History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 160 - The History of C-Sections is WILD!

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas are back for another WILD ep about baby making and the history of childbirth! Did you know that C-Sections were not named after Julius Caesar?The Cuzzies discuss who was at Jesus' birth, women using chloroform as an anesthetic, and that when Marie Antoinette gave birth it was a public event!!! Make no mistake the boys are going undercover, tucking their pseudo penis’ back and celebrate how dope yaaas Queen women are when giving birth!Where you born a C-Section? Are we headed towards another wave of baby boomers because of all this banging in quarantine? Tell us about what you think Cuz !Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay. You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, everybody. We're coming in hot. I'm Chris DiStefano. It's Giannis Pap papas welcome to our thai cam yeah i was about to say welcome to the only podcast that deliberately has unflattering camera angles that's how we do it we want you to see our fucking thigh meat and our double chins and um we're going to do an episode today it's going to be wild it's going to be all about the

c-sections because make no mistake we're going to talk about uh pregnancies and babies because Yanni's about to have a baby. And also, so are you at home probably because you definitely had unprotected sex in quarantine. You vicious, vicious pig whore. Yeah. I mean, it's the only way for humans to get to the planet. The only way for humans to get to this planet, they can't go through an alien side door. Right. They can't will it into existence.

You got to go. You got to swim through Fumari to get here. That's the only way. You got to get. go through an alien side door right they can't will it into existence you gotta go you gotta swim through fumari to get here that's the only way you gotta get because when you're born i don't care how clean you are when you're born you have fumes bad because because yeah and it's not even saying anything about the particular mother but i'm just saying childbirth comes with a lot of gook there's a lot of gook on you now what's what's the plan? You guys want to, what's your wife's plan? Is she going to go au natural? Does she want to have epidurals? What's the issue?

What's the plan? What's the birthing plan? The plan is I'm going to start doing fucking yoga and I'm going to figure out how to sit like a yogi. Yeah, cuz. Yeah, cuz,

but I'm not flexible anymore. It's funny when guys do yoga. It's like girls do yoga, the yoga pants are flexible. When a guy does yoga, it's just fucking weird. Should we create a Patreon to hear where we, they get to watch us try to do yoga. The yoga pants are flexible. When a guy does yoga, it's just fucking weird. Should we create a Patreon tier where they get to watch us try to do yoga? I did advanced yoga once.

It was one of the hardest things in my life, and then I had to do a rollback, and I farted in front of all the people. The yoga squeezed the fart out of me like it was the last bit of toothpaste in a toothpaste tube. Yoga is for if you're a gassy guy. If you're a gassy guy, if you're a gassy guy, then yoga is not for you.

But they actually say farting is okay with yoga. They say it's okay. So people don't judge you? Yeah, because you have to get it out. You have to get out the spirits and get it out. Well, all the women in the class, because it was all women and me,

and then an experienced yogi, all the women and me, a few giggled, I got a couple of bad looks, and my wife was mortified. Yeah. So I don't know if i was forgiven the problem with me is if i was a woman there'd be no way i could hold in

farts because if i was held into my butt then it would just come out as a queef i just one way another either my back butt or my front butt would start releasing gas because if you're a woman you'd be a stripper yeah you would be a stripper at some point in your life you would have been a stripper make no mistake this is how i know i'm a man. Because even when I'm having sex with women in their vaginas, I still just call it their front butt. So at least I'm having anal sex all the time. Because I think if you're a woman, there's a good chance, no matter how good your upbringing was, that you would have sold your pussy at some point in your life. 100%, I would have gotten into prostitution if I was a woman, regardless.

Because I'm a horny, horny kid. You're a horny kid because you're horned up. But not much anymore. For the first time in my life, the libido is going down. But here's the thing. You can't, we can't really believe that because the truth is you're wired horny. I'm wired horny, yeah. Your balls and dick are different.

I'm wired horny. They're excited and they're charged up. Well, I've told you. Because you were born with a full battery in your balls. Because I told you about my Calpris gland. No, Christy, Calpris gland. Yeah, you got a bigger Calpris gland. I got a bigger Calpris gland, which makes my glue.

And so I'm just, as I'm getting older, my Calpris gland is getting smaller. So I'm shooting more loads and becoming more. The doctor said this happened. I have like this reverse Benjamin button for my Calpris gland. Yeah. It's fucking wild, actually. Yeah, Pete, it's the truth. The truth is

you're very very fertile your sperm is very fertile i think jesus wants you to spread the seed yeah and i think you're so fertile you can even glue in a guy's ass and a baby might happen maybe might happen because the truth is you can get a you can get a piece of shit in a guy's asshole pregnant what it is because my skin is white and my balls are Puerto Rican. It's what it is. It's just horny because of my sperm. He's doing Zumba. Guys, you did cocaine this weekend. It's what it is. When you go off the rails, sometimes the only way to get back on it is to snort them up.

Wep on the morning available at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys Monday through Friday. It is the best morning show in the country and is the only morning show that has ever been done live where one of the hosts was presently on cocaine. Yeah. And passed out for, what was it, seven full seconds? Maybe more. It might have been more. I mean, because you did a show on cocaine. It's what it is because I was hammered and I was ripped and I had just been beaten the night before.

So it's what it is. And I respect you because you wanted to try something new. You want to try something different. Yeah, because sometimes you just got to shake it up. Yeah. Because a lot of these other FCFs, a lot of these just Fs who aren't fully charged like we are, would have canceled the morning show and said, you know what? I'm not going to do it.

But because we are fully charged, we have our butt plugs firmly in our ass and 100% battery life 24-7. We're doing it even though I'm on going to do it. But because we are fully charged, we have our butt plugs firmly in our ass and 100% battery life 24-7. We're doing it even though I'm on blow. Yeah. I mean, and it turned into one of the most classic episodes. Go join patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, our channel, to watch Weppa in the morning every day. Also, you know what I'm excited about?

What? I'm excited about the freaking History Hyenas face mask. It almost makes me want the pandemic to stick around just so people can walk around looking like History Hyena ninjas. I went to HistoryHyenas.com and hit the merch tag. I have a face mask and a tote bag History Hyenas tote bag coming to my house. I bought my own merch. When did we get the History Hyenas masks up there? I love them. They've been up there. Every time I look at Venetia with that black face mask on,

I feel like I'm talking to Cobra Commander. It's what it is, yeah. Because she's telling us we can't eat pizza. She's bossing us around. Oh, yeah, Venetia said we can't eat pizza. We want to get a slice from No-No's Pizza here in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, and we want to get a zucchini slice, and Venetia said, no, you're getting sandwiches.

She called us fat. She calls us fat. And I'm already depressed enough coming off the blow. I don't need you to tell me I us fat. She calls us fat. And I'm already depressed enough coming off the blow. I don't need you to tell me I'm fat. Cousin, Binky Mike, why does he always look like he just got back from Vegas and lost everything? Yeah, cuz. Yeah, Binky Mike, he just looks like John Goodman if he never made it. Yeah, cuz.

You look like John Goodman. If the movie Twins was cast with John Goodman, you would be the Danny DeVito character. Fucking Mike's just a good guy. Because you're fucking handsome, but you can't give up jerseys. Yeah. You can't give them up. Yeah, no. You used to wear them because you had a little bit of a big body, but now you're in shape

and you're throwing hands. I'm throwing hands, cuz. And by the way, we're going to make a history. I'm in this baseball jersey, okay? I just got lightheaded. I think I may go down. Yeah, cuz. I need some food. I haven't had breakfast. I'm lightheaded. Well, the pizza I just got lightheaded. I think I may go down. Yeah, because- I need some food.

I haven't had breakfast. I'm lightheaded. Well, the pizza would have been here by now. I know. But Venetia's- You got a peanut or something? Yeah, Venetia always has snacks. You need to-

Listen, anybody out there who wants to start a podcast or anybody on their show, little word to the wise is always have a woman on staff because they always have snacks and they can always take care of you. Yeah. Okay? Well, if she doesn't have sex, but she does have Altoids. Yeah, just bring us an Altoid.

So she said, you know what, Yannis, here, take an Altoid. Thank you. Thank you. Is that for blood sugar? That was the closest Vena Antifa ever came to getting on camera. You guys might have stolen

a shot of her right elbow. Yeah, that's about it. So unfortunately, yeah. So yeah, so today we're going to do the episode on C-sections, which I was present in the room for my daughter, who was not a C-section. She came out the vaginal canal,

and that was wild to watch that. So I can only imagine what it must be like to cut open a woman's stomach and take out a babesicles. Was anyone here born C-section? Nobody was born C-section? I don't even have that information. How would you even have that information? I don't think they'll know.

I think you only do C-section if there's a problem with the birth, right? I don't think you can just opt for a C-section. I think if they see Mrs. Pompous, if they see the babies turned a certain way, they'll say, you know what, let's do a C-section, I think. And then it used to be if you got a C-section, you would always have to get C-sections. But I don't think that's the case anymore. I think it still is the case.

No? No. Oh. People usually do get C-sections after their first one. And sometimes it's been more popular to have C-sections because some women don't want to have their babies vaginally. That's very rare. Yeah. But's very rare. Yeah.

But it is something. A lot of people also believe that Beyonce did not have her baby. That's what we were talking about. A lot of people say celebrities don't do it.

They always have a surrogate because they don't want to mess up their beautiful figures. Let's talk about that on Conspiracy Cuties only at patreon.com slash beverage boys. I'm screwed in.

Fucking show off. Yeah, we got a lot of conspiracies. Because, make no mistake, we're living in Tel Aviv. We cracked the case. Okay, Schultz? We cracked the up. Yeah, we got a lot of conspiracies. Cuz, make no mistake. We're moving to Tel Aviv. We cracked the case. Okay, Schultz? We cracked the case. Yeah, it's what it is, baby.

Yeah, so a lot of people think- Cuz, if you sit like this, are you just giving away that your penis isn't as big as it should be? Yeah, yeah, 100%. If you sit like that, Cuz, here's the- Let me see. Cuz, you're not wearing your glasses. So, you're under- I can't see anything right now.

So, let me get the glasses right now. Yeah. Let me get the glasses. Okay, let me ask you first of all okay first of all i want i want to ask chrissy d your opinion on what's your opinion on on on on on the new on the new policy that uh democrats want i'm asking chrissy d now before i give you the glasses got it got it what is your uh what is your position on the policy that says that the taxpayers should pay for illegal immigrants to have legal representation if they're committing

a crime? I would say that I'm out there every single day working my ass off. So my tax money, if it's going to go to anybody, it's going to go to an American citizen, not some fucking MS-13 dirtbag. If they want to fucking come over here in this country, they could climb the wall and see if they get in. If they could get past Texas over here in this country, they could climb the wall and see if they get in, if they could get past Texas with a fucking shotgun. Okay, so that was your answer.

Now, I want you to go undercover, and I'm going to ask you again. Christopher, what is your position on the new policy proposal by the Democrats that everyone should have legal representation? It's part of our principles as a country to have legal representation, no matter whether you're naturalized or not.

So everyone, even those accused of crimes, should be able to have representation. Okay, first of all, I appreciate your question. Thank you very much for that question. I do appreciate you taking the time to ask me that. I want to start off my answer, preface everything with saying black lives matter. I want to tell you that black lives matter. Trans black lives matter. Every life matters. But only if they're black.

So I just wanted to say that to you, and to the camera. With that being said, I do think that Emperor Casio Cortez has put forward a nice plan on what to do with illegal immigrants who do need taxpayer money in case they begin into a crime that was most likely caused by the white patriarchy. I would say that you would listen to Emperor Cortez's response on that. I don't have the information right now. And I would say that also Czar Bill de Blasio,

our Czar Bill de Blasio also is doing a great job in New York City. I've heard that crime is going down. And yeah, I appreciate that question. I just want to say Donald Trump is an orange pig. Absolutely. Intersectionality, paradigms, yeah, patriarchy. I do want to say yes. So that's, yeah.

Because you cannot see. I mean, I was trying. The thing was it was hard for me to come up with things because I had a headache right now. And Bubba, it's like your eyes are so close together because the lenses. I mean, I was trying. The thing was, it was hard for me to come up with things because I had a headache right now. And Bubba, it's like your eyes are so close together because the lenses. I mean, yeah. Because sometimes when I look forward, I see my nose. Yeah. I can see my nose when I'm looking at people.

That's how close my eyes are together. Yeah, because that was a really good character piece. Thank you, because it's a character piece. We're going to do it every day. We're going to just keep switching off. But yeah, Bubba, listen, there's a lot of information with C-section. So it wasn't named after Julius Caesar, which I didn't know. It wasn't named after Julius Caesar, but was the Caesar salad named after Julius Caesar?

No, that also wasn't named after Julius Caesar. So what's named after Caesar? Just a Caesar haircut. Just a Caesar haircut? Yeah. Just a Caesar haircut? You look Franks and Beans if you have a Caesar haircut. I do.

It's a Franks and Beans cut. The Caesar haircut's named after Caesar and Caesar Hugo Chavez. Got it. Hugo Chavez. Because if you're a guy, you can't have bangs. That's not what you... You don't want to be the woman who says, this is my boyfriend, he has bangs.

No, but you know what's... You're absolutely right. It makes you look Franks and Beans, but what's weird to me is that it seems from like ancient Greece city-states, the Pericles era of ancient Greece, all the way to like the end of Rome, for some reason, the Caesar haircut was like the money. It was like not one gay guy was like, push those back and grow out those locks. But cuz, how did the Caesar haircut,

how did they even, did they have scissors back then? Cuz, how did they cut hair? I think it started with like one of the first freaking powerful Caesars probably had just receding haircut, and he just pushed it forward. Yeah, we're looking at- And that was that. Everyone just started pushing it forward.

We're looking at pictures of men with Caesar haircuts right now, and Zac Efron just popped up. I mean, is there a more gorge man than Zac Efron? He's got a new Caesar haircuts right now, and Zac Efron just popped up. I mean, is there a more gorge man than Zac Efron? He's got a new show on Netflix right now where he's just walking around making believe that he loves everybody, and he doesn't. I mean, I'm sure he does, but it's like all, you know, celebrity bullshit. But he's just, I mean, so handsome, it's frustrating.

Yeah, he's, I don't know if women like that look, though. He's too perfect looking, right? Is he too perfect, Vanity? What do you think about Zac Efron? Do you remember him like that or no? You guys's too perfect looking, right? Is he too perfect, Vanity? What do we think about Zac Efron? Do you want me to do that or no? You guys like mistakes in faces. You like manly stuff. You like a scar here and there.

You have a protruding forehead. They love that. Yeah, because I was thinking about this the other day. It's like working out and getting in shape is the gayest thing we do because we're really only doing it so other guys think we're good looking because women don't care at all. No, they don't. Women couldn't care at all no they don't women

couldn't care at all if you have a little bit of what you can't be 400 pounds but if you got like a little bit of a gut but you have a good looking face and you work hard it's like that's fine but a guy would be like oh look at your tits but like girls don't care like yeah it's just a guy not really they i think it's like confidence humor and then somewhere down the list, maybe 20th or 40th, money and success has something to do with it. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Just maybe.

On occasion, I've noticed. Just a few times, I've noticed that that is something that's attractive to women. Yeah. Money. They don't care if you got beer guts and fat nipples. No, they don't. Do you care if a guy's got a little weight on him, a little dad bod or a gut, or do you think it's cute? It depends.

Depends on his skin color. Wei Zhong Zhen. Yeah! Because it's Wei Zhong Zhen there. People know we're kidding. They know we're joking. Let's get back to the notes. Yeah, let's get back to the notes. Yeah, no, because there was very because, you know, and by the way, I just want to say, I have my glasses

on. I'm going undercover right now. I just want to say, when I don't have the glasses, I just do this, and then you know, and by the way, I just want to say, I have my glasses on. I'm going undercover right now. I just want to say, when I don't have the glasses, I just do this, and then you know I'm undercover. I just want to say, with this episode of C-Sections, I am very happy and thankful that we do have a woman's voice to tell us certain things. Because as a man, a member of the patriarchy, I do not know the first thing about childbirth. I do not know the first thing about child rearing. And I thought it was very vitally important to have a woman, specifically a woman of color. That's why we have Venetianisha here. She has on

her black mask. And she's in blackface today. So she's... So she is here to give us the advice that we need. You know what's funny about feminism and feminists? They always want guys out. We want you out. Get get out get out of my space get

stop mansplaining stop talking except when it comes to pregnancy when a woman is pregnant they want you to say we are pregnant yeah we are pregnant have you noticed that they want you in on that and it's like what i'm not i pregnant. How come a white- Let me worship you, queen. Let me ask you this. How come a white feminist like a Karen, a white staunch feminist, why aren't they white nationalists? I feel like that's a white supremacist if you're a white feminist.

I feel like you are a white supremacist if you're a white feminist. Wei Zhongzhen. Am I wrong on that? I don't know. I was going undercover. Sorry, because I stopped the artist. Just Wei Zhongzhen, I just-

I didn't quite understand. Did you get that? What is he trying to say? of like like i'm just saying like if you're a white feminist aren't you like a why aren't you you're being like a supremacist in a way you're saying like because your skin color is your skin color and you're saying females are above everything and and you're white so it's like you are kind of a white supremacist it's a good now i understand what you're saying if you're going to be a feminist, you should just exalt black women. Exactly. Then you're not a white supremacist. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

It got a little rough there. It got a little rough, but you fucking sailed it home, babe. I sailed home. Chrissy finds a way. You sailed the fuck home, but that's why I think Venity is leaving. Venity got up and has left the set. Shouldn't Sean King and Rachel Dolezal

actually be revered by the black community because they're taking away their own white privilege and living black? Yeah, I guess. I guess they could be. If we all did that, if all the women became Rachel Dolezal and all the men became Sean Canning

and we all just turned black, there would be no more systemic racism because we'd all be black. That's a good point. That's a good fucking point. And since reality's such suggestion,

who's going to tell me I'm not black? 100%. I'm fucking black. So am I. So there we go. We just solved white supremacy on our podcast.

Absolutely. Yeah, exactly. That's what it is. And Andrew Schultz solved it the moment he met Charlemagne. Yeah. So his podcast has been black from that moment on. Yeah, the food's here, and guess what? It's not pizza.

It's not pizza, yeah. And I'm so hungry I want to pause the podcast and eat, but we're not going to do that because Mike Cannon's going to send a letter to the truffle pig. Yeah, we're not going to do it. We're not going to pause it because this episode's going to send a letter to the truffle pig. Yeah, we're not going to do it. We're not going to pause it because this episode's going to be great to see if Yanni can stay conscious through it.

I got low blood sugar. The Altoids helped a little bit. We're going to need to scroll down on the notes a little bit if you can, just a little bit. Yeah, because some of these notes are fucking seducer. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Yeah, go down a little bit. Thank you very much. the first recorded case of a mother surviving a c-section surgery was in 1580 in sigershausen switzerland where jacob

neuffer which is close to another word who was a pig elder is said to have performed the operation on his wife when her labor was not progressing so in 15 1580 in Sugarhausen, Switzerland, that's the fucking first C-section. Is that wild? Wow, so 1500s? But I thought there were C-sections in ancient Rome. No. Oh, they didn't call it a C-section. No, but what happened, B?

Yes. They didn't call it a, no, but why? B's saying she's here for my historical fact. What? There were, that's the earliest C-section in ancient Rome. They were, they happened in ancient Rome. How? They would just cut it out.

I don't think. But they died. No, but the C-sections in ancient Rome was a religious thing. I thought if the mother died during childbirth, they would cut the baby out for religious reasons. They wouldn't let the baby dead inside the stomach. Chris is technically right. And he's also a doctor.

I got a doctorate. You got a doctorate degree. I mean, because Dr. Ford, too, is also a doctor. Yeah. What was she a doctor of? I don't know. Because if you're a professor, you're called doctor. It's stupid.

How long are we going to continue to do that? It's very dumb. I mean, how disrespectful to a guy who goes 15 years, does a residency, can actually help you if you're sick, that you're called the same thing as a person who wrote a paper on sociological issues. Yes, Blasey Ford was American professor of psychology at Palo Alto University.

Okay. So, yeah, so I know it's very confusing because even being a physical therapist, it's like, yes, I'm a DPT doctor of physical therapy, but to introduce myself as doctor, I always thought was misleading, but I didn't know.

It was interesting to see like the, the students that I was in school with, like they couldn't wait to call themselves doctor. It's like, well, you have a little bit of a, you know, you got an inferior complex.

You got, you're a little insecure because you're trying to make believe you're a doctor. When in the truth, you're really not. Right. So I felt very uncomfortable. If a patient ever called me doctor, I would correct them and be like, I'm not a doctor. I can't do blood. It's a very strange thing. My mother got a doctorate in law and she wanted to be called

doctor. And I was like, you're a lawyer. I don't understand. That's very confusing. It's like calling someone who's a doctor who gets a degree a lawyer. I would just say, I would write, if I'm signing a patient's note, it's Chris DiStefano, DPT, not Dr. Chris DiStefano. Yeah. You've gotten handsy with a lot of people. I put my hands on a few people. Yeah. You put some hands in my... You know how to work something out. And you do it medically. I remember I had these little things here when we first started being friends and I asked you about them. And I was worried about them for years. As soon as you felt them, you called them fatty somethings and you said they were nothing to worry about.

I can't do the acronym quick. What is nothing to worry about quick? What do you mean? NBT, NCT. What is nothing to worry about? Oh, NBD. Yeah, NBD. I mean, your mind goes to acronyms quick.

Acronyms quick. Yeah, NBD. Yeah. We haven't done that one in a while. Yeah, I felt around and I said all this is is the sockets for your butt plugs. That's all this is. That's what it is. That's right, plugged in. After you plug it in.

Every time I laugh, I get lightheaded. I need a slice. No, no, no. Don't give it to me. We're going to see if we can make it. See if Giannis falls asleep. There will be two podcasts in a row where Giannis comes in with no energy. Okay, here we go. Yeah, so back in the day in Roman times,

the delivery of a child, the C-section, they would cut through the walls of the abdomen when delivery cannot take place in the natural way as was done in the case of Julius Caesar. But we're finding out that Oxford English Dictionary is actually wrong. Julius Caesar was not born via C-section. A lot of people say he was born via C-section. People think he was born via C-section and then his mother died,

when in fact, none of that is true. His mother was alive until about 10 years before Caesar was killed, and he was probably just given, he was probably birthed a normal way. So I don't know, I don't think people know why it becomes a thing. Yeah, well, I think what happened is the story of Caesar's birth was confused with the story of Jesus's birth. Right. Because Jesus was born by C-section because his mother got banged out. That's what made him a baby. Well, no.

Well, Jesus, well, yeah. And again, as we talked about on Weapon in the Morning this morning on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, I need to, if I'm going to still be a member of the Catholic Church and pray to the Virgin Mary, Mother of God, and Joseph, I need to know that she gave Joseph consent. And what happened? What was the story there? And does Joseph need to be canceled for sexual harassment or not? Right.

And was he deadbeat dad? These are intersectionality questions that totally need to be explored. Yeah. And let me tell you something right now. Joseph, no matter where you are, I'm reaching back into history, far back into history, and I'm saying you are on notice. Joseph is on notice. Joseph is on fucking notice.

She's absolutely on notice. We're out here putting people on on notice. Joseph is on fucking notice. She's absolutely on notice. We're out here putting people on fucking notice. And honestly, I'm not too sure after looking back to the Bible and reading certain things and looking back at certain paintings. I'm not sure if Mary should have actually been named Karen. Yeah, I'm not sure. I mean, she's giving birth to people who ended up calling her baby white and putting images of that person with a white face and a white beard. And so, Karen, you're a nudist. You're a nudist.

It's very interesting to me, Mary and Joseph, how the three wise men, whom only one was black, so not very culturally diverse. One was black, white, and accept their gift first before the other two members of the white patriarchy. And I just want to know where that was coming from because, you know, I forgot what the, I forgot the gift

that the black man gave. So I will absolutely flog myself for that. I'll say it again. Jordans. Oh, Jordans. What is wrong with that? I mean,

black kids love Jordans. They love Jordans. Yeah. What's wrong with that? Because, make no mistake, the black wise men gave Jordans and the black wise men gave Jesus a pair of Jordans. They love Jordans. Yeah. What's wrong with that? Because make no mistake, the black wise men gave Jordans and the black wise men gave Jesus a pair of Jordans

and then they gave Joseph a copy of his mixtape. Way Jong Jan. Way Jong Jan. We're just kidding. We're just kidding. It wasn't a copy of the mixtape. It was a prepaid for Patreon membership to Flagrant 2. It's what it is, cuz.

It's what it is. Yeah. I mean, because you get the highest tier membership at the Brilliant Idiots, that is what the fucking Wiseman gave Joseph. Yeah, the second and then the other. First of all, I didn't know there was one. I didn't know there was one black Wiseman. There was one black Wiseman.

Was there really? There's one black. Yeah. So it was. Is that true? No. Yeah. It's a black guy.

And then the other one, I think there was one white, one black, and then the other was in the Mesh Patel, I think. Way John John. He was a Sandra Dee. He was a Sandra Dee. Yeah. Wait. So one of the think there was one white, one black, and then the other was Nimesh Patel, I think. Wei Zhongzhen. He was a Sandra Dee. He was a Sandra Dee, yeah. Wait, so one of the wise men was black? Yes. We should do an episode on that.

On the black wise man? What was his name? I don't actually know. What was the name? Do we know? It'd be really funny if he had a really black name like Jenkins. Yeah. I don't know what his name was but whatever it was I do

respect and I do think it's beautiful Jamal way John John Roy Stefan I don't know what is though I don't know if they had names cuz cuz the story never happened it's all made up so you can actually make it whatever you want whatever name you want cuz Bubba's it didn't happen Jesus yeah this is not real it's not real it This is all made up. It's based on Egyptian lore, which was also not real, based on the sun god. Yeah, and you know what? Because it's the worst.

None of it's real. It's to control poor people, and it's very, very necessary. It's very necessary, and I will say right now that I want to cancel the three wise men because I'm not so sure what gender they were. I don't know what they're identifying as. They're the three wise people to me because how do I fucking know that they were identifying as men in that moment because we one can make the argument by how wild we are on this podcast being the history hyenas that we're actively being social justice warriors because we're trying to cancel our own podcast we're trying to cancel our own pockets what it is we got a little bit of heavy editing to do on this one

so just be careful with some of the things you said. But yeah, make no mistake, when my mom would put out the nativity set, she would have out the three wise men and baby Jesus and Mary and the donkeys

and one or two of those wise men went up my butt. So it's what it is. And then I'd stick it back in there and make believe nobody noticed. But whenever you see a nativity scene on a lawn, you never see one of the black wise men.

There's never a black wise man. Well, that's racist. That is racist. see one of the black wise. There's never a black wise. Well, that's racist. And should that is my mother had the black wise. And that's why I know my mother had the racially diverse, culturally appropriate wise men. So she did. Shout out, Mom. I hope Larry's OK. I didn't know that one of the wise men was black.

That's great. Here we go. So the term cesarean is actually derived from the Latin word cesis, meaning to cut. So it's just kind of folklore that it's from Julius Caesar. It's not from Julius Caesar. Orange Julius, the drink, is from Julius Caesar, though, which is a good drink. Yeah.

Right? Yes, I think it is. And Julius the comedy booker, who also has a street team, I think he's named after Julius Caesar. He's named after Julius. And I think Caesar salad is named after Caesar. No. Oh, it's not.

Caesar salad was named. Oh, Orange Julius is not named. It's not named. Oh, yeah. What is named after Julius Caesar? Can we find out what's actually named after Julius Caesar? July. I know Kaiser and Tsar.

So Kaiser and Tsar are versions of Caesar. Okay. He became known as, his name wasn't Julius Caesar. Caesar just meant like the emperor. Yeah, his name was Gavis. Oh, wait, his name was Caesar, right? And then everyone just became called the Caesar after his name? Yeah, exactly.

Right. Exactly. Yeah. So his name actually was Julius Caesar. He was the first dictator, emperor of Rome. And then the following Caesars were just given his name because he kind of founded the position. Is he getting canceled, Caesar? Huh?

He might get canceled, Caesar. Because Caesar got fucking canceled by Brutus. Yeah, that's what it is. Brutus stabbed him yeah let's go bruti let's go back to the notes because i like what i thought was go down a little bit go down just a little bit a little yeah here we go queen victoria this is what i like queen victoria this bitch yeah she used chloroform as an anesthetic drug during the birth of prince leopoldo in 1853, and this paved the way for its use in the C-section. So what I thought was, is Queen Victoria basically chloroformed herself.

She basically used like something in a serial killer used to knock herself out for childbirth because before then, women, the pain associated with childbirth goes all the way back to Adam and Eve, or Adam and Steve, whatever. No, no, no. It's Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve ate the apple. That's why women are evil, and that's why it's painful when they give birth and that's why they're they're lesser and not as smart as men that's okay so that's it that's that's how we that's

the history what is wrong with the truth so so it was very interesting that for a long time the pain of childbirth was just the you know it's just god's punishment for them eating the apple it's what it was yeah it's what it was so this is what, now you're in pain. So it was really not until 1853 that it was even considered that, hey, maybe women shouldn't be going through pain with this, which I thought was awesome. I mean, because look, she used the chloroform, which knocked her out,

and then women would also drink a mixture of alcohol and oatmeal, which sounds like something I'm going to have for dinner tonight. Because, make no mistake, I'm going to eat, I'm going to have some alcohol and oatmeal like I'm going into a C-section tomorrow morning. Yeah, I mean, your alcohol consumption is creeping up slowly. It's creeping up. It's said that they would do this for pain management and postpartum recovery and partially do with a preventing infection.

Cuz, that's what I always thought about, is when you see your baby being born, I kind of think about, like, how the fuck is this not infected? I mean, they rip through the vagina. It's fucking wild to watch. And they had no anesthesia back then, nor did they have any antibiotics. Yeah. So what was the percentage of women that would die in childbirth?

High, high. It was high. Bro, children, if you made it to five years old, it was like a big celebration. Kids used to die all the time. Yeah. What I heard, this is a fact that I heard from a scientist recently, which blew my mind. It wasn't actually that people technically lived shorter, that much shorter, like to 25 or 30, obviously, depending on the area and time, if there was disease around or whatever. But it was the average. The reason why the average life expectancy

was so much lower was just like you said, because most children, not most, but some didn't even make it to five. So that pulled the average down. But that's why, that's why like- So a lot of people actually did live to 50, 60, and 70. That's why like the average life expectancy of a man I think is 75,

a woman might be 77 to 78, but you still, you as a human being still are likely to live into your eighties because the average still is born down because of a baby is born and still born. Then that counts as a minute's old and it, it has to factor into everything. Yeah. I didn't really consider that.

That's why statistics are all misleading bullshit. That's like, you know, people are saying that Trump's losing in the polls. Yeah, right. Um, women,

women also used to bake a cake while they were in labor and called it a groaning cake because they believed the smell of cake along with the work of baking it was thought to ease the discomfort of labor. So that's fucking crazy. I mean, cuz, I would get girls pregnant just to eat their cake. Yeah, exactly. I just want to eat their groaning cake, cuz. Yeah, I mean, cuz, when royalty gave birth, it was like a public event, too. I know.

It was a public event. Look, they said when Marie Antoinette let them eat cake, famously said, in 1788 when she gave birth, 200 people were in attendance, cuz. Now would be a good time with the world being shut down for your wife to sell some tickets for your childbirth. Let's make that a hiatus event. Yeah, let's do it. Was she mad to sell some tickets? Yeah, let's do it. Cuz we got no loot coming in. No, let's do it. Is she now to sell some tickets?

Yeah, let's do it. Because we got no loot coming in. No, let's put it in a portrait. Because of the goddamn Eastern Hemis. So if she can get

two hundo in there, I mean, I think we can get three hundo in there. Let's charge five bucks a head, we'll make some cash. Yeah, I mean, if we can do the childbirth outside

and make it a Soul Joel event, I think we can squeeze 400 socially distanced people in there. Why don't we do that? We'll have your wife

come in, we'll have your wife take a. We'll have your wife. She, we take it. She gets a percentage. And then we'll have people gambling on the outside, like a Vegas casino on the gender and all these types of things. And if it's going to have hair,

if it's not going to have hair, if Yanni's going to pass out, if he's not going to pass out, we're going to just figure all that shit out. And we can make some real money. We can make some real money. Wow, we're going to sell tickets to that. I mean,

what we just told people is an interesting fact too. I mean, royalty, because the baby was like a, it was like a national conversation about what this baby was going to be. This was an heir

to the throne. This was the baby that was going to rule over the people. That it was actually a public event. So does that mean people used to just watch

and just look at the, at the prince, the princesses or the queen's vagina and watch it come out? That's what it is. Yeah, we have a picture up right here that we'll post alongside right now

what we're looking at. And yeah, it's just a picture of a crowd going around with nice fucking chairs. They look like they're from West Elm, but I don't think West Elm was invented in 1786. No, no. Those could have been Ikea, though. Because you're sitting like you're giving birth right now.

You are propped up, cuz. You got your feet on those stirrups. Cuz, yeah, I think those chairs were been Ikea, though. You're sitting like you're giving birth right now. You are propped up, cuz. You got your feet on those stirrups. Cuz, yeah, I think those chairs were from Ikea. I'm just trying to do yoga. Yeah, cuz. Also, baby showers, which, by the way, I told you I can't go because I cannot go to your baby shower because I'm doing shows at the Stress Factory. And your wife is making me send the invitation anyway. Saying no, even though she could just listen to the episode and get my response.

invitation anyway saying no even though she could just listen to the episode and get my response because women just they just just make it difficult they make it difficult women said we can't have pizza yeah so so okay so it's interesting the first baby showers um before giving uh birth a royal woman would receive a blessing and be paraded through the streets as the public wished her well. So they would just say, hey, congrats, congrats. Then she spent a month confined to her bedroom where she belongs. And a period, they called that lying in. And her chambers were covered with tapestries and made dark and warm to replicate the environment of the uterus. So, yeah.

And regular women did retreat from the public as well. So that was the uterus. Right. So yeah. And regular women did retreat from the public as well. So that was the royal treatment. But regular women, if you were just a regs girl, they would retreat from the public. If your parents weren't cousins. Right, right. And it was normal for a woman

not to return to society until six weeks after the baby. So she would usually miss her own baby shower because after you gave birth for six weeks, you would not come outside because you were thought

to be dirty, both physically and morally, and I agree. You know what it is about history? Generally, people were fucking stupid. Stupid and mean. Fucking stupid and mean. They were meanies.

Bubbies. Because history is full of meanies. I mean, Bub, scroll down a little bit. Some of the dumbest things I heard, like even with gender, with gender stuff. Can you go to that? Yeah, the gender. Here we go. Look at look at this until fairly recently people believe that a baby's

gender was determined at birth like just add magically as it's coming down the birth canal it just gave you a dick or a puss like it just just threw one in there so as you and then many theories have existed regarding as to how to control the baby sex so women would be encouraged to stay in bed for the weeks leading up to birth to improve their odds of having a boy, which is just, I mean, that's fucking nuts to me. But that's what I want. That's interesting.

It's like, so I always think about that because the top scientists and doctors of the day back then with all they had thought that this was true. They also thought the earth was flat. They also thought the sun, the earth was flat. They also thought the sun, the earth was ascending the universe and the sun revolved around us. And it's like, I wonder what we think now

that 200 years from now, I'd be like, remember when they thought that? Like how stupid they were? So what are we, I was trying to think like, what are we doing now that's fucking stupid? Probably thinking that Biden's gonna win the election. I agree. Yeah.

We're gonna look back at history, but boy, were they fucking stupid again. I agree. I also want to add, because we said today on Weapon in the Morning at patreon.com slash frayridgeboys, that I believe Ruth Bader Ginsburg is dead. I believe Kim Jong-un is dead.

And I believe we said a third person was dead. Melania is dead. Melania Trump is dead. She has not been seen for a long time. But I also want to add to that, that I believe Joe Biden is dead as well. I believe that he's dead, and he's just,

somebody's pushing buttons and just having him say things. I think that you're- When's the last time you've seen Biden's face? You only see him with the mask dead and he's just, somebody's pushing buttons and just having him say things. I think that you're. When's the last time you seen Biden's face? You only seen with the mask on. He's been, they haven't even, I mean,

they haven't really trolled him out. No. I mean, that mask is a fucking, it's a, it's a recording device. Cause that guy is dead, dead,

dead. Yeah. He is just not with us at all. It's what it is. So yeah, people were fucking stupid back in the day. They were fucking stupid. They, so they had these baby showers. This is how the baby, we just told people back in the day. They were fucking stupid. So they had these baby showers.

This is how the baby, we just told people how baby showers originated, which is pretty cool. And then finally women realized, you know what, let me get some free shit during my shower too. So let's set up a registry because fucking Bed Bath & Beyond,

yas me. Yas. I mean, for me, going to a baby shower back in the day would have been hard because I don't think they invented gift cards yet. Because I'm just a kid, I just get you a gift card.

You're a gift card type of guy. Because I'm fucking GFC gift card Chrissy. What did guys used to do? But you know what? That's a very guy present to give gift cards. What did guys used to give as presents before gift cards? I don't know. I honestly have no idea.

Pack of cigarettes or something? Yeah, like I'll literally, man, like for like a nice, nice, nice occasion. Like I'll buy my mother a fucking thousand dollar gift card. I don't care. I just don't want to get anything else. I just want to put a G on the gift card and say, my love, you know, I love you. Here's a gift card to food town. I actually. Yeah.

I mean, I think maybe we've probably it could have slowed down our progress as a species that there weren't gift cards. So men had to actually use some of their mental power away from progressing humans into figuring out what the fuck and get you as a gift. Because I'm telling you, if I got to waste 2% of my time, besides getting you a gift card, thinking about what you want, I'm not doing other stuff, which is saving humanity. I'm Jesus. I'm back from the dead. Let me just tell you one thing and one thing only. Your head is light. Your shorts are tight.

And your shoes are white. Cuz, that was a fucking good poem Cuz I'm rhyming I told you I'm black Cuz yeah my head is small Is that what you mean by light? No cuz you said You're gonna pass out You're light headed

Oh light headed Oh okay Yeah but you do have a peapod head I do got a tiny little Beetlejuice Cuz you got tight shorts on And white sneakers I do

Yeah But you see This is how shorts are supposed to fit. No, I know. I mean, you know. My fucking thighs were bust out of those. Yeah, you just, if you put these on, it would look like you were turning into the Incredible Hulk. Yeah, it's what, yeah, my thighs are just, yeah, they're fat, fat thighs.

I got childbearing hips. You might as well just start wearing, like, African dashikis. No, I'm going to start wearing boomboos. Yeah, because when your wife goes to motherhood maternity store tell her to pick me up some pics yeah alright go down cause there's some

other interesting things but yeah here we go midwives we gotta talk about midwives oh yeah let's talk about midwives midwives have always been around yeah

and they've always been women but I think nowadays I want it would be cool to have you can have guy midwives right you should be able to have a guy midwife and we're going to mid partner

yeah we just partner it's gotta have more of a you can have guy midwives, right? You should be able to have a guy midwife. And we're calling a mid partner. Yeah, we just partner. It's got to have more of a neutral name. I think midwives is sexist and I want to cancel the word midwife. I'm going to say that here on History. What could we call it? A mid? Midhusband, mid partner.

Well, no, a mid partner, a mid person. We're trying to fucking actively dismantle the patriarchy. Stop using patriarchal terms from the past. Yes. Let's think of new stuff. Oh, by the way, it's a new word that got canceled today.

What was the new word that we saw that got canceled? Oh, hilarious. You can't say hilarious anymore. You can't say hilarious. It's toxic. Hilarious is toxic. And we're going to change

our name to History Her Story. We're on notice. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just call them skittle butts. Yeah. Instead of midwives,

they're skittle butts. Skittle butts. Yeah, this is not called History Anis anymore. This is not called hysterianies anymore. This is called Michelle Obama. Just name this podcast Michelle Obama because it's just a neutral name. Everybody loves her. It's called Her Story Matriarchal Hyenas.

Oh, yeah. You can't call girls. Here's the new things you can't call women. You can't say hysterical. Right. Here's why. Although the word – okay, here we go back. You can't call them junkie crackheads even if they're doing meth.

But here we go. But you can still call them bitches. Bitches, here we go. Although the word is also used to refer to things that are funny, the problematic use of this term stems from it's true, it stems from it's used to describe women. The word hysterical derives from the Greek word for uterus, okay? It usually gets tossed around as a description for emotional women

and feeds into the sexist stereotype that women are naturally or biologically crazy historically the team stems the term stems from female hysteria which was once a common medical diagnosis for women um which was described as exhibiting a wide array of symptoms including anxiety shortness of breath fainting nervousness sexual desire irritability loss of appetite, sexually forward behavior, and a tendency to cause trouble for others. Well, then I'm hysterical. It is no longer recognized by medical authorities as a medical disorder. So hysterical is out.

You can't say it. You can't say your woman is acting hysterical. But hysterical has the meaning of it's changed now. It means if you mean funny. If you mean it's funny, right? If hysterical means funny. Someone's hysterical means they're funny. They're saying it's okay to be used mean funny. If you mean funny. It's funny, right? If hysterical means funny. Well, they're saying that. Someone's hysterical means they're funny. They're saying it's okay to be used for funny.

Oh. When you call a woman hysterical, it's like not good. We're going to talk about that. Let's talk about that tomorrow on Weapon in the Morning. Let's talk about the words that have got canceled, and we're going to try to use them in a sentence and then say goodbye to them. Fucking, I love these fucking word Nazis. Yeah, I love it.

There should be a company called Word Nazis. Well, let's make it right now. Should we do it? Yeah. Let's fucking do Word Nazis for friends. The word must be yours this way word nazis with friends yeah um yeah let's scroll down a little bit yeah okay here we go a brief history of birth control in the u.s so birth control which is make it snappy because i don't give a fuck yeah it's it's just interesting what i thought around 3000 bc uh crete which your mom is from, right? Or your dad's from Crete.

Well, Veneti is from Crete. Well, Veneti is from Crete. And my mother's from Crete. So Crete and Egypt, they began developing condoms made from animal and fish bladders or intestines and linen sheets. Now, guys, I've put a fish bladder on my cock a time or two, and I don't think it works. No, but this is interesting that even back then, they knew that they wanted to have recreational sex and not just procreational sex. I think recreational sex is a fucking absolute.

Isn't it part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs where sex is number one. Sex is in the first tier of things. And Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Oh, no, Dr. Ruth. Sorry, I got my Ruths confused. How about Queen Ruth? Yeah, Queen Ruth. Dr. Ruth says that you Ginsburg. Oh, no, Dr. Ruth. Sorry. Sorry, I got my Ruths confused. How about Queen Ruth? Yeah, Queen Ruth. Dr. Ruth says that you should be busting as many nuts as possible.

Absolutely. You know what was weird? What do you think your belly button's for? Because my daughter, I've thought about this. My daughter is just basically all the accumulations of times I jerked off that didn't become her. That's what it is. So it's like if I had jerked off one more time more or one my time less she'd be a different person absolutely and cuz make no mistake she's getting the bottom of the fucking

tank with your glue because you're 55 years old so she's getting the glue that's just at the very bottom so make no mistake the only the thing that i'm believing in the most and hanging my hat on the most is the power of mrs poppins's uterus is going to make that baby great. Because make no mistake, you gave her the bottom of the barrel of your glue. I did. Yeah. And I think maybe, look, I think, because here's a fact. Here's a history hyena fact. Most women enjoy lesbian porn.

Yes. I think they enjoy lesbian porn because it takes the pressure off of reproduction. You don't have to worry like, oh my God, oh my God, don't make a baby. Don't make a baby. This feels good, but don't make a baby. Don't make a baby. This feels good, but don't make a baby. Don't make a baby. So I think homosexuality, if you look at like,

if you look at like pygmy chimps, they're the most peaceful mammal. Because they can have sex with everybody. Because we just need to become gay. Well, how about this? There wouldn't be any problem. Would there be any marital problems at all if it was okay

to have sex outside of your marriage? If that was just a thing that was okay, what would really be the, what would, why would anybody get killed? Why would there ever be a problem?

If, I mean, serious, if you look back in history, anybody that's ever killed their spouse, it is always 100% jealousy over someone else. If you remove that

completely, you would have so much, so many happy people out there. And I don't think the divorce rate might go to a full zero if you allowed people to have sex outside their marriage. Well, maybe homosexuality can solve those homicides because if you ask your woman, I've always asked every woman I've been with, I've been like, would you rather me hook up with a guy or a girl?

And they always say guy, which is weird because then that means I'm gay. But women are so jealous of other women that they would rather you go and bang a guy behind their back than a girl. So maybe if women are okay with that, maybe we should just start banging guys and women just start banging women. Because at least then we could watch. 100%. And then everyone wouldn't be jealous. I'm agreeing. I think I just solved marital issues and put a bunch of marital counselors out of business it's what it is yeah go gay i got no farts in me

because i got no food in me i'm lightheaded you're lightheaded because in 1850 bc egypt developed one of the first spermicides by combining crocodile dung and fermented dough so there you go they eat spermicides i mean this is all, the first rubber condom isn't produced until 1855, but they were fucking had spermacidal lube in 1850 from crocodile shit.

So they figured out how to kill sperm. They were actually seeking to figure out how to kill sperm so they could fuck more. And that was 1850 BCE. Is that before

or after Mountain Dew? Because Mountain Dew killed sperm too. Yeah, BCE, that's before Christmas. Yeah, before Christ, I don't know what the E is, but it's BC. Existed. Common era. Oh, they changed that. Oh, they changed that.

That's right. Yes, because Christ, yo. Oh, wait, we forgot about that because that excluded people who don't believe in Christ. Right, right, right, right, right. It's before common. Thank God. Now, what are these sponges? Oh, this is a contraceptive sponge we have up right now. Because Greeks love sponges. If you go down to Tarpon Springs, it's the biggest

Greek community in the United States. Where is it, Florida? In Florida. It's all Greeks and they used to go down there and get sponges and sell sponges.

Yeah, I've been there. I've actually been there. Yeah. Tarpon Springs because my dad just moved down over there. is going to go to find a husband.

She's going to be sent there by her yaya to find a husband and her yaya to be sent there by her yaya to find a husband. And her yaya is okay with whomever she meets, except for a few ethnicities. Yeah. No, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine. Yeah. Tarpon Springs, it's the biggest Greek community in the United States? Really? Bigger than Astoria? Yeah. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that right now. It's going to be Googled right now.

I didn't think that. Okay, but listen, hey, we learn something new every day. Let's just close up here because I want to get to the end of this because Yardbitt Springs, wow. Yardbitt Springs isn't just a fucking stupid kid. New York is even on the list. Planda Manor, like, where's Planda Manor? Because who the hell knows, but I'll tell you this about Greeks,

there's not many of us at all right there's not a lot I think there's one million Greeks in this entire fucking country so it's hard

because you're like the Hasidic Jews it's like there's a chance you're fucking your cousin you don't know if you continue to keep it within

the Greek community there's a chance your baby's gonna be born with one eyebrow and that's what it is cause when you call yourself an inbred, it's funny. I am an inbred kid.

I mean, who looks like this and is not inbred? Yeah, yeah. I look like Governor George Patterson or David Patterson. David Patterson. Yeah, because I put my glasses on and look how it frames my eyes

and separates them just a little bit. Just a little bit. Yeah. Okay, here we go. And we would be remiss if we didn't talk about some of the newer words.

Intersex is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male for example a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside but having mostly male typical anatomy on the inside so i'm male typical anatomy on the outside female on the inside you're into i'm intersex you know you have an intersex spirit. Right. Right, because you do have cock and balls. Yeah. But your spirit, you're-

My spirit's RuPaul. Your spirit's a lady, man. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, your spirit is doing a drag show in Thailand. Because it's very, very hard now. Like when I see like a really hot, like 10 out of 10, 12 out of 10 gorgeous woman, my first thought now is she's a guy.

Yeah. She just enhanced herself through surgery. Well, yeah, to me, you know, it doesn't matter. I mean, look, that's the great thing about trans women. It's like if you're into women, but you don't want to have a baby or wrist at, then just, you know, have sex with a trans woman. And then if she's pre-op, just pretend like your penis is so big you pop through the other side.

Solution. I agree. I come up Solution. I agree. I come up with solutions. I agree. Okay, you don't like meat? Fucking eat fucking Beyond Burgers. Absolutely. I agree, guy.

Lower your cholesterol. Trans women, lower your cholesterol. I was not vegan this weekend. This is not politically correct stuff that I'm saying. Yeah, but we're good. It's not a politically correct podcast. We never have been. It's because it's either going to be edited out or put on the comic cons.

Or just throw us some fucking Wei Zhong Jin's. Can we bring back the Wei Zhong Jin button? We're not bringing back Zach Isis. He was bad at his job. Wei Zhong Jin.

That's what it is. But the people I've been asking, oh, V wants to talk real quick about the baby boomer generation, which I think we're going to be in one now. The baby boomers.

Because, make no mistake, I mean, what has happened in quarantine is you're going to have a lot of baby boomers. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of baby boomers. I just want to also give a shout out to Zach because he's a nice kid. Listen to Scary Kids.

He's a good rapper. What is that? Is that his rap group? It's his group. Him, The Squeak, and then a third kid. Okay. Yeah, the third kid. I mean, look, The Squeak, let's just be honest with Scary Kids.

Yeah. Zach is Beyonce, okay? The Squeak is the other one. What was the other one? Kelly Rowland. So we got Zach is Beyonce, okay? The Squeak is the other one. What was the other one? Kelly Rowland. So we got Zach is Beyonce. The Squeak is Kelly Rowland. And the third one is Michelle Williams.

The third one, you're getting dropped. Yeah. At the end of the day, Zach Isis is going solo. Yeah. Zach Isis is going to go solo. What can you do? The Squeak is going to fucking join Debo and do Bags of Jet Blue. Yeah.

It's just what it is. So, yeah. So we're coming into a big baby boom and it's going to be very interesting it's going to be very interesting to see nine months so i i guess christmas there's going to be a lot of kids born around christmas time this year because the quarantine kind of started in march we got shut down in march at least in new york so you know december january we're gonna have a lot of babes coming into the world yeah and just intersex people they're very rare but there are people who are born intersex who have both anatomies, right? But then what do they, but would you know?

Like, could you be having sex with a person and you're actually having, on the outside you're having sex with a woman, let's say, but inside they got a dick and balls? No, I think intersex means you're actually born with, like, both anatomies. So it's like some people, that isn't that... That is intersex. That's a cheesy word. Yeah. Oh, so...

Is out, so we don't call... It's a bad word. Canceled. I'm sorry. So intersex is... Intersex is... I love this fucking meaningless battle over words.

It's so... As if like bad people won't just think of another fucking word. Bubble wobbles because... Who gives a shit? I'll tell you who gives a shit. Because now special needs has become a pejorative.

Yeah, when they say he's special. So just leave language alone and let it happen organically. Because it's Russian and Chinese dividing and conquering from within. I mean, anything that's a controversy that isn't really a controversy, it's Russian and Chinese. I guarantee you even the Washington Redskins, the fucking thing to change their name is coming out of Moscow. 100%.

They're fucking winning the war because we're beating ourselves. Absolutely. And what Chris is saying is 100% right. And let me just tell you something right now. Like I said, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys for all of our content on our channel. We're going to Conspiracy Cuties is our new series. The first one we put up on YouTube. The next one we're doing on the Tim Dillon Show.

Tim Dillon is working for the Russians and we have fucking gotten to the bottom of it. Absolutely. All right. So there you go. So if you're at home pregnant and you're going to get a C-section, please video it and put it on the community board. Yes. At Patreon.

And if you're out there, if you're pregnant right now, congrats. And yeah, so we hope you learned something about C-sections. And now, as we do always at the end of every episode we read the newest members of the matriarchy the people went to patreon.com slash very rich boys and join the matriarchy to get all our exclusive content and feel part of the family we like to read their names and we always encourage you to make a funny name uh and then you get to be on our list our ppw or pseudo penis of the week so and let's just give a special shout out to a guy whose voice needs to be heard he complained on the patreon uh we were told about it from venetia and mike who who they maintain our patreon page and the guy's name i gave him a drexler he which but listen that i don't know who won that particular list okay but

it must have been someone good but let's give him a shout out because he's right he deserves it then what is it venetina vena ant? Vena Antifa. Vena Antifa. You're one of the best names of all time. Your name is so good. That's what we call Venetia now. Yeah, Venetia now has been renamed Vena Antifa. Yes. Congrats to you.

So we're sorry that it might have been a victim of a bad read, but your name is Vena Antifa, so congrats. Yeah, it may not have even been me because the kid got angry at me. It could have been you gave him a bad read. Yeah. Who knows? Yeah. So here we go.

So let me just fucking load these up. Hold on. Okay, while you load these up, I just want to issue a disclaimer, public service announcement. We are sorry

as to men that we covered C-sections, pregnancy. We hope you learned something. We're doing it because we're listening, we're listening,

we're listening. We've put ourselves on notice and we're listening and we want to learn more about the female anatomy and of course by female we mean anyone who identifies as female not just people who were born with that sex sex and gender are different we are checking all the boxes um and that's right here we go mike is getting a sex change to fulfill our quota absolutely yes absolutely and we have two women on staff because mike identifies as a woman.

And by the way, I want to let everyone know that we have, in fact, defunded ourselves. So we did that out of respect to you guys. So we defunded ourselves. We defunded ourselves, but we definitely de-escalated the situation. We de-escalated and defunded. I'm Chris DiStefano. Here we go. Here we go.

Okay, you ready to go? Yes. Oh, by the way, this is, yeah, so this is something we want to start this list off, and this is, we want to actually encourage people to do this later, a really nice idea. She bought a patron as a gift. We want people to buy gifts for their Honey Bubbles. So if you've got a Honey Bubble that you're in love with, buy a gift for them. Patreon is a great, great gift.

And this first one is, happy birthday, chopped cheese love baby bubbles. I love that. Chopped cheese, that's a Dominican delicacy from Washington Heights, from the Bronx. Chopped cheese, if you're from New York, you know what a chopped cheese is. And that is a very, very nice gift. So here we go. So that was beautiful.

And I wanted to say happy birthday, chopped cheese, love, baby bubbles. So you call this a baby bubbles. So that's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And if the guy's nickname is chopped cheese, it means he's a fat fucking kid from the Bronx. And Baby Bubbles is funny. And then, so that was really nice. And then let's, yeah.

And then the next name is Nicky No Dick, who sold his piece to the East to help boost the trans fans. You know where he goes. Yeah, he goes on the list. The ones that don't even make me laugh are so good, I'm stunned by them. Yeah. Then we got Litney Houston.

Then we got AJ COVID Ruins. Wait a second, wait a second. Wait, Litney Houston? Litney Houston, like Whitney them. Yeah. Then we got Litney Houston. Then we got AJ COVID ruined. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait, Litney Houston? Litney Houston like Whitney Houston. Yeah. No, it's not good enough, but it's okay. I don't even know what Litney means.

I thought it was something good. What does Litney mean? Like lit. Oh, Litney Houston? Fucking Drexler. Yeah, that was my... I'm remiss. I'm remiss.

Here we go. Yeah. AJ COVID ruined seeing Chrissy in Boston, so I got tickets to fly to Zany's and DL ruined that. It's not meant to be, babe. Okay. Here we go. Sorry about that, AJ.

It gets to Drexler just for the fun of that. Then we got Fernando Trazolvinia II, Eric Pruitt. Then we got Gagey the Guinea Goomba. Drexler. Then we got Chrissy Bruise My Cooch because he's an eight-inch moose. Then we got John, Mike Glazer, Eric, Kyle Calamari,

a.k.a. Major Mojito. I love Kyle Calamari. He's going to get a Drexler. He's going to call himself Major Mojito. Major Mojito is a Drexler. Then we got Robert News, Chubby Balls, B-A-W-L-Z. Chubby Balls is funny, but... You want to throw him on the Drexler? It's an NIT tournament.

It's not getting on the list. Okay, I'll get it. All right, that's an honor. Chrissy threw you on the list of the Drexler. Drexler. Then we got Sand Monkey with a cut piece and cute feet. We don't condone it, but it deserves to be on the list. Okay, this one we got.

It's all caps lock. One word. I'm going to try to give this as best read as I can. I've got no hands and no feet. How much will you charge me to beat my meat? Inventive creative points gets you a Drexler. But this is a Drexler strong list. I'm going to call this fucking list the Portland Trailblazers.

This is the Portland Trailblazers. Hold on. Because I got my alarm went off. My alarm to take my birth control went off in the middle of this. Okay, here we go. So here we go. Okay, then we got Johnny Fumeless, aka Crumbum. Shout out to Frank Rizzo. Then we got

Jens Linkavist. Then we got the rigorous Frankie Fettuccine. Then we got Colonel Cupcake Cracked Open Cuddling Cock and Couching Cum. He goes on the list. Then we got Mr. I, Cracked Open, Cuddling Cock, and Couching Cum. He goes on the list. Then we got Mr. I.C. Wiener.

Okay. Then we got Non Toot, New York City Iron Worker Brute, Didn't Wear a Cover, Now the Safety Girl from Job is My Baby's Mother. Fuck Local 3, RuPaul 2020. Yeah, I mean, that gets on the list. Yeah, on the list. Then we got Joseph Arch. Then we got Jesse, make no mistake,

because I want to tuck it back like Lieutenant Lollipop Chrissy and eat tacos with Giannis because that's what we FFs enjoy. Okay. Very good. Then we got DJ Mizop. Then we got Scarlett Villatoro. Then we got Keon Chrissy, please fill my prostate like a $3 bill till 3 Esprit.

Okay. It's more of an offer. Offer. There like a $3 bill till 3 Esprit. Okay. It's more of an offer. Offer. There you go. Then we got Cody Ladd, Matt. Then we got Giannis. His wife doesn't wear makeup around me. Cuomo is a homo.

I don't know what that means. Cuomo is a chomo. I think he's saying he's trying to say he's banging my wife and he's a Republican. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Then we got call me $3 Bill Buckner because I'll spread my legs for your balls. I mean.

On the list. On the fucking list. Very, very effective. I mean, that is Jesus. That's going to win. Call me $3 Bill Buckner because I'll spread my legs for your balls. So V doesn't know. Bill Buckner was the guy who famously let a ball roll through his legs on the Boston Red Sox

and the Mets won the World Series because of it. I mean, it's over. It's a win for him. Well, we'll keep going. It's always nice. I hate when that, I feel bad for the people who come after, but that's the nature of life. Sometimes you're lucky. Sometimes you're not. Depends on where you fall on the list. This is what a Clyde Drexler means because Clyde Drexler played in Michael Jordan's shadow.

So it still means you're good. It's just you just weren't as good. Caleb Zaloga, Mike. Then it says, I'm a factory and Chrissy's a... I'm a factory and Chrissy is a retired horse. I'm going to crack them open and make some glue. Here we go. Thank you. Then we got Tony Smokes,

pulls through holes when the wife's not home, DeCinto. See, I mean, let's throw them on the list anyway because the list, it doesn't matter. The guy's winning Buckner. Then we got Amir Perez. Then we got Auschwitz Guard 1754. We can't say it.

We're moving past that one. Yeah, we're moving past that one. Then we got Patty, I Can't Catch AIDS Twice Conway. Very funny. Deserves to be on the list. Throw him on. Then we got Max Werderman, M. Niespo. Then we got Rob French.

Then we got Yanni P.ats olives off Chrissy D's feet While beating his Greek meat It's on the list On the list Then we got Henry Simpson Then we got another random Connor Sampson Christopher

Make no mistake Alexander the Great was Macedonian Plus I'm here because my last daddy Was a petty Jan Alkowski He just wanted to say that he was Macedonian Fine, he was Macedonian I don't give a shit. Then we got Michael Schnabel, Daniel Pfeiffer, Adam Lee Bowers,

Gabriel Nieves Ponce. Then we got Chris Lagusta, El Pito. Then we got Willie P., not gay, but make no mistake, Chris, he responded to my DM when I was moving the monkey, and I came faster. Then we got Emmy, up to $10, because I'm a Franks and Beans cock. Appreciate that. Thank you.

Matthew J. Scholes. Then we got Caleb, the sperm bank night janitor who took. Wait. Caleb, the sperm bank night janitor who takes. Who take. Show me the extra. Baba Ganoush.

I don't know about this. It's all one word. It's tough. You just you try too hard. Then we got Wanna More. Then we got Salma, A No Fumes Sandra D., but make no mistake, Chrissy D. can crack open the Middle Eastern P. Praise Allah.

There we go. Then we got My Cousy Who's a Muzzy, drinking smoothies with the cuties, changing gender like the weather, says Ladder 14. Go fuck yourself. I I mean that's on the list obviously yeah then we got bluegrass monkey with nuclear fumes daddy says don't vote democrat

on the nuclear fumes is funny very funny I mean it's on the list but they're all gonna lose then we got then we got Keely Ravi Kanyas Jane Hooker Sam, Sam Neimer, Tyler Kennedy, Sid Batson, Kareem Abdul-Fumar. Wow.

Somebody's giving a run for their money. Wow. Kareem Abdul-Fumar is getting clubbed. Wow. Put him on the list. We got a game now. Now we got a game. I didn't see that coming.

Kareem Abdul-Fumar. Somebody fucking hit a three with two seconds left, and it's tied up. Yeah, then we got Laney Huminek. Then we got Maddie, the Irish Cousy, to Adolph Lady Hips and the Saziki Sauce Monkey Swain. Somebody call me Adolph Lady Hips. Drexler.

Then we got Yeah Yeah Guy straight to the back. Okay. Then we got Lukasz Kuziminski. Shane McCullen. Then we got Cuck and Tuck. Pixel Packet. Then we got Cuck and Tuck, Pixel Packet. Then we got Father Bill fed me a pill, and when I came to, I was coated in glue.

It's on the list. Then we got Flap Face, Oh Clown Feet, Frankie Max, Lisa. Then we got Jared, Not Sean, Alexander. Then we got All Day, I Dream About Squeaks, Brian. Zachary Dalton Markle. Steve becoming a non-tude for the Daily Chance to get a view of Chris Yoriani's glute shoot or glue gun, Smith. Drexler. Glute shoot is funny.

Yeah, it's a Drexler. Then we got Dan Caulfield. Robbie, Bobby, no doubt, Swallow Rope, so babies come out. Then we got King Dolezal Tanning Salon. Screwed in. Then we got Yanni Marquis de Sade's FF Cum Sock Pappas. Then we got Austin Odelin, dot Austin Odelin. Then we got Hardcore FCF, who's heading straight to the back

because I'm just here for the content in the Mesh 2020. Drexler, Drexler. Thomas Ryan. Then we got Steel Pipe Chrissy it is what it is Issy Yaskuz then we got Charles McBride

DJ then we got Tanner my dad evaded my taxes last year so now he calls me by my prison name Sweet Meat Mitzel

then last but not least we got Greek Florida Squeak Chasing Bugs Like a Fumigator very funny the last one's Drexler I'll give the last two Drexlers just cause Then last but not least We got Greek Florida Squeak chasing bugs Like a fumigator Very funny That's The last one's a Drexler

I'll give the last two Drexlers Just cause I'm Just cause when something's Such a clear Horse race I'll give them out I'll give them out Cause they're not winning

Doesn't matter So but To be clear It's between V Who are two finalists It's between Call me $3 Bill Buckner

Cause I'll spread my legs For your balls Wow And Kareem Abdul-Fumar Wow Kareem Abdul-Fumar Is like a chicken finger It's between call me $3 Bill Buckner because I'll spread my legs for your balls. Wow. And Kareem Abdul-Fumar. Wow. Kareem Abdul-Fumar is like a chicken finger. Because it's between a chicken finger and a creative banger. Wow.

It's like what? Wow. Could we just give it to both of them or is that how it works here? We can do that, but that would be, I mean, I think everyone's on the edge of their seat right now. I think this is where we throw to a vote. Here's what you have to think about, now. I think this is where we throw to a vote. Here's the choice. Here's what you have to think about, though. Bill Buckner is a white guy.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a black guy. So who do you want to side with and what do you want to do right now? That's a good point. You know what I think we're going to do on this one? These two are two of the best names of all time, in addition to Vena Antifa and also there was the sauce. What was the garlic slicer there's a bunch of there's home runs there's a bunch of we're gonna get a hall of fame together we're

gonna get a hall of fame list but for this one i want to try something different because this is such a fucking neck and neck race we're gonna throw it on patreon and let you vote for it yes and then next week we will let you know who wins based on who you think is better between those two fucking bangers there you you go, Bubba's. Thank you, guys. Turn the AC on. I'm fucking dying out here. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.

ChristyComedy.com. Stress Factory sold out. Thank you guys very much for that. And then August 29th, we'll be adding a show in New Jersey in Monmouth next to the Count Basie Theater. Tickets going on sale soon. So get ready. Thank you guys so much for watching.

We hope you loved it. Don't forget to click subscribe and turn your alerts on. And go to patreon.com slash payridgeboys for more fun where things get really fun.