History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 170 - Tom Segura look alike was the Original Shaun King! WILD!

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

This week the HYENAS rip into the story of Clarence King who was some WILD Tom Segura look alike who lived a double life. He had a WHITE family in one part of town and a BLACK family in another. Why is history riddled with insane white people CUZ?!?! The boys also break down Jessica A. Krug AKA Jess La Bombalera, Shuan King, and Rachel Dolezal. THIS EP IS GONNA BE A TIGHT ROPE WALK STRAP IN!!!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

what's up everybody welcome to another episode of the history hiatus chrissy d yanni p today we're tackling race today we're tackling race again you know we like to just this is this podcast okay if we were circus we're tightrope walkers you're tightrope walkers yanni's feeling a little confused with white walkers white walkers Yanni's feeling a little... Not to be confused with white walkers. White walkers. Yanni's feeling a little under the weather. I've been sick for about a week. Homeless parents have the antibodies. This is a COVID

podcast. Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure I got COVID from Chrissy, but it's okay. If Chrissy's body handled the COVID and then gave it to me, it took all the bad parts out. Yeah. Kept it in Chrissy.

And mine is just a cuddly COVID. Cuddly COVID. I hope I don't have COVID. My wife is pregnant. What are your symptoms? My symptoms are my head's a little tight. Okay. And I just feel a little...

Feel a little yucky. You came in yesterday saying you felt a little yucky. Yeah, yes. I'm feeling a little worn down. But today I feel a little... If I was to describe yesterday saying you felt a little yucky. Yeah, yes, I was feeling a little worn down, but today I feel a little, if I was to describe it, I would go, yeah.

Did you try to take any meds, any DayQuil? No, no, no. I tried to stick my, I went in the bathroom just now and stuck my thumb in my butt, just give myself a little pep.

Yeah. It didn't work. Usually it does work. I just go a little pop and then it pops me right up. Do you have clothes here in the apartment or what do you do?

I don't know, cuz. I don't know. You just I don't know what I'm- You just wear the same thing every day. I wear the same thing every day. I'm wearing the same outfits. I just masturbated about 16 times last night. It's what it is. Come on.

I mean, who knows? You know what I mean? Who knows what I'm doing? Your fucking pizza box took a beat. Cuz, it's 1025. Should we order some pizza? Let's order some pizza. Let's order some pizza.

I took a walk down by the water. How great is the water? I masked up because let me tell you something. And I'm only going to sneeze because I just put saline expression in my nose. So it got. Yeah. It's just water. I don't want to sneeze because I don't want to let it fly.

But let me tell you, nobody's social distancing in Bay Ridge at all. No, because it's a fucking Democrat disease. Way to go, Jen. No, because it's a fucking Democrat disease. Way, Joe Jen. There you heard it right there. Nobody cares about it anymore here. Periodically through our episodes, you can see a little bit on WEPA Wednesdays we just did yesterday.

Chrissy has been doing little parts of his RN speech, RNC speech. Yeah. That he was supposed to do at the RNC convention, but he couldn't make it because of the baby. He's been doing little clips of it throughout the episode. Yeah, it's what it is. Fucking Nancy Pelosi's getting her hair done.

It's what? She got her hair done in San Francisco. She got caught, and she said she got set up. Set up, yeah. The barbers at Panache Salon said they would love for Nancy Pelosi to come in here, that they would do something real nice with her hair. Yeah, they would take a buzzer, and they would go, eh. Yeah, they'd shave it right off.

Fuck out of here. Because we got an interesting history hyenas episode. This is a good one today. Today, we're going equal history, equal hyena. Yeah. You never know what you're going to get. There's logos everywhere. Chrissy's got a logo shirt on his logo here.

And lift your arms for a second. And we got deodorant stains on the side that means chrissy put on his deodorant that happens to me sometimes then put on your shirt and it gets caught on the way down and it's also women's deodorant i'll have you know yeah cuz so today's episode apartments back in the market just it's back on the market and i'm listed now at 5 15 so if you so if you want i'm trying to squeeze out an extra 20k yeah if anyone wants to buy an apartment it's back on the market. Who knows for how long?

Yeah, so it's a novelty item. If you want to get an apartment for 515K in Bay Ridge, beautiful by the water, contact me, DM me. If you want to live next door to a Chinese woman who at the beginning when Chrissy bought it just wandered into his apartment and took a look to take a peek.

Yeah. Which by the way, remember that time when she just walked in? Yeah, and I haven't seen that woman since that day. I'm pretty sure the guy next door to me

has killed his wife. It's probably true and nobody even follows up on that because you know what? They're out collecting cans. They're out collecting cans. Yeah.

What can you do? I mean, they've really cornered that market, let's be honest. They collect cans. It used to be like old white homeless guys. It used to be like and then the Asians just took it over. The Asians took it over. I mean, they've really cornered that market. Let's be honest. They collect cans. It used to be like old white homeless guys. It used to be like, and then the Asians just took it over.

The Asians took it over. I mean, that market is cornered by Asians, and it seems like they all are over 65 years old. Well, it's interesting because the spectrum of Asians is wild. Either they collect cans or they buy apartments in fucking cash. Yeah. So it's one or the other. There's no in between asians no it's just like us we they don't make a lot of sense you can't put your finger on them just like you

can't put your finger on us yeah you can't do it you go gay for a year just for the material 100 would you do it for the experience 100 yeah isn't it a little bad that like people don't do like that would be great if just for one year you and i'm gonna choose to live as a gay man yeah just to get some new experiences so I can have some new jokes. Everybody wants to live in this black and white world where I want to live in a gray world where if I want to be gay for a day or a week or a year, I can do that and get a husband and have property with him and do anything like that. And if I want to go back to being straight, I'll just go back to being straight.

Well, it's funny you say that because the subject of our episode today wanted to live in a black world and he lived in a white world. Today's episode is about some may know him as Clarence King, some may know him as James Todd. It depends if you were his black friends or his white friends. This is a wild, wild, wild tale, my friends. Yes. Of, as Chrissy said, a kid who said

you know what? I'm in the last quarter of my life. I always loved black and Native American women. I fell in love with a black woman. I'm going to lie to her, create a false identity, tell her I'm a black kid, and I'm going to bang her out, make five kids, one of which died,

and I'm going to live a double life as a white man in Manhattan and a black kid in Queens. Because if the thing is, one of which died, and I'm going to live a double life as a white man in Manhattan and a black kid in Queens. Because if the thing is, here's the thing, because Clarence King, he died over 100 years ago. But if I would have known him, he would have died anyway. Because make no mistake, if you're Clarence King, James Todd, and you walk past me, I was going to take a bite out of you. Because one thing I can't resist, black and white cookies. This kid was a black and white cookie. Well, he was white. I mean, he's white.

He's got blonde hair and blue eyes. So he was white. Yeah. Clarence King, not to be confused with Sean King, who, by the way, when we get to the story, I believe that Sean King, Sean Jeffrey King, stole Clarence King's story. And that's why he named himself Sean King. Clarence King's story and that's why he named himself Sean King. Clarence King, he named him after Sean King. Sean King named himself after Clarence King because King is not his family last name.

Why not? I mean, his real dad was, well, I don't know if it's his real dad, probably. The dad on his birth certificate is a white man named Jeffrey King. Allegedly. No, no, no. That's what's on his birth certificate who knows because he fucking also said that he was a victim of a hate crime and there's no record of that yeah there's no record of the hate crime absolutely zero there the police report there is a police

report of an incident but that police report lists him as white yeah it says it was a fight between two students yeah actually sean king should at some point be brought up on federal charges for inciting race stuff and he actually he actually is like a real like devilish criminal sean sean king because rachel dolezal and clarence king it was kind of they didn't really mean to hurt anybody they were just doing it we'll get into the story of clarence king they were just doing it for love and but sean king is actually exploiting people and causing harm so i i want to see a world where sean King gets brought up on charges. It's interesting, too, because Sean King has that story of a hate crime where he said, you know, he missed a year of school.

He had multiple back surgeries. There's no record of any of that in his school or the hospital. And interestingly enough, Rachel Dolezal, well, he says he had that hate crime happen to him, and that's when he chose blackness after that because he was like, all right, that made me black or whatever, which is an interesting story. Rachel Dolezal also made up – she was sending letters to herself like Jesse Smollett did. Yeah. Jesse Smollett was sending those hate crime letters to himself.

To himself, yeah. Rachel Dolezal did the same thing in a P.O. box, which she only had the key of, but the letters would go into there or whatever. She was sending hate crime letters to herself. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And she like burned a cross on her own lawn or whatever. So, but back- Because do you ever think,

you ever think about like a lot of this is just like entitlement, meaning like, you know, people feel entitled for like a lot of reasons. It's like you have to, because we live in such a world where there's so opposite end to the spectrum, either you need to be a fucking superstar and feel entitled that way, or you need to be a victim and feel entitled that way. So I feel like if you can't live in the middle anymore and just be an average person, it's like average in especially American society is just not good.

So these people that feel insanely average, like a Sean King, like a Rachel Dolezal, like a Jessica Krug, who we'll talk about all three of them, and maybe even like in a way Clarence King, although we'll get into the Clarence King story. He did it for love. people, because they can't feel just average and mediocre, they have to pick an extreme and say, I'm now going to be a victim of race stuff as like a sense of entitlement of to say, I deserve something too, because I can't just be mediocre. You ever think of that? I do think of that. I think it's tied to the American dream. I think it's tied to what America markets, right? Like you got to make something yourself. You got to be some, we, we look down on, on the middle class on average people in like other countries people feel okay with having a job everyone here feels like they have to be a rapper

a celebrity or something it's just like those lives aren't great but it's marketed like you have to be famous even extremely rich and wealthy and famous people most of their day is average yes so no matter what no matter which way you escape try to slice it whether you're a victim you want to play the victim in the race card and i'm a victimized by everything and you're on tv for a minute being like i'm a victim most of your day other than the little part you're on tv you're average same thing as fucking drake most of his day besides when he posts or does the concert at msg leading up to that it's pretty average he just wakes up in a hotel or his house

has breakfast like everybody else brushes his teeth does some other bullshit and then for two hours in the day one whatever he does a big concert but most of drake's time is just average so everything even if you get to the pinnacle, LeBron James right now, yeah, yeah, he has a playoff game tonight and he has practice before it, but the rest of it is just average bullshit sitting around thinking of shit to do until he's got time for the practice of the game. So we're all average.

There's no question LeBron James wakes up, right? He jerks off maybe, he jerks off like a regular, like at the restaurant. 100%. He'll be like, you know what, let me just rub one out. Yeah, looks at some Instagram models, probably dms them under some fucking fake account yeah and then he goes downstairs he has breakfast or whatever and then he farts i mean lebron james just farts he takes a nap he talks to his kids yeah no so what you want what these what people

who look at oh i want to be successful i want to be celebrity i want to be this what you really want is you're they're all everybody's average You can't, you can't escape being average and you can't escape suffering. So I think as human beings, more focus on how do I deal with being average and accept it and how do I accept suffering?

Because from fucking Jeff Bezos being the richest man in the world to the homeless guy who eats his own shit, they're both suffering. It's just different forms of suffering happen for different reasons. But you can't escape either one of them. And even even bezos he's got all the money in the world but many parts of his day are just very average so it's just like i don't know what people

want this illusion that's why i'm kind of happy the kardashian show even though i know it's already ripple effects and all that and it's not like it just goes away but i'm kind of happy it's had its time and now it's moving on because it's a little bit like celebrating these extremes of you got to have this and the big ass and the big tits and this and that it's really like it fucks with the our psyche so much because the truth is we're all mostly average and we're all going to suffer and you can't escape either one of those and the people that do i think they go to an extreme either you become donald trump or you become fucking Sean King and either way,

either I'm gonna be noticed because I'm a victim or I'm gonna be noticed because I want to be president of the United States. But it's all just trying to escape the fact that you're fucking average and you're gonna suffer. Yeah, and everyone just talks about race, race, race, race,

race all the time. Me and Chrissy are a couple kids. I mean, I just, I know we share that in common. I just can't wait till we get to a place where like not everyone's thinking or talking about, who gives a shit? I don't care.

I understand there are certain color lines that have been drawn and we're historically systemically racist country. Of course, all that's true. Hopefully in the future, you just won't think or talk about it that much because it truly doesn't matter and a lot of it is kind of made up because we get to this point in america where you can see

that the society continued to try to control yes where black people are yes so you got to understand that that is true systematically yes this is a racist country there's no way around it because in our research we learned they kept kept designating what made you black. Because they wanted to keep you black. And it made you lower. So if you had one grandparent, it went from Octoon to Quadroon to Mulatto. Octoon means one-eighth. One-eighth.

One great-grandparent was black, so therefore you're black. And then Quadroon, what's that? Because you're good at math. Four. Four. So you had two. Whatever it was, it means you had a black. And then Quatrune, what's that? Because you're good at math. Four. Four. So you had two great- Whatever it was, it means you had a black ancestors at some point. Yeah, I don't fucking know.

But it's interesting because the story of Clarence King is he loved black women. Here's another thing, too. What you have to understand is about average and about suffering, yes, but everybody does almost everything, or maybe everybody does everything for puss or dick. Everybody is looking. We are motivated. Or sometimes both.

Or sometimes both. So we are motivated. Or black and white cookies. Exclusively by sex. Sex, sex, sex. So Clarence King, who was born into a wealthy white family, by sex. Sex, sex, sex. So what Clarence King, who was born into a wealthy white family, had an

unbelievable job, was friends with some of the most prominent politicians of his day, white hair, blue eyes, loved Native American puss and he loved black puss. He didn't like white women, even though he had a few white kids, he didn't like them. So one day, in the late 1800s, he's walking through, I want to say Central Park, even though it had a few white kids he didn't like them so one day in the late 1800s

he's walking through i want to say central park even though it's not such a park riverside drive something like that oh riverside park riverside park or down by the water i mean he's in new york taking a stroll he's taking a stroll by the water taking a stroll by the water by the water so the late 1800s he's taking a stroll by the water and he walks he sees this woman ada copeland who was a fucking black piece like candace owens who was a fucking black piece who politically had some nice opinions um he was a she was a piece even though clarence king was a a prominent white geologist he actually was the first director of the united states geological society uh geological survey which still exists today.

So white, white, white. He sees this black woman, Ada Copeland, and has to make a split decision. He knows him being a white man, he's not gonna be able to get with this black piece because it just wasn't acceptable at that time to do that. So he stops and sees her and introduces himself as James Todd, a light-skinned black man who was a Pullman porter in Brooklyn.

And at that time, a Pullman porter, which is the work on the railroads, was an exclusively black job. So to sell his fucking story, he says, hey, baby, I'm James Todd, and I'm a Pullman porter, you heard? Why? Do you think he went out prepared with that story in case he met a piece? Or just in the couple of moments before he approached her he was like who are you okay i'm james todd i'm a pullman porter i'm black i'm a black guy now yeah i mean he completely they always say if you want to get women lie like tell me you're a minor league baseball player or whatever yeah tell him you're rich i mean this kid he just was like hey my name's jame todd i'm a

black kid let's get married yeah and so it's interesting he could have went with a blacker name he could have been fucking raheem jenkins and yeah we'll throw throw the picture up right here of of of clarence king james todd just show just a white kid with blue eyes he's a white kid with blue eyes and and and he looks like sean donnelly if sean donnelly lost weight yeah he does yeah yeah yeah and so but it's interesting because it was because we look at him today and we say look at this white kid with blue eyes how the hell did he pass as black? How did this woman even believe him? But because of the slavery having the European roots, it was very common at the time, because it was only the 1880s,

for some white people to say that they were slaves and black because of the deep-rooted or identify as white. Black people would identify as white because slavery wasn't that long ago and it was at such your they had like you said they had one great if you had like if you were a quatroon or whatever with octoon it means you had one black grandparent or whatever you looked white and a lot of those people to pass and move up in society passed as white portrayed themselves as white similarly he used this right to say that he was black right so he used the same thing for he used the same lie that black people who had a lot of white ancestors but maybe one or two black ancestors uh to pass white he actually did the same thing to pass black he

told her hey i'm you know i got like a black grandparent or something like that right which is basically sean king now it's really coincidental that his also his name is King Sean King says he has he had a very light-skinned father that uh his mother had an affair with that's his story that's his story that's his story and he's sticking to it so it all sounds familiar so you would think like because when you know Sean King everybody of course knows he's white even though he keeps saying he's black it's like we all know and the truth will come out eventually just like rachel dolezal who that was like the big news and like how could somebody do that how could someone pretend that they were black when they were really white and then you see this has been happening

throughout history so we found a case all the way from the late 1800s where he's doing it and you would have to think it's been happening for hundreds and hundreds of years before that and it's probably a lot of people who've done it who we've never heard of. He got away with it his whole life. Right. So he didn't do this until like, this was like the last 13 years of his life. Of course, he didn't predict it to be the last 13.

But in those 13 years, he lived a double life as James Todd, a man named Clarence King. Do we think James Todd is a good black name? Is it a cute black name or a bruce black name? I think it's a good one. I mean, I was saying, I mean, if you're going to go hard, like Donnell Rawlings always told me, go hard or go home. Go hard or go home. I think he should have went blacker and called himself Donnell Rawlings.

Donnell Rawlings, yeah. If I literally, if I was thinking of this, if I had to do a black name, I would probably go with a classic one, all New York Jets player. I would go with DeBrickshaw DiStefano. That's what I would say. I'm DeBrickshaw DiStefano. Just to get back to Sean King for a second, no matter which way you slice it,

even if he had some really light-skinned black eyes, it's a real improbable story that his mom told him at nine years old. Because the official story is his mom at nine years old, Sean King, we're talking about the present-day Sean King, the activist. Can't they do his Ancestry.com now and see where his roots came from? They totally could. But he won't do it.

Of course he won't. No, he was offered by some black conservative. I think Larry Elder offered him $250,000 to the charity of your choice if you took a DNA test. Yeah, because he fucking knows. He knows that it's going to come back UK, baby. But his story is that his mom had an affair behind his dad's back. And he was the kid of that. And his mom told him at nine years old.

You're right. That that's your real dad. And is his mother conveniently dead right now? No, his mom's still alive. What does his mom say about that? She has, I don't know. But I don't know if she's alive. I know his brother died.

And then his zucchini slice. Yeah, his brother died. But tragically, rest in peace, his brother died of leukemia or some cancer. Oh, sorry, yeah. But I know if she's alive. I know his brother died. And then a zucchini slice. Yeah, his brother died, but tragically, rest in peace, his brother died of leukemia or some cancer. Oh, sorry, yeah. But I just think it's weird. Well, it's probably hard because he was dealing with a lot of fucking stress trying to keep his brother's dirty little secret.

So I think you killed your brother, Sean King, you piece of shit. Do you think a mom would tell a nine-year-old kid, by the way, this isn't your real dad, your real dad is some dude I banged behind his back? No fucking chance. This looks like my friend Mark Hurstine, who I grew up with, who was a French Jewish kid. No, look. He looks like he could be Puerto Rican. For sure, he looks like he'd be Puerto Rican.

That's mostly the haircut and the stache. It's mostly the haircut. I used to have a stache like that, too, when I was trying to look Puerto Rican. Yeah, so- So when I grew up, it was very cool. Hip-hop culture was very cool. So Clarence King, Sean King, it's interesting that both their last names are King. I really genuinely my heart believe Sean King knew about Clarence's King story and got inspired by it.

And even though you say it's birth certificate, I just don't believe anything comes out of this fucking kid's mouth. So I think Sean King co-opted Clarence King's story and it's just the new King. So that's just what it is. is just the new King. So that's just what it is. And I believe much like Clarence King told his wife, his black wife, you know, who she knew him as James Todd, on his actual deathbed in 1901

while he was dying of tuberculosis, he said, by the way, I'm not black. I'm a white guy. I'm white. And I've left you a fortune. I think Sean King on his deathbed will tell whoever his wife is at the time that, hey, by the way, I've been white this whole time.

Okay, so this is the story. Clarence, he's a geologist. He would explore. He would go out. He's a fucking nerd. At the time, he was a nerd. At the time, though, he was pretty internationally famous for some things that he'd done. He was exploring Sierra Nevada mountains.

At some point, he exposed, there was supposed to be some diamond rush, and he exposed that there was no diamonds there. He became an international celebrity. He was well-known. He was friends with very prominent people, one of which was the grandson of John Adams, President John Adams. Henry Adams. Henry Adams was a good friend of it, and some kid, Hay, who was also another big deal. James Hay, who I think was the Secretary of State or something. So the kid lived in a very prominent hotel in Manhattan.

He just lived there, and he was single, and then he would cross the bridge and put on a Pullman's outfit or whatever. Cross the Brooklyn Bridge, yeah. And he married Ada Copeland, and they had four kids, and he lived a life, a double life as a black guy with her. So funny. And she didn't know.

So funny. And he would explain his absences from there because he would say, I was on the railroad. Right. My thing is, he must have, in order to pick the perfect profession, so when he's gone on these geological surveys or whatever, he tells Ada Copeland, his wife, he lies. Guys are good at lying.

Good at lying. He says, I'm out. Not as good as women, though. Not as good as women, yeah. Yeah, women don't have a lie. They know how to get away with it. But he was, I mean, this is pretty good. So he picked the perfect profession because when he was gone for his geological surveys,

which was his real work or whatever. Because you know what I just realized? We're in different seats. We're in different seats. Wow. We never switched. We never switched back from WIPA. And I'm using your microphone and I got COVID now.

It's what it is. So he would go on these and tell her he was on the railroad, which is the perfect cover. So that's why she never suspected. He was like, oh, I'm on the railroad. I'm traveling here. I'm traveling there, traveling there. But he wasn't.

It was all a fiction, a lie. The guy lied to her. Now, if you're her, on the deathbed, when you say, hey, by the way, babe, I'm a white woman, she goes, that explains that your piece is what it is. It's what it is. You got a little baby piece. Way, John. Yeah, she was like, I was expecting a nice black hog, and instead I got this fucking

wart-filled little white dick. Do you think she goes, oh oh my God, that makes sense? No, but you know what I think? Because your hair and your face, you look like a white guy, now it all makes sense. Yeah, now it all makes sense. Yeah.

I think that, truly, because the kid was actually making sticks. He was making real money being a geologist heading the geological survey. And the kid was making real money. They moved from Vinegar Hill, Brooklyn,

which was a predominantly black area of Brooklyn where they were living, but there was a lot of crime there and it was not a good neighborhood at that time.

Then they moved to Bed-Stuy, which Bedford-Stuyvesant was a very top-notch brownstone neighborhood. They moved them there and then they moved to Flushing, Queens because he kept making

so much money. So part of me thinks his wife, who was black knew that he was lying about something most likely his race or had another affair or was having an affair but because they were making so much money and she was able to get her and her children out of bad neighborhoods and into better neighborhoods she just turned a blind eye to it or maybe she just didn't ask questions you know yeah which is like hey you're making money it's what it is i'm not gonna ask any questions but yeah the house in queens was a nice house and i had four or five kids then on the deathbed he said i'm white and i'm leaving all this money to you go

get it it's in the care of this friend you'll get it and then for the next 30 years she fought for that money right and she never got. And she had some very prominent people represent her to try to get that money that he was trying to leave to her And they wouldn't give her the money. Yeah. They wouldn't give her the money,

which because, unfortunately, he made a deathbed confession and they weren't going to accept the word of a black woman at that time. And it's just, it's just sad part of history because he wanted to give it to his wife, Ada King, but... His wife. His wife, who was black. But, you know, it's just it's just sad part of history because he he wanted to give it to his wife ada king but

his wife who was black but you know what and then and then so so these stories happen where people just want to change their race for either you know love they want the victim mentality they just are they're so insecure with their own life circumstances that they make something up. The more recent story is Jessica Krug, who... The funniest one. This is the funniest one. I mean, if we're going to measure them on funny, Rachel Dolezal was the funniest. Yeah. But now, Jessica Krug, if they went out on the road, Jessica Krug would headline and Rachel Dolezal would feature.

Jessica Krug, well, if they went on the road, yeah, Jessica Krug headline,achel doll's all featured but the opener would be jessica krug's alter ego jessica jessica la boom barera la boom barera so jessica krug who's a fucking white woman born and raised in kansas city a jewish white woman from the suburbs of kansas Yeah. She took on the alter ego of Jessica LaBoombalera and posed as a African Afro-Caribbean woman and actually used it to get jobs and was a tenured professor at George Washington University for like 15 years teaching studies, African American studies, and complaining about how white people are ruining this country when she, in fact, was a fucking white woman ruining this country. I mean, it's really great. Can we play a little clip of her?

Yeah, please play that clip. Talking at the city council because— Oh, on the Zoom meeting. Yeah, I mean, now, is this psychopathy to you? She's a sociopath. What is it? How can you just blatantly lie? It's psychopath.

It's being a sociopath. It's not being able to be okay with the conditions of your life. It's wanting to be a victim. It's entitlement. It's insecurity. Here we go. Here we go. You think this is Mauricio Rodriguez from Giannis' comedy videos, but it's not.

I'm Jessabon Valera. I'm here in El Barrio, East Harlem. You probably know this neighborhood. Pause for a second. I just want to make sure the viewer, the listener understands right now, our fans understand that this is a white woman from Kansas City who has not yet come out publicly and said she is, in fact, a white woman from Kansas City.

She's still playing this charade, and she's still playing this race card, which I genuinely believe at this point, because of the things that are happening in our country, she needs to be brought up on federal charges. There needs to be a charge. You cannot do this. Now, I disagree. She got away with this for like three, four books, 13 years. She made a whole career out of it.

She's a professor at George Washington University, very prestigious university with a very prestigious job. She's been able to. There should be a rule. If you get away with it for 10 years. you've passed the test enough you've you you've achieved something fair enough and you become black fair enough get your card where they say you know what good on you you fooled us for 10 years you win fair enough yeah it's almost like yeah if you're like cheating on your wife for like 10 years and you don't get caught you have another family after the 10th year it's like you have to just now everybody's just got to be okay with it there's nothing anybody can do i won there's got to be a statutes of limitations on how long you can be canceled if

you can if you got away with something for 10 20 years you can't cancel somebody you have to tip your hat to them tip your hat if you say good fucking job jessica la bumbalera good job we should have to call her jessica la bumbalera which is the funniest name you think she was just sitting there going like in her brain do you think she talks like that to herself in her brain or her brain sounds more more like yeah because she's a jewish girl she's like a jewish girl from long island from kansas city so do her thoughts sound like this or in her own head does she change it and say listen these white motherfuckers here are not yielding their time to me

because they gentrify my neighborhood and I'm Jessica La Bumbarera and I won't have any time for these fucking white devils coming in my neighborhood because I'm an unrepentant child of the hood.

That's it. That's it. That's how she does it. Do you think she thinks like that? 100%. Do your thoughts sound like this? Hi. Hi.

Christy, what are we going to do today? We're going to wake up this morning. We're going to get ourselves a black and white because we've been good, but we're going to be a little naughty because we can reward ourselves for working out with Anthony. God, did Anthony look good this morning. Yes. Is that how your thoughts sound?

But then they come out like, Christy, I'm a guy, but in your brain. Yeah. What does the voice in your head sound when i wake up truly when i wake up when are my eyes open when i'm in bed i'm waking up my body and brain wakes up i think i'm a woman it's not till my feet hit the floor and do i hear the creaks of the floor and realize how much weight i'm carrying do i remember i'm a man yeah yeah yeah because when the feet hit the floor they're shaped like a high heel yeah So you're still a woman until you stand up and you carry all that weight. Yeah, and then I just see my penis.

And then one day I just- So do you have body dysmorphia when you look in the, what is that, gender dysphoria? Gender dysmorphia, yeah. It must be weird to have the soul of a woman and then see a very, you have a manly head. I know. It's tough. Your head looks like it's a helmet. Yeah.

It was almost like if I, my face, and I put on a helmet. Right. Like, it's like. Your head looks like it's a helmet. Yeah. It was almost like if I, my face and I put on a helmet. Right. It's like you have a natural helmet. You got a big protruding male brow. Right. You look like a real guy's guy, and then you come out and you're just, your soul is like this. Yeah, I'm coming out of dancing. Your soul works. Yeah. I'm working,

I'm having a good time. You're a man, you walk, you present as a man, but your soul is 100% Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston, baby, I come, I love it, I'm alive. Yeah present as a man, but your soul is 100% Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston, baby. I come. I love it. I'm alive. Yeah, no.

It's just what it is. Finally, cuz, sports are back. They're back. And I just made a little money because I was predicting, hopefully, that Djokovic was going to hit a judge in the throat with a tennis ball. It was a very specific bet, and I won it was very specific bet and i won it yeah and you freaking won it so what you're gonna do now is go to my bookie and use the promo code hyenas h-y-e-n-a-s and if you put in let's say 60 bucks they're gonna match it so you're gonna get

120 to bet so they're gonna match any bet you do if you go to my bookie and use the promo code hyenas they're gonna bet like i this morning was like you know what i want to bet match any bet you do. If you go to MyBookie and use the promo code hyenas, they're going to bet. Like I, this morning, was like, you know what I want to bet on? I bet you that Odell Beckham Jr. likes to get poop on his chest. And guess what, baby? It came out today that OBJ likes to get pooped on his chest. And please welcome the Cleveland Steamers to the field. Guys, you can bet on any sport, anything.

MyBookie. ag is the website go enter that promo code you know bet on because i want to like there's got to be you could bet on anything you because you could bet on whatever the hell you want to bet on football baseball basketball coin flips i mean how low do you want to go look let's just be honest there's three levels of enjoying sports. Right. One of them is you're just a sport fan and you're watching the sport. Right.

The second one is you're watching the team that you love so you're emotionally invested. Yeah. The third and best one is you got a little scratch on, you got a little juice on the game. You got a little juicy, juicy on the game because my bookie promo code hyenas they're gonna match your bet let's do it you could parlay to par day do whatever the hell you want

um the winning seasons are back at my bookie yeah come on it's been really hard with covid we could all use a little fucking adrenaline rush so let's go i got 50 on the fucking football season yeah i got a hundo that says china already's got the vaccine because they made the virus. New customers can sign up with promo code HIENAS to double their deposit and receive an instant cash bonus. Survivor Street contest

begins week two of the NFL season. Make bets against the spread every week until you go bust. Only $5 re-entry. Yeah, no, it's just what it is. Yeah, I am not 100%, but I would say 70% sure that if I make it to 50,

the last 50, I will try to go as a woman. Just to feel it. Now, if you banged out Jessica La Bombadera and you found out she was Jessica Krug, would you get less attracted to her? Less attracted. More attracted.

Yeah, her as Jessica La Bombadera with the nose ring, I mean, she's going to get the construction attracted. So you're more. More attracted. Yeah. Her as Jessica La Bumbadera with the nose ring. I mean, she's going to get the construction boot. She's going to get one off the face. Yeah. Now, if you want to know what a construction boot means, it's just like a picture of somebody who's just been painting all day what their boot looks like. Yeah. It's a lot of white stuff all over it.

All right. So let's. Did you see her though as Bumbadera? She kind of looked like a piece. As Bumbadera, she looks like a piece. And Rachel Dollarsville also was kind of like a piece. But here she just looks like a fat lesbian. Yeah.

So here's Jessica La Boomba Nera. Let's hear her. Mark Feverito, who used to be the speaker of your city council, sold my fucking neighborhood to developers and gentrifies. So I got a couple things to say. And when y'all come on and tell me my time stops, fuck out of here. It's been seven

hours not only did i have to listen to these cops and not just the cops but to be honest with you council members you pose like you're opposing them for your sound bites for your social media for your re-election campaigns fuck out of here you've been supporting the cops in the pandemic nothing when the mta was strapped and you supported putting more cops on the mta fuck out of here we know where you're coming from and we know what these little photo options and bullshit stuff. I also want to call out all these

white New Yorkers who waited four hours with us. You know, a lot of it, you can get away with this amount of bullshit in that world because, let's just be honest, most of that world is bullshit. Bullshit. I mean, you go to study like, you're taking a class on fucking, it's all bullshit. Math mean, you go to study, like, you're taking a class on fucking, it's all bullshit.

Math and science and history, what happened, it's what it is. This whole, like, activist version of academics, it's all bullshit. You can come in and say anything. It's like this whole fucking field or culture of liberal arts through the lens of fucking victimization comes with a certain amount of bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Because humans are shit no matter what color they are,

and they're also great no matter what color they are. It's just whatever. So this shit is actually more racist than anyone who's walking down the street who's fucking going, you know what, we gotta get rid of this certain,

whatever the fuck they're saying. Because, you know what, we got to get rid of this certain, whatever the fuck they're saying. Because, you know what I mean? At least that person, you know who they are. Yep. And you know, okay, they're small-minded. Whereas this is an actual fucking vulture. She's like a leech. She's saying I'm against gentrification.

She is the gentrifier. Okay, but why did Jessica Krug Krugy Lombubinera why did she come out and say she got outed by a but I was going to say so it's not like

it was on her own accord like she had this existential crisis inside of her something was about to go down and she said let me M&M it

she came clean and she M&M'd it right she 8-miled it by coming out to try to get ahead of it and just admit everything because it was about to come out

she had been found out she was a jewish woman from the suburbs of kansas city went to private school she's been estranged from her family she even skipped her own mother's funeral because she felt like that would expose her because her mother's white mother's white she's white so uh so it was a latin student an afroCaribbean Latin student, who started to question her when they started to actually talk about this prominent Hispanic writer, this Cuban, Afro-Cuban writer. Okay. Who she didn't know. Who they knew, who's a member of history in these fields or whatever.

And it turned out that they found out, in retrospect, he was lying. He wasn't Afro-Cuban. So he was lying to pass in this world of like, hey, what's up? You know, fucking we're trying

to the white devils everywhere. So a student uncovered this? A student was about to uncover me and she came clean in medium. Oh, what? What actually?

Can we read the story? Like, yeah, that's what happened. So the student was about to catch her. So she came out. She said, I'm not a culture vulture. I'm a culture le leech i'm from a great part of my adult life i've

been living a lie she's been lying and the best thing is is like she goes hard she attacks white people constantly one of her neighbors is a white woman always said like this is the problem with y'all she's a smart kid she's got a phd from the university of wisconsin she's got a phd in this bullshit i mean let's be honest what the fuck is sociology. She's got a PhD in this bullshit. I mean, let's be honest. What the fuck is sociology? Yeah, it's true. Gender studies. It's bullshit.

You got a PhD. That's a good point. I'm not calling anyone who's got a PhD in fucking sociology a doctor. We need to stop that. Yeah. Let's just call it something else. What can we call it?

You got a PhD in bullshit, so it's a PHB. Yeah, you're a fucking something, something bullshit. Yeah. What is it? Post-humoral doctorate. Post-humoral bullshit. Yeah.

I mean, you're a doctorate, but you're closer to a doctorate than these people who have a doctorate. Because of medical field. Yeah. Because at least you can fucking put your hands on my balls and tell me if I got cancer, and I need to ask you again, can we do it after the episode? Do you really? Are you having some problems again?

No, no. But you're a guy. Here's the thing. You're a guy. When you touch another man, you know how, can we do it after the episode? Do you really? Are you having some problems again? No, no, but you're a guy, here's the thing. You're a guy, when you touch another man, you know how to separate and do it medically. Yeah.

Because you've touched my back a few times and I didn't feel weird. Right. I didn't feel like gay about it. You know how to just put that aside and handle someone physically, medically.

Yeah, here's, but cuz, make no mistake, after I did that to you, I fucking went home and I fucking hit my pocket pussy hard yeah yeah

yeah cause you're a doctor you're a doctor you're a fucking doctor I'm a fucking doctor I mean you're a doctor so so this lady

Jessica Krug Jessica La Boombadatta much like Clarence King for whatever Clarence King decided to do it for love she decided to do it to be a victim

and to get involved to get ahead in life. I think she should be, there should be, there is a crime here though. I understand the 10 year rule, which I'm willing to give you a pass on this, but there should be some crime here that needs to be kind of brought up now. But no, it's the same thing as like the Long Island Medium

or John Edward, what was his name? Yeah, it's like you want to believe the bullshit. I mean, What was his name? Yeah, it's like you want to believe the bullshit. I mean, if you want to believe it, if you're there, I mean, it's like, well, you're going to put up the Long Island Medium on charges

because she's pretending to speak to Larry? I mean, if you feel... Because my mom's been talking to a dog psychic trying to get in touch with Larry. She's saying he's not there yet. I'm going to pass out

because I got COVID too, so I'm extra lightheaded.. I'm going to pass out because I got COVID too, so I'm extra lightheaded. Because you're going to pass out like D.L. Hughley. Because why are some things so funny to me? You're, the life I created in my head for your childhood is a cartoon, and it's funny to me. You're a funny guy.

The neutrals are funny to me. The characterizations we've made of your family are funny. Larry's death is funny. Jessica La Bumbalera hits me in that same funny place. Because my mom's going to get a new dog, and I'm going to name it Jessica La Bumbalera. And just the dog is fucking. Yeah, so if you. Because how's your dog?

How's Isla? Isla's great. Running around in the backyard. Isla's great. She truly is a Puerto Rican. Yeah. She truly is a Puerto Rican. Yeah. She truly is a Puerto Rican. Because this would be like me,

because my character, Maurisa, her story is she's half Puerto Rican, half Czech. Maybe I should just do a video of her coming out as like she was Czech the whole time and the Puerto Rican thing was an act.

But this would be me if I tried to live as Maurisa full time and pass as a Puerto Rican woman from the Lower East Side. Or as me as Giannis Pappas. I just said, my name is Giannis Pappas. I'm from the Lower East Side. Yo, what's up? What's up?

And I just pretended like I was Sergio's real cousin. Cuz, and please, for the love of God, make that the last Maurice video. You can't have a kid and also be Maurice. It's got to end. It's got to end. So do that. Make it a good one. And then fucking retire that bitch already. It got retire it anyway because guess what it's curtains people don't want it

anymore oh yeah oh yeah no i always want it no she's got good fans but i'm saying it's just it's it's she had a good run of 10 years 2010 2011 2012 that was the maurice years i would say you know she had a run. I mean, still. Maybe even more. There's still hardcore fans. I mean, I put up the videos and her fans. Some of them are fans of this podcast.

Tons. We got a lot of people who come here and more should come. And look, I'm never going to retire her because she's fun. I got a lot of characters she's fun to do. But yeah, I mean, everything has its shelf life. People don't want to know that things have a run and then you got to move on you move on that's moving or lose it sister it's very rare you come across like a howard stern dude you got to give those people credit rolling stones howard stern

you too it's just bill cosby unless if he wouldn't have gotten caught way bill cosby always would adapt i mean his off thestage crimes are heinous, but you got to separate the artist from the crime. It's like the guy would adapt. He was famous in every decade. God, Hootie's having a good run. Yeah, Hootie and the Bluffers? Darius Rupp is having a good run.

Yeah, didn't he? He just performed at Dave Chappelle's camp. Yeah, people don't know. Even Dave Chappelle's run. Dave Chappelle's great. But he stopped doing stand-up for like 12 years. And then came right the fuck back. Came right the back.

And Nimesh Patel was right there with him. He was right there with him. So Jessica Lumbayara. Nimesh Patel is going to come on the podcast. I keep delaying it. Yeah, I think we said in another episode, we think that he's assumed bunladded. Could be us, yeah.

Yeah, we don't know. Reality is a suggestion. We're going to, Jessica LaBumbalera is going to become an adjective for us somehow in our lexicon. Should we make t- jessica la bumbalera i think yeah i'm feeling like yeah my inner spirit child is jessica la bumbalera so she got caught so she she she i love her because she co-opted all of it yeah it was african and then she was like you know what let me get a little bit more so she was like i'm also puerto rican or whatever or dominican or whatever she was

and then she said let me get a little caribbean in there she was like i think she was about one month away from also saying she was jamaican and indian it's funny how you just get into like a little lie and then it just has to go on for about 20 years i used to tell people in high school i was half egyptian why what it is and for a little while at the beginning you were italian yeah and now not now you're not now you've come out as what you are, mostly German, a little bit of Irish, 100% Republican. 100% Republican. Yeah, and my last name is not DiStefano. It's Weizenmuller.

It's Weizenmuller. Can it. Yeah, can it. It's what it is because we've got to get back to Germany. Open up the borders, you fucking Democratic. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's what it is. We're on a podcast.

Oh. Yeah, but I mean, you let one fly. Is it live? No. Oh, okay. Well, just bleep it out with rainbows. Here's what we've got to do. Make sure you bleep that one out. Yeah, but I mean, you let one fly. Is it live? No. Oh, okay. Well, just bleep it out with rainbows. Here's what we gotta do.

Make sure you bleep that one out. Yeah, you gotta bleep that one up. Throw some cackles over it. So, the fight for this money, for this estate that he left his black family. Right.

By the way, he was a great guy who did this. Because I'm sitting like a sphinx again. Yeah, sitting like a sphinx. He did this at the time because he felt like it wasn't accepted,

but he dreamed about a time, much like Martin Luther King, and we'll pull up the quote he said, hopefully one day there won't be Irish people, there won't be black people, there'll just be one American race. Right, which it needs to happen now because America is just a big experiment,

and the experiment, maybe it's working, maybe it's not, but oh yeah, here's the quote, Yanni, but it's just like, yeah, at some point, we need to be the country where like, when they go to Scotland or Africa, they're not like, oh, what nationality are you?

You're just that country. Who needs to get to that? Hey, we're just American. And then we gotta get unified. Yeah, because most of it is just cultural differences. Just start borrowing each other's cultures. That's why I hate when they say you're a culture vulture, whatever.

Hey, if you're not lying about who you are and you love someone else's culture, what's the big deal? What's the big deal? That's how cultures evolve, by sharing with one another. Just like, share the good parts of the culture and create new cultures. We're all American. Who fucking cares? It's just culture. Enough with the cultural

appropriation. That should be out the fucking window. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to a fucking mosque tomorrow because I want to fucking get a little bit of that culture it's what it is it's all it's all beautiful there's beautiful parts and there's negative parts there's good ideas bad ideas just fucking cherry pick you're american you're free open the border open the fucking border so he said so his quote was um can you read this baby mrs king mr king uh clarence king said he hopes, as he put it, quote, no more Irish or Germans, Negroes and English,

but only Americans belonging to one defined American race. That's what he hoped for. He said that in 1901. He said that in 1901. So that's what he hoped for. So he left it. So there was a 30-year battle. This is also significant.

So after he died, he tried to leave this to his uh quote unquote at the time they would call it negro family right and um his boy john hay now that's a boy that's a friend that's a friend yeah that's how you know a true friend when like the guy the guy's not even here to see the good deed that his friend is doing i feel like this is something you would do for me because you're a good friend here's you want to hear a nice little quote that I think you'll like? The sign of a good society is when old men plant trees, they know the shade they'll never sit under.

Yeah. Why'd your jaw pop out into that beavis? Just because I just wanted to fucking hit you with a quote. But you hit it and then your jaw popped out. And I hit the jaw,

I don't know, because make no mistake, I ordered three chains and one of them just arrived at my house. Because we're getting ready for Chain Out Guy Chrissy. Chain Out Guy, but that's, but so that's. That's a the jaw. I don't know, because make no mistake, I ordered three chains, and one of them just arrived at my house. Because we're getting ready for Chain Out Guy, Chrissy. Chain Out Guy. But that's a good quote.

But it's a good quote, and it's what John Hay is doing. Yeah, so John Hay was actually a statesman. He was a private secretary and assistant to Abraham Lincoln. I mean, this kid had Abraham Lincoln's ear. So what John Hay did, and then his daughter or son continued to do, which is wild. You don't want to assume gender, yeah.

After, yeah, whatever it was, after he died, he continued to provide Ada Copeland with money, a stipend to help them live. Every month. That's like my aunt's whose husband got killed.

She would get money every month too from the guys that killed her husband. Yeah, and those guys- That's just mafia rules. Yeah, those guys saw your aunt's husband. They came and saw him in a different way. They came and saw him

in a different way. And they took him physically. And they took him physically and now they own multiple bars and restaurants on 3rd Avenue and Bay Ridge. And we should be talking about this on the party.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. We're joking because she did get a paper bag full of cash because what are they fucking on him all day? Yeah, what are they

fucking Mulan's? Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen. I mean, it's going to get away as soon as you just make a note. Wei Zhongzhen. Yeah, I mean. I said Mulan's.

It's a Disney movie. Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen. So he continued to provide and so then there was a 30 year battle to try to get this money for her

and the court eventually determined in 1933, so 30 years after his death, the court decided that, oh, it was his daughter Helen, it was John Hayes' daughter, it was his daughter that continued to give Ada Copeland a stipend on behalf of his friend after he died, so Ada Copeland continued to get this Copeland a stipend on behalf of his friend after he died. So Ada Copeland continued to get this money, and it eventually stopped. And Copeland, until her death, continued to live in that house that John Hay, his friend, had bought for her. She died in 1964 at 101 fucking years old.

That's a long life. That is a fucking long, long life. And during this fight, this 30-year battle to gain control of the trust fund that he promised her, her representatives included Everett Warring, who was the first black lawyer to argue a case before the Supreme Court. Wow. Significant. And J. Douglas Wetmore, who contested segregation laws

in Jacksonville, Florida. So this was kind of a civil rights fight. Right. And it's kind of an underrated story in history of a man

who had a love for a black woman who had a secret family like your granddad. It's what it is, cuz. It's what it is. Very, very true. Do you, like,

because I get horned up, you know, I like to look at, like, you know, like, trash at like you know like trash like you know like not trash but like you know like fucking big tits fat asses you know uh uh tattoos on the tits kardashian type shit do you jerk off to like different women that get prominent seats in congress do you like like that does it turn you on when somebody just goes left now i like to i was reading jessica laboumBolera's book. I don't know what it was called. There's something about how the white people have leprosy and they're the devil. Yeah, whatever it is.

The evils of gentrification and the silencing of brown and black voices. And I jerk off to that. Yeah, that's what you like to do. Paragraph by paragraph, I just get hard. Much like the way Mike Tyson said in his Joe Rogan interview. He's like, you know, what's that, Joe? Because you're a smart person. Did you listen to it, by the way? No, but I his joe rogan interview he's like you know what's that joe

because you're a smart person did you listen to it by the way no but i'm gonna listen it's comedy yeah because at a certain point he goes you know it's but you know it's hurting somebody it's orgasmic he said what is it called joe when like when i get hot when you hit somebody you get hot you get hard from like my your penis erect. So he said his penis gets erect when he hurts someone. Yeah, that's what happened. But didn't we talk about,

do an episode about how certain serial killers, when they were choking the life out of a person, they would get hard? Yes. They get hard fucking cocks. So Mike Tyson was saying,

because I knew, yeah, that's you when you're reading a good novel, because you are fucking intellectual. Make no mistake, any John Steinbeck novel you own, those pages are stuck together.

Yeah, here's the thing about me. I didn't know there was all these terms about, I am, I think, a sapiosexual. any John Steinbeck novel you own, those pages are stuck together. Yeah, here's the thing about me. I didn't know there was all these terms about, I am I think a sapiosexual. Oh yes, I was put on just recently on what a sapiosexual is. And I also, I get attracted to people for intelligence.

What's that called? Sapiosexual, I thought. I mean, Loaf doesn't know because his girlfriend is attracted to him because of the fucking size of his meat. Yeah, it's one of those loafs got a fucking piece. Because if his glue gun was a gun, it would be an AR-15. Yeah, because, I mean, there's been a couple of times. I got a.22.

There's been a couple of times where a loaf is like, oh, we're missing a cord for one of the cameras. I'm like, just put your dick in it. Yeah. Why? Can't you just put your dick in it and charge up the computer? I got a.22. He's got an AR-15. And you got a garden hose because every time you send me a video, it's limp.

It's just fine. I got a limp fucking biscuit because, no, you got it. It doesn't get hard unless you suck my dick, babe. It's just what it is because, Mick, I got a bitch. I got a pussy. Why don't you get it tattooed right above your dick where it says, I don't get hard unless you suck my dick, babe. Unless you suck.

Oh, I'll put it around. I don't get hard unless you suck my dick, babe. That was another classic moment from our podcast. I know that we have to delete. I'm very close to getting that Iranian clip back. That's good. Did we delete that episode? That episode's out there.

Did we delete? Did we pull a Joe Rogan and delete? Did Spotify delete it? Did Spotify delete it? Yeah. Okay. Joe Rogan, yeah. I mean, the history of Joe Rogan's up there.

I'm going to be, I'll be, I will be, I don't know when this episode's coming out. When is it? delete it yeah okay joe rogan yeah i mean okay history of joe rogan's up there i'm gonna be uh i'll be i will be i don't know when this episode's coming out when is it like in three four weeks so right now come see me tonight or tomorrow or whenever october 1st to the 3rd october 1st to throw the stress factory in new brunswick if there's tickets less yes what it is there will be no tickets left sell it out baby uh go Go to Chris D. First of all, for those shows, go to yannaspapascomedy.com or historyianas.com. For my shows, chrisdcomedy.com or historyianas.com. October 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th. I'm sorry, October 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th, me and Andrew Santino will be in Delaware,

Scranton, Pittsburgh, and Cape Cod, Massachusetts. And then October 23rd at 8 p.m. live streaming anywhere you live in the world. You can see me do a set in front of a real audience, live into your living room, all new material, hour-long set. October 23rd, 8 p.m. Go to chrisdcomedy.com for tickets or wallstreettheater.live for tickets. It's a streaming event anywhere you live. Go get those tickets and watch me live. And here's a very important thing I want to say. Be proactive, please. Tell your friends

who you think might like the History Hiatus podcast and all the stuff we do, tell them about it. Spread the word. Post about it in your stories constantly. Tweet about it. Whatever it is, it really matters.

It's the most important thing, actually. And for those of you who've done it, you've made a difference. You've helped us grow. The matriarchy continues to grow. We're taking over the Serengeti. We are the hyenas. Wave your pseudo-penises in the air. And when you see us, try to touch Binky in his Modell shorts and feel that love.

Yeah, feel that fucking little baby love. Okay. As always now, the that fucking little baby love. Okay. As always now, the people who went to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, if you want to join the matriarchy and see all the behind the scenes stuff and all the extra episodes we put out, Conspiracy Cuties, Weppo Wednesdays, live walk and talks, whatever we decide, I'm telling you the value is unbelievable. Nobody puts more content on Patreon than us.

That's just a fact. It's not even being cocky. It's just objective fact patreon.com slash bay ridge boys join the matriarchy if you join at the $10 level we read your name out on the podcast we encourage funny names that make us laugh the winner gives gets the ppw the pseudo penis of the week all right so let me just get to it if just hold please please. If you haven't joined the Patreon at all, if you join now, you get the whole back catalog. For a while, we were doing WEPA every

day. We have a lot of... Then I burned out. But we have so much content that you can go back and binge. So if you're loving the hyenas and you want more, as the old expression goes, we got a lot of more at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boy,

our channel. Go be a part of that community. People interact with each other on the community board. It's amazing and we appreciate it. Also, the episodes, no cackles and no ads. No cackles and no ads, unless there's cackles for legal reasons. Our lawyer, Chrissy,

Chrissy sometimes has to be tethered. Sometimes you've got to put the collar on him, leash him up, because there's kids in the park. It's what it is. All right, so welcome to the matriarchy, Ronald King. Mike.

Wait, Ronald King? Ronald King. A lot of Kings going on this episode. Ronald King's on the list for his own name. Is he a white guy, black guy? We don't know. Ronald King. Let's put him on the list because it's Sean King's brother. He's a quadroon. Mike, Austin Harkis, Stephen, Will Riggs. Then we got Bukkake Beanie Baby. Bukkake Beanie Baby goes right onto the list. Then we got newly appointed father Bill Berkowitz buried his gay in my throat. On the list,

close to getting the History Hyenas podcast. Close. Yeah, because any Father Bill that blows us away, we will give you the podcast. Then we got Jason Landess. Then we got Lynn. Lynn joined the Patreon.

That's a chicken finger that's going right into the fucking, right into the Drexler. Yeah, after Larry passed, she just, Lynn is on the Patreon. Hey, Mom. Then we got Sterling Paschal.

Let me just say this. I give you a lot of credit doing this podcast and continue to do this podcast with the gusto that you do knowing that your entire family, both sides, all three sides, father, daughter, and then your baby mama. Everyone's

listening to this podcast. Yeah, and everybody doesn't like me anymore. No. Yeah, so I give you credit. You lay it all out there for, Finn. Everyone's listening to this podcast. Yeah, and everybody doesn't like me anymore. No. Yeah, so I give you credit. You lay it all out there for the fans. It's what it is. But the truth of the situation is this, is most people are not going to like you. And you're just going to have to accept it.

You're not going to please everybody. Yes. And it doesn't matter. Life is short. Have fun. Do what you love. Have fun. Do what you love.

Tom, Roger Ryan Mercury, Austin Christopherson, Crystal Divine, Vincenzo Pacheco. Wait. Vincenzo Pacheco, he's going to get a Drexler just because his name is Vincenzo. Vincenzo. Then we got Jason. Then we got just a Toledo squeak that could use Yanni and Chrissy's masturbation de-escalation to make me peak. On the list.

Cesar Bluffington, Mike Klein, Miguel Ortega. Then we got Bakan Nemjays in the oven for Jesus Ladder 14. Okay. You went for something there. Then we got Claire Friedrich. Then we got I love my cutie 33rd degree fume mason. Oh, a luma cutie 33rd degree fume mason. That's a good name.

That's a good name. That's a good name. It's a Drexler. Good, though. Then we got Cuz. If Tim Dillon isn't the next Messiah, I'll suck off the first Sandra D.I.C. Trump 2020, AOC 2024. Those guys just go fully charged. That's what it is.

Do we need to add a fully charged list? Fully charged, yeah. You make it on the fully charged list. Then we got I Think the Robraphs Cracked cracked open JFK's head after that pee speech. Okay. Fully charged. Then we got Backstreet, BB, touch my pee pee, jiggle my cheeks to watch the glue fall out of me. Okay.

Fully charged. Then we got, yeah, Tess with the three finger tickle under your cute little churks because that's the handshake you deserve. Go with Bay Ridge Boys fan. Go watch our series Bay Ridge Boys. There we go. Papa Keezy, Haley Marks. Then we got Yanni is fat, fat, fat. That's a chicken finger that's going into Drexler. Then we got Small Peace, Big Balls,

Hey Y'all from Arkansas. That's going on the list and that's a contender into the playoffs. I'm just going to start putting certain people into the playoffs. Then we got Rob Foster. Then we got Father Stew gave me the glue in the back pew too. That is a Drexler. It's a good one. Then we got Indian from Iraq, a.k.a.

Dances with Fumes. On the list, obviously. On the list. Then we got Alexander Griswold. Then we got Joey Marinaristains. Joey Marinaristains is a Drexler. Then we got Patricio Ortiz, biological father of Venetia's future kids. But make no mistake, I'm open to co-parent with Chris because he's a piece.

Okay. That's a goodie. Then we got Austin, a.k.a. Venetia, is a character piece. Piece. Okay. Call her a piece. Okay. Then we got Chrissy D.

Chrissy, disinfect the fish smell from your puss-puss because, God damn, I can smell it from here. And the fumes are fucking killing me. Then we got Rafa. Fully charged. Joseph Ballews. Matt Hamilton. Then we got Queefton. Jonathan Seeley.

Then we got Chrissy Cuckold. Cucka-doodle-doo. Yanni and his Papa's Glazer. Drexler. Then we got Wani the ICE bucket. Wani the ICE bucket. Okay, so he's saying he's ICE. Then we got Pippin Pippinger.

Then we got Breaking the ICE podcast. So somebody's just promoting their podcast on our Patreon. I mean, screwed in. Breaking the ICE podcast. Go check them out. Yeah, that's another list called Screwed In. Yeah. Then we got Spencer Crooks, a.k.a. Steel Pipe Spency,

a.k.a. my dad drank when I was young because I have fumes. Then we got Gabriel Ramirez. Then we got if Zach Isis was a salsa monkey, he'd be called Zach Sisi. Okay. Shout out to Zach Isis. Then we got Pauly W., the $3 Pisces eating zucchini slices. I like it.

Hey, if our Patreon gets to $100,000 a month, we'll bring Zach Isis back. I'll bring him back when we get to $100,000. Yeah, if we get to $100,000, we'll bring him back, and he won't do anything. He'll just be around. Then we got Meet Me in the Back because Nero wants that piece. won't do anything. It will just be around. Then we got Meet Me in the Back because Nero wants that piece.

Then we got Alex, David Barrett, Brendan Beaver. Then we got Jinky, make no mistake, if baby Gianna comes out looking like her bumpus, we may have to change her name

to Chaz Bono. It's what it is. What's a bumpus? I don't know, but I'm just uncomfortable that the fans know the name of my daughter. But you said it.

I know. It's too late. Okay, you can always change her name. Yeah, let's call it, her be la boom barera la boobana jessica la boom barera because if my daughter grows up to be transracial i'm gonna love her anyway it's just you have to just like look i'm not with this greek culture shit i'm out of here i'm out of here i'm gonna see your daddy did that too with a character then we got irish with fumes but at least I'm not a Jew. Okay, I walk into that one, and we don't condone that. We don't condone that.

Carlos Hernandez. Then we got Silly Willie, the Irish Catholic prodigy who's running laps around your mom's chute. Then we got Johnny Tuna Cavs. Johnny Tuna Tavs. Tuna Cavs. Johnny Tuna Cavs is a chicken finger that safely walks into the Drexler list. Then we got Hayden LaBelle, Betty, Chris Mack. Then we got Stinky Bubby.

Then we got Plantain Poppy, Bailey Stone, James Traylor. Then we got, make no mistake, I'm a $3 bill. Oh, I got it. Make no mistake, I'm a $3 build that wall Trump 2020. So I'm a $3 build that wall Trump 2020. D- him a $3 build that wall, Trump 2020. D-I-L slash E-D. Creative points gets you in the Drexler. Here we go now.

Now we got one. It's a new one. It's been a pretty weak list, I'm being honest with you. Well, this one changes it. Fumara Harris. Was there for the taking? I mean, let's call a winner when a winner happens. Yeah, so there's only a few more,

but Fumara Harris is in a comfortable lead right now. Comfortable lead. Then we got David blamed me for not holding my breath long enough because it wasn't magic. Joseph Serna, Kevin Strohs, Darby Yule. Then we got Jay, my girlfriend, tried licking my smashed bean, but passed out from the fumes bed. So the winner is Fumar Harris.

I don't think we even need to discuss it. Yeah, last one is a Drexler. I got to admit, that was the weakest list. In a while. And then Fumata Harris came in and saved us. Look, guys, I'm just comparing. Like, this list is a Drexler compared to other lists. Doesn't mean there were some good ones.

But we've had so many bangers that this one was kind of like Fumata Harris came in and saved it at the end. Because Kamala Harris, it's been there for the take. Some of them have been there for the take for so long, and there's ones that are even right now that we're not thinking of, and someone's going to get it. I mean, the other one, what was the other one? Last episode was Way Sean King. Way Sean King.

I mean, that was there for the taking. So Fumar Harris, you're the PPW Pseudo-Penis of the Week. Tell your friends, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Keep supporting us. History Hyenas, follow us on YouTube. History Hyenas clips page. Follow us. Like.

Subscribe. Turn on your notifications. Tell a friend. Gay. Yeah, and go review us on iTunes. Love you. We really hope you enjoyed that episode, whatever it was about. This is just a stock thing that we're taping on temporary episode.

So go make sure you rate, review us, subscribe, turn on your notifications. Get jiggy with it. And go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys where things get really wild.