History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 185 - The Battle of the Little Bighorn was WILD!

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

This episode the HYENAS break down the Battle of the Little Bighorn.

All right, what's up everybody? Welcome to a new episode of the History Hyenas. Chrissy D, Yanni P. Today we're going to be talking about the Battle of Little Bitcoin. General George Custer. And when we're talking about the Battle of Little Bitcoin, we're not talking about the battle of little big horn general george uh custer when we're talking about the battle little big horn we're not talking about my piece and usually the the fanatics that it gets into yes we're not talking about that we're talking about a battle one of the only battles in history where the native americans slaughtered the whites so we're yes

here for it and um it's going to be fun it's going to be it's going to be a uh a very very cute there's a lot of things we learned. The good guys won in this one. The good guys did win. Native Americans did win. So this is going to shoot right up the algorithm. Right up the algorithm. The Cleveland Native Americans.

I just want to say, yes, Georgia. Stacey Abrams, you're my fucking queen. You fucking. You're my queen. I put up a meme from Game of Thrones that tell Donnie T it was me. And I put your face in the mother. Yes. We weren't supposed to be cursing in the first five minutes.

But what? Bleep it. Bleep it. Tell this Irish potato monkey to bleep it. If you don't know this, you're on note test. By the way, January 16th, we've added a show with Soul Joel in the Royersford heated dome. Go get tickets. Christy comedy.com.

History. Iena's.com. Souljoels.com. We've added a show Royersford, Pennsylvania go get tickets christycomedy.com historyianas.com souljoles.com we've added a show Royersford Pennsylvania Saturday January 16th my agents have finagled away

to get 10% commission and here's yeah they just finagled away I had a big call with them and they finagled away to get in there and they're also

on notice too I will walk away from UTA I don't care it's over 2021 2022 you guys are going away.

And hey, if you go to Chris's show, you will get a glimpse of James Madden. Please, for me, I will send postcards to whoever yells, hey, burnout. It's what it is. He's got foggy glasses. Now, cuz, Little Bighorn's a contradiction. It's a contradiction. You can't call something little big. Yeah, you can't do it.

Unless it's Debo. Yeah, it's what it is. He's little. He's't call something little big. Yeah, you can't do it. Unless it's Debo. Yeah, it's what it is. He's little and he's big. He's a little guy, but his gayness is big, according to you. He's big. Come out of the closet. He's gay, gay, gay. He lives in Florida now, pretty much.

He's going to get a job down there with JetBlue down there. Florida. Governor DeSantis is the savior. Yes. Babe, what do you know? Let me just ask you, what do you know about General George Custer? General George Custer was a guy who had golden, golden locks. Yeah.

Which I like blonde, so you know he had no fumes. And he was aware that he had golden, beautiful blonde hair. You can't tell by the black and white pictures because they didn't invent color yet. But the kid was a blondie. He was a blondie. I would love to see a colorized photo of Custer. If we could pull it up so Yanni can move his little monkey. Yeah, let's get some monkeys moving.

It's interesting. What I want to talk to you about, though, is quick, is a lot of people know about Lieutenant Colonel General, Lieutenant Colonel George Custer and what happened. And we're going to explain to you if you don't. But he also was accompanied by a sauce monkey named Major Reno. It was Major Marcus Reno, who's a sauce monkey Mexican-faced kid. Yeah, who is an ancestor of Janet Reno, who may or may not have been a guy. He may not. Yeah, Janet.

Will Ferrell. If you could tell me the difference between actual Janet Reno and Will Ferrell's Janet Reno, I'll give you a thousand bucks. Yeah, I mean, she was a big, big lady. So Marcus Reno, I mean, also a cute kid. Here's the thing about Custer we were talking about this back in the Civil War days and and all the days prior to that are we gonna say the good old days the good old days I'm just kidding all throughout history before like we talked about during

Shakespeare's era even in ancient Greece actors actresses there was no Hollywood there was no TV there was no Instagram there was no. So the way you got famous, the way you became popular was scribes or newspapers wrote about you. Right. So if you were like a lit ass general

to talk to the kids out there, if you were fucking litty, then you were fucking famous and you had your face in the paper, especially after the photograph. Right. So General Custer, previous to this defeat

we're going to talk about, was lit. He was lit. He had golden locks. He was fucking, the camera loved him. UTA signed him. He was fucking front page paper.

They loved his hair. They said he had a Jew manager and he said, because the camera loves you. The camera loves you. Make no mistake, my manager, the truffle pig, is now trying to sell me a house.

Things have changed. So it's what it is. I haven't responded to him until he texted me and said, what's going on? Are you okay? I just got a call from Michael Chase show.

You hung up on them and told them you have Corona. Here's the thing. Yanni blows it. Yeah. Here's the thing. No, I don't,

I never wanted to do it. And here's the thing. After you call me 10 times to ask me the same questions, I was dying with Corona. There's a fucking pandemic. I didn't want to do the show in the first place. Yeah, it's what it is. I will be doing it this week.

I'm just kidding. You got replaced by a guy named Jimmy Palumbo. Just so you know, who's also Marcus Reno, the fucking general. But listen, General George Custer, the episode, because a lot of people know about Custer, but what you guys may not know about General George Custer is that he went, first of all, the kid came out of school and wanted to be a teacher, right away wanted to be a grammar school teacher. And that's very similar to you know who, Chrissy D.

My original first major when I went to St. Joseph's College in downtown Brooklyn, the reason why I went there is because it was a fantastic teaching school. And then I very quickly switched to psychology. And then I very quickly switched to the open mics with Pudge Fernandez. Now, why did you switch to psychology? What was the future there? The future there, because I initially, here's how it went for me. I'm being dead honest. This is how it went. First reason I came out. Of the closet. Well, no, I still haven't come out yet. I'm holding on, but it's getting close. I went to St. Joseph's College over. Now, did you just, so you went from one Catholic institution to another. You just kept going.

So the choice. So your mom was happy till about 2010. That's where things started to get weird. Yes. Yeah, for her. In NYIT. Yeah, you were under the tutelage of of catholic fathers till then i put the two and then you went out into the world and you turned your back on the church

but it is saint joseph's college i had choices i got into two schools i was in saint joseph's college and then i also got into the merchant fit you i had gotten into saint joseph's college and then the Merchant Marine Academy. So I was going to go either to the Merchant Marine Academy and go actually off to war after I graduated. It's dead ass. Or St. Joseph's College to be a teacher, and I chose teacher. Here's the thing. You're a working class kid from a working class neighborhood who didn't become a cop or a firefighter or a plumber because you are a gay man. It's what it is.

The people from working class neighborhoods that become teachers are gay guys. It's what it is. If you look on the inside of my soul, I look like Yanni Shoots. By the way, is this Liddy that I haven't rolled up? Schultz, is this good? Can you fucking film me from up here

and let's talk about the world news? That's Liddy. So, okay. Dead ass, dead ass so dead ass dead ass dead ass low-key low-key yo low-key i was thinking that low-key am i fucking cool with my young dead ass and low-key yes so yanni's auctions at 99 i'm at 99 this morning i'm fucking i'm on the elliptical i'm getting sexy but i did have six slices of pizza yesterday. So I'm back. You're back. And make no mistake, my new name is CDC,

Calorie Deficit Chrissy. I'm going into calorie deficit and I'm not going over 2,500 calories. That is the new battle plan. Yeah, I love your new battle plans. Who is the new self-help guru you're listening to today? We're still on 48 Laws of Power. We're still on 48 Laws of Power,

but we are very quickly finishing that book and we are going into the, I forgot what the record was. I want to start a podcast with you called Searching for a Father Figure. Well, I think you're going to say you want to start a podcast

about books, but I would say you're too late to the game because I'm starting to get another podcast with Tanks and Outro called Chrissy and Tanks Book Club where we're going to go over our books and we're going to do it live on the stereo app,

and it's just what it is. I can't be stopped. So deal with it. So the reason why I switched to psychology, and then we'll get into the battle, the reason why I switched to psychology is because, I swear to God, I was- You wanted to know how to fight these bitches with your mind.

I was told by my sociology teacher, the great Reverend Coleman, that the best way at that time in 2003 when I switched majors, the best way to get onto the DSNY garbage man list was having a major in psychology. That is one of those things that I was told and I did it because there was a brief moment in time

where I know we joke around about it a lot, but I do remember, and Lukasz, the great Lukasz reminded me, I did want to be a garbage man from 2003 to 2004, and that was my goal, and that's when I was set. And then I switched around 2005. It said I want to do pediatric physical therapy. I want to get paid to throw a bouncy ball back and forth to a kid with special needs.

And then can I tell you what happened at around 2008, 2009? Yes. Just with a quick little scene I want to do. It'll be quick. Well, 2008, 2009, I was- Let me do it. okay yeah 2008 2009 chrissy comes down the stairs of the neutrals he's met there by the mcfarland brothers yes yeah they they t-bag them they throw them down the stairs they make them go get chinese regular tuesday yeah regular tuesday he's in high heels then they pull him up by his sweatshirt back up into the room lynn's not home she's at work

working six jobs because father's good for nothing. To support move to put steakums on the table for Chrissy. Some of these steakums aren't gonna pay for themselves. Then the McCauley brothers sit him down in his bed. It was a single bed against the wall with a spaghetti rug from the 70s with a VCR he used to watch porn in. And his footsie pajamas are on the floor

because he doesn't throw them in the hamper like his mom wants them to. They're on the floor. And they say, listen, kid, we know we fuck around with you a lot, Chrissy, but let's be honest, okay? A lot of us, we don't got the fucking talent you got, okay? Yeah, if I fucking see you here tomorrow, I'm going to fucking beat the shit out of you. And Chrissy goes, what do you mean? I'm going to fucking, I'm taking the DSNY test, okay?

I'm not gay. You know, you guys, you know i it's fun what we're doing i'm taking a dsny kiss our kids are gonna grow up together our kids are gonna go to fucking basketball together we're gonna be riding the bench and watch the black kids play together at christ the king yeah that's what we're gonna do our kids are gonna be on the bench together yeah while raheem and khalid fucking crush it and go fucking d1 our kids are going to saint joe's they're gonna get molested by the same priest and they're gonna play d3 ball at the same school we're gonna grow up together that's what we thought he said no offense but uh chrissy if i fucking see you in this neighborhood next week yeah i'll fucking

skull fuck you again right yeah yeah and then and then and then and then you put a fucking note on your mother's door and you said i'm going to see i'm going to see about a girl well and you were out of there well no the problem is that was the plan that's what they said but then i was in the neighbor next week because i wanted to get sculled again so it backfired it wasn't until they told me they wouldn't do that anymore did i move on and change mages that is the fucking sequel to goodwill hunting called chrissy ridgewoods yes chrissy ridgewoods if you don't think we're going to make a movie and just name it Ridgewood, you got another thing coming. And James Altucher, if you're watching this podcast, respond to my text or I'm coming

to Florida. I'm going to drag you out by your Ruth Bader Ginsburg fro and throw you into the intercoastal. Here's the thing. A clear Jewish war is happening between Jerry Seinfeld and James Altucher. Yeah. Jewish war is happening between Jerry Seinfeld and James L. Tucher you with your friendship with Colin Quinn have put yourself on the wrong side

of that Jew war yeah see we're stuck in the middle yeah I am still in James L. Tucher's good senses

because I gave Colin Quinn Corona right so so he's still on my side that's how it works yes

that's how it works and James L. Tucher if you're listening if you're still a friend if you're still a fan then just give me a signal. Okay? Give me a signal and write on the Patreon wall or send us a text and say, you're right.

Yanni has chosen right and I've chosen wrong. And then I will kill Colin Quinn. Yeah. And we know that none of this means anything to you because you're still giving us $500 a month. You're giving us $500 a month. So appreciate it. Go listen to James Altucher.

Go to his amazing standup club, Stand Up New York. It's definitely the premier club in New York City. It's a great club, and right now they're doing shows on the one train. And that's a true story. So if you're on the one train going to a Vanity's neighborhood, you might see a comedy show. Yes. Okay, so here we go. So let's get into this battle of Little Bighorn.

So the first thing, I just want to ask, General Custer, he came out of school. He went to some college. I think, where is he from? Where was he born, Custer, again? If we could just go up. I think he's from Ohio. Is he? Oh, he's from Rumley, Ohio.

Yeah. And so he graduates from some school in Ohio. Let's say Ohio State. Let's say he was a Buckeye, even though it's probably not true, but let's just make him a Buckeye. He went to school with Jimmy Jackson. He went to, Jimmy Jackson. Yeah, who fucked Jason Kidd's wife, and then they had a feud, and that's why the Dallas

Mavericks didn't work out it's what it is he actually graduated from mcneely normal school yeah and uh later hopedale normal college in ohio in 1856 he was a good midwestern boy he was a good midwestern boy with long flowing golden curls man curls and and he wanted to be a teacher and then he said you know what i don't want to be a teacher anymore i i'm obsessed with the u.s military i want to be in the military and he got into west point he got into he got into west point and then was last in his class last in his class because he was he was playing a lot of pranks he wasn't listening and he just wasn't really paying attention as my mother would say he wasn't applying himself because that's what my mother would always say christopher you're not applying yourself yes in archbishop malloy, I did not apply myself.

In St. Justice College, I did not apply myself. It wasn't until I went to New York Institute of Technology and I met my first Jewish person that I started to apply myself. Right, right. So he graduates last in his class, but he has an unbelievable string of good luck where he actually becomes a Civil War hero.

He's actually the guy that General E. Lee. Robert E. Lee, leader of the Confederate troops. Leader of the Confederate troops. Maybe the most proficient general of the time. Right. Who decided to fight with the Confederacy only because he's a Virginia boy. Right. You know, although.

He should be founding father. Yeah. But that's the thing. Although he's... I'm just kidding. Although modern history, like the kids now would judge Robert E. Lee as like how he fought with the Confederacy, he was kind of ambivalent in a lot of ways towards slavery.

You got to put yourself back in that time. But Robert E. Lee was definitely, by most accounts, the best tactful general. Tact, yeah. Tactful. Tactiful. Tactiful, yeah. He was the best tactful general tact yeah tactful tactful tactful yeah he was the best tactful general on the battlefield he just happened to be fighting for the bad guys do you remember here's a little pop quiz i'm all about pop quizzes today i'm christy pop quizzes because i have to give my daughter pop quizzes because of the school she's in we just do little pop quizzes so do you remember what what place in history were we at? What town were we in?

Where were we visiting when we found out that we were standing on a place where before he was famous in the Civil War, General Robert E. Lee, who had recently just graduated at top of his class from West Point, attacked this certain shed that somebody was holed up in. And we learned that he was the one who attacked it and kind of won the day, won that battle of the day and put this person into prison and then they hung them. But even though he's kind of like a folklore hero and I'll give you a hint,

Bleeding Kansas. We're worried. Take us there. We were in a civil war and the hill was called Blueberry Hill. Close. It's where I found my thrill. It was on Blueberry Hill. Close. It was Harper's Ferry. Oh my God and it was on blueberry close it was harper's

ferry and it was john brown we were there when he holed up into the into the armory yes and all the weapons you said hill and it was robert lee i i thought i said place in history you said hill i thought sorry or do i just got hillary clinton on my mind you got hillary clinton on your mind so so so cute kid look at that. I mean, handsome kid. Handsome kid. This is General Custer. Is General Custer not a handsome child? Yeah, I'm digging the mustache. Yeah, I mean, he's got good eyes. He looks like

Dan Soder. He does look like Dan Soder, who would have been a good guest, even though we're not having guests anymore because people have COVID. So we're not having guests anymore. So until it's over, until somebody gets a vaccine, I don't know what the rules are, but there's no guesties. We're not having guests anymore. Until it's over. Until somebody gets a vaccine. I don't know what the rules are, but there's no guesties. We're not having people in the studio

unless they could really bump our numbers. Sorry, Stob, you're in the middle. And this article that we're reading on HistoryNet, you'll be available in April. This article that we're reading on HistoryNet was published by what's soon to be the leading man in comedy's new name

and what he wants to be called. His name is Dwayne Schultz. So Dwayne Schultz, Andrew would love to be referred to as Dwayne, but he's not there yet. But make no mistake, his inner thing calls him Dwayne. Because Schultz only says son on Flagrant 2, and then when he goes on the West Coast, I mean, the kid's a surfer.

Because he's got trickery, just like Chrissy D's got trickery, just like General Custer's got trickery. He's got tricks up his sleeve. He's got trickery just like chrissy d's got tricky just like general custer's got trickery yeah he's got tricks up his sleeve he's got tricks up his sleeve general custer was actually the general to receive the white flag from robert e lee and he was at appomattox courthouse when general e lee officially surrendered to ulysses. He was in the big room during the big moments of history. He had a nice string of good luck during the Civil War, but the kid was never really considered a great, he was like, if he was a comic,

he was not considered to be like a comics comic. But he was a successful guy. Right. The press loved him. And then here comes his big moment. He's sent out there by the government to go take care of these indians yes and we get americans he's involved in the most famous native american battle because native americans won the good guys won youtube the good guys won algorithm

yes but here he is and his ruck his ruck run out and that's not racist that's yanni biden's johnny biden i wasn't trying to be racist it just came out ruck ran out it's ruck, his ruck run out. And that's not racist. That's Yanni Biden's. It's Yanni Biden's. I wasn't trying to be racist. It just came out, ruck ran out. It's ruckus part. Chinese guys can't say L. His ruck ran out. So in many ways, in many ways,

Custer is like Ulysses S. Grant, where Custer was finished last in his class, but actually turned out to be a very tactful Calvary leader, even though he had bad grades and people like blah blah blah no no no where ulysses s grant was an amazing general but turned out to be a bad president so no he was i think he was he was a great general he was a great general but he was a drunk he was a useless drunk then he became a great general and as president he was elected because of his fame yes you know which is what what you said in the beginning but yeah and

so but i don't think i don't think and Yeah. And so, but I don't think, and correct me if I'm wrong, I don't think General Custer was ever revered for his tactic. Was he? Yes. Well, that's why he was the youngest person in United States history up to the time to become Major General.

He was given- But is that just because of his gold locks? It was gold and cute locks. He won- I mean, those could have been his Yankee pinstripes where people weren't even looking at what he did in the field. they just were blinded by that beautiful hair gorgeous mane maybe he got in fucking he got in panache's chair well look he had to be a great

general yeah panache those golden clips by the way shout out to the history ianis fan who went to panache and was going wild and they went there specifically from uh hearing it on the podcast stefano said you were wild, whatever your name was, but you were nuts and you kept asking for the Golden Clippers and he was getting kind of annoyed. Guys, if you're a fan from Brooklyn, Long Island, Queens, make a reservation at Panache for Stefano, or what's his brother's name? Paulie.

Or Paulie, Stefano Paulie, they're good Greek-Italian kids. Go make a reservation, get your hair done, get in his chair, call him up, call Panache and say, I want to get in Stefano's chair, please. And if you can, just record it for us and then send it to us in Instagram stories. Say you want to get in his chair and then go and ask for the golden clippers. By the way, shout out Stefano. And when he says, are you come here from history of hyenas? Yeah.

Say, hey, I hear they're serious. They're serious. Hey, shout out Stephan L. Barb at 718 on Instagram. You just got the news you're having a baby boy. Your gender reveal was wild. You went to your upstate house and you blew up a bomb that turned the clouds blue. And it's on your Instagram and it's the most fucking just upstate thing to fucking do. You blew up a bomb for your baby's gender reveal and it's blue.

And I'm also having a baby and we won't fucking not let me know what sex it is. Congrats. So I'm just gonna well she already posted it. Congratulations. Chrissy's having another baby. That's what it is cuz when people tell me to run for the hills I say no I'm locking myself in. I'm locking myself in. Cuz you are the John

Brown of relationships. That's what it is. You fucking barreled yourself in. There's guns outside and you're fucking your Custer's last stand. That it is i'm custer's last and i'm john brown and john the only one to stop john brown was robert e lee the only one to stop chrissy d is sarah e lee robert e lee stopped john brown yeah robert e lee was the one who i told you we should stop john brown he got they hold him up just talked about yeah it's what it is yeah so that was before. That was before he was a Civil War general, before he was a hero. So he's not the one who gunned them down, though. Robert E. Lee.

No, John Brown. No, no, no. John Brown was like holed up in a shack, right? He was holed up in a shack. I got to watch the Ethan Hawke show, John Brown. Yeah, Ethan Hawke. He's playing John Brown on Showtime. Right now?

Yeah. Wow. It's a series. Series. Yeah. Okay, so what happened? I just want to know how many good guys how many good guys lived how many bad guys died so 200 white men were killed mutilated beheaded and

unfortunately then there was there was thousands of native americans custer fucked up you'll tell the story but i just want to say they did some things to custer's peace yeah so we'll get to that so what happened was is custer at this time in 1876, the Battle of Little Bitcoin is June 25th to 26th, 1876. It was a good year. 100 years since we became a nation in 1776. So what happened was, is Custer at this time was a big, big name in the US military. He was leading a cavalry.

He was a big time celebrity in America because of all his fame. He was the one, as Yana said, he actually accepted the white flag from Robert E. Lee. He was present there at the Appapotamics Courthouse, which was the- The Hippopotamus Courthouse. The Hippopotamus Courthouse, which is where the Confederacy officially surrendered to the Union. And so it's a big, big thing. And what's happening in America in this time is they're

out in the great plains and like you know montana and idaho and all those other fucking you know plain states the america had initially said because they want to you know expand the manifest destiny they originally said look we're going to let the native americans do what they want and they can be cute on their lands and they can have their little rain dances tried to put them on reservations probably put on reservations we'll let them jump and run around, you know, the Lakota and everybody. They can run around

with the Buffalo and we don't care, blah, blah, blah. But then, it was in... Montana. No, but why the problem came is I think it was

Sioux City and the Black Hills, South Dakota's Black Hills, gold was discovered. Gold was discovered in 1875. White men love gold. And then the US Army started to ignore

all the previous treaty agreements and invaded the region. And this is why, this is where Native Americans or people who live in America and don't like America, where they have somewhat of a claim to be like, well, America's bad too,

because this really was a fucked up thing that happened. I mean, the US had said, we're going to leave you alone. But then when they found gold and oil, they said, okay, well now it's ours and we we're gonna kill you if you don't give it to us so that's a little brutes and not kids yeah but you know what everyone blames the white man for his love of gold but is the white man the only white man who would have done that no i mean you

telling me i'm not saying white man i'm saying the united states yeah but white man loves gold throughout history wherever there's gold white man goes there. So do Puerto Ricans. That's what I'm about to say. You telling me a bunch of black kids wouldn't fucking attack Montana for gold to put in their teeth? 100% they would have. Yeah. I mean, you kidding me? Who loves jewelry more than black kids?

Only Italians. Italians and black kids. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's the common ground that Italians and blacks have. Right.

Right. That and Scarface. They both love that. They both love that. They both love being gangsters. They both love being gangsters. They both love being gangsters. Italians love the mafia, and fucking black kids love the mafia too. Yeah, yeah.

And jewelry. Like Paul Verzi's dad said, you know, these rappers really know their jewelry. I'll give them that. They really do. They really do. So. Stereotyping. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. So Crazy Horse Horse so the leaders for the US which is now a cheap liquor that you can get for $1.99 if you're an alky

but poor Crazy Horse that's what we do with their most famous war heroes is we turn them into fucking cheap liquor

yeah so we put them on Arizona iced tea so General General George Armstrong Custer and General General Janet Reno

the other guy General Reno the sauce monkey were the two ones in command General Major Marcus Reno General George Armstrong Custer and General Janet Reno, the other guy, General Reno the Sauce Monkey, were the two ones in command, General Major Marcus Reno, were the two ones in command for the U.S. And you could tell Reno, you could tell he lives with his mind.

He's eating pasta. Yeah, he's got a fat, fat face. He's a fat kid, and you could tell how chiseled General Custer is. So those are the, so keep it here, V, those are the commanders for the U.S., and then the commanders for the Native American tribes, which, by the way,

a lot of these tribes that came together were kind of adversaries they weren't they didn't really love each other they just came together to get the U.S. out of their fucking territory but again as we'll explain later in the show that backfires for them too they get it temporarily when they won the victory but they lost they won the battle but they lost the war so the tribes for the Indians were led by the several famous chiefs including Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Chief Gall, Two Moon, and then the one that Venetia added, Lame White Man. Well, can we just... Those are really the names. Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Chief Gall, Two Moon, and Lame White Man.

Yeah, is that real or is that a mistake? That's real. When I read that, I was like, V added that. Let's just call it what it is. Yes. read that i was like we added that let's just call it what it is yes native americans win the war on names yes okay name like armstrong or steven or chris sucks or or mike doesn't pales in comparison to being born and your name is crazy horse yeah your name's crazy horse or two moon and even even even where they call the little bitcoin is the name that the americans use but the same battle site that the native americans call it's

called battle of the greasy grass yeah so it's just a better name the greasy grass a little grease monkeys yes i uh you know those sound like rapper names though great yo crazy horse and two moon are about to have a crazy ass cypher do you hear mick you have you heard two moons mixtape yo shit is fire and lit what's the name of that album greasy grass and v uh venetia can i ask you a question you're working on which podcast oh those guys are your trump supporters right right here's the thing here's here i'm just recreating a Saturday with V in Central Park. So, history hyenas. Is that what those Nazi kids write? Those Nazis write.

Write? And they say write like rhetorical? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, let's just be honest with it. And then we can move on. Let's just be honest quick and then move on. If you're woke, you're poor.

Let's just be simple. Let's just tell the truth. We can pretend be honest quick, then move on. If you're woke, you're poor. Let's just be simple. Let's just tell the truth. We can play pretend. Let's not play pretend. If you're woke and cream woke, it's because you don't have any real money. I mean, let's just, can we just, at least if the woke people will just admit that you're doing it because you don't have money. Right. You got roommates and you fucking, you want all these handouts because you don't have any money.

You can't make money on your own. You can't do it. Let me just be woke now. Yeah. I mean, am I wrong at all? No, no, no. Let's pretend. No, no, no. You're totally talented. That's why you have to constantly talk about how you have no opportunities and you're oppressed because you're showing the world what your talent is and your talent is so great. It has nothing to do with the fact that you've made yourself a victim because you have no talent. And so you're trying to guilt everyone into paying attention to you yeah let's just pray

pretend say that and by the way i say that with all the love coming from allah exactly that's where we get our strength and our power and our humility we are humble under a lot just like by the way let me just be we're gonna get back to customer in a second but let me just let me just deviate let me sexually deviate for a second. I've been watching Homeland. Yes. That is one of the best shows I've ever seen in my life. We're right now starting the fourth season, but Claire Dane's Work It Girl, Damian Lewis, unbelievable show, Homeland.

It's one of the most nail-biting shows I've ever been a part of in my life. Wow, wow, wow. You also said that about Outlier, and you've also said that about the other show, the British show with the spies, which- Outlander, I liked. Yeah, and then the British show- Turn. Turn, which I fell asleep the second episode.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. You also told me Eckhart Tolle is the greatest self-help guru of all time, and then that changed to Tank Sinatra. I'd like to, yeah, I was gonna say, I'd like to make an addendum to that.

Tank Sinatra. Oh, and also- 48 Laws of Power. 48 Laws of Power. 48 Laws of Power. I forgot the author's name, but he will be on the new podcast. It'll be Tanks and Outra. Sunday, January 17th, Saul Joel's Heated Comedy Dome, Royersford, Pennsylvania.

We've added a show. 6 p.m. start. Everyone has off the next day because it's Martin Luther King holiday, and it's just going to be a good time. We're going to have fun. So go get the tickets. It's Martin Luther King holiday, and it's just going to be a good time. We're going to have fun. So go get the tickets.

ChristyComedy.com or SoulJoles. That's Joles with an S. Dot com. Sunday night show, 6 p.m. January 17th. Yes. Okay, so here we go. Let's get to the battle. So here's what it is.

So nobody knows right now because don't forget. I mean, there's no drones. There's no cell phones. I mean, we're talking about 1875 here here right it's 1875 or 76 sorry 1876 we're talking about 1876 here and they really can only do scouts and they can have little spies here and there but there's really not much they can do about knowing exactly how many men the native american tribes have so nobody knew that all these different tribes who really are enemies for the most part came together to form one huge fighting force to just what they thought

repel the U.S. forever. And they had over 2,000 men, horses, weapons. They had repeating rifles, bows and arrows. They actually had superior weapons to the U.S. at that time because the U.S., I didn't realize this. I thought the U.S. had the best weapons. But the Native Americans had very good weapons, too. So where did they get those repeating rifles from? They got them from, you know, arms dealers who were in it for. Right. And they got them from the French.

Back in the day, you know, the French were against the British. They would align themselves. Certain tribes were aligned with different countries. Some were aligned with Britain. Some were aligned with France. And even down south, some were aligned with Spain.. Some were aligned with Britain, some were aligned with France, and even down south, some were aligned with Spain. So they hooked up the Indians with weaponry. So those kids had gats.

They were strapped. And you know what? Just so you know, yeah, there were a bunch of different tribes, like you said, that otherwise would have been killing each other because they're part of the human race. I mean, there's this thing

we like to celebrate the Native American as this peaceful being until the Europeans showed up. That's just not the case. Not the case. That's why all these tribes had warriors because they fought. And guess what?

While the warriors didn't fight, they came out to play. Yes. So here's what happens. Custer enters the village of Lakota and Cheyenne which is now the capital of Wyoming Cheyenne Lakota and Cheyenne near the river at the bottom of the valley he initially wanted to wait and scout the village so Custer's first idea was let's wait and scout it out let's just see let's do what I've been taught to do big mistake huge Julia Roberts

which by the way the name Vivian if I if my new child is a girl, Vivian is my number one pick and Jasmine's number thousand pick. She does not want to name that kid Vivian. I said, well, if we're not naming her Vivian, then we're going to name her Maria like every other Puerto Rican kid that's born. How about Camille? Camille's a good Puerto Rican. I like Vivian and I like Violet.

I like Violet DiStefano. Violet. Because I want the name- Vivian and I like Violet. I like Violet DiStefano. Violet. Because I want the names. Vivian's kind of an old person's name. But I like, but Tristan and Delilah are like ancient, kind of like names that you don't really hear that much but are not sound made up. So I'm trying to look for names in that category. But right now I can't find them yet. But listen.

How about Star, how about you go. Or Stella. Go West Coast Celebrity. Why don't you go west coast celebrity and name her restaurant yeah just name yeah yeah or something like that i don't know i may name her venetia yeah venetia is a venetia is a nice name it really is a nice name venetia is even better venetia is even better what kisha wisconsin is the best why don't you name her a black name i i i'm genuine if i have a son i genuine. I'm dead ass about naming him Jose. Yeah.

I like Marquez. I like Marquez. What's a good black name? Marquis? DeBrickshaw? Marcus is a good black name. Marcus. DeBrickshaw's a good one.

That's a good one. LeDamian is number one. Tyrone, by the way. Tyrone is actually an Irish name, but it is now typically with black men, but it is an Irish name. There's a county in Ireland called Tyrone. Can we do a BuzzFeed list of the best black names? That would be fun.

If we did a history hyenas BuzzFeed type list where we ranked, I think LeDamelian is the number one spot. LeDamelian is a very good one. Can you beat LeDamelian? No, it's very, very, very good. How about some kids who were on your teams in high school? In high school, what? Anyone good?

Malik, Jamal, Stefan. Stefan. Timothy, but it was pronounced Tamathi. Dude, is there anything funnier than the Key and Peele sketch? A-A-Rod. A-A-Rod. A-A-Rod. Yeah.

Did you mean Aaron? Yeah. Stop playing with me. Oshag Hennessy. Oshag Hennessod. Yeah. Did you mean Aaron? Yeah. Stop playing with me. Oshag Hennessy. Oshag Hennessy. Prince of Oshanessy? That's the best, that's the,

in my opinion, the best sketch of all time. Better than, I think it's the best sketch. Better even than Chappelle and obviously Chappelle is a legend but Key and Peele specifically for sketch,

I don't know who's close to that. Nobody. Nobody's close to those two leggies. Yeah, so what can you do? And it was all made powerful by the, all made possible by the All made possible

By the Great Network Comedy Central The Great Network Comedy Central Rest in peace It's what it is What can you do What can you do

I mean yeah I got paid for a special I never did But what can you do Buy the house On Long Island Which is your mother's dream Congratulations on that as well

When you do that I think her blood pressure Went back down a little bit It went back down Yeah You're kind even steven with the lord it went back down a little bit but then with the uh pregnancy news it went right back up yeah so what can you do okay so here we go let's go into the battle so he could have waited and scouted in the battle of little bitcoin general but he said you know what once the people of the village discovered his army's presence, he said, I have to attack. I have no choice. I'm going to have to just run into battle.

A lot of people were like, you know, hindsight's 20-20, like, why would you do that? But he had no idea. He thought he would maybe be, he had 600 men, which he divided into three different camps, one to go, one to watch the supplies, one to go from the north, one to go from the south. So he said, there's no way they're going to have more than us. And what he didn't realize is they had 2,000 men. So the one that went to the south was General Marcus Reno, aka Janet Reno. They went up through the south and they realized, shit, we're way outnumbered, way outgunned. They start to retreat.

They tell the ones from the supply tank, hey, retreat, get into the hills. You guys are going to be safe. There was no way at that time in 1876 to get knowledge and the information to general custody say hey bro you're gonna you're going with 210 guys right now into 2000 easy crazy savage native americans yeah he really messed up he divided his forces um he was known for a guy who always led troops in the battle i don't buy that right that's what the historians say that before this he was a guy who was always in the battle i don't buy that right that's what the historians say that before this he was a guy who was always in the front was he really was alexander the great really in the front was he though because you've mentioned that before and i agree with you on alexander the great and these people but custer i do believe just because it's it's closer in history that

i really think he did go into battle a lot in the front because he had a quote where he said that he just wants to what like his type of life he would want is he could battle every single day but you don't believe him yeah because he married this broad who was like a real like high class broad and her family didn't approve of him you know a little something about that that's what it is so but then finally they want to he won them over because his family her family his wife who cares what her name is? She's a woman. Her name is Elizabeth Libby Bacon Custer. So she's got two last names that sound like foods. Yeah, I mean,

and you can't get more of an American name than Elizabeth. That's a Civil War name, Elizabeth. And so he would write, he was always with his battalion or whatever and he would write to her. They had a big correspondent.

She ended up writing a book about him. People really cared about him until fucking people started to decide. know what i mean he wasn't the fucking hero he did because he killed he killed natives he killed natives so custer always used to have perfume in his hair by the way so let's go back to the battle v so what happens is is is now it's on custer said he went ahead without the scout he said i got stupid move stupid move in hindsight very stupid move. But we had no idea.

He had no idea what he was about to walk into. And even what's about to happen, what we're about to tell you is about to happen is all speculation too, because none of zero of Custer's men survived to tell the story. So it's all just trying to put the pieces together after they went into the battlefield and saw the dead bodies and tried to talk to a few Native Americans they thought may have seen it. But the truth is, this is all speculation we're about to tell you, but the story goes, at some point, Custer engaged the Native Americans coming from the north, which he was leading the charge with his 210 cavalrymen, into 2,000 Native Americans who also had cavalry,

who had bows and arrows and repeating rifles. He was overwhelmed almost immediately on a hill that's called, a small hill with about 50 of his men that's called Custer's Last Stand. He was surrounded by thousands of warriors and he had little hope to survive. So he had no choice from what the stories say to charge them because he knew he was going to die anyway and they all got killed. That sounds like a very American thing that happened because the truth of the situation is when they found

Custer's body, one of the Native Americans had put a rod up his dick and skinned him and ripped all his clothes off and he was laying there naked. So the truth is, he probably did

what I would have done is just ran for the fucking hills as quickly as I could and got away and I got my dick chopped off because I was sending DMs to girls. Yeah.

So yeah, they were surrounded on this hill. It was their last stand there was 200 of them they got massacred they were just shooting bow and arrows up and then they mutilated all the bodies because the native americans had beliefs that if you mutilated the body they would be uh they would be um relegated in the afterworld to walk the earth forever. Right. And they also, in General Custer's ears,

they fucking put knives in his ears. So he would listen. So he should have been listening more. He should have been listening because he wasn't listening because that's what the Native Americans felt at that time. And this is very well known

is they were like, why are you guys doing this? You're killing our buffalo. You're shooting them off the sides of trains. We like love these animals. You're taking our land what did we do and the truth is it's manifest destiny they just Jesus wanted it Jesus wanted it that's the truth at the end of the day Jesus wanted it and Jesus is the top guy in heaven

it's number one and your buffalo god's just number two or three number two or three and then I put Allah four and then maybe Buddha five so if I was do a BuzzFeed list of the gods, I mean, Thor is seven or eight. And then you got to put Zorro Astrod down there. And then of course, you got to put the saints underneath that. St. Anthony's 12, 13.

And Virgin Mary may be number one though. St. Christopher, patron saint of traffic. Yeah, yeah. So here's the battle. The battle lasted two hours. The Indians, Native Americans

cut off 210 soldiers who had followed Custer toward the northern reaches of their village and killed them all. Not one cavalry trooper lived to tell the story of Custer's last stand. Two days later, the scouting party from General Terry's column. General fucking Sean Terry's column. I fucking showed up, and let me tell you, I saw fucking damage. I'm telling you, there was fucking bodies everywhere, and I was quoted as saying, fuck, they look white. Yeah.

Fucking white. And look fucking white. And let me tell you something, at that fucking day, I called the fucking president. I said, get me some fucking guys. I need fucking guys. Bring them out here. We got a fucking job to do, and that job is we're going to fucking slaughter some Indians.

Yeah. So that's what was happening. That's a historical fact from General Sean Terry. They found Custard's nude, unscalped body. I said he was scalped, so he was unscalped. Oh, no, but unscalped meaning they took the top of his head off. So they cut his fucking hair? They scalped the top of his head with his golden hair?

Are you fucking kidding? Unscalped body lying amid a ring of dead cavalry horses. You didn't have to do that. You already mutilated his penis fucking his hair that's what fucking set the government off yeah because

they're like they cut his fucking hair are you kidding me that's like fucking what the bird did to Fabio's nose that's what the president

said at the time I forget who the president was I'm gonna take a guess 1875 was president Grover Cleveland I'm gonna take a guess who's Grover Cleveland

it's probably wrong even though Grover Cleveland is a high school my mother went to. So 1875 U.S. President, who is it? Oh, it's Grant. It was Grant. It says Grant. I'm a stupid fucking asshole. Was Grover Cleveland where your dad met your mom outside?

No. Yeah. No, they met. No, because he's from the Bronx. My father went to Seward Park High School, the same high school the great Sergio Chacon went to. Did he? How wild is that? Did your dad go over to your mom like, ooh, ah, ooh?

Because it was that era, right? If I was born in that era, I would just go up to girls and go, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah. You would have found a doo-wops band, me and you? Yes, I do. Binky seems like the guy that he secretly has a real nice falsetto. Yeah. Can you sing?

He can sing. Do you have any has a real nice falsetto. Yeah. Can you sing? He can sing. Do you have any hidden talents? This. Yeah. No. This is the talent. How about you? Can you blow?

Sometimes. Let's hear it. Oh, no, not me. Come on. Just do it. Just pretend like Mike Rowe's here, and we want you on camera. Love that episode. Okay.

So, Custer, when they got to Custer, they found out that he had two bullet wounds, one in the left breast near his heart and one in the front of his left temple, either of which could have killed him. So we don't know, but the Sioux and the Cheyenne captured 80 to 90 live horses from Custer's annihilated battalion.

They left one officer's badly wounded horse named Comanche, which managed to survive. And for many years afterward, Comanche appeared in the 17th Cavalry Parades, saddled but riderless. So interesting. So one horse did survive to tell the story. To tell, yeah. They left him to be able to tell the story. And that horse wrote a book.

Yeah. And it became a movie called War Horse with Tom Cruise. It's what it is. It became the hit show Mr. Ed. Which made me cry that movie. I remember watching that movie and then I went and hugged my dog. Yeah.

By the way, real quick, just in the middle of the podcast, I want to let everyone know. I'm a sensitive agate. I'm a zagate-rated restaurant. Go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys right now because guess what? We're doing now longer webbots.

We're going to do an hour-long webbot every week. You can watch. Nobody else does their Patreon content live. We're doing now longer web us we're going to do an hour long web by every week you can watch nobody else does their patreon content live we're doing our patreon content live at 11 a.m eastern time every wednesday if you can't watch it live that's fine it's going to be up there for the week but if you do watch it live guess what we're going to play ff roulette with you guys and one person watching live is going to get on the show for up to a minute and can say and do whatever they want yes yes what we're doing is we're going to change the patron a little bit. We want you guys to go there because we're okay. It's not about the money at all.

We're not looking to increase the money. No. We want to have fun. We do this for the fun. So what we're going to do is we're doing the weapon's going to be a little longer. Yeah. It's going to be a little longer. Can I have a gold chocolate coin?

I mean, these aren't racist at all. These are chocolate coins here with the menorah on them. There you go. So if you just want to give us some of your chocolate buddies. Just give us some of the money. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. January 16th. Soul Joles Comedy Club.

Roy's from Pennsylvania. Check it out. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. What we're doing. We may also start another show called On Notice because you didn't know this. On Notice because you didn't know this. We may.

Well, that'll be all part of the Patreon. Everything. You got to understand, 2021 is the year of the Patreon. So patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys is where you're going to get your money's worth here. This is for fun

and we do this and we love having you guys here. And please tell your friends and share this so we can gain more fans and just have fun because we aren't trying to teach you guys history we're learning along with you so it's very cohesive symbiotic relationship but patreon.com slash bay rich boys is where we really get illegal yes look if you want to support us that you guys are our producers like you know

we don't get paid by hollywood and we're that's why we're allowed to be funny. You can't be funny in Hollywood anymore. The most you can be is fun. Yeah, fun. You can't be funny because in order to be funny, you got to say the wrong thing a lot of the time. And also that we're talking about the Civil War, do you want to talk about that widow?

That was a cool story. Oh, yes. And here's a little thing that you'll, here's what it is. On patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, we talked about this. It literally last week the the last remaining believed to be the last remaining widow of a civil war veteran just died last week

she was 101 years old and her name is helen viola jackson and she literally married a civil war uh veteran when he was 93 and she was 17 so it's whoopsie daisy it's not she was a gold digging whore it's what it is but those stories and stories like that patreon.com slash bay ridge boys go there have some fun let's finish up this custer episode because it gets really good still so no no it's okay get back to it it's what it is so everybody was killed in the battle of little bitcoin and so you say what a nightmare how horrible it is you know it's horrible horrible what happened to the u.s army that everyone was killed so that's it but then happy that the native americans were able to get a great big victory and repel the u.s

troops but whoopsie daisy what do you know sometimes you push a little bit too far and you went over correct everything has consequences everything has consequences nothing is free the papers the the papers in the united states started to write about general custardine their folklore went over correct. Everything has consequences. Everything has consequences. Nothing is free. The papers, the papers in the United States started to write about General Custer dying, their folklore, their superhero. They killed everyone.

They mutilated his peepee. They cut off his beautiful golden blonde hair. So then the president said, Ulysses S. Grant took a shot of whiskey and said, send in the boys.

And then the U.S. Army arrived with a lot of men. A lot of guys. A lot of guys with a lot of guns and a lot of weapons and unfortunately for the u.s for the native americans they got the shit beat out of them and now they are all drug addicts and alcoholics on a ranch in wyoming and that's just the way the american cookie crumbles yeah that's history sorry clip it i mean it's pretty much it's what i'm actually

not wrong with what i'm saying i'm obviously leaving a lot of parts out but that's pretty much this in effect ended any time after the general custer last stand this is when the indians never won another battle again they were getting crushed and crucified and on to forced into these reservations where they still are to this day. I'm not saying if they didn't kill. Because what are you going to do? In battle, it's like, what am I going to do? You want to crush your enemy.

You don't want to give them any hope of ever getting. Because if you just wound your enemy, they're going to get pissed off and then come back and kill you. And I guess they thought they crushed them, but really they just wounded them. them but really they just wounded them all throughout history before the industrial revolution man and woman fought with each other over resources it's what it is the people with the more evolved militaries usually won this is how it worked back then yes there was no wokeness wokeness is greatly dependent on slave labor in China. Yeah. So they make all your stuff so you guys can just go on your phone and complain about things that aren't happening. But make no mistake, that phone only cost you a couple hundred dollars that your dad paid for because you don't have any skills or a job. Because of slave labor in countries that don't have labor laws.

So you think you're woke, but you're part of the problem. You're not woke, you're broke. Yeah. And let let me tell you let me just give you a little truthy woofy there's probably some you know i'm sure white girl right now out there theresa whatever she's doing what she can for the native americans cause she's out there she's let's just let's be let's be crystal clear i do like blaming white girls but that's become sort of the safe way okay there's some fucking annoying POCs as well Yeah there's some annoying POCs And I said it

Yeah Let's just say All of you are fucking annoying Anybody who's woke right now And just yelling about Like right now General Custer Or the way the Native American people are treated

If I put you Here's Let me just be crystal clear If I put you in a time machine right now Let's say we're fucking Back to the Future Or Bill and Ted's Exit Adventure Whatever one you whatever time is you want to go and i'll put you either in the phone booth we're going to flying delorean but i can put you back in time and you

yelling about your tweets i want you to go up to a native american and show them your tweets about how good you're doing and how you want to take down all the statues because the people offended you and see how quick they don't cut out your beating heart in front of you and fucking eat it with a little sriracha, which you love. So that is the truth of the situation is if you went back in time, the Native Americans you're fighting for would want to fucking kill you and cut your organs out and feed them to their dogs. So just like anybody else, people in general, in large groups, it's bad news. And they will kill you if you do not conform to what they believe in. So unless you want to fucking, you know,

drop your Prada jackets and your fucking Tom shoes and all your new Adidas sweatsuits and live inside the hide of a buffalo, you better shut the fuck up about what you think the Native Americans want you to say, you dumb white bitch. Yeah, I mean, you know, the tribes were all different. Some were a little more peaceful,

but most of them were not. And even the peaceful ones had warriors. Some were a little more peaceful, but most of them were not. And even the peaceful ones had warriors. The tribes fought with each other, just like European tribes fought with each other, just like African tribes fought with each other, just like Asian tribes fought for each other. And one tribe would get power, and the other one wouldn't get power. The thing is, Indians were slow-moving.

They were slow-moving. That's why not one tribe really took over the whole country. Yeah. Or South. Because there was Indians also in Central America and South. But the problem is they didn't have horses yet. They didn't have horses. So those kids just ran. The Spanish. They just walked.

Hilaria Baldwin's relatives brought them the horses. She did, yes. The Spaniards. The Spaniards brought them the horses. Before that, the kids just fucking walked. It's what it is. The kids went for a stroll into battle. Yeah, because even when you watch movies like Pocahontas and they make white people bad, Native Americans good.

That's somewhat true. But there's also a lot of bad things that both groups did. Yes, the Manifest Destiny was very bad that the US was doing, but also is sticking rods up soldiers' dicks that you just killed. So both are not great. But if you watch the Walt Disney movie Tonka, it's all good. It's all good. Yeah, and if you think for one second that a couple of Spanish guys

could take over a whole continent with millions and millions of Indians without the help of a dirty disease called smallpox, you got another thing coming, and the smallpox blanket thing is an absolute myth. There's only one document of it, and it's a reference to it, and it's not credible from one captain but that's all anyone says we gave him smallpox blankets because at some point the russians took over our education system by paying some of these tenured professors who were in the

liberal arts department off and gave them free trips to russia and a little extra money and a fucking account in the cayman islands and said just fucking teach some discord because the smallpox blanket isn't even true it's not true you commie fucking bastards it's not fucking true diseases did their things go read gun germs and steel erase that part erase that part binky yeah it's what it's a joke but you gotta erase that part so this this is what it is and look the native americans always in the battle i mean you know listen and it's just the hypocrisy of history we that's hypocrisy history is just what it is i mean they'll rip down abraham lincoln statue but you can have a mongolian chicken place called jengis khan's mongolian chicken when he killed and raped and pillaged more people than anyone could but because he's

fucking asian it's the past so it's just what it is as always this episode brought to you by tim dillon's Belly Hair. Yes. In support of the Gary Sinise Foundation. Just go Google Lieutenant Dan from Forrest Gump and donate to that donation. www.garysinisefoundation.org Tim Dillon's Belly Hair, who keeps winning the auction tier.

So if you want to knock Tim Dillon out, you got to come with some real paper because Tim Dillon's winning again. And I believe he won the auction for the month of January too because we don't know how to refund his money. So you're just going to have to do it for one more month. Sorry. And go to patreon.com

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We're beefing it up. So thank you guys so much. And in closing, General Custer and the battle of Little Bighorn, you know, he lost the battle,

but then eventually the Americans won the war and I think, you know, there's no more—racism is solved now, so yay. Yeah. And here's the—yeah, it was bad. If you want to morally judge it from now, let's just be honest. It was bad. They wanted gold.

They went back on a treaty. The Indians had every right to fight back. They joined forces because they had a common enemy. But the truth was, at this time, technology was on the side of, and numbers were on the side of the U.S. government. And unfortunately, that's who wins the day. Not the morally right person, but the more powerful person. And it's ironic that, you know, when you learn, you know, when I was a kid, people used to say if you give something to someone and then take it back, you're an Indian giver. And that was a very common term when I was a kid.

But in reality, it's what the US American government did. They went back on their treaty and they Indian give the Indians. And also just another uncomfortable fact, since we told you the other way, actually the people who've started scalping people were the Hessians. And then the Indians started doing it in retaliation.

To the Hessians. So we got a lot of propaganda. So there are a few things where you know what hey you need to know what the truth is and we were made to look like the good guys when we're really the bad guys um you know what also 9-11 was an inside job it was and by the way real quick Buffalo Bill you know like the story of like Buffalo Bill yeah all that like all that that guy actually fought with General Custer so the real Buffalo Bill actually fought was a soldier for General Custer and actually brought the show, the original show, the Wild Wild West show, which was like a big stage show in the late 1800s, was a reenactment of the Battle of Little Bighorn with some of the actual Native Americans who fought in the war.

So what you've heard of Buffalo Bill is a direct connection to General Custer. So take that for some party info. Bill is a direct connection to General Custer. So take that for some party info. Yeah. I mean, that's amazing that they did like a live reenactment of the battle with some of the Native Americans who were there. And then Buffalo Bill at the end would talk back and do a little dance to Wild Horses. Yeah.

Which is a good song that got really ruined by that movie because you can't hear that song without thinking about. Parchos. Yes. Hard for me. All right. As always, we're going to read the names of the patreon the newest members of the matriarchy patreon.com slash bay ridge boys we love it when you guys give us a good fun fierce name and um hold on here they are did you guys know that native americans were chinese kids that worked walked over the frozen barren strait? Yes. Chinese kids love to stroll.

Where are we starting, honey? Okay, here we go. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. New members of the main turkey. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The winner will get the PPW, the pseudo penis of the week. We encourage funny names,

but if you don't want to make a funny name, then you can just put your regular name and we'll say you're straight to the back. You're just here for the content. Here we go.

First off, little Tommy, nothing says I love you like a brick through the window, no shoes. Drexler. Drexler. I mean, I thought it started Says I Love You Like a Brick Through the Window, No Shoes. Drexler. Drexler. I mean, I thought it started off like it on the list, but then it just, you know, the

beginning was funnier than the end. Then we got the next one up. This is my cry for help. Drexler. Drexler. Then we got Nicky, Father Ron Got Hansy, So I Slashed His Face Open. Oh, sorry. Father Ron Got Hansy, So I Slashed His Face Open.

It's just what it is to ginzo it's a dark one uh we're starting off with three directors that's never happened here's an interesting one fumariya carry on the list on the list if you're gonna come with a fumar pond it's gotta be that good that is one of the best puns ever yeah then we got john toomey then we got derrick franks and rice and beans on the list on the list nobody's done that one that was there for the taking chicken finger that was there for the taking then we got mary had a muzzy cuzzy he doesn't have a bomb under there does he on the list on the list then we got re-sim then we got lance armstrong's cancerous testicle

ah it's on the list okay then we got uh chase sanders then we got alex's cancerous testicle. It's on the list. Okay. Then we got Chase Sanders. Then we got Alex Murphy's blown off weight. Right hand is my masturbation lube. Dead or alive, I'm coming for you in a different way. Okay. Yeah, I mean, long ones are usually not good. That one was almost a Drexler.

I'll give it a shot out. Okay. Then we got Matt McClandy. Matt, Matt, man can lie. McCann lies. Then we got Marcus Carlson, Tiffany Hurt. Then we got Rashid, make no mistake, I'm a half and half, not a muzzy. So Chris, you can come sit on my lap, Mitchell. Okay, he's a black kid.

Then we got Brandon, Freddy Chavez, David Bermudez. Then we got Nikki, spit on my face, spray me with sauce. Hold on, spit on my face, spray me with mace, because that show is get down. It's what it is. I know that you're trying to do long names, but when you put them all together like that, it's so hard to get a clean readout.

So that's how I get down. Okay. Yeah. Then we got Evan, true descendant of potato monkeys, Irish. Okay. Then we got Sphinx cat.

Well, Sphinx cats, a callback. Nice.thew bauer alex lahate james al goober it's a goodie it's it's a drex it's a drex then we got uh junkie glass grilled dick cheese grilled dick cheese a nice chicken figure for drexler then we got ramsey allen obi-wan kaknobi and luke by walker i mean those are wow these are callbacks yeah i think obi-wan kaknobi and but we never had luke by walker luke by walker's good so he's calling you luke by walker yeah i gotta put that on the list on the list yeah because i mean i gotta put that on the

list then we got cody then we got chrissy's rotten foot fed a father bill gave me a three letter okay it's funny but yeah it's a shout out then we got joe david dambach then we got yanni p gets dizzy easy peasy every time he sees a japanesey it's just funny to drexler to drexler for the funny then we got ryan kennedy kareem fray athena goddess of war, wisdom, and fumes. Drexler. Mike West. Then we got Ryan Ashkenazi Iskowitz, big fumes.

Drexler, yeah. Then we got Clean D22, Rudy Downey, Tyler, Rich Piazza, Thomas Magrillo, AJ can't get hard unless you suck my dick, baby. Yeah, that's what it is. Saucita. We've had that in the past, but thanks for reminding. This is a real throwback. Throwback one. Yeah.

Then we got Tyler King Toot. It's funny how the lists kind of get a personality of their own. It's like wild how that happens. Tyler King Toot, Anconimum, Cloyd, okay?

Jesus Calderon, Cincinnati Frankie. Then we got... I like Cincinnati Frankie. You like Cincinnati Frankie? I'm going to give him a Drexler Cincinnati Frankie. Then we got... I like Cincinnati Frankie. You like Cincinnati Frankie? I'm going to give him a Drexler Cincinnati Frankie, yeah. Then we got, I cite this podcast from my papers. It's what it is.

That's funny. It's a Drexler. Then we got Chet Chudaldensky, Jeremy Franklin, Miguel Aguero, Jacob Zobrist, Mitchie Colombo. I like Mitchie Colombo too, Drexler. Mike Quinn, Ryan McPhillips, Felicia LeBron, Thotty by Nature. That's on the list. Then we got Genghis Khan,

Hud Shields, Super Famario Brothers, which we've had, but it's funny. El Dingo. Then we got Kyle Minnesota. I like El Dingo as well. You like El Dingo? Yeah, I'm going to put El. I mean, I want to throw those three into a Drexler band.

Okay. Yeah. Then we got Kyle Minnesota, Syrup Monkey with an undersized piece because I'm a squeak and I'm white. Duster Hoft. Funny. So a Syler band. Okay. Yeah. Then we got Kyle, Minnesota Syrup Monkey with an undersized piece because I'm a squeak and I'm white. Duster Hoff. Funny.

So a Syrup Monkey. Okay. Then we got Corbin Porter, Chrissy Clamp. If he just kept it at Syrup Monkey. Might be good. Yeah, because that's a Canadian.

That's real funny. In fact, thank you for giving. I'm going to put him as a Drexler just because now he gave us something to call Canadians. Yeah. Slang Wanger.

Then we got Non Toot with Cute Glutes. Mike's Loaf made me puke. Drexler. Wow, that's a Drexler heavy list. Zachary Zolna. Then we got coming in full of love like Father Bill

after an estrogen pill ready to give Chrissy trauma and my small but fair stimulus bill. Drexler. My girl caught me DMing Chrissy D my zucchini slice so make no mistake I've got a situation.

It's what it is, cuz. He called his piece a zucchini slice. Zucchini slice. Funny. Funny. Then we got Kyle Newman, JT Mandrapias, Kill Father Bill featuring a $3 bill, bending me over while we Netflix and chill, volume one, make me cum. It's really good.

Yeah. While we Netflix and chill, I think should have been the end. Yeah. But I'm giving you a direct story because it was good. Good. Good. Chrissy D's bruised uvula, CR, Ryan Thomas, Father Bill found me on touchalivek end. Yeah. But I'm giving you a Drexler because it was good. Good. Chrissy D's bruised uvula, CR,

Ryan Thomas, Father Bill found me on touchalivekid.org who's the sponsor. On the list. On the list and probably the winner. That's, yeah,

that's probably the winner. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably the winner. Then we got Louis Zapien, Dennis Lundquist,

Render Hocker. Then we got Ethan, make no mistake, the fumes are bad, but the glue gun makes up for it, Bolt. It's funny. It's a Drexler. Then we got Peepy, Drippy, Herpy, Lippy, Vernon, Howell, Koresh, YCA.

Then we got Ryan here for the thrill like Father Bill Watkins. Then we got Vito Mojito, Dequito Guido, Hammered on Coquito, and Fat. That's on the list. Yeah, that's on the list. That's on the list. Yeah, that's on the list. Brian Pace, Chris Nielsen. If you can find a way to make Coquito work,

because Coquito is just a funny word. Yeah. Then we got Cam Howard, Dylan Senf. Then we got From Toot to Cute. Then we got Ringy Ding Dong, Michael Scott, Fumar DeRozan. Then we got It's a Me, Fumario. It's a Me, Fumario. It's just Fumario and Fumar DeRozan. We we got It's-a-me, Fumadio. It's-a-me, Fumadio.

It's just Fumadio and Fumar DeRozan. We've just had a lot. It's just a lot of punches. If you're going to do it, you've got to do Fumaracari. Yeah, you've got to do

Fumaracari. Fumaracari, yeah. Then we got Zacharias, paid for my sub with stolen Greek gold, Smithicus. Okay.

Then we got Napoleon, boned Bart while holding a fart and eating a tart. Food borderline, almost. Noah Plumridge, Then we got Napoleon Boned Bart While Holding a Farn Eating a Tart. Full borderline almost. Noah Plumridge, Ebenezer Splooge on Chrissy's Deformed Tit. I mean, cuz, you're a couple weeks late, but I'm going to still fucking throw you on the list.

But if that came on Christmas, Ebenezer Splooge? Yeah, it's funny. And also, if you just went Ebenezer Splooge. Might have been better, yeah. Then we got Alex Chunot. Then we got Brendan Chobbs, podcast joke writer. Funny, I'm giving it to Drexler. Funny.

Then we got Maria Cecilia. Then we got Matt Romo. Stepod N. San Enes. Then we got Chrissy Bitchips, a.k.a. Yanni Galapagos Islands, a.k.a. the love Bill Cosby had for those women. Moving on. Funny.a. the love Bill Cosby had for those women. Moving on. Funny. Then we got Joshua Flynn.

Then we got Harold and Fumar take a different way to Bay Ridge while drinking brews in the hood, cuz. We've had it. We've had it. Then we got Thomas Iacovelli, Alan,

Elaine Tellez. Then we got junior officer Blowey ready to cuck and serve anyone I see in the Ridge not making America cute again. Yeah. Then we got Stefan Edwards. Then we got Father Bill's used $3 flashlight. Then we got Bernie.

Drexler. Cuzzy D'Amato. And then last but not least, make no mistake, saying Trump 2020 will get you cracked out by Father $3 bill in gay AOC's gulag on notice. Okay.

So that was a heavy, heavy Drexler. Heavy Drexler.'s let's read who the who the contender yeah who the contenders okay so how does he know you send it to him you highlight them in green we can't have you read them anymore because of the dyslexia yeah sorry venezuela friends i'm sorry i made fun of people i'm not an ableist here's the list here's the list because i gotta run i gotta pick up a baby up the baby. Here's go. We got Fumariya Carey, Derek Frankson, Rice and Beans. Okay. That is a contender because that was there for the taking.

Got it. Mary had a muzzy cuzzy. He doesn't have a bomb under there, does he? Okay. Shout out, but you're going to lose this one. Yeah. Lance Armstrong's cancerous testicle. That's up there.

Obi-Wan Kuknobi and Luke Bywalker. Luke Bywalker's good. You liked it? But I'm going to shout out and just say you're losing this one. Naughty by Nature. Good one. Instead of Naughty by Nature, you're going to lose this one. Vito Mojito, Dequito, Guido, Hammered On, Coquito, and Fat.

You're going to lose this one. And then last but not least, probably the winner, Father Bill found me on touchoflifekid.org. That's the winner. That's the winner. Clear winner. So if you're going to come with a Father Bill, it has to be something like that, which is a play on touchalifekids.org, which is what Tim Dillon's belly hair did for last auction tier. That's the site.

I'm going to say this. Father Bill and Fumar, I don't want to discourage you from giving it a go, but you're not going to win unless it's a banger like that. It has to be very, very good. Yeah, because we've had those a lot, but I love the originality of Armstrong's cancerous testicle and things of that nature. So there you go. Thank you guys so much.

This is casting me January 16th. Saul Joel's Comedy Club in Royersford, Pennsylvania. The Heated Dome. Outdoor Heated Seats. We've added a second show. Let's go. It's going to be me and James Maddern. Historyahinas.com.

And Yanni is fucking going to get big quick. No. Yeah, just take a peek uh rogan at some point we'll air that episode i will you'll be yeah i don't hopefully it went well if you i don't know when this is it definitely went well so so yeah so that i mean and that's i mean what else what else is there left to say nothing just shout out joe rogan just shout out joe rogan thank you for having uh us on and uh yeah i'll be uh, I'm going to LA to hang out with Timmy in his fucking huge house. I mean, that's going to be sick. And we'll show we get a lot of content there.

And yeah, baby. So just stay gay, stay strong. And remember, patreon.com slash be a rich voice is a beefed up Patreon. So listen, it's worth the money. Check it out.