History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 173 - Harry Houdini was WILD!

Episode Date: October 21, 2020

Hyenas are back for another episode and this one is about the great magician Harry Houdini. Yannis is at home right now because he’s waiting for his beautiful baby girl to be born and Chris is in the studio in Bay Ridge Brooklyn!! Yannis isn’t sure if he will bring his new B - A - B - I trick or treating this year. But Chris is sure to be celebrating Halloween with his kids and might actually hand out black and white cookies to his trick or treaters!Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas of course discuss the dope tricks that Houdini performed, specifically his life-threatening ones that make no mistake were freaken WILD!!! Harry Houdini is a screwed in SQUEAK from Hungary that moved to The best city in the world, New York City!! He traveled the world doing tricks such as The Metamorphosis, Water Torture Cell, or the Milk Can Escape. He was no stranger to escaping locked handcuffs or jail cells, Cuzzie was talented!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Big shout out today to Helix Sleep. Take their two-minute sleep quiz, and they will match you a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at helixsleep.com slash wild. That's helixsleep.com slash wild. All right, everyone. Another episode of History.

Hi, Hines. We're going to do an episode about an Italian kid, Harry Houdini. Giannis Pappas is in the Zoom at any moment. His wife could give birth. And we're going to just follow. The pimp's going to follow along all the way to the birthing canal. Yeah, I am here via Zoom waiting for my wife's little child to pop out so we're zoomy zoom zoom this is about a really cute italian kid maybe he was parisian i don't

know he changed his name to houdini he added an i it's just like what maurice did with the a her she was maurice and then she became maurice he had a book by a guy named Houdin and he added an I and became that guy. He's trans. It's what it is. He's trans and it's going to be a good episode because let's be honest, anything's going to be better than a fucking snoozefest Bridget Phetasy. Wild. Yeah, definitely.

I enjoyed the British Phetasy. I enjoy her. Bridget, if you're watching this, that was not me who said that. I think you're great. Your feet are gorgeous. It's just not the normal pace of the history hyenas. It definitely was split in the comments,

but I think when you start the episode going, you know what? I'm going to tune in, tune out, and this is all Giannis. I don't like this. I think there's definitely going to be a lot of loyal people go, you know what? I'm just going to follow Chrissy because yeah, we can't ever do, we can't ever do two long days on one again.

It's just not good. Cause then, cause we just can't do it ever again. Or if we're going to do it, if we're going to do two long days, then the both long days, we all have to be in the studio. Cause I can't watch a long,

double long day happen and not be in the room to start sucking some cock character piece. So that was like a double header, a long double long day happen and not be in the room to start sucking some cock character piece so that was like a double header a long day oh god it was as soon as it started I was like Jesus this is gonna be long no she's fascinating Bridget Phetasy but it was just hard it's the things are here's here's how it's gonna work now until your baby until the baby is born and and then when you finally come back from paternity leave we're just gonna it's gonna be me and you this way and then if there's a guest you just fucking talk to the baby and i'm just gonna do the guesting in the studio because i can't have you fucking sniffing around why on zoom wait which camera i'm looking on this way on zoom and and and i'm over here with

the guest so that's just how we're gonna do do it. That's what's going to be until the beautiful baby is born. It's going to be me and a guest and Yanni, and then just me and Yanni on Zoom, and then me in the studio. That's how we're going to have to do it. That's how we're going to do it. We're just going to work around this until everything's good. Deadass. Listen, modern technology permits us to do whatever we want.

I mean, at a certain point, they're going to be able to hop in the with us. They're going to be able to do the podcast and we're going to watch ourselves doing the podcast. And I'm going to be able to become Venetia. When virtual reality takes over, I will be, you know, that movie being John Malkovich, we will all get a chance to get in Chrissy's head and we'll go, holy shit, this is an antsy place to be. The kid's always looking for an escape hatch, and that's exactly what Henry Houdini did. Yeah, Henry Houdini, or is it Harry Houdini? It doesn't matter. Reality is a suggestion.

R-I-S. It doesn't matter. Henry Houdini. I just realized, you're the Harry Houdini of personalities. Yeah. When you get into something, you go, hey, guys, watch me get into this. And then when you're in it, we all just watch you squirm because you're trying to figure out a way out because you don't like to commit.

Yeah, I'm not Chrissy Commitments. It's just what it is. I like to just be doing a bunch of different things, bopping around because it's what it is. Because I think, yeah, I mean, listen, we've been saying, we've been saying for months now, we're going to do an episode on Houdini. It's finally here. Richie G, who's a $50 member at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys,

we give the high-ranking members of the matriarchy an opportunity to pick an episode. So this is Richie G. So if it goes well, congrats to Richie G. If it doesn't go well, Richie G, you're a fucking idiot. Richie G, you're a fucking idiot. Guess what? You guys really went wild on the Patreon when we talked about our new tier.

Our new tier is for people who have a business if they want to promote. This goes out to thousands of people. So if there's somebody out there who wants to become a sponsor of the History Hyenas, we're doing it again organically for one person. So we're asking for everybody's fucking money you cocksuckers we want one person who's got a company who wants to get involved if not that's fine too we're here both ways whatever you want yeah yeah i just yeah i like i like how you said it. So patreon.com slash payrichboys, all the fun info. It's going to be good. It's going to be goody, goody, poopy, poopy.

I think today's episode, I mean, because you did a lot of research on Houdini. First of all, he looks like your dad, because when your dad, pictures of your dad, your dad was a fucking Jack Diesel kid, just like Houdini. And my dad was just a fat, fat, fat fucking piece of shit. So, I mean, at least you had a Diesel dad. My dad was a Diesel dad. My dad was a guy. He liked to do a lot of different things.

So, yeah, he was like Houdini, and he's like you. He liked to keep a lot of balls moving at the same time. My dad was a lifeguard. He was a firefighter. He worked at the like you. He liked to keep a lot of balls moving at the same time. That was a lifeguard. He was a firefighter. He worked at the diner. He played football. He wanted to experience life, a lot of things. And Houdini himself, he kept it moving, babe.

The guy started in magic. He went on to being a median. He did seances. He fucked Catholic women. He traveled to England. He tried to contact his mom. And then he went on, towards the end of his life, he went on a crusade to say that all mediums were full of shit.

And that's really the most interesting part about Houdini. Because let's just be honest, the kid did a bunch of fucking magic tricks that made black people go crazy. And then he wanted to talk about the truth and give you a long day. And so the last part of his life is the one that I like because it was a long day. Wild. Yeah, it's a long fucking day. And so the last part of his life is the one that I like. Cause it was a long day.

Yeah. It's a long fucking day. And what was his dying words again? His dying words were I'm a fake. I'm mostly a fake. It's all fake. So it's what it is. Yeah.

It's what it is. It's my, my dying words are going to be, I just want some fakes. I think you're dying words. We all know what they're going to be. And they're going to be like, I've loved, I like men. I like men. I love men. Yeah. I love men. I just like men. So how about this? Henry, Harry Houdini is actually buried in the cemetery in Glendale, Queens, where I grew up. Cause I grew up in Ridgewood, Glendale, Queens, and there's a

cemetery there on the other side was Cypress Hill. I think it's called Cypress Hill Cemetery and Jackie Robinson's buried there and Henry Houdini. And we used to look, me and the McClarney brothers would go after baseball games or whatever on the weekends, we would go and try to find his grave, but we never found his grave. Yeah. I mean, people have been trying to, they actually had to hide it, right? Because it got, it got- Yeah, because it was a finger hide it, right? Because it got, it got down. Yeah, because it was a finger. It used to be a finger like pointing to the sky. That's what the headstone used to be.

That's what my Aunt Colleen told me. And then they kept, they tried to keep robbing his body or break his headstone, something like that. Yeah, they kept trying to vandalize him because a lot of people thought there's a theory that he was murdered by the mediums. A lot of people thought there's a theory that he was murdered by the mediums because he had done so much harm to the business of mediums that some people believe that mediums predicted his death and then killed him to try to bring back their fraudulent credibility. And so people kept trying to dig him up to see if he was murdered because that was a theory.

And his last name is not even Houdini. It's Houdin because the kid, a lot of people think he's a New York kid, but the kid's actually from Appleton, Wisconsin. So, I mean, I don't know what the fuck. I mean, because the truth is, is if you want to make it in America, you need to probably either be in New York or Los Angeles, and it's just the truth. I mean, nobody cares about Appleton, Wisconsin,

even though it sounds like a cute, cute place. Yeah, he's from Appleton, Wisconsin, and he wasn't an Italian kid, although his name Houdini, you know. He's an Italian kid to me, but his name's Houdini. If Harry Houdini and Chris DiStefano came to see you in a different way, you would definitely think that he was two sauce monkeys who loved their mothers who were coming to see you about money that you owed. But the truth of the situation is one of them's a squeak jew and the other one's a

mostly german republican kid it's just what it is guys it's what is i mean this fucking kid who did he's from milwaukee i mean his family moved to milwaukee i mean because some states i mean let's be honest with all the political upheaval. I'm ready to let a lot of states go. I'm just ready to let majority of the fucking states go. I mean, the mayor of Portland is saying that she's Antifa, the new or the mayoral candidate. It's like Oregon and Wisconsin.

Let's just let them go. Yeah. First on my list would be Boston. No need. Just make it a different country put bilber on one side of the border and me and the other because that's just what we're gonna have to do i'd like to look to that look at that guy across a river wild yeah let it fly chrissy let me ask you a question talk about magic tricks how have you been able to fucking pull up the magic trick that

you're a fucking 100 straight guy when all you do is take in great conversations by men and then go bury you in pussy yeah cuz i don't know how i do it but eventually the jig's gonna be up and i think it all depends on my dad i mean the set every time my dad uh gets sick and goes onto the runway, the gay starts to come out. And then as soon as his plane has to go back to the terminal, it gets pushed down and I start to get jacked again because my arms start to look big because the triceps are getting bigger. But as soon as he takes off, I mean, cuz I'm taking off with them. My sexuality is taking off with them. I'll tell you, your dad's been on the runway and called back to terminal so many times

that the people on the plane with them are starting to complain about how hot it is in the plane. They want to take off. They want the AC to kick in. It's what it is, cuz. And I got good news. I got not good news. I got news. For four months, there were no ghosts, but we just got a text.

The ghosts are back for my pops. The ghosts have now come back. So now they're back in the house in Florida, and what can you do? My father may be actively using crystal meth, and we don't know about it. Yeah, I mean. Because he has no teeth. What do you think those ghosts are about? Because doesn't that stuff start to happen when you get close to takeoff?

Yeah, but you would think that, but it's been so long, and he keeps seeing the ghost of a black family so i just don't know what it is it's probably the family of the athlete that he bet on where he lost a lot of your money my day i mean what can you do cuz cuz what can you do i mean mean, listen. Wait, hold on. What's Houdini's actual real name? Can you? You know what Houdini's real name is? Eric Weiss. The kid is a Jew?

He's a Jew? He's a German Jew. I like, hey, my name. Can I please do a magic trick for you? Look at me. I'll give you COVID. Here's what I'm going to do for you. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you covid here's what i'm gonna do for you here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna give you a great deal i'm gonna do three to four three to four magic tricks only 4.99 sound good look

give you half price 10 if you recommend a friend does that sound good talk to me talk to me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i because his name is eric vice so he's a fucking eric eric vice so he was a jewish kid in germany uh-oh spaghettio uh oh wait oh he emigrated from hungary to be a rabbi in the german-speaking zion reform jewish congregations. Oh, his father. His father was a rabbi. So, I mean, yeah. So, I mean, the kids are Jew. So, let's just be honest. The Jews are tricksters. What can you do? Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen.

Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen. I'm just kidding. Wei Zhongzhen. I'm just kidding around. You know, I love the Jewish people. I'm circumcised myself. I'm going to name my son Moishe. Yeah. Here's the biggest trick. The weather's this, and then the weather's that. You like that? Sound good?

Way John John. Way John John. How about some tuna fish? Way John John. Yeah, so he was a Jewish kid who the biggest trick that he played on people was that he was an Italian kid named Houdini. He ended up marrying a Catholic girl and before that he was performing with a

clique. He started performing with his friend who he called his brother, the Houdini brother, but it was really his brother. So everything was a lie. The kids started to realize that it was all show business. The world's a stage. And at first he was very criticized because he was really not that, he was not that good at the showmanship. So he had to get better. He had to learn how to put on more of a show. Right. So they said a friend told him that if you add an I to the end of your name in French, it means you are, quote, like them,

thus creating the stage name Harry Houdini. So because it's real. Oh, wait, what is it? Einrich. His real name is Einrich, his first trick that he he performed at nine years old uh as a trapeze act and he called himself einrich the prince of the air so that's a little bit too long and not as good as harry houdini and that's what it is 17 year old einrich einrich Weissen, whatever his original name was, read an autobiography by French magician Robert Houdin, considered to be the father of modern magic.

And then a friend told him, if you add an I to that name in French, it means like them. So that's where I got Houdini from. It's because he read the book by the French magician. I got it. Okay. Yes. The thing that's fascinating about Houdini,

and, you know, everyone knows Houdini, the most famous fucking, considered the father of magic. The thing that made Houdini Houdini, though, wasn't really the tricks. Because let's be honest, a lot of magicians can do that tricks. Sleight of hand. I mean, Nate Bargatze pops as a magician.

There's a lot of magicians, you know. But what made him different was he was really the father of doing real stunts that kind of pushed the limit of what reality is or what was possible. And he did this by conditioning himself by having a bathtub in his house that was oversized and he would hold his breath and go longer and longer and longer. And he would put needles to himself and do all this stuff and get himself out of handcuffs by practicing to use his feet as fingers and be flexible and things like that that were real and pushed what was possible.

And he was a jacked, ripped kid. I mean, the kid was, he was an athlete. He was in gymnastics. The kid was just jacked. kid i mean the kid was he was an athlete um he was in gymnastics um the kid was just jacked he was ripped but he definitely had to be a squeak if he could fit in a bathtub he was definitely a skooka squeak he was a little guy he should be squeaking a week next week he was a fucking squeak but you know what the funny thing is back in the day people a lot of people were squeaks we We only started getting big until we started eating McDonald's.

It's true. Magicians aren't really that tall. I guess you can't be really that tall to pull these fucking tricks off, no? Yeah, no, because if there's a chance during your show you might have to get on a horse, you got to be a little kid. Because those are the squeakiest of squeaks.

For aerodynamic reasons. The jockeys are small because they want to do little less wind resistance to slow them down. So, you know, they're squeaky, but they're definitely aerodynamically designed. Yeah. Houdini began his career as a famous escape artist with a trick called the metamorphosis. The metamorphosis, which is a good book. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. The Metamorphosis, his assistant will be placed into a locked box and then switch places with the magician within seconds after a curtain was raised. He and his wife played this trick for 26 weeks in 1895 with the Welsh Brothers Circus. So that, guys, I'd like to do when you get back to

the studio, I say me and you do a little metamorphosis for the Patreon. Let's do it. How can we, what do you want to do? You want to just switch places and I put on your clothes, you put on mine? Or is it just- No, I just want to get in a box with you. Oh, you want to get in a box with me?

Yeah. Cuz, well, let's just fucking rent a regular size New York City apartment and that's a fucking box. Because make no mistake, everyone who's fucking living in New York City before COVID was fucking living in a box in Williamsburg. Living in a box in Williamsburg

and now they've gone out, they've gone back to their families. What can you do? Like anything else, Houdini then starts to get real famous because the kid starts to crush it in New York City. 19, his father dies and once his pop died he kind of got, he sparked, and he said, you know what, I'm going to fucking beat somebody.

Yeah, his dad died, and he shot right out of the closet out of that box. It's what it is. Yeah, cuz, this is you. This is you right now. You're an arrow in a bow, and you're all the way right here. And as soon as your dad dies, you're fucking shooting right out of that bow. Shooting right out of that bow.

Cause I think, Oh my gosh. Yes. Cause this, Oh my gosh. Just sound like something a gay guy says when he feels somebody's arm. Yeah. If you say the word, gosh,

if you just say the word, gosh, you're gay. It's what it is. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Houdini began jumping into rivers while handcuffed and chained. So that's what he used to do, allowing the suspense to be built

by remaining underwater long after observers believed he could survive. So the kid would just handcuff himself and jump into the water. I mean, you know? And if you go to a couple of, you know, if you go anywhere in Harlem right now, that might be happening too. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, and you know, it's a real, real... Because Harlem's white, and white people

need to go to jail. That's right, they do. That's what the joke was. Your whiteness is systemically racist. White people need to go to prison. White people suck. They need to suck.

And let me tell you something, Mike Pence, shut your fucking mouth. Shut your fucking mouth. There's a woman of color speaking. Shut your fucking mouth, Mike Pence. Yeah. What can you do? COVID's a hoax.

Your vote doesn't matter unless you live in one of three states. Don't listen to the naked celebrities. Your vote doesn't matter. It doesn't matter unless you live in one of three states don't listen to the naked celebrities your vote doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah uh sarah silverman's got some nice cans though yeah cuz i mean between her cans and josh god's back fat i lit my fucking hotel room walls up last night here's the thing it's a real shame that things were so segregated in Houdini's day because he thought probably he needed to work on his performance skills, but his performance skills were probably just fine. The problem was that it was segregated,

so he didn't have enough black teenagers at his show. Yeah, it's just what it is. Because if he had more blacks at his show, I mean, it would have been fucking lit in there when he did a card trick. Yeah, it's what it is. in there when he did a car trick. Yeah. That's what it is, cuz. And then one of his most famous tricks was called the Chinese Water Torture Cell,

which is what I call 2020. Wei Zhongzhen. Parapiece. Wild. Dope. And he was secured with heavy mahogany sticks and dangled upside down in a six foot tall glass cell slowly he would be dangled in midair before being immersed headfirst into water the box's frame the box's frame was fastened with uh padlocks and cabinet curtained off from

view so the chinese water torture cell was one of his main things. And that seems pretty scary. That does seem pretty scary. And of course, that's named after the actual Chinese water torture, which is brutal what they do. I mean, only the Chinese and ancient people would think of such a brutal torture where they lay you down, they tie you up, and they just drop one droplet of water on your forehead which after

about the thousandth time starts to hurt so but you know what the only thing the only positive thing the only positive thing about going through the chinese water torch like that being chinese way jong jen way jong jen way jong jen way jong jen way jong jen way jong jen you can't yeah i mean because it's kind of like you know Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen. You can't, yeah, I mean, because it's kind of like, you know, with China it's like... Wei Zhongzhen. And they also kind of, like, they're not...

Can I get an SNL audition? Yeah, they're kind of, yeah, I mean... Wei Zhongzhen. Yeah, because, I mean, who knows... I'm just kidding, obviously I'm just kidding. Don't worry about cuz, I mean, who knows? I'm just kidding. Obviously, I'm just kidding. Don't worry about it. I mean, there's a good chance you'll become a corporate spokesperson. Wild.

It's what it is, cuz. It's character piece. Yeah, I mean, cuz, we would have to erase this. We would have to stop life and give everyone the men in black thing that erases everyone's memory for either one of us to ever get in bed with a corporation. It's what it is. Cause it's what it is. Cause we could probably do a magic trick though. Cause Houdini used to go and travel and go to prisons and to make money. He would challenge everyone and say, put me in a prison, give me your handcuffs, and watch me get out. And the kid got out

every single fucking time. Yeah. So does the situation's family members. Yeah, I mean, they... It's character-paced. Yeah, I mean, fuck it, cuz. The only thing that could have kept Harry Houdini locked up is Kamala Harris

when she was the DA. If you had brown skin and you smoked marijuana, you were getting fucking locked up is kamala harris when she was da because that bitch put if you had brown skin and you smoked marijuana you were getting fucking locked up that's the unfortunate truth there's a lot of i know a lot of people that you know are not informed that they love kamala so much it's like she arrested more black people than you could ever fucking imagine so good luck on you yeah harry houdini would have came and he would have said to her, look, try to, you know, here we go. My name's Harry Houdini. Try to keep me in prison.

Just give it a whirl. And she would go, give me fucking one chance and you'll never see the fucking light of day. She would say, Houdini, I'm speaking. I'm speaking. I'm speaking. I'm speaking. Mr. Vice President.

Mr. Vice President. He didn't even, he wasn't even trying to interrupt her. I'm speaking. I'm speaking. I'm speaking. You know, it's funny not to get too current because, you know, this podcast is evergreen. But it's really funny that the narrative became that he was like Mark Ruffalo tweeted that he was constantly interrupting her when I thought

that he was polite. You know, I thought, you know, I thought she did great with the debate, but I thought he was more polite than she was. Dude, here's how you know nobody gives a fuck, is all the things the next day, the only thing that anybody was ever talking about was Kamala Harris' facial expressions and the fly on Pence's head.

So what does that tell you? Nobody gave a fuck. Neither one of them gave answers about anything or offered any real solutions. They just both fucking pandered to their bullshit things. And you talked about the fly and her dumb looking face. And that's it. And you know what the real tragedy of that is?

The real tragedy of that is you're supposed to come to the history hyenas for that. We are supposed to be the ones who say, hey, we're a history podcast. And then you come here and you go, the fuck you are. You talked about history off Wikipedia for three minutes. And you talked about chris's gay dad for 45 minutes and we go yeah that's our profession the sad part is is that somehow we're living in the upside down where that is what is happening in the political realm and over here we're actually doing some credible history once in a while because veneti is a slave driver. It's what it is, cuz. You got another thing coming. Yeah, so

the police what happened? Oh, so the police, what is it with the police and Houdini? They stripped him naked so they could search him fully from Agito and certify that nothing was concealed on his person. They would weigh him down with as many as 10 pairs of handcuffs and shackles

his ankles. houdini never failed to baffle police by escaping their traps even when he was behind bars houdini just always got away with shit he was like jeffrey epstein word he was like jeffrey epstein yeah i mean the kid was a slippery slippery pedophile yeah and uh so he um he went to england he went to england after he sort of, you know, mastered his craft in the United States. I found my wedding ring, by the way. Where was it?

It was in just a pair of jeans that I couldn't fit in anymore and that's why I couldn't find them because those jeans fit in 2017. Yeah, it's just what, do you remember the last time you wore them and why you put your ring in the pocket to begin with? It was pre-COVID and it was pre-sympathy maternity wait. Yeah. I would have found the ring a lot earlier if I hadn't gotten so fucking fat. Yeah, and you just forgot about those jeans.

I forgot about those jeans because they were from Skinny Mini Days. Yeah, because, I mean, imagine the whole time, imagine this whole time if you never found it, and then I just pulled my piece on the whole time. I've been wearing it as a cock ring. Yes. Dope. I want your opinion because if you get fatter, does your penis get smaller? Because I'm starting to notice that my penis is looking smaller.

Is that science? I think that is science because we've both spoken about it. I mean, my father's have the smallest pieces we've ever seen in our life. And yeah, my pieces definitely get a lot smaller or my balls are getting bigger. It's almost to the point now where I almost, I think there might be three balls in there. So Harry Houdini took his, the mastering of his crafts to London and in London, cause that's where he really, he started making it big and he started making it big by challenging people like that saying, Heyuff me with your handcuffs hey tie me up do all these things and I guarantee I'll get out then the kid started fucking jumping in water he said hold your

breath until you can't anymore and then the kid fucking knew that that was probably about the average you know minute and a half to two minutes and then the kid would fucking hold his breath for another three minutes and he would emerge and he was the super Jew. I mean, fucking the kid was a super Jew when he was here. It's what it is, cuz. Yeah. Yeah, no, he's just, he's fascinating. If somebody was going to, if we were going to make a movie right now,

who would play Houdini? David Blaine, probably. But David Blaine, I mean, the kid's energy is, David Blaine always seems like he's on volume. Yeah. I told you the one time I met David Blaine, right? It was, he's half Puerto Rican. So was it at your baby's mama's fiesta or a wedding? Yeah, he got, he got married and he got married in the hallway. No, he,

no, David Blaine, actually I, well, my ex-girlfriend from, which I can't legally say her name. I, my ex-girlfriend, we were in Nashville and he was staying at our hotel and he was exercising in the weight room of the hotel we were in. And I was just, I mean, fully fat tits, just dying on the elliptical. And then he was like, my ex-girlfriend was working out too. And then he just out of nowhere, just started training her. He just started training her and doing like physio ball workouts with her. And I just was sitting there being like this fucking guy. Cause he was jacked. I mean,

jacked at that time when we met him jacked and he's so mysterious. And then he was like, Hey, where are you from? I remember he asked me, he was like, where are you from? And I was like,

Oh, New York. He was like, I knew that. I'm like, no, you fucking didn't remember he asked me. He was like, where are you from? And I was like, oh, New York. He was like, I knew that. I'm like, no, you fucking didn't. You heard me talk. You're not. Fuck you, dude. Yeah, he was trying to pretend.

Yeah, he looked like this. He was ripped like this. Yeah, he pretended to do a magic trick. But the thing is, you could look at you and know that you're from New York City pretty quick. Because he's from New York City. He's a half Jew, half Puerto Rican kid. And you don't really- Did we ever get this ripped or it's just not possible me and you me and you know me

and you know right those days are not gonna happen no no those days are over for us I mean no yeah Benatia is is David Blaine a fuck boy or or no I think he is I mean he's a fuck boy magician he can just like go in and out he's a a magician. He can just come in and out. Did you just hear what she said? I mean, I mean, whoa, he could just come in and out.

Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Then it's here. Slow the fuck down. Slow it up. Why? Yeah.

Slow it down. Slow it up. I'm going to, I'm going to call your baba and I'm going to play him that clip. It's just what it is. Cause yeah. Yeah. Venetia is COVID negative, but it's still wearing the mask. And I'm confused to call you Baba, and I'm going to play him that clip. It's just what it is, cuz. Yeah, Venetia is COVID negative, but is still wearing the mask, and I'm confused as to why. I don't know what she's hiding underneath that fucking mask.

I think she might have gotten a tattoo on her lip. You don't know. She's probably wearing the mask because she knows that you said that you're COVID negative, but she knows that you're a liar. Word. Yeah, unfortunately with this, I got fucking proof. You got proof. You do got the paperwork to show, right?

I do got the paperwork. Fucking negative antibodies, negative on the virus. I mean, what can you do? What can you do? So Kaz, he gets famous in England, comebacks to America, does tricks. He does these endurance stunts that you see David Blaine doing. Everyone loves Houdini. And then of course, he starts to actually dabble in being a medium. He

starts to tell people that he can talk to their dead relatives. And the kid starts making a couple bucks doing this. And him and his wife do it together and um they don't admit it to the public but eventually they have a stroke of conscience and they stop doing it because he knows he's tricking people and he starts to feel really bad which is what my question is um jesus was a kid who did miracles but he was a jew do you think he was just a really good jewish magician well that's the thing is a lot of people say he could be history's best magician because there was like 20 people at that time saying that they were Jesus. So, I mean, Lynn will not admit he was a magician, but I mean, he could have been. I don't know. I don't know anymore, but I do know I believe I have the faith

because my tattoos are lit up. I'm getting more tattoos. Why the hell not, man? There's more scripture and there's more room on your body. So let's have a wedding between those two realities. You know what my favorite website to go to is now? It used to be a lot of other websites, but then I found God. Now it's helixsleep.com slash wild. That's where I'm going. Helixsleep.com slash wild.

You want to know why? They're one of the best mattresses company, mattress companies I've ever been through in my entire life. Okay. I like to lay down there. I feel like I'm in the clouds and guess what they're doing. They're offering up to $200 off all mattress orders, up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for all our listeners,

all our histrionian listeners at helixsleep.com slash wild. That's helix, H-E-L-I-X, sleep, S-L-E-P, dot, the little dot, com, C-O-M, slash, the little slash thing, wild, W-I-L-D, and you're going to get up to 200 off all matches and two free pillows a lot of you fans just like me you got big chrome magnum heads so you're going to need two pillows and they're going to give them to you for free they know that we got huge cabezas here at the history hyenas you know all you got to do is take their two minute sleep quiz and they're going to match you to a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life, okay? I mean, I'm talking the best sleep of your life. We've been matching mattresses all day here. We all took the quiz.

I got a bed. Pimp got a bed. Venetia got a bed. Yanni got a bed. That's why he's not here right now. The kid's asleep, okay? He got so lost in the helixsleep.com slash wild mattress that the kid literally missed the podcast, and he's not even here. That's how good Helixsleep.com slash wild mattress that the kid literally missed the podcast and he's not even here. That's how good Helix products are. They'll ruin your life. That's what it is because you're going to be sleeping. You're going to be asleep so comfortably and in dreamland that you will miss life events. And that's just what's going to happen. I'm telling you, I don't lie. I love sleeping. I love to sleep. And I usually, and I wake up in the middle of the night having night terrors, and the Helix Sleep just brings me right back and keeps me cozy

because make no mistake, my baby's mama will kill me. So Helix Sleep makes me feel comfy, wumpy. If I'm going to get murdered in my bed by a scorned lover, I want that to happen on the Helix mattress, okay? Helixsleep.com slash wild. You're going to get up to to 200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for all our listeners okay it's gonna be money in the bank i gotta go to sleep all right mybookie.ag saved my life okay i mean listen i was watching sports and i was like this

is boring i you know i can't be an athlete because i just you know i'm kind of not tall enough i'm tall but not tall enough i'm'm tall but not tall enough. I'm in shape but not in shape enough. I have fluffy nipples. I got a big fat ass, and I just don't fit into uniforms. So I said, how do I make the games I'm watching more fun? Then my bookie, Dot AG, comes along and says, pull a little juice on the game.

And guess what? If you use the promo code HYENAS, H-Y-E-N-A-S, they're going to match your deposit dollar for dollar up to $1,000. So if you put down 500, they'll put down 500. They're your partners in crime. Everybody wants a life partner that's non-gender specific. Mybookie.ag is that transgender life partner. So it doesn't matter which way you go. We go man, female, baby. It doesn't matter. My bookie.ag is there for you. Use the promo code hyenas and you're going to get, they are going to

match your deposit. You want to put down $3? They'll put down $3. I'm a $3 bill. Everybody knows that. Giannis is a $3 bill. That's why he's with his wife right now while she gives birth. Cause I mean the kid's gay, gay, gay. It put whatever you want you can better my sexuality i don't even know what it is so you're probably gonna lose my bookie.ag promo code hyenas h-y-e-n-a-s do it right now the hyenas sent you watching sports never been better my dad's dying of diabetes raycon here's what i need you to do go get raycon headphones go to buyraycon.com slash hyenas, and you're going to get 15% off. Let me tell you about these puppies, okay?

They're the best headphones I've ever had. It doesn't matter if I'm going for a power walk to tighten my glutes or a jog to run away from my ex. I'm telling you, Raycon headphones always work. They're always reliable, okay? They're reliable. You can trust them. They're perfect.

They're beautiful. And listen, Cardi B endorses them. them if cardi b's going to endorse joe biden then you're going to want to endorse raycon headphones if she says it's right then you know what baby it's right she's got that wet ass pussy and those good ass headphones so that's just what it is okay so go to buy raycon dots go to buy raycon.com slash hyenas. You're going to get 15% off your headphones. They're amazing. I put them on my balls. I put them in my belly button.

I put them in all different types. You're only supposed to put them in their ears, but I say, why did God make so many holes if he didn't want me to put Raycon headphones in them? So that's what I've been doing. I plug a hole with a Raycon headphone, and it's music to my ears. It's music to my butthole. It's music to my belly button. It's music to my nostrils. I've been doing. I plug a hole with a Raycon headphone, and it's music to my ears. It's music to my butthole.

It's music to my belly button. It's music to my nostrils. I love Raycon. I love Brandy. I love J.R. Smith. I love Melissa Etheridge. I love Snoop Dogg, and I love Cardi B. Okay, and they all endorse this product.

So why can't you, asshole, go to buyraycon.com slash hyenas for 15% off? If not, if I see you in the street, and you don't have Raycon headphones in your rear, I'm going to say, listen, why don't you go back to China, you fucking communists? Because they're not available there. They're only available in the great United States of America. That's probably not true. I think they're an international company because they're doing very, very well. And they're just little.

They're cute. And it's just, it also is just, it works for nipple padding. And buyraycon.com slash hyenas, 15% off. It's what it is. Yeah, so what Houdini would do when he was pretending to be a medium is prior to each seance in a new town,

Houdini would visit the local cemetery, chat with the local town gossip people, and then kind of get information on the people and then make believe that he was pulling shit out of his ass yeah it was just like yeah he was a scheming little baby he was scheming a little bit he was making a lot of money and that's what a lot of these mediums do now and they've been caught uh deron brown is one guy who much like h Houdini, does tricks and illusions. What about the Long Island Medium? The Long Island Medium, she's for real because, I mean, she's from Long Island.

Look, here's the deal. I know they're full of shit, but I personally fully support it. I fully support it. I don't – if you – I think – I'm trying to move here so we can get – because I think it's getting too dark. Right, Binky? Yeah. If you want to listen to this woman who's got hair like Dog the Bounty Hunter

and tell you about your dead relatives, then good for you. Because you know what? I'd actually love to be you. Because here's the truth about you is if you're someone that listens to this woman, you're so clinically, diagnosably fucking stupid that you probably feel no pain and don't understand the amount of conflict and bad things happening because you're just fucking dumb. And I would love to be as dumb as you and believe this woman

who's got a beehive on her fucking head but probably has nice double D natties. Yes, for sure, without a doubt. I just, I co-signed what you said. I got nothing to add. You said it all. It's what it is, cuz. The Long Island Medium will get banged out. She may be who I go as Halloween.

Right now, I'm either gonna go for Halloween as the Long Island Medium or Ursula from Little Mermaid. One of the two. One of the two. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, the people who think that these people are being immoral, if you're stupid enough to go there and think that some fucking housewife from fucking Levittown, Long Island

can talk to your fucking dead dog for $150, then you deserve to lose $150. I deserve to be entertained. And the Long Island medium deserves to not be a housewife anymore. And she deserves a nice fucking night out at La Piazza in fucking Hicksville she deserves a nice fucking night out at la piazza in fucking hicksville and having a nice fucking ravioli with her fucking family with her scheme money from you

dumb fucking idiots absolutely long island medium definitely votes for trump there's no fucking question her audience she goes i don't need any fucking magical powers to know what the political affiliations are of this audience. It's just what it is. Because my mom and aunt have told me they've already mailed in their ballot. Now, which way do you think that ballot went? Chrissy, let me tell you. It's your aunt Eileen. And I want to say me and your mom.

No, Colleen. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. Yeah. My aunt Colleen. Yeah, your aunt Colleen I'm sorry. Yeah. My Aunt Colleen. Yeah, your Aunt Colleen said, Chrissy, here, listen, I'm very proud of you. I understand. I understand.

You're doing very good. I heard you crabbing. You're doing your skits, and I'm very happy about that. Also about your friend who's the doctor in Park Slope, and still you got the gay friend who's the doctor from Park Slope, the Mexican. But I want to say this, Chrissy. I'm most proud of you because when we were talking you really really seemed to undersee me and your mother's outlooks on things

okay we want to be for a lot of these things but we just can't look past the death of children we're pro-life christy we apologize to nobody about that we got our balance early and we've never gone to the post office quicker. Your mom got a shopping cart and usually we'll go to ShopRite first and knock out the shopping and get some entomates.

But this time we went straight to the fucking post office with pride, put our fucking vote into the post office with Donnie T and then went to ShopRite and fucking got our entomates,

came back and threw candles in it. And you know what those candles were? They were 45 for the 45th president who's also going to become the 46th yeah that's what it is aunt colleen knows those ballots went right to the right what can you do um it's what it is because so how funny would that be if your if your mom and your aunt got a cake and put 45 candles in it to celebrate donnie tate yeah i think yeah i think it's going to be one of those things where, like, you know, my Aunt Colleen's birthday, she's just going to be 45 again,

but she's really doing it for Donny Tate. That's it. That's what it is. So did Venity vote for her queen? Ven, did you vote yet? No, I'm going to go vote in person. Venity is going to vote in person, okay? Yeah. Do you know, Chrissy, now, do you vote yet? No, I'm going to go vote in person. Vanity is going to vote in person. Do you know, Chrissy,

do you got a grip on which way Binky's going to go? Because I don't have a grip. I don't know which... I don't think Binky knows. I think it's going to be eeny, meeny, miny, moe in the voting booth. That's what I think it's going to be. He's going to close his eyes and pull a lever. No, that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about whether it's going to be

us or Nate Bargatze. Oh, I'm leaning towards Nate. I'm leaning towards Nate, and I got news for you. You can't see it, but Vanity is wearing a low-cut shirt, so we may get hit up again. So it could be a double whammy.

We could be losing pimp, and it could be a fucking price increase on Benetton because she's got the low-cut shirt on. Yas. Yeah, it's just what it is. It's what it is. By the way, it's what it is, shirts.

We added them to the closet. Go to historyhyenas.com. Get yourself some merch because I got to be honest, I have bought our own merch i love my history hyenas mask i wear the mask or if you're from brooklyn you can call it max whatever you want to do um and i also got myself a fucking cute cute cute history hyenas mug yes me too i have both that i just got the it's what it is sweatshirt um we just posted it um it's beautiful love it it's what it is um new merch reality suggestion history hyenas history hyenas.com teespring it's

beautiful beautiful merch team cute yanni long days mugs i mean cuz you're gonna wanna but i mean listen i know people are like yeah but trump says it's what it is well it's what it is it's what it is and yeah we've been he says it is what it is we say it's what it is yeah so it's what it is. Well, it's what it is. It's what it is. He says it is what it is. We say it's what it is. It's a little different. It's just what it is. How did Houdini die? Do we know how the kid died?

He actually died in a very funny, funny way. Before we get there, he couldn't have died in a funnier way. You may go the same way with Paulie Gassi. It's what it is. Yeah. Cause I,

I'm happy that pimp got to meet Paulie Gassi. Just know we made a little video because I made a promo for my show, October 23rd, live stream event, wall street theater, wall street theater. Live. You can stream it all over the world.

We made a little promo of Paulie Gassi in the background of the promo. You guys will see it soon. Go get those tickets. Christie comedy.com, October 23rd, 8 PM live streaming all over the world. We made a little promo with Paulie Gassi in the background of the promo. You guys will see it soon. Go get those tickets, christycomedy.com, October 23rd, 8 p.m., live streaming all over the world. Get it. It's going to be fun. But Paul Gassi, I mean, yeah, I mean, the kid was telling Pimp how to direct and what angles he could use. And he was like, I can move the couch, even though it's my mother's couch, I can move the couch if you want a better angle. And then, you know, Paul, and then when Pimp left, Paul was like, yo, did I do

good? I'm like, because you were in the background with no words. He's like, yeah, but I just want to make sure that I didn't fuck up your video. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Paul, he got really uncomfortable because I said I wanted to do a part of the video where, like, I did the promo with his dick in the shot in my face

and I fucking made him do it and he got really uncomfortable. He got upset about it. And he asked us to please delete it. He's like, I got to believe my mother sees that. Yeah. Was his mother upstairs? His mother was upstairs feeding the cats. Yeah, and Pauly did not go down.

He did not go down. He looked good, right? Pimpy looked good. He's in shape. He got himself in shape. Because the reason why Pauly is one of us is because there's always a chance he could go down. Always. He can always fucking faint at the last minute.

Here's the thing when you come see me or Chrissy do comedy. Not only do we do comedy and we know how to do stand-up comedy, but the extra edge we have that other comedians don't have is it's a tightrope walk. It's exciting because you never know if that's going to be the night that one of us goes down and we faint so it's always possible we're going to faint make no mistake if we're doing two shows a night at some point during those two shows we come close cuz and by the way i won't let you know this weekend i'm going to be doing a fucking cuteness overload okay i'm going to salem massachusetts in the month of october with the baby it's gonna be so fucking cute it's gonna be hard to take yeah and it's a good time to do it

too because of the foliage and it's a good time to just get away from the people who are going to judge you for enjoying the different colors of the leaves yeah how ironic is it that when things are dying it brings out such natural beauty natural beauty because i want somebody one of our fans to put up that biden meme with yanni's eyes really close together and say vote for the foliage make sure you say the word foliage because i've been watching them to prepare for sound i've been watching the movie hocus pocus and bet middler will get banged out that middleette Midler will get banged out. Sarah Jessica Raphael. Sarah Jessica Parker will get fucking smacked.

I mean, she will get cleaned. Clean. Yeah, she will get cleaned. And also the Franks and Beans one could catch it, too. And the Tubby one will get it, too. I like witches. What can I tell you? I like that.

I like her. Yeah, she's fucking, yeah. I'd like to bang her. It's like banging a thing, a cool whip. Yeah, the problem is witches got major fumare. It comes with the territory. Yeah, she's fucking, yeah. I'd like to bang her. It's like banging a thing, a cool whip. Yeah, the problem is witches got major fumare. It comes with the territory. Yeah, they got witches. Yeah, I mean, they got fumare, but I mean, what can you do?

The only thing about witches is because I fucking hate cats, so I probably can't bang out a witch because I don't like cats. I don't like animals. Yeah, I know. You don't like animals. You don't like people. You don't like anyone except really the baby. I like the baby.

But, I mean, what can you do? Because, listen, okay, so Houdini died. How did the kid die? So Houdini got into doing this medium stuff, but then he felt guilty and he stopped. And then he went on a life quest to try to disprove these people, and he did. He kept going and saying, like, I will show these people that anything they can do, I can do. And I'll tell you, it's a trick.

So he started breaking the code of being a magician because he got so moral about this. And he thought it was so wrong what they were doing to these people who thought they were talking to their dead relatives, that he actually started disproving them. And he started doing a good job of it. And he was always right. So him and his wife had an interesting bet at the end of it, not bet, but they told each other they were going to give each other a password and whoever died first, they would go to a medium and tell the medium to try to contact that person. And they both promised that if they were contacted for real, they would tell the other person the password. It never happened.

She said it was all fake. It wasn't a fork. It didn't work. She tried it a bunch of times, and she never contacted Houdini. So the way Houdini died was, part of what he would do is he would go around and he would challenge people to punch him in the stomach.

Yeah. Yeah, like when you get around Bobby Kelly, you just get tempted because it's just mushy. It's just mushy, yeah. You hit him and his shorts fall down. Yeah. So he would challenge kids to punch him in the stomach because he had built up his ab muscles so much. And he had trained himself to take so many blows.

It's kind of like when kickboxers kick trees to build up that fucking strength. So one kid just was a little too strong. I think he might have asked like a lenny from a mice and mung retarded kid to punch him in the stomach and the kid just fucking hooked him off because it was john a light who came to see him in a different way and he just hooked one off on houdini he hooked one off and houdini died from being punched in the stomach oh yeah because it ruptured his appendix it ruptured his appendix. It ruptured his appendix, and he fucking died.

So he died in a hilarious way. And, of course, like we mentioned earlier, a lot of people thought he was murdered by a lot of the mediums who got together and said, we've got to do something about this guy who's ruining our fucking hustle. And they came and saw him in a different way and framed it. There's always conspiracy, because there's always going to be conspiracies. You know, it's just there's always going to be conspiracies. There's always going to be conspiracies. You know, it's just there's always going to be conspiracies. There's always going to be conspiracies,

and we tackle them every week at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys on our show Conspiracy Cuties. You guys are missing out on a lot if you're not joining our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys Conspiracy Cuties. It's great. Houdini actually died on October 31st, Halloween. He died on Halloween, so it's a little spookily-wookily thing. It's a little fucking spooky.

And look, should we just get a little more transparent and just start doing a series called Algorithm Chaser, where we just do shows and put people's names in it and we're trying to chase the algorithm and we just make the show

about whatever's the trending topic and we just call the show. Did I just come up with a new show called The Algorithm Chaser? Yeah, The Algorithm Chaser. Yeah, I'm Chrissy the Bug Chaser. You're Yanni the Algorithm Chaser. Yeah, I mean, we're just going to do a show on,

the next episode is going to be about the fucking fly on Pence's head or whatever's trending in the news. We're just trying to catch the waves and trick the algorithm to come give us more money. Money, money, money, money. It's what it is, guys. Yeah, listen, I think so. I mean, in closing, I mean, Houdini, look, the truth of the fact of the matter is this, as we've been saying, it's like, yes, we know certain people are schemers and whatever, but it's entertaining. It's entertainment. It's just like, just let go. Like in life,

sometimes you got to let go. It's like, okay, yeah, we figured out that you're a fake and whatever. But it's like, just use it as entertainment and trust your gut. I mean, that's all you can do. Yeah. Hopefully, when we evolve more, hopefully that's what we realize. And we just let people believe what they want to believe. And the people who do believe it, they remember in some way that, look, man, it's just faith. Like, I remember when I was an altar boy, when you get to go backstage,

you see that these guys are doing outfit changes like Madonna. I remember the archbishop would come and he would do like three, four outfit changes. And sometimes he would do an early show and a late show. And he would get back and he would talk about the crowd. He would go, they were fucking stiff out there. He would say it in Greek, but he was like, what's up with this fucking crowd? It's all old ladies.

The right side was good. The left side was bad. And Mad Dog would say, yeah, Bubbles, I'll get them out for you. Yeah, that's what it is. I'll get them out for you. Mad Dog Matter, when is this episode coming out? Oh, it's not coming out until Halloween? Well, then you, hopefully you saw it. I had James Mad Dog Matter open up for me. It's Grand Pennsylvania

and he committed suicide live on stage at my show. How was it? How was it? Oh, well, it's tomorrow, but it was good. Oh, yeah, because you're watching this now. Yeah. Yeah, because Santino has COVID. What can you do? What can you do?

Watch James' podcast, The Commissioner of Comedy. Yep. If you want to be a comedian or if you're a business leader or a political leader or just a leader in general, you'll get a lot of good tips on how to conduct yourself. Yeah, you'll get good tips, James Madden. Also go to christycomedy.com. You can see me October 23rd live stream wherever you are in the world, whatever state, October 23rd, 8 p.m. Go to wallstreettheater.live or christycomedy.com for the tickets. Buy the live stream. It's like pay-per-view for comedy. Do it. And then November

5th to the 7th, House of Comedy in Phoenix. Go check it out, christycomedy.com. And we are moments away from Yanni's baby. Yes, my baby's coming soon. As soon as the baby comes, guys, we'll be back in the studio. But because of of covid i can't risk being around because if i if i got it by chance i wouldn't be able to be at the birth of my child so i got tested and i'm negative and because i clipped my heels here's the only problem it felt so good i feel like i might get addicted to it yeah and because there was a little while i was addicted to std tests because I would go get an STD test. And when it comes back negative, that feeling is a little bit of a rush.

Yeah, I know. I had some slight burning on urination a couple of weeks ago and it was kind of sad that I knew it wasn't an STD. I was like, you know, because when I would ever feel a symptom, I'd be like, well, I know how to fix this. Just call up Luke and he'll send send me some amoxicillin, and he'll nuke my balls, and it'll be gone for a week. But when you have some slight burning, and you're like, it can't be an STD, now I'm like, now I've got to go get a test. But then it went away. It turned out I was drinking too much coffee. Guys, is it okay if we start referring to your piece as Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Because it's been nuked.

It's been nuked. Just call my piece the axis powers yeah i mean your piece has really fucking taken a few t-bombs now cuz let me ask you this let me ask you this let's say let's say the baby let's say the baby is born in the next 48 hours are you going to take the baby trick-or-treating even though she'll only be a few minutes old because i'm taking the baby straight down to the republican office here and i'm registering her yeah as soon as she's born we got to get business before pleasure now let me ask you this when the greek when a baby because you guys know in modern technology do they hold a ceremony do the greek priests at least try to somehow

make it into a penis or what do you guys do in modern times do they hold some type of thing where they have a shaman or some fucking weirdo come in and try to make it a boy or what do you do uh well we have a different tradition and since my wife is uh she's half spartan she's from spartan right and venetia knows this what uh what we do is we go through with the pregnancy, but then we take the baby and we throw it off a fucking cliff because it's not a guy. It's what it is.

That's what we do. And we just need more warriors in our culture. We don't need any more sowers. So we got to get rid of her. There's nothing I can do about it because I've seen the sonogram. The baby's got my nose, but it's okay. My wife's from Long Island. She knows a good doctor who can fix that because do you think the baby's gonna come out with or without glasses on I think the baby I'm hoping to God the baby's

got my wife's face cuz cuz if my baby comes out looking like me I mean I look like Rick Moranis people think I got punched in the face on the Upper West Side. Yeah, it's what it is, cuz. Now, does the baby, does the Greek baby, do they come out and do they go right for the goat milk? Or do you guys try their human teeth first? What we do is we have a goat on standby if it doesn't reach for the mom's tit. And if not, definitely they go for the goat. They go for the goat. It's what it is, cuz.

And when I say goat, I mean Andrew Schultz. Your heart? Yeah, yeah, yeah it is, cuz. And when I say goat, I mean Andrew Schultz. Ya heart? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cuz. Yeah, cuz. Goats. We're all fucking goats. Everyone's a fucking goat, cuz. Everyone's a fucking goat.

Cuz, I'm gonna go trick-or-treating with the baby even if Governor Cuomo or de Blasio if Governor Cuomo or de Blasio say I can't take my baby trick-or-treating, then we'll change Halloween costumes and we'll just dress as acidic Jews so we can do what we want, and then take my baby trick-or-treating, then we'll change Halloween costumes and we'll just dress as acidic Jews so we can do what we want, and then we'll go trick-or-treating that way. But I think because I haven't went trick-or-treating, you know, because I...

Well, yeah, I remember you missed last year because the squeak took her trick-or-treating. Yeah, so that's... Yeah, so, I mean, I don't know. Here's the thing. If he wants to show up in a costume i'll take him to whatever he wants yeah i mean yeah i mean yeah if he wants to come uh you know because what a wild what a wild part of my life that was and it was only a few months ago yes because i've had i'm chrissy eris i I've just had, I mean, it's just, you can't imagine.

No, you're Chrissy Page Turner because whoever, if you were a book, whoever, your errors happen so quickly, whoever's reading you, Scott, is a speed reader. They can read very fast. Yeah, because I have so many pieces of furniture at ex-girlfriend's house, I could probably fill up Versailles. I mean, it's literally thousands of dollars because I bought the same, because I moved back in with the situation, and I wound up buying the same

ottoman that I had a year ago. Because it's just the same one, and I forgot I left it at her house. Yeah, so what's going on? Are you putting your apartment back on the market? Cuz, the apartment's back on the market for now, but by the time this episode comes out

on Halloween, it could be off. Cuz, look. Look. Okay? I used to think you were a hyena, but now I'm pretty convinced you're a hamster. You're a hamster and you just enjoy taking the wheel for a spin.

It's what it is. I just like to be on that wheel and keep spinning. You like it to fucking spin, spin, spin. And look, to anybody who's childless, who wants to go trick-or-treating like Benetia, Deebo is available to dress up in a baby costume. Yeah. If you dress up in a baby costume, you could go. said he's going to halloween this year as a football that's what he said he wants to dress up as why the hell not why the hell not i'm gonna fucking punt him off the verizono bridge

go ahead just fucking punt that guy because you know one time me debo patty fly balls and chrissy the worm we went uh like egging we threw you know throwing eggs in the neighborhood and fucking debo dipped eggs in there and threw them at patty fly balls and he had a clump of hair missing for about six months because he used to dip them in fucking shaving cream and then one time he dipped them in there i mean what can you do yeah i mean halloween in the outer boroughs is always shaving cream egg i remembered the n Nair. I remember doing that. Like, how does that catch on? How does that catch on to kids in different neighborhoods?

Because I'm older than you, so it got passed down to you. But that's what we used to do too with Nair. But it stopped. Nobody throws eggs anymore now. Now they're fucking going to be out there saying, please vote. I'm like, hit me with a fucking egg. Stop giving me a ballot. Because we used to throw eggs at buses.

We used to throw eggs off the roof. We used to throw eggs at other kids. Everyone threw eggs. When's the last time anybody got egg? Pimp and Vanity, it doesn't happen anymore, right? Yeah, it doesn't. When did eggs, when did egging stop? I remember middle school, it stopped.

It stopped, really? So it's been stopped for years. At least what I've seen. What's the reason? I don't know. The cops, like, really come out hard during that time. Well, we'll see. We'll see once the police, It's been stopped for years. What I've seen. What's the reason? I don't know. The cops like really come out hard during that time. Well,

we'll see. We'll see once the police get defunded by Halloween, it's fucking going to get lit up with yolks. It will get lit up once again. How's the upper West right now? V is, um, is it still,

uh, is it still kind of sketch with all the people using drugs outside or, or is it getting better? Nah, it's better. Nice. Nice better nice nice nice nice well welcome back from greece we missed you so much you guys missed you babe you want to read patreon names let's wait veneti is coming over with the note yeah oh there we go oh i got veneti's

phone open yeah why don't you take a little scrolly, Pook? For 500 on the Patreon, I'll post a pic. I'm kidding. Okay, so start from 74, V? Okay. All right, as always, we read our newest members of the matriarchy. We're sorry we're a little behind. So many of you guys joined. We appreciate it.

Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We encourage you guys to make a fun name, and we give the winner the PPW, the Pseudo-Penis of the Week. So here we go. J.cguire welcome ryan veach colton flander fiander lucas desandro neil hegerty dave dan drezga jack then we got the hyenas gained 40 pounds in august but 25 of those pounds were binky mike's loaf yeah what you're gonna do with that one is you're going to put him clearly in the lead and I'm calling right now. He's not getting beat. That's so wild.

The first real name we have, you saying could be the winner and we still got a lot of names to read. Yeah. I mean, that one was the creativeness, the funniness, top level, top shelf.

Here we go. Chrissy pepperoni, nipples and Yanni yogurt with sprinkles. Drexler. Drexler. Drexler. Austin LaPari. Then we got I Have AIDS But My Dick Worked Good. Yeah, put him on the list just for pure funny chicken finger.

That's the definition of a chicken finger. Chicken finger. Then we got Thomas Porcelli. Give him a Drexler just for being bored of Sauce Monkey. Yeah. Then we got Paulie Ponglinas. Stevie Stinky Binky. Stinky stinky binky almost a chicken figure i took a bite and it's still frozen then we got hey bird smells bad and fucks dogs chicken finger that's what's going on to the list then we got jp eric then we got danny make no

mistake i'm going to come for you in a different gay cause you're fat, fat, fat holy shit, on the list a different gay now we got what they call a photo finish we got a competition, we got game 5 game 7 well game 5 tonight, Yankees race

yeah let's go, let's go fucking Yanks even though this episode's coming out on Halloween alright, sorry I'm talking about the past then we got Tyler Masai Let's go. Let's go fucking yags. Even though this episode's coming out on Halloween. Yeah. Sorry. I'm talking about the past. Then we got Tyler Masai. Then we got Chuck ready to spew my glue on Yanni's smashed bean and lick it clean read. That's a good rhyme

scheme. Drexler. Then we got I went to Epstein Island 26 times and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. That's very funny. That's a Drexler. Then we got just here for the content. Then we got Marky still parties fully charged with lip gloss on his stink star, even though his Gmail account was hacked by an Eastern Hemi. That is what you call a whole famer coming back. And look, I just want to say I appreciate the hustle and you deserve it. Guys right there,

what you just heard is an all-time great, an all-time great Patreon name. Then we got Just Here for the content. Then we got Yanni Nets, a.k.a. Yanni Sweats, S-O-K-S. Ruben Martinez, Shellac Mosquitoes. Then we got Luca, my mom named me after a song

about domestic violence, Gally. Then we got Kyla. Then we got Nick with the warty glue gun. So I don't need rib condoms. That's a direct slip. And we got Steven Sellis M and we got Jeremiah drip Dick. So I got a doxy cyclone script Delgado. Yeah.

Throw him on the list for the ride, scream and creativity. Then we got charity Hanson. Then we got Nikki. I'm on the spectrum with Chrissy'sity Hansen. Then we got Nikki. I'm on the spectrum with Chrissy's Dickie and my rectum Hawkins. Drexler. Then we got Cole. Every time I peel my foreskin back,

I got enough cheese to fuel Chrissy D's keto diet with ease. Yeah, that's Drex. Yeah, Vantia just dry heaved in her mask, so it's a good one. It was gross. Yeah, it was gross. Yeah. Vanity just dry heaved in her mask, so it's a good one. It was gross. Yeah, it was gross. So then we got Nick. Then we got Kai Willimson, Maddie Taylor, Sarah Goodwin. Then we got

One Glue Over the Poo Poo's Chest. Brad Gafford. That's really good, Drexler. Sorry. That deserves recognition. Then we got Quarantine Germ-X, but make no mistake, I use it as lube because I like to burn in my skin flute. Skin flutes.

Then we got T-Falk, Ambush, Tyler Knob. Then we got Justin, probably Potato Monkey, but too screwed in for DNA test oats. Then we got Mommy Made Me Eat Binky's Meatloaf. That's good. That goes on the list. Then we got Brandon, Lizard Lot lizard lot dumpster thought chrissy makes me want to thumb my balloon not hadley went for it then we got uh then we got feeling dizzy because father bill cosby is handing out the communion g sorry feeling dizzy because

father bill cosby is handing out the communion grape juice and and he put small G capital R-A-P-E juice. Yeah. You know, Father Bill Cosby is the king there. It's already been done. But, you know, good try. Yeah. Then we got Jonathan. I got a half Puerto Rican child, and make no mistake, her mom is wild Maniscalco.

Chrissy just knows what you're going through. It's what it is then we got my side piece smells so i call her my fumar that i mean i mean wow wow because that sounds like it was written by a professional comedy writer i'll read it again my side piece smells so i call her my fumar wow so now we have a new leader we got a new leader change of four years i'm gonna call you kamala harris oh my god then we got banana finger guns uh then we got fernando diaz rs, Gabe DeBabe. Then we got Yanni and Chrissy sitting in a tree, C-U-C-K-E-N-G. Cucking, yeah, funny. Oh, got it.

Drexler, Drexler. Then we got rope shooter McGavin. Then we got shooting ropes on my main span of cope, Yanni Punani. Then we got Cole. Then we got Benny G, a lanky freak who matriarchal birth, the wanky squeak shall inherit the earth. Okay. Then we got refried beans.

Then we got Nick, if my real penis shoots gravy, but hold on. If my real penis shoots gravy, but a piece of penis shoots babies, which penis is more real? Johnson, I don't know. Oh, if my real penis shoots gravy, but a pseudo penis shoots babies, which penis is more real? Johnson, I don't know. Oh, if my real penis shoots gravy but a pseudo penis shoots babies, which penis is more real? Okay. Went for it.

Then we got Tom Horvath. Then we got T-Zizzle. Why does my urethra sizzle? Then we got Mikey, my wife's a Puerto Rican doctor but still uses a chancleta. What can you do? Then we got James McCann, TJ. and we got james mccann tj then we got elena maria libertari then we got cuz fan then we got whitney houston straight to the crack i mean i mean these are some hit heavy hits we got a big lineup here this is uh throw her on

the list and she deserves the catapult then we got joe delphin aka joey daca joey honestly aka joey i just want to bang out and get away with it r kelly for president funny the last part was funny he gets a direction for the take giving us a long day straight to the joke it was good then we got nikki red sauce uh luke strand then we got giovanni call me the power bank because bubba's if you plug in you're getting fully charged good one drex and then last but not least we got come on and eileen good solid drexler he put anted parentheses goes come on parentheses ant eileen yeah okay so that's a good chicken finger to close it out dre Drexler. Again, if you're

a Drexler, it just means you were born in the wrong era. You were great. You might've won if it wasn't for the Michael Jordans that we got. And this one, I swear to God, we got, I think it's four Michael Jordans. Can we hear them again before we make a decision? Yeah. Okay. So we got my side piece smell. So I call her my fumar. Wow. Then we got Whitney Houston straight to the crack. Then we got Danny, make no mistake, I'm going to come for you in a different gay because you're fat, fat, fat. Then we got the hyenas gained 40 pounds in August, but 25 of those pounds were Binky Mike's loaf.

So, I mean, who wins? Holy shit, cuz. My vote is side piece smell, so I call her my fumar. Yeah, I mean, you know what? I mean, it's almost like Michael Che or some professional comedy writer got in here. Maybe Che, when you guys had the beef, Che joined the Patreon, and see who he was up to, and wrote that name. It's possible, but I mean, you can't look past

straight to the crack Whitney Houston. Yeah. You can't look past that one. That's a goodie. And then you also can't look past the other two. I mean, the Fulmar battles me over, but the other ones make me laugh hard. So we got to go to a full team vote here.

We got to go to a full team vote. So my vote is side piece smells, call it Fumar. Loaf, who do you got? Fumar. Loaf's got Fumar, Venetia? Fumar. We got three Fumars. All right.

Just to make the other three feel good, I'll say my vote's for the other three. They all should win, but Fumare just came and saw this list in a different way. It's what it is because there's always next year. What can you do? All right, Yanni, we'll see you soon. Hopefully the baby comes soon, and it's going to be great, cuz. I mean, cuz, if you don't fucking think,

unfortunately for you, I've already implanted, I've surgically implanted a GPS tracking device into your wife's fallopian tubes, so I know when that baby's coming. Yeah, so the baby's coming soon. Thank you, guys. Remember, very important, go rate and review us on iTunes.

Go write something nice. Give us four or five stars, whatever it is. What is it, five stars? Give us the most you can. Give us the most. Turn on your notifications on YouTube. And the most important thing, I'm telling you, this is what it comes down to. Tell your fucking friends about the hyenas.

Tell your friends you know would love it share it in your stories if you guys are proactive we grow we love the love and we love you right back yes thank you guys Bye.