History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 176 - Joey Diaz is WILD!

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

Joey Coco Diaz is finally on the East Coast, where he belongsWe do things a bit differently here on this side of the country and he’s a happy kid. Recorded a day before Election Day, Joey shares with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas that he can’t vote. Make no mistake, Joey and Chrissy D bleed east coast Cuzzies with their accents!Joey is so happy to be back on the East Coast and shares his true feelings about his time in Los Angeles. He knows that Comedy Central and Quibi are done, they’re saying the same thing over and over again. According to Coco, they lost their credibility, sleeping on Chrissy D, Yanni P, Tim Dillons, and others!Being that Joey is a Cuban kid, he suggested talking about the Cuban Missile Crisis. He doesn’t know much but asks the boys to teach him about the day the Cold War almost turned into a Nuclear War!! WILD.Joey will be back soon in the studio to talk about history and how it’s like being on the East Coast. Excuse the Wifi, Hyenas, AND Joey D’s internet went out at the same time, crazy Cuz!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website 🎥 Mike Lavin our producer on InstagramSubscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Big shout out to today's sponsor, Helix Sleep. I took their two-minute quiz, and guess what they did for me? They matched me to the mattress that was right for me. You know me. I'm Christy Bitschips. I got a wide-set ass, and I just got a weird-shaped head and a weird-shaped body, and I took this quiz, and they gave me the perfect mattress for me. You will find your perfect mattress at helixsleep.com slash wild.

Go there right now. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. We are blessed today. We got the great Joey Coco Diaz in the building. Well, via Zoom. Via Zoom. It's what it is. He's finally back on the East Coast where he belongs. It's just, you know, the East Coast thing, it's just a different, it's just, we do things a little bit different out here, Joey.

I hear you, and I'm fucking back. I'm back like herpes. You understand me? I fucking love it, dude. It took me two months to get acclimated and the bullshit and to get that L.A. fucking stink of fucking, you know, that fucking needy smell off me. And I'm back. It's great to be back.

I'm happy to be back. My kids are happy. My wife is happy. And now you're back on the East Coast ready to do what's right tomorrow on election day. And fucking put in the vote. I can't vote. I got the felonies.

You forget. I got. That's right. I can't. Well, listen, I'll throw in. What? I can't. I can't.

I can't vote, but I carry a gun. So I'm one of those felons. That's what it is. Well, you know what? Don't worry, Bubba's tomorrow. I'm going to do a little voter fraud and I'll throw in two more. I'll throw in two votes for Trump for you. It's what it is. Well, you know what? Don't worry, Bubba's. Tomorrow, I'm going to do a little voter fraud, and I'll throw in two more. I'll throw in two votes for Trump for you. Don't worry about it. But you got to understand

one thing. I'm in Jersey. I've been out of Jersey since 83, and I know I still vote in Jersey. I know for a fact, some motherfucker is voting. My mother's been dead for 41 years. I'm sure she's voting too this fucking Tuesday. When you're in Jersey, they take everybody. I'm sure she's voting too this fucking Tuesday.

When you're in Jersey, they take everybody. I'm telling you, it's fucking creepy. Yeah, well, what about this? Jose Diaz. They don't know. They don't fucking know. Look, with everything, you can be and do whatever you want in 2020. I'm going to vote. I'm going to vote once as a guy, and then

go back in line, tuck it back, and vote once as a girl, because that's my right. Fuck them. Keep doing it. Yeah, absolutely. If you transition, yeah. You voting? I'm not voting. I'm not voting. I'm hoping, I think it's time for a dictator. Enough of letting the Russians meddle

in our elections. It's time for us to have a dictator so the Russians can't do that anymore. I'm ready to move on from democracy. Jesus fucking Christ. You're giving it up to the commies already not a commie i want to let's go far right let's try that one we've never done that oh you guys are asking for trouble no well you listen you know but we live that's the thing we fucking we're sneaky little slippery fucks. We live one way on the internet and then we live another way on TV. If we get a TV shows, all of a sudden we're getting naked.

We're voting. We're doing what's right. We're saying Kamala, first African-American vice president who's not African-American. And then once the fucking, once we're in the internet on the home studio, that's it, baby. We got Trumpy bears coming out of our ass.

You know what I love about you and joey you and joey are probably the two guys in the comedy scene that could not lie about where they're from no matter what character they ask you to play yeah you guys are so new york new jersey so this northeast area right you can't hide it it fucking bleeds out of you yeah i don't want to hide it no i never intended to hide it i always wanted to know people where the fuck i was from the accent the whole goddamn thing in fact i gotta put an audition on tape today and i'm like you know what this guy just isn't me i'm wasting my fucking time this guy's a fisherman somewhere in south carolina

how do i fucking look like a fisherman somewhere in South Carolina. How do I fucking look like a fisherman from South fucking Carolina? I'm not fucking auditioning. I'm not doing it. They'd have to change the role. It would have to be a guy in a witness protection program from Jersey

in South Carolina. No, no, no. There's just shit I can't get rid of my accent. No. I can't, you know, they used to send me out on all these auditions and I'd go, it's not gonna work. I don't know voices.

I can't do Chinese. I don't know nothing. You know, these people who can speak with an English accent, I can't do any of that. I can't do voices. And you shouldn't have to. And you shouldn't fucking have to i mean you know no but but but even now like what hollywood would say if you what so if if you if you're you know you're a spanish guy acting like a fucking portuguese guy is that are you

allowed to do that because now in the hollywood they'll say you can't fucking you know what do they say if somebody in a role acts outside their race? What do they call it? Appropriation! Appropriation! And you're a fucking nerdass! You're appropriating culture. That's bullshit. James Caan was a great sonny. I don't care if he was Jewish.

That's what acting is about. I didn't get mad at Andy Garcia and the Godfather. I didn't get mad at any of that shit. They're acting. Now, in hindsight, fucking Pacino was terrible as a Cuban. It's a fucking movie so good, you don't give a fuck, you know? Yeah. I mean, that wasn't.

You don't give a fuck. That wasn't really a Spanish accent he said. I mean, that accent was just like, that is Scarface's accent, and that's it. It's just a character he created it's like foreign man right right it's fucking crazy when you watch it now you're like what the fuck was this wait Joey so you're a Cuban guy you're a Cuban kid yeah Cuban kid born in Cuba raised on 205 West 88th Street apartment 3A till the fucking fifth grade. But I went to Catholic school in Kearney, New Jersey.

But I went to PS 166, was part of the PAL, fucking snorted glue, the whole fucking thing. Harlem, the chicken place. My godmother lived on 148th. You know, I was a fucking city kid. You're a New York City

kid. I still remember walking from 88th Street to Times Square to see Her Majesty's Secret Service that's how fucking old I am that was like a James Bond movie in between Sean Connery and the other guy the guy's name was George Lazenby

like I used to fucking walk all around that goddamn city yeah and then drugs came into the picture Lazenby. I used to fucking walk all around that goddamn city. Yeah. I don't like the back of my fucking hand. And then drugs came into the picture. Once drugs come into the picture, you're fucking all over the five boroughs. I was in

Soho, Noho, Brooklyn, Gravesend. You go everywhere to cop. Fuck the museum. What boroughs got the best drugs? No, he was dealing them. No, I wasn't selling them. I was copping them.

We were living in Jersey. We were living in Jersey, so we'd go over to fucking 135th Street, Jerome Avenue in the Bronx. I went to Staten Island one time. We got threatened by the mafia. We left. But my favorite all-time cop in place was 135th and Amsterdam.

Why was that your favorite? Because while you were there, it was a discotheque slash chicken fight. They had disco people snorting coke in the daytime, and they had roosters fighting out in the yard. I remember one day I went up there. They had

shot somebody, and they had a lookout on the corner to tell you to go around the corner to a different location while the cops cleaned up the fucking shooting on Amsterdam Avenue. Fucking tremendous. I'm in New York all the way to my bones, guys. And now on 135th and Amsterdam,

they have a fucking, or they did before the pandemic, now they have a free comedy show at a hostel. So things have just changed a lot there. We used to get drugs and see chicken fights, and now it's like a gentrified, hostile, stand-up show that they do. I mean, you'll see the fucking palest, whitest, skinniest kids walking around that neighborhood now, and you just didn't see it back then i like to talk to guys who because yannis you know was was born in the 70s i was born in the 80s when were you born 50 60s 63 but i didn't come to new york till 66 till 66 so you saw you saw a different new york than all of us like everybody the people places you talk about now in new york kids are like it's all about gluten-free cupcakes now but you saw the real shit. No, no, it was it was tremendous. And I had I'm Catholic. So I had a Catholic godfather who picked me up every Saturday and took me to fucking Times Square. And he took me to see the love bug and like the world's strongest man with Jan Michael Vincent.

Then he pulled me aside and he goes, listen, no more of these fucking kid movies. If you want to go to the movies, you got to go see my movies. He goes, you just can't tell your mother. I go, fine. First movie, the Belachi Papers. Then we just went up from there. Everything that came out. Times Square.

It was fucking crazy. People hanging out in the corners playing three card Monty. I still remember getting beat by a three card Monty guy chasing him. Fucking tremendous. Just tremendous. Those were the days where your parents or your uncle or whatever just took you to the movie.

They were going, I remember my parents back then they took me to see like movies like jagged edge. And then I wouldn't sleep for like two, three weeks. It would just drag you wherever they they were going my grandfather didn't give a fuck no they didn't give a fuck my grandfather in the in the in the 90s mid 90s me and and and my cousin he would watch us during the day while our moms worked he took us i would to green acres mall out in uh in nassau county took us green acres mall he took us to see don't be a menace to south

central while drinking a juice in the hood and fellres Mall, he took us to see Don't Be a Menace to South Central while drinking a juice in the hood and fell asleep. And then he took us to see the movie Clueless. That's what we would see. And we saw each movie like five times in the summer. But I mean, Don't Be a Menace to South Central while drinking a juice in the hood is just, I mean, it's sex, drugs. And this guy would just be sleeping

because he didn't take his diabetes medicine. And that's just what it was. And that was like being a kid. That was great. Now it's like, if you did that, my grandpa would be in jail. It's it sucks it's crazy it's fucking crazy how when i go up north i live in south jersey when i drive north i'm old so i gotta pee i can't fucking pull my dick on the side of the road and pee no more i know if you get a ticket for peeing you gotta

register as a sex offender i know that yeah my brother got a ticket for peeing, you got to register as a sex offender. You know that? Yeah. My brother got a ticket for peeing and he had to register as a fucking sex offender. So now I got to fucking pull over three times every time. You can't even take your dick out. The penis. Bro, my grandfather, we would drive to Florida and he would hate

fucking stopping. So he would make my grandmother, I was a little kid i don't i barely remember it i was maybe three so i don't remember but my mother told me he would he where they were driving there was traffic he didn't want to pull over he made my grandmother empty out the shit in her purse he made her piss in the person and she threw the piss filled purse out the window on i-95 that's how it was you fucking didn't stop or get out or pull your generals out and pee on the side of the road with him.

Nobody knows nothing. You know what I'm saying? Fuck it. You're peeing a water bottle. Whatever. Things have changed. They've changed a lot. We're here now. We're here now. We got to accept it. Like Bill Burr said in his monologue, you wanted the old New York, now you got it.

People are getting bitch slapped. They're getting smacked. The city's boarded up. Are you happy to be back on the East Coast? You're not going back West. You're going to stay here now? No. I'm fucking done, my friend. I am done. That was

a Vietnam tour of fucking death. That was it. That was it, guys. This journey started in 93 I came back to New York I got my footing I did some open mics at the New York Comedy Club I met

Mike Buschetti in 93 and I went to Colorado for two years I developed went to Seattle for two years stayed up there in that fucking hellhole, and then went down to L.A. And I've been in L.A. since 97.

It ended. What's the biggest difference, you think, between L.A. and New York that you saw? I know where I stand. I know where I stand with people. I know where I stand with myself. And I know where I stand with people. I know where I stand with myself. And I know where I stand with my friends. LA is a great place to go when you're young. I had a great time. You know, you watch the documentary on the comedy store. It was great. But it was, it's not a good place to raise a kid.

Like right now, I'm in the mood to get an attorney and sue L.A. for the last seven years of having my child there. Because this is a complete different fucking world for a kid. That is not a world for a kid. Everybody I know had a fucking nanny. You know, all the kids she hung out with had fucking nannies. That means there's no direct connection with your parents because your parents want to be fucking jerk-offs. And nine out of ten times, like, I'd go to a swim class with my daughter, I'd be in the pool, me, a fat fuck.

And there'd be six other kids in the pool with their nannies. And the parents were sitting there. Guys, the parents were sitting there with their fucking faggot fucking sandals on with tattoos, texting people, lying, telling them they got a pilot or some shit. And they really got nothing going on. Like, you know, the last four years I lived there, it wasn't until

I came back to shoot the prequel to The Sopranos. I was here for three weeks and I really enjoyed what was happening in my life there was no fucking that feeling of

not degenerate but that that's just not even needy it's like I don't even know what to call it it bleeds onto you and when you're away from it you feel it the desperation when you're away from it, you feel it, the desperation. When you're away from LA, you go, wow, I'm not bumping into desperate fucking people anymore.

Well, there's an honesty here. Like in New York, you meet a fucking waiter, the guy's a waiter, you meet a contractor, the guy's a contractor. In LA, nine times out of 10, you meet somebody, whatever job they're doing is just to buy time until they become a contractor in LA, nine times out of 10, you meet somebody that whatever job they're doing is just to buy time until they become a famous movie star, whatever they want. So everybody's sitting in their own bullshit for a long time. We're in New York. I feel like at least there's a sense here where it's like, Hey, you are who you are. And you kind of just got to accept it. It's like, if you're not going to make the movies kid, it's like, you got to find a way to pay the bills to rent and shit's too high here where LA., I think they can live on this dream a little bit longer.

And also, I feel like L.A., it's just it's a lot of times it's a city of, you know, who's the most cutthroat person in your fucking class moves out to L.A. to try to become a movie star or director. And the city is full of just cutthroat people that have no roots there. Where New York is like, you know, my family's been here for over a hundred years and nobody thinks about leaving. You know, even me, I only go to LA for a few weeks and come back because I want to just try to make my career and my opportunities here. I don't want to leave, you know? Um, but LA it's like, you kind of just go there temporarily, try to make it big and then come back. But that's why I think somebody like you, you did what you want to do on your own terms and now you're back and you can make just as much money have just as much fame as these guys in the movies

by doing from home in new jersey and being with your daughter every day it's a beautiful life it's uh listen i i'm not saying i drank the kool-aid but the first three or four years i listened to what they were saying to me. Do this on stage. And then one day I'm like, what am I, a fucking monkey? I didn't come here to play to their song. I'm doing this my fucking way. And I changed my stand-up. If you talk to Rogan,

he'll say that I was struggling for a long time and one day it just hit me. It was about 2001 where I was like, fuck these motherfuckers. Fuck the Montreal Comedy Festival. Fuck them off. You're doing stand-up

to be funny. I heard people coming up to me going, you know, you got to change your material. It's got to be about your family. They have to see your sitcom. What fucking sitcom are you talking about? I don't know fucking sitcoms. I'm doing

dirty comedy. Nothing bothers me when somebody calls me a celebrity. I'd rather you call me a fat fucking spick. You're in the right place. Don't call me a fucking celebrity. I'm not a celebrity. I'm a dirty fucking comic.

Well, here's the irony now you're making more money on the podcast and doing things your own way than you would ever on a sitcom these sitcoms like Giannis has said before podcasting is the new sitcom I mean well you know you go on the Joe Rogan show your life changes you go on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

nobody cares nobody sees it nobody gives a Frenchman's fuck. Listen, Comedy Central and Quibi are fucking done. Yeah. Comedy Central and Quibi are fucking done. Why? Because they played the same broken fucking record. What did Quibi do?

They took all the shows and all the people that have canceled more fucking shows than cancer these people are a ton of kisses of death meanwhile I got Yanis and fucking you up there rocking the house I got Tim Dillon nobody's talking to you motherfuckers

Quibi didn't even talk to you this is what I'm saying they're playing the same record with the same people. I could name five, ten people who all they do is go on shows to get the show canceled. That's it. And they put them back on the show.

They re-put them back on the show. But meanwhile, Chris and Yanis are sitting there until your ass grows roots. Nobody talks to you. And I can't figure it out. Comedy Central lost their credibility. Common Central lost their credibility. Yeah, but... Common Central lost their credibility.

And look... Besides Daniel Tosh and a few other guys, they fucking sucked. They sucked. They were promoting the wrong people. And then when they had a chance to do the right thing, they still fucking sucked. Fucking Democrats. They were trying to... They started to try to say the right thing they still fucking suck yeah fucking democrats they were trying to

yeah they started to try to say the right thing which is like the opposite of comedy it's like whatever you say it has to be right it's got to be righteous it's got to be credibility but you know what though credibility but as part doing the podcast and you know you mentioned a guy like a tim dillon andrew schultz all guys, they sell five times the amount of tickets as somebody who's been propped up by the industry could sell. Dude, me and Giannis sell more tickets than some people on Saturday Night Live. So who gives a, so, so we're like, fine, go, we won't make your variety list. We won't make, who cares?

We're fucking making money from home, selling tickets, fuck everybody. And we've never even been on Joe Rogan. We've never even had the major platform. We're doing this shit our way and we feel proud about it. It's a lot funner this way anyway. This is the best. Yeah. You said it best. How long can Hollywood prop these fucking stiffs up?

Yeah. And the people seen right through it. People saw right through it. Yeah. You know, they were coming down to the comedy store on Tuesdays, and they were watching all their fucking heroes getting blown out of the water. Getting blown out. By a fucking animal. Blown out of the water.

Yeah. I've seen three or four comics that didn't even want to go up behind some people. Like, they were chickening out. No names here. No names. You know who the fuck you are, you cocksuckers. But I saw a lot of guys stop coming to the store because they couldn't follow the fucking heat.

I believe it. They were America's fucking sweethearts. Yeah. They were America's sweethearts, and pretty soon they just jizzled over to the improv and the laugh factory. Or fucking, what's the other place where the alternative comics

go? The Coronet Theater or wherever the fuck they go. It was a comic book store, right? Oh, yeah. Largo. Largo? Largo. They take it to Largo and everybody loves everybody. But that's what was great. Towards the end of the store,

we were just bitch slapping motherfuckers. Like they were coming in with their motherfuckers like they were coming in with their fucking industry bullshit and they were getting the fuck out of it it was quick yeah quick it was tremendous so and it's also and also it's a way around this cancel culture where you know fine if you're a bad person fine but most of the time people getting canceled for bullshit because it doesn't meet an industry standard where now if you have the podcast on the youtube you let the people decide i love to be in the position where the people are deciding my fate not fucking colgate toothpaste that puts pressure on comedy central

to cancel me for some something i said 10 years ago i i would never want to be in that position and luckily you know we're not now and even if they come to you with something that you said 10 years ago they could go fuck themselves like i've had with that shit when i listen when that's i knew this was going to become a problem you saw the writing on the wall look they changed fucking columbus day to ambiguous day right the fucking uh what do you call it? Indigenous People's Day. Okay, right away we lost the war, guys. Now what was the next thing they wanted to do? They wanted to put Halloween on a Saturday. Go fuck

your mother. They gotta learn how to party on a Tuesday, these fucking kids. You can't make, you know what I'm saying? Once you start doing that shit, once you start doing that shit, you create a problem. So now a Supreme Court judge is going to get nominated and some fucking ugly chick from a frat party shows up 22 years later and says that

he covered a mouth in a party that was not good we shouldn't have paid attention to that right because it was 22 years ago as a human being we change every seven years so even if the guy covered your mouth he fucked up for not putting his dick in your mouth that's what he should have done if he would have knew what you was going to say now you know that you covered his fucking mouth so once we allowed that to happen in America

then they started in with this shit that Chris said something in 1982 that Yanis said something in 2001, that Yannis said something in 2001. You know what? You can all suck my dick. Because that was a long time ago. We felt a lot

differently about life. I got a daughter now. I wouldn't do half. I don't even smoke dope in the fucking house. Like, I don't smoke dope in the house. It's a personal fucking respect to my seven-year-old daughter. She don't fucking have in the house. It's a personal fucking respect to my seven-year-old daughter. She don't fucking have a clue. But that's the type of dude I am.

I don't smoke. Listen, I smoke dope with three hands. You know I don't have weed in the car with me at all. I don't smoke in the car. Because we have, as Americans, we all already have the right to fucking smoke dope. Why you got to smoke it in your car and smack a cop in the face? Why you got to bother? You know what I'm saying? Smoke it in your backyard.

Go for a walk with the Chinese guy that lives next to you. Get a high. Wear a mask though. Always gotta wear a mask. Around the Chinese, you gotta wear a mask. You gotta wear a mask around everybody. You know what I'm saying? Don't blame the Chinese. I go see a Puerto Rican about a nickel bag. I gotta wear a mask. You gotta wear a mask. All of them. I gotta wear a mask. You know, it's funny. I go see a Puerto Rican about a nickel bag. I got to wear a mask. You got to wear a mask.

All of them. Yeah. I got to wear a mask. You know, it's funny when you have a daughter, they change like you. That's respectfully, you don't smoke dope in house because your daughter,

I've, I just had a daughter two weeks ago and I've realized every time late night where I've taken out my phone to throw on porn, to jerk off. I felt like something's wrong with it. I feel like I shouldn't be doing this with my daughter sleeping in the house. So what I did is I went and jerked outside in the woods.

I did it outside out of respect for my daughter. You're a sick fuck. She doesn't know I did it, but I know I did it. But you know you did it. Yeah. And maybe a few neighbors knew I did it. We're fucking it's weird. We're fucking comedians. A lot of us have daughters. What do you think's going on? All we're doing is pumping out girls. We're fucking comedians. A lot of us have daughters. What do you think is going on?

All we're doing is pumping out girls. We don't have enough testosterone to be real men because we do skits. Anyone who gets on stage and does performance is a little fucking gay. All three of us, even though we're guys, we got a little bit of touch. We got a little sugar in the tank. Yeah. You can't look your friend straight in the eye and say, come see me perform on Friday night. God has a weird

sense of humor, guys. Whether you believe or you don't believe, whoever the fuck is watching over things has a weird sense of humor. Who would have thought after 13 years of being with a woman that I would have knocked her up at the age of 50?

13 years I've been with that woman. Now I've been with her for 20. After 9 years, we got a cat. We're like, this ain't going to work. The THC levels in my sperm, the tropical helmet juice ain't working. And all of a

sudden, out of nowhere at the age of 50 with all the shit i've been through in my life god throws or somebody satan buddha whoever fucking runs the jews somebody threw a blessing on me of a daughter at the age of 50 to really fucking throw. So, you know, you always want to be a tough, all you people who say you're not atheists, you got to believe in something. There's something out there. Let me, Joey, let me ask you, you're a Cuban, you're a Cuban guy.

Now what's more scandalous growing up in a Cuban family, coming home with a, like, if you're dating someone who's a prostitute or a Democrat, which your parents more disappointed about? Well, first of all, I got to talk to you guys about something. I throw in my life. There was no politics whatsoever. And in my mom's life, there was no politics.

But Cubans go to the right bank. Cubans go to the right bank. Cubans go to the right bank. If I tell you something, you're not going to believe it. I don't know anything about the right or the left. Did you know that? All I knew, we grew up fucking Catholic. My mom didn't want me to be gay. She wanted me to be in the

army and shoot people. Those were our dreams. And for me to become an attorney after I left the army. That was her plan for me. She felt that she owed... No, I didn't fucking do it. I chickened out on the fucking blood test for the army.

And instead of becoming an attorney, I ended up going to prison. So I didn't do it. I'm not a political guy, guys. You know why? Because it doesn't matter who's president. I still got to get up and earn a living every day. So I'll vote for the president that lets me sit at home, scratch my balls,

sniff my fingers, and smoke dope all day. I don't have time for politics in my life. I don't. I don't have a clue of politics in my life. I don't watch the 630 News. I don't. I don't have a clue of politics in my life. I don't watch the 630 News. I don't know nothing. I don't want to know nothing. All I want to do is live my fucking life.

I don't lean right. I don't lean left. I don't even know what that means. You guys think I'm fucking kidding you. No, we get it. We don't vote. We joke around, but we're the same. We're fucking, I mean,

they call me Chrissy chaos. You know, we, we, and you know, Yanni's down the middle. We're just in the gray zones. We live our lives in the gray zone.

We don't take a political stance at all. We just fucking go where the wind goes. It's so weird how I don't pay attention to it. I don't believe it. I grew up nuts and County guys. Right. That's a micro... That's politics in a micro

dose. So I can't even imagine the thievery and the scandal and the shit that goes on in the macro, in the bigger picture. I grew up watching the micro. Just county politics. Jersey politics.

You know, it was Hudsonudson county and cook county whatever the fuck illinois is that would corrupt as fuck when i was growing up i never i never really paid attention to politics what about when you were a little kid and the cuban missile crisis was going on did that did that have any heat on the family or no no no that's what i want to talk to you guys about today because you guys are fucking intelligent as fuck. I want you to break it down for me. Let's do it.

Let's do it. So... I want you motherfuckers to break it. And before we move any further, I want to give a shout out to my nephew, Luke Gallo. He's the one that turned me on to you guys. Nice. He's the one that talked me into to you guys. He's the one that talked

me into fucking going on your guys' show. He said, you guys are great. You're fascinating. So here I am because of my nephew. So you guys got fans out there that fucking reached out to me and said, those are two solid motherfuckers up there in Brooklyn.

And I promise you, next time I come up, but this week there's no school in Jersey because of the fucking conference. So I had to just throw my wife out. I had to tell her, you got to go. Because the sun is out. My wife's from Tennessee. She's like, well, it's

windy out. Who gives a Frenchman's fuck? You're American Indian. You people grew up in the fucking wind. Get the fuck out. There's no TP. There's no TP the fucking wind. Get the fuck out. There's no teepees. There's no teepees in Jersey. Get the fuck out. Take my little half-breathed daughter and get out of the fucking house already. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, my wife's American Indian and Irish, and I'm Cuban. This is a bad combination here. So when I'm trying to do a podcast and I want to go off, I can't have my daughter upstairs. So my wife, for some reason, I come home today from the gym, and I'm like, what's going on here? She's like, well, it's windy out. You're fucking American Indian.

You guys grew up on the fucking wind. You know, I can't even sneak up on an Indian and you're worried about the wind. Get out there. Fucking beg for snow, whatever the fuck you fucking Indian do. Now, I have one of these mattresses and i sleep on it every single night and it is absolutely amazing my favorite part about helix when they sent me my mattress is that all you have to do is take this quiz on their website

and it lets you know which kind of sleeper you are and you match up with their questions, what you want. And the next thing you know, they send you a cloud to your liking to lay your body on. And it's no, this is one of the most important times in history. It is crucial that you guys have a soft mattress

and Helix is going to do that for you. Number one, Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattresses and two free pillows for our listeners. All they got to do is go to helixsleep.com slash wild capital W I L D helixsleep.com slash wild. And it's important because 50% of the country based on who's president is just going to want to sleep for the next four years. So you're going to need a Helix mattress. So take the quiz, go to helixsleep.com slash wild, get $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows. Yeah. If you're sitting there with an old mattress, just trust me, go take their questionnaire

and get yourself your own specifically tailored mattress for the type of sleeper you are. It'll up your life quality like you don't believe. My back doesn't hurt. I'm a fully straight man now. Thank you, Helix. $200 off. I mean, $200 off all mattresses? That's an insane bargain.

And two free pillows? Helixsleep.com slash wild. It's what it is. I have a helix mattress i took the quiz it's the only quiz i passed uh in a long time and it's been great and i'm telling you helix is just a great great great great great mattress company everyone's sleeping well and like i said 50 of this country is going to want to sleep the next four years so go to helixsleep.com slash wild go there get your mattress if you need a new one, go there. Yeah, I got a little half-Greek kid.

I got a Cuban-American-Indian kid. Are you fucking nuts? I got to hit the pads this morning. I'm a fucking savage. You're a savage, man. Yeah, you look great, too. Well, I got my daughter's half-Puerto Rican, and then Yanni's

is a half-Greek, half-Italian, which to the Greeks, if it's not Greek, it's a half Italian which to the Greeks if it's not Greek it's a half Greek yeah no it's three quarters and you're Irish Chris I'm yeah Irish

Italian and German so just a classic fucking Brooklyn mutt and then the Puerto Rican you motherfuckers love those Spanish women yeah

Iconic had enough of that yeah you can't yeah I know. You motherfuckers love your Spanish. Me, I like those dirty Irish chicks. I'm a Catholic dude.

I went to fucking St. Michael's. I did the whole thing. Give me an Irish chick with a little dirt on her heel. I'm all in. You know what I'm saying? Give me an Irish chick with red hair and fucking freckles on her titties. I love Irish chicks. Yeah, Irish chicks always got a little dirt Give me an Irish chick with red hair and fucking freckles on the titties. And that's my world.

I love Irish chicks. Yeah, Irish chicks always got a little dirt on their knees or their feet. Yeah, a little dirty. And they tolerate me because their dads are fucking crazy. Yeah. So my best friends are Irish chicks because they're used to their dads being nuts. So, yeah. It's my favorite.

If I look back, well, I i'm married i can't say this but yeah what do you ever say for you i just feel like it's worth it to be catholic for how freaky it makes you people right like you catholics are freaky people because you grow up thinking it's bad and then so when you get into the game it's all nasty shit and I appreciate that and it sucks like I really bought the Catholicism thing guys like I really was all in I was a young Cuban guy but I gotta tell you I still remember sucking my first set of titties

behind the church and thinking I was gonna die in the winter like I remember sucking some titties I thought you know and I built like a little fucking glue the next day like I wanted to I wanted to you know, and I built like a little fucking glue the next day. Like I wanted to, I wanted to, you know, I was a young kid and some girl gave me a little funnel tits.

But the first time I sunk titties, it was behind the church for a week. I walked around thinking God was going to kill me. Like that's how Catholic I was. I think the first time I finger banged the chick too was behind the church. You did all your nasty activities in the church. Yeah. Yeah. First time I got jerked off was in a rock in the woods by a Catholic girl

from Catholic school, St. Saviour's. Yeah. Because you're not – Yeah. Especially when they come from an all-girls school. Yeah. They're ready to suck dick. They're ready to go.

It was – She was hot. They were so fucking crazy. She was doing Hail Marys the whole time she was doing it. Yeah. She was asking for forgiveness while she was doing it,ys the whole time she was doing it yeah it was she was she was asking for forgiveness while she was doing it and that turned me on a little bit yeah yeah i fucking same thing with me dude i would never you know being catholic i'm saying joey

catholic my whole life i would never jerk off on good friday because that's the day jesus died you gotta have fucking penance i would never i would never allow myself to jerk off on fridays because that's no good um i would jerk off on eas because that's no good I would jerk off on Easter Sunday because you were excited that Jesus rose from the dead and was coming back so that celebration you fucking jerk off you're so happy and I never jerk off on 9-11 because I'm a Catholic patriot

yeah you can't do that what made you guys lose your interest in the Catholic church how old were you I think the priest, the priest fucking kids had something to do with it for me. Yeah. That whole thing.

But you were, you were already over 18. I was over 18, but just a couple of those news stories. I was like, you know what? I think there's some fishy stuff happening in the basement

of where I played CYO basketball. I still, and Joey and I still am Catholic. I got Catholic tattoos all over my body. I still consider myself a soldier in the army of Jesus, but I don't go to church at all anymore. But my daughter,

but my, you know, my daughter goes to Catholic school. She's baptized. You know, my mother's very, very Irish Catholic fucking red hair, you know,

very. So, so I still consider myself Catholic, but not practicing as much anymore. But really, I didn't really start to have negative feelings toward the Catholic Church until I met Giannis. Because make no mistake, Giannis is a negative Nancy Pelosi. Yeah, I just like to, when I pass Catholic churches,

I just like to yell. When I'm with Chris, we pass the Catholic Church, I just say, there's a lot of pedophilia going on in there and I scream it loud yeah and then I get fucking angry and I challenge him to a fist fight yeah that's what we do we fist fight right in front of the Catholic church that priest comes and breaks it up and we grab his balls because fucking now the shoes on the other foot and Chris has grown up and now you can get back at what that father bill did to you yeah I've said many times on on the on the show joey when i was about 11 12 years old i got i got hit i got hit by a priest father bill he caught me you know and what can you do it's when you're a catholic altar boy sometimes you're gonna get hit

but it made me the man i am today and it's what it is yeah you know and i fucking got a beautiful family now but you know yeah he i got clipped by father bill uh you know getting him one of his priest gowns on a fucking regular Sunday rainy afternoon. And sometimes, you know, you take one in the mouth and I did it and it's fine. He punched you. Right. With his dick. Yeah, off the uvula.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. He hit one off the uvula. Yeah. He can't remember ages 7 to 11, but what can you do? What are you going to fucking do?

That's terrible. What are are you gonna fucking do that's terrible what are you gonna fucking do it's just there's a little homosexuality in the catholic church deep in brooklyn and queens and you're just gonna have to deal with it and i dealt with it and it's not the same anymore which i'm happy i'm happy i don't have a son people like oh don't you wish you had a son i'm like no in a way no man i i'm praying for more daughters just because growing up as a boy at least in the brook Brooklyn Queens that I grew up in, being Catholic altar boy, got a little fucking rough, if you ask the McClarney brothers.

Yeah. It's just what, I mean, you guys, Catholic kids, they grow up good kids. Everything's fine. The priests do a lot of good things, too, that people forget. The only bad side is once in a while when you smell incense, you pass out. You just have bad memories. That's it. You see a robe, you faint, and that's it.

But it's what? I it. That pedophile smoke. You know when they pass around with the chalice? Yeah. That little purple smoke? That's the pedophile smoke. That's the same thing that fucking Batman used against the Green Hornet. That little green smoke that fucking you pass out. I never got

molested by a priest. I never saw nothing negative. I just when my mom passed when I was 16, I had a problem. I just said, like, what type of God would take your mom? And I backed off a little bit and then I went back to church

maybe two years before I got locked up. Believe it or not, I started, I made my confirmation, you know, because I got thrown out of Catholic school. And I baptized my daughter. But I don't go to church on Sundays. I say a couple of our fathers during the week and I'm good to go. I'm not going to confess to some fucking guy that just sucked a dick.

I'm not going to confess to those motherfuckers. No, that's done. I'm not saying they all suck dick. I'm just saying that I'm not in the dick. I'm not going to confess to those motherfuckers. No, that's done. I'm not saying they all suck dick. I'm just saying that I'm not in the mood. When I went to church in LA, it felt like people went to church to be seen, to be a part of something fake.

So I wait a couple weeks. I'll wait until this COVID is done, and I'll pick one of these churches around here and go check it out and see what's going on. If it's something good, then I'll become a part of the community, you know, whatever. If it's the same shit as L.A., then I'll just move on, but I'll still be a Catholic.

Now, if the holy war comes, are we – we're fighting for that team. Now, the three of us? Yeah. Are we going for Jesus or I mean if the holy work you mean Jesus or Muhammad I mean if you gotta make a choice those are the teams I mean I got a fucking cross

that says faith on my back and I got scripture on my forearms and I got my neighbor tattooed on my left tricep I gotta fight for Jesus Joey the last crusades they fucking they wiped the floor with us. What was it? Nine to one?

The Muslims won. Nine to one. We had like 10 wars. They won nine to one. So if it happens again, we better come prepared. Look, people want to shit on Muslims now. The Muslims were the cleanest, most forthright thinking people in ancient times. As a matter of fact, in the Crusade times, when the, when the Christians showed up in Egypt and Constantinople area, the Muslims were the one that were clean and had

science and would bathe the fucking Christians. They look like animals. They were disgusting animals. The Christians like to fucking strike too much. Muslims fucking shoot for the body and all fights end up on the ground. All you got to do is watch a Khabib fight to know that those motherfuckers are for real. And if you go hand to hand, I mean, they're putting you to sleep. We'll be sitting there trying to, we're trying to do, trying to jab and like you're boxing, waste of time. You get into a real fight with a Muslim, he's shooting for the body. Me, I'm taking anybody out because I bite. I'll tell you now, I fucking bite. Whatever body part is close to my mouth, I'm fucking biting. I'm Greek. I fight dirty. Just know that if you want to step to me.

Joe, who's your favorite Muslim? All-time favorite Muzzy. Go. Nimesh Patel? Habib. All-time favorite Muzzy. Yeah. Habib.

Habib. I had one Muslim friend in Boulder. He was my econ fucking major, like my tutor. Mohammed Zabib. I didn't know anything about Muslims. I didn't know anything about terrorists. He was a good dude. At first,

he had a little wang to him. He had a little different smell to him, but we became friends. He got me a bee and fucking econ. I took him out to lunch and we became friends right and uh he got me like a b and fucking econ and i took him out to lunch and we were always cool so i got nothing that's nobody so he's probably my favorite muslim that's your favorite muslim all right good yeah i mean there's a good chance if you got a muslim friend that his name is muhammad it's the most common name in the world muhammad is is you know

that is a fact that is the most common name. Muhammad Zabib was my dog. He introduced me to that whole world. He tried to turn me on to hummus. No way. Right. I'm not a hummus guy. Oh, hummus is good. Fuck that, Giannis.

Every time you eat hummus, ISIS gets a dollar. It's like, don't come no more. Hummus is just making ISIS stronger. By the way, ISIS has been very quiet during the pandemic. Sure. Yeah, because the news cycle, they're not, ISIS doesn't sell tickets right now. Only COVID sells tickets.

But once COVID's over, once that's over, ISIS is going to be next up to sell the tickets. They had the murder hornets. Those didn't sell any tickets, so they go away. ISIS was selling tickets last year. Well, they just actually, they killed a few people in france yeah uh last week so you start to see it a little bit but once covid's over here isis making a comeback in the news for sure yeah yeah i mean the you know we took the french they took a little break from drawing cartoons as

soon as they fucking drew one cartoon that's gonna cost here's just the deal you gotta know if you draw a cartoon of Muhammad, it's going to cost two or three heads are coming off. And I bet you COVID doesn't run rampant through ISIS because they all wear masks. So they're good. Yeah, but here's the thing. That's a good fucking point. There you go. Thank you, Joey.

It's important for our listeners to know, your nephew who's listening, if you are getting your head cut off by someone who's yelling, Ali Akbar, do not fight the temptation to be Islamophobic. Educate yourself. Yes. Relax. Learn. Open your world up. Yeah. Just do not, just resist that temptation. Put yourself on notice. Yeah. And just know that you are being closed-minded, and that's what we want our listeners to know.

Do not be Islamophobic if you're in that situation. If you're getting your head cut off. Yeah. What can you do? Yeah. Yeah. You're good. I'd like...

I got a fucking size 8. Is that a wrong message to say? Is that wrong? It's positive. I got a size 8 hat head, so I can tweet out all the Muhammad cartoons I want because they can't cut my fucking Viking head off. They're going to need a fucking chainsaw.

They'll take my fucking peanut head off with a butter knife. Yeah, they'll flick it off like a fucking Tic Tac. They might not even not do it because it's not enough of a fucking head for them to hold up. Yeah. What can you do? Sorry, Joey. You guys are out of your fucking mind.

Yeah, talk to me about the talk to me about the cuban missile crisis the way a greek does god yeah the interesting thing was i just realized you were born the same year as the cuban missile crisis so if you ever wanted to do comedy in the south and the black clubs you should just call yourself the cuban missile crisis yeah black comics loved they loved to have a fucking name. I mean, Joey, if your dick isn't named the Cuban Missile Crisis, I don't know what you're fucking doing. I don't know what's taking so long for you to make that connection.

It's called the Cuban Egg Roll. I'm uncircumcised. It looks like a Chinese egg roll, so I just call it the Egg Roll. That's very rare for East Coast Catholic to not have a circumcised piece. It's very, very you're a rarity. You're a fucking commodity that

you got all your skin. That's weird. My father hung out with Jews before we moved to New York. My father had been back and forth running with Jews. The way they got me into the country was illegally. So we had to give something to the Jews.

I don't know what the fuck happened. They didn't know didn't circle. I don't know what the fuck happened. They didn't know what it was. Yeah. I didn't know what the fuck happened. It's never too late, guys. You know, you can always fucking shed the skin. Fuck that. Fuck that.

I'm 57. It hurts too much. It hurts when I jerk off. Never mind the fucking circumcision at my age. Right. Right. I tell you, I lived a year in my... Sorry, Joe, go ahead. Sorry, Joe, go ahead.

No, no, go ahead. I was just going to say, I lived a year in Miami, so I got, like, very familiar with Cubans down there and how they view Castro, Cuban Missile Crisis. So the Cuban Missile Crisis, we came close to nuclear war. If it wasn't for, like, some back- channel negotiations between um a Russian ambassador and Robert Kennedy uh we could have maybe went to war so it was uh it was a tense time that was the closest we came to a nuclear war and um you got to give JFK credit because both him and Khrushchev were talking tough

uh publicly you know to their own media to make themselves, you know, stand tall in front of their people. But behind closed doors, they were trying to de-escalate the situation. And at the end of the day, de-escalation won. We pulled our missiles out of Turkey and Italy that were pointed at Russia. They pulled their missiles out of Cuba. And then we just embargoed them. And you can't fucking get Cubans now. So you can't smoke a fucking Cuban cigar because of the Cuban Missile Crisis. So that's the only bad thing that happened there. Right.

So what year was the Cuban Missile Crisis? 62. 1962. Bay of Pigs was in 59? Bay of Pigs was 59. Yeah, Bay of Pigs is when a bunch of pigs landed on the beach and then you guys just started making

jamon sandwiches with them that's where the Cuban sandwich was it was inside information man I just read there's a great book by TJ English called The Corporation and it describes this guy

he turned up being a gangster later on. But before that, he was part of the CIA and trained and went down there and got let out. He said that the Cubans were waiting for him. They had barbed wire already in the ocean, knives sticking up.

So as they were coming out, they were stepping on stuff already that was fucking up their feet they were prepared the whistle had been blown on them I believe it yeah they were right it was an inside job then they came back

they took them all to the Dolphin Stadium it's a great book you know I just haven't read it in a while to really focus on it, how they worked it. And then they had Jackie Kennedy made a speech at the Orange Bowl, I guess. Something really weird.

It's pretty interesting. I smoke too much dope. I forget all this stuff. Well, look, Joey, that's why you guys are up on this. Well, no, on the podcast, you know, they call us the Wikipedia sluts. So whatever you just said, we're going to wikipedia and google and that's what the fans are gonna do and that's how we learn history together so whatever you just said we're just people are gonna wikipedia it and they're gonna write it on the patreon patreon.com

slash bay ridge boys and we're gonna figure this bay of pigs thing out once and for all in about three to four weeks yeah you got it we we do We do. We do. We're mostly hyena, just about 5% history. So we don't do whatever history we do. We, we, reality is a suggestion

and it, whether it's true or not, it is what it is. Yeah, it is what it is. Yeah. I love to be a recurring guest on your show

and every time we come on, you teach me about a little bit of history. Oh, just a little bit. Dick, just a little bit. Tell me why Germans did this, why the fucking Nazis did that,

why the Polacks did this, why the Chinese built our railroads. I want you to teach me every time. And I promise to be a reoccurring guest if you have a lesson for me every time. It's what it is. I'm getting old and I'm kind of forgetting and you guys are young guys.

I'm passing the torch on to you motherfuckers. So every time Uncle Joey comes on, you give me a little history lesson. That's what it is. I don't care if it's about Abe Lincoln jerking off or the Emancipation Proclamation, whatever. Betsy Ross, you know, whatever. Whatever you're into.

She makes a nice flag, that lady. We would love to have you. She does. Betsy Ross, you know, whatever. She makes a nice flag, that lady. We would love to have you. She does. Betsy Ross made the flag. And speaking of Betsy, I'll be in Philadelphia November 19th to the 21st, you fucks. Yeah, and if you want a little fact about who makes the flag now, the Chinese make the flag now.

The Chinese. Just like we took the torch from you, the Chinese took the torch from Betsy Ross making the flag. Yeah. It's fucking what it is. And be careful down there in Philly on the 21st. They're stabbing people down there. I know.

They're all fucking around down there. Did you see that video of the cops running away from people the other night in Philly? Yeah. No, I didn't. Dirty cops will walk. Oh, my God, Chris. Dirty cops with shields, helmets walking up the streets like

fucking platoon and all of a sudden, I don't know what was coming down the street. They just turned around and started running. And I'm thinking to myself, like I was out in L.A. doing all that shit in July and people jumping up and down.

Those people are half a fucking fruitcake out there. Philadelphia, they've had a fucking, they had a courtroom in their stadium in 82 to contain the fucking animals. You know, Philadelphia is one of my favorite places in the world

because I'm home. I went to Glassboro. I went to Glassboro for a semester when I was a fuck-up. I was home in Philadelphia. It became Rowan now. It's a new school named Rowan. Some guy donated a bunch of money. But once I went to Philly the first time in 78 to see the Stones,

I knew I was the son of Philadelphia. They're just crazy down there. So whatever's going on in the rest of the country, they're really going to fuck shit up in Philly. I was supposed to be in Philly October 24th. And they were like, nah, no tickets, nothing. And then now you see all this shit going on. And that's fucking scary down there in Philly.

That's close to Camden. Them people don't play games, dog. And Sorkin, Camden, that's a different world down there. Right. It is. And also the big riots. There was big riots. Next time you come on the show, we'll talk about the old Philly riots. How about that? Yeah.

All right. Yeah. And we'll talk about the old mayor, Frank Rizzo. You know Frank Rizzo? You would fucking love Frank Rizzo. Out of Philadelphia? Yeah. Old mayor Frank Rizzo? Okay. Yeah. Go Google Frank Rizzo cr Out of Philadelphia? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Go Google Frank Rizzo crumb bum. You'll laugh your fucking balls off. He calls some reporter a fucking

crumb bum. Tells him to get off his property. Oh, we're frozen. Coco's frozen now. Did we lose him? Oh, fucking Joey Coco Diaz. So we just lost Joey Coco Diaz on the feed Zoom. The good news is one of the funniest, baddest motherfuckers on the planet, Jersey's own, wants to come back, get him in the studio.

We're going to bring him down to the ridge. Hopefully he'll come back on and on and on and on and on again. Fuck yeah. I mean, how great is it we finally got fucking Coco Diaz next to his nephew, Lukasz. Yeah, because Luke or fucking, what's his name? Luke fucking Raviolis. Some guido wop kid, just Joey's nephew, talked to him about us. So we appreciate that.

Joey, we love you, man. It was a great episode. I had so much fun with it. If you want to get it early, patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. Tell your friends. They can see it soon. Historyhyenas.com, of course. And chrisdcomedy.com.

I got shows in Philly, November 19th to the 21st. Yonis Papas, comedy.com. He's got shows in February. We both got little girls. We both wish we had pussies. It's what it is. Also, April 1st, we're supposed to do A History Hyenas live show Yes that's supposed

To be happening Yeah We'll see We'll see if the De Blasio shuts it down We'll see We'll see what happens We'll see what happens

Also go follow Joey Coco Diaz On Twitter On Instagram If you don't know who he is You've been living under a rock One of the funniest guys Yeah

At Mad Flavors Yeah At Mad Flavors Go follow him And what's his podcast now Binky Is he still doing The Church of What's Happening Or He's got a new pod Unfortunately At Mad Flavors, yeah. At Mad Flavors. Go follow him. And what's his podcast now, Binky? Is he still doing the Church of What's Happening?

He's got a new pod. Unfortunately, fucking tech. Uncle Joey's joint, his new podcast. Check it out. Yeah. Joey, thank you so much. Sorry we got cut off. Sorry we got cut off.

We got Metro PCS here. Yeah, we're going to get new Wi-Fi. We're going to pay for it. We're going to get it. And the guy that was supposed to install it is just having really mental health issues. And he's probably going to kill himself for the next two hours. So we just, but we're going to get new wifi. We're going to pay for it. We're going to get it. And the guy that was supposed to install is just having really mental health issues and he's probably going to kill himself for the next two hours. So we just, but we're going to get it. Peace out.

All right, here we go. Patreon list, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys doing it over zoom. Cause we're Franks and beads. We forgot to throw it into the Joey Coco Diaz episode. What can you do? Here we go.

Starting off. Um, here we go. Nick Elias, Samson sheet, sick name father bill fumar like father bill fumar like bill maher father bill fumar okay yeah i think we at this point the fumars they've been done it's tough yeah. Yeah, it's tough. Liam Gillen. Let me just say this.

Let me just say this. That's the tough thing about comedy. That's what people don't appreciate about our job is once a joke is done. I mean, somebody gets to it. I mean, it's over. I mean, that's how it is. It's like with music, people can cover your song. They can make the song the same name. But with comedians, we're just done.

And that's why we got to do cocaine and move on with our lives. It's what it is. Liam Gillen, Anthony Pierce. Then we got How's Your Dad, Stinkstar. Cody Griffin, Shirell. Then we got Anthony, Make No Mistake, I Want to Use Physical Therapy on Chrissy's Prostate. Then we got Millie, Flickin' My Edamame, Nagata. Edamame? Yeah. Can you read it again My Edamame, Nagata. Edamame?

Yeah. Can you read it again with Edamame? Millie, Flickin' My Edamame, Nagata. Let's put her on the list. Hilarious. Okay. Then we got Fuhamid Ali. On the list.

I just broke my own rule, and we're going back against what I just said. Yeah. Throw him on a list. Yeah. It's what it is. It's a good one, right? Yeah. If you come good, you can break whatever rules.

There are no rules. It's what it is. Yusef Ramadan. Asala Malayko. Yeah. Then we got Nico. My dick smells like Fede Hill Pastidis. I mean, that's a Greek, Greek, Greek, deeply disturbed inbred village Greek kid.

Then we got Martin Luther, Sean King Jr. Drexler. Then we got Fumar Scrotum. We got the Situation King, a.k.a. Kendrick Fumar. Put him on the list. That's Creative Situation King, a.k.a. Kendrick Lamar. Put him on the list. That's Creative Situation King.

The Situation King. On the list, yes. Then we got Suzanne Sobrino. Then we got Tommy. I got Puffy Nips and I'm a Silly Goose. $3 bill freaked out by Chrissy's smooth, white-ass Tylenol pill legs. Okay. Tylenol pill legs is a good one.

If you shortened that and you just went with something more Tylenol pill legs. Yeah. Yeah, Chrissy's legs are the hue of Tylenol pills. If you just said Chrissy Tylenol pill legs, it might have got on the list. Yeah, you got to tighten up. It's called tighten up in a business, but we're throwing you on a Drexler for the originality. Then we got Richie, gots to pick up the baby,

got a low-grade fever, and I don't want to be here, Mitchell. Yeah, Drexler. Then we got Gian, suck my dick, babe, can't get it hard if you don't suck my dick, babe. Pietra? That's just an old throwback to a classic. If you haven't listened to the episode with Christina Hutchinson and you're new, go listen

to it. Drexler for that. Then we got Stone Cold, Franks and Beans starring Big Titted Giannis and Drippy Chrissy. Drexler. Then we got Father Bill Withers peeing on me. It's a nice one. Bill Withers lean on me. This is Father Bill Withers peeing on me.

I know. I'll give it to Drexler because you like it, but I'm getting tired of the Father Bill. Then we got Tyler LaCroix. Then we got Mike. I'm paying $15,000 a month just to have her and Tim Dillon come out as a straight Flynn. Then we got Carter. Call my piece, Sean King, because it's dark for a white guy. Drexler. Then we got Eastern European Cabbage Monkey

with bizarre fumar sweet like Azucar Kowalowski. I'll enter the list in a front runner. Bizarre fumar is funny, right? Yeah, Azucar, it's sugar in Spanish. Yeah. Then we got Franks and Chrissy Beefs, Christopher Scott Doopey, Roberto Adan, Rondell Hopper, Eslo Gay S.

On the list. That's a chicken finger that was there for the taking the whole time. Yeah. Then we got Father Build the Wall. I think we've had that. You see, I just broke another rule of mine. You like Father Build the Wall? Father Build.

I mean, you don't like that one? Yeah, you're right. I think I may have thought that we've had it already because it's so funny. Yeah, we haven't had that already. That's on the list. Father Build the Wall. Yeah. I mean, I keep making rules, and then they keep breaking them.

I like that. Then we got Jefferson Freeman, Jonathan Yenny, Christine Morgan, Al Khalifa, Wisney, Hayden LaBelle, Rick Poehler. Then we got Johnny. I got a Sauce Monkey's first name, but make no mistake, I fit the description. Then we got Cadel Navelle, Sweet Cuck, Christopher Yapello, Father Bill de Blasio, Michelle Bolivar, Matt Race, Maurice Drumney,

Rob, too old for Chris D'Elia, but timid enough for Brian Callen, and Messina Really good, but we gotta leave that one alone Then we got Barack Fumara Then we got Cole Killiam Then we got Tacoma Rage And then Yeah, that's that's it okay uh i think it's father build i think it's father build the wall for me father build the wall i'm in the movie i think i mean what are

the other ones fuham and ali it's goodie. We might have had that one already. Fuhamed Ali, Father Build the Wall is big. Father Build the Wall, Fuhamed Ali, and then we also like Eastern European Cabbage Monkey with Bizarre Fumar, Sweet Like Asukar. Wow, yeah. Those are the three. That's the trilogy.

Binky, who do you like? Yeah, Binky, we got to go to you because those are three goodies. I mean, I like the Build the Wall one. Father Build the Wall, just the uniqueness. And I'm in the mood for chicken fingers, Bob. It's an appetizer day. He wins. Father Build the Wall, you win. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.

Thank you guys so much. Historyhyenas.com. Also, I added some new dates I got Philly I added a Thursday night show November 19th it's almost sold out and then we got

November 28th and 29th Bridgeport, Connecticut Vinnie Brand in Bridgeport, Connecticut he gave me decent money but I mean I can't stress enough how I fucking hate

when that guy's there and if he's on this show it's gonna be a problem so if you're listening or people know Vinnie don't don't come on my show. I'd rather do a one-man show than have to deal with you fucking doing two hours of material and cooking steaks.

Yeah, that's the deal. But you gave me a good door deal, so I'm coming. Princeport, Connecticut. Stress Factor, November 28th, 29th. Get tickets. And I just booked this January 30th at the – what's the theater called, Chrissy? You did? I'm doing the live stream special.

I'm doing all my characters. We're going wild. I'm doing stand-up. I'm doing everything. January 30th, 1.30 at the Wall Street Theater. Yes. In Connecticut. So there's only 100 tickets that go there,

but then everyone else can stream it online. So I'll be posting the link. Follow my socials. Get your tickets for that. We're going wild. I'm bringing every character. Panos, Marisa.

I'm bringing all of them. So we're going to go wild, baby. And Giannis Peppers comedy, Tampa in February, if it doesn't get canceled, Florida is not going to get canceled. So I'll be doing that.

And then some more dates to come. Florida is not going to get canceled. We still don't have a president. And at this point, I genuinely don't care. So I'm over it. I don't care. Whoever you want to win, they can win. I don't care.

I hope you enjoyed that Joey Cocchi Diaz episode. Yeah, Joey Cocchi Diaz, great guy. We have technical difficulties at the end. We're sorry. But thanks, guys, so much. We have upped the internet because we're fucking screwed in. And most exciting part is that Coco said he wants to come back on his regular because he's in new jersey now so stay tuned he's coming back yeah cuz and you shaved your face and if you come into the studio on monday with your

face like that i'm gonna punch it just punch it first i understand that i can't have a fat face and be shaved yeah i hate it well if you got what you have a fat face with sideburns, it pisses me off. We'll see you later. Later, bubs.