that, Isis? He didn't invite me, so I wouldn't know. Yeah, I think they eat, yeah, chip, chip. I think they eat chimp meat on Mondays.

He probably has a pet hyena. Do you think the really rich have that? Probably. Well, I'll tell you what, going to England and really seeing like where wasps come from, I was like, oh, this is, Bardo feels good here. Yeah. I was in Windsor Castle. Did you get any insight from that, being there? A little bit. A bit a little bit i mean a little bit about like where they come from and

like no i mean it's just the bloodline i mean like even like queen elizabeth like the bloodline it's all about they protect the bloodline yeah and if you don't produce sons it's like it's really like if you didn't have a son you don't mean you have kids and it's no problem like i have a daughter it's no problem but like there and it's a thing. It's like you need to mate with a certain kind of woman to produce the bloodline and protect the bloodline. And so it's kind of like weird. It's a lot of pressure to like have children. Like the only reason Prince Harry is even allowed – is even going to be allowed to marry Meghan Markle is because he has no chance of being king. But like William, he had to marry a woman like Kate.

He had to marry a beautiful white woman from an elite family to protect the bloodline. How fucking ridiculous is that? That's inbreeding. Yeah. That's what it is. And you know what? Those are like islands out there. Yeah.

Great British bunch of islands. No, it's not like it is an island. So it's like you need new genes in there. You got to be honest. There's not a lot of good looking people over there, right? No, not a lot. I mean, you go to Scandinavia, everyone's fucking gorgeous i don't know what it is but i think the british may be doing a little too much inbreeding i mean the accents are very

sexy but like but scotland was tough i mean scotland there was really no beautiful people and the accents are literally i mean it's guttural it's yeah you and i'm sure i sounded gross to them and probably look gross to them but i just want to let you know, I mean, you sounded look gross to me. Yeah, I mean. England, I thought there was a lot of actually nice looking people there. It's so kind of metropolitan and international. Well, but London. You're talking about London.

Yeah, I did go to Stonehenge though. I saw Stonehenge. Yeah. And Windsor Castle. Stonehenge was nice. You ever see Stonehenge? I've seen a lot of pictures of it. Yeah, Stonehenge was nice.

When you get there, it's just a fucking couple of rocks. It's kind of rocks. Yeah. Yeah, Oxford where your brother went. I saw that. That was nice. That's gorgeous. Yeah, and that's where Lord of the rings is based off that city yeah that's a gorgeous place yeah but stonehenge when you got there were you really like all right i get it i

mean what's the big mystery they lifted some fucking stones and they don't know how they don't know how they got the stones there and a lot of people are like well they do but they and then there's all these mounds there that like they think are like graves. And they say like the Druids did it. But actually in reality, they think like the Druids, they have just moved there. And the time when the Druids were discovered living there, because it's like in the middle of nowhere, the people who discovered them just thought that the Druids built them. But the Druids never said they built it. And actually they said 50% of Stonehenge still has not been unearthed. And it's still like they think there's rocks down there.

I mean they basically think it's like – it's something like some kind of like sundial. Like the sun goes up on winter equinox and summer equinox. They go like over this one specific stone. So it's like there's that. But yeah, to be honest, I thought it was cool just to see because it's like you know i guess iconic and like everyone's heard of it but then after a while i was like i'm just looking at rocks just looking at a couple rocks looking at a few rocks it's so interesting that we were in two places that represent two different things the history of the old world in europe is so far back and long yeah and there's so many different facets to

the history there when you're in a place like Atlanta City, it's kind of a microcosm about what America's about. It's just like, hey, this place was hot because people were fucking spending money and gambling here, and then it got cold because people didn't want to come here. And basically what we got, we got a fucking Sbarro's and a buffet. That's basically it. It's like, yeah, people came here, they stuffed their fucking faces, they gambled their money,

they fucked a lot of prostitutes, and then they found other places to gamble their money, stuff their faces, and fuck prostitutes. And this is America, baby. The downfall of Atlantic City was really fucking the automobile. I never really even thought about that. Why? Yeah, most people tell you it's because, like, well, it got hit by a multi-prong attack, cuz.

Okay. Multi-prong attack. It's the history of Atlantic City. Fucking automobiles, cuz usually people, like, first of all,prong attack. Just the history of Atlantic City. Fucking automobiles. Because usually people, like, first of all, suburbia. Suburbia was a big part of what knocked it. Post-World War II. Right. Post-World War II, first of all, a lot of people died.

So there's not a lot of people who spent money. Can't gamble up. But then also, automobiles became more accessible, and suburbia became accessible. So people, instead of going to Atlantic City by train for like 10 days since you took a train there, now we're just taking their automobile there, going gambling, losing their child's school tuition, and then driving back on Sunday. So you're only there for two days. You're not spending a lot of money. Right, right, right. And then suburbia, people got pools.

They got their own little grass yards. So they didn't really need that kind of summer vacation and get that pool experience and spend a lot of money to go get a pool experience at a fucking hotel on the Jersey Shore. They could just do it in freaking, you know. Levittown, Long Island. Exactly. Levittown, which was actually built for World War II veterans. For World War II vets. Absolutely.

So that was one of the big reasons was suburbia and automobiles. And then, of course, after gambling, after the state of New Jersey held a referendum to allow the taxpayers to vote on whether they should allow gambling. Because Atlantic City used to just be a hot resort town. It wasn't about gambling at all. It wasn't about gambling until like the, what was it, the 20s? I don't know. I think it was the 20s. Yeah, ISIS can look that up. But somewhere around the 20s, the 1920s, when it became about gambling. And then, of course, in the 70s when, you know, Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods.

Foxwoods, Connecticut. Yeah. And then the Sands Casino now in Pennsylvania. And all these other casinos popped up boom and then also the fucking planes

how easy it was to get to Vegas the jet started taking you a couple hours to Vegas it really hurt Atlantic City because Vegas

it's no comparison from AC to Vegas Vegas is 10 times better exactly but here's the thing about AC and plus it's year round you know you can go

year round thing about AC though is it may make a comeback as fucking it's a beautiful shoreline you know there's other places in the South Jersey area

that are kind of gorgeous. They should just make it cute. Cute. Don't worry so much about the gambling. Make it cute. I saw, a few times I've been

to Atlantic City. I'm not a gambler. I don't gamble. I'm not a guy who does that. You gamble with your life. I gamble with my life. So yeah, so that's what I was going to say.

You gamble with your sugar levels. Yeah, the food, I don't remember. I remember there being a great italian restaurant but i remember i remember being on the boardwalk just being like i want a fucking cannoli should i remember boardwalks what make you want cannolis and cotton candy and only and i was at police i wanted i wanted a fucking zap yeah and for me it's like i like going to place like atlantic city but beach towns i'm not a guy because when i take off my shirt people stare and i don't like that you know and i can't go when I take off my shirt, people stare and I don't like that.

And I can't go in the water with my shirt on. So I kind of don't like Atlanta. It's kind of got nothing for me. You think it would be better if resorts instead of having old pools and young pools, they have their family pool and then they got the adult pool. Wouldn't it be better if they had in-shape and out-of-shape pools? Yo, we should fucking get a hotel and do an in-shape and out-of-shape pool. I hate fucking

Taking my shirt off When there's dudes there Who are fucking jacked But you got the kind of body Where it's like Whether you're in shape Or out of shape You just look okay

Yeah Cause it doesn't like You don't have things That you're like wow Like I have actual Women's breasts You have deformities Yeah

I have deformities My arms are very long Like I have a body Where they're like Oof Yeah but Well your body just is like Okay a guy's got a good body

Or a bad body. It don't matter. Yeah, but you know what's gross about me? What? I got weird patches of hair in strange places. Yeah, hair's gross.

Yeah, I got like a patch here. It's not like consistent. Like, Isis probably looks like a fucking chia pet when he takes his shirt off. But I mean, I got like a little patch here. It's like, it looks weird.

It looks like I was like in a, you know, had some nuclear fallout effect. Yeah. Some hair fell out. Right. Looks like my back presently has cancer. Right.

It doesn't though. It does not. Cancer free. Well, hopefully. Yeah. It's a horrible thing. But yeah, that would be a good idea. Out of shape, in shape, pool.

Out of shape, in shape, pool is actually a fucking great idea. That would be great. Casinos are fucking depressing. Yeah. Because I did laps around the casino because I had nowhere to go. I was there three days. Three days? You did Thursday, Friday, Saturday?

I was there Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I thought you were just there Friday, Saturday. Why don't you FaceTime me? Because I should have. I would have showed you the fucking Eiffel Tower. I know. We were in opposite places on this planet. That's what's so hilarious to me.

I was in fucking Paris. You were in Paris and like old world beauty. And there's so many facets to the history there. It's like it's not just about money. Right. I was just in the bowels of what America is all about. Yeah. We really are like one big buffet.

Yeah. That's what America is. Yeah. I was sitting at the buffet having thoughts like this. I was like, this is why humanity is ungovernable. Right? Because I was at a buffet. If you say buffet one more time,

I'm going to turn the podcast, I'm going to turn the mics off and punch you right in the fucking nose. Do you think we should bring knives to this and just cut each other? Yeah. People are right there listening, being like, if he says buffet one more time,

I'm going to drive my car into the river. How do you say buffet? Buffet. You say buffet? Do you say buffet or buffet? Buffet is like a character from Friends, like, you know, Phoebe Buffet. Yeah. But buffet is like.

That's what you eat. That's free food. Yeah. You're saying buffet. I say buffet. I say draw, too. You say draw or draw-er? Draw.

Draw. Draw. So why do you say buffet like a fucking French. No, I think buffet is more French than buffet. I think buffet is like Americanized. Buffet? Buffet. I say buffet.

Yeah. I say it correctly. No, but you say it the French way. You're fucking. Is it a butt or a boot? No. It's B-U. Americans say buffet.

We're a fuck America. But if it was buffet, it'd be B-O-O-F-F-E-T. That's how I'd say buffet. First of all, it's a French fucking word. Yeah. Second of all, how come we haven't come up with an American word for fiance? I don't want to speak French when I'm trying to talk about my girl. Yeah.

Can't we just come up with an American word to replace fiance? Fiance. You know? Can't we just say my, what would we call it? My lady in waiting. My lady in fucking waiting. Yeah, it's my fucking LW, Lady Waiting. My Triple G, my GGG.

Wait, what? Just, you know, make it more than you're just girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your girl's your G. Yeah. And you triple it off. My GF, yeah, it's my fucking GGF. My GF, my GGF.

Because Bardo didn't even send us the names of the Patreon members we have to. No. I'm going to kill Bardo. Yeah, tell him to send. How crazy would it be? Because you know what the only problem is? I got last week's though. I forgot to read them last week.

You did? I did. So I got a few. See, because I never fucking forget. How crazy would it be? Because you know what the only problem- I got last week's though. I forgot to read them last week. You did? I did. So I got a few there. See, because I never fucking forget. But yo, listen to this. So I did a couple laps around the fucking casino in AC. I figured out how many laps it takes before you really, no matter how good your life is, before you really want to question getting a revolver and going standing at the edge

of the Atlantic Ocean and shooting yourself into it. Four laps. Four laps. It takes four laps. And then you're out. If you go through the smoking section, only takes two. Yeah. It takes two laps. And then you're like, where can I get a revolver? Because I'm going to walk right out to the ocean and shoot myself right in face down. That's what it takes. And then I had this hilarious moment where, you know where the real true emotions of the people at a casino are displayed? And then I'll get back to the buffet. Where the true emotions of people at a casino are displayed. Are displayed.

The fucking bathroom. Really? The bathroom. That's exactly what I was thinking too. Good guess. That's exactly what I was thinking. Why? I've seen a lot of sad people.

Oh, the bathroom is where the mask comes down. Everyone out there is, you know, hype, gambling. They got their poker face on. And then you go in the bathroom, and that's where what a casino really is about. What'd you see? So I went into the bathroom, and it was an amazing moment. I'm almost glad I went for the weekend just to have this experience, because it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

It was like, I've only seen somebody splash water on their face when they're stressed in a movie. A movie and then at the Tropicana in Atlantic City. So I'm in there taking a piss.

First of all, it was, you know, the people are big. I mean, we go to casinos, you see old people and you see people

on scooters. On scooters, right. And sometimes you see an old person on a scooter. By the way, I didn't see one fat person on a scooter in any country

I went to in Europe. Yeah, it's just an American problem. It's an American thing. Yeah. So scooter. By the way, I didn't see one fat person on a scooter in any country I went to in Europe. It's just an American problem. It's an American thing. So I go into the bathroom. Swear to God, at the urinal, there's a guy in his scooter pissing into the urinal. So you saw his whole dick? I mean, yeah. He was sitting and he

can't walk. He's just a fat guy and he was pissing like the pee was a fountain and it was making an unbouldered arc into the fucking urinal. So he's sitting on his scooter peeing with his dick out, right? Little baby dick, right? I mean, yeah.

He's a big guy. So I mean, his dick was just kind of trying to struggle its way out past his belly fat. Yeah. Right? And so he's peeing. He's close to the urinals he can be with his scooter. I mean, it's the saddest American sight. Is there a packed bathroom, too, where this guy just doesn't give a fuck?

There was about six people in the bathroom. Wow. Yeah. So he's peeing. I mean, how else is he supposed to pee? I always wondered how people in scooters pee. They pee from the fucking scooter. Holy shit.

They can't stand up. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't have somebody there helping him. I mean, he's fucking, you know, he might have been with his wife. His wife can't come in the male bathroom. No. He got peed from his scooter. I mean, the dri fucking, you know, he might have been with his wife. His wife can't come in the male bathroom. No. He got peed from his scooter. I mean, the dribbles, those are going on his pants, cuz.

Those last couple of dribbles. Yeah. Welcome to AC. Wow. So he's peeing, but it gets better, right? Okay. Then there is a guy with his scooter outside the handicapped toilet. Okay.

So he parked the scooter outside, you know, and we're not making fun of handicapped people. This guy wasn't handicapped. These people are big. Right. He's just a big person. Right. So he's on the toilet. And I mean, he is fucking, when he's shitting, it sounds like a dinosaur is roaring in there.

It's wild. It's just like. You just hear disgusting splatter shit. By that, I knew that he also was at the buffet that morning. Right, right, right. I was like, I think I recognize this guy. Right. But it was funny just to see his scooter kind of parked outside.

And this guy just ripping ass. He's just ripping in there, right? So there's noises coming from there. There's a guy peeing from his scooter next to me in the urinal. And then there's a guy at the sink. I swear to God, I'm not lying. There's a guy at the sink splashing water in his face'm not lying there's a guy at the skink splashing water in his face going he kind of lost the sense that he was in public right he was in such a downward

spiral probably about how much money he lost right that he was splashing water in his face making noise he's going oh and i just heard the water splashing and then the guy in the scooter peeing here's the guy and he turns around he goes you okay bud and the guy wakes the guy up out of like oh wait i'm in public he goes what what what and he goes yeah you sound like you're in pain over there or whatever he goes oh no i just stressed out and i went i was just sitting there going like is he okay right i mean talk about rhetorical questions yeah we are in a fucking bathroom yeah of the fucking tropicana hotel in atlantic city nothing is okay about this whole fucking thing yeah you're peeing from a scooter yeah because and you're probably gonna lose a foot right you probably ate at the buffet today.

This guy's fucking, has his scooter parked outside the fucking toilet, and he's shitting his brains out from this fucking cancer-infested American diet. This guy just lost his child's fucking college tuition. Nothing is okay. There's nothing okay about this. The shit and piss happened at the same time? What do you mean? Like, they were, one dude in his scooter was shit. All of it was happening simultaneously. What do you mean? Like they were One dude in a scooter All of it was happening simultaneously

What are the chances? Wow I was about to scream out Yeah And I'm also not okay Yeah Alright I'm doing a gig up there

In a fucking go-go club Right? With uh For maybe You know For 30 people And I'm staying in a hotel room That's probably got bed bugs

And that's a wood floor Was the hotel room disgusting? I mean it's like They haven't renovated it yet, that wing of it. So it's like you get these like fake linoleum wood floors. Oh. Yeah. And I was like, none of this is okay. It was one of the most not okay scenes I've ever seen in my entire life.

But it was also like really hilarious that it was all happening at the same time. And when he said, are you okay? It would have been funny if the guy splashing water in his face was like, no, of course I'm not okay. Oh, yeah. I'm splashing water in my face. And I was also thinking like, cuz, I don't know why you're splashing water

in your face if you're stressed out. That's not gonna help you. Was he also in a scooter? You need fucking heroin. Yeah. You need something a little stronger than H2O.

Was he also in a scooter the guy splashing water? It wasn't in his scooter. Well, at least he had that going for him. Yeah, positive. I mean, sometimes you just know, like, you could just-

Wait, let me just finish. The best part, after we got out, I saw him again taking selfies, taking selfies with his friends, like totally with his, like everything was okay. Wow. I was like, if you guys knew this guy was just splashing water in his face like a bad movie in there. He's like taking selfies against like a restaurant wall.

Was he a younger guy? You're taking fucking photos with the Eiffel Tower because you're actually on a vacation somewhere that's beautiful yeah this guy was taking fucking a selfie with his friends outside the wall of a wet willies like it was like it was a tourist attraction wet willies i mean brutal i mean you can just tell like people like in casinos or in airports you can just tell like a person's psyche by like things they do. Like I got into an argument when I was in coming back. Not an argument, but it was like, you know, some guy, he like was like rushing past me to like go see the board for the flight that we happened to be on the same flight. We weren't boarding for like two hours. And he like was rushing. He was like,

excuse me, excuse me like that. And he was like really fucking like agitated. I was like, all right, dude. And he was like, I'm sorry, I'm trying to get to the board. And he was like really fucking like agitated i was like all right dude and he was like i'm sorry i'm trying to get to the board and it was like this weird i was like fuck you and then i went to go sit down it was like this diner and um but it was in the airport like we're at the airport and he was sitting a couple of tables away from me and the lady came up to me uh the waitress i ordered my food and the waitress came up to me like a few minutes later and she she had a plate and she was like did did you order the smoked salmon? And I was like, no, it's the airport. And then somebody did though.

She was like, oh, okay. And then she looked at it and it was that guy. So it's like if you're ordering smoked salmon at an airport in England, something has happened in your life where you're going to push me out of the way to see something that's not really that important I don't know my point is if you're going to go to the if you're going to

splashing water in your face in Atlantic City or you're ordering smoked salmon in the airport I'm going to stay out of your way because clearly like as bad as I think my life is it hasn't gotten that bad you're close to the edge it hasn't gotten that

if I'm still not ordering smoked salmon in the airport or splashing water on my face in Atlantic City, I'm doing okay. You're doing okay. Because if you've gotten to either one of those things, then it's kind of like you've said to the world, I give in, take me for as I am. Yeah. I mean, that guy, when he was like, he could have said to the other guy who was asking him if he's okay, he could have been like, buddy, are you okay? Yeah. Are any of us okay? No.

It would have been a really funny moment if it was like, it turned into like a Tennessee Williams play. Yeah. And everyone was like, none of this is okay. And it's like, if you're at the Tropicana, if you guys, you know, for the fans who don't know, I've never been to Atlantic City, like the Tropicana is like by far the worst Atlantic City hotel. It's not a luxury hotel. It's not a luxury hotel. Let's just say it like that. It's like you're in a Ramada.

Yeah. It's, you really see. It's not a luxury hotel. Let's just say it like that. It's like you're in a Ramada. Yeah. You really see the people there. American people are big. Yeah. We're bad. We're disgusting. And here's the thing I realized about a buffet. America's kind of like a buffet in that we're-

I just want you to get the point out so you don't say buffet anymore. Yeah. I mean, we live in modernity. Yeah. And life's like a buffet. The whiteness of the buffet. It's like we have so much food. We have so much food.

We're so comfortable. And it's like there's a small segment of the population who could walk into that buffet and control themselves and only get like a salad or whatever. Or a piece of meat or something. But most people just can't. I think society would be better if you offered incentives to people. Like the ones who do only eat the salad or who don't eat that much food get rewarded. Right. You know?

So you can at least, so there's some incentive. But there's not. Right. I mean, they're basically just going, here. And when you walk in and you pay $25 for a buffet Your brain goes I'm gonna stuff my face I'm gonna eat for four people right now And then what happens is you end up in a scooter Back at that same hotel

Pulling a fucking slot machine That's America Well what did you eat at the buffet? I had a salad For 25 bucks? I controlled myself Yeah Cause I saw what was going on in there

And I had a moment of clarity And I was like look Yeah This could you know Yeah I got I actually had a piece of salmon at the buffet so my life it just shows you my life wasn't going that great either you had a piece of but it was like salmon like it wasn't smoked salmon it wasn't cold cut salmon no okay that's fine yeah it was a piece of fucking salmon but you still i'm eating salmon at the tropicana in ac yeah you should call me cuz you should call me yeah, can you read the names

for fucking our Patreon memes? Of course I can fucking read the names. Because I don't have them because fucking White Wasp Barton didn't text me this time. Yeah. So now we're going to get the names from the fucking one and only

True Blue, Hyena, Matriarch, King Gay, Yanni Papa. I mean, Barton just acts like... I mean, he acts like this podcast doesn't exist anymore now. I mean, yeah. When's the last time you even spoke to Barton?

Yeah, it's been a while. He wasn't here last week either. It was just me. I sold him that chimp they're eating today. Yeah, so here we go. Here's the names from May 7th. That would be last week, right? Yeah.

Okay, here we go. First guy, I want to say thank you to, I guess this guy is a Roman emperor. Okay. He must have been one of the Caesars because his name is Cero. Cero. S-E-R-O. What does that mean? 100?

Or zero? No, Cero. Isn't that a number? Zero? Isn't Cero? Zero is a number. Isn't C-E-R-O a number too in Greek or Roman? I don't know.

All right. But this guy's name is Cero with an S. Cero. Or maybe Cero is zero in Spanish. Maybe it could's name is Cerro with an S. Cerro. Or maybe Cerro zero in Spanish. Maybe it could be Cerro or Italian. Cerro. Cerro. And then we got Ernie Ojeda. What's up, Ernie? Wow, I thought it was going to be

real Jewy, but it's not. I know. Ernie Ojeda. Sounds like he plays third base for the Mets or something. Yeah. Ernie Ojeda. Wasn't there a pitcher named Ojeda? Probably. Probably. Next guy, I love this guy. You yeah we got a wwe wrestler following us right thank you for your service alexander steamboat either he's a fucking wrestler or the guy's in porn porn that's a great porn name alexander steamboat is a good point yeah

oh that's that's one of my favorite names i've ever heard then we got uh zach arman thank you for your service where do you think Arman's from? I don't know. You're Arman. Zach Arman, thank you. Then we got Andrew McLean. Andrew McLean. Sounds like a Civil War veteran.

McLean? McLean. McLean. Andrew McLean, yeah. Merklin. Merklin. Merklin, that's a union name. Union guy, right?

Yeah, that's a union guy. He fought with the good guys. There you go. Andrew McLean, thank you for your service. Here's a good one. Ali Boo. Ooh. Ali B-O-O. What's up, girl? What's up, Ali Boo? And then we got Brenda. Yeah.

No last name? Nah, her profile pic is a tiger face. Oh, okay. Cartoon tiger face. Hi. She's the panthoff. Brenda. Alright, so those are the names from last week, so we're a week behind. We're a week behind, but that's all right. Next week, we'll double up on the Patreon names. Thank you for our service.

Go to our Patreon page for our exclusive bonus content. Right now, for a dollar a month, we changed it. So for a dollar, you get... You get pretty much everything. You pretty much get everything. You get the bonus podcast for a dollar. You get the bonus podcast for that. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.

We got merchandise coming out soon. If anybody knows a baker, or if you are a baker, you can bake us a jajina with a pseudo-penis cake.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We got merchandise coming out soon. If anybody knows a baker or if you are a baker, you can bake us a jajina with a pseudo penis cake. We'll be forever grateful. Just DM us at brb at brb.patreon at gmail.com. That's our website.

Or DM us at Chris D Comedy. Or Giannis Papi. You can find us. Go to our Facebook or fucking Instagram. Go to ChrisDComedy.com for any of my dates comedy or uh yannis pappy you can find us go to our facebook or fucking instagram go to go to chrisdcomedy.com for any of my dates coming up and be at the comedy cell in las vegas june 6th to the 10th and i will be at the pittsburgh improv uncle vinnie's in jersey syracuse funny bone and levity live first weekend of june so get your fucking tickets get the tickets because oh i'm sorry i'm also also gonna be at the Hartford

Funny Bone next week, so come and fucking save me from fucking Hartford. I heard that's brutal, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, fuck. It's gonna be brutal. Hartford's wild. Yeah, it's gonna be fuck. I can't even go out and see shit, right? It's, like, dangerous. You know what you can get, though? Frank Pepe's. Yeah? Is it a shit hotel, too, that gig? Probably, right?

Hartford is Hartford. Yeah, it is what it is. It's a little wild out there. I mean, you know, that's where, what's his name's from? You got to think of it like that. Who? Well, I'm just breaking on the tight end for the New England Patriots. Oh, Aaron Hernandez. Yeah, he did what, to his friend, what I want to do to you and Poughkeepsie. Yeah, so he's actually a role model for you.

He's actually a little bit raw. He walked, you know, but I mean, it's horrible what he did, but you know, for you, it would be justice for the world. Yeah, I'm going to make it. All right. All right. All right. Thanks, guys. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Outro Music