History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 153 - Nimesh Patel is WILD!

Episode Date: June 5, 2020

Nimesh Patel comes on the pod with the Cuzzies to get into the plight of immigrants and make no mistake, things get WILD! (Recorded Apr 2019)Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Tasty Hopefully Smoking huh? Yeah, well she's always mad I know that's it. Those those women are always mad once you start to get older, you know, no fam, no husband No kids, it just starts to get really weird and you're just fucking mad at everything you want you know just i get it here we go welcome to the history hyenas i'm chris stefano aka chrissy chaos with me as always yannis pappas aka freddie fettichies today we have a guest you know the old saying don't bring

sand to the beach so instead i brought sand to the Ryokan studio. Nimesh Patel. We have a thing that we call sand. Let me just say this. Let me just say this. Your Chrissy take-ons too much. Chrissy take-ons. Now you're bringing that into our podcast schedule.

Okay? Oh, what do you mean? By the end of this fucking run that we're on today. Oh, yeah. We're both going to be face down dead in a pile of I'll take you outside physically. We're recording 16 episodes today because Chrissy's fucking screwed it.

No mistake, Nimesh Patel, obviously great comedian. You guys know him. SNL writer. Been a friend of mine since day one. One of my day one and great, great, great guy. And his mic is not on, Isis. and his mic's yeah put his mic on we got a chop shop operation here all that shit that i just said yeah well that's good because yeah he just said he just wanted a brilliant political rant and isis had it off so you missed

it off but that's okay because mrs poppins doesn't like when people talk during the theme song oh my bad yeah she hates that she hates that yeah that's that's true. My wife hates it, yeah. But Nimesh is our first guest we've ever had from the Eastern Hemisphere. Our first Eastern Hemi ever. Get the fuck out. Yes. I'm repping hard. I'm trying to think.

Is he? We've never had an Eastern Hemi. We've had Ari Shafir. We had Godfrey. And then we've just had a bunch of whites. We've had a bunch of whites. Yeah. You don't count Ari as a white.

Yeah. He's like, cause he's so Jewish that he's like, you know what I mean? He's kind of like an other. He's like a, so he's not like, wait,

like, you know, we've had like Andrew Schultz and Tim Dillon and tank Sinatra. These guys are just pure white. Yeah. Pure white. Yeah. Which,

um, yeah. And the mesh, no mash. Um, wanted to come in and, just talk about being full-blown Indian. I have a disease.

By the way, Nimesh is a great comic. Yeah, Nimesh is the best. He's also a great guy. Great energy. Good energy. I go by energy. I go by energy. And he's a can't-miss right now for 2019 with the industry because he's a diverse character that wears skinny jeans.

You can't miss. And Jordans. And Jordans. If you got skinny jeans, Jordans, and you're anything but white, you're going to get a job in TV. It's what it is. Oh, this brown wave is amazing. You got to be funny.

But yeah, there's a wave. There's a wave. We're riding it, man. Yeah. It's fucking beautiful. But it's starting to become, because you're 100% Indian, just like 100% white, if you're 100% black, it's almost like now time's running out for 100%. You have to almost be a bunch of different things and also transgender if it's going

to happen. I just want to say, I want to remind everyone, I'm 26% Mesopotamian Turkish. You're dirty Turk. My DNA is Arab. You got that left shoulder hair. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm from the Middle East as well.

You were born and raised in New Jersey, right? Which is where everybody who's Indian American is born and raised. There's Parsippany, New Jersey, and then there's Edison, New Jersey. Those are the two main Indian enclaves. Don't forget about Canada. And then Canada. I know, but then Toronto's a lot of Indians. But Nimesh, you also left a relatively good paying job or a great paying job to do stand-up.

Well, I left I was a finance guy. I graduated with a finance degree. Wow. But I did not utilize it well after graduation. I didn't do as well as an Indian person should do in school.

And then for like a year, I bounced around a bunch of shitty jobs. And we met in 09 when I started comedy. Yes, I met Nimesh early. I'll just say this. Nimesh is a handsome fucking kid too. He's a handsome kid. Holy shit, he's a handsome kid with a deep voice.

He's engaged too, ladies and fellas. Congratulations. I'll say this. Thank you, Chris. Nimesh Patel is the Giannis Pappas of Indian names. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Meaning Giannis Pappas, and it's also just common.

It's the most common. Thank you. Someone fucking finally, I have a bit when I say Nimesh Patel is like the Steve's of fucking, this is the most common Indian name. Nimesh Patel, I think I'm not kidding you right now. I've been to three doctors and their names have been Nimesh Patel. We are fucking everywhere, dude. It's a common Indian name.

Before I became the first Google result, if you Google Nimesh Patel, the other Google, I mean, I've done this as a joke, but it's true that the other Nimesh Patels are doctors and like queens. Well, that's why your social media handle is funny. It's Finding Nimesh. You got to find the right guy. Find the right guy. It's hilarious.

Do you know how fucking huge it is to be the top Google search as Mimesh Patel? Yeah. There's 1 billion Indian people on the planet. I bet you 700 million of them are named Mimesh Patel. Yeah. And I'm here, dog. Because you're the King Mimesh Patel. And I know you've talked about it so much, but sometimes, not that we talk about politics,

well, sometimes Yannis does. Just check his Twitter feed yanni long days um but like it's crazy how like the left liberal ate themselves when you are and you know the columbia university thing which i'm sure you've talked about a thousand times don't have to talk about it but how it's like you are like the face of diversity saying the right things being the right things and then even you got eaten a lot oh it was that was it's just fucking crazy of all the comments that i've read on the youtube videos and shit the funniest like love it when the left eats their own i'm like what the fuck is happening it's so true that i'm like i'm on your team dog cuz come to our side trump 2020 oh dude right every fucking

mets game just please the hindus for trump, there's a lot of Hindus for Trump now. There's a group in Edison, and I know one of the people behind me. Wei Zhongxian. Yeah. Wei Zhongxian. It just means we're joking when you hear Wei Zhongxian. Wei Zhongxian, what the quick backstory is, he was an ancient eunuch in one of the Chinese dynasties. And it just organically happened. Now, we just thought the way his pronunciation was, Shan Xian was funny in this robot voice so now anytime

mostly I say something that's fucking wildly out of control and not PC we just say Wei Shan Xian and that's the Cantonese pronunciation oh what was the first pronunciation Wei Shan Xian Mandarin right yeah Danish is the main pronunciation

oh that's what that shit is queued up over there that's what Zach has usually he doesn't have it queued up like that. That's how Chop Shot is. We're getting worse, Zach. Our podcast is getting big but our production is getting worse. Pronounce Wiki, Doc. He's got Pronounce Wiki just open on the screen.

Yeah, we could do this from our house. We got high definition cameras here. We got a Saturday Night Live writer here. And don't forget, you're in the presence of Chris DeStef night live writer here and don't forget you're in the presence of chris de stefano don't forget you're in the presence of chris ed i'm that fuck i'm that white motherfucker from guy code yeah that's what it is andrew shultz yeah yo aren't you chris shultz i'm yeah yo andrew de stefano yeah yeah um yeah so hindus for trump dog it's a thing.

And it bottles the shit out of me. Right. Because all these. Yeah, you have to turn your phone. I mean, how. It's the first time it's ever happened while we've been doing it. Yeah, it has. But it also.

A lot of firsts today. But I mean, it's also. First East Asian, first phone. The text rings. It's always like, bing. The first time we've had Wikipedia up. Yeah, the fucking sausage is being made right there. I'm sorry.

I'm just getting mad. It's getting hot in the studio and I just want to tell him to mess. He may not be safe. Well, no, now you are because make no mistake, the clouds have come out in here in New York City. The rain has started. And what I like to call this day,

it's just a beautiful summer day in Munich. Wei Shengxing, Zach, please come on. Zach, you have to listen to the podcast while we do it. Whenever you hear the word Munich or Sandra, hit the fucking button. So Mesh Money. Oh, and also, by the way, Bay Ridge Boys episode two,

Mesh Money makes an appearance at the end of it because he's a third Bay Ridge Boy. My favorite ask was, hey, look, man, we couldn't get Mo the Muslim to be a Muslim. Can you be Muslim for this fucking scene? Please. Yes.

You have to do it. What a privilege in my life. No problem. It actually turned out great. It turned out great. I don't know how good of an actor Mo is, but you were great. You were actually perfect. I wish we gave it to you with your gene.

Yeah. But you got it anyway, so it was great. Thanks for doing it. Thank you for having me. That was fun. Yeah, so these Hindus for Trump. It's a whole group. It bothers me so much because it's like, you know you've made it as a minority when you can vote for Donald Trump.

To start a group that's pro-Donald Trump, it bothers me so much. I don't like rich Indians. Do you feel, though, as an Indian American, you're a group, how do you feel about your group racially? Do you guys feel like you do well, not do group like how do you feel about like your group racially do you guys feel like you do well not do well like how do you well i mean we are the rich asian americans in general are the richest minority yes by far but there's also the biggest wealth gap is between rich asians and poor really yeah like americans asian americans like there's so many in fucking deep queens and everywhere like yeah these halal car guys, they're not balling.

They're not making any money. They're so poor. But I guarantee you their kids or their grandkids will be. A lot of them. It's a weird poverty trap. I've never once in my life seen an Indian or Chinese homeless person. Dude, I mean, you're not walking in Chinatown. There's some homeless.

Yeah. You very rarely see them. All the canned people are. All the canned people. They're not homeless. yeah. You very rarely see all the canned people. All the canned people. They're not homeless. Those people are not homeless. But they're poor. They may be poor,

but I'm talking about full-blown homeless. You don't see them out sleeping on the street is what you're saying. No. Yeah. Very rarely.

They figure out a way. But Asians and South Asians are the most successful immigrants. Absolutely. And it happened quick. Yeah. That's the amazing thing about it. That's why you gotta say,

God, some of this has to be cultural because it happened quick. This is, this is fun. It's like, I was talking about this with a friend of mine. It's like when Lyndon B. Johnson lifted the Asian American Exclusion Act, it was like 1965, 1947 in India, England had just left India. And so the government of India announced like a bunch of grants for people to study uh so they became doctor scientists engineers but they didn't have the jobs or the infrastructure for those people to then get sure work and right after lbj lifted that act they only let in the best of

the best like the way trump wanted so it was like engineers we were getting like the creme de la creme of indian people and asians when they allowed them that they were reproduced wow and they came here and they fucking snatched up the motels and snatched up every job opportunity they could and they had that sort of the smartest people and so they just really are yeah i yeah i mean that's like i know it's a hack thing but it's like always like oh cheat off the indian kid or the chinese kid about you know because they're the best we gotta also understand there's it's not it sucks sucks so much that the stereotype is a lot of this mad smart and neat people because some of us are just dumb. Some are.

It's so dumb. But that's where I think you can read. Everyone has a theory because they're trying to sell a perspective. Sure. You know, when you read everything, it's like you read something, especially nowadays, objective news is hard to come. So you read something, everyone has a perspective they're selling to sort of market themselves. I'm the guy who's saying this.

The truth is there has to be cultural factors at play. Now, you're not all smart genetically, you know, whatever. But the Greeks are. No, no, no. The Greeks are superior. Yeah. But same with the Greeks genetically, whatever. But the Greeks are. No, no, no. The Greeks are superior. Yeah. But same with the Greeks because it's similar with the Greeks. The Greeks came as immigrants and then they became one of the most successful.

And so it's hard work. So even the Indians and Asians who aren't that smart, the family – and I know this because my uncle used to teach violin lessons, all his fucking students were Indian and Asian. They were all used to that. So the families, the tiger mom,

that thing is a thing. Yeah. It's like, it's emphasized, the Jewish people do it too. Do you think it's like a survivor thing with like immigrants,

no, they gotta survive so they have to. 100, it's, here's an opportunity. Right. I mean,

look, we bash America all the fucking time. And like I was saying before, that's a good thing. That means we're in a free society. It's good. And we should always bash it. But what's happened now is like, it's like there's no good aspect. Nobody ever mentions anything good. It's like until you talk to the grandparent who's going like, what are you kids talking about?

I came here and I was a busboy for fucking 20 years and I saved every dime. I opened my own diner. I saved. And, you know, you talk to the Greek guy who's a hot dog stand vendor and now his grandkids or his kids are in medical school. It's like that didn't happen from a policy that that happened from straight fucking hard work because finally these people who've been starving for generations have an opportunity and let's be honest america's pretty good for that america's a pretty good place for saying hey man if you come here and you fucking work hard and you're innovative you know look at fucking this kid was a syrian refugee he was adopted he was

fucking who marcus lomonas? Fucking. I just had early onset. He founded Apple. I'm stupid. Sandra Dee? Steve Jobs? Steve Jobs. I mean, he's.

He was a Syrian refugee? Syrian fucking refugee. Adopted kid who ended up changing the entire fucking world. And you got to say, it's America. That happens in America. And the rest of the world is now imitating that American model in a lot of ways. They should. I mean, America remains the land of opportunity.

I feel like the opportunity is decreasing like mad. I think to your point of the next, the Hull All Cards kids, they're going to have a lot tougher time than like i did like well i think that i think that's the opportunity set is shrinking i think that's why there's more the opportunities in like what like tech no i think the there's just more people and now now you're just gonna have to be better at everything less spots yeah it's even true in comedy it's like less and less spots i mean look it's even true in comedy. It's like you're just in less and less spots. I mean, look, it's a very good point because it's based in reality. Like when my dad came back from Korea,

World War II generation, there was millions and millions and millions of just boys dead. So he wasn't smart. He just got into law school because there was just open spots. They were like,

hey, we need people. They were like fucking giving grants to get people into law school because like everyone was dead. A whole generation of kids was just depleted. So, yeah, now it's like, yeah, and we have no wars. We're living to like 90s. It's getting crowded.

It's getting a little crowded. We don't need import people. We need to export a lot of us. But also to speak to this point because I was just actually reading this yesterday. It's not just Indians and South Asians That are outpacing Indians and South Asians are at the top And of course we gotta give a shout out to Godfrey

Nigerians are up there too Godfrey said Nigerians were number one above Indians It's just not true But since Godfrey's just Godfrey We'll just say it's a Godfrey fact And when he said that in hockey That the best defensemen are black I mean the amount of tweets we've gotten

About how that's not true is mind-blowing. Finally, your listeners respond to something. Yeah, and I also did a little research about basketball being founded by Native Americans. It's not that simple. It's not that clean-cut. It's what we call a Godfrey fact from now on. Yeah, it's a Godfrey fact of the day, which means it's pretty much not true, but he has a mental illness and he's on steroids, so we just say

yes. But to his point, but to his point, Nigerians, it's just what it is, and yeah, Zach's just slow today, but Nigerians do extremely well. Same ethic, same work ethic. As do, to your point,

most immigrants, when you, they out pays, when it comes to high school education, when it comes to post-high school education, to graduate school level, all immigrants, it seems, for the most part, that go South American, Asian, South Asian, Nigerian, Southern European, Balkan area, they just are outpacing Americans

because Americans are fucking comfortable, fat, and complacent. So a kid like Nimesh Kattel is just going to take your spot and open a motel in your neighborhood because the kid is motivated and he's fucking 100% screwed in. That's what we do, dawg.

Motels. Talk to us about it. I forget, I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma, like two weeks ago. By the way, where are you getting married? Where? Yeah. Brooklyn. Nice.

Is it going to be an Indian wedding? I have to do two. I have to do two goddamn weddings because I have to do like a normal size wedding and then I have to do an Indian size wedding wedding because my fiance wants to do an American reception and my mom wants me to do the Hindu thing and it would be too big of a wedding. How many people are going to be at the Hindu one? Probably like 200-something. Yeah.

And then the white one will be? Like 160. Wow. Let me just say this. Let me just say this. Say it loud, say it proud. Say it loud. Let me be crystal clear with the people.

Make no mistake. Don't forget where you are. You're in the boundaries right now of America, which is the greatest country in the world. Don't forget our laws. Let me just be crystal clear with the people. Make no mistake. Don't forget where you are. You're in the boundaries right now of America, which is the greatest country in the world. Don't forget our laws. Let me just be crystal clear with the people. We say all the time Italian food is the number one food to Jordan of food. Yeah.

I believe that's true. I believe that's true. This doesn't get enough credit, and it needs to be said, and I'm saying it here first. Oh, shit. Indian weddings are the best weddings. Hands down, if you want to go to a fun celebration with fucking elephants in every color

in the spectrum and people partying their ass off people dancing around a ring of fire I mean Indians love to flex on weddings every time you see

a floor collapse in a wedding it's an Indian wedding yeah cause you're fucking dancing around having a great time yeah and somebody's

on an elephant always 40 people at every Indian wedding die. Because Indian elephants... God-free fact. God-free fact of the day. God-free fact of the day.

Yeah. Jesus is real. God-free fact of the day. He is. If my mother's listening, she's pissed. Yeah, she is. But, yo, Indian weddings need more... It needs to be recognized that they have the funnest,

most colorful festive weddings. It's a weird amount of pressure to have white friends who are like, hey man, you gonna get a horse? No, man, I'm not getting no fucking horse. So my Indian wedding will be for the Hindu ceremony. It'll be 200 people watching me and my girl walk around a fire for three hours. I wish we were better friends so I could come.

Oh man, dude, just crash. I've never been to an Indian wedding. Just crash. I'm gonna take Michael J's spot could come. Oh, man. I'm going to crash. I'm going to take Michael Che's spot. Don't worry. Michael Che may not respond to the text and he may not show up. Well, he just does that to us. He responds to your text. Mimesh,

Michael Che, Jared Free, these guys are close friends. They look like community college. They look like community college brochure. Brochure, yeah. Michael Che will respond to my first message and then never respond again yeah michael che if you're listening i know you're not because you cut off social media yeah well just yeah if you want che to respond just send him a text of the new jordans and then he'll pique his interest and then you have his interest that's what it is yeah you want che to respond you gotta talk some shit about

colin in a newspaper. Colin Jones, yeah. And then he'll respond on Instagram. Colin Jones is from Staten Island. He's from Staten Island, but you would never know. You would never know that that kid's from the island. Colin is so New York. It's amazing. Yeah.

What were we talking about? Oh, Indian weddings. Indian hotels and yeah. So yeah, we're not getting married at a hotel or anything like that. But I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I was doing a spot. They probably loved you there. Dude, this is the wildest shit. I get there.

It's like a 140-seat room. There's like 30 Indian people there. Wow. And in Tulsa, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And I talked to them. I mean, I was like, what, do you guys own the Holiday Inn across the street? And they're like, actually, yes. Because that's the story of of Indian Americans owning motels.

Like they came in like the 60s. And that was when there was a financial crisis. So land was kind of cheap and motels were cheap. They just bought a motel and then invite all their, sponsored their cousins to come work. So because you don't have to pay them that much. They could just live there, stack your paper and just rinse and repeat. And they'd end up in these bumblefuck places like Tulsa and Nebraska and fucking Kansas. Yeah.

And now they have empires of motels. They're multi, multi, multi-millionaires, billionaires now. It's fucking nuts, dude. I've stayed in, you know, when you start out in comedy, you do a bunch of one-nighters. They put you up in a lot of, I've stayed in a few Indian motels, yeah, on the road. They'll skimp where they can. Yeah, so I've stayed in a few Indian motels Yeah On the road They'll skimp where they can

Yeah So I've done it a few times Also you gotta say They probably hired all the relatives and stuff Like cause my father Sent My grandfather Sent for his brother

It's also like What are you gonna do? Hire like a Third generation American Who wants to take a smoke break Every 15 minutes Right no Or you want

Or do you wanna hire Your cousin Namesh Who is gonna work 20 hours a week Cause he's just fucking happy That he can get chicken fingers Across the street every 15 minutes? Or do you want to hire your cousin, Damesh, who is going to work 20 hours a week because he's just fucking happy that he can get chicken fingers across the street? That's exactly what it is, dog.

He can go to fucking Burger King whenever he wants. And a lot of these fucking white people have the nerve to not want to clean a toilet or make a bed. I get it. You know?

It's not like this fucking 18-year-old Indian guy is going to be like, shit, I get to be in America and eat Burger King. I'll do that. One of these states tried to ban illegals. Like they tried to ban-

Arizona. No, it was- Was it Arizona? Zach, can you look it up quick, please? Tried to ban illegal- Tried to ban illegals. And it's a great 60 Minutes piece on it. I have early onset because I'm older than you guys and I'm dying.

Yeah. Slowly dying. Slowly dying. I mean, forgetting Steve Jobs, you've got to go to a doctor, though. I need another falaf dying. Yeah. Slowly dying. Slowly dying. I mean, forgetting Steve Jobs is a, you gotta go to a doctor though. I need another falafel. Yeah. People who listen to this are gonna be listening to this

four weeks later and be like, the kid eats a lot of falafels. Yeah. But they tried to ban illegals and the farmers, Alabama, so they did it.

Makes sense. They successfully banned, like you can't, you gotta show, they banned it. And the farmers were for it because everyone's on that fucking dumb train. Right. And then people, farmers were for it you know because everyone's on that fucking dumb train

right and then and then people farmers like yo man we we're bleeding we can't

they tried they tried to hire people nobody wanted to do the job that's right what they tried to do after that it's a true story it's a great you know

it's a great example of why illegal labor is here in a lot of ways and then they tried to give it to prison guys. They tried to like use prison guys. And even prison guys are like, man, I need a smoke break. They would try to give the prison guys incentives to do it.

They didn't even want to do it. So it's like to pick fucking strawberries and throw them in a bucket in like a line in that fucking heat. To do that, you have to have the willpower of someone who really wants to be here bad because where they're from fucking sucks right and they got family back there they're trying to get them the fuck out of there so they gotta send shit home like it's such a dollar here means a lot more going back there yeah because it just we're not americans are not willing to do that type of work. They just won't. No matter which way you crumble the cookie, it's not going to happen.

No matter which way the cookie crumbles, you have early onset dementia. I do. Yeah. I mean, think about my grandfather at his restaurant, at his diner. Greeks do 24-hour diner. My dad used to tell me he would spend sometimes 18 hours there. He'd come home for three hours. Yeah, man.

Yeah, like take a shower, sleep for uh 45 minutes and then go back i see my halal card guy right in brooklyn on atlantic and flatbush i guess it is no on flatbush and henson i don't know anyway near the near the a lot long you're doing a wrestling movie by the bar Barclays Center. Yeah, right by. There's a halal cart there. I've seen that guy there from like 11 a.m. to like 1 a.m. Sure. And he'll be like passed out, but he'll. And he's inhaling gas fumes. Yeah. But he'll wake right up and whip that shit up for you.

There's no white guy that's going to be at a fucking halal cart. In the dead of summer, he's out there. Yeah, just sweating. It makes the chicken good. Because I had Alex Carabagno. You know Alex Carabagno? Yeah. His dad redid the childhood home.

I had to renovate it, and he did it. And he was just telling me when he came here, he was telling me, he's like, the generations are just so different now. He's like,

my kids, they don't want to work. You know what I mean? He's like, I came here when I was a teenager. I learned English, worked, you they don't want to work. You know what I mean? He's like, I came here when I was a teenager. I learned English, worked. I lived to work. Consumerism is such an American ideal.

My generation, our generation, our parents were content with just very minimal stuff because back home it was nothing. They had shit back home. So they would come here and be like, oh, we got a one-bedroom apartment the water runs whenever we want it right now we're just gonna work our asses off so our kids have a slightly better life we have such better lives we don't even we just take all this shit for granted yeah right there's no it's a different work ethic did your parents grow up in india and not have running water and like that oh yeah that kind of india When I went in 2013, I went to see where my parents grew up in 2013. And my mom took me,

and my grandparents were English teachers in India. They were not well off, but they were well to do in India. To have a job like that is a good job. Yeah, my grandfather was like a principal of a huge school. And I went to see where they grew up and my mom took me to the

little shack where there was a hole in the ground where they would shit and piss. And they had like a stick for bugs and snakes. I'm like, you did that? And it was still the same shack with the hole in 2013. Nothing updated, nothing changed.

Nothing changed. Nothing changed. And I was like, holy shit. Wow. This is, I mean, we got nothing. Russell Peters has a funny joke where he goes, the first time he went to India, he's like, let me at my people, my Indian people. And then he's like, the door opened,

and he caught the first whiff, and he was like, I'm Canadian. Yeah, man. Sometimes the stereotypes aren't necessarily true, but there is a truth to a lot of it. Once I went to India and I came back, I never felt bad for poor people in America because poverty in India is not...

Poor people here are rich. Yeah, they are. That's what I say. That's why sometimes I say on stage and I can't really, it doesn't go well because I look like an undercover cop and I look like a white person that's not, that's evil. You look like you marched on Charlottesville. Yeah. Yeah.

I look like a tiki torch. Yeah. But when I say like, you know, Americans are just bored. It's like, you don't have any real fucking problems here. Like you have problems, but it's like, stop. Sell your trailers. Yeah. Take that 10, 12 G's and go live like a king in India.

Yeah. It's a great solution to the problem. Oh, yeah. If you're struggling here, just go become a king in Honduras. Go to India. Yeah. Just go to India. Dude, food is one of the most expensive costs here in America, like relative to what, food

is such a huge cost here. Go to India, you will eat like a fucking to what food is such a huge cost here go to india you will eat like a fucking what's higher than a king like a god that you'll eat like a roman emperor you will eat anything there jeter's the only thing higher anything you want you'll eat like jeter you eat like derrick jeter yeah you know it's i did social work for five years yeah so poor people in america yeah they get benefits they get health care you know i'm not saying they have it good because they are poor right but as far as like if you're going to be poor in a country being poor in america is a good place to be poor yeah we're the only country

that has fat poor people yeah exactly so it's like how if you're fat and poor what is your real problem i mean taxpayers we i worked in anRO, which was taxpayers pay for a building for homeless people to live in. They got Section 8. They got a stipend from the government. They get money. Their prescriptions are free. They go to the doctor whenever they want. Right.

A lot of them go too much. Let's eat the poor. That's the solution, right? Yeah. Let's fucking eat them. That's the solution, right? Yeah. Let's fucking eat them. It's a complicated world. There's always, it's never 100% comfortable truths wherever you look. You know, it's just kind of like, you got to understand that there's not one fix all

solution to everything. That's what adults, I think, understand more than people who kind of live in a childish reality where they're just like, all you got to do is this. Right. to everything. That's what adults, I think, understand more than people who kind of live in a childish reality, where they're just like, all you gotta do is this. All we gotta do is give free education, and everything is solved, you know? Or it's like... Say that again

with a Bernie accent. Yeah. All we gotta do is give free education to everybody. First, did you see What's-His-Name do the Bernie impersonation, the most recent one? James Adobian? No. He's walking around the street just going percents. He's going 4% of 2% is 1%.

So if we take the 14%, we minimize it to 4%, and then the people get 50%. Because most of his speeches, he's always talking percents. The tax rate is 30%. That's how you lose people. You do math. They're like, all right, yeah, sure. I'll vote for you. Or you look like him. That's how you lose them, too. You. They're like, all right, yeah, sure. I'll go for you. Or you look like him.

That's how you lose them, too. You look like you've been teaching math to urban youth for the last 20 years, somewhere deep in Brooklyn as a substitute teacher. He's got that 1% money, dude. What? Yeah. Oh, wow. We're overlapping.

Wow. Yeah. Now we got J Train who's going to be on the – Should we just make it all one big super episode? No. No. Okay. We got J Train.

Because we're screwed in. We're screwed and we got yarmulkes on. We're fucking trying to make the most money. I thought we were going to bring yarmulkes for the Jared Freed episode. We should have brought yarmulkes for Jared Freed. I knew why this episode felt frantic because we've got that J-Train energy behind us.

I like it. That's funny. The J-Trains, we're clogging the station for the J-Train. I know. Yeah, for the J. But that's because there's a sick passenger on board and his name's Isis. Zach Isis. J-Train and the Mesh. J-Train and the J train. I know. Yeah, but that's because there's a sick passenger on board. And his name's Isis.

Zach Isis. J train and Namesh. J train and Namesh are good friends along with Michael Che that makes up the community college brochure. So it's okay that they're all

in the same room right now. Yeah. We're talking about Indian motels. Yeah. You guys came up together, the three of you guys. You're the same class. Me, Jared, and Namesh.

No, no, no. Namesh, Che, and Jared. Same class. Yeah, but I'm in that class, too. Oh, you're in that class, too? I'm in that class, yeah. We all started together. So Schultz, too, is in there?

Schultz, he's a little before. Okay. Yeah, Schultz a little before. Who else? I guess... Wolf. Michelle Wolf. Michelle Wolf.

Yeah, we all did open... Greg Stone and Anthony DeVito. Yeah. They started, yeah. We're all doing open mics together. Nice. Sam Morrill, Mark Norman, all these guys were a little ahead. You guys got a successful class.

Very successful class. Everyone's doing well. For the most part, yeah. We got a good group. We have a pretty good group, yeah. And it's a nice diverse group, too. Barnett. Kevin Barnett.

Rest in peace. R.I.P. Wow. Fowler, too? Jermaine. Wow. He was a little before, too, though. You know what it is you guys might be the generation

actually that coincided with like the internet kind of exploding and the boom because like yeah I mean comedy

is a lucrative wide open fucking lane right now right like it's like don't tell people that man yeah yeah we gotta stop them

there's a lot of people trying to swim yeah but they're gonna do it anyway yeah I mean like it's the same thing we There's a lot of people trying to swim. Yeah, but they're going to do it anyway. Yeah. I mean, it's the same thing we're talking about. What are they going to do? Go study to be doctors? They're going to turn on YouTube and be like, I could do this.

I could do this. Let's make a vine. What are Nimesh Patel's doing these days? Oh, I could do that. So you got booed off a stage at which college? Columbia. Wow. The greatest school in New York.

Yeah. Was it a white kid who did it with Boogie? No, it was all Asians, man. Asians? Like Eastern Hemmings? Like what? Like Orientals? Eastern Hemmings.

Zach, fucking wake up, man. I mean, did you think my dad's on the cast? Did you hear the word Oriental? You think Chris Pappas was here? Eastern Hemmings, man. Eastern Hemmings. They fucking, yeah. They're all people. That's how you know you Hemis, man. Eastern Hemis, they fucking, yeah. That's how-

They're all people. That's how you know you made it, man, when you could kick a fucking- You got to do Joe Rogan, though. That was great. Because of it. Yeah, it was fantastic. That was fucking awesome. Such a welcoming dude.

Now, what did they do? So what was the joke that got you in trouble? The joke is about how I don't think being gay could be a choice because no one would choose to be gay if they're already black. Which is a fairly, I think, treaded water by this or treaded ground by this point. But I said it just to say that the only person who chooses to be gay is Mike Pence, right? Who chooses not to be gay is Mike Pence. And then was it silence in the room?

Oh, I mean, with the first part, yes. That shit fucking crickets. Yeah, but that's colleges. They all, everything. Yeah, so many bits I have are just crickets. If you take a stance on anything in front of a college crowd, whatever it is. I remember I had a soccer joke at, what was it? Carnegie Mellon.

First of all, Carnegie. Yeah, I performed. Those kids, it was like. They're geniuses. It was all Indians and Asians. Yeah, engineering school. Yeah, I said the word Croatian. And there was oohs. And I stopped the show because, you know, I'm a little crazy on occasion.

And I go, I need to know. I was like, no, no, no, no. And then they started shying away. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And then they told, I was like, I need to, what was it? What, what was it? And they go, he's Croatian. That's what they said.

Oh, he's Croatian. Because there was a crowd of them in the front. And they'd all gather around him. And I go, I go, I go, there's a lot of Croatian. What does that have? Why did that make you go, ooh? Why did that make you? And they didn't know.

It was just like because someone they knew was Croatian, they heard Croatian. And they're like, I'm saying something offensive about Croatians. Right. Goes in the brain. They think they know how to process it. So what happens? So it's radio silence. So it bombs.

Whatever. We've all been there with colleges. But then what happens? So it's radio silence. So it bombs, whatever. We've all been there with colleges, but then what happens? I keep going for another three or four minutes. I'm talking to a girl in the front row.

I make a joke about Newark because that's where my dad landed in like 1979. It's amazing that someone can land in Newark and go, this place is amazing.

Dude, I'm saying like, we're going to go, we're going to leave India. Calcutta. To the beautiful vistas of newark new jersey probably got off and be like yo i want to go back i gotta go back man jesus and i made a joke about oh they called newark brick city back then because if you looked at someone wrong they'd hit you with a brick right which is just like a simple throw and some girl is in the front and she's from newark and she she's like, that's not true.

And I'm like, well, yeah, it's Weisheng Shen or whatever. I'm joking, yeah. And then I go back and forth with her for like three, four minutes, and it's like uncomfortable but not uncomfortable. Is it getting laughs or zero laughs? Maybe one out of like 20 things I said got a choke. How many people are in the showroom? 400, 300, 400 people.

It's a big show. Yeah, but it's like an auditorium. It's not like a theater. It's like a cafeteria. Right, I get it, yeah. Huge ceilings or whatever. And this is going on to an uncomfortable length. It's just not funny.

So I'm uncomfortable because it's not funny. She's uncomfortable because I'm asking personal questions. And then that's when the three girls that invited me to do the show came on stage. Wow. And told me that I had to leave. They came on stage in the middle of the show? In the middle of the set. Yeah.

And she was- Turning the lights on. I mean, the lights were on. Right. They come on, and you just saw them out of the corner of your eye. I clocked them right after I told the joke, the offensive- They were like on edge. They immediately came.

They came on the stage? No, they immediately came stage left Oh And I saw them Did you get Did you try to punch Do you think one of them Was coming to punch you?

No I just I didn't I just thought it was weird Yeah I was like oh Something would have happened Something is happening But I don't know what

Because they would have Interrupted Yeah Immediately if something Was happening So there's no timing issue You didn't think it was you At first

You thought like Something happened I just in my brain I'm like that's strange but i'm not thinking i'm about to get kicked off i'm thinking yeah you got social warrior jumped yeah yeah nowadays when you get jumped it's social warrior style just coming at you well yeah it was so they come on and just take the mic from you no they give me an opportunity let me say my they ask first i ask them what is happening in front of everybody like there's 400 kids but you're on the mic to them be like what's happening i got a mic

they have mics and they like come on like uh we need you to go i'm like what and then they tell me that the the what's a crew the crew has to leave or some shit i'm like it's a lie what are you talking about um and then they say uh you know, you said some offensive things. This is in front of everybody. They're saying on the microphone, you're saying some offensive things. Yes. Oh, my God. And I'll show you the tape.

I've never aired the tape. I'll show you guys at some point. I appreciate it. Oh, wow. You have it on tape? Oh, it's fucking. On your phone? I have the video somewhere yeah in my phone

um because i had a crew taping the whole thing why didn't you put it up oh you had a crew for you for your own work i'm tape i'm trying to so but i'm doing this hour uh and i in november i was trying to run the hour as many times i could so i had this crew there running the hour with me filming on like fucking 4k i'm like oh sure this oh no so you have this for later you're gonna put this on we will see this at some point uh maybe like after a special comes out yeah you know just like as a fucking once the credits run to my first hour it'll be this yeah uh and so 300 people are watching this happen, and they're fucking talking to me. I'm like, they're like, yo, we need you to go. I'm like, why?

They're like, we don't think you're entitled to make some of the jokes you made. I'm like, which one? What are you talking about? I'm Asian. I'm talking about. This is in front of everybody. Still, we're on the mics. Nobody's taking you off stage yet.

Correct. This is so nuts to me. I have to keep saying it because it's blowing my mind. You know what else? I didn't know this part. His joke is like as left as you can get. It's so like pro-gay.

It's such a left perspective. It's weird. The only reason this whole thing blew up is because it was the perfect storm of, I'm a brown guy. I'm at the biggest school in new york the most elite school in new york sure yeah i'm an ex are you a brown guy yes quite a hundred percent indian race is a construct for me i just see i'm an indian patel no no i just see a hotel

yeah i just it's a construct race is a contrast to the only thing i see is fucking white people those people i can see so okay i'm white on paper if you took the name nimesh patel and put like no but yeah oh yeah nobody your fiance's father family has no problem with you coming no they're you're they you're white yeah you're a white person i'm accepted you're accepted white. Oh, is your fiance white? She's white, yeah. Connecticut white. Whoa. Jewish. Wow. Whoa-zers.

I like stories like that. That's what you got to do. It's beautiful. When their kid's going to have a very strong immune system because interbreeding. It's funny. It's true. It's real life, dog. It's true.

The more we've spoken about it, the more diverse the child is racially. Really? Yes. Oh, for sure. Is this like a God-free fact? No, no, no. It's a real fact. That's for sure.

You're not supposed to be mating with your own race as far as nature goes. Because we are tribal, and we need it. We're tribal to protect our tribe, and so that's why we have that thing, I'm Greek, I'm Greek, let's fuck. Right. But nature actually wants you to walk somewhere. Wants you to do the opposite. Yeah.

Wants you to go find what Chrissy found, something a little different, like what you found, something a little different. My fiance is about as opposite in rent races as it could be to me. So wait, okay, so they're saying this and then do you just make the decision to walk off

or are they like, the police are coming? No, they asked me, it felt like that. No, they asked me if I have any closing remarks and I tried to- Trump 2020,

that's what I would have said. That's what I would have fucking. That's what I would have fucking said and walked off. 100%. At that point, burn it down. And you caused it.

I would have said, you motherfuckers just caused me to fucking go Trump 2020. Yeah, at that point, you should have burnt it down. I mean, I'm glad I remained composed

because part of me, I felt getting angry. And I was just like like i cannot fucking flip out in front of 400 columbia students right now yeah and then they asked me about closing remarks i tried to save it with a bit and then they cut my mic it didn't work that no i'll bit fucking bombed and then they cut my shit and then uh and then i just walk off there's a girl there who tells me she's gonna escort me me out. I'm like, what? I'm not going to fight anybody. I want to talk to these people.

They didn't let me talk to them. They wanted you out of the building. Which felt like, in hindsight, I'm glad I didn't talk to them. Because then you would have gotten angry. Because then I would have gotten angry. Because immediately after I went to where my crew was, my two friends who were taping me and some of the other members of the group that invited me were there. You need a water?

Can we get you a water? Oh, no, no. Oh, you got a water? Okay. You sound like you're getting choked. I was just a little burpy. Shout out to the Smithtown Water Department. Shout out to the Smithtown Water Department.

Smithtown Water Department. Why are we shouting them out? We just randomly do random shit. We're also shouting out the Germantown Reuter Department of Philadelphia. Yeah. There's not a lot of rhyme and reason to some of this stuff. Just go ahead. Yeah, continue.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, it's a hyenas. We're the history hyenas. So you said you were about to punch one of these Asian students in the face. Yeah, so what happened? And then you yelled Trump 2020. I yelled Trump 2020, Trump 2024, Trump 2028. Yeah.

No, there's some girl there who was like, we're so sorry that we don't know what that was about. And I was like, I don't want to talk to you guys right now. Oh, so you had people on your side. Yeah, I was like, I cannot talk to anybody right now. I'm getting the fuck out of here because I literally, I listened to the taping. I was like, I'm too angry to talk to you people.

I'm going to get the fuck out of here. And I walk out. Yeah, that was a smart move. I texted him first. Texted J Train who was drunk. He's like, you get paid? Drunk and dealing with a hangover. I was like, yeah, you're right, Jared.

So you did get the paycheck in full. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. I made sure. Got that money? Yeah. My agent was the first person, second person I texted. Like, yo, fucking make sure I get paid on this because this is ridiculous what just happened.

Did you know that it was going to become a story, a big story? How did it get to the New York Times? How did they find out? Well, what happened was it became a story on Sunday because- And the show was what, Friday? The show was Friday. Again, like Perfect Storm, brown guy, Columbia, SNL, Asian group, innocuous joke, right? Like all five. If I had said some mean shit, it would have beenuous joke, right? Like, all five.

If I had said some mean shit, it would have been a very different story. But somebody leaked it. Somebody leaked it. Columbia is, like, the top journalism program on the planet. There's a bunch of aspiring journalists in the room, and one of them fucking immediately hit up her school newspaper. And then I was like, okay, whatever. No one reads that shit.

Saturday, I'm just like stressed but i'm like i'm annoyed but you're not thinking everyone's gonna care about that i don't think it's a fuck it's a it's a dead by monday thing yeah then that's again emails and it's like right-wing reporter wants to fucking hit me up and i'm like oh shit and then i look her up and her shit is like why planned parenthood is bad for america i'm like i can't talk to this fucking lady i'm not gonna be on this lady's team but turns out she is like like a prominent right-wing journalist has like 15 16 000 twitter followers which is not a lot but enough to like make a splash a true journalist even if you don't like her content yeah sure i

mean i don't i forget the name of the site like she's a fucking real journalist she's a she's a columbia grad columbia journalism school grad so that's why she was interested so she she tweets it she tweets she tries to get me to say something i don't say anything she gives her take about it and then that's when it starts to get picked up in like, what's it called? Right-wing news. Meanwhile, all the left-wing is saying I'm a bad guy, all this kind of bullshit, and trying to give their takes as to what happened at the show. Even though they weren't there, they don't know anything. They weren't there. There's one that says I was using stereotypes to make fun, and my comedy was boring.

I'm like okay fine you could say all that shit but a i am a brown guy i'm an indian guy who's saying things about indian people that i think are fairly unique in perspective and b it wasn't bombing like i'll admit a bomb i don't give a shit this was i'll give it like a c plus performance if i'm gonna be honest right which at a college columbia grades on a curve anyway so i think it's fine yeah uh and so while the left wing is going off on their shit the right wing starts sitting on us and then like i think tuesday i'm on bright part and i'm like they're in your in my favor yeah i'm pro whatever they're making me pro their thing i'm like okay this is wild they plugged you into their cause and then tucker emails me

tries to make me talk on his shit and i'm not coming i'm not going on tucker carlson even though like everyone was like yo you gotta go on tucker carlson i think you were like you've got to go yeah because you would have fucking sold out immediately. You move tickets on Tucker Carlson. Yeah. You move tickets. 100%. Right when kids buy tickets.

If you ask me and Jared Friedwell, we think it's probably going to be leaning a little right. Well, you know what it is. But you know what the truth is? We don't got roommates. So, you know what it is?

It's probably, it's probably, it probably will swing right just like culturally yeah and then you'll see a lot of people pretend to be right like sure you know like it's just a lot of people will just start going that way and be like yeah man you know fuck this pc shit well i was on your side from the beginning i was there's not one part of me that ever thought anything you said or did about that thing was ever offensive and it's like thank you and i'm not a right-wing person but it's like why is the right wing like i'm

agreeing with the right wing i'm like yeah what how could anybody see this any differently yeah that's the wildest shit when like you start reading all the fake shit that comes out and you start agreeing with some of those shit that happens on the right like oh yeah this is kind of when trump says like fake news i'm like yeah kind of of course it's kind of felt it now yeah and so and that became a national thing on i think like wednesday on tucker like they talked about me on tucker and then uh thursday i wake up and lenny marcus texted me at like 7 30 in the morning oh yeah a picture of me trending on yahoo i'm like oh shit i'm trending on yeah how did you feel about all this were you nervous i fucking i it was i wasn't nervous i

was just annoyed because i i've been trying to like not be on my phone and and not pay attention to like social media and all this kind of shit but in december for the first week of december i'm just constantly getting alerts like oh oh shit, this is what's happening. And it's like all of these articles being, I'm like, I fucking hated it. Has it died down now? Yeah, that's what I was wondering. Oh, it's dead. Yeah, how quick did it take?

How quick was it? I think once I did Rogan, once I did the Times piece, it was fairly, I think come January, no one gave a shit. And I think, I forget what Trump thing happened, but Trump did something fairly dumb. Nuts. And then that was the news. That was like, okay. What was your takeaway from it? What do you think is happening at universities?

What do you think that is? I mean, I think everyone wants to hear, you know, colleges are bad places to perform, but I disagree. I think I've done some afterwards that have been great I did some before that were great I think it was just like a fluke thing but I do think what you said earlier about the Croatia thing

everyone's just so quick there's no fucking time to process shit because we're always doing that you know? Yeah I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a fluke, it's definitely a rare but a lot of comics say the same thing even I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a fluke. It's definitely a rare, but a lot of comics say the same thing. Even Seinfeld went so far as to say, I don't do universities anymore.

So it's like we all know, because we performed and have done, we all know that there's something, there's a sensitivity there. Maybe, I'm hopeful, I'm confident it will correct itself. Because I think even from this, at Columbia, people were just like this is crazy we're not this yeah a bunch of kids hit me up like yo

we're not like this this is bananas so it's a squeaky wheel kind of gets the grease thing yeah yeah did anybody directly reach out to you like negatively and be like i hate you for this i heard this or i was at the show fuck you and very little no no no one i think one girl hit me up because she was roommates with uh one of the uh organizers of the event and i guess she pissed she was pissed because uh uh i guess she took what i said as a response to her on like them coming on stage as disrespectful to the the organizers uh but outside no one was like directly mad at anything i said that because that because the only reason i'm bringing up is because it feels like everybody i talk to seems like a normal individual in any situation and all these nut jobs that you're like oh they want this or they're fucking squeaky wheel gets the

grease yeah it's like it's like do these people exist or is this all just fucking. Just a bunch of bots. All that shit happened to you, but it's like, show me the people that were actually mad. It's so few. Two or three or four. But yet it causes a whole uproar. Squeaky Italian gets the grease. When you're on the train, who are you going to remember?

The 15 people sitting there silently or the person in the corner wearing a fucking, you know, sombrero jerking off into the corner. Smoking a cigarette. Yeah, that's the one you're going to tell stories about. That's the one who's getting the attention.

So, it's a real attention me era now where everyone's like, no matter what I do, the first thing I want is attention. Yeah. So, when someone writes an article,

it's like, the first thing I want is to come with a perspective. That's why everything starts with, I was... Yeah, I was there, and this happened, and this is why it happened,

and this is who's to blame, and let's point the finger at this group, and yeah, here it is. You heard it first from me, and here's my face, and now I'm going to start a fucking blog

and an internet TV show where I'm talking on it. And it's about me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Yeah. That's what it was. And the most annoying part was when one girl wrote some blog and she said, he only has 88 Twitter followers. It's like, what the fuck? That's your take?

That's your insult at the end of everything? Yeah. Only got 80. 88 Twitter followers. Yo, me and Nate, real quick, me and Nate did a tour in 2008 right before Obama. And we did it in New Hampshire. We did a college tour in New Hampshire. Which is a Republican state.

No. New Hampshire? No, I'm sorry, Maine. I apologize. Oh, Maine is, yeah. Yeah, these schools, it was like Smith, Colby. They were like way, way, way, way left, left, way. Yeah, right?

Yeah, like way left. So at one point during the show, show was fine, like to your point. I remember it being fine. Me and Nate would do our sets, and then we'd do like this little mock debate because it was the election time, and it was fine. Yeah. It was fine. But at some point during the show, I had some joke and I was, you know, I was close to a shitty comedian then.

I was pretty shitty. So it was probably not a great joke. But I said like, right Marisol? Like, because it was clearly like a Latin girl there. So I just said right Marisol, like a Latin name.

I didn't know at the time. Supposedly she ran outside, right? Fucking went crazy. Caused it. We went to the next school the administrators and like fucking the dean of the school showed up at the at the venue at the beginning was like what happened at colby we heard something happened like we just want to make sure and we didn't even know we're like i don't know shows seem fine what happened like we heard there was an incident there but anyway the next day colby i think it happened to colby they had a

sit-in protest where the students came and put black tape over their mouth because of you because of me and wrote wrote on their shirts listen and they all sat down because something had happened previously where some kid was wearing a sombrero or something and he was white and they were like it's insensitive and then i said marisol and she went and she said see and it was just like this thing that I bet if you asked them what was happening, none of them would know exactly specifically what it was. They're like, we're just here protesting for justice. But that's okay. Protesting and going out to 4 o'clock in the morning, that's something you do in your 20s. If you're in your 30s and 40s and you're still protesting, you're a fucking loser.

You've got a mental illness. You've got a mental illness. Just stop. If you're a young kid, that's what you're supposed to do because you don't know what's fucking loser. You got a mental illness. You got a mental illness. Like, just stop. If you're a young kid, that's what you're supposed to do because you don't know what's going on. But let's be honest. So it's like it's okay in a college. Marisol, it's okay.

But like now Marisol. Is it though? Because kids used to protest the Vietnam War. They used to protest policy. They used to protest like tax. I'm not saying it's okay. Now they're protesting me saying fucking Marisol. But it's at an age now.

But listen, that was fucking 12 years ago, 15 years ago. Now Marisol's got two kids and two different fathers. Where's the wish? Now even he knows. Zach, even fucking he's been here for 40 minutes and he gets. You're not earning your money. We're just going to fucking. We're going to give you half pay on Venmo this month.

You got to get one of them Staples buttons. Yeah. Yo, we got to go, boys. Yeah, that was a great episode. That was a fucking great episode. I had fun, man. Thank you guys for having me. We'd love to got to go, boys. Yeah, that was a great episode, though. That was a fucking great episode. We knew it was going to be a great episode. We'd love to have you again, man.

Please, yo. Let's do- Dates, dates, anything. Oh, yeah. I want to come to your wedding. Okay. Yeah. You're there.

I want to be the white sacrifice. The second week of August is India's Independence Day, August 15th. I want to come back. Maybe we'll spring Gibran and Akash Singh and we'll just talk some shit. What's the actual day? August 15th. August 15th. That's the day I get my colonoscopy.

Why are you leaving out Hari Kondabolu? Hari Kondabolu. As well. A problem with Apurna. We want them all. Apurna, who's got... Apurna did some light reading over the weekend. Let's just see.

Apurna, this I just had to see. The problem with white fragility, I think. Yeah, the problem with white fragility. So, you know, that was a book we posted. I love to get a part on and talk about the white, just a little white reading. She won't even do my stupid question show because she's so too aggressive. Yeah, just found it extremely helpful in educating why, you know, why people are the worst, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, all that shit. But, you know, it's, yeah, we're bad people. I'll ask her to come and hopefully she'll listen but that would be great if you come back on that that would be awesome where can the people find you at

Finding Nemesh just find me there all my dates are there I don't really have a lot of dates but yeah come next time I'm up I don't even know

I'll be at the cellar this weekend oh I started a weekly show called No Phone Thursdays I asked you to come you gotta come do it yeah I'd love to

it's in downtown Brooklyn at DeKalb Market. Nice. Yeah, come by Thursday nights, 8 o'clock. And we have people policing, make sure there's no phones. Good.

Beautiful. You have to. It's such a refreshing thing to not have your fucking phone in front of you. Oh my God. I mean, look at this. We're addicted.

Yeah, I'm guilty too. We're all addicted. We're all addicted. I'm fucking addicted. It's been fun to have you in. Thank you, brother. I appreciate you, brother. Go follow the mesh.

Go check out his comedy. Peace out. Thank you.