History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 179 - Jeremiah Watkins is WILD!

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

Fresh new episode with Jeremiah Watkins! THE BOYS GO FULL CHARACTER PIECE AND THINGS GO RIGHT OFF THE RAILS! Laddah 69 from Los Angeles California is in the house!! Your favorite firefighters from Laddah 14 welcome him and talk Whitney Houston, Kamala Harris, and being out in the open. It's hilarious, make sure to go to YouTube to see the guys go WILD.Jeremiah discusses his new standup special where he invites his family. It different when performing standup when the family is in the audience! But Jeremiah went for it, check out his special called Family Reunion. Jeremiah is a funny kid and loves doing characters, kid should be on SNL, what do you think? We think he does, I mean the kid can play piano and sing too! Funniest and sweetest thing he has done that had Yannis dying was sing, “I Need You”. Luis J. Gomez has a hilarious cover to it!Overall a WILD WILD WILD podcast where no history. Except for when the guys discuss how the comedy world would be if it was Ancient Rome. STILL WILD!REMINDER BABES: Even though Trump did not follow through with his promise to build a wall, Chris and Yannis did. It’s a Bay Ridge Boys wall and you can find it at patreon.com/bayridgeboys. CHECK IT OUT CUZOUR SPONSOR 🚨Brought to you by Tim Dillon's Belly Hair in support of Touch a Life, a charity. Located in Ghana, Africa, Touch a Life rescues children from child slavery and gives them a safe place to heal, grow up with an education, and grow as humans. 👉Please visit their website at www.touchalifekids.org, and consider a donation.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website🎥 Mike Lavin our producer on InstagramSubscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

We'll be right back. No matter what happens. Fuck that. He's not just my friend. He's my fucking savior. He's my fucking savior. And I just wanted to do a podcast. Some people may think he looks like Jeremiah Watkins, but it's not. This guy, Patty, Sean, I want to tell you, this is my fucking husband. Yeah, we... Hi, Remus Stanley here. Yeah, Remus Stanley. Ladder 6-9, West Hollywood, California.

Out here in New York representing, backing you guys all the way. Yeah. Yeah, you know what happens is we got these firefighters have these programs. Now, me and fucking Paddy, we went over to Germany, and we drank some beer at the fucking Oktoberfest, and then they told us we got to do an exchange program, so they fucking brought this fruit cup from fucking West Hollywood, and he's supposed to take us to some fucking museums,

and we're supposed to drink beers with him. We're supposed to drink beers with this fucking kid. I mean, yeah. I mean, what's up, you fucking Democrat? I put Molly in their beers, and we went out to a couple gay clubs, and it was just a whole experience. It was a whole night.

Cuz, can I ask you who you voted for? Oh, Kamala. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Now, let me ask you a question. Let me fucking ask you a question Okay Now this is an honest question

I'm an open book Yeah I can tell that I mean fucking first of all You forgot your shirt I mean that's not the fucking dress code Oh no this is our uniform In West Hollywood This is actually full uniform

Right here Okay cause me and Patty Got a fucking question for you Uh huh yeah shoot Now On my chest You're a firefighter right Like us

Yes uh huh Now the problem is When we go to the fire We go to put the fire out But the problem is when we go to the fire, we go to put the fire out. But how the fuck do you go to the fire and try to put it out when you're just bringing more flames to the fucking fire? Okay, I see. Because you're fucking on fire. Okay, well, yeah.

I mean, we just kind of go and we just kind of blow at it and we just say, Hey, hey, mister, we've had enough around here. And then usually it just kind of simmers out. I got a question. How do you stay so skinny? I wish I had your body. You like this? I really do, yeah.

I mean, you're a little fucking white, but I wish I had your body. I'd rather be skinny than fat, fat, fat. Let me ask you a question. Now, when you guys go to put the fucking fire out, do you use water or do you use fucking cum to put it out? All semen. All semen. Yeah.

We bottle it up and we actually put it in a hose and we're just like... You know the white stuff that's like they use for fire extinguishers and stuff on walls? That's actually cum. Where are we coming from? That's what it is. Now, when your mother had you when you were little,

instead of using breast milk to put in the bottle, did your father put his cum in there? Did you suckle on that? Let's just say that was the last time I ever saw a pussy. Yeah, we knew that. A lot of 14. Yeah, we knew that. Do you just shit out Whitney Houston CDs?

Yes. Yeah. Whitney Houston, Evanescence, just a lot of good stuff. Now, let me ask you a question. How did you get- Why did you want to grow up and be a fire person? Because I've just always been attracted to hot things, and just I've wanted to push myself and just really, really be around.

You know, it's a team sport. There's not enough jobs out there that are team sports. You know what I mean? Yeah, because if you touch me like that again, I'll come. It's a character piece. Now, it's a team sport. There's not enough jobs out there that are team sports. You know what I mean? Yeah, because if you touch me like that again, I'll come. It's a character piece. Now, let me ask you this. Are there also firemen who work at your firehouse? Yeah, I mean, there's some firemen.

There's some guys there? There's some guys, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you need to hook up or what? No, I just wanted to know if it's all firewomen like you or is there some guys there? Oh, you're calling me a firewoman. Yes, a fire queen.

I'm just saying, you know, we over here, ladder 14. You know, we only got like one, two, three women, but we don't really have any fucking fruit cups in the firehouse. We don't have any fucking fruit cups at all. But except nobody's out in the open. I mean, this kid's fucking on fire. I need a fire hose just to fucking do this interview. I mean, I'm a fruit pint because there's two cups in a pint.

Yeah. Yeah. It's what it is, guys. Yeah. So, yeah. So, wait. So, you were telling me about that you got a husband. His name's Jeremiah Watkins.

And what's he doing? What's he got going on? Oh, I love him. He's got a new special coming out on December 8th. And you can actually pre-order it now on his website, jeremiahwatkins.com. Wow. It's his first one-hour special.

So, he's really excited. He's out in New York just trying to you know get the word out there and stuff yeah I got a question for you now do you think yeah okay

why doesn't Jeremiah Watkins ever do Joe Rogan or or I mean this guy's fucking on

everybody everybody has him on Kill Tony why doesn't Jeremiah Watkins get on the big show this guy will literally do anything,

and I don't know why he hasn't been on there yet. Yeah, I mean, does this kid got to dress up like a fucking flamer? I mean, how funny does a kid got to fucking be to go on your fucking show? I mean, God forbid you had twice on there. I'm like, Joe Rogan, you don't want some of this? I mean, we're ready. That's what it is. I mean, put this kid on Saturday Night Live.

I mean, look at this fucking guy. Now, let me ask you a question. When you're in the fucking fire, because, you know, we're ready. That's what it is. I mean, put this kid on Saturday Night Live. I mean, look at this fucking guy. Now, let me ask you a question. When you're in the fucking fire, because, you know, we're doing this exchange program. We're learning a lot of culture here. So when we're in the firehouse here on the nights when we don't have fire, we usually sit around watching Departed for like the 47th time. Yeah. You know, fucking cook up some chicken franchise. Patty likes to fucking, he likes to do French fries.

He's good with that. Sure. And how about you? On the fucking nights when you guys are cooking, what do you do? You do a German sausages and fucking watch a Mariah Carey's movie? We play Let's Spin the Bottle. We play a lot of Sorry, the board game, and Don't Wake Daddy.

Have you played Don't Wake Daddy? No. Ooh, classic board game. Milton Bradley. You got to look it up. Now, listen, you must have a lot of work over there in Los Angeles because of West Hollywood because it's always on fire and there's a lot of games.

There's so many riots going on and stuff like that. Yeah. There's been a lot of work over there in Los Angeles because of West Hollywood because it's always on fire and there's a lot of gays. There's so many riots going on and stuff like that. Yeah. There's been a lot of work for us lately. A lot of times we get called and they ask us to take a couple of fucking cats out of a tree. Have you ever had to pull a G.I. Joe figure out of this guy's ass? Yeah. I mean, the stuff that these guys come into West Hollywood with, It's just rammed up their butt pussy. It's just so much stuff.

I mean, really, it's really fascinating. Like, one time I found a full, full Marilyn Manson catalog shoved up there. Wow. A six-set DVD. Wow. Yeah. Marilyn Monroe. No, Marilyn Manson.

Marilyn Manson. Who the fuck's that? That's the fucking guy that killed everybody. And that's not even big in our culture. That, Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson. Who the fuck's that? That's the fucking guy that killed everybody. And that's not even big in our culture. That's not even big. Oh, you're talking about Charlie Manson? No, it's like a combination. Marilyn Manson's a woman, though.

Yeah, you're talking about that fucking woman, Marilyn Manson? It's the guy who removed some ribs so he could... Oh, I thought that was a woman this whole time. I thought that was a fucking girl. Hey, would you remove a rib? Holy shit, I fucking jerked off to that guy a few times. What it is? Yeah. Now, would you? Would you remember? I fucking jerked off to that guy a few times. What it is? Yeah.

Now, let's. The beautiful people. How about just in the middle of the podcast, let's switch characters and just be ourselves, but keep the costumes on. Yeah, let's do that. Okay. Welcome back.

What's up, Jeremiah? How you doing, guy? Honestly, I was wondering when we were going to switch. I was wondering when we were going to. Yeah. I was wondering when we were. It's hard for you to get out of character wearing that. I mean, it is.

Yeah. You look like someone just raped Waldo. They finally found him. He's like, no, no, no. That's what happens, guy. So, Bubba, you're finally in fucking New York City. The night before the election, even though it's going to come out in two weeks, your wife and unborn child are on the West Coast.

They're fucking surrounded by Democrats, so they should be safe. Yep. Welcome, Jeremiah. Should be good. Of course, Jeremiah Wonders podcast. Favorite on the hyenas. Oh, big time favorite. Return guest.

Our episode with you was a fucking banger. Banger. You got a special coming out. You did it all yourself. Now, tell us all about it. So, shot in Kansas City at a club called the Comedy Club of Kansas City. Kansas City, a place, Kansas or Missouri, is a place that's mostly white and votes to the right. Yeah.

You got it. That should be on a postcard with Kansas City. White to the right. White to the right. That's how we lean. You know what I mean? So, what club did you do it at in Kansas City? So, the Comedy Club with Kansas City. Whiting to the right. Whiting to the right. That's how we lean. You know what I mean? So what club did you do it at in Kansas City?

So the Comedy Club of Kansas City. I shot a weekend of shows there and the premise behind it, like the concept is my family, they sat like right in the front row areas on the right and the left side.

Okay. So my right side was my mom and her new husband and friends and on the left side was my dad and his new wife.

So I'm in between, I'm literally in between family on both sides. And I talk about them in my act and stuff. And it was just super awkward. So I have meltdowns throughout the hour. And I comment on it. It's kind of like the through line. And then I did like some interviews with my family and stuff.

That's amazing. It's called Family Reunion. Did you do it during COVID or pre-COVID? Pre-COVID. So December of 2019. Well, I just made it. Yeah. Is it all stand-up or you do characters and stuff?

All stand-up. I do like characters within it, but it's all in the stand-up form. So you won't see that. Did your mom or dad have an issue with anything or was it all good? They're pretty chill for the most part. I ended up bringing my mom up on stage because she was heckling me at some points of the special. Isn't your dad like a pastor or something like that? He was a missionary's kid.

Oh, he was a missionary's kid. Fucking freak! He grew up in the Cayman Islands. Holy! So does he have an accent and shit? Your dad? Yeah, this is how he raised me. He's like, Jeremiah! That's funny when like white

guys are just on the fucking those islands yeah they i mean they were yeah they're they're only the only white people on the island but you were born in kansas yeah right there we go so all right well that's a fucking actually crazy interesting idea here's the thing for a special man yeah it is but i tell you i'm gonna buy it amazon prime yeah yeah amazon you inviting your family to your shows is like a nightmare. It's the most stressful thing. You do it all the time. But I regret, I was supposed to have a special in Chicago

before COVID and before Comedy Central took everything away from me and they collapsed and they took it all away from me. But I was supposed to be doing a special in Chicago and I purposely wasn't going to tell my family the dates and purposely weren't doing it in Chicago. Just so, even though I have a very supportive, loving family and I'm appreciative of them, when people listening purposely want to do it in Chicago just so even though I have a very supportive loving family and I'm appreciative of him when when when you know people listening that want to do stand-up or like fans of comedy when your family at least for me and I'm sure it's for you Jeremiah as well when your family's in the audience my whole set changes my whole mindset

changes my anxiety is up so much more because you know you're just being judged by them even if they're not outwardly doing it you feel it and I do not want the best case for me is nobody that i know is in the crowd only fans that i have never met on a personal level or don't know from the time before i did comedy that's what it is because family it's a fucking nightmare when they're at the show but jeremiah walked right into it which is an amazing idea for special it. It's kind of made, it's a unique thing that it's part of your special. Yeah, very like,

I mean, you'll see, I riff on it and stuff throughout the, I even do like, I do like some incest jokes and stuff like that while my family is in the audience. So that, you know, there's just like weird layers of that

with them watching it. Did any of it, not Bob, but did any of it make like, you get any reactions of your, yeah, nice. That was a Yanni Poppins fart. That was Yanni Biden.

He sounds like he just shit out a condom. I mean, this guy. Did he just shit your pants? What was that? I think he just shit his pants. No, I think he shit his pants. That sounded like a Pokemon. Yeah, dude, there was something in his ass.

He goes really into character. I go deep. I stuck dick for six weeks leading up to this gig. For this moment. Can you imagine being Venetia's parents? So, how was work today? She's like, well, Jeremiah came in. He did a little gay fireman character from West Hollywood.

And then they farted into microphones. And then Joey Coco Diaz talked about how Kavanaugh didn't rape that girl. It was a pretty good day at work. Yeah, Jeremiah came in. He did a whole gay character. Shit his pants. Joey Coco Diaz talked about how Kavanaugh didn't rape that girl. It was a pretty good day at work. Jeremiah came in. He did a whole gay character, shit his pants. Joey Coco Diaz called people fat. Chris did a whole episode about how he's voting for Trump. So it's been good. Who

wants cookies? Oh, Mom, I forgot. The only problem was we just didn't have a t-shirt size to give to Jeremiah. But other than that, it was pretty good. Pretty good day. Pretty good day overall. It it was pretty good i kept my mask on the whole time yeah yeah you got a wild job but it's fun it's 2020 fucking yes yes it's just good to be making any money now jeremiah you got a lot of fucking talent i mean the kid is fucking there's no way you can get i would go into fires like this i because, make no mistake, if you come into a fire,

if you go into a firehouse, if your house is on fire, and a fireman comes in with his fucking helmet like this, and Jordans, you know one thing and one thing only? That fireman's black. Out of 14. He's got his head on backwards. Yeah. I was about to say, you know what you look like, like, did you play, when you play baseball

with Puerto Ricans, that's how they wore their hats. They wore their hats like this. They wore their hats like that. Puerto Ricans love to wear their hats like that. Puerto Ricans just do that. And that's why they're so good at baseball, because they really play most of their life not seeing the ball at all. They're playing blind.

They're playing blind. Now, you're a kid with just a lot of fucking talent, Jeremiah. You do impressions. No, real serious talent. Why isn't he on SNL? He should be on SNL. He's also a lot of fucking talent, Jeremiah. You do impressions. No, real serious talent. Why isn't he on SNL? He should be on SNL. He's also cut, dude. He's got a swimmer's body.

Look at this. So, do you eat a healthy, wealthy diet? Terry Crews, watch out, dude. Watch out, dude. They call me Jerry Jews. Do you eat a healthy, wealthy diet? My wife has me eat vegetables and fruit and stuff like every day in the week like i try to eat some kind of fruit every day right that's the goal but when i'm on the road

i eat like just whatever what about drinking booze or you don't booze at all not at all zero zero alcohol yeah so that's i drink a lot of water i drink a ton of water which that's the only beverage you drink you don't drink anything else uh maybe on the weekends I'll do like a pop or something. Right. We call it pop in the Midwest. Right. So for the most part though, it's what during the week, Monday to Friday, your diet is fucking great.

It's, it's all right. It's, it's, it's pretty good during the week. Yeah. I don't know why I feel like putting the suspenders on like, is like putting a shirt on. Like, yeah, it's like, okay. It's, it's less awkward. I'm like, yeah, come on, dude. Put some clothes.

Put that over your nipples. Just one second. Real quick. How how long you been married for now uh three years yeah been with her for over 10 years though gay right one vagina for that long i don't know if you guys noticed, but I took my wedding ring off for the gay character and then I put it back on for afterwards. One thing about Jeremiah is, you know, he's a fucking loyal kid, this kid.

He's a good kid. Jeremiah's just a good kid. If you follow Jeremiah, if you don't, you should. He does all this funny stuff, character stuff, character stuff. And then there was this one day, and I just can't. I watched it over and over again because it was because he's never like like earnest you know like he's always joking around

and funny and shit and then there's just one video he just he wanted to fucking let the world know about his love for his wife yeah so he did so it's funny you're seeing like video of him going like you know doing a crazy character Another fucking crazy And then you're just And then out of nowhere There's just like Him and a keyboard

Fucking totally Like serious musician Just singing an original song About the love for his wife His fucking wife And it's It's a good song He's talented

He can do that too He can fucking play the instrument You're seeing talent But it was just funny To watch him be serious Yeah And then I gotta admit

Luis J Gomez oh dude it's so funny it's so funny what he did it's so funny what happened Luis J Gomez

did a spoof song he's like I am a can we pull it up can we pull it up somewhere I mean cuz Binky shaped up

his fucking beard I mean fucking Binky looks like a human being right now Binky finally looks like you Binky looks like a human being right now. Binky looks like you look like a conquistador. Yeah. Netflix. Yeah.

Netflix, they shaped it up for you? They shaped it. Wow. Really? Yeah. Dude, it looks good. Looks real strong. You're a fucking handsome kid, son.

Yeah. That's funny, dude. I mean, so it was just funny to see Jeremiah looking at the camera. Oh, yeah. Like, serious. Yeah. Like an R&B singer. Like, just going for it. I got to find it. Is it on your Instagram? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Serious. Yeah. Like an R&B singer. Like going, just going for it.

I got to find, is it on your Instagram? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the other one's on Lewis's. I got to see, dude, and dude, Jeremiah is one of those guys where it's like, even like he just does things for the love of comedy. Like you did a thing, you messaged me the other, a couple of weeks ago about Dan Soder's piece.

Oh, yeah. We're talking about Dan Soder's dick. I'm like, Jeremiah will just do things that makes a comic look good at funny moments just because I feel like he's the guy that just more than anything just wants the people to succeed. Yeah, he's got that energy

where it's not like there's no negative energy. I could never see him being bitter about somebody getting something. Oh, dude, I'm always, I never get that. When comics are like, dude, what about me? It's like, dude, make your own thing. Yeah, well. Be stoked for somebody else that got something. Oh, dude, I'm always, I never get that. When comics are like, dude, what about me? It's like, dude, make your own thing. Yeah, we're all.

Be stoked for somebody else that got something. That's it. Yeah, dude. It doesn't take anything out of your, we're going to try to find this. We're going to play this.

It's on my YouTube as well. It might be easier to find on my YouTube because it's pretty deep in the feed at this point. Oh, wait, there's the Ladder 6ix9ine. You can watch that

if you go to Jeremiah, what is it, Jeremiah's Stand-Up? Jeremiah's Stand-Up on Instagram. Yeah. Did somebody have fucking Jeremiah Wonders or Jeremiah? No, I wanted people, because I do so many things, I want people at the end of the day to know, like, I'm a stand-up. Like, I do a lot of characters.

I do music stuff. But, like, that's what I do every night of the week. Right, right, right. Yeah. Because that's, it's interesting you say that, because that sometimes is a problem with being as talented as you are as you do so many things. You're like,

how do I funnel my audience into the one thing? Right. Type in, I need, I need you. I need you by Jeremiah Watkins. 10 out of 10.

Yeah, what happened? Oh, there we go. There we go. So this is real. This is earnest. Now, what was this? This was Valentine's Day or your anniversary? No, none of that.

It was just out of the blue. Sometimes... Look at his face. He's fucking serious, dude. I go for it. I go for it. He goes for it, dude. Here's the thing.

COVID does different things to everybody. Yeah. And this was what it did to me. It put me in a musician mindset, and it really made me explore my emotions, the emotional side of myself and I'm like, I'm going to put out this song, let people see a different side of me.

It's something that my wife was even surprised that she saw and she's like, oh yeah, you're gay. So we're going to listen to a couple, we're going to listen to a little bit of this and then we're going to go to Gomez. I love you. a little bit of this and then we're gonna go to Gomez. No. I long for your warm embrace. The caress of your face.

We just work. Dude, you can't make a song like this without warning your comedian friends. Yeah. You can't just put this out there. Did you see that? You were dying laughing. Dude, when I saw this,

I watched it a hundred times. When he looks up, up is what gets me. Get ready. Get ready. I need you. It's a good fucking song. Chris is just, he's from a place and he's just this type of kid

when he sees you open his mouth and he's watching this, he just wants to shove a dick in it. Yeah, it's just what it is. I'm just the kind of kid as I like this kind of music because it sounds like the 1975. Now, did you plan to put on a button down for this and like make it official like that?

Yeah, and yeah, I put thought into it, which was funny like cuz the the version that Lewis did let's see Lewis Go business out Lewis's I wonder I think he only posted on his Instagram Since the moment we left I think he only posted on his Instagram The jizz across your face Fuck you bro And fuck god he put you here Holy shit you're queer And I don't know Why you put out this video And I

I hate you and everything you do. And I, I hate you. Please kill yourself, my dude. How long ago was that? When did you post the video video that was a few months ago uh but you you know what is interesting is when i put something out where it gets that much talk dude i that video more people have hit me up about that i've been like i was gonna say you inadvertently made the funniest video of your life right right right right, right. You know, a lot of it is you.

A lot of it is because, like, all the other videos are funny. Oh, yeah. And then out of the blue, I almost thought I was, like, looking for the joke. Dude, people waited the entire time. They're waiting for the turn. And then, like, that's kind of the funniest part of the whole thing is, like, there is no turn, so the joke is them being like oh he just wrote a he just wrote a song do you know which one it could be which one this could be yeah i know it's it's it's it

might be the black i don't know if it's the black uh oh and i don't know why you put out this video It's probably on Reddit, right? Yeah, if you did like a J.K. Lewis, Jeremiah song. Yeah, it's gotta be. It's so funny. It's great. Dude, yeah. Because Lewis and Jeremiah had a slap box contest, a match, where Jeremiah like really whooped his ass. Yeah.

Because you got that reach advantage on him. And I saw him struggling. his ass. Yeah. Cause he's got that, you got that reach advantage on him. And I saw him struggling. Did you see the version of a fan put the version of my song versus me slapping him and like a mashup and it's,

it's, it's pretty beautiful. Because the thing, the thing with Jeremiah, it's great. As you can just, you're a guy like you're great at going along with the bit. Like,

you know what I mean? I'll lean into it. I'll go for it. All we got to do is fucking lean into it. That's why I like, you know, you know, that's why sometimes with our comedy peers now it's like we're getting canceled by our own comedians it's like what the fuck is that no yeah no this is like could you imagine like you know some other type of comedian you just fucking made fun of them and started singing that they were the fucking fudgy Fuck you, bro.

And fuck God, he put you here. Holy shit, you're queer. You're gay. You are gay. Yeah. Did you get a blowy after that, though? My wife? I mean, my wife liked it.

Yeah. Yeah, dude. I had multiple guys hit me up that were like, dude, I played this song for my girl, and I got laid because of it, dude. Yeah. I was like, sweet. Well, dude, let me ask you this. Are you going to, once the baby's born, are you going to be the type of parent that posts your baby on social media or will not post your baby? If you have to guess right now.

I will be selective. Right. right now i will be selective right uh i don't want to do i don't want to post a lot because i post a lot in general just too much in general um so i don't want to do that like with my kid you know what i know that you never you never really post your wife like you keep your i keep my personal stuff pretty pretty separate and she doesn't care she's not like hey why don't people know about me post about me she doesn't she's no she's not like, hey, why don't people know about me, post about me? She doesn't. No, she's not like that. That's amazing because she gets it. It's the worst when it's like they want to be part.

It's like, what do you want me to fucking do? I have to post about you now all the time. It's like if girls are going to DM me, they're going to DM me. It's character piece. Well, that's the thing. She wanted to at some point. She's like, can I see your DMs? I was like, I will not show you those.

Yeah, because a lot of it is fucking guy. A lot of it's crazy shit. I'm also not interacting with it either. So I'm like, there's nothing for you to see. I don't respond, so I don't want you to know about the stuff. Yeah. There's no point. There's nothing to gain from this.

Yeah, there's nothing to gain. Exactly. It's only things that could be taken out of context. Yeah, there's nothing to gain. Exactly. It's only things that could be taken out of context, you know? It's like, you know, it's like if a girl sends me a video of her sticking, you know, wrapping one of our History of Hyena's t-shirts on a dildo and stuffing up her ass.

It's like, I'm going to heart that, but I'm not interacting. No, it just gets a quick heart. It gets a quick heart. It's a quick double tap, and then you move on. Am I wrong? You double tap, and then I'm gone forever. I delete it. Let them know that you appreciate the work.

Move on. Yeah, that's it. I say thanks for the support. I delete it. Let them know that you appreciate the work. Move on. Yeah, that's it. I say thanks for the support. I'll be in Philadelphia. November 19th. Hit up on Patreon. Yeah, I'll say Snapchat CT TV and then we move on. You know what's funny?

When I was in, I think I was in Turkey looking at some of the old. You fucking Sandy. I think I was in Turkey looking at some of the old You fucking Sandy. And we were looking at some old Roman ruins. Yeah. And in this old

you know Roman whatever outpost or whatever they had a brothel. The tour guide told us this whole story about

how the guys would sneak away from their wives and they had like these like arrows, hidden penis arrows. That were still there? Still there, yeah. That's sick. And it was like there was underground tunnels to get there. It's just funny to think that even back then,

guys were trying to sneak behind their wives' back and do shit. They were just regular life guys back then. Yeah, and there was no way you were going to get caught cheating back then. It was probably like a whole guy's life, part of the guy's life, where like some woman followed him, found the secret passage, and they had to fucking change it. Yeah. It's like all we hear about is like emperors and stuff like that.

But like Romans had regular lives. Regular lives. They had fucking hummus sandwiches, and they probably had a version of like a radio show that we're doing. Yeah. And they're just like forgotten by history because they weren't Nero, you know? Yeah. No, I agree, dude.

Would you have fought a lion back in the day? Huh? Would you have been in the Coliseum? Would you have been fighting lions and stuff? I think I would have risen up to be emperor. I think that would have been something. I agree. Because when I saw that you could have a harem that would have been my goal back then

I think that's like rockstar status having your own harem and for me and my job would be because he would be the emperor and I'd be like his first hand man my job would be is to just make sure that emperor emperor Yanis Papouas has women's feet at all times

for him to suck on or else he gets angry and people are going to die unfortunately villages would get burnt on fire has women's feet at all times for him to suck on or else he gets angry and people are going to die. Unfortunately, villagers would get burnt on fire if I didn't bring him a fresh 23-year-old girl's foot to just put in his mouth. Where is my feet? I need the feet. He plugs them up like lollipops and that's just what Emperor fucking Yanni Pupu does.

I think I would be a just ruler, but there would be a dark side. For every ruler who's just, successful, like Trajan queen Elizabeth, you know, successful rules. I think there's a dark side that doesn't make the history books. And I would need to be fed. Unfortunately,

there'd be a family that would lose. They would lose a girl to my harem. Yeah. Every week, probably days. We have a daily, daily. We have a saying on the show.

If a girl is really hot, like a smoke show, we just say she's for Rome. Or our fans will write Rome. And that means, that comes from, we had spoken about if Giannis was ever emperor, he would take, he would order me and Binky, we would have to take women that he liked in the village for Rome.

They're the property of Rome. And we would pay the family. But unfortunately, as an emperor, have a harem of women that he likes for Rome. And they'd just be on the line. They'd the property of Rome. And we would pay the family, but unfortunately, as an emperor, have a harem of women that he likes for Rome, and they'd just be on the line. They'd just be legal. Wait, what are you saying we'd pay the family? You just made a policy decision without consulting the emperor.

Oh, I guess we're not going to pay the family at all. Oh, okay, yeah. It's for Rome. You're doing a duty for Rome. Yeah, we're not going to pay the family. You're doing a service. We're taking your hottest daughter. We're not paying family. And we're going to take all the shoes too. And you will kiss the ring of Giannis Papas.

Because it's just what it is. It's just what it is. What do you think if you were Emperor Jeremiah? What would your rule be like? Are you too nice a guy to rule? He's a nice kid. He's a Christian kid. I might be too nice to rule, man.

I might be too nice. Yeah, rule? He's a nice kid. He's a Christian kid. I might be too nice to rule, man. I might be too nice. Yeah, you would get killed. You and Chrissy's rules would be a fucking disaster. Yeah. It'd be a disaster. Yeah. They'd be too conditional.

They'd be too conditional. Wait, let me see because you had a funny text about if we were ruling but I'll fucking edit it. Hold on. Let me see because you had a fucking

10-edit text. Because Chrissy would just say he says yes to everything so they'd be like, hey, the vandals are at the border. Should we let them invade? Chrissy would be like, yeah, the Vandals are at the border. Should we let them invade? Christie will be like, yeah, they're probably nice guys. No big deal.

How long are they staying for? How long are they staying? No big deal. I mean, it's a 10 out of 10 text. I'm going to read it. I said to Giannis, I said, why am I even allowed to vote? And then Giannis says, yeah, if you look at the thousand years plus of Rome, democracy doesn't and can't last.

I mean, Queen Elizabeth, probably most successful ruler in modern times, times and she was dictator so maybe it's just what we agates deserve Schultz's rule would be fierce that people would fear him Tim has appetites and he'd manipulate and blackmail he'd yell at people but would not murder cares too much you would be loved but that would lead to absolute chaos eventually and you'd be beaten to death by feminist anarchists but I would come in and save you from death by talking to cuck and tricking them talking cuck to them talking cuck to them and tricking them I'm good at emergencies I'd gain rule and you would know as long as I had one or two girls in my take it from family with decent feet to munch on I'd be measured and firm and I would rule for 50 years in Pax America I would have people

executed but nobody would miss who I executed Binky would be executed for body shape make yeah make zero make zero mistake I would have Harriman clean what I wanted and I said we should do a modern day Rome sketch and then he never wrote back and then I said and cuz listen to me you listen to me good I am fat fat fat waiting at 243 this morning and then I did

I say Venetia also would be she would she would have be cleaning for a German family you say yeah you'd be cleaning for a German family. You'd be cleaning for a German, but I can't say that part because, so she'd be cleaning for a certain type of, yeah, she'd be cleaning for a certain type of person who's from a certain part of the world. Yeah.

You missed a spot over there. It's a little dusty. Come here, village girl. Excuse me, over here, child. I need you to clean out the cellar. Yeah, so that would be, I think I would rule justly, but there would be a dark side.

I think Timmy would have appetites and things like that, and he would actually be manipulated because people would give him the pleasurable things he likes, and then they would be able to take him down. Schultz would be a little too heavy-handed. He'd murder too many people yeah and he'd create too many entities just get one and here we go here's here's fucking barney rubble as i'm checking text just text me hey i was walking and my glasses fogged up so i took them off at that point a bug flew into my eye and scratched my cornea they gave me eye drop should clear up in three to four days if not i need I need to go to an ophthalmology doctor. It's like, Dad, you need money.

I'll give you money. Yeah. Don't bring corneas into this. Yeah. Because you've been betting? Of course. Look, gambling is now legal countrywide. Right.

If you're going to do it, do it the easy way. Go with the most reliable. You go to MyBookie. You're probably at MyBookie already because that's the way you gamble. MyBookie. Here's the deal, though. This is how you gamble as one of our fans. First of all, you go to MyBookie, and you put in the promo code HYENAS,

H-Y-E-N-A-S, the promo code HYENAS, and guess what? You are going to get a halfway match on your deposit. So if you put in $200, they're going to spot you another $100 to play with. I mean, because it's halfway. They're going to spot you halfway. They imagine what you put in. You go to mybookie.comomoCode Hyenas, gamble away. Seriously, please use the promo code.

Go to my bookie. I mean, even if you, whether you like to gamble or don't like to gamble, I mean, what other site's going to give you half of the money you put up to $200? So if you put in $200, they'll give you $100. I mean, it's unbelievable. You put in $100, they'll give you $50. I mean, because you do, I'm not good at math, but that's right math, right? Yes, and if you're a Hyenas fan, there's no other way to do it.

Put in the promo code HYENAS, and they take care of you that way. Because look, we're a couple of guys that come see you, and we don't see you in a different way. We take care of you. We take care of you, and it's anything you want. UFC, presidential prop bets, any major sport, whatever you want, babe. They got you. MyBookie's got you covered.

MyBookie.com, promo code HYENAS. Do it. Do it. It's Thanksgiving. Go bet on those games, y. They got you. My bookie's got you covered. Mybookie.com. Promo code hyenas. Do it. Do it. It's Thanksgiving. Go bet on those games, y'all. Yes. All right. As always, we're brought to you by Tim Dillon's Belly Hair.

I mean, this kid, he auctioned the tier and he won the tier. He's got a fantastic charity. Truly fantastic. Giannis and I and everyone at Hyenas have donated our money towards it because it goes to a great cause. It's a charity in Ghana, Africa that rescues children from child slavery and gives them a safe place to heal, grow up with an education. The website to donate is touchalifekids.org. That's touchalifekids.org.

Brought to you by Tim Dillon's belly hair. Do you have a parent with a gambling problem? A parent with a gambling problem? Because, you know, here at the Hyenas, we have at least one parent who with a gambling problem? A parent with a gambling problem? Because, you know, here at the Hyenas, we have at least one parent who has a gambling problem. Yeah, we all have something about our parents. We all have something that's a little off about all our parents on this show. Yeah, for you to have become a comedian,

there's got to be something off in your family. Sure. What me and Chris are saying. Pinky's dad's got no spine. He broke every bone in his back. Yeah, I mean. He's a jellyfish. Pinky will tell you he's from Queens one day. He's got no fucking spine. He broke every bone in his back. Yeah, I mean- He's a jellyfish. Dinky will tell you he's from Queens one day.

He'll tell you he's from Lebanon the next. We just not. Yeah, Giannis' father's gay and died and came back to life about four times. My dad's got a gambling issue. And Venetia's parents, we don't know anything about Venetia's parents. We just know she does- They don't really appreciate her friends. Yeah, we just know that they don't really know exactly her whole life what she's doing

because there's a lot of friends they wouldn't approve of. Unfortunately, the truth of the situation is Venetia is dating a black woman and it's tough for a father to swallow. It's tough for a father to swallow. It's tough for her brothers to even understand. Yeah, well, we call that in the Greek household

a double whammy. Yeah, let's just be honest. Her brothers were nice to us when we bought them pizza, but they don't really appreciate or approve the fact that this is her job. It's a job, yeah. Shout out to the Venetia's brothers. Shout out to the brothers. Yeah, the nice one. You owe us about $8 for fucking coming in on a family dinner.

Yeah, I mean, you fucking ate pizza for free. You're not on a company card. I'm kidding. You're a nice guy. You got the family. Jeremiah's the nicest guy. You invited them to your fucking show, but me and Chrissy know we're a couple of streets marked New Yorkers.

We know there's something fucked up in your family. So the question is, did someone in your family kill somebody and are their bones hidden in the basement? Yeah. No. There's a lot of like family issue. Main thing is alcohol. Alcohol is the main issue in my family.

That's at the top of the list. So that's why you don't drink? Yeah. Okay. Soda, same thing. Alcohol. Yeah, they don't drink. All right.

Yeah. Nate no good on alcohol. You ever been around Nate on alcohol? He's sober. He's sober now, yeah. He's sober now, yeah. Whenever there's somebody sober, there's a story. He used to love to party.

Oh, he used to love to party. Yeah, yeah. If audio recordings and people were secretly audio recording on their phones back when is somebody sober, there's a story. He used to love to party. Oh, he used to love to party. Yeah, yeah. If audio recordings and people were secretly audio recording on their phones back when Nate was drinking, he would not have a career. He would have a zero career. It's what it is. Now, Jeremiah,

on the show, we always do a fuck, marry, kill. So here, fuck, marry, kill. Adolf Hitler, Joseph Goebbels, and Frank. Go. Yeah. Yeah. What's the middle? Who's the middle one? I don't know. Joseph Goebbels, and Frank. Go. Yeah. Yeah. What's the middle? Who's the middle one? I don't know.

Joseph Goebbels. I need some history lessons. He's the propaganda minister for the Nazis. So he was one of Hitler's main guys. Usually a lot of people want to marry him. Or, so Hitler, Goebbels, or Anne Frank, fuck, marry, kill, go. Let's kill Anne Frank.

The leg extension was everything on that. Because that's his only workout of the day. That's his one crunch he does. Because I watched a person come out of my wife's vagina. I know. It's a pretty wild experience you can have. Do you recommend me looking, both of you? Yes.

Or do you recommend me looking away? Because some people are like, no, you should just have the sheet and let it happen. I looked. It was fine. I mean, I didn't, you know. You don't have the perspective where you see it. You're up by her. Yeah.

So you're. You just see the head coming out through the other side. But you weren't like looking like. No, no, no. Okay. No, no. You want to be by her. I was fucking fingering her while the baby was coming out.

I was fingering her asshole. I knew that we couldn't have sex for another like six weeks after the pregnancy. So I want to get one more in. So I was fucking her in the ass while the baby was coming out. Come on. Be honest, dude. Chris, there's probably a 25% to 50% chance that you texted at some point during that pregnancy. During that pregnancy.

I may have texted. Yeah, I may have been on Instagram live. We do an IG live. Yeah. No, it's honestly one of the most, Giannis just experienced it, one of the most beautiful moments of your life. But I would, yeah, I think in the moment, well, you'll see. We'll see if she's going to go natural.

She's going to go C-section. We don't know. Right. You'll know when it gets closer. Yeah. I mean, dude, what women go through. Yes. I mean, you hear about it, but like when you experience it and you watch what a woman does

to bring a person into. They are superior. I mean, it is what it is. My respect for women like it's like 10 times. It's just like you're in awe. It's crazy. The sacrifice they make. Yeah.

To bring people into the world and what they have to go through the pain. And yeah, he actually he told me said, there's respect for women now, now, because I actually see them as people now. He sees his people since his wife. Now, ever since his wife gave birth, he told me now,

if she puts a little extra garlic in the sauce, she doesn't get thrown down the stairs anymore. She just gets slapped around a little bit, but at least she won't get thrown down the stairs, which is nice. Yeah. I used to kick her down the stairs. Why?

Did you ever ride her like a sled down the stairs? No, I would just push her, you know, just watch her tumble down. Right, right, right. And then I would like a sled down the stairs? No, I would just push her, you know, just watch her tumble down. Right, right, right. And then I would say, you deserve that.

And she would. And then she would reply, thank you. Wei Zhongzhen. But now I just, I'll just smack her now. Wei Zhongzhen. This is,

this is, this is getting dark. After you see, well, that's the thing. After you see, after you see how beautiful a baby is, you know, how beautiful it came out. I'm joking, by the way. You're joking. And now it baby is, you know how beautiful it came out.

I'm joking, by the way. You're joking, and now it's like, you know, go to the voting booths and vote for the fucking people that want to kill your babies. Wei Zhongzhang. Those are called Democrats. Yeah, I mean, this is our third podcast. We're fucking on fumes.

Jeremiah's been sitting half naked. He came in with the character. We're just trying to pull things together I flew into New York City I've been sitting in that corner for three days You know what the fun thing about Jeremiah is though Jeremiah just goes I love doing his podcast

Because it's just like Whatever he goes we just go We didn't think that we were ever going to come back to regular people So there was no plan B He just now has to sit there without a shirt on and suspenders and be Jeremiah. And it's okay if they're a little late for Guys Be Fucked. They don't have as many listeners as us anymore because they went

behind the paywall. So if he's a little late, big whoop. No, they probably do. They have great listeners. Shout out Christina Hutchinson. Great guest on the show. Shout out Corinne Fisher. Obviously great. It hasn't been on the show, but fucking will be someday. Check them out. Check out their specials. I'm sure they got our specials. They got everything, dude. Christina and Corinne Fisher. Obviously great. It hasn't been on the show, but fucking will be someday. Yeah.

And check them out. Check out their specials. I'm sure they got our specials. They got everything, dude. Christina and Corinne fucking crushing it. Jeremiah's going to go there next. Jeremiah's on a fucking New York tour. He's on a fucking tour. So who are you doing, guys?

We fucked. And who else are you doing? Legion of Skanks tonight. Just did Real Ass Podcast this morning. Bonfire a little bit later tonight. Oh, you got a day. Yeah, I got a day. So who are you going to vote for?

Did you vote already? I already voted. You voted early? You mailed it in? I did a mail. Well, we got the mail in form, and then we dropped it off for mail. Right, right, right. Do you mind if we play a little game where me and Chris ask you questions,

and we try to guess who you voted for? Okay. Okay. Okay. You go first. You go first, Yanni, because guess who you voted for? Okay. Okay. You go first. You go first, Yanni, because you're better at the political questions. Okay.

A woman who's 26, you know, she gets pregnant from a guy after a Tinder date and whoopsie, she forgot her plan B and the guy's a fucking asshole to her the next day and like she needs to go to Ibiza that summer and she just doesn't want to miss her summer in Ibiza. Should she have that kid or should she party in Ibiza?

Good question. Good question. It's a little close to home because Vanity was just in Ibiza. I mean... So which way do you go beats. So which way do you go? I'm not asking you who you vote for. I know that's too personal. I'm not going to ask you who you vote for.

I'm just wanting to ask you that question. Maybe look at your options to Ibiza and see where that trip will take you. I still can't make a read on it. Do you have a question? I have a question. Look at your options to Ibiza and see where that trip will take you. Aha. There you go. I still can't make a read on it. You have a question? I have a question. So obviously there's a deadly pandemic ripping through the world.

COVID-19, it's originated in Wuhan. Most people leave at the wet markets. Would you refer to that disease as COVID-19 or the China cough? Or Kung flu. Or Kung flu or the Wuhan wheezer. What would you call it? I would call it, hmm, COVID-fru. COVID-fru. Yeah, so we're on because- We're getting closer. COVID through. COVID through.

Yes. So we're on because- We're getting closer. Because Jeremiah's a hard one to get because the kids from fucking Kansas, Missouri, they go either way. You don't know. He's a Midwestern kid. You don't know.

We may have to do a tiebreaker question. Let's do a tiebreaker question. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Kavanaugh. Justice of the Peace.

Kavanaugh. Okay. Will you remember where you were when Ruth Bader Ginsburg died? Yeah. Okay, so I think it's safe to say off Jeremiah's answer, she votes for Trump. Go get it special. I start the sentence, you finish it. Lock her up. Oh, dang it.

Yes! We got it. Dang it. All right, Jeremiah, where can people find you? Special? Please, tell everybody. What a great way to plug right after all of that. If you like that mess of a bit we just did,

you like me doing a stereotypical accent. That was all jokes. We have no idea how Jeremiah votes. We don't vote. I don't know. Who knows if I even voted? We don't even know. Exactly. Yeah. Well, you said, well, we know because you said you did. Oh, no, you got me. And We don't vote. I don't know. Who knows if I even voted? We don't even know. Exactly. Yeah.

Well, you said, well, we know because she said you did. Oh, no, you got me. And you won't lie. You fucking Kansas creep. It's true. The Kansas creep is back on his tree. I need a...

The Kansas creep returns. Jeremiah's stand up on social media where you can find comedy, some music, and my one hour special. You can preorder on my website, Jeremiah Watkins.com or December 8th. It comes out.

You can rent it on Amazon prime and all video on demand platforms. Hell yeah. Jeremiah wonders, which you guys have both been guests on and phenomenal on. Do you have a Patreon Jeremiah? I do not. Okay. Such a fun podcast.

Jeremiah wonders. Go check out our episode on there. Go get that fucking special oh I got I got you guys I brought you some sax hats and some

and the album let's see it let's go get and they can get this at your website yes and then I got you guys

some of those sax hats right there that's my mom brought her on stage beautiful beautiful and this is the but this is

this is the album that will be out on December 8th the special I meant to say oh great okay boom Jeremiah do you mind if I take us out

take out do you mind if I take us out Jeremiah you want to help me well just say just before just patreon.com slash bayridgeboys go follow us

historyainas.com christycomedy.com tickets on sale in all these different cities yannaspapascomedy.com he's got we got shows coming up. Yeah, and I'll just check us out. And I, I need you.

I need you in everything I do. I, I need you. I'm nothing without you. Egg it. You are gay. Since the moment we locked eyes. I knew that you liked guys. You fuck men.

You long for the Roman Brace The jizz across your face Fuck you bro And fuck God he put you here Holy shit you're queer And I don't know Why you put out this video And I, I hate you

And everything you do And I, I hate you Please kill yourself, my dude.