History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 159 - Apollo 13 was WILD!

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas are back in Bay Ridge Brooklyn talking about SPACE! Boys discuss where the famous quote “Houston we have a problem” and no we’re not talking about Chrissy’s trip to Houston, Texas. The Cuzzies discuss the Space Race between the U.S and Russia, the many missions to the moon and was Yoko Ono to blame for the bad luck the Apollo 13 astronauts faced?It’s been a hot summer so get some watah, cool down and enjoy this ep!!!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay. You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. Hey, everybody. Unfortunately, I'm just going to be honest with you. You just missed what is going to be available for our upper tier members in the Patreon. Jesus had a different idea where that episode was going. And by Jesus, I mean Chrissy. And he took it to a place that you're going to have to pay for it here. So now let's do an episode about Apollo 13.

Let's do an episode about Apollo 13. And we're calling the segment that we just did for the 25s and ups called Grease Lightning because we can't call them kamikazes anymore, which used to cause them because of course that's inappropriate. Even though Japan wanted to wake up the sleeping giant and we have to just play pretend and forget that the Asians aren't assaulting us.

But what can you do? So, you know, it's just what it is. I'll play the part. I'm a fucking ally. Whatever I'm supposed to fucking say, okay? It's just, I don't fucking know. I can't play pretend for too much longer. So the country's going to have to open back up

or you're going to have to make a vaccine because it's really getting hard playing pretend with my fucking daughter. So you can catch Christy in Long Island. Oh, yeah, August 6th to the 8th. Yeah. August 6th to the 8th, New Jersey Stress Factory. Go to christycomedy.com or historyineas.com.

August 6th to the 8th, outdoor shows. Nobody's going to get the Rona. Outdoor shows with Vinnie Brand Stress Factory. So the only thing you have to deal with is Vinnie Brand, the owner, doing some time before. But it's just what you have to do. The guy owns a business, but he's a horrific comic that we all just have to deal with. So keep that in. Wei Zhongzhen.

So I'll be there. Keep it in. Just keep it the fuck in yeah and obviously I was kidding I fucking love I love all the I love all the

groups we love it I love everybody when the owner does 45 minutes up top it's the best it's the only way to headline

that's what you want to do you want to have the owner of the club do 45 minutes of jokes that only work in a three block radius in New Brunswick and do crowd work

and you know pick up a pay phone that doesn't work and then just follow that bullshit until three o'clock in the morning but who cares i mean his name's vinny spells it you know he doesn't spell vinny with a y you can't trust guys that end their names in an ie like that so what can you do it's not you can't do nothing you do is i don't care it's like you own the club it's just i got time i gotta do the fucking i i got no money coming in i'm gonna do

the outdoor shows for the fans i love it but i want to deal with him doing 55 minutes of bullshit and then i'll come up and try to clean up the mess but it's you know i'll probably bomb but the truth is it doesn't matter then i'll go and fucking get yelled at by the situation but whatever we'll just do it i'm happy with my life things are going good things yeah we got to just keep all this in it's too much gold i apologize i know that we'll never work at the stress factor again who cares good that's a sign of a good career. Yeah, the thing is that's a sign of a good career that I think we're clear of now because of you guys. Yeah, so thank you.

You're doing good. I don't know if I'm ever going to go back to the Stress Factory, but I love it. No, I'm happy to be going back and getting paid way less than I deserve, but what can you do? What can you do right now? It doesn't matter. Apollo 13. I just fell asleep for 20 minutes, and i feel worse than i did before is that what

happens when you get older you take a nap yeah i can't breathe out of my nose it's too hot in here i need more water something it's just yeah we're gonna get some water and we'll put in the ala mugs um yeah v we'll hand these off because yeah god forbid we don't want to show anybody you're yeah we don't want to show anybody v but listen apollo 13 okay it's a wild movie i'm sure you guys have saw in the movie apollo 13 with tom hanks who is a known pedophile and did get coronavirus so according to the internet so i mean by the way apollo let me just fucking tell you fuck or something right now apollo 13 we're going to do the episode about that and it's very interesting because we have

started a new show on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys called Conspiracy Cuties. And we will be doing a conspiracy episode that ties into Apollo 13 and ties into how the Nazis tied into Apollo 13 and space travel. So you're going to want to see that. We're going to put that up soon. But getting back to the movie, Tom Hanks, Gary Sinise, Bill Paxton. Now, who's dead? Gary Sinise or Bill Paxton? Which is the one who died?

Neither one of them are dead. I think one of them's dead. Everyone's still alive. I don't know where you got that. Absolutely, Cut. Never forget if there's one thing you got to love, it's Allah. Never forget that. He's the guy that keeps you protected from all you got to do.

That's the thing. If you ever find yourself in trouble with the woke dope mob, with any big time lefties, just say you love Muslim people and they leave you alone. That's just what it is. That's the truth right there. So we got that. They can say whatever they want, but we got the I love Allah mugs. leave you alone. That's just what it is. That's the truth right there. So we got that. They can say whatever they want, but we got the I love Allah mugs. Yeah. Today's episode's about Apollo.

And I love IHOP Omar. Shout out to you. You're doing a great job. You're doing a great fucking job, IHOP Omar. Today's episode's about Apollo 13. You can listen to this episode or you could just go fucking watch the movie with Tom Hanks. Yeah, it's what it is. It tells you everything you want to know about the fucking thing.

No, but it does. There's a couple white guys went into space and they had some problems and they landed. Absolutely. And if they would have had one person of color out there,

it would have worked out better. So it's really the problem that it's white. So that's what it is. The three white astronauts going out into space was the reason why it failed. Wei Zhongzhen.

Can we get some Wei Shouqians or what should we do? Do we have to Wei Shouqians Or what should we do Do we have to start over I don't know what we do I don't know what we do Have we gone off We're still barely on track Because we're just kidding

We're just joking We're just I mean I'm fucking kidding around Obviously I mean you know It's like if people don't think I'm an ally to your community I mean I love every fucking group of people

I mean I'm out there On the streets sucking dicks To prove I'm an ally You know what I mean I'm out there with the I love Allah mugs To prove I'm an ally I mean I'm having children Outside my race To prove I'm an ally I mean what do you mean? I'm out there with the I love Allah mugs to prove I'm an ally.

I mean, I'm having children outside my race to prove I'm an ally. I mean, what do you want me to do? It's like, so what? I fucking push a couple Chinese people into some garbage. What do you want me to do? Yeah, it can't be good all the time. Yeah, it can't be good all the time.

Even Superman's got to take a fucking nap once in a while, and that's when a couple Chinese get pushed into garbage. Wei Zhongzhan. I'm kidding. No, I love the Chinese people. It's just fucking crazy. Wei Zhongzhan. I'm just kidding around.

I love Chinese people. That's the thing with being from New York, even though I know somebody on our Patreon hates when we say this. The truth is, being from New York, it's very, very hard to be actually racist. You can make racist jokes, but to truly hate someone because they don't look like me, it's like it's impossible in New York City. Yeah, and I'm just kind of tired. I'm just kind of sick of fucking, I'm just kind of sick of talking and thinking about it.

It's like like you know most people are just fine most people just normal people and we're just living our lives it's like what do you want me to tell you chicken cheese steak wrap and i got the itis so how can i be a racist with the itis and it's what it is and it's just like one of those things where i might do i make a good point yeah it's like somebody somebody it's like people just want to people just want to talk shit on my instagram the other day I posted a picture of me with a filter what I would look like as a woman and some people were saying they'd crack me Open I appreciate that but some college 22 year old girl was like really great job making fun of trans people with this picture

Like I'm not making fun of trans people. Okay, I'm saying this is what I'd look like if I was trans and guess what? The trans community accepted it It's only people who are actually afraid of these others are the ones who will comment on the pictures saying that I'm the one making a mistake because you're actually the one who's racist and transphobic and all those problems. I'm not, so that's why I just tuck it back, and then I post pictures of myself wearing gay as fuck T-shirts holding I Love A La mugs because guess what? I love everybody. I'm not scared of anybody because I just think I don't care what you look like on the outside. I judge a book by what's on the inside. You heard you don't judge a book by its cover and that has stuck with me since

my sixth grade teacher sister on Mary told me do not judge a book by its cover so guess what I don't I see human beings and I say we're all red on the inside we're all we're all bleeding you got bleeding red hearts I have a bleeding red white and blue heart but even if you don't have a bleeding red white and blue heart I still love and respect you Yeah, and if you come to Bay Ridge and you see people walking around with masks, there's about a 77% chance that mask has an American flag on it. It's what it is. In Bay Ridge, you're going to see American flag masks, and you're going to see New York Yankees masks.

That's just what it is, okay? And then Williamsburg, you'll see masks with fists on them, although just be one color to support that, and that's fine too. But just know in Bay Ridge, you're just going to see some different kinds of masks. That's what it is. Apollo 13 happened in 1970, guys. Wow. Here's the thing what I want to tell you about.

Here's what I want to talk to you about, okay? The last- I think you just talked to me about all the things you wanted to talk to me about. It's what it is, Cousin. It sounds like you've been holding a lot in. You're cooped up, Chrissy, and you just let it- You just went all the way fully charged. I'm fully charged. I'm fully charged.

I'm an FCF, a fully charged. So it's what it is. Okay. So, and, and, but the interesting thing about the Apollo 13 mission and all Apollo missions is the first time we go to the moon is 1969. The last time we go is 1971. If you would have told my 16 year old mother at the time in 1971, that, Hey babe, in 2020, you're not going to have one to the moon again in that span.

She would have been like, you're crazy. She would think that there'd already be a fucking Carvel on the moon by 2020, and we haven't went back. As a matter of fact, we're probably going to go to Mars within the next five years and bypass the moon. I guess the public felt after the reason why Apollo 13 is so important is because it almost killed everybody. The reason why Apollo 13 is so important is because it almost killed everybody.

It spooked Richard Nixon to fund NASA, and it spooked the rest of the world to be like, why do we want to go there in the first place? So if Apollo 13 never happened, thank God the astronauts came back alive, we probably would be colonized the moon by now. Maybe we would have, but I don't know if you could really colonize the moon and live on the moon because it's a moon. We could do whatever we want. We could do whatever we want we could do whatever we want because we're American

you know who used to call me Chrissy the astronaut didn't people used to make memes and call me an astronaut do you remember why yeah I can't remember why do you remember because you were out there

or reality is a suggestion kind of thing or we don't remember I don't fucking remember I remember you floating around I think I said something about how you're floating around or something

and they threw you in an astronaut uniform I mean you've had 177 nicknames it's what it is I don't think you even remember which one you are. I mean, sometimes they all come out. I mean, it's what it is because it's what it is.

It's fucking what it is because. What did we say before? You're a kid who likes to stick and move. I like to stick and move. I don't like to be in a place too long. I like to come in and come out. So you had a great suggestion because I want to buy a house in the country, but you said to get used to the country,

I should at least Airbnb a spot for a month. Yeah, because I think you in the country, I don't know if it's going to work. Yeah. Because you're a kid who needs to be close to a bag of bagels. Yeah, I'm a kid. And the two things that I need the most is I need- Tortellinis. I need tortellinis. I need four bedrooms for my family and one bathtub for the out member of my family. and I need shed space, because I need shed space, because there's a member of my family that likes to do things in the shed, so I need extra shed space.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. The poor kid just got the mixer, so he wouldn't have to edit, and now we're making him edit. It's really fucking funny. I mean, for the first time, we got the kid the fucking mixer, so he's sitting there,

he's fucking editing while we're going, and we go, no, babe, guess what? We kid the fucking mixer. So he's sitting there. He's fucking editing it while we're going. And we go, no, babe, guess what? We're going to make you go back and edit shit out. Yeah. Welcome to the history hyenas, babe. Here's the thing is you got two options. If you work for us, you can either do the work and do what we tell you, or you could fucking call us privately and complain,

and then you get fired by Mrs. DiStefano. Because she's the head of HR. She's the head of HR. And by Mrs. DiStefano, you mean you'll do it, but you'll do it, you got coached by your mom. I got coached by my mom. You got coached by your mom on how to fire somebody. Guys, make no mistake, my mother's been an HR manager for 35 years.

She's the sweetest woman, sweetest Reese's Pieces. But when she taught me how to fire someone, when we had to fire an employee of the show, she did it swift and hard, and it hurt my feelings. I felt like she fired me as her son, which she's wanted to do a few times with some of the decisions I've made. That is what you call for sure. Guys, it's just what it is.

I need to cool off. Yeah, we need to cool off. I need to fucking just cool off. So let's just cool off while we can, guys, because I'm coming in too hot. So we needed to cool myself off, and I may have just ruined the $400 West Elm shirt. $400? The thing's fucking $1,000. That's $1,000.

It probably couldn't get wet, but cuz, if it could survive one of my fucking Chrissy Well farts, it could survive a little H2O. Yeah, I mean, we are fucking, cuz, we're out to space this episode, and it is a nice thing. Yeah, we're out in space, and it feels good to be out here, because I just, listen, to be in the vacuum of space. Because would you go to space?

The truth of the situation is I would not go to space, because I'm scared of heights. Now, if they said you had to go to space, and you had to go with the weather girl or the situation, whichever one it is. No, the weather girl. We don't approve of the situation. You said the situation.

I didn't mean to say that. So we'll edit that out. We'll put Puerto Rican flags over my mouth for the situation. Yeah, we'll do all that. Yeah, because I can't have her hearing that. You cannot hear her. Is she listening? Who the fuck of your family is doing reconnaissance against us?

I don't know. I'm not worried about the Russians. I'm worried about what family member of yours is going to sue us. Yeah, I don't know if she's listening, but I could go to the local Banco Popular and see if there's some $10 charges. Then I'd know. But you bring up an interesting point.

Yeah, after they only went, what was it? There was an Apollo 11 was the first one. Right. Then there was the 12, and then there was the 13. Yeah, because there was three missions that went to the moon. We started throwing people into space around 1957. Fucking catapulted them up there. We catapulted up there.

They fucking made it onto the list. We threw them up into space. The first man ever in orbit was a fucking Russian dirty cosmonaut, and he went up. His name was Yuri Gagarin, and that was April 12, 1961. So from 1961 to 1971 is when we did some heavy lifting with space because we were trying to beat the Russians, but they kind of beat us. Yeah, well, this was the beginning of the Cold War,

right after World War II when we defeated Germany. The United States and Russia knew, hey, we're going to be competing. We're going to be hating each other. So they both started competing for Nazi scientists. Right. They didn't give a shit about what the politics were. They just needed some minds to help people catapult people into space. Well, here's...

Because we know we needed the rocket technology to fight each other. Yes. And the rockets were being used to put people on the moon. So it was really just a race to the moon, which they did nothing and nobody really benefited because if you go to the moon and you just stand up there, nothing happens. Nobody cares. I mean, if you're just orbiting, even getting to Mars, it's like, what's the point? There's no, you have to make life there.

Life doesn't exist for us there. But that's interesting that we're going to talk about on Conspiracy Cuties after the show is the V2 rocket, which was designed by the Nazis, was the first object that humans ever broke through the atmosphere and put into space. And the man who pressed that button, who pressed the actual button to press launch for the V2 rocket to go into space, was a little guy by the name of Adolf Hitler, who's Deshaun Jackson's favorite person from history. Which it is. Can we just, let's just put the AC on and can we just deal with it? It's way too fucking hot. Is it too hot?

Well, I cooled off. I mean, because you could just put a little a la water on you and get baptized in the faith. Because you got to, did Gary Sinise or Bill Paxton die? One of them died from Apollo 13 in real life. We got to find out who it is. None of them is dead. You know what's funny? Is that when these guys were in their capsule trying to make it home, it was so cold.

It was like living in a refrigerator for days. Right. It's just a little hot in here and I can't handle it. That's how much of a bitch we've become. Because make no mistake, I would love, love, love love love love love to have been on apollo 13 when it got real cold in there because i'm a kid i love the cold and i hate the heat i die a little bit in the heat but you couldn't do it was it was so cold it was like living in a refrigerator the problem is for me in space is i couldn't go if if i would go into space if and only if throughout one of the mirrors

i could always see Earth in the distance, and it was always pointed right at New York City, and if I had some black and white cookies up there, I could do it. That's the only way you could do it. Yeah. So there was a couple white guys that went up there. They had different names. What were their names? Okay, so Jim Lovell, who was played by Tom Hanks, he was 42 years old at the time of Space Fight.

I believe he is still alive today. Then we had Fred Hayes, who was the lunar module pilot, and he was 35 years old. The exact age is Chrissy Chaos. So this kid was 35 years old going to space, and I'm 35 years old doing a podcast from the fourth floor of an apartment in Bay Ridge. There's a little bit of a difference.

What are we going to do for our birthdays this year? You want to go to fucking space? The last four years for my birthday, I've done one, one of two things. Either went to the Renaissance fair or medieval times. So now, unfortunately, cause I can't do either one of those things. What I'd like to do for my birthday party with you is I'd like to come up to your house cause you've got a lot more property and then we'll get some, I'll bring some pizza

and shit from, from, from, from New York and maybe we'll just go back in time on YouTube. Maybe we'll go, we'll go back to like ancient Egypt or ancient Greece on a YouTube tour and they'll make it all like CGI shit and we'll do that. That's a good idea. Yeah. That's a real good idea. The thing that was so tragic about this mission was these kids really wanted to put their feet on the moon and they never got a chance to actually put their feet on the moon.

They had to circle around it and they used the orbit of the moon to propel them back because these guys almost died but they did it because they were American. They were American kids. And the third person on the Apollo mission was Jack Swigert. And the interesting thing about Jack Swigert, who was played by, I think he was played by Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon was the guy who played Jack Swigert. And what's very interesting about him is the guy who was supposed to be there, Ken Mattingly, no relation to Donnie Baseball, he was supposed to do it, but he got the German measles.

And because he got a case of the measles, he couldn't go into space, so at the last moment, Jack Swigert had to go, and he's the one that fucked up and pressed the button that caused an issue. But Ken Mattingly, if you ask me, I think Ken Mattingly purposely got the measles because the kid was scared of heights and didn't want to go up into space. If you got the last name Mattingly, it just sounds like you're in good hands. Whether that person be at first base, behind the wheel of an airplane or an astronaut. Ken Mattingly sounds like a guy who's well skilled in what his job is.

Yeah, so Ken Mattingly gets the measles and can't go. And he was pissed off at first that he couldn't go because the kid wanted to go to the moon. the measles and can't go. And he was pissed off at first that he couldn't go because, I mean, the kid wanted to go to the moon. But after he saw the drama unfolding, he was like, I'm happy to have two feet on Mother Earth and just be drinking a brew, trying to make believe I'm trying to figure out how to get these fuckers home. I'm just happy I'm not in that goddamn capsule with Tom Hanks.

I mean, talk about the blessing of German measles and the timing of that. Yeah. How did Tom Hanks get fucking, how did Tom Hanks get involved in Pizzagate from space? He didn't. That's what people say. Tom Hanks is a pedophile. The internet's wild. The internet is a wild thing.

We're on the internet. We're wild. That's why. Because we're wild. We're fucking untethered. So who do we have? We have Fred Hayes, Jack Swigert,

who replaced Ken Mattingly. Jack Swigert. And who was the other FF? Jack, John Lovell. John Lovell. So he had three. Jim Lovell. Three fucking. John and Jim's the same name,. So he had three. Jim Lovell. Three fucking.

John and Jim's the same name, just like Karen and Barbara. Nobody cares you're a fucking dumb white piece of shit with a stupid haircut. Yeah. Nobody cares about you. Make no mistake. We're never going to send another white guy to space. Yeah. Because it's racist.

The only thing that you can say about these three is that they were fully charged white guys. These guys were really white guys. These guys were really white guys. Fully charged fucking white guys. And it's just one of those things where we're living in a time now where, you know, we're going to bypass the moon. People gave up on the moon. Apollo 13 kind of caused people to want to give up on the moon. We haven't been back to the moon since 1971. There's no plans to.

Instead, Elon Musk is going to take us to Mars. Instead, which I don't see a point in that either because it's like you can't live on Mars' surface either. You have to make all this artificial stuff. Just fucking go to Arizona, and if you want it to be hot, just go there. That's what it is, guy. Just what it is.

It's like Elon Musk. There's plenty of room in Arizona. We don't need to go to Mars yet. Yeah, just fucking go. Elon Musk, just forget about space. Just go on Joe Rogan. Build more Teslas. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. yet. Yeah, just fucking go. Elon Musk, just forget about space. Just go on Joe Rogan. Build more Teslas. Nobody cares.

Nobody cares. Yeah. Now, here's the thing. Apollo 13, when it was launching, everyone was excited about Apollo 11. One small step for man. One big giant leap for mankind. A lot of people don't even think it happened. A lot of people think they faked it because the Russians got there first.

So they just wanted to show a couple months later, hey, we did it too, because they were scared of the Russians. But people cared, at least, about Apollo 11th. Nobody cared about Apollo 13. Nobody was watching it. The newscasters weren't broadcasting it. They were doing other stuff. Nobody even knew it went off, really. Nobody cared.

Nobody even cared. The news was covering the Beatles breaking up. They were covering whatever. That's what happened. That's a big thing. So the day before they launched, the Beatles had broken up, and that was the big front page news. If the Beatles wouldn't have broken up,

maybe Apollo 13 would have gotten more news. Yeah. I mean, Yoko Ono caused a ripple effect throughout history that can't be quantified, really. Yeah. Because she broke up. She broke up the – I was about to call it the Beatles. Yeah.

But a different type of situation. But a different type of situation. We got to cut all that out. No, we could just put, just any time we say, just put the Puerto Rican flag over it. Cackles, yeah, cackles. But make sure they can't read the lips because she does have lip reading software technology. She's done it to me from afar. Yeah.

So it's what it is. So nobody was covering this thing at all. At all. 55 hours into the mission, so they get off into space. By the way, there was a little kind of ominous shit going on. It's almost like NASA wanted this to fuck up

because they launched the mission on, I believe it was April 13th, right, V? But the time was 1313. So 1-13, 13 in military time. At 1313, Apollo 13 launched. Oh, it was April 11th, sorry. Launched. So it was all these 13s, which 13 is an unlucky number for some fucking reason.

I don't know why 13 is an unlucky number, but it is. Yeah, just if you want to know if mankind is rational or reasonable, there are no 13 floors in any apartment buildings. It goes from the 12th to the 14th, which is wild. All buildings. Your building has a 13th floor? Nobody does.

No. Nobody. There's no 13th row on planes. There's no 13th floor in apartment buildings. And so NASA was going like, hey, look, man, Apollo 13. Well, there shouldn't be 13

because fuck the 13th Amendment, right? Yeah. No, wait, what's the 13th Amendment? Is the 13th Amendment the one that freed the be 13 because fuck the 13th Amendment, right? Yeah. No, wait, what's the 13th Amendment? Is the 13th Amendment the one that freed the slaves? What's the 13th Amendment? That's positive. Way, John. What's the 13th Amendment?

It's a good one. The 13th Amendment is good. Oh, neither slavery nor... Oh, 13th Amendment. That's what I meant to say. We should have 13. We should have 13 on elevators because celebrate the 13th Amendment to the United States

which got rid of slavery. So I think we should bring 13 backs on elevators because celebrate the 13th amendment to the United States which got rid of slavery so I think we should bring 13 backs on elevators because fuck your superstition about black cats let's support black people by putting the number 13 on elevators the number 13 everywhere to celebrate the 13th amendment to the United States even though it's still going on today yeah this is an easy way to remember the 13th

amendment just remember yeah just remember I've been fully charged today, cuz. It doesn't matter. Yeah, just remember what? Just remember, 13 bad, that's why there's no floors or no rows in airplanes, and 13th good, the 13th

Amendment abolished slavery. So the yin and the yang. So everyone was superstitious, but NASA thought it was funny and said, hey, we're scientists. We don't believe in that shit. They were trolling the idea of it being unlucky by launching a 1313. They did it on purpose.

And Apollo 13, when they realized that they had a major issue, the famous Houston, we have a problem, which was actually Houston, we've had a problem, but the movie made it famous and everyone ran with Houston, we have a problem, that was where it ran famous. And I did a similar thing. When I was in Houston, I texted you, Giannis, I said, Giannis, Houston, I just blew a guy. Blew a guy in Houston, that's right.

That is a callback from a long time ago. If you just started listening to podcasts. I blew a guy in Houston, it's what it is. I blacked out a long time ago. If you just started listening to podcasts. I blew a guy in Houston. It's what it is. I blacked out a little bit and sometimes you're just going to catch one off the uvula when you're down south. Yeah, just get over it. Go back and start listening to the early ones. Read the shirt. Yeah, there it is. So, yeah.

So the exact, Fred Hayes, who was 35 years old, played by Gary Sinise, said okay, Houston. Which is, he's alive. They're all alive, by the way. Okay, nobody,

none of them are dead. Nobody's dead. Who's dead? Bill Paxton? We still haven't seen Venetia's teeth in a week, in a month,

because she's got the mask on, because she is wanted by the FBI. Go ahead. Swinger died at 51 years old. No, I'm talking about

the actors playing them. I think Bill Paxton is dead. Google Bill Paxton and Gary Sinise. See if they're alive or dead. Those guys are all fucking alive. I'm telling about the actors playing them. I think Bill Paxton is dead. Google Bill Paxton and Gary Sinise. See if they're alive or dead. Those guys are all fucking alive. I'm telling you they're not. Okay, but here we go. So at first they thought they got hit by a meteor, but that's not what happened.

They didn't get hit by a meteor, but make no mistake, in 2020, that would be nice right now. Just take a meteor to the face. It would be nice if there was a meteor that came and on the side, God had engraved it, no lives matter. Bill Paxton dead february 25th 2017 kid had a fucking heart attack unfortunately bill paxton is fucking dead paxton died yeah and it's sad because he's great freaking actor the kid bill paxton 61 years old the kid fucking died what can you do he's great in true lies hilarious part in true lies which by the way we we we do owe the patreon members the true Lies video that is coming shortly.

So, yeah. So Apollo 13, what happened was, what pretty much, there's a lot of technical mumbo jumbo that not even we understand, but we are the Wikipedia sluts, and we did figure it out. What happened was, is somebody, when they were testing the ship two weeks earlier from the launch, they had accidentally fried one of the cables that controls the oxygen, not the oxygen that the astronauts were breathing, the oxygen that somehow in space they use chemical reactions and they make oxygen and nitrogen to make water and to fuel the ship and to power the ship in space. When one of the astronauts hit the button to power that down, it caused a spark because one of the wires was fucked up and it caused fire, and it blew the heat panel right off the side of the ship into space and caused an issue, and then they went down to almost zero oxygen in the cabin,

and they had to do the entire mission in the lunar module, which was designed for two people to land on the moon. Instead, they had to use that to get home. So 55 hours into the space mission, they realized we are not going to the moon. Instead, they have to use that to get home. So 55 hours into the space mission, they realize we are not going to the moon. We now have to go home and whip around the moon and stay in the lunar module, which is designed for two people, but have three people in there,

and then try to get back home. Now, Cuz, if that was me, you, and a third person... Biggie Mike. Biggie Mike, what would be our options here? Would you guys, A, would we all just try to make it work in the three of us and try to not breathe as much as we can and just try to stay in the lunar module and make all three of us go home? Or would you, B, kill me and live off my butt for five days

when we ran out of food because it froze because we had to turn off the heat inside the lunar module to conserve energy? I think we would kill you and live off your butt. There's another option there. Is I pretty confident I could let you guys eat off my butt like a buffet and also stay alive so i could you got it there's enough there that you still have plenty of butt left if i just said listen guys just fry up my right butt cheek a little bit the one that has a skin tag on it yeah you could be okay do you got a skin i got a skin tag on my ass cheek

because your buns are milky white. I got milky fucking white buns, baby. I just got a body that falls apart as soon as from the neck down. So what can you do? Because these guys were up there with less technology than we have in an iPhone right now. Is that actually the truth? Yeah, that's... Yes, it is.

Their computers were not as strong as our iPhones right now. So the guy had to write down a whole bunch. One of the astronauts wrote down a whole bunch of calculations to transfer from one computer to another when they went into the other fucking module. And they used... These guys did not panic. They didn't panic.

They really made it happen. They just fucking made it. And they decided to use The gravitational pull of the orbit From the moon To set them back on course Right And also fucking command center When they needed to figure out

How to re-engineer something To produce more oxygen The engineers at the control center At the command center Figured it out Told them what to do And they built it on the fly in space while they were cold and they had fumare.

They had their actual thing they had to do. And because there was bags of piss flying around everywhere, they couldn't get rid of their piss. Did you know that? Yeah. Because if they put the piss out, it would change their orbit. So the piss bags were just floating around. Floating around, just floating bags of piss,

and they had to figure out literally how to get a circular tube inside a square hole. So to try to fit a square inside of a circle, which is what my life is. That's basically a really good analogy. Yeah, they basically had to just Chrissy-D it. You are a kid who just sits there at the square. I just bang it. You take the circle and you just keep banging.

Yeah. Thinking it's going to go in. But it boomerangs back, which is what they were scared of. They thought they were going to hit the surface of the atmosphere of the earth and bounce out, but Tom Hanks saved the day. Truth is, cuzzy, I'm a kid who's shaped like a circle, but I love a square slice. You do like a square.

I'm in the mood for a fucking slice. You want a zucchini slice? I want to order it right now. Let's order a zucchini pie with no bacon. I'm vegan again. Yeah, let's get a fucking, can we order a pie right now? Can we get a zucchini pie? no bacon. I'm vegan again. Yeah, let's get a fucking, can we order a pie right now from No-No's? Can we get a zucchini pie?

No, Benatini's saying no because we're too fat. Why not? You're not gonna eat it? We're too fat. No, Benatini said we're too fat. I'm fucking eating fries. Just eat with your own fries, you four-eyed fuck. No, I want pizza.

I want fucking pizza. Yanni, you can't- I also can't breathe. I'm having trouble breathing. I may have the Rona. You may have the Rona. What can you do? I mean, Yanni's in a race.

I mean, it's crazy, cuz. It's like, the truth is the situation. I want to, let's place bets right now. Who's going to gain more weight in the pregnancy, Yanni or his wife? I think I already have. I mean, this is not a flattering angle for me on this podcast. Cuz, but you know what? You got a fucking nice car.

I do have a really handsome piece. You got a handsome piece? I do. My piece is really, really handsome. Yeah, my piece has got some battle scars, but it's in good shape right now. All right, so here's the thing is, you know, if you want fucking issues, then the Apollo 13 mission is for you, okay? The Apollo 13 has got some issues. It's got some things to figure out.

It's known to most as the Chrissy D mission because it's got some things to figure out. It's got some things to figure out. It went with good intentions, and it just didn't work out the way that the astronauts planned. So let me tell you the issues here. So the first issue we explained to you is they're running out of oxygen. So they solved that problem by going into the lunar module, which has its own oxygen supply. The next issue, carbon dioxide. But the lunar module,

it bears emphasizing the lunar module was only designed to be lived in on the moon. On the moon and only designed for two people. We have three. Yeah.

So the next- And it's just telling me to sit up because I look too fucking fat. Yeah, the thing is, what we're going to do is play a little game- Do I look jacked in the arms still? We're going to crop out.

We're going to crop out. We're going to crop out. You've got sweat everywhere and water all over you. It's water on my tits. It's a wet t-shirt contest. Because the history hyenas, we're fucking hyenas. We're back. Here's what we're going to do is we're going to crop out a picture of Yanni laying like that. We're going to crop out a picture of his stomach.

And then we're going to ask Mrs. Poppins to post a picture of her stomach. And we're going to have to guess who's who. It's what it is. Who's pranky? You're a hairy guy, and I like that, Bubbas. And there's three things, the three things only I like to put in my mouth, and that's fingers, toes, and balls.

And I like to just get those things. I don't like when there's a lot of hair on them. So what Manscaped has done now is they've created the Shears 2.0 Nail Kit. It shaves your balls, your fingers, and your toes. Yeah, I mean, I'm a kid who used to be hairy because I use this. Listen, it's quarantine

time. You can't get out to the salon, so this is an especially good time to get yourself a kit at home to groom yourself down. Nails, hair, body, fumare. Fumare. Listen, if you're a guy out there or a woman who's from Greece, you need the Shears Nail 2.0 kit because you're hairy, hairy people. Yeah, you get it. It's got the Shears 2.0 is a luxury four-piece nail kit featuring tempered stainless steel tools. And it includes slash tip tweezers, rounded pointed scissors, fingernail clippers, and a medium grit nail file. Because you get to really groom yourself down. Be a man. Do it yourself like men do.

Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and fucking trim those nails. Because I got wild ball hairs that come up off my testicles so I can use things in the 2.0 kit. My toes, especially my hammer toes, even though they grow over each other, they do have bits of hair. And there have been times where I don't want to put sandals on because my hammer toe is a little hairy, and now I can use the Shears 2.0 nail kit and shave my toes. Yeah, thank God now there's a kit that's designed for men to groom. Women, they have so many things that they can groom themselves with. The thing about manscapes, they understand men are simple, they want it all in one, and they want you to tell you exactly how to use this stuff so boom there it is fix your nails

fix your balls fix your life fumes the good news for you is you're going to be able to shave your finger when you do find your wetter ring it's going to be a smooth ride onto it because right now it's a little hairy and all you got to do all you got to do if you want to get the shears 2.0 nail kit is go to manscape.com and use the promo code hyenas h-y-e-n-a-s and you will get 20 off by using that code plus free shipping so it's a guarantee you need to do it for summer you got to have no fumade so so it's what it is um so the next issue they had after the issue we just mentioned was carbon dioxide was now building up in the spacecraft and they needed lithium hydroxide canisters to filter carbon dioxide.

You cannot breathe in so much carbon dioxide. You get poison. You get lightheaded. You pass out and black out. And that's, as Tim Dillon would say, not good. Not good. If you pass out in space. Not good.

That's how people actually kill themselves in their garage. Yeah. They turn on their car, and then the carbon monoxide kills them. That's good to know. Yeah. Is that carbon dioxide you said? That's carbon dioxide, but what happens is- Oh, I'm saying carbon monoxide, but it all turns into the same thing. What am I saying? You're a doctor. Let me know if I'm right or wrong. Yeah. Carbon dioxide,

yeah. It's the same problem. The same issues. Carbon dioxide levels will go up so high that it turns gaseous and turns into monoxide. So they had the carbon dioxide filters, but the problem was they had square pegs and not the round ones they needed to filter the carbon dioxide filters but the problem was they had square pegs and not the round ones they needed to filter the carbon dioxide out so that's where they came up with the

on the ground in NASA on the ground came up with the they just used duct tape and parts they had in the ship to basically make a square peg

fit into a circle hull yeah and they did that and then they relayed the message through space to the ship told them how to build and they did that and then they relayed the message through space to the ship, told them how to build it. They built it

and it was able to continue to save their lives. Just one of the many things that had to go right in order for these white boys to make it back to the States. Thank God they did. Yeah.

So it's what it is. Thank God they did. As soon as they finally landed in that module after 55 plus hours in space, knowing that they were going to die, as soon as they got out, they fucking got down on one knee and kneeled for that national anthem. Yeah. They did.

And they got back down. They just put on probably some Jimmy Buffett, had an apple pie, and just sang Sweet Caroline because they were just three white boys. It's what it is. They only made it back to space. They only made it back to space. They only made it back from space alive because of their white privilege. So what can you do? Yeah.

Yeah. So the white privilege helped them in this case. Absolutely. They didn't have to deal with a lot of things and they were able to figure it out. But we do recognize that their white privilege was a problem. The next issue after that, after they figured out the lunar module oxygen issue, then they figured out the carbon dioxide issue. Then they needed a new course of correction because the angle they were coming in at from

the moon, they were going to skip off Earth's atmosphere. So as I understand it, it was like a rock skipping off the water. If they didn't hit it at this exact right angle- It wouldn't penetrate. They would penetrate because you have to- It's like when you're trying to get into the trying to get into the vag and you slip and hit the belly button.

And you slip and hit the belly button and slip and hit the butt which I've done a few times because I got a little dick. The girl doesn't know the difference. Yeah.

So it's just and they would penetrate off and skip off into space which is also not good. So they had to get this at the exact right angle and as Yanni was saying at the time

they didn't have the technology and especially in that exact spacecraft they didn't have the technology and especially in that exact spacecraft, they didn't have the technology to be able to have the eyes on the ground helping them. They had to eyeball this shit themselves where they actually were looking out the window and trying to guesstimate the exact right angle looking at planet Earth on what to do.

Yeah, and that's a real dramatic part of the movie too where they're trying to figure out. That's the time they had to do that by hand to figure it out and they got it. They figured it out despite the fact that there was no diversity in the cockpit. Yeah, they still were able to...

Tom Hanks always finds himself in this situation. He does. I mean, some movies he's in outer space, he can't get back. There's some movies he's on an island by himself

and then some movies he's dying of AIDS. Yeah. But, you know, he's always got a situation. Tom Hanks is the guy. Tom Hanks is the new situation. Other movies, he's got Corona.

I mean, the kid is always in something. The kid's always in a situation. And his wife is Greek. Yeah. The kid's always in a situation, but he's Tom Hanks. He always finds a way out of it. And then what happened is they waited for the exact right moment. We were told that they had eight-second window to fire off and shut down their engines inside the lunar module.

They had this tight, tight window at the exact right moment, so they fired it down so that the gravitational pull would take them into the atmosphere and they would be able to land safely on Earth. And they did it, and they landed in the South Pacific Sea in what some people would call enemy territory. Yeah, and they had to do a lot of things that they practiced in simulations and never thought they would ever have to do, and they did it, and they did it well.

It's like Charles Sully. When Charles Sully was able to land a plane after the geese hit it, these guys are like the Charles Sullys. But they did it from space, which is wild. I mean, what these guys did, and the coordination, the communication between command center and them and how they were able to really guide them back in

and that they lived is just a testament to America, what America was great. We're not anymore. We're not anymore. And the truth is we didn't have the help of the Russians at this time because Russia and the United States, despite the Cold War, were putting their heads together to try to kind of get into space

and loaning each other's technology. But after... Sorry. JFK. After JFK was assassinated, the Russians backed away and weren't helping the United States at all. As a matter of fact,

now we don't have a space shuttle. The Americans do not have a space shuttle. The only way for American astronauts to get into space is to do it from Russia. Russia is the only vehicle to get to space right now. They do it I believe in Kazakhstan.

Yeah, we just, the public opinion on going up to the moon really turned after this going, hey guys, what are we paying all these tax dollars for to send these boys up there to risk this for what? So you can get a dirt sample? We get it. It's a fucking it. It's a fucking satellite. It's a rock.

And it gives us a little light during the nighttime to kiss people on the lips. Yeah. That's all we need to know about the moon. And even going to Mars. And it's made out of cheese. We get it. Yeah. It's even going to Mars.

It's like, well, fucking come on, dude. It's like, we're going to... It's a red planet. I don't even care. It's a red planet. There's aliens there. We get it. I don't care.

Yeah. I don't care. Just, yeah. You know? Just as long as the police aren't getting money. So it's... That's the most important part about the whole thing. Just, yeah, you know, just as long as the police aren't getting money. So it's just. That's the most important part about the whole thing.

As long as the cops get nada, then we're fucking good to go. So we could go to Mars. But so the men were freezing. They were sleep deprived and they were dehydrated. Everybody was covered in like these droplets of water from the condensation. They had no condensation. Also was a problem because if it got behind the control panel the ship wouldn't power up

again but it did because Jesus was behind the wheel Jesus was behind the wheel and make no mistake Mrs. DeStefano was saying a lot of

prayers for them and they made it also the other thing is they had no heat shield the heat shield had blown off so NASA knew

down on the ground in Houston they were really they had almost 100% certainty that they would burn in space, but they didn't want to tell them that because just in case there was a 1% chance that they wouldn't burn alive,

they wanted to take it and guess what? They didn't fucking burn alive. These guys stayed calm and when you hear interviews with them after the fact, which you can watch, that's what they said. They never thought about the option of death. They never can watch. That's what they said. They never thought about the option of death. They never considered it.

They never thought about their families to each other. They may have done it privately. But they really, really got hyper-focused. And that's why you send the best and the brightest up there. Because these boys were highly trained. Right. Highly brave. Right. And they rose to the occasion and handled the call.

They handled it. And that's like the professionals you want them to become like there's been times where i've called lukash my daughter's godfather who's an er doctor like you know one time you know uh one time uh the weather girl burned her feet with boiling hot water one time delilah swallowed a fucking rat poison pill she dropped a bowl of tortellini on her feet hot burning she was lifting them and then one fell and she one fell yeah she was doing a workout with boiling hot water and one tortellini on her feet, hot, burning. She was lifting them and then one fell? And she one fell. Yeah, she was doing a workout with boiling hot water. And one of them fell on her feet.

And he was so calm on the other end of the phone. He was like, it's okay. Here's what you're going to do. This, this, and this. And then I was like, do you have to go to the emergency room? He's like, she might, but it's okay. Where I was fucking freaked out. So like these guys, like, you know, doctors and pilots and astronauts,

they all know how to just remain calm. Because if you- The only thing we know how to do to remain calm is to tell jokes on stage. We're a couple of FFs. That's the thing. The only way we can stay calm is to say, hey, don't worry about it. I'll be able to go up on the stage and talk to these people and make them giggle. Yeah.

And that's it. That's kind of it. It's a silly little skill that nobody cares about. Yeah. That's kind of it. So these kids made it back that nobody cares about. Yeah, that's kind of it. So these kids made it back. They were rescued by the- Because three cute kids, no?

Yeah. With fucking strong jawlines. Strong fucking jawlines. I mean, those kids from the 70s had strong- Venetia, take a peek at those three hotties and tell me if they weren't

from Jamaica if you wouldn't marry them. Yeah, no, seriously. Those- Venetia, make no mistake, would have jumped off the USS Iwo Jima, which is the vehicle that picked them up from the South China Sea. And punched Mike in the face.

She would have punched Mike in the face, and she would have gotten them out of that capsule, and the first question would have been, are you Greek? 100%. Yeah. I mean, are those three cute kids right there? Yeah. I like that. Vicky, can we throw that up somewhere?

Like, look at these kids. They're right. Where can we put them? We'll put them in a post. Put it in a post. They're three strong, jawline-looking kids. And like anything else in life, everything's always attached to the Greek. The logo for the Apollo 13 mission insignia depicted the Greek god of the sun, Apollo,

with three horses pulling his chariot across the face of the moon and the earth seen in the distance. It was meant to symbolize the Apollo flights, bringing the light of knowledge to all people the mission motto ex luna scientia yeah so they finally made it back their wives were happy um who knows do you think the 13 jinx this at the 13 might have jinxed us when did the 13 being a jinx when did that start yeah i don't know which which person started that why did it start why are we all scared of 13 i don't know but you sit in the 13th row if they had it you would you don't care i don't care you're very much a science guy because i just go i do know that when these apollo it was 1971 so when these apollo 13 astronauts came back if their wife gave them any lip they would have gotten one to the face immediately. So that's just what, unfortunately, that's the America that women had to live in back

then, is the women would get disciplined if they gave any lip, and it's just not how we live anymore. So it's just the truth. It's not how we live anymore. And now that's why we have chaos. Yeah. That's why, because it's just, listen, one of the astronauts, I can't remember which one of the three, when asked what he said to his wife when he returned,

he actually did say, you can't live without me, which is hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah, it's just what it is. That's back when fucking men were men. Men, yeah. And he was right. You can't live without me because you can't lift boxes on your own. You weaker human. Jesus. Yeah.

Yeah. Fucking Jack Swigert. It was Jim Lovell? Yeah, it was Jim Lovell who told his wife, you can't live without me. And he probably said broad at the end of that. Broad. It was 1970s. He's like, you can't live without me, broad. I mean, Jack Lovell is still alive.

I don't know why we don't have him on the Zoom right now. Yeah, we should get him on the Zoom. After two months of a report, they found out what the problem was. And it was all indications are that an electrically initiated fire in oxygen tank number two in the service module was the cause of an accident, along with not having a person of color in the cockpit. That and or you can, we do know it was probably George Soros had something to do with it. Absolutely. It was either Antifa or George Soros or something. Hillary Clinton did kill one of the pilots right before they entered the lunar module. There no question it had something to do with so it's what can you do it's just

the truth of the situation is this is reality is a suggestion and uh apollo 13 if you really want to get the full story in the right context and just go watch the movie but can you yeah can you believe that imagine like these guys were mad man imagine, like, me and you on the road somewhere and we ran out of gas. Yeah. Or, like, we were going to get close to running out of gas. We probably wouldn't even make it to a gas station without calling Roto-Rooter or whoever comes to fix cars. Because the thing, the only reason why. Let alone getting back from around the moon to home.

Because the only reason why I truly couldn't go into space is because if you don't give me an option to call my mother and ask her what to do, I can't do anything. So I would have to ask my mom. You call your mom and you ask her what to do, and then she tells you, and you do the complete opposite. Yeah, it's just what it is. It's just what happened. Yeah, I just say, Ma, you're making really good sense,

but I live life in what's known as the fast lane, so give me a black and white, fully charge me, and get me out there to somebody's asshole. Yeah, because if your life was a highway, it would be the German Autobahn. I'd be the Autobahn. There is no speed limit.

You can only go too slow. You can't go too fast. You can't go too slow. Because you sold your apartment. You lived there for 13 minutes. I sold my apartment to a Chinese national. It's what it is.

They offered straight cash. Because the government is subsidizing citizens of China to buy real estate in New York and not occupy it. And I was against it. But then when they came in with 10 G's over the asking price in full cash money, I said, I'm going to take it. Absolutely. Wei Zhongzhen.

There you go. It's what it is. I mean, Binky Mike, the poor kid. I mean, we just got the mixer, and he figured he'd be able to have this episode ready right after we're finished, but to no avail. Chrissy came out firing it. Firing cuz, and Mike, instead of...

And I've never done a podcast 13 seconds after I woke up from a nap. Mikey, instead of putting the Chinese flag over the rant I just did, just make sure you block out my mouth so they can't read my lips, but just put an egg. Do that. Yeah, and then just do that. It's all you got to do. And then that's the same thing.

Yikes! That one you got to fucking. That one you have to just fucking. You might have to fade to black on that one Or fade to white Whatever it is I don't want to be negative Full edit on that as well We need a full edit

Sorry This is just once in a while Chrissy goes absolutely berserk Yeah You're gonna have to do some edits That one has to be edited I mean James Madden is texting me It's like Bubba's

I don't know We gotta stop giving him more things to edit. I mean, we've got to take, we've got to take, we've got to take. Let's end the episode. Let's get to our Patreon members. Thanks for listening. Okay. Yeah.

Don't forget. I'm going to be August 6th to the 8th at the New Brunswick Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Go get tickets. ChristyComedy.com. August 6th, I will have Mike Suarez opening for me. And August 7th and 8th, Vinny Brand, the owner of the club, will be doing some time.

So just, you know, we just have to deal with that. There's just certain things you've got to deal with where it's just, you know, what can you do? What can you do? All right, let's get to some Patreon names. As always, patreon.com. We encourage you to join up. Join the matriarchy.

Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Sorry, slash Bay Ridge Boys to watch WEPA in the morning, Conspiracy Cuties, No Nets, bonus episode, all types of content. We appreciate it. Go sign up. We encourage you to do a funny name, and we offer every week whoever has the funniest name wins the PPW. Let's see who it is this week. All right.

Let's do it. Here we go. Let me just open up the list real quick. These lists are nice and short now. Well, not yet. We're getting to them being nice and short. We're just catching up now. But we don't want to be short. We want people to join the matriarchy, but it is nice.

It is nice to be able to do less than 350. No, because we want people who really want to be here. The people who are coming on now really want to be here, and we appreciate that. First and foremost, we'll start off the list with Amanda Rodriguez. Welcome to the matriarchy. Jordy White, sauce on my monkey while I move it

to that squeak Tom Hardy it's a character actor on my piece de Blasio on the list on the list yeah Venetia highlighted

that one as I was reading it she knew it was on the list yes Jake Harrison then we got Prefontaine then we got Maddie Skinny Fatty My Girl is Philly Italian

but Yanni is Papa and Chrissy is Daddy Drex. Shane Cavanaugh. Anthony Raul. Nunya Bidness. Oh, Nunya Bidness. Nice.

Nice. I like that. Yeah, it's a good one. Patrick Sheehan. Then we got Here Goes My PhD. I'm a fucking stupid kid. Joe Rogan, shut the fuck up and take your shirt off. Nice.

That's funny. You're getting a PhD. Thank you. We got wide ranges of intelligence on here. Yes, we do. Then we got Louis Green, Jamie Ford, Zach Steele, Liam DiPietro. That's an Irish and Italian kid. Then we got Make No Mistake, COVID was created in AOC's vagina and mass produced by the Democrats,

Trump 2020. Wei Zhongzhen. List. Yeah, we don't condone it, but it's a list for funny points. Why not? Then we got Jamie Ragusa. Ragusa is a funny last name because it's an Italian last name and it ends in USA. It's old, buddy.

Yeah. Then we got Camila Piotropiluk. Probably a nice Polish lady. Then we got Chris BRFC123. Then we got Mike Didn't Quit. He got catapulted over the wall out of 14. Kid has an inside scoop. That's good. Then we got the 12 quarter kid, but make no mistake

I ain't no $3 bill. Drexler. Then we got Melinda Villarreal. Then we got It's Good Guy Steve. Then we got Call Me a Slope and I'll Crack You Open Like a Cantaloupe. Make no mistake, I got loud rope fumes. Way Jong Jan.

Is the kid Asian? Is he an Eastern Hemi? I mean, if you call him a slope, does that mean he's an Asian? I mean, don't call me a slope, probably. I mean, what do I do? It's funny. We're moving on. Veneti says we're moving on.

We have to move on, but it's funny, though. Okay, we're moving on. If you are Asian, we appreciate the last name. If you're Asian, you can get away with it. You belong on the list if you're Asian, but I can't make that determination. I'm getting – yeah, Fennity is making the call. Yeah, if you're not Asian, if you're not Asian, we don't condone that. We don't condone it at all.

But if you are Asian, you can put in an offer on my apartment and all cash above the asking price. Then we got Amanda Orozco. Then we got Jackie Tucks It Back, but not that far because tiny tomato piece. On the list. Tiny potato piece. On the list. Either Tomato or Potato It's Funny. On the list. He can't go all the way back because his piece is too little. That's what it is. That's going to be the winner. That's the front runner.

Then we got Samantha, Brant Bauer, Jeffrey Gray, Jeff McCaffrey. Then we got Jax on the Run. Then we got Natalie, Chris Carroll, Daisy Ivers, Megan McConaughey, David Hickey, Corey Jackson, Skin Flute, The Poop Shoot, Nontute, Coyote. It's a good one. Yeah.

Skin Flute, Poop Shoot, you know. Yeah. It's a good one. He's bringing it back because he knows we don't want it. So I'm going to give him a Drexler for that. Then we got Jonesy11. Then we got 3 out of 10, Namin. I don't know what that means, but okay.

Black kid. Appreciate it. Then we got, but I don't know what three out of ten means. Who knows? Not a ten out of ten. Three dollar bill out of ten. Oh, three out of ten. Got it. Got it. Got it. Namin. Appreciate it. Then we got Trevor Lambert, Ronald Pittman. Then we got Chrissy D, a.k.a.

Cucasaurus Rex in a three dollar dress screaming yas. Onto the list. Onto the list. Then we got Alexia Hulin. Then we got Benny got a dozen quarters, but Pride Month's almost over. How do I tell my boyfriend I'm straight, Kearns? Okay.

I like it. It's good. It's interesting. Twelve quarters. We got a couple of dozen quarter jokes. Yeah. Yeah. I liked it.

I liked it. But I don't think. Yeah. Venetius agrees with me. Not good. Almost. Almost. Almost.

Then we got Cuzzy Dougie tucks his pseudo pee behind a tree with Chrissy D. Then we got Bew. I'm no baguette monkey, but make no mistake, my name means cute. Baguette monkey meaning French kid. I guess French kid. That's funny. Bew. Yeah.

I mean, we're going to get Drexler. Bow. Bow. Bow. Bow. Okay. Drexler. Drexler.

Then we got Jesse Carrillo. Then we got Yanni Longdays needs a GI Joe-in-oscopy. On to the list. A GI Joe-oscopy? A GI Joe-in-oscopy. On the list. He gets it. Marshall Conner.

Travis Trevino. I mean, Travis Trevino. Then we got Drew. Paris Conway. Sean Sweeney. Cody Hinshaw. Tyler Foran. Then we got eating Chrissy's bean while Giannis is wanging his crank

and his mom used Spanx. I like it. Very good Drex. Used Spanx are funny. Yeah, Drexler, Drexler, Drexler. Then we got Yas. Then we got Robert, Michael McQuelly. Then we got Timmy Tucks It Back, but the potty waddy makes me go Puyoing Z.

Appreciate it. Jessica Nicole, Aaron Lennon. Then we got $3 Devin. I suck Chrissy in 07, but it's okay. Daddy's dead. Yeah, on the list. Okay, so on the list. And where have you been?

Yeah, on the list. Then we got Chinese-Japanese dirty knees on Chrissy D. We don't condone that. Then we got Jared Waters. Then we got Jordan. Chrissy banged my girl, but it's okay because I gave her chlamydia the week before to Clerko. On to the list. On to the list. On to the list.

Okay. Then we got... That's what you call a revenge name. Yeah, revenge name. Then we got Matthew Volkalik. Amber popping her Patreon cherry to upgrade from a Chrissy toot to a screwed in matriarch just like Papa Yanni Lane. Welcome.

Welcome. Then we got Seven with Warts. Sauce Monkey Trump 2020. Seven with Warts. Then we got Seven with Warts Sauce Monkey Trump 2020. Seven with Warts. Then we got Mikey I Scan My Face at the CBS Sorry. Mikey I Scan My Face at the CVS Self Checkout and the price came up

as $3. Funny. Funny. Matt a mouth is a mouth when going down south but Chrissy never called back after Houston because he's an FF. Then we got Vanity for Black Lives Matter toppling statues till they shatter.

Drexler. Good one. Then we got my chihuahua rape my pit bull. It's what it is. Then we get Texas made suck your toes and eat your holes. Hey, McConaughey 2020. Then we got Willie moving the vegetables and my vote to the right. Oh, nearly. Then we got Willie Moving the Vegetables and My Vote to the Right, O'Neilly. Then we got Chrissy and His Corn Nuts Been Nuttin' in Dude's Butts.

Then we got Luis Martinez, Ku Klux Chrissy in the Sheets, Steel Pipe Chrissy in the Streets. Oh, Ku Klux Chrissy in the Sheets, Steel Pipe Chrissy in the Streets. Then we got Peter Welsh. Then we got James, My Wheezy Piece has the Rona Fuck You. Very good. That's it? Very good.

That's it. And people have been requesting Venetia read off the winners. So get to the mic and tell us what those nominated on the list names are. Congratulations to the Drexlers, as always. Everybody's funny. It's all a game. We appreciate everyone's attempt. If you want to go straight to the back and just as always. Everybody's funny. It's all a game. We appreciate everyone's attempt. If you want to go straight to the back

and just do a regular name, you're here for the content. We appreciate you. Okay, so Jordy White sauce on my monkey while I move it to that squeak Tom Hardy. It's a character actor on my piece de Blasio. Yeah, funny, funny. Make no mistake, COVID was created in AOCs

and mass productionproduced. You got to read it so people know what it is. Make no mistake, COVID was created in AOC's vagina and mass-produced by the Democrats. Trump 2020. Jackie tucks it back, but not that far because tiny potato piece. Chrissy D. A.K. Cucasaurus rex in a three dollar dress screaming yas uh yanni long

days need a needs a gi jolenoscopy thank you uh three dollar devon i suck chrissy in 07 but it's okay daddy's dead jordan chrissy banged my girl but it's okay because I gave her chlamydia the week before. Okay, it's between that guy and tucked it back, but he couldn't get it all the way back. I'm going tucked it back. I like tucked it back because it's a little potato piece. That's the winner. Congratulations. But yeah, the guy who gave the chlamydia, just let me know

from my doctor's records. Just kidding. Yeah, thank you. We'll see you next week, everybody. Stay tuned. Also, the Conspiracy Cuties only on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, so make sure you get that. Oh, historyahinas.com,

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