History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 16 - Tesla was WILD!

Episode Date: May 27, 2018

The History Hyenas are joined by their guest Jen who is the resident TBPHDC. We talk about the life and times of Nikola Tesla who was  known for his contributions to today's alternating current electricity supply system. Kid had beef with Edison and was a WILD kid. WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay. You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. موسيقى مخاله الباي خلا مخاله علي مخاله علي مخاله علي مخاله علي مخاله علي Welcome to the history hyenas. Zach, he had a gun to our head and he made us. That was just how to pledge allegiance to ISIS. No, it's Chrissy D, Chrissy Stefano, back on the Mizikes with Giannis Pappas,

everyone's favorite feta cheese fucker that's right um and then we have a special guest in here today i mean we've been waiting for a long time to get this young long time first of all first of all let me preface stuff by saying for all those people out there trying to otherize us we have a proud strong female yes that we've added to today's episode because we don't want um anyone out there feeling like we're discriminating against strong women and she's you're a millennial as well probably yes yes well so we're really we're checking a lot of boxes here we got terrorists from the middle east got terror we have uh transgender transgender is me we have openly

gay man openly gay trans man and bi man and bi. And strong white female. And strong white female. And then I want you to say her name. She's not white. She's Greek. She's Greek. Are you full Greek? No. Jem Pekakis. My dad's Greek. He's from Turkey. Oh. Jem Pekakis. He's from Constantinople, as he would like to say. Oh, Constantinople, the Eastern Empire.

Yeah. Yeah. Used to be called Constantinople. Now it's called, go ahead Isis. You can say it and get hard when you do it. Coxstantinople? Is that what you're going to say? No, he's not. I don't think he's really an ISIS. What's that?

Istanbul. Oh, Istanbul. Istanbul is a Greek word. Everything is Greek. It's Istanbul. Istanbul is city. There you go. There you go.

Police. Police. Police. Yeah, so we have Jen Bacakis. She is from Cornell. PhD from cornell and she was a listener of the podcast absolutely hell yeah now yeah we just have like kind of an open door policy don't we but that's how easy it is if you just get in touch with us we'll let you in fucking rafael deluca brought us smoothies yeah jen is here now people can just come in yeah now you have to

message me though because you messaged me i people can just come in yeah now you have to message me though because you messaged me i fucking gave you the keys yeah if you message yannis it's like border patrol he's not gonna let you in but i'm fucking open door you can have a gun right now and i just don't care i'll go out with a smile on my face yeah you know it helps that rafael and i have come from ivy league schools yes yes yes i did not know we had such an educated uh listenership well i could not even say the word educated right. Well, the thing is I think how – Educated.

Educated. What we do is we have history in the title, so it makes people feel like, oh, look, it's an informative podcast. And then when they start to listen to it, I think we – most Ivy Leaguers, I think you're in a small percentage of our listeners because I think most Ivy Leaguers listen to – they see it and they're like, I'm going to give this a shot. And then they turn it off after the intro music. When they're like, oh, is that cackling hyenas to a freestyle beat? But you and Raphael are some of like, because you're the true blue gays,

the TBGs that we need, and that you guys kind of make, you're like the lifeblood of this podcast. Yeah, I like to think of myself as a critical consumer, and this, you know, absolutely. And you're a TB PhD phd true blue phd which is which is i don't yes absolutely so like you know to have a tb phd we have two true blue phds in here well i'm not i'm a clinical doctor though she's a to be a tb phd is like

dissertation i know but yeah if i was if i choking on the train, you'd be closer to saving me than her doctorate. Yeah. Yeah. I can't help people. She could tell you the history of the apple you're choking on. Yeah, but the school she's going to sounds a lot better than yours. Cornell is like, where'd you get your physical therapy PhD? You know, Queen School?

Yeah. It's called the Queen Schools of Touching People. It's called DeVry. I went and got my PhD online. It's called the queen schools of touching people. It's called DeVry. I got my PhD online. It's called I'll Fix Your Back Education Institute. Yeah, cuz. Yeah, so. Nice shirt, cuz.

Yo, you like that shit, cuz? Yeah. True blue psychopaths go against the grain. Yep. And you straight up look like you just walked out of 1970s. Yeah, and I got on pea green pants. Yeah, you do, but your hair looks good, and you know what? Oh yeah, pea green pants, your hair looks good, and you know what else?

What? Because your face has been fucking swollen in your Instagram videos. Yeah? It's receded. You look normal again. You look like you got stung by a bee in the face. Yeah, what happened? What do you think that was? Allergies. Yeah, yeah. And redness, I think maybe from the sun being out there and not the proper skincare. Yeah. Jen,

is he cuter on Patreon, on the video, or in person? In person. He's cute! Giannis is cute. I know. I think I definitely am better looking in person. I'm not as photogenic as you are. 100% better looking in person. I mean, bring up a picture of Giannis. You're very photogenic.

Don't do that to yourself, Giannis. Just Google Giannis Papas Dasit and we'll see picture up. Just Google Giannis Papas Dasit, and we'll see some of the – just Giannis Papas Dasit, or just Google Dasit, D-A-S, yeah, D-A-S-I-T. And we'll see. This is what Giannis looks like on the internet. Yeah, if you just go down to that one. Yeah, right below. There you go.

I mean, this is, you know. So Giannis, he looks a little different on the internet than he does in person. That's me. Dasit. That's my true personality right there. Yeah, there's times where I'm listening to Giannis and we talk and hang out all the time. I love how they have a quote from MLK with the that's it. Oh, wow.

Look at that. I didn't see that. What's the quote? That's it, man. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's exactly what Martin Luther King said. Martin Luther King said, that's it, man. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's exactly what Martin Luther King said. Martin Luther King said. That's it.

I'm glad I could have created a character that denigrated the legacy of a great man. Yeah. I have a dream. That's it, man. That's it. That's it. That's what you like. So, yeah.

So we're fucking psychopaths. We do this podcast. It's a history and learning podcast that we try to make fun. Do we really talk about history and nature that much? Not really. A little bit. A little bit. I mean, we do.

There's times where we did. In the beginning, we really did. But then there's times we just come in here and we're like, we don't even know what we're going to talk about, but something historical just comes up. But today, we thought we'll actually have some kind of plan. Yeah. Right? Not a plan.

Well, we always have a plan. Yeah. We just it yeah we end up talking about you the inside of your asshole yeah that just happens yeah yeah we just call the doctor up but yeah we're just like you know show pics of my asshole but that's you know i mean listen that's why we're hyena like exactly if there was no hyena then it would just be history and then it's we just be in a category with everybody else but because we put in hyena you can't expect things to go the right way. I mean this hyena, the picture we have up today is a pack of hyenas eating a gazelle

alive. They're eating it from the legs up. Or as I like to call it, hyena brunch. Hyena brunch. That's like hyenas brunching with their friends. Guys, do you want to guys go eat antelope ass on Sunday? Sure. It's millennial church. It's millennial church it's millennial church absolutely yeah um so yeah so today i thought you know we both we we like i love documentaries do you are

you netflix you watch a lot of docs on netflix absolutely can you watch crime documentaries alone in the dark by yourself or do you need to be all the lights on or on a plane i can i can watch it so you can watch a documentary by yourself. That's scary. Yeah. Yeah, you're a brave kid. I recently watched something about the Manson murders. By yourself?

Yeah. Alone? Yes. But then I realized it happened like a stone's throw from where I grew up, and then I got a little bit... How'd that make you feel? A little bit shivery. But you still like...

Yeah, just compartmentalize. So you can watch a documentary by yourself at night and then go outside that same night and not feel like the people who are just watching are following you. I don't know if I can anymore. Yeah, because I can't. Because if I watch something, even if the people are dead, like if I watch a documentary about Jack the Ripper, when I go outside that night or the next night, usually I'll see Jack the Ripper or feel Jack the Ripper's presence behind me outside that night or the next night usually, I'll see Jack the Ripper or

feel Jack the Ripper's presence behind me. But we know he's dead. I mean, I never found out who he was. This is a lot of words to just explain that you're a fucking true blue pussy. Yeah, I'm a TBP. That's what he's trying to say, really. I'm a TBV. He's asking, are you as scaredy cat as he? Probably not. Yeah. I'm Greek.

She's Greek. So Greeks aren't scared. No, we're strong, superior people, cuz. You really are. Yeah. And she's from Constantinople. You said your father's from Constantinople? My father is fresh off the boat from Constantinople. Wow.

My mom is not. My mom is from L.A. Right. How did they meet? Is your dad like dark-skinned Turkish? My dad has blue eyes, clearer than I do. But aren't some of the Turks, aren't they like real like... They run the gamut.

A lot of them are Caucasian looking. A lot of them are a little browner. Kind of runs the gamut. You want to throw all the Turks into the GNC, right? Absolutely, baby. I did the annoying Mother's Day post thing. So that's my mom. But it was also my dad's birthday. Yo, I hope, yeah.

I mean, I say this with all due respect, but your mom's a piece, no? yeah your mom's definitely a piece now let me see your dad now yo straight up that's cool yo no hold up yo yo let me just say Yeah. I don't know if there's some Patreon members on here who saw that video we posted where we were at Valley Forge. And we showed that picture of the guy on the wall who looked exactly like you. Yeah. I think you're a fucking Martian sent by the simulators because you look exactly like her fucking dad. I cannot believe what I'm fucking seeing. Have you ever noticed that?

Have you noticed how wild that is? Am I your dad? Yo, let me see. Let me show Zach first. I mean, this is nuts, dude. I mean, yo, are you fucking, are you an illusion? Are you a mirage? Yo, how wild is that? Here you go. You are her pops. You've been here before.

You're here in many forms. Wow. Wild. I'm your pops. Good looking kid. Yeah. People used to think, they used to mistake him for Robert. Wild. I'm your pops. Good looking kid. Yeah. People used to think they used to mistake him for Robert Redford. Yo, good looking dude. I'd be mistaken for Macaulay Culkin. Yo, that's crazy.

You look exactly like her pops. Yo, I'm your pops. Hello, Pepe. When my dad first moved to L.A. So in Turkey, there's a lot of Sephardic Jews. Boo. Boo. first moved to LA so in in Turkey there's a lot of Sephardic Jews because boo you know Columbus sailed the ocean blue Spain kicked out all the Jews into Turkey is same year right and 1492 good year and and so they spoke Spanish and they were called Latinos so my dad came straight to LA didn't speak English you

worked as a dishwasher. So the first thing he said back to my yaya, my grandmother, was that there's a lot of Jews in LA, which is true, but not the people that he was referring to. No, yeah. Yeah. He was, yeah, he was used to them looking a little different. And then they were like, hey, mira, wepa.

And he was like, oh, they speak weird, these Jews. Andale. Well, speaking of Jews. What you talking about, I say? Speaking of Jews, Nikola Tesla, who I don't even know if he was a Jew or not. He probably wasn't. I know he was Serbian. He wasn't. He was Orthodox.

He was Orthodox. He was from Serbia, though. His father was a Greek Orthodox priest. Wow. He was born in a small town in Croatia, this kid. His father was a Greek Orthodox priest. Wow. He was born in a small town in Croatia, this kid. Jen said she thinks he was handsome, Tesla. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, you know. I know he was very tall. Tall, dark, and handsome. TDA, tall, dark, handsome. But you know what? He would have probably thought you were gross. Why? Because you are gross because you're actually very gorgeous, but because he had a phobia of, like, chicks.

Chicks, yeah, he was scared of chicks. He didn't like their earrings. He got, like, freaked out by earrings, which is one of the strangest phobias I've ever heard. He fired a secretary for being overweight. Really? I mean, that is not woke. That's fucked up.

That is really fucked up. Did he think about her feelings? Did he see I feel pretty because it's empowering? For women. So, yeah, because when I was like researching him, like did he ever, like was he asexual? Because he would say that he couldn't, he was like, he can't even think about

his brain won't even allow him to get to the point of romance because he just cares about electricity. And he just is obsessed with electricity and how things move through electricity. That's all he cared about. I have a, when I was teaching it, I had a theory, I had a hunch that I think with men, they hit this age, and I think it's getting, it's later now in life, but back then maybe

30, where you get overripe, where it doesn't matter anymore. You're so set in your own ways that you kind of become asexual in a way. Yeah, I'm there already. You're asexual now? Yeah. I'm not there yet. I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet. No, you got a while to go. Yeah. You're going to be good for a while. But he was always like that, right? I mean, he was kind of just always, I don't think he ever

had sex or it doesn't seem like he ever had a girlfriend or anything. Never had a girlfriend or wife, no kids, nothing. The guy would like to fuck electricity, really, if he could. That's what it was. I mean, that was his obsession. Seems stimulating. Yeah, I mean, he was passionate about electricity the way ISIS is passionate about the heads of Jews on spikes.

The way... Yeah, the way fucking... The way Zach wants New York City to be a caliphate is what Tesla wanted... Basically, Tesla saw text messages and the internet before we had it but i mean he died in the 40s right i think and it's like he it was all he saw it all in his head

dude he saw smartphones he saw it all he saw it all i mean you see you see he is just evidence that the propeller of history is really genius individuals like him you look at all these notes they found from le da Vinci. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci had sketches of airplanes and stuff. Really? I mean, nuts. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, these people really propel history forward,

and we all kind of live on the backs of these individual esoteric geniuses. Wow, I'm feeling smart because we got a PhD student here, a real one. Yeah, yeah. Not a trash bag. No, fucking real shit. Yo, cuz, I can't believe you're the mores through the hair. Real ones. Yeah, yeah. Not a trash bag. No. Fucking real shit. Yo, cuz, I can't believe you're the more educated of the two, me and you. It's fucking wild.

It's not fucking wild. But I'm not the smarter. I just have the more academic accolades. You are the smarter. You're the better at acting fucking like a stupid fucking guy. No, no, no. But your theory is, but the way your- I did go to a pretty good school. American University, pretty much almost Ivy League.

Good school. The American University. And you were educated by Quakers, so nice kid. The sack! Yeah. We sat in silence. Yeah. It's a fucking weird thing to be.

It's a little weird that you went to a Quaker school. Yeah, but you're sending Delilah to a Quaker school. I probably will, but you just know that you were raised a little weird. You're a little bit like you were just on the, because you're a cool kid and you were raised in Brooklyn. Just know that that saved you. Because if you were raised anywhere else with the education and the upbringing, you would have been someone who like wanted to purge and you could only have sex with a woman with a donkey head on backwards. You know, like you would have – you fit into that category. You're calling me a wasp almost.

Like a waspy stuff. You're calling me weird because you slept in the bed with your mom until you were 19 years old. Yeah, cuz. Yeah. But at least I'm from Queens, you know? Yo, cuz, at least I grew up, you know what I mean? At least I grew up watching the Mets. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. No, but yeah. Wasps love me. Yeah? Because you kind of look like, you're like an undercover Greek. Absolutely. You look like a German. So now we have a theory, well, Giannis is, you know, because Giannis is a push theory forward.

Sorry. That wasps would look at Giannis and I, because we're like New York trash, and get nauseous. She knows. By the way we talk. Do you agree with that? They do. I mean, I've been in there. They do.

Yeah. No, they- They found out you were Greek and they went, no. Well, they thought my family, well, people that I've dated, let's say, that are wasps, that my family was always arguing. And I like we're just talking yeah right but look at us like animals so when we get emotional right look at us curious like what's these feelings yeah they look at you like you just like said like a dirty joke no I I broke up with a boyfriend because I was sitting at a dinner table

and it was myself and then a bunch of his friends and they were, I'm not even joking, the entire dinner they talked about where they have golfed, where they will be golfing, where they want to golf and who they want to golf with. And I stared into my rosé and said I can't do that. I couldn't do it either. When you'd marry

your date a wasp, you end up with like a serious closet drinking problem. B bodies in the basement yeah bodies in the mid because they're like we're going you know they park their boats you know and then they're like we're going golfing and we're going to the country club and then we're gonna go it's mundane right a little bit well it's just a little dry it's a little khaki pants life i i dated a this this guy that i'm talking about. So I went to his – Was his name Baker?

Yeah. Was his name Zuckerberg? Baker is a good wasp name. Zuckerberg's Jewed Out. Oh, yeah. Jews can't be wasps, right? No. Jews can't be wasps.

Obviously, no. White Anglo-Saxon pride. Correct. Yeah. So his folks live in Connecticut. And I went to visit. Yeah. Yeah. So his folks live in Connecticut. And I went to visit. And I mean, his parents were sweet.

But his mom said to me, oh, Jennifer, have you seen his portrait? And I said, no. And he goes, oh, well. And his father said, oh, you must show her the portrait. And he said, no, don't show her the portrait. So I go into the drawing room. Wow. And there's a portrait like straight out of the Rockefeller family of him standing there.

And then the best was, she says, oh, and the one of his brother is in the Pieta Terre in Manhattan. So my biggest regret in life is that I didn't get a selfie with the portrait. You're getting a kid from Queens. You would never come into contact. Thank God you're such a funny comedian and doing good because now you've actually attracted this into your life where she's actually been exposed to actual wasps, and that's what goes down. I mean, this kid had a portrait drawn of him.

She said the pet a tear. I thought for a second, and I'm hungry now, I thought you said prêt-à-manger. That's what I thought, like the sandwich. Like sandwiches, yeah. Because that's the only French thing I've ever heard in my life before I went to France was prêt-à-manger. And then I'd call it prêt-à-mange.

I used to call it pet a manager. I didn't know what it was. He had a portrait? He had a portrait? He had a portrait. Wow. And he was standing by some piano with a stack of books and looking away. And I just looked at it and said, oh, this is interesting. But it's kind of like the Mauritian, the whole getting to Westchester.

As much as I know my dad would love it if I ended up marrying a Greek, like there's still a part where they see it as like social climbing. Yes. It's like, oh, I've infiltrated. Yes. Because I look like I could be one of them. Yes.

Yeah. And I have the credentials of someone who's doing it. You're living in their, you're moving in their world. Exactly. They still kind of look down a little, like the mother was kind of like looking at you, like, you know,

like you're a little bit of a trash bag though she knows your genealogy yeah did she ask if your father owned a diner did you throw that one in there yeah that kind of comes with the territory yeah I am so you know Tesla he all you know he was like a rock star in his day too. For a little while. He was always with the Wasps. Because a lot of times you think of someone like you find out they're so famous to us, but then you find out during their life nobody knew who the fuck they were.

Nobody knew who Beethoven was when he was alive. He was just some guy. We only know about him now. But Tesla was interesting to me because he was like – he was as famous as like an Elon Musk. Even more famous than Elon Musk. Yeah. So he used to like be chilling with all the fucking people that were way out of his league.

And I thought that that was really interesting. And then, you know, he kept getting funded by like major, I think he kept getting funded by like JP Morgan. Like the actual Morgan

would fund him. And he was basically stealing his money. He was like, look, I'm going to do this. He was blowing up Barnes. Yeah. And he was like,

it's just about electricity, dude. It's just, he was just obsessed with it. Well, he started wild out and started, didn't he Yeah, and he was like, it's just about electricity, dude. He was just obsessed with it. Well, he started wild out and started – didn't he start saying like he was talking to Mars and stuff? Mars and Martians and shit. Yeah, that was a long time. Yo, maybe he was though. He probably fucking was.

Might have been. And yo, if he would have just – I mean the Westinghouse deal or whatever, I mean he would have been worth like over a billion dollars. But he gave all the royalties back to Westinghouse because Westinghouse was like ah no it's i want to do a better deal and tesla was just so obsessed with the idea and salt in it just for the art of it and the love of it they didn't even give a fuck about money yeah i think he was just naive when it came to business you think he just couldn't speak english that well no he actually spoke like a bunch of languages right kid had a photographic memory he could like he memorized memorized, I think they- Voltaire, right?

Did he love Voltaire? Voltaire, he read everything Voltaire. He was a philosopher, a poet. He was every, they call, well, I mean, as a pejorative, I think Edison referred to him as like a science poet. Which was like, he doesn't get the real world. Like he doesn't understand that we got to make money and shit like that. Edison kind of came off like a dick to me a little bit.

Edison supposedly is a dick, yeah. And that's why Musk named it Tesla, because he wanted Tesla's recognition to come out. Probably. And Tesla seemed like a good dude who cared about advancing humanity. And yeah, when they renegotiated that deal, it was because, I think if I remember correctly, it was a it's uh i think if i remember correctly like the it was a financial thing the investors westinghouse's investors were kind of like look we're losing money whatever and i think he kind of who knows if it was real or not but he kind of either was

earnest about it when he approached tesla and said hey i can't pay you what i said to pay you or else we're going to go out of business or if he just knew that the guy was a fucking business naive right and could take advantage of him and was like hey we got to renegotiate your deal and Tesla was like whatever Tesla just ripped up the contract it doesn't matter so yeah he would have basically had royalties on electricity yeah if he just kept it but then he got nada he also came of age in the 1920s which is very different from the 1930s because investors were just eager to throw money into you yeah harebrained schemes.

But then when you get the Depression, people are much more conservative with their investments. And so he didn't plant any good seeds for what would come in the harder months. He died in the New Yorker Hotel and they say he haunts it. And I filmed MTV's Guy Code and Girl Code in the New Yorker Hotel. And I definitely felt his presence at times when I was in the bathroom. He was probably throwing up thinking where the culture had gone. Yeah. He's like, this is why I invented fucking electricity. So you could text your fucking remote control in your sweatpants and make it look like your dick.

Yeah, you and Schultz could stand there and be like, you know what's crazy? Yo, you be watching Guy Code. Yo, if you fucking girl, then yo, you boys hands off. That's what it is. That's what it is. You know? Bam! Yeah, I thought he was such a-

But you know what's crazy about the whole thing that I thought, Chrissy? What? Was like that whole era is kind of like analogous to now. It's sort of the tech boom and all these tech guys kind of racing for the next sort of innovation with the internet. Back then, it was sort of the innovation with industrialization. It was like they were all trying to get there first, like to the alternating current, to whatever the new machine that was fueled by industrialization. So it's kind of like those guys, the JP Morgans, the Weston House, all those guys.

Now, those guys are kind of like the Zuckerbergs, the Bezos, those guys. Well, what's interesting to me is like we kind of sometimes are like prisoners in the present. Like you just think like our minds are like, oh, maybe this can happen, maybe it can't. But like in Tesla's time, they were saying like there's no way anything that's possible today would have ever been possible. To when anything Tesla was like, oh, but I can make electricity jump we don't need it we don't need those uh those little mini fucking power sources every mile like Edison was saying because with the direct current shit so like Elon Musk just said yesterday that he's confident extremely well his company said that they're going to be able in the next 20 years to be able to put people on a flight that would cost

the price of an economy plus ticket of you's airlines, a plane that could get you from New York to Shanghai in 39 minutes because it would use the gravitational pull of the earth and go into pretty much outer space but not all the way out and like rip you around the stratosphere in 39 minutes and it'd be able to like get on. And he's like, this will happen. The capability of it is happening and a lot of people like that can't happen it's not possible but it's probably going to happen because i mean if if we told tesla he can get to california in five hours he'd be like fucking what he would have no that's it wasn't available to him can you imagine if you can get

to shanghai quicker than you can get cross town in manhattan fucking wild wild because if we get to shanghai and you call somebody on your cell phone who was in the car and like where you at he's like yo I'm still fucking caught by I'm still caught on 5th Avenue

yo cause like yo I'm in Shanghai yo cause if Elon Musk puts it out in the next six months you wanna do your bachelor party in Bangkok absolutely

we'll do it we'll be back that fucking same night we'll do it the night before your wedding yo a lot of trans a lot of trans in Bangkok yeah a lot of ladyboys for you

I could do a trans I'm not I'm not a lot of lady boys yeah yeah for you i'm not i'm not you i'm not attracted to even if i know you were born a man even if you look like a woman you got the surgery i can't do it yeah and it's not that i'm a homophobe at all but it's not but i just i can't i'm not attracted to it you know there's no wrong with that yannis at times said he could be attracted he can watch the porn of it i well i i would be more attracted i think to it than a beautiful trans right than a woman who looked like a man see i can do a woman that looks like a man no problem i mean most of the women i hook up with look like men gender bender uh yeah i mean i'm i'm fucking i'm wild when it comes to has anyone ever asked you

what pronoun you go by? Not yet. No, but that's your generation. That's your generation. How do you feel about that? What's Cornell like now? Is there a lot of protesting going on? Is it safe space? And you're from LA.

That's like a double whammy. Oh my God. Yeah. Are you triggered right now? No. I always like to say that it's good to be bilingual. You don't necessarily have to buy in on whatever the newest fad of hysteria is, but it's good to know how they think.

Because I think one of the biggest, we talk about the whole Me Too movement and everything, one of the biggest rapes that we've seen in the last 20 years is the rape of language. It's changing words to mean things that they absolutely 100% emphatically do not mean. And the idea that words can be so offended, so offensive to a person, to me is just mind-boggling.

I mean, I wasn't raised that way, and I just don't see it. But I'm a liberal, but we're the problem. The liberals are the problem because there's the old adage of, I may disagree with you, but I would die for your right for you to say that. And that's going away. Yeah.

Now they won't even allow the debate kind of thing. Yeah. Well, that's the biggest problem I have with the younger generation is like, if you don't agree with them, then you're just wrong and they want to kill themselves and you're bad you're a bad person you can't just be wrong and debate the idea absolutely you're morally suspect i recently got into a thing with someone in my department what's his fucking name babe we'll take care of him yeah the old fashioned way yeah he so i was in a sorority when I was in college And he Implicated me In all of the kind of like

Rape scandals and everything because I Wouldn't apologize for being in it And I said why would I apologize This was a lovely experience and it's a great Networking You wouldn't apologize for being For being in a sorority It's like the Soviet show trials

You have to apologize for past involvement. Why would he want you to apologize for being in a fucking sorority though? It was wild. Literally the conversation started with where did you go to get drunk food in college? And then I said

oh you know sometimes my sorority sisters and I would just go into the kitchen and we just raid the fridge. And the chef would get mad. And he goes, you had a chef? And I said, yeah. Yeah. All sorority houses do.

Yeah. Do all sorority houses have chefs? Yeah. And houseboys. What's a houseboy? They serve you dinner. They answer the door. They live for free in a wing of the house.

Right. This is not a in a wing of the house. This is not a typical sorority. All sororities have that? Well, I mean, all the ones at Berkeley did. Now, the house boys, were they sometimes sex slaves too or no? Not in my house, but we did throw one of them a massive 21st birthday party. We got a stripper, we had kegs, everything. It went nuts, yeah. That's good.

Houseboys and chefs. And everyone kicks in to pay them? Yeah, we all pay. We pay dues. But so that somehow became this class thing where I... And then I said, well, you know, I had a great experience there.

And I don't think all people in fraternities are rapists. I think that some of the most lovely people I know were in fraternities. Yeah, only 85%. But then from there it went into, you know, oh, I can't believe you're defending this. Like, you know, you're part of the problem. See, and that person, another problem that we have is they're generalized to you.

When it's like you have an individual story with an individual outcome. But this person's generalizing you and making you into a fucking villain. That's the biggest issue I have with this is the generalization versus the individual. If you live, you have to live in the gray area. If you pick the side, if you've like stoically picked the side, I just think you're a fucking asshole. And I just know that you're not going to be. I can't have a tolerable conversation with you because we all bend a little bit. Yeah. And it's Because we all bend a little bit. Yeah.

Because we all bend. It's just amazing how the goalposts always move for like offense. Sure, of course. Where it's like – I saw an article the other day about are straight black men the new white people of black people? What? I was going, what the fuck? Yeah. I mean, I couldn't even follow it. It's like, what?

Yeah. I mean, I couldn't even follow it. It's like, what? Yeah. And, you know, so, and then, like, you know, just this. It's like, sororities? Are sororities offensive now? No, honestly, man. It's like they're trying to eat everything up. It's almost like if, when they do eat that up, then they look for the next thing to be offended by

because their whole existence is to be offended. So they got to find something to be offended by. There's a symbolic capital to victimization. So there's an actual benefit and in some cases a real monetary benefit. But there's a social climbing to be able to say, I'm a victim because of this. And it doesn't, you know. Your generation kind of did that. Exactly.

Yeah, that's where it started. It's unfortunate because we're having to compete in an economy that's not allowing for us to be as successful as our parents. So this is how we compete with social cachet and social capital. And we do that by being the most outraged, the most offended. And then articulating it in academies in the most verbose way where you confuse people like are black men the new white whatever. Yeah, are straight black men the new white people of black people? Exactly. Some millennial wrote that. I mean, how are you talking about a group of people, black?

black you're going to within black people you're going for a subset of people and saying they have more privilege than white or gay black people and then you're targeting them as uh as uh perpetrators of something because they enjoy more privilege it's like you're talking about that subset of people probably the most discriminant if you want to get into it it's like those were the ones who were fucking enslaved the most but you know what if you talk most of these people you can listen to what they have to say and once you hit them with the question of okay what what do i need to do then to make you happy they don't have an answer because it's just the rage so you just have to let them i just let them go it's akin to religious fervor it really is yeah it's the same thing it's like and it's like that's why i feel like you know at least with

you know comedy we don't have to live in that world like i don't have to live by the at least right now i don't have to live by those rules i go on stage freedom of speech i talk we you know we try to make it as funny as possible people are going to be offended inevitably but it's like there's no boss that's going to be like oh you know we're going to fire you because you racially discriminate it's like we wouldn't do that anyway but it's like these people there's so many people black and white and whatever color you know race religion uh sexual orientation that you know their lives are ruined by this fucking bullshit when it's like this is stupidity the stupidity in this world what Jen was saying is that kind of you know it's kind of true is that

like we're all competing for who has the most victim story and the more the more you can portray yourself as a victim or describe yourself as a victim the higher your status is for some reason it's kind of a strange thing

and it's something that all these other people who are not institutionally discriminated against are kind of co-opting the struggle of African-Americans who were institutionally discriminated against. You see like these South Asian people and Asian people yelling at white guys. You're like, what the fuck are you talking about? How have you had it hard? You guys are crushing it in this country. Do you have like applause te the fuck are you talking about? How have you had it hard? You guys are crushing it in this country. Do you have like applause

teed up? Do you have an applause button thing on the thing? You have it teed up? Yeah. I just want to let the listeners know that for the first time in about, I would say maybe first episode of the whole series, 15 episodes in, Giannis Papas has made it over 30 minutes without

using the word modernity. So we just clap that off. Amenities of modernity. Modernity. And he will at some point say buffet, and then that's your cue. You can leave if you'd like to. Do you say buffet or bouffet?

Yeah. Buffet. Buffet. Thank you, John. Am I the only one who says buffet? You're a tolerable person. He says buffet and modernity, every other fucking word.

So what are you studying at Cornell? So I'm doing my PhD in economic history. Wow. I say economic history, but go ahead. Yeah, I would say economic. Buffet. Yeah. No, you say it the right way.

It's economic, economic, and business history. So I'm a historian of the 20th century. I start from about the post-World War II period, and I go into the 90s, and I look at the tourism economy and investment strategies and how they change over time in relation to macroeconomic and social trends. When I was in Edinburgh, my allergies were kicking up, and I sneezed accidentally on the statue of Adam Smith, the father of economy. See, I sneezed right on his shirt. Adam Smith, the father of economy. See, I sneezed right on his shit. Father of economy? Yeah.

Father of capitalism, but. Well, they say he was the father of, modern, modern, modern economy. He's the father of,

like, economic thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah,

but it's fucking great. You sneezed on that guy? I sneezed, yeah, my allergies kicked up bad. Yeah. Do you have allergies? Did you wipe your face

with the invisible hand? Oh! Oh, Yeah. There we go. Economy jokes. Yeah, economy jokes. I realized I had allergies when I moved here. I didn't know because in California there's just derivations

of summer. Yeah, it's the East Coast. It's through no fault of your own, just because you're from L.A. I've noticed that people from L.A. just kind of have, you have like an L.A. accent, and I get it. I know where it's environmental. It's through no fault of your own Just because you're from LA I've noticed that people from LA Just kind of have You have like an LA accent And I get it I know where It's environmental It's sort of like

We have this kind of aggressive Kind of quick Because the weather is cold And people are trying to stab us At all times And somebody's going to Take their dick out And show us on the subway

And you kind of have this Kind of like everyday sunny Avocado But let me ask you this Jen I know you were born and raised In California And you're a TBA Or a true blue and raised in california and you're a tba or true blue american i could tell that um but do you like would you agree that the northeast

is like the heartbeat of the country like the northeast like we're we're america absolutely yeah that's good you know i i when i moved to northern california for college i loved san francisco um yeah but then when i moved here i always described new york as like an onion like it's so layered and everyone has to interact with everyone. And I think it creates this level of diversity that you can't beat it. And

rich, poor, any color, they all have to be together. And they're tightly compact. And they're kind of stinky. That's a really good example. And it's really true. That's why really good example. Yeah, it's good in sauce. That's why New York is always avant, ahead of the curve. Because the way it's constructed, it's an old city.

You're right. People are forced to interact with each other. You don't realize how segregated other cities are until you come to New York or are from New York and go to those cities. Fucking Nicky Tessler loved New York. Thomas Edison put his whole camp here. Tessler's all his thoughts were from New York. Cousy, yeah. He made it to Monica's every day.

And the alternating current that he invented, that shit happened in a laboratory in New York in Lower Manhattan, Cousy. Lower Manhattan. And then, yeah, Westinghouse is the one that employed him, but Westinghouse is the one that employed him. But Westinghouse got rich off of the what?

The fucking steam break on the railroad? Yeah, yeah. But he made that shit when he was 22. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't doing shit like that when I was 22. Yo, West. I'm still scared of the dark, but I was really scared of the dark at 22. Yeah.

I mean, people with big brains, you're born with a big brain. Yeah. I mean, you know what's crazy, though? Talk about feminism. Fucking Tesla's mom was like invented all types of shit on the farm. Yeah. She was the inventor. She like invented it.

Her pops was like talking about, you know, religion. He was doing the Christos and Athena. Well, his mom was sitting around inventing shit around their farm. So she was like the brains. She was the brains of the op. And that's what he inherited right there. Well, your mom was, I mean, you both had very smart parents, but your mother was very, very intelligent

and did shit that fucking pushed forward history too. Five law degrees. Yeah. That's why I love when people fucking lecture me on fucking, you know, wokeness. It's like I did social work for five years. Every freaking Halloween I went around with a UNICEF little cardboard thing and took donations.

Yep. My mother worked for the United Nations, you know, and wrote a book for the International Rights of Children for fucking. Yeah. For UNITAR. And then Giannis became Marisa. So you have her mom, and then Yanis became Y-Sean and Marisa.

It's great. Yeah. It is great. Did your parents meet here or in Greece? They met here. My mother was born in Crete, and then she came here when she was early teens, maybe 9, 10, 11, 12. My father was born in Brooklyn. Yeah. Christopher.

His parents came from Imbros, which is now Turkey. So my father was born here. My mother was born there. And then they met in law school, Brooklyn Law School, after the Korean War. Yeah. And I'm loving this episode. This is my new fave. But if you guys want to go back and listen to the archives, the Battle of Crete episode about Giannis' mom's struggle.

I mean, Giannis' mom living in Nazi-occupied Greece. It's the... Yeah. I shared it with a couple's mom living in Nazi-occupied Greece is... Yeah. I shared it with a couple of my Greek students. Really? Yeah. You know the Kontos, the pita company? Yeah.

One of my students at Cornell, her family is Kontos. Oh, wow. There you go. The Greeks have a real love-hate relationship with me. Yeah. It's very interesting. I noticed it firsthand in that diner off the side of the road in Philly when that guy made believe he didn't know you, but of course

he fucking knew you. They have a love-hate relationship. Yeah. It's some love. The younger generation seem to love a little bit more. It's a love-hate because the character, Pano, they kind of, a lot of people think he makes Greeks look bad. A lot of Greeks think he makes Greeks look bad.

Dude, I fucking... I played it for my dad and he said, well, he's right. Yeah. Yeah. It's a satire on the foibles of Greek culture, you know? Fucking... Yeah, man.

Dude, it's a little weird now for me because most of the time, day usually and especially on the podcast i have some medical issue going on that's nerve that i'm nervous about and pushing me forward but ever since i've went to every doctor i could now i've went through every specialist and everything's fine so it's like what am i supposed to worry about now because once i because once the colonoscopy was over i had got every hole and i i'd been to 10 specialists and my insurance called me and said, I cannot go to any more specialists.

You're probably worrying about if the flow of the podcast is good. Yeah, that's what you do. You're like the social justice warriors of anxiety. If they have nothing to protest, they don't know what to do with themselves. If you don't know how to fucking be anxious, you're going to be like, what's my raison d'etre right now? What's my reason for existing?

Raison d'etre. Raison d'etre. Raison d'etre. I fucking. So you just feel uncomfortable right now. You feel uncomfortable because you're comfortable. Because I'm comfortable. That's why I need to fucking shoot you in the back of the head. Yeah, I was listening to the podcast on the train today, last week's episode, and you fucking, you went on for about 15 minutes telling the audience I was dead.

Yeah. I mean, there were definitely people that were like, oh shit. He's dead. You remember that ep? Did you hear that? I the audience I was dead. Yeah. I mean, there were definitely people that were like, oh, shit. He's dead. You remember that ep? Did you hear that? I did, yeah. So this is a new segment that me and Chrissy are going to be doing right now and this is the first installment of how I'm

going to fucking murder Chrissy D. Yes. Okay? Here we go. Chris is so fucking wild. Yep. All right? That he has little or no interest in the NBA playoffs, but he can't wait to get to Germany with me so we can see sights. But he also has a tattoo of Christianity on his back,

and his feet and tit look like Quasimodos. Yep. And these are just a few of the reasons why he needs to be dropped from a helicopter over cement in a straitjacket. Okay, there you go. That's one way I'll go out. That's creative. That's what I want to do. I want to fly

over a heavily cemented urban area with you in a straitjacket in a helicopter and drop you, push you out, kick you. Not even wearing a level one sneaker. Not even one of my nice sneakers. Right. One of my old fucking sneakers because I don't want to ruin a fucking good sneaker on your

fucking back. Yeah. And just push you out and hear one, yeah. Yeah. Get farther and farther away and then hear the smack of your fucking lumpy body hitting the concrete. Because to kill you, all I have to do is put a little bit of cyanide poisoning in a little bit of snooze

and put that little bit of cyanide snooze into a post-op transsexual's vagina and you'll fucking get it. You'll sniff it out and get it. Did you get that one off the top of the head? That was fucking good, guys. You like that one? That's the way I get you.

That's an inventive one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like that little, I was thinking of that Russian doll. Like, you'll just, you'll keep going after it and then the last one will just be that fucking knockout blow right inside that post-op puss. That's a really inventive way to kill me, guys. But this is how I'll kill you.

All right, great. Okay? Great SVU episode. Yeah. Yeah, we're writing shit in here. This is why he needs to go down, because Chris is an empathetic person, but would kick a dog off a mountain and watch its body bang against the rocks on the way down while he shouts cute up to the heavens is why I need to

fucking put him down by tying him to a chair in a public school classroom with unfed woodpeckers to slowly peck and eat your brains out cuz that's what I would do from the back too so it's like a hyena. Yeah. Because I'd still be going like, yo, this is fun. It feels weird. And then once I hit my speech, I just would shut off. Yeah. Because I'd still inside, I'd be like, ah, yeah.

Because that's what woodpeckers do. Once in a while, they'll fly to a lesser bird's nest. And while the mom's off trying to feed the little ones, the little ones will be left alone in the nest. And the woodpecker will slowly peck its brains out and eat its brains while it's alive it's fun to watch wow that's what woodpeckers do in addition to pecking wood they'll fucking peck baby brains out did you see that video of somebody tagged us in of the gazelle giving birth and then the the gazelle taking like three steps and then being eating a lot

eaten alive by a hyena yeah did you see that video that's how it goes sometimes that kid had 10 seconds on this planet that's how it that's how it is sometimes on god's beautiful planet yeah yeah nature i mean dude the fucking nature of it it's that that's the real shit it's like the real and like you know i do jokes on stage about like you know i think a lot of shit that's happening now it's because you know we talk about like there's no violence anymore like back in the day in the tutors you know king henry it's like listen you want to fucking say shit about the king about how he offended you i'm gonna cut your fucking head off that's just what it is sorry you're gonna get your head cut off yeah but that's not a good thing either yeah but i don't know because if it gets it gets to a point where it's so annoying where it's like you

know do some people just it's like okay you can say what you want but just understand there's people in the streets with axes and we may maim you yeah i could maim you yeah so you can fucking protest all you want about shit that you know maybe matters to a group of people see the thing is the problem is i don't have any problem i have almost no fucking problem when somebody other than white people protest i don't have a problem with that because i'm like it ain't so it's not good for you at times but when white people start to protest i'm just like go home that's when you want to just go home i can't when i was in cleveland and i saw the group and i saw the protests outside progressive uh uh field about the way that cleveland indians need to change their name because it's it's fucking um it's uh offensive and it was all white people i wanted to

go home i genuinely was like i can't perform for these fucking people yeah because no no indians are there no native americans here They don't fucking give a shit. It's all white guilt. It's all white guilt. I equally hate fucking right-wing idiots who are just scared of everything. They're going like, yeah, fucking the government. I need my guns because the government's going to fucking invade my town. Fucking commies are taking over.

Fucking, you know. That's what I'm telling you. People who have picked a side and won't budge, both of them on the left and the right are both equally annoying and scary for different reasons yeah they just don't like nuance they don't do it's very you know the way they understand issues is just like with these blanket generalizations and it makes their lives easier i think i don't know this is this is in fact a generalization i don't think a lot of people enjoy nuance because it takes you have to work out a muscle in your brain to live in a gray space it's a lot of people enjoy nuance because it takes, you have to work out a muscle in your brain to live in a gray space.

It's a lot easier to just resign yourself to one side and then say, I don't have to think anymore. It also speaks to sort of our deep rooted tribal instinct that sort of, it's an instinct. And that's what he says all the time. And one of the points you make the most that I love is like, it's not racism or not, it's just tribalism. Every animal on this planet is just,

they stay with their tribes. It's what it is. We're not racism we're not it's just tribalism we're all every animal on this planet it's just they stay with their tribes yeah it's what it is it's not we're not controlling it right because like think about it uh doctor's kid right let's say a rich south asian for the people who don't want south asian means indian basically yeah south asian let's say there's a south asian doctor who's a multi-billionaire has a boat right and then there's like a waspy you know billionaire doctor whose son has a boat right how diverse really is that south asian son right and that wasp son who went to the same fucking same people same prep school and both go to yale i mean is that real diversity, they're in the same tribe, basically. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think that we're really moving away from social mobility and having a middle class and having fluidity between the middle and upper class.

Because I have a friend who is from a very old money family in California. Do they have portraits? Yeah, I'm sure he does. Does he call his dad father? Does he refer him to the third person? Father? Father? I want a horse. But you're three. I want a horse.

I want a pony. I want a pony, father. And he has a girlfriend who he will openly say to his friends, he's like, not really that into her, but he'll be like, oh, I'll probably marry her because she's from a really good family it's like right in what world yeah yeah where it's like we're reverting back to you the turn of the century right you know well like

i think for like marriage to me only is like good for like you know like you know joining a family like that prominent shit where they want to keep the wealth but like for me like i why do i need to get fucking married i'm not marrying into anything and nobody's marrying it's me it's like i'm just signing my life away everybody my family's fucking divorced cuz but first of all i got my daughter yeah i'm not gonna die alone i got you yeah i'm not gonna die alone you know cuz i don't live with you though cuz if you fall down the stairs you're just gonna bleed out yeah you don't like pets either so the pet can't even notify the neighbor yeah because when i move into my place two blocks away and there's thunderstorms, you're

not going to let me sleep on the couch? Come on, cuz. Bernie doesn't care. You can always try to fit on that loveseat, cuz. Yeah, cuz. I feel like that, yeah, yeah, that's my spot. It's always open for you, cuz. If you get scared of noises.

Yeah, I can run over in the middle of the night. Yeah. Yeah. Which is something that'll probably happen, which is one of the reasons why I will have more How I'll Kill You's on further episodes. Because when I move in, because I got a two-bedder, you want to sleep over some night? You want to sleep over like Tuesdays, Thursdays? No, because we're adults.

No, I can't do that. No. I can't say to my fiance, hey, guess what? I'm going to go sleep over Chrissy's house. Why not? Because we're not teenagers, cuz. Yeah, but I got fucking wild hyena footsie pajamas. Well, then that changes it.

If I could get hyena footsies, you'd fucking... Oh, our sweatshirts came in, our hyena sweatshirts. I forgot to bring them. Damn, and I keep forgetting to bring the stuffed animal hyena in here. Because that's just got to be the mascot. Do you like nature, Jen? I do, yes. What's your favorite animals? Are you a cat or dog person?

I like both. Yeah, gray area. I like it. You're not making a choice. Well, actually, it's a great thing that you ask about favorite animals because a Cornell professor, a psychology professor, did a study. And he asked his graduate students for about five years what their three favorite animals were. So my three favorite, elephant, panther, and a vulture. Those are good ones. Good ones, yeah. And so apparently what it means is your first favorite animal

and then he would ask for the attributes about it. Like, what do you like about it? I'm like, all things. They're smart. They're family oriented. They can play soccer, which is cool. Jaguars are like independent, rogue, tough, and sexy. And then vultures, they're like the pragmatists of the jungle.

And they're actually really beautiful in person. From the side. all birds are good looking from the side in the front they look fucking wild you ever notice every eagle pictures from the side because in the front they just look fucking like they look special yeah they look special they look cross-eyed and fucking weird and cuz yo back in the day back in the day like when like the circus was like the biggest thing they used to if you look like another kind of animal, like if you just look like a fucking pigeon or something like that, they were just putting you in the circus. Fucking what?

They call it pigeon boy. Yeah. Well, there was this guy who had no arms, legs, and they called him the human caterpillar and he was just a torso. Oh my God. But he was like a circus act. Yeah. Because you'd be in the circus.

They'd call you anteater tit. Yeah. Right. I'd pull my tit out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you'd be in the circus. They'd call you anteater tit. Yeah, right. I'd pull my tit out. Yeah. Yeah. This professor said that your animals, the first favorite is who it represents how people perceive you.

And the second favorite is who you really are. And your third favorite is what you look for in a partner. Wow. Wow. So, yeah. So, wait. Let's go back to yours. Okay.

So, you think people perceive you as fat. You second, you're a black panther. That's who you are on the inside. And third, vulture, you just want a guy to fucking, you just want a guy to eat fucking dead bodies. Yeah. No, practical,

meaning like she's going to marry for practical, which is why you should marry, I think. I agree. Marriage is more of a practical. You get those wild love affairs out when you're like in fucking high school or whatever, you know? And then when you get married, it's practical because you're basically starting a company.

Your family's like a company. I always use the analogy with marriage. It's like when you go to one of those like oat cuisine restaurants and you're presented with this tiny, beautiful plate of food. Like that's the romance in a relationship. But then the relationship, the reality of life is all of the chaos of the restaurant. So why are you living and why are you going to make a huge life decision

based off of the plate of food that's going to be gone in two bites versus keeping the restaurant? Yeah. I mean, if you're going to write a Yelp review,

fucking involve the ambience. It's not just the food. You can't just go, hey, you know, the pate was good. You know, it was a little kind of a noisy joint.

My waiter was a little too annoying, came to the table too many times. That's the relationship. Absolutely. That's interesting. What are your three faves, cuz?

Three favorite animals? Yeah. Just off the top of the dome? Yeah. And you can't involve yourself or Zach fucking two wild animals. Can I say hyena, though? Absolutely, cuz.

Yeah? But it's like first, second, and third. So what is my beyond first favorite fucking animal? Definitely giraffe. Is one. I love giraffes. And then animal, definitely giraffe. Is one. I love giraffes. And then second, hyenas. And then third, I would probably have to say fucking polar bears.

Polar bears. Giraffe, hyena, and polar bears. So what does that say about him, you think? Well, I mean, a lot of times it's about the attributes you ascribe to the animals. But in a lot, I mean, the giraffe is the lookout. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

All right. And the elephant that I like, they have families. They grieve when another elephant dies. Really? Guys, and I'm from a big family. I'm the youngest of five. They're also surprisingly fucking vicious if you get in their territory. You ever see them flip a hip ball?

They don't care. Of the hyena with the elephant paw in its mouth. Yeah. That's a great picture. That's what happens to fucking elephants who step out of line. Yeah, hyena with the elephant paw in its mouth. Yeah. That's a great picture. That's what happens to fucking elephants who step out of line. Yeah, hyena with elephant paw. Hyenas are the ultimate reckoning of reality. They talk about...

Got it. Go to the left one. Go to that one. Yeah, look at this. He's got his full head. Peekaboo, here's Johnny. What a fucking psycho. For those of you who are not

watching we just watched the full head of a hyena inside of an elephant inside of an elephant's body yeah just eating inside that elephant is definitely still alive oh my god Johnny how about you what's your favorite I'm gonna go my favorite is dogs number one favorite is My second favorite, I'm gonna go monkeys. Okay, nice. My third favorite, I'm gonna have to go hawks. Wow, owls too you like. Owls are fucking cool.

Yeah, you like owls? Yeah. Because you look like an owl. Owls are dope, dude. That fact you told me about the organ over their eye, that's nuts. Owls have this filter, this filter of skin. It's like a shade that comes down over their eye. When they blink, you'll see it.

It's not a lid. It's over the actual eyeball without the lid. It just kind of comes down. It looks weird. The whole point of it is, through evolution, to block their eyes from blood splatter from when they kill. Because how violently they kill their prey, right? They're vicious.

They're fucking vicious. They hunt at night. Birds kill viciously because they pluck you up little by little. They just kind of like, you die slowly, you know? The bigger birds, like eagles, will kill you with little by little. Like, they just kind of, like, you die slowly, you know? Yeah. The bigger birds, like, eagles will kill you, like, with their talons, and, you know, or drop you. Like, they'll take a goat and drop it, and it'll be dead when they eat it. But a lot of those smaller birds, like woodpeckers, do vicious, vicious shit.

Eat your brains. Eat your brains out. There's a video you can see. Pull it up, Zach. We already plugged them. Yeah, you can pull it up. I mean, you can find the video of a woodpecker eating a baby bird's brain. Oh, you watched it last week?

I watched it, yeah. I mean, it's vicious because you see the little baby bird looking around because he don't know what's going on. He's just going like, what's going on? And slowly you can see his faculties just start to lose as Hannibal fucking Lecter eats his brains. Yeah. I mean, that's nature. It's pretty brutal. Yeah.

So what does that say about me? Dogs first. Dogs first. So, I mean, that's nature. It's pretty brutal. Yeah. So what does that say about me? Dogs first. Dogs first. So, I mean, that clearly loyalty is important to you. Wow. Yeah, he's a loyal kid.

He's a loyal kid. It is, wow. And friendship. Yes, wow. And I would say that monkey... What is hyena, though? You can't skip...

Oh, no. Monkeys are second. That's right. No, I detest hyenas. They're the fucking grossest things in the world. I do like them because they represent reality and the harshness of it. But I hate them. Monkeys.

I think in a lot of ways monkeys are intelligent in a way that's almost human. So it's very direct and insightful. So I like intelligence. Yeah. And then I think picking, I think like direct and insightful. So I like intelligence. Yeah. Yeah. And then I think picking a bird of prey is your third.

Yeah. Clearly you would want someone that, you know, was, was a, an aggressive, vicious person,

but in a good way, you know, a protector. Because they're loyal. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like if you disloyal,

like if Chrissy crosses me. I would never though. You know that. You'll see him in a jacket. You'll see him in a straight jacket and a fucking helicopter. Yeah. We'll be flying low, too, but not too low so it doesn't kill you. Because if I ever cross you, I couldn't deal with the guilt.

I'd kill myself. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'd do. No, yeah. Apparently, in this study, the third animal was the hardest for people to think of. So who they look for in a partner was the hardest. Some people couldn't even think of a third. What was your third again? Polar bear. Polar bear. What the fuck does that mean?

Fucking fat white women. Jesus. Do you like somebody that if a teenager crawls into the cage in the zoo, they'll get eaten? Yeah. Were you old enough to hear that story? Prospect Park? Yeah. Where that kid crawled into a polar bear? Yeah, a kid snuck into the zoo with his friend and then crawled into the

polar bear enclosing and he got eaten by a polar bear. I want to say this right now publicly, and I don't care that this is going to be up forever in posterity. If you get out of your car at a private reserve where animals are allowed to roam free, or if you climb into a fucking zoo cage and you don't get eaten it's a little disappointing yeah it's a little disappointing to me personally yeah i'm saying that right now yeah exactly it's fucking you and you know they should let it happen don't shoot the animal except for that little kid who fell in that's the zoo's problem

that they don't have a fucking thing where they don't allow kids to fall. No, they shot the gorilla. And everyone was upset about the gorilla. People voted for him for president, Harambe. That's why Trump won. I mean, look, you got to shoot the gorilla at that point. But then you got to blame the zoo. It's like, how do you have a fucking zoo where a kid could somehow fall in? Yeah, it can't do it.

I mean, it's not like someone dropped him in. He slipped through some bars and fell into the fucking. When I was like six years old at the Bronx Zoo, I didn't go into the lion's den, but I climbed over like a wooden fence and was in over like where you're not supposed to be. But what the Bronx Zoo did is good. Because if I would have just climbed over, I would have been eaten by lions and killed for sure because I was just a wild little kid. There was like a huge like 10-foot ditch that separates the lion. So the lion could have easily jumped over the ditch. He could have actually done the Lord's work.

Absolutely. He got close. But like I remember that's what I was scared of is the ditch. I didn't want to fall into the hole. But I was like looking to pet the lions. Well, you should add to the list. You go back in time and make that a reality. That's going to be one.

That's true. Yeah. Throw me right into the lion. Chris, you know that polar bears actually have black skin. Really? Great. They're maverick. Maverick?

I didn't know that. I love polar bears. Polar bears are underneath the white fur? Yeah, underneath the white fur. Wow, they're biracial. They are. Yeah. I didn't know that.

That's interesting. That's a history, a hyena fact of the day right there on the potty. That's a cute fact. The HHFOD, the history, hyena fact of the day. there on the potty. That's a cute fact. The HHFOD, the history hyena fact of the day. Guys, thank you so much for all your support. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Be a part of our channel. Be a part of our community.

Jenny Babes, thank you so much for coming on. We totes preach. Absolutely. We're going to come on. People find you on what's your Instagram, social media, if you want to give that shit out. Yeah, sure. You can find me Twitter and Instagram at Jen underscore Bagakis, B-E-G-A-K-I-S.

Hell yeah. You were a great guest. Great guest. She's going to come back for the Patreon episode. Yeah. You'll be on for the Patreon. And you're moving to New York City. Eight months.

Yeah. You were a great guest. We'll have you back. Seriously, we will. If you ever need history content, i like to find moments of what i call historical hilarity that's great nice that's what should name the fucking podcast she already made it better she did yeah she's gonna be our resident and i guess that's our policy now look if you're a fan out there even if you're contemplating killing us contact chrissy

he'll he'll figure out a way to get you in here yeah i told jen the address immediately i was like here it is like i said i, I'm a polite-looking white woman. Nah, bro. Fucking Rafael DeLuca looks like he's... Rafael DeLuca, he looks like a psychopath, but I invited him right up. Nah, he's a cute kid. He's a cute kid. And fucking shout-out to DeLuca. Shout-out fucking Krista Teacher. Just

emailed me trying to get me Mets tickets. You're a fucking psycho. I fucking love you. TBP Trulu Psycho. Shout-out Krista Teacher. Always a good friend. Thank you so much. All the support. Everyone who supports us. We really appreciate it. Hy fucking love it. TBP, True Blue Psycho. Catta, Krista Teacher, always a good friend. Thank you so much for all the support. Everyone who supports us, we really appreciate it. Hyena's out. ស្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.