History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 171 - Bridget Phetasy is WILD!

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

This week the guys have Bridget Phetasy AKA the female version of Yanni Long Days!! The group dives into their favorite Long Day platform: Twitter. The best platform to see when Yanni or Bridget is having a LONG DAY! As most people will find out soon, Bridget isn't a conservative, leans a bit to the right and a bit to the left! Phetasy just wants to find a political party where they are pro-choice and pro-gun, dassit! Chris Distefano, Yannis Pappas and Bridget discuss what is going to happen in the upcoming 2020 presidential election and bubbas they think Donny T may be the winner. Things are looking a little too similar like 2015 and there may be a few more closeted Trump supporters than Biden!  But at the end of the day it doesn't matter, it's all narcism and reality is just a suggestion!!! Tell us your thoughts and GET READY FOR A LONG DAY!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Big shout out today to Helix Sleep. Take their two-minute sleep quiz and they will match you a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at helixsleep.com slash wild. That's helixsleep.com slash wild. W-I-L-D. All right, everybody. We got a great episode coming up. Bridget Phetasy, a.k.a. Bridget Longdays. I mean, this is Giannis Pappas in a female. This is Giannis Pappas in the body he's always wanted. Just a nice female bod.

And we had a great time. Gianni, you were epic. It was great, babes. It's good to see that you have a slight cough. So what's going on? Karony. You got Karony, huh? No, we don't know. We don't know. It's undetermined. And even if I get a positive result, I am going to reject it. I don't believe in it. It's made up. It's made up. Yeah. So it's what it is. The baby is days away. We're T minus 10 days from the baby G.

And it's just because. Are you excited? Are you scared? What's going on? I am excited. I can't wait. It's going to be nice to think about somebody other than my stupid self. So Gianna, come to the world so daddy can

stop thinking about daddy yeah it's what it is it's going to be beautiful uh yeah the first the first few days are nice then cuz months two to six you gotta just fucking bear down you're not gonna sleep and then you start to get a little bit of sleep, like month seven, eight for a few months. And then, and then, and then it gets wild. Yeah. Yeah. It's, um, you know, it's funny. It takes a village to raise a child. So I'm going to be bringing her to the stand. I'm people say I'll be risking giving her Corona, but I want her to meet the other comedians babies. I want to have her birthday there there i want the community to raise her so she will be seeing her yes i'll be sitting at the cellar i'll be sitting at the stand i'll be sitting it on the rooftop of new york comedy club that baby is going to be a comedian baby and she's

going to be raised by aaron berg and rich faust and chris stefano and homeless pimp's going to film it yeah home no that was gonna be the next question because homeless pimp is booked up what are you gonna do now because you're gonna obviously have to make the birth content so who's gonna film who's gonna have the camera in there and this and please enjoy bridget fantasy like that let's just do that this is 2020 where the first time you meet someone in person is not in person i feel like like I know you, though. I know. We know each other's thoughts.

That's why I love Twitter. Yeah. You've probably watched me go down rabbit holes. I've had to have Chris and our producers, they've had to have talked to me a few times about my Twitter. I don't have anyone talking to me down off the ledge. Is there still an echo? No, that's way better. Oh, thank you. Yeah, way better. I think there's like a real career opportunity. There's like a real void in the marketplace where

there should be like a Twitter, you know, Twitter like helpline, like Twitter police, like somebody who like comes in. It's like a Twitter healthcare worker who's just like, okay, that's enough. That's enough now. I've done this with like famous friends though when I see them going down, you know, the rabbit hole. I'll text them and be like, are you okay? Yeah, there needs to be like a Twitter personal trainer who's like, all right, this is what I'm going to give you a program. You tweet twice a month and that's it. Like a 12 step. Yeah. Like a 12 step. And you need like a sponsor. It's like, I broke last night. I went really crazy. Yeah. It's okay, man. I've been there. I've been there. You got to ask yourself, man, is anyone listening? Does anyone care? No.

So what are you doing? Why are we doing it? You're right. You're right. It's not worth it. Has it been recording? Yeah. All right. Good. So it's been recording. Is it echoing, Yanni? No, no, I can hear you. Okay. Yeah. because the thing is, yeah, like for something like this, like I feel like I'll, you know, try to pepper in here and there, but I mean, you and Bridget are the definition of long days. So it's just like, you know, like you guys, you know, it's just what Armageddon, the abyss, talk about, you know, whatever, man. I'm here to pepper in and try to just be you

know light and yay but I mean you guys want to tell us the truth about fucking you know the world ending we want to hear from two brilliant people I don't know what the definition of long days mean we call him Yanni long days because

he'll tweet things out you know at two three o'clock in the morning. And, you know, it's just wild topics. Then I, you know, being his podcast partner and friend, I would say like, you know, screenshot it and post it and say, I'm in for a long day because we live two doors, you know, two blocks away. So I would get the brunt of his opinions and the heat of it when I was just trying to walk and, you know, have a stroll with my daughter or just like, you know, breathe. I got to, you know, be told that, you know, there's social injustices and everyone's going to die and everyone's failure. And just, you know, a lot of things, the wheels of the

wheels of history are greased with blood, things like that, you know, a lot of things. The wheels of history are greased with blood. Things like that. You know, tweets like that. Let's just cut. Now you're giving us a long day. You're giving us a long day. Let's just cut to the chase. You want to live in a simple Republican world where everything is okay. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm in the middle. I lean right. Yeah. That's what it is. But it is true. Twitter can really ruin your life like alcohol and drugs so there really should be twitter counselors yeah absolutely i've talked

about just how it's like a joke i've started telling at this point where it's the opposite of every single dystopian movie where you're plugging in to get away from the nightmare that is reality. But instead it's like you plug into the nightmare and I look out and it's like a Disney movie in my backyard. There's butterflies and birds and like everything's fine. In my media, and I keep telling people this who are losing their minds because everyone's literally driving themselves crazy. losing their minds because everyone's literally driving themselves crazy. Look in your immediate like RL, real life. Generally, we're okay, doing better than ever humans have ever done before in the history of humanity. And then you go online and it's like, on the West Coast, it's just like I'm in a jalopy merging onto a freeway and everyone's already on the east coast

like fired up and they're like it's the end of the world the like the shit's hitting the fan everybody's gonna die everyone's fired up and screaming at each other yeah chris often chris is right about that because he always says like, hey, we got to get off Twitter. Everything's fine if it's not on Twitter. And it's true. Like I realized I did some shows this weekend, some outdoor shows. I got Corona, but I'll deal with that. I don't know if I got Corona, but definitely it's possible.

But I realized how much we live in the internet when like everything's fine in the world because i've been quarantined the country i drove there and some black guy in a car he was like hey man and i just immediately i just immediately screamed back and i was like black lives matter i'm sorry can i wash your feet what can i do i'm sorry i'm with you and he was like hey man i'm just trying to find out if there's a car parked up there is there a space up there? And I was like, yes, but you matter. And I'm sorry. It's true. I feel like even our friends in our comedy community who have been like canceled or whatever, it's only online. Like if they went out in public out to eat, nobody cares. Like there's an online world and that's a part of a brain that's highlighted on social media. And

then the rest is like, cares like even like you know what the you see it in children like the children nobody cares like children of different races religions it's just fine they just play it's just bullshit but you know what i noticed bridget we didn't even introduce you everyone podcast this is somebody trying to get for a long time this is the history is where wild reality is a suggestion we just do what we want we're off the fucking rails always it's bridget fantasy even though fantasy is not her real ass name no it's not but fantasy kind of means reality is a suggestion right yeah i mean i mean it's basically a word i made up in like 2000 uh wow like one or two now at this point.

The definition then was irony doubles back on itself and becomes literal. And now, which really means when reality becomes parody or parody becomes reality. So that's the age I do feel. I feel like the culture has caught up with the term. And it was something I made up just because I feel like it always just came from those Seinfeldian moments that happened in my life where I was like,

God is absolutely laughing at all of us. Like, yeah, there has to be, even the whole thing with like Trump getting COVID, everyone got so mad because I couldn't stop laughing. And I was like, I'm sorry, like you can't write this. This is hard to write it in South Park. It's I it's not funny when people get covid, but it is funny when somebody who didn't believe in covid gets it. Yeah. It's if there's someone who deserved to get it for comedic for a comedic denouement.

It's definitely Donald Trump. See, I see it it another way i see i see that even covet is endorsing trump that's how i see it i see it's like now who you what even the pandemic is voting for him what you're not gonna i still think he's gonna win too everyone's like you're crazy by fucking landslide everyone's like it's not possible. Look at the numbers. I was like, no one, no one wants off this shit show. No one.

They all say they do, but what, what's the resistance going to do with no Trump? Obsolete. What are the never Trumpers going to do? Obsolete publishing world. Obsolete. Like MAGA.

Obsolete. Everyone. He's created an entire economy. That's a, that's a really good point. There's so many industries dependent on him being like Stephen Colbert's show will be over. Whatever's left of the Daily Show will be over. The entertainment, SNL will collapse. Yeah. That's why before, because I was saying, Giannis and I discussed a couple of weeks ago, we were like, why would the Democrats pick Biden? But I really believe it's the media companies with all that money behind it. They want Biden because if Trump loses, their careers are over.

Nobody's care. I mean, SNL would be off the air. What else can they they have nothing to talk about? No, CNN has nothing to talk about other than he's the perfect foil. And he's also the perfect like sin eater. He's the perfect scapegoat. So everybody can justify their shitty behavior by saying like, but Trump. And so without Trump and it's a lot easier to just be like, hey, blame this guy.

Blame the Republican Party. Blame everyone else and not actually have to figure out solutions to these problems. It's way easier to just like burn shit down than to be like how are we gonna fix this it seems like the left hasn't learned any lessons as to how he came to power in the first place they just keep like they double down they just keep double down on critiquing him he's not the guy he's not the guy and it's just like he no he became the guy because you guys are so fucking annoying if you had just checked your own annoyance at the door or been like had a little moment of introspection in 2016

and say how did we lose to a guy who said that china the chinese had invented global warming who i mean you know who may not have invented global warming but they did invent covid i mean that's the one that's 1,000% true. Seriously. Yeah. Same petri dishes they made Yao Ming that popped out COVID. There's no question about that. 100% true.

Yeah. Fucking, you can't prove me wrong. Yeah. No. I mean, it's Mongolian beef, coronavirus, and Yao Ming were all fucking made in the same lab. Yeah. And my fucking iPhone. Yao Ming were all fucking made in the same lab.

Yeah. And my fucking iPhone. Now, Bridget, I want to ask you because if you guys don't follow Bridget, you got to follow her. She has pinned in her Twitter profile, the article you wrote for Spectator. Like we're talking about all the negatives of social media, but it's kind of like the best of times, worst of times. There's a lot of positives to it too, right? I mean, I wouldn't exist without it so i can't i never really give a shit and somebody recently

when i was in dc i guess not recently at this point it was like a year ago they said oh this is um bridget she's a twitter celebrity and i instantly wanted to kill myself but that they're not actually that right it's it. Nobody knows me outside of Twitter. I'm not like walking down the streets. More so now just from like, if people recognize me, it's from Rogan. But they're not recognizing me from Twitter. Like you were saying, it's this very little bubble that we live in. But I would have probably lost my mind in 2015 and 2016 if I hadn't had social media because I felt so isolated ideologically.

I felt like, well, is the left going crazy or am I just losing my mind? And I had gotten sober pretty recently, so I was like, wait, was I always a conservative and I just smoked a shitload of weed? I just was smoking myself so retarded I thought I was liberal. But no, it turns out everyone moved to the left and the right opened up a little. I mean, they start talking about sex and porn and I'm like yeah no um but it's definitely there's so much shifting going on in our culture so I think that and I get emails every single day all day long now at the I am politically homeless at gmail all day people just being like thank you because yesterday was a perfect example of this the whole trump in in the limo you know like that was

unnecessary had a little bit of a north korea vibe very yeah you know felt very much like dear leaderish and okay probably going crazy without getting all the accolades he needs from his fans yeah so he did this thing but then the left being like what what what the secret service like how oh this is like you guys were fucking spitting on the secret service and throwing bottles of urine at them in dc fucking a month ago two months ago no one gave a shit about the secret service when they were standing in front of the white house getting told they were murderers all day long where was all the like what what what what about the sacred service so every everyone's bullshit right and if it was hillary they would

be like you see she's got her mask on she's socially distant she's in the car they're outside she's doing everything right because hell the queen hill, no, it is the like choosing what to have concern about. Somebody had a great tweet recently and they said, if the media is behind you, you're not the resistance. Right, right. I just want to shout out Ray Kump because he had the best tweet about- I think I might have bet him.

Yeah, his tweet about the Trump trump drive-by and it's really true and it just shows you how kind of crazy the parody of reality we live in because i think it's really cool that the fate of the largest economy in the world rests on whether or not a fat old adderall addict with covid waves to a bunch of morons from a bulletproof suv totally sustainable and it's true because when he did that and he showed that he was okay the fucking stock market jumped so we're at the point where our like our investment class and our the top cream of the crop of our economy is just waiting to see if fucking donald trump can breathe or not i I mean, they, this is when 2015 was happening. All my finance bros that

I know were like, Trump's going to win. They were the only people who were saying other than me, because Kim Kardashian made a lot of money. I'm like, this is where our culture is. They were the only one saying it because this stock market likes Trump because he's deregulating and you know, rich get richer. Um, and there, so they were saying too, if there was even a hint that Warren was going to get the nomination, like the stock market was going to crash. So even seeing something like that, like the stock market going up, I'm like, he's going to win. Like the media and the money people want him to win. He's going to win. We can all pretend we matter, but don't we're fucking peons we all

have a microphone now it's but we're all poppers and peons with a microphone that's the only difference what what percentage of the twitter like hate that you get do you think is just russian bots do you think most of it is just russian bots disguised as American haters. Like, have you ever met anybody that dislikes you personally, physically in public? Yeah, there are a lot of fucking comedians who hate me because of my politics. Yeah, but the comedians, most of them are all liberal cucks that are just trying to get fucking jobs in Hollywood. That's why they're doing that. They actually don't. If Hollywood all of a sudden was supported Trump, they would be conservative right away.

They have no spines at all. That's just the truth. You said it was that class that knew that Trump was going to win. I think comedians also knew because we'd be on Twitter, and if you said anything a little right, there would be like a mob going like, what's going on? But then when you went on the road and you performed and you were allowed to say like 10 times,

you're like, hmm, there's a little, there's a, we'll get, we'll cackle that. Don't worry. We're not going to threaten your career, but you can say our careers. Yeah. Yeah. You can work. Mine is done. Yeah. So is mine. But you can, you go on the road and it was like the crowd was not sensitive at all is my point. And there was Trump flags everywhere. And you're going like,

as much as as much as people were moving to the left in a lot of ways uh there was a lot like you said that silent majority they were moving to the right and they were attracted to trump for all different types of reason they kind of projected on trump like trump was the resistance to how far the left was going right and that's how most people see him. It was funny. It's funny hearing from some, all these politically homeless people, because a lot of them are in California or New York where,

or places where their votes don't matter. And they're like, fuck it. I'm voting for Trump just as like a protest vote against the left going insane, especially in California where it's like the policies that they're just signing as decrees are bananas. And so a lot of people are like,

yeah, I don't really like him, but I'm gonna vote for him. And I'm like, it would be hilarious because there's so many people who feel that. I'm like, it's gonna be funny when like San Francisco turns red. Just cause so many people are like, my vote doesn't matter. Fuck it, I'm voting for trump yeah it'll be everyone suddenly it's purple are you are you gonna stay in la are you gonna stay

in la are you going to are you going to texas with the rest of the politically homeless people i go back and forth texas is gonna be blue soon you know i don't wanna and i'm not one to do what like i didn't even read the harry Harry Potter books when everyone was reading them just because I was so annoyed by everyone talking about how amazing they were. They are amazing. She's a great writer. She deserves every billion. I was a little late, but, and so I'm like, I don't want to be like that with Texas too and be like, damn it. I should have, should have moved to Texas five years ago. But I was recently there. I was recently in Austin. And then I went to Arizona to check out the vibe there.

I'd still like to check out Tennessee. My biggest problem with LA is the policies. The inmates are running the asylum. I don't really see how that gets better. In order for it to get better, I'm going to have to run for office and become a part of all this shit. And I don't really see how that gets better in order for it to get better. I'm going to have to like run for office and become a part of all this shit. And I don't want to, you know, I can stay and fight, or I can just use my media platform and put all of my energy creatively into getting Gavin Newsom recalls. Cause I think it would be funny. You should move to move to

Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, where we are, because it's's just like it's a red district in blue New York. I mean, this is your speed out here. Just the bakery in our neighborhood gave out free black and white cookies when Trump won in November 2016. So if he wins again and you want some of the best black and whites you'll ever have, then you could come to 3rd Avenue and 91st Street, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. I'm going to save a cookie for you, Bridget Boo Boo. Thank you.

It's funny. I was thinking like this would be a good time to move to New York because I was reading about how rents are just, you know, collapsing and all that stuff. They're going down. And I was born in New York. It's where my family's on the East Coast. Come home, babe.

I know. There is a part of me that was thinking, like, maybe it's time to finally move. I never wanted to be poor in New York, but I feel like you can be poor in New York again. Yeah. I'm just not. I can't leave New York City. I was flirting with the idea, but I'm like, I'm just going to stay. I mean, look, it's collapsing.

The mayor sucks. The governor sucks. The Hasidic Jewish community is giving everybody COVID. But there's just nothing you can do you're just gonna have to stay in new york because jerry seinfeld said to stay in new york yeah that's what i'm doing he said to stay in new york from outside of new york from his 50 million dollar you know mansion on the in the hamptons i love when i love when anyone from the bubble of the 001% tells the poor how they're supposed to feel and behave like you guys are insulated

when I was with this rich dude we traveled all over the world and it was the most, I call it visiting the zoo of the.01% because it didn't matter where you were there was classical music playing and a sterilized environment in any country, no matter how poor or rich, like it was the same experience everywhere. You're completely insulated from any of the, any of the strife and unrest that might be happening among the commoners.

Now, how much, how much do you think of this is good though? Because like, if we all started agreeing on everything, that only really means one thing. That means we're like, we're like an authoritative nation because those nations aren't allowed. Isn't it good that we disagree? Like I try to think of that sometimes. I'm like, yeah, we're divided, but doesn't that mean, isn't that okay? Isn't that what democracy?

That's a sign you're in a democracy. Yeah. I think it's okay to the point that it doesn't slip. What my biggest issue is, and Colin Quinn said this when he was on my podcast. Fucking Bridget, I love it. Why are the extremes yelling at the center? You know why? That's my issue is that, and that to me is more of a example of negative polarization and tribalism. So that's what democracy was supposed to kind of compensate for. And up to a certain point it does. But now

when you get into these little tribes where it's like pick a tribe or die um i don't know that that's necessarily good for democracy i think that when people are eating eating the center and saying like you guys are crazy because you can see both sides isn't that the point like aren't people supposed to be using their logic and reason to evaluate. Yeah. People are insane too, because now it's like this whole movement. It's like, if you, if people say,

I don't care, you're a horrible person. If you ever even think of the idea of voting for Donald Trump. So here's the scenario, right? My mother will give you anything, Bridget, anything you want in your life.

She'll give you the shirt off her back. She'll take a bullet for you. Yanni knows what a sweet angel of a woman she is. This lady is the kindest person of all time, but she's very, very Catholic. So when the only reason why she'd ever vote Republican is because she just does not believe in abortion. She believes life. She's just, she's pro-life. That's just what it is. And the Republicans go that way. So that's how she votes. So people would say my mother, who would give you anything, the sweetest lady, because of that one thing, she sucks.

But guess what? You know who's a fucking big anti-Trump person and loves Joe Biden? Chris Watts, the guy that killed his whole family from that documentary on Netflix, American Murder, that's out right now. He killed his fucking wife and put his two kids in an oil drum. He's a Biden supporter. So a lot of our comedian entertainment friends be like well you know you have to see it from his way your mother's fucking misguided bitch so it's completely insane now and i agree that's a very

good thing the extremes are yelling at the center where it's like hey we're supposed to agree to disagree this is what america is but i mean could you imagine going on to a tv set now in la and saying i'm a trump supporter you might as well yell the n-word you'd have a better chance of getting keeping your job if you yelled the n-word than if you said i openly vote for donald trump by the way tom brady big trump supporter after i watched that documentary on netflix i thought about tom brady and what he. He cheated on his pregnant wife with Giselle, and all he did was leave and give her a bunch of money. I used to think he was a bad guy. After watching that doc, I'm like, Tom Brady is a pretty good man.

I mean, that's literally the best thing you can do in that scenario is just leave and hand her a boatload of money. I mean, killing her is bad. Yeah. That's good. Yanni, good job yanni i i i understand why i left what can you do she's just out come on they're perfect yeah yeah i mean his wife was pregnant and what can you do i mean what can you do bridget um i agree with you. You know what a big problem is, too, is our wealth gap. A lot of

that's where a lot of this anger is coming to. I mean, yeah, it's kind of getting to like French Revolution times where like the middle class is evaporating. You just have really fucking poor people and really rich. And, you know, we're getting the middle class is getting the brunt of the taxes. And it's just like that's another thing, too. People don't have money. So not only are they mad about this pandemic and that's why they hate Trump. And like you were saying before, they just want to yell at somebody because they don't want to take the blame. Like, Hey, I'm not doing well. I didn't figure out a way to adapt and survive. So now it's Trump's fault. So I think we could able to, you know, stimulate some money through the middle part of our economy that might help ease that might, Trump might be able to, you know, stimulate some money through the middle part of our economy, that might help

ease that might Trump might be able to get away with more things, but you can't be poor and be getting nothing. Well, that's, I really think most of this is the, is a class war just kind of disguises all these other things because it really isn't about, it's about your beliefs to a certain extent, but a lot of it is, I'll never forget when I got schooled on Twitter about this because everybody was going after Schultz when he wanted to run the Starbucks guy. And they're like, he's a billionaire, a billionaire is a moral failure, blah, blah, blah. And they're always going after Jeff Bezos, which I think is hilarious because, you know, don't order from Amazon.

But like the guy came up with a pretty good idea. Let's be honest. He deserves to be kind of rich. And I said, oh, would you guys go after Oprah? And they were all like, yeah. So I bet you didn't see that coming. And they all were taking I was like, oh,, wow, this is a class where it has nothing to do. This is a self-made woman who is a self-made black woman who came from nothing. And because she's a billionaire, they hate her and don't think she deserves to be president and that she doesn't deserve her billion dollars. Like, that's crazy to me. Yeah, because being a victim, there's a sense of entitlement too and being a victim it's like you know they don't they don't see it that way but it's very it's like yeah you're you're using your victimhood it's like a narcissism it's like how much do you just want us to focus on you it's like figure out your fucking life we're not all supposed to be heard from we're

not all supposed to be popular that's just not the way society's supposed to work. But now it's like somebody's weighing themselves on how many social media followers they have. And, you know, all of a sudden I'm a victim. It's like, no, you're an entitled little fuck. That's what you are. It's like the world's not supposed to break for you. I mean, people have bad days. I mean, there's eight billion people in this world. Not everyone's going to have a good fucking day. Speaking of of history this is the weird thing that i don't understand about where we are right now is like the world doesn't owe us shit no life doesn't owe us shit i don't know when this idea came about that like we were owed something by sake of being alive it should be what can we bring to life and what can I do with whatever limited time I have because I have no idea my brain might explode 20 minutes after this podcast because

I had an aneurysm looking at Twitter. Who knows? But I don't feel like the, I don't know, you know, what happened to life isn't fair. That's like a basic thing that you get taught when you're a child. Yeah. Honestly, you know what my favorite website to go to is now? It used to be a lot of other websites, but then I found God. Now it's helixsleep.com slash wild. That's where I'm going. Helixsleep.com slash wild.

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I'll tell you what, though. My bookie's got this online betting thing figured out. All you got to do is you sign up, you make a deposit, and they'll match you dollar for dollar like you've got some extra cash to play with. Plus, they've got all kinds of cash prizes and free bets. So all you do is you go to mybookie.com, you put up a bet, and then they match it. It's easy breezy beautiful cover girl. It's easy. Or you use the promo code.

Use the promo code HIENAS, H-Y-E-N-A-S, and what are they going to get? You're going to get all the way up to $1,000. They'll match you all the way up to $1,000. All you got to do is claim the deposit bonus and use the promo code H-Y-E-N-A-S, mybookie. promo code H-Y-E-N-A-S, mybookie.com slash H-Y-E-N-A-S, hyenas, and they're going to match you up to $1,000. I mean, dude, come on.

What else do you want my bookie to do? You want it to wipe your ass for you? I mean, they're giving you $1,000 cash money, okay? This is another good reason to love Sundays. Nobody likes watching football or any sport without a little juice on the game. Okay? I mean, what are you going to do? You're going to watch the NBA? What? So you can see what political stand they're taking on the back of their jerseys? No, you

want to bet. You want to bet on who's going to freaking take a knee, who's going to walk off early, who's going to yell about NBA China. That's what you want. What? NFL? I mean, there's no fans in the stand. You got to go to mybookie.com slash Ahinas. Put a little juice on the game. Tom Brady's playing football in Tampa now. You got to go to mybookie.com slash hyenas. Put a little juice on the game. Tom Brady's playing football in Tampa now.

You want to come out and see if he's got jockish because you know what it really is? Herpes. The kid's in Tampa. He wasn't getting the Yerple Nerples. He wasn't getting the Yerpes in New England. He's getting it in Tampa. So it's boring, especially with no fans. The games are boring.

That's why my bookie is saying, you know what? Spice it up. Put a little G on the game. Who cares what your wife thinks? My bookie.com slash hyenas, H Y E N A S. They're going to match you up to a thousand dollars. It's the easiest money you ever made in life. You put down a thousand, they'll match up to a thousand. My bookie. I mean, it's unbelievable. You're going to win twice the money. Okay. So why not? What else do you have to lose? Okay?

What else do you really have to lose? Nothing. MyBookie.com. Promo code Hyenas. H-Y-E-N-A-S. And it'll be great. Put a little juice on the game. Spice up your life.

The asteroid's going to hit the earth and we're all going to die soon anyway. So why not make a little money? Also, I think our age expectancy too it's like i don't know that we're designed to be living to 80 90 years old it's like the average life expectancy for most of history was your mid-30s it's like so you don't you just die before you have a chance to get really annoying like this maybe we just got too much time on our hands we got yeah that's what it is we got too much comfort and comfort. And American culture, there's no real American culture. It's more like eluding. People come here to get as much as they can and pass it on to

another generation. And then we reached this point where everyone had everything. Poor people were eating meat. And maybe this is just the natural kind of decompensation there's nowhere to go well this if you're rich or skinny and you're poor or fat that's a problem yeah yeah i was saying i was saying that that's very true i was saying this about how i feel like america is like a trust fund baby that's just self-destructing and drug addiction because they don't know how to find meaning in their life so they have to like hit rock bottom, self-inflicted wound in order to like build themselves back up. But it does feel like the country is a trust fund baby right now.

We have too much. We're Rob Kardashian. Yeah, we're Michael Douglas' kid. We're a DJ with a drug problem. Yeah, we are. Everybody, and it's funny to me that people will be freaking out about the end of the world. And I have the luxury of having a friend who's a Holocaust survivor who constantly reminds me of what it's like to actually be trying to survive. And, you know, when you're not hungry and you're not starving,

then you're, you're doing all right. If you're waking up and you're not hungry, you're going to bed. You're not hungry unless you're like starving yourself. Cause you're fat. Yeah. Um, you're that right, right there. Baseline that that's something we should all be grateful for because for most of human history people were starving yeah again Bridget like we said in the beginning of the show all these problems for the most part only exist on social media if you log off social media there's really the problems in front of you are almost non-existent. Like how many people physically in person have witnessed a crime, have witnessed brutality, have witnessed, you know, discrimination? Very, very,

very, very, very few. They all see it on TV or see it somewhere and then they get mad and they create their own reality. But physically you're, you've been fine almost every day of your life yeah it's people are it's upsetting to watch because people are actually driving I mean I see women who live on the upper east side are married to dudes in finance women in LA who literally have pools and maids and they spend all day online being absolutely crazy and melting down and freaking out about the end of the world. And I'm like, you are a crate. You're you are literally driving yourself crazy. This is not real. Well, most of these people, how has their life changed since Trump got elected? Other than they've driven themselves crazy on social media and their portfolio has gone up. Yeah. And I like that you mentioned this and I thought it was a really keen insight in your

article about the conspiracy. Are the people in the middle just the ones who need a lot of evidence before they believe a conspiracy theory? I think if you're in the middle, I think that's the challenging part is that when you're kind of getting battered and that's, what's funny, even about that tweet that I had about, um, the secret service, it's a perfect example of what happens when you even state an opinion, like what Trump did was unnecessary and gross, but nobody gave a shit about the secret service. And I'm getting piled on by all the MAGA people who are like, that was totally necessary, blah, blah, blah. And all the people on the right who are like, oh, I guess it's easy to just sit on the fence and judge everyone. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

That's what everyone should be doing. Because the problem is, is that hypocrisy doesn't exist anymore because of whataboutism. So you can keep going back forever. No one gets to be a hypocrite anymore because like I said, you can, it's like, hey, this thing that you're saying right now is hypocritical. Well, what about this? Well, what about that? Well, no, I'm talking about this moment that you, the media are having a meltdown about Trump being in a car with the secret service who, by the the way is in his probably freaking hospital room they're everywhere with him like all it's ridiculous and everyone's like well what about the fact that trump is i'm like no we but you can't accuse anyone of hypocrisy

because it's all just keep going back forever we, but everyone, but it's really not. It's just like one side acts like that. Like if you saw like the CNN and Fox news, it was like crazy where you're like, CNN is saying Trump is dying, oxygen going low. And then Fox news is like, Trump's going to Walter Reed hospital for precautionary measures. So it's like everybody's living in these two realities that they both, you know, exist for real to them. And everybody leads with emotions, not facts. So it doesn't matter. People get so upset at each other. They're like, why doesn't this person understand? It's like, well, because it's emotions. They don't care about the facts. I could tell you the sky is blue,

but if your emotions are telling you it's red, then to you it's red. And that's just what it has to be. So I think, you know, it's becoming like, yeah, we're not a United States. I mean, it's pretty clear. I mean, Florida is wide open right now, living life and New York and California are probably going to get shut down again for the foreseeable future any day. And we're not open. Yeah, I know. I was in California for three weeks. I was like, what is this? Like, it's COVID hysteria, even though I was around three people with COVID. But it was still hysteria. Do you think we're all guilty, though?

Because what's really happened is the most entertaining thing has won out. So just hearing Walter Cronkite tell you what the news is just doesn't get the numbers that, like, Jon Stewart or Tucker Carlson get and we're all so guilty for that because we click on that stuff of course we want you know when somebody tells the truth you know you go like come on spice it up you've given us a long day it's stupid we want to be lied to we want we want to believe in a savior that rose from the dead. People just like being bullshitted. Well, a couple of things. I think like the, the idea I've been, if you are in the middle or you're independent or you're kind of like,

fuck both sides, you are, you are, it is like living in two Americas simultaneously. And I think that is a, you know, they, they say that you're a sign of intelligence is to be able to hold two opposing views at one time. So I think most people are trying to do that. It's, you know, they're trying to work shit out and find, remain intellectually honest. But I think that's fucking hard when you have everybody yelling at you. And it's also much that cognitive dissonance. There are moments where you're like, I feel like seeing those two screens

and the way they're presented and realizing that 40 million people, 100% believe what you're watching on CNN and another 40 believe Fox. You're like, wow, I, I feel like I'm going crazy. So I think it's actually easier to just, I don't, I don't, I'm jealous of anybody who's just like all in. There's, I look at anyone who's like, we are, and the funny thing too, is they both think that like the other side is the downfall of America. You know, they're like, we're fighting for the soul of America. And they both believe this and they both believe the other side is evil. And that would be a really comforting, easy place to be, I think. It's all the same message. It's like the left is all about equality and the right is all about freedom. It's, they're both, they're both very problematic things.

They're both things that probably can't happen.'re both utopian ideas they're just they're they're it's the same issue they're just taking different routes to get there yeah that's why i'm fully i'm just fully in the middle you know but you need both you need both yeah yeah and i i think but the the my biggest my biggest gripe with the culture right now is not that there are these two sides. The reason I live in the middle, people are like, oh, it must be nice. I'm like, yeah, that's why I'm in the fucking middle because I can understand where both sides are coming from. I can see why people on the right believe what they believe and people on the left, I get it. I can understand. I've had enough conversations with people from all across the political spectrum to understand why they might believe what they believe. And also whatever their factory settings

are informs that. Every single person who emails me and tells me about their story of migration from right to left, left to right, whatever it might be, they tell me about what they were raised with. So much of it is geographic. So much of it is what you believed when you were a kid. One guy told me that he's a little bit more center now, and he cried when Obama was elected when he was eight. And he's like, looking back, that was kind of weird. Yeah. I was raised very liberal, and I live in a liberal place. It makes sense that I'm reacting and kind of coming to the center. But it's the demonizing of the people who are demonizing each other. I don't think that's good.

You can say that it's fine to be like, we both see things differently, but let's try and find some compromise. That's not happening. It's my way or the highway. And demonizing anybody as an independent. My friend lost a friend the other day because she said she wouldn't vote. And her friend dumped her. Not even I'm voting for Trump, just not voting. And this person was a liberal and they said, we can't be friends. That's fucking crazy. I'm sorry. I don't know. It's entitlement narcissism. It's what it is. It's mental illness. It friends like that's fucking crazy I'm sorry it's entitlement narcissism it's what it is it's mental illness it's that's it just keeps it's like that keep loop it's like you're a fucking narcissistic fucking entitled fuck who cares who I vote for you know it's like you want

me to step in your world and play your games always because you want this whole thing to be about you and people don't get that I do think it's important though that there, and I hear this constantly because I just hear people who write to me and they're like, thank you. I'm sure you guys get the same kind of mail. Like, thank you.

I don't feel alone. I don't feel like I'm crazy. I think it's important that people who are standing in this weird space to be a part of either tribe are continue to just be like, no, we're not partaking in this because it's a false choice. It's not a choice between communism and socialism. That is a false choice. It's a, there, there's a choice to, that is a political choice that has been made up, but you can step back and say, I choose to try and see, you know, to be in the people who are trying to actually find solutions to these things and

compromise because we have to do that. Is there a way out of this or is it just a rabbit hole that continues to spiral down into extremism where people don't listen to each other. I believe that we, that the voices in the middle, I think Rogan's a good example of this. I've told him this, that, you know,

I think on the last time on his podcast, I was like, you're holding the line in the center, just holding that space and seeing how big his audience is like that, that space exists. People are allowed to be, you're allowed to be confused right now. That's what people, you know, that space exists. People are allowed to be, you're allowed to be confused right now. That's what people, you know, people have been taking, you're not supposed to,

you're allowed to not know what the future holds. You're allowed to not know where you land on something. You don't have to carry water for one team and do all these mental gymnastics. You know, the people who are telling, like, I'll have people on the right who are like, oh, you just, this just means that you don't have any principles. I'm like, or you have to do a shitload of mental gymnastics and self-justification because you've abandoned all your principles to be on a team. So, you know, people who are trying, who are confused and, a team. So, you know, people who are trying, who are confused and, and trying to find their way, I think that that is the majority. When you look at, there was a great graph about what people thought America looked like, where it was like half red, half blue in the voter, you know, pool,

but it's really like 40 million, 40 million red million red 40 million blue and then a hundred million voters who just don't vote right it is the majority of people who either aren't partaking don't give a shit that's me i just don't fucking care and they will join your patreon that hundred million will join your patreon patreon.com slash bay ridge boys folks yeah yeah i couldn't care less that's the thing i i know i just want to be on i don't care about the fucking issues i genuinely don't care i made my life small i got my fucking daughter my family i don't give a fuck it's like yeah i'm sorry the fucking koala bears are dying in australian bushfires i really i don't want that shit but things die how am i in new york gonna fucking

stop that how am i gonna stop fucking injustices in fucking vienna i don't know dude the world's too big just shut up you're gonna take your shirt off you fucking suit up you go out to california you fight that fucking fire that's what you fucking do yeah you're american will you fucking go there and you help those koala bands. Yeah, Jesus wants California. Jesus wants Los Angeles out. I mean, he constantly lights it on fire. He constantly is saying, I do not support the gays. Yeah.

I would never claim to know what Jesus is saying. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Wait, Sean Sheehan. I'm fucking joking. Yeah, but he definitely, he is setting California on fire a lot. Yeah. They're annoying. I actually think they're fucking fully charged.

I think that's less Jesus and more PG and E, but that's another, another topic. Yeah. No, do you want the wall or no? There's no, this is the other conversation that I had.

I had a conversation with my, um, my therapist because now I've become her therapist because all the people coming to her are coming to her and talking about culture war stuff. And she's like completely apolitical as she should be and doesn't really know what's going on. So she's like, what are the proud boys? I'm like, oh my God, why are people talking? She's like, they think they're going to come to their house and take their house. The Proud Boys are coming. No, no, they're not think they will.

And we're going to be proud to do it. I'm just kidding. And she so she was, you know, she's like, everyone thinks they're a civil war. I'm like, you need to push them to define what that looks like in reality because nobody can actually do that because it's not red states versus blue states it's it's like valencia versus la you know like go to go outside of new york city and it's like mega country oh yeah everywhere everywhere that's what we're saying as comedians we kind of knew i mean i had a feeling in 2016 he had a good chance of winning because yeah new york and la san francisco like you said uh urban areas like texas may turn blue because of cities like austin and it just seems like it's

country and yeah it's rural versus urban yeah it's become sort of that because it's two completely different cultures one goes to bass pro shop and the other one goes to Micro Breweries. And guess who's going to fucking win and survive? I've been saying this. Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Bass Pro. Always.

I was saying that I drove around America in 2006 right after I started my company. I did like a road trip and I spent three weeks in Oklahoma. And I was like, these are the people who know what's up. They know they've got food frozen for years. They've got guns. When they get headaches, they go shoot coyotes because it's just their way of relieving stress. It was, we were like, you know, rafting down the Ozarks. And it was so fun. But I was like, the paper pushing city folk are not going to stand a chance. These are the people who are going to survive when the shit goes down. They're ready. Yeah. None of us are.

Yeah. Do you think people will ever admit that a lot of their activism is is is self-interested? I even admit like when we all tweet we're all doing it for attention It's probably like 70 percent of the motivation of anyone who's doing anything online is for their own attention So we're all acting like we care about these causes But we really just care about getting bigger because it's we need the followers to make money I don't I like. I tweet to annoy people. By the way, Bridget, I just want to let you know, your foot did just make the shot,

so our fans will screenshot that. Yeah. Do you want us to edit that out? Because they will screenshot your feet and put it on WikiFeed immediately. I'm on WikiFeed already. Oh, great. All right, so you can just be prepared, guys. Get the lube out Bridget's feet about 48 minutes in

added to the i have a whole video of me discovering that i was on wiki feed on youtube because it's they somebody took the ugliest pictures i broke my toe and they put them on the wiki feed and i was just mad that they were putting like it's like a my pinky is literally like like out to the right completely it's like the internet the internet sexualizes women they take pictures of your feet and guys they just like make you look even more horrible there's pictures of me with one eye eyebrows like this dirty right now look yeah they're like yanni hard don't do that they're they're like orphan feet they look pretty clean it just looks like you're walking around that you know walk around the house barefoot yeah they're pretty dirty right now listening to natalie merchant just

fucking drinking some coffee i have been listening to natalie because your apartment yeah your apartment looks like natalie merchant's on right now. It just has that vibe. Yeah. It's – wait, there's the dog. Where is she? She actually came in through the door during the show. Oh, there she is. There she is. Look at her.

That's hope-a-dope. Bridget, do you have kids? I don't. No, I don't. I'm the oldest of five kids in my family, which, and all of them have kids. Right now, your living situation is you and the dog. Yes. You and the dog and the Twitter. Yeah.

It's, um, uh, yeah, I never, it's funny. I wanted five boys. I just never met the right man I guess hey listen we got a fan of our show his name's Richie G this kid makes serious fucking money he loves you if you're interested

this fucking guy we let our fans at patreon.com slash Bray Rich Boys the $25 members or $50 members they can zoom call in this guy's got a fucking high-rise condo somewhere in Kansas City. Richie, babes, if you want us to hook you up with Richie G, we can hook you up with Richie G.

Yeah, you'll have a lot of money. The only problem is you guys... He's got so much fucking money and he probably shares a lot of your political opinions. He votes to the right. Yeah, I mean, if you're okay living in Kansas city, he could be the one.

It's real America. I don't know. It's funny. I feel like I'm, I guess I, I'm not too old yet for kids, but I'm pushing that. I'm pushing the edge.

Like, but then I go talk to my doctor and she's like, Oh no, we have women who are having kids up until 50. So I, Oh yeah. I mean, I wasn't your mom once you had you. She was she was 43, which, you know, it's just fucking 50.

It's the same shit. I'll be 42 in November. So, girl, you don't look over 27. I'm pushing the edge. I'm pushing. Oh, no. You could nowadays you could put a baby in somebody else. They adopt an Asian kid.

You could do anything, yeah. I want to adopt a little opioid baby, like one of the opioid orphans. A little opioid crack baby, yeah. Well, because I'm sober and that's something I am passionate about. There's so many kids who have been orphaned. You know, there's also... Chris is laughing. There's also... Op's also there is a decent point to be made to not have kids now like i feel like

even my child and my mom's in my in my i called her my mom that's a freudian slip my wife's belly wow yeah somebody takes care of somebody and it's you taking care of me it was the feet pictures wasn't it but i feel like she probably like the my daughter in her belly probably hears what's going on in the world and doesn't want to come out i mean she's gonna have to learn chinese from the first day she steps out of here i'm gonna start showing her little chinese letters and say figure it out it's a little more complicated than our alphabet yeah but start counting those sticks babe because you're gonna be working for the chinese dude my daughter's five years old in kindergarten now and they're teaching her mandarin which i'm happy about i'm like fucking teach dad mandarin will be the new

lingua franca soon yeah yeah great i don't i feel like um again that feels to me very social media worry like people were having kids during the black plague and literally one out of four people were dying around them and they were on the streets and people were still just like let's do this so i don't know that thing we still still have better medicine than ever. We still, we still have it better than ever. And that's when I see like the left being like, we should, you know, it's, it's socially and irresponsible to have children and it's irresponsible for the, from the environment perspective. And I don't know, I think like mother nature will shake us off like fleas. If there gets to be too many of us.

There's a natural intelligence that will be like, no, you're taking too much. There's too many of you. A lot of you need to die. And we will. This was like pandemic light. I mean, as far as- God's really got to step it up over there in India and China then. As far as pandemics go this was a pretty

this was a pretty light one i think yeah well the second wave yeah saying yeah dr ouchie found she says the second wave's coming we'll see we'll see how it goes just global mind control yeah feels like i feel like the second wave was the protest the new world order that was whatever they whatever they call it i almost called that the black plague but it's fucking racist and also we don't know i mean the the virus could have started like three years ago and it only just leaked out from wuhan like now and it could be like there could be like 20 million dead in Wuhan, but we'll never know because it's like a close society. Yeah. You're fucking lucky dude that we're not in studio because your face. I don't know if it's a camera, but you fucking don't have a haircut. You have a shave face and your fucking front chin

start to look like a butt now. And I want to fucking wipe it and punch you in the fucking butt chin you're getting fat fat fat yeah i've put on a couple of pounds no it's about 30 this is a true story i i went i did shows this weekend and and I got nauseous you collapsed the stage you fat fuck I know well what this is a true story actually the jeans I was wearing they were so tight I had to squeeze into them I got nauseous on stage so I went to the Banana Republic the next day to buy new pants and I was trying to convince myself I was a 32 so I actually like tuck tuck my penis between my legs I was trying to tuck everything in to squeeze into a 32 and then i just had to go buy maternity jeans and i did the rest of the weekend in maternity jeans i'm fat but you're 34 i'm a 38 right now are you 38 welcome

to the club i'm a 38 but i tried everything to resist because i'm naturally a 32 but yeah i've blown the fuck out but you got a little butt. That's the thing with you, Yanni, is your weight, nothing goes to your butt. Yeah, my butt is not, it's all in my gut, my face. Bridget, do I look fat to you? Just because you shaved your face, it's infuriating.

It's infuriating me. Bridget, anytime he shaves his face, because he does his characters, Maurice and Mr. Pano, so he can't have face trouble, but when he shaves his face, it doesn't cut uh maurice said mr panos so he doesn't he can't have facial but when he shaves his face it doesn't cut his sideburns or his hair and his face comes in there and it looks like a chocolate chip muffin i want to fucking eat him i i've never seen either one of your faces before so it's this is my first impression yeah i'm leading man face best friend body i have i have a body of one of your friends i look like i look like a woman named bridget from the neck down yeah it's funny he looks i don't

know what that means but thank you no you know like just i don't know i'm fucking i'm 45 year old divorcee my name's barbara from the neck down but from the face up i'm you know fucking whatever i am a divorcee it's true do you hang out with more liberals or more conservatives um i think i hang out with more people who are in that weird space what do you guys do we have you know normal dinners and conversations and laugh about life and uh yeah just uh normal things that friends do talk about funny stories and family anecdotes so you don't so you don't poke antifa with american flags or put on pussy hats and yell at people no yeah i'm not i'm not an activist i've never i don't have that in me i thought i did in my 20s maybe for like a minute and then I decided smoking weed and drinking was a lot more fun.

I feel like we have that in common with you in that we kind of represent the normal people. We have people who love Trump. We got people who don't love Trump who all follow us. I've even seen on our Reddit. I ventured on our Reddit once in a while because that's dangerous. Yeah. They always like they try to figure out what me and Chris are because we, we've actually made a point to be like,

look, we're comedians first. Like we like to make fun of everything and get, we're normal people. We're out there being honest about, like you said, we're all hypocrites and some things we're conservative about. Some things we're liberal about,

like the wall, Chris wants it, but you know, there's certain things that he's very liberal about. I'm fucking, look, I'll go to a protest. I'm the kind of guy, I will absolutely show up at a protest to support your cause, but if you don't have a passport, I'll call ICE.

So that's what it is. You better be next to me and the protest with a valid US passport. So that's just what it is. And that's who we are as a podcast. Down the middle. I think we should all have health care i think we should have socialized health care as an option for everyone medicare for

all i believe in that but i also just bought a gun because i moved to the country and if you come anywhere close to my house i'm fucking squeezing the trigger get off my property god damn it yeah yeah yeah how it is what are some of you what are some of your liberal beliefs and conservative beliefs so i'm i'm pro-choice to a point because again i feel like i woke up out of a coma when i got sober and then stumbled into the culture war and like i didn't know it was up until five months i thought it was three months first trimester i'm like, okay, a lot goes wrong in the first trimester. And I think that it's okay. I still wrestle with this too, by the way. I was raised Catholic and I feel like the older I get, the more pro-life I get just personally, but I wouldn't want to take that choice. Like it's that weird thing

of liberty meeting my liberty, personal liberty versus another baby's liberty. And it gets very confusing. And I think it's a nuanced conversation that nobody wants to have, but most people land kind of like 80% where I land, which is, you know, first trimester. And then I was like, five months? Five months? That's a baby. Right. Crazy.

You know, like that. There are babies that live at 21 months that have, I think, the youngest. So, and the technology is only getting better. Dude, ALC, she wants to kill kids in pre-K. She doesn't give a fuck. That's like communism, though. I was about to think, alsoris watts you gotta say kids definitely pro-choice at least yeah so yeah that in that respect i would say i'm i have a liberal belief

health insurance is a really health care is an interesting one because i have a lot of friends who are in europe and they come here for their health healthcare often because they're too busy waiting for shit to happen over there. So, you know, we do have some of the best healthcare in the world. I have no idea how to fix that problem. I believe in helping people who need help who didn't get the same start. You know, I think that not everybody is born. What is that saying that people, Republicans are people who think were born on third base

and think that they were born on, they hit a triple or something like that. So I think that help recognizing, you know, where I got, because it's all luck. It's all luck. I could have been born, I could be doing,

making bricks in Pakistan right now. Like I, that it's just such a crapshoot and recognizing that and trying to use that to help people as much as I possibly can. I, I, you know, I have, I have weird causes that I'm like, that I do donate to and I'm kind of obsessed with like Syria. What's gone on in Syria is to me, just the lack of coverage and what's happened to the people in Syria is just egregious. And there's so many orphans and so many refugees. That's like a weird thing that I'm just obsessed with.

That's really a Hillary mess, isn't it? That's really a Hillary Obama. Yeah. And I sponsor three kids, you know, like little just i have those three little orphan kids that i sponsor families that i sponsor i do things like that so i've just picked things and you know there's big it's hard though because i'm also very cynical and i worked on a lot of weed farms where there's a lot of talk about big ngo and like

how it's all a scam. And the letter I'm getting from my kid is really just some like dude down in Guatemala who wrote, drew an ugly picture of a chicken and sent it to me that said Pollo. And then they sent me pictures of the kids and they're getting kind of chubby. And I'm like, eh, kind of want my starving orphans to stay, not, not to be getting obese obese i don't want to be creating another problem yeah feed him but not too much just a little bit just a little bit i'm gonna get one picture one day he's gonna be missing a foot be like all right we gotta and you just gotta come back on his allowance you're going like

all right he's eating too good can we go back to a dime from a quarter i would love to save the world if i you know i do have that i'm a bleeding heart for sure i want to save everyone every email i get i want to respond to from people who are in distress addiction and mental health are some of the things that i really care about i wrote for playboy for years and people are struggling in the love and relationship department. Men and women are having a really hard time and things right now that got completely pushed to the side and the political shit show that we're now engaged in and people can't date anymore because of their policy. I mean, it's, there's so many bigger issue umbrella issues that I'm, um, and I think I lean left socially. I don't really, I don't really give a shit, but I want small um and I think I lean left socially I don't really I I don't really give a shit but I want small government and I want um I like guns and I you know a woman wrote me and she's like

how come there isn't a party that represents a pro-choice woman who loves guns and I was like yeah amen sister and I think a lot of people that would be I guessarian, but I think they're kind of crazy too, aren't they? I'm learning about them. They're a little like, yeah, I mean, it's like everyone's a libertarian and then their business fails and then they guys secretly take that socialist spell out. Right, right, right. Like all these restaurants, I love all these restaurants, at least in New York, they were all fucking green.

We're green in 2019. And then it got fucking decimated. And now guess what? You go in there, they got plastic straw straws they don't get turtles anymore because they need to cut they need to make them the ends i got i got one too expensive i got one i'm real curious about uh jk rawlings are you are you in support of what she says oh i'm i'm a turf i guess i mean i'm i'm way like i don't again i don't care what you want to identify as, but you don't get to take spaces that are made for women,

all the men going to prison that, or the trans women going to prison who are, you can just in California. Now you can just identify when you get there. Like that's fucked up. That this seems like women are being put on the back. I've been doing jokes about this for years. Like the patriarchy is so crafty. They'll turn themselves into a woman and demand rights that women don't even have.

And this is actually what's happening. And I don't care. I don't want, I don't like discrimination. I don't want people to be beat up for anything, whether they're a Trump supporter, whether they're, whether they're a AOC supporter,

whether they're, I don't think political violence is okay, but I, I also don't, I don't like, um, like when you see like the trans woman in rugby, you're like,

come on, come on. We've fucking lost our minds. Like that's, that's a bridge too far for me. That's not again, not care. And having a women's,

um, like sports records being erased. That's, I don't, I'm not okay with that. I'm just so yeah, I land. It's crazy that we live in a world where some people not listening to this podcast, but some people could hear what you just said and deem that as controversial, even though that's the most normal, appropriate, mature level headed thing to say.

You'd have people and those people are the ones who are insane but they just have a voice now because it's stupid fucking social media and mark zuckerberg i i just mark zuckerberg it's funny too that mark zuckerberg has become like i've been saying it's like the dell web community online it's like this like for me twitter is vegas it's where everyone goes to be the shittiest version of themselves. And Facebook is like a Del Webb senior community where people go to retire. So funny.

Yeah, it's true. Instagram is like the suburbs. You know, it's like the drunk wine moms. If Trump really wants to get that suburb vote, he needs to be on Instagram making videos about wine parties and book clubs. Instagram.

Are you going to do stand up? I want to. You know, I took it. It's funny because I was grinding and then I started writing for Playboy, still grinding and then i shifted away from it when i started becoming more open on twitter because everywhere i was going um there were comedians who had unfollowed me blocked me or hated me in the comedy so i started getting very insecure i i probably just shouldn't care but i started feeling really um i get like emotional i i talk about this uh cry cry cry it'll be a good clip for us yeah i mean you showed your feet if you cry we're going to a hundred thousand

come on cry so we can retweet a pimp get this thing ready all right bridget tell what think about the dog and what do you have to say baby and everyone mad at you and six month abortion six month abortion it was it was just I felt alone you know that feeling of being like ostracized and alone and losing friends and people that I respected was hard but so I took a break and I just kind of pivoted out of the

IRL comedy and just started doing dumpster fire my little YouTube show and focusing on my podcast. And thank fucking God I did because I would be fucked right now if I had been spending all that time. And I just focused on writing. But the thing I've realized the most about being locked down is how much I miss just getting on stage in front of people. And it's hard to work shit out in LA because the audience is not my audience. This is another reason I kind of want to move somewhere.

That's a little more purple. Right. Cause how are you working stuff out about like, you know, anything, anything like this where you're like in the middle or joking about it or anything. And you're in front

of an audience that wants to have like claptor. And it's sad because we're all kind of doing that. We're all just retreating to like the comfort because we're like, we just don't want to deal with it anymore. Like, you just don't want to deal with having to listen. People go like, you're on notice for saying what you said, Bridget, even though you foster, even though you foster children in third world countries and help feed them. You said a word that made me feel very uncomfortable. So you should leave Los Angeles and go where your people are. Where could people find you? Wait, before we do that, Chris, I just, there's one,

I'm very curious about this. I was waiting towards the end cause I know it's big. I saw Candace Owens quote tweet you. Oh boy. She kind of went at you a little bit. Just tell me about that and how you feel about that and your opinion. She does that a lot, which I'm fine with. You know, I can't – it's funny when her followers come after me

because they're all like – she is like – she has – it's like she's catnip for boomers. You know, her followers are like, they're, they're truly like, it's, it's like every, she's every conservative over 70s black friend. You know, they all, they all talk about her. If you go talk to like your older conservative family members, if you have any, they're going to be like, oh, well, Candace Owens said. So she's doing a lot. I think my biggest gripe with her is how, I think my biggest gripe with her is that she could be actually

moving the needle and shifting the culture in a way that talks about these really nuanced problems. There are a lot of black conservative women, which I think is one of the most interesting. I mean, you want to talk about a minority. It's like one of the most interesting spaces to occupy. And they're having conversations about racism and also conservative values. Whereas I feel like she just has this tendency to be like racism doesn't exist. And that does a disservice to the conversation, but it also makes her way more money because boomers love hearing that shit. Racist boomers, people I know who are kind of

racist will be like, oh, Candace Owens said this. I'm like, yeah, but I've heard you say racist shit. I know you're a racist. It's somewhere in your heart. So my, I don't, I love her hustle. I respect, I think she has, I, we agree on a lot of things when it comes to the no victimhood, when it comes to a lot of the ways that women and the male and female relationships and women's pretending to be victims and having no agency. But I think she's quick to throw the black community under the bus. That tweet that she had about Breonna Taylor where it was like, oh, she's engaged in criminality. Like, okay, so you believe in due process and everybody being guilty until proven innocent other than this case or when they're caught,

like it just is a, it just feels like an intentionally and she's making a shitload of money. And that's where you make the money. You don't make money. Like there isn't, it's easier. And yeah, come on,

Candace, which girl hasn't dated a guy who dealt a little drugs in the side who had that good dick. We've all made bad choices. That didn't mean she deserved to get fucking shot in her own home i agree with you yeah so it's it's a weird thing when you i'm so used to pylons um that that it just i i don't even and i have a thing where i'll just be going back and forth and then i'll close my computer and leave you know and people will be like you abandoned that debate i'm like this is a fucking debate I'm not gonna stay

here and fight with anyone I'm just gonna close my computer and walk my dog that yeah go live your life yeah everyone go live your life do pushups that's a great that's a great jump that's a great way for us to leave because just go do it go live

your life where can people find you on Twitter at Bridget Phetasy. I have a website, Phetasy.com, and you can subscribe to that. And it's a great community. I work out with the ladies on there. We do Zoom workouts. We share our goals. We have Zoom calls.

It's super fun. Little fans only page? A little bit like that. No, I'm kidding. And then we do a YouTube show, Phetasy. Go subscribe on the Phetasy YouTube channel. And I have a podcast,

Walk-Ins Welcome, which you can find anywhere. And that's it. Yeah. And check out her Rogan episodes. They're great. Me and Chris are such big fans, man. You're so funny.

I'm a fan of you guys. So thank you. We've been wanting to do this for so long, and it worked out via Zoom. You both have to come on my podcast now. That's the deal. Oh, yeah. The crossover event. Anytime.

Thank you for showing your feet on here. We're going to get a big, big boot. That's going to be a big – it's like having a celebrity on. Thank you. Yeah. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. If you want to see Bridget's feet early, there they are.

Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. ChristyComedy.com for dates. GiannisPapasComedy.com for dates. HistoryHyenas.com. We got a whole bunch of shit there, so thank you so much. Bridget, you were excellent. This was fascinating. Thank you. Thank you. Enjoy Bridget Fantasy, and here's the Patreon

names, folks. What a fun episode. Glad to get her off. I mean, go play with your dog. I mean, the older you get with no kids and animals, the fucking crazier you get. Wei Zhongzhen. Yeah. It's what it is.

I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Can we do a couple of answers to that? Here we go. First off, David Primack, $3 Bill Clinton, Megan Ghent. Wait a second. $3 Bill Clinton. Throw them on the list.

I'm sorry. You want to just read them because we got 500? Well, no. We're going to do 100. Okay. So then we got Megan Ghent. Then we got when Yanni P's eyes collide, it will be the end of the world as we know it. Yeah, throw them on the list.

List. Then we got Father Bill's Beef Bayonet Glue on Chrissy's Leather Cheerio. Then we got Marisa, Chrissy's Mom 2020. Eric Doverak, Cat Thicky, but not really in the good way. It's what it is, land. Sam, not the $3 Bill Smith. William. land. Sam, not the $3 bill, Smith. William, then we got Chrissy Lotlizard and

Yanni the Suvaki Jockey 69 like the Mets. Throw him on the list. Then we got Father $3 bill, gave me a poke, so look for the white smoke, ladder 14. Okay. Yanni Fumad and Chrissy Cum Dumpster will crack you open and clean you out, Yas.

Justin, Father Bill took me physically into the holy water. Way Sean King. Way Sean King, that's an old one, right? That's a winner. That's a winner. They must have upgraded, right? Yeah, that name is a legendary. There's going to be a bench with that name on it in your honor.

You're going to have a park bench named after you. Eric Shelley. Then we got Jaden, always tucked and draped in that red white and blue then we got jimmy from philly we say wood or silly and i take chris's therapy physically non-toothpaste character piece body nick anastasia mike schnabel zach adam smith two in my feet until i can afford the Timmy Dillon meet and greet, poor Mac Bailey. List. Mike the Sauce Monkey married a muzzy, now my Italian cousins think I joined ISIS,

Yanni Biden 2020. Put him on the list front runner, front runner. Mike D, Samantha Santos, Whitney Fumeston. Put it on the list. List. Reverse banana hammock. Then we got Yanni wears chancletas because he likes the way they spank his feet when he walks. Hashtag bad boy.

The way he spanks his feet when he walks, that is creative. Throw him on the list. List. Taylor Forsman. Then we got my teeny weeny peeny pisses hot wee wee. Is Chrissy Teigen still reading this? Jeffrey Epstein never died. Throw him on the list.

Wow. List. Tyler Colpitts. Then we got Yanni Chobani gives me wet ass punani. What did Giuliani do with the homeless? We got that guy already. We had that one already, right? Yeah, yeah.

I think he might have won. Are we doing an old list by accident again? I mean, Venetia's back from Greece. She's still on. She's got. She's got. She's on the. She's on Greek time.

We haven't done this list? Maybe. I don't remember. Okay, well, let's just do it. Jason Polish squeak with a musty piece. Chris in. Jessica DeSanto. Chris, I ain't remember. Okay, well, let's just do it. Jason Polish squeak with a musty piece, Chrison. Jessica DeSanto. Chris, I ain't a squeak, and I'd like to take a peek at Chrissy D's piece like Father Bill.

A.C. Slater. Eric Kleinschmidt. Jenna McCollum. Corey Pakola. Enigma soundtrack while Father Bill anoints Chrissy's skin-tagged crack. Father Bill's, I think, Father Bill, we may have run the gamut with Father Bill. Yeah, it may not be able to, I mean, to come with a Father Bill, it's gonna gotta take a,

it's gotta be unbelievable. Yeah, like Father Bill Clinton, that was a good one. Thomas tucks it back while his dad tickles his sack castle. Josh getting a blowie from a cuz he can't shoot glue in a toot, but can fill Father's $3 bill shoes.

Robert Tito, Dylan Pacheco, $3 and that's it. Calm, good grief, I got Veneti as queef of my teeth, O'Keefe. Hey, we don't support that. Yeah, throw him on the list. This is an old list? Veneti is now saying this is an old list. Yeah, it sounds like an old list. She recognizes that because she probably got a secret dm from that guy yeah okay read 10 more okay we're gonna read 10 more and figure this out we were on vacations people

were in greece people were out of state people are having babies people working work and elsewhere we got a lot of things going on. So just fucking relax, matriarchy. Austin Roberts. Garrett Henson. Caleb the Dime Chaser, but fuck Nickelbanger. Nathan Smith. Brian, the priest cracked me open and cleaned me out. It felt all right.

McPike. I actually like that one. He's a Drexler. First Drexler. Then we got Amy Fumer presents Father Bill and Ted's Fully Charged Adventure. That's the way you do it. Okay, guys, if you want a how-to manual, that's the way you do it. If you're going to do a Father Bill, you got to come strong like that. Frontrunner. Frontrunner. Mario hooked on Phonics Delgado. Sack. Kim Hexter. Then we got Willie. Fume Gazy is my 9-11. Martin. Luke Holland.

Emma. Ryan, a.k.a. On My Knees for Chrissy's D. Cincinnati White, but talks like a now mean hunter. Okay, then stop there. All right. I think the winner probably is Amy Fumer Presents, right? Yeah's uh just came in came in at the end and yeah just took it yeah yeah winner winner winner chicken dinner winner chicken so thank you guys we hope you enjoyed bridget we we really had a good time with her and um thank you so much man um great review us Review us on iTunes. Turn on your notifications on YouTube.

Tell your friends about the History Aisnes. Okay. And then here we go. We got the Patreon tier auction. Just want to let you know we're auctioning off our tier to be named after you. And it's going to be named after you. Patreon.com slash Spare Ridge Boys. You'll get access to every other tier except the Tim Dillon one.

And get a shout out on every history in his podcast, including weapon in the morning, conspiracy cuties and our socials for the month of November. Share with us and we'll read your personalized message on the potty. If it's a local business, your personal IG handle, or just a shout out about how wild you are, we'll read it. So that's the new Patreon auction tier. Guys, we're auctioning off a tier for you to become our sole sponsor, our partner. You got a business. You got a small company. You got money. Whatever it is, it's yours.

You are the history hyenas is presented by you. So go auction. Have fun. If nobody does it, then nobody does it. But we figured, you know what? We want to support small businesses again. So if you're a small business and you want the advertising, you want it to go out to, you know, a lot of thousands and thousands and thousands of people, go join up.

What can you do? There you go, guys. All right. And also, Jan, do you have any dates coming up or nothing because the babes? Got the baby coming up. So nothing, but I will be back on the road in 2021 hard, and we're doing things in a different way in 2021. In a different way. So 2021, Check Yanni's coming. I still have – I got some dates coming up. We got Yarmouth driving in Cape Cod, Massachusetts,

and the Queen Wilmington in Wilmington, Delaware. I believe it's going to be right now, October 24th, 25th, Andrew Santino. We have to move our dates that were coming up October 8th to the 11th for some unforeseen circumstances, but we will get those back on the books. Butler, Pennsylvania, Scranton, Pennsylvania, I think are going to be moved, but Wilmington, Delaware and Cape Cod, Massachusetts should be happening October 24th, 25th. We'll send an email, get all the tickets, or your tickets are still good. October 23rd, Wallth. We'll send an email, get all the tickets. Are your tickets are still good? October 23rd, Wall Street Theater, Norwalk, Connecticut.

I'll be doing a live show streaming online. Anywhere you are in the world, you can buy tickets. That's October 23rd, 8 p.m. Buy the tickets now. You're going to have access to the live stream for a day. So go get the tickets. And then we got November 5th to the 7th, House of Comedy in Phoenix, and November 19th to the 21st,

Punchline in Philly. Okay? ChristieComedy.com, HistoryIanis.com. Also get some merch. We got some nice merch up there. Get a Reality is a Suggestion t-shirt for the big election.