History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 21 - The History of History Hyenas Is WILD!!!

Episode Date: July 1, 2018

The Hyenas get WILD and discuss their friendship and what led to the team of Hyenas we know and love today!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. Yo, what up, kaziwazis? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Rafael DeLuca. Kyo-kyo-kyo-kyo. Bring over Trash Monkey the Hyena. He's over at TMPH. Well, no, he's in the camera view. All right. He used to stay in the AC. You want to start it off or you want me to start it off? Well, they're hearing us right now.

Yeah, all right, I'll start it off. Yeah. Yeah. What's up, cuzzy-wuzzies, cuzzies, cuzzettes? It's Christopher Pseudotit DiStefano. Cute. And the cutie with a booty. Cutie with a booty.

Yanni Pappy. Cuz I got no butt. You have zero butt. I think every time you take a shit, a little bit of your butt falls off into the toilet bowl. Cuz I have no energy. You don't, huh? I have actually a zero today. So I'm going to plow through this, but I just want to let the fans know and members of the matriarchy is this is a time where I need your love and I need you to find the kill and bring it to me because I just have zero fucking energy.

My kid has been screaming at the top of her lungs since six o'clock in the morning, and I am at an absolute zero. I've had three coughs. Wow., and I am at an absolute zero. I've had three coughs. Wow. Yeah, I've had three coughs. I've had a little bit of Coca-Cola. I've been trying to get the energy up. It's just not happening.

You never try to borrow any power from your hair? Yeah, I could, or from my pseudo-tit. Yeah, you never squeeze it a few times? No, I should have. Yeah. I should have. I'm a dirty fucking asshole. Yeah, but you should definitely be able to, there should be power reserve in your hair. Yeah. I should have. I'm a dirty fucking asshole. Yeah, but you should definitely be able to, there should be power reserve in your hair.

Yeah. Because one thing about you, I mean, we say it over and over again, saving grace. You could blow out. We know it's going to happen. I mean, you're borrowed trash. It's in your DNA. Right. So you're going to blow out bad.

You're going to be wearing sweatpants at a certain point just because belts don't work anymore. Yeah. But you'll always be able to stay cute because you got fucking good hair. Yeah. Yeah, you do got good hair. And this is hairspray because I ran out of gel. Wow. Yeah, that's why it looks different.

It's hairspray. But do you like it like this though? It's a little, it's not as nice. Yeah. No, here's the thing. Your hair, it always looks like it doesn't move. It always looks good. Yeah.

Yeah. I got a fucking, I ran out of hair stuff. Yo, because when you get 50s, are you going to still shave the sides like that? Or are you just going to go full blown like old man hair? I may have to go old man hair and just let it go down. With hair on the sides too. My dad's 70. He's still not bald.

I know. And he's not gray either. No, he's not gray. By the way, by whoever the fan was, the History Hyenas fan was from Philly, make yourself known right on the community board or send us an email at brb.patreon.gmail.com. Whoever yelled cutie with a smoothie at me and my dad yesterday in Citizens Bank Ballpark in Philly was funny.

Oh, wow. You called him here? Somebody went cutie with a smoothie and me and my dad were both fist fucking Philly cheesesteaks. He goes cutie with a smoothie and just kept walking. You were a fatty with a cheesesteak fucking Philly cheesesteaks. He goes, cutie with a smoothie and just kept walking. You were a fatty with a cheesesteak. Because those cheesesteaks, let me tell you something. The Philadelphia cheesesteak is one of the best sandwiches,

I think, in our country. What do they call it out there, hoogie? Yeah, they're a hoogie. Hoogie. It's crazy how we literally, this is to the people, it's crazy how, you know, I'm talking about Philly, we drive from New York to Ph people. It's crazy how, you know, I'm talking about Philly. We drive from New York to Philly. It's 77 miles.

It took an hour and a half, and it's a different fucking world. They have different words for everything. Their accents are completely different. You want to go home. Yeah, you want to go home. Call me on the phone. The phone, Higgies. But it's like, it's literally, it's like, it took an hour and a half.

It would be a 10-minute flight, and it's a different world. Yeah. Yeah, they got a whole different culture out there. Yeah. Yeah, they got rival teams. Yeah. Yeah, they just – South Jersey and Philly, they just – they say, can I get a Diet Coke? Can I get a Diet Coke and a Hoogie and what – and he just hit a home run.

And they want to go to Wawa's. Yeah, they got Wawa's. But I will tell you, me and my pops were in there with New York Yankees jerseys on, and the Philadelphia Phillies fans, very respectful people. They get a lot of bad raps that they're going to be scums. They couldn't have been nicer. Well, that's probably because it was a day game.

No, it wasn't. It was 7-0-5. Wow, you didn't get beer dumped on you? No, and in the sixth inning, we went into McFadden's Bar, which is, they have a bar in the stadium because we just wanted to check it out. And it was all Phillies fans. And we were in there with Mariano Rivera jerseys. And nobody said anything.

Yeah, but a lot of kids probably recognize you. That's why. No. I don't know. I don't know. They're like, oh, that's Chris DiStefano. That's Chris D. Yeah.

The Queen Matriarch is here because you're not going to get messed up when they know the Matriarch's in town. That's a nice stadium, by the way. Is it? You want to go? Yeah, I'll go with you. But look, I don't want you to be admitting out loud that you got low energy and you're on fumes. Yeah.

Because you're supposed to be the Matriarch. I know. You know what nature does to people who are fucking weak? Yeah. Yeah, a lot. We get fucking eaten a lot. Like the zebra in the picture that Zach Isis has put up on the screen of just seven, it's about eight hyenas just eating a zebra underwater. Yeah, it's like-

Yeah, it's not bad enough. They have them underwater and they're eating them. Yeah, they just- That's what you call a community table at a trendy restaurant. Look at the one in the back with its face just dipped in blood. Yeah, when they eat, yeah, it's like they do face painting. They just stick their heads in the body. In the body. Absolutely. All in there. Because that's where the good stuff is, the guts and all that. Cuz, you got me a gift? Yeah, I got you a gift, Cuz. What is it, Cuz? Wow. Yeah. I

think I told you about it. This is not like Giannis at all to be thoughtful in any way. No, not at all. I'm a real bad person, right? No, you're No, to be honest with you, you're a good person and you're a very, very loyal guy. And I would be shocked if you and I weren't friends till the end. Yeah? I think you're a loyal kid.

You think so? Yeah. Yeah. I'm a good kid. And you look jacked. Do I look jacked in this shirt? Yeah. It's a fitted shirt.

I look pretty jacked. You got that from Banana Republic? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, though. The pattern on it's about to give me a seizure. What do we got, cuz? Cuz, you're just a jersey-wearing kid.

I wear baseball jerseys, yeah. Every single fucking day. Every time I come out of the house, my goal is to look like an undercover cop. Yeah, I mean, do you ever do a day without a jersey? And you're wearing a Mets jersey. Yeah. You're not a Mets fan. I'm a Yankees fan.

Cuz, you do what blacks do. Only blacks wear teams that they don't root for because it matches this, niggas. Because the thing is with me, the only team I won't wear is the Boston Red Sox. I don't really have a problem with the Mets. And to be honest, this is a New York Mets jersey, but it's really more of a fan of Dallas Strawberries. I love Strawberries. Oh, that's a strawberry on the back?

Strawberry, yeah. How many jerseys do you got? I have every single team. I have a player of every single team besides the Boston Red Sox. Yeah. I will never buy a Red Sox jersey. And what does the jersey do for you? Why do you wear it?

Is it just good on your body? It's a good fit. It's the only thing that kind of hides the pseudo tit in plain sight because then people will know and they'll try to cut it off. Yeah. And it creates that illusion that i'm jacked yeah when i'm not yeah and when i'm on stage when everyone's looking at you i it kind of takes focus off my thunder thighs because i got a jersey on and i feel good i you know i just

feel like i always feel like i'm around at third base you do have thunder thighs yeah right i got big legs huh but you sit down and really yeah You can see the material holding on for dear life. Can I ever get rid of that? I don't know, man. I don't think so. It's just one of those things. Your genes, it's genetic. You have the genes.

When you were young, you were skinny and you were jacked and you were athletic. But as you get older, it's all going to blow out to match that head. You're a big-boned kid. Yeah. Yeah. People say I'm a stocky kid. You're a stocky, stocky kid. I'm a stocky or a huskyboned kid. Yeah. People say I'm a stocky kid. You're a stocky, stocky kid. I'm a stocky or a husky kid.

Yeah, yeah. But do girls like that beefiness, or am I too fat? Well, girls like that, and also dudes who pass you on the street, apparently. Yeah, and dudes who send me DMs on Instagram. Wow, tell us about what happened. Okay, I got a fucking DM from a guy on Instagram. I mean, this is wild right now. Because then it kind of made me think like, wow.

Yo, Zach's Jack, too. Have you ever noticed? Zach's Jack. Zach's Download Jack. Yeah, and when Zach takes a shower, he's a good kid. You carry shit through the desert. That's right. Okay. So, this kid, I'm not going to say his name, because he's in the closet.

But he sends me this message. We get all types of weird messages. Okay, so here's how it all started. Yeah. Zlatan. Not Zlatan. Yeah, Zlatan, who's a big-time soccer player. He was playing for the Swedish national team,

but he doesn't anymore. Big-time, world-famous soccer player. He was on the ESPN Bodies issue the other day where they get naked and they take pictures. And Zlatan has tattoos all over his body. He has tattoos on his butt. And a cute butt. And a cute butt.

So I posted a picture of it with crying laughing faces on his butt. And I posted it on my Instagram story and I put Cinnabuts because the tattoos look like cinna butts so i put cinna butts yeah up there right so then i get a message this morning again i'm not going to mention his name don't read it exactly just paraphrase why just just nobody if nobody knows the name we get a lot of messages like this oh yeah you get a lot of them yeah yeah hey i saw you post that pic there he goes reading it specifically yeah i mean the guy's why he can't be contained because that's why he's the matriarch yeah because hey it goes hey i saw you post that pic as late on i was wondering if you're into that because i never see you post anything women related you just post comedy your daughter and hyenas

we're living life yeah you just post comedy, your daughter, and hyenas. Because that's what's important. That's what it is. And then he goes, let me know because I'm in the closet, too. Whoa. And I see you walking around the West Village a lot. And he said, I'm in the closet, too. Wow.

Just assuming that I'm gay. Because he knows. Because I'm not gay. I'm just a TBP. Yeah, but your butt twitches when you work. There's a lot of jelly in there. Am I TBG, too? Wow. So then I wrote, my response was, again, you know, a tbp yeah but your butt twitches when you work there's a lot of jelly in there mitbg too wow so then i wrote my response was again you know yannis would argue why am i even responding absolutely

but the kid not only do i accept the message send him a friend request but then i i go back lol wow yeah then i say nah not gay but support the gays big time that's what i wrote back yeah then he goes then here's where he just becomes this is this is the funniest part to me but support the gays big time. That's what I wrote back. Yeah. Then he goes, then here's where he just becomes, this is the funniest part to me. He says, okay, just saying low key,

I walked by you going to Village Underground on Friday. You were with a fellow black comic, and I felt like you checked me out big time. So I was confused too, because I'm not gay either, but it got me thinking, you know, whatever, dude, go Yankees. Fuck the Red Sox. Because I'm not gay either. But it got me thinking, you know? Whatever, dude. Go Yankees.

Fuck the Red Sox. Isn't that a fucking wild message to get? Absolutely. Do you think the kid was fucking around or that was a true blue message, a TBM? Well, here's the thing about modern day with the internet. Our podcast has taken off. We got a lot of fans. Right.

People yell shit at us us We're fucking wild kids Right And they can contact us Right It's so accessible now Right So Usually the people who reach out

And contact us You know Right You know are a little wild Yeah The ones who actually do Like think about it If you're a fan of something right

Right Are you gonna go ahead And like message or email them No Most people don't most normal people don't so whoever messages you has a little fucking wild in them and guess what yeah we love you guys because this is a wild podcast yeah and chrissy d is a wild human being yeah and the truest of the psychos actually get into the studio shout out wow that's hilarious. Yeah, I mean, how crazy is that? Yeah, you should just respond and be like, no, I'm not gay, but I support.

I'm trans, though. Yeah. I'm a straight woman. Yeah. Who's into, I'm a lesbian trans. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a lesbian trans out. So, yeah, that's what I woke up to this morning.

And it's just been a little fucking weird all day. I thought, you know, my right ear is clogged. I've been real fucking tired. Well, you're a little bit on the spectrum. That's, you know, my right ear is clogged. I've been real fucking tired. Well, you're a little bit on the spectrum. That's why they call you Chris the Spectrono. Yeah, that's it. That's what it is. Did you walk around Bay Ridge today, cuz?

Yeah, I did. What'd you do? I walked into Banana Republic to buy some t-shirts. I wanted some white tees. Yeah, you still never gave me my gift. Because I'll tell you this, the 86, well, yeah, that's right, we're about to do it. Oh, yeah. The 86th Street Banana Republic, it's owned by Santa Claus.

Yeah. I mean, it's an outlet there, and you can get gold prices. Bay Ridge, baby. But I walked in, and I remembered I didn't have my debit card because I lost it in Syracuse. How Brutes Magoots is Syracuse? It is Totes Brutes Magoots. T-B-A. T-B-A.

See, I couldn't even do it in my brain. T-B-A. T-B-What? Totes Brutes Magoots. T-B-M. See, I couldn't even do it in my brain. T-B-A. T-B-what? Toast fruits my goats. T-B-M. M, yeah. Toast fruits my goats. You're Chris DeSpectre now.

Yeah. Yeah, because, yeah, you're wild. You need to be walked up to. I think it would be good for the economy of Poughkeepsie just to know that that's the place that you got walked up to and killed because it would become a tourist site. That's it. They'd put a plaque there. Yeah.

Here lies the matriarch wild. Wild. Chrissy DeSpectro. Yeah. And yeah. So my Coke bottle shaped casket. Yeah. So I lost my debit card in Syracuse.

So I walked in. I said, oh, yeah, I don't have enough cash to buy these T-shirts. I walked back out. Well, I got another coffee. I'm on two iced coffees today. Wow. Yeah. And where'd you go?

Mocha on 86 and 4th? I went to Cafe Cafe. Oh, Cafe Cafe. The Norwegian spot. Yeah. Love today. Wow. Yeah. Where'd you go? Mocha on 86th and 4th? I went to Cafe Cafe. Oh, Cafe Cafe. The Norwegian spot. Yeah, love it. Coffee's good. I think I'm going to start hanging out there a little bit more. Muffins are a little dry.

Muffins are a little dry, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they've been sitting in there for a day. They've been sitting in there, but the coffee is good. Remember when we sat there and we saw that transsexual person walking around? Yeah, it started making us uncomfortable. It's not good for the property value. Yeah, that's what it is.

Once you become a homeowner, you're a little less tolerant. Not that the person was transsexual, no problem with that, but he was clearly selling crack. Yeah, he was. Or on crack. Yeah, it had nothing to do with that he was trans or she is trans. Oh, she, yeah. It was just the fact that he was outwardly selling and using crack on the corner. And walking around in a circle at 11 a.m. with a mini skirt and half a shirt on.

It's like, I'm having a muffin, having a coffee. It's too early for that. With a pink wig on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. at 11 a.m. with a mini skirt and half a shirt on. It's like, I'm having a muffin. It's too early for that. With a pink wig on. Yeah. So, I got you a present, cuz. Thanks, cuz. Yeah. But see, I can see a little bit of it.

I already see it's white. Yeah. So it's already going to be a problem. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you can't hide the tit in white. Yeah, but you can wear this in your house when you dance alone. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. And you ready? this in your house when you dance alone. Oh, great.

Yeah. Yeah. And you ready? Yeah. I'm going to hold it up to the camera for people to see. Look at that. Look at that. Whitney Houston.

Fucking Whitney Houston. And don't worry. Thank you, cuz. XL, double XL? Triple XL. Is it a triple? Of course. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Whitney Houston fans. Cuz, this is a fucking great shirt. Yeah. And it says TG on it. That's right. True. Whitney Houston fans. Cuz, this is a fucking great shirt. Yeah. And it says TG on it. That's right. True.

True gay. True gay right there. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yo, this is fucking one of the best gifts I ever got, cuz. If I was closer, I'd kiss you on the lips. But I'm not gay.

Go Yankees. Yeah, I'm not gay. Go Yankees. Fuck the Red Sox. Yo, cuz, that's going to be a fucking, that's going to be a phrase on here. We're going to say something gay in there. Yo, but I'm not gay. Go Yankees.

Go Yankees. Cuz, we're going on Thursday to see the fucking CeCe Sabathia All-Star game. Yeah, he invited you. Celebrity softball game. And you. We're going to go to the Red. We're going to walk on the red carpet as the Bay Ridge Boys slash history. Yeah, it's unbelievable, man.

Yeah. Yeah, we're going to be. We got fucking pro athletes on our, you know, supporting a part of the matriarch. CeCe Bathea is part of the matriarch. He is. How wild is that? Yeah. Because his body's blown out, too.

Guess who else wants to be part of the matriarch? Who? Who likes hyena pics? Noah Syndergaard, the pitcher for the Mets. Get out of here. So we got both New York team's aces part of the matriarch. He's going to be there? Yeah.

He will not be there. But he's just a fan of our stuff. Wow. So go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and join the matriarch yourself. Let me say this right now. Listen, guys, our matriarchy is growing. It's important. Go support.

Dollar a month, $5 a month. For anyone who does the, what is it, 20 or 25, we're going to send you a personalized video. Absolutely. We will send you a personalized thank you video. But here's the thing, you know, it's you get to pay us You get to show how much you love us. Yeah by just supporting us directly. Yeah patreon is an amazing amazing App and website It's completely legit and your money goes directly to me and Chris and supports our efforts to keep this going and to buy us new jerseys,

smoothies, and ice cups of coffee. Thank you. Even when you're on fumes, you got good energy. I got good energy, right? Yeah, I'm a true blue gay. So yeah, we got merchandise coming too.

We got a few t-shirt ideas in the works. We got a first shipment coming. So look out for those pretty soon. Because we're really taking over the podcast world plain and simple. We're plain and simple. Plain and simple is something that is, you know. It is what it is. It's plain and simple.

It is what it is. It's plain and simple. That's like when, you know, there's no it is. It's plain and simple. It is what it is. It's plain and simple. That's like when, you know, there's no other way. There's no kind of fancy language attached to it. It's just if something is what it is and there's no way around it, like two plus two equals four, plain and simple. If you're a cute kid, a cute kid is a cute kid. Yeah.

Plain and simple. Like Chrissy D is going to wake up every day and look for chocolate chip muffins. Plain and simple. Plain and simple. It's just it's as guaranteed as two plus two equals four. It just is what it is. You know you live in Sunset Park? You're going to have barbecues outside in the parks for your kids' birthdays.

Plain and simple. Just is what it is. You're about the public grill. Look, if you're African American in America and it's a Sunday, you're definitely going to have a barbecue in the backyard. You're going to have Air Force Ones on and a white t-shirt that looks like a dress. Plain and simple. Plain and simple. Yeah, and if you're an Italian kid growing up in America,

you're going to want to have a white beater, be sitting on your stoop, playing handball off your stoop, yelling about the Yankees. Plain and simple. Probably saying something racist. Plain and simple. It is what it is. If your name is Giannis Pappas You're definitely gonna wake up

Around 10, 30, 11 Yep With the dog waiting in your doorway Cause he's not allowing you in your room Yep But it's gotta take a shit Yep But what do you gotta do first?

Have a cup of coffee From your Keurig And throw a snooze in Plain and sim Plain and sim Jerk off onto the radiator Jerk off onto the radiator covers Plain and sim

Plain and sim Yeah If your name is Delilah DiStefano You're gonna wake up every day and try to run into the middle of the street, plain and simple. You want to hit those crosswalks going at least 20 miles an hour. If your name is Zach Isis, you're going to wake up in a room that doesn't have AC

but it's got a fan pointed at your head and you're going to get up and go to the Riotcast studios on the train that's above ground, plain and simple. And if you grow your beer long, you're going to be trying to look on different ways how to make the caliphate, how to reinvigorate the caliphate making New York City. If you've just recently cut your beer, you're going to be looking for transmission deals.

Plain and simple. Plain and simple. If you post a picture of you and your friend drinking a smoothie, it's going to get reposted on the Bay Ridge Boys Instagram. Plain and simple. If your name is Jim Serpico, you're going to get reposted on the Bay Ridge Boys Instagram. Planet Simp. If your name is Jim Serpico, you're going to wake up every day and post pictures to Instagram

of your children holding fish. Planet Simp. How Long Island are those sticks and pictures? Yo, that's Long Island fish, guys. Oh, man, Jim Serpico. Check out his Instagram, at Jim Serpico. It's all his kids holding fish.

That's all it is, guys. Planet Simp. Mini Mussolini. If your name's Bardo Church, you're going to show up here one out of three weeks with an intern sharp go. It's all his kids holding fish. That's all it is. Plain and simple. If your name's Bardo Church, you're going to show up here one out of three weeks with an intern who's slightly autistic. Plain and simple. If your name's Chris the Teacher, you're going to send me an email that I don't really care about. Plain and simple. If your name's Jen Bacacus, you're going to give us

four ages when we ask how old you are. Plain and simple. If your name's Rafael DeLuca, you're going to make a mixtape of us sayingain and simple. If your name's Raphael DeLuca, you're going to make a mixtape of us saying plain and simple. Plain and simple. He's got a new mix

out there. It's called plain and simple. Plain and simple. Plain and simple. That's what it is, guys. The last one he did, what was it about? Trance, right?

Trance. Yeah, that was a funny one. We'll play that. We'll play that at some point today. Zach Isis. You have a Zach Isis? Yeah. Cuz, let me tell you. Yeah. Do you have a Zach Isis? Yeah.

Cuz, let me tell you. Yeah. Why your fucking arms are jacked out. Cuz, for the good angle? Yeah. It's a good angle? Cuz, you literally don't have a piece of your body that's not covered in hair. You're a hairy fucking kid.

Yo, cuz. You're a hairy kid. The weirdest part about it is the hair, it's in strange patches. Yeah. And you know what's happened? As I've gotten older, it's kind of like you. Like when you're ethnic fucking trash. Right, like you are.

Yeah. I'm a Greek fucking trash monkey. As you get older, your body just starts to adapt that kind of gross ethnic look. Yeah. So this hair didn't used to be there, but it keeps riding higher and higher up my arm. But girls like it though. Girls like it. Girls like it. And you know, you're a cute kid. Yeah. You're used to be there, but it keeps riding higher and higher up my arm. But girls like it, though. Girls like it, yeah. And you know, you're a cute kid. You're about to be off the market.

Yeah. Yeah, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Cuz, you coming to the wedding? Yeah, cuz. You gonna dance Greek? Unless I gotta spot at the comedy cellar. That's it. Then I can't make it. Played it safe. Played it safe. Yo, cuz, you cannot you gotta behave yourself at the wedding, cuz. You can't wear a jersey there.

Why? Yeah, you can't. Come on, cuz. When you dress up, it's funny. Yeah. It's always funny when you dress up. Me too. We're not comfortable dressed up.

No, I don't look right with it. Yeah. Like when I wore my suit on David Letterman's show. Yeah. It was three sizes too big. Listen, cuzies, matriarch, listen in. If you want to see something real funny, go on YouTube, Google Chris DiStefano, David Letterman, and watch his David Letterman set when he comes out in a 100%, no doubt

about it, off the rack, suit that's four sizes too big. Yep. I'll tell you exactly what happened. I realized I didn't have a suit. I did David Letterman June 8th. I think it was June 18th, 2013 at 6 p.m. At 3 p.m. of that day, I went into Joseph A. Bank and just picked the suit right off the rack. I just grabbed one and put it right on. You did pretty – look at how big that suit is. Listen.

Yo, but I did pretty good though, no? For a kid from Ridgewood, Queens buying your first suit, cuz, I'm surprised you didn't walk into Modell's and ask them if they had one. And guess what, cuz? And guess who the other guest was? John Travolta. It was fucking, yo, I didn't even think about that. How fucking crazy is that? The first national TV appearance I ever had, John Travolta was the guest.

So Bay Ridge Boys was fucking destined from day one. Yeah. I told you. I mentioned this to you before. John Travolta was the guest on David Letterman. And from that Civil War episode, we were obsessed with Stonewall Jackson. Obsessed. If you go back and listen to that episode, the Civil War was wild.

All we did was talk about Stonewall Jackson because of how cute he was in his photos. We really didn't, though. He was a cute fucking kid. Yes, we did. Because I don't believe in ghosts. No matter how you try to tell me that. Well, let me tell the people. Yeah.

At Stonewall Jackson, guess where he was baptized in like 1861, 1831. That's right. Bay fucking Ridge, cuz. How wild is that? Baptized in Bay fucking Ridge. That is kind of wild. Yeah, because his fucking spirit latched on. Listen, cuz.

Chrissy's a wild kid. Yeah. I want to pull up the first Facebook message that Chris wrote me in 2009. Are you serious? Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Cuz, how do you even find that shit?

Cuz, should we do another shirt called Wow? We say wow a lot. Wow. I mean, we got to do a shirt called Wild. We got to do cute. Yeah. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. No, but we shouldn't.

No, we got to edit this part out because some fucking psycho is going to fucking make the shirt. It's that same kid who's going to buy the domains. No, you got some real stalker weird fans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But see how I just turned on the Jew brain right there?

You did. To protect our assets. So then you got to turn on the JB. You got to turn on the JB. That's a good shirt too, Jew brain. Yeah, Jew brain. Yeah. JB Incorporated.

Yeah. Okay. Edit that out. You going to edit that out? What? Which part? The Jew brain? No, not Jew brain.

The fucking t-shirt ideas. Just put hyena cackles over it. I'm just going to put silence so people will hear that shirts are coming out, but they You can edit that out? Which part? The Jew brain? No, not Jew brain. The fucking t-shirt ideas. Just put hyena cackles over it. I'm just going to put silence so people will hear that shirts are coming out, but they won't know the ideas. Or just throw some hyena cackles over it. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. Okay, this is 2009. December 10th, 2009 at 1014 PM, right?

Okay. So that means you're probably going to sleep to go to your physical therapy job. Okay. This is when you first started comedy, right? December 2009? No, December 10th, 2009. December 10th, 2009. So I started comedy August 5th, 2009.

So we're about four months in at this point. Four months in. You know, I've been doing comedy longer. I'm an older kid. A cute kid. Cute kid. But this is how we knew we were going to be friends. Because, yeah, yeah.

This is message number one. Message number one. All right? When's the first time I met you? I don't remember. The first time I met you, I think, was at Pudge Fernandez's show in New Jersey, that Angel G show. It was at a bar in the back of a restaurant in New Jersey.

I wasn't on the show. I just saw you sitting at the bar, and I was like, what's up? My name's Chris. You want to hang out? You want to work out? You want to work out? I was cool to you? I was cool, right?

You were a nice kid to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were fat in your leather jacket. You were just sitting there bloated. Yeah. I was a fucking fat kid. You were a fat kid, and you had on a Tuskegee Airmen jacket. Did I?

Yeah, you had on a fucking bombing raid jacket. Oh, I know that, Jay. It's about four sizes too big. I tried to give it to you, but it's too small for you because your arms are too long. Yeah, yeah, my arms are too long. Yeah, you were put together by the simulators for sure, 100%.

And they laugh every day. Every day, plain and simp. Plain and simp. Yeah, yeah. Your feet are deformed plain and simp. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so here's the deal.

So Chrissy, you were a real go-getter at the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're a wild kid, so you go right in. Yeah. So he goes, hey, Giannis,

and he puts a period there, you know, because he's from Queens. Yeah. Yeah, he mean, you're a wild kid, so you go right in. Yeah. So he goes, hey, Giannis. And he puts a period there, you know, because he's from Queens. Yeah. Yeah. He's an educated kid, but the grammar. I'm from Queens. He's from Queens. Yeah. So I'm going to try to do it in your voice, too.

Hey, Giannis. What's up, man? Hope you remember me. If not, this is embarrassing. But was just wondering if you had any availability on your show this Sunday, question mark, or even the following Sunday. Pudge Fernandez had asked me to, if you had room, Pudge Fernandez had asked me to, if you had,

I'm reading exactly how you wrote it, guys. Wow, you hadn't been out of Queens at this point. No, no, no. You hadn't even met a Jew yet. Cuz, the first time I'd been to Manhattan was probably two months before that. Yeah, cuz. So, yeah, yeah.

So he goes, yeah. Or even the following, Punch Fernandez had asked me to if you had room for the both of us on the same night. But if not, it's cool. Also, I'm sure a lot of comics

probably ask to get down with your film company ditch. Actually, they don't. And I guess I'm one of those comics. LOL. Wow, cause you were awkward. Yeah, but I'm a go-getter, no? Yeah, but yeah I probably thought you were secretly gay too here

Like, try to ask me if you could suck my dick Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah But seriously I watched some of the stuff online And I think it's really cool Wow, you're fucking gay Bang, bang, bang Yeah

I think it's really cool I mean, if there was any help you guys needed with equipment with equipment or anything or anything or if there was any time that you needed a comic I would love to help out I mean

I can do a lot of act outs and characters so IDK I don't know yo you were acronyming even back then cuz wow I don't know I yo, you were acronym and even back then, cuz. Yeah. Wow. I don't know. I was just throwing it out there. So let me know about the show or about the film stuff if you're not too busy. Sorry about the long message

on Facebook. I know it's kinda gay. Wow! But that's just how I roll. No homo! Wow! I'm a gay kid! Speak to you soon, man. Thanks. Signed, Chris DeStefano. Wow. Wow. I'm a gay kid. Speak to you soon, man. Thanks. Signed, Chris DeStefano.

Wow. Wow. You're a fucking kid from Ridgewood, Queens, bed. You messaged me like you were applying for a job on LinkedIn. Yo. You signed it Chris DeStefano. And you were living in your mother's basement doing ditch films fucking. Yeah.

Out of the back of a car. I was nowhere. Exactly. Yeah. And you were asking to do a fucking spot on my free room. I said I offered to hold the equipment. Yeah. Yeah.

You're a yo. And yo, and just because you have no compassion, you never even responded. No, I responded. What'd you respond with? I responded the next day, which is pretty good for me. Yeah. Yeah. 10-11, 10-11, 2009.

Okay. So, and this is so me too. 1-36 AM. Yeah. Wow, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get Alzheimer's bad. 2009. Okay. And this is so me too. 136 AM. Yeah. Wow, yeah. I'm going to get Alzheimer's bad. Yeah. Okay.

I go, of course I remember you. Come by sometime on Sunday and do a set. Just let me know which one you want to come down on. How fucking cool am I as a kid? I was a cool kid. Yo, that's a cool kid. I probably never showed up. No, you go like, then you responded.

1211, 2009 at 715 AM. Yeah, I was up for work. You were up for work. Yeah, yeah. You say, okay, man, I was up. You were up for work. Do a physical therapy job. Yeah. You say, okay, man, cool, period. So how about this Sunday? Pudge had X if he could get down two. If there was room for the both of us, if not, that's okay.

You keep going with that if not, you're a real cool kid. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, this Sunday would be cool if possible. Thanks a lot, man. And then this part. Also, want to suck your dick. day yeah did i really say that no no no no and then uh yeah so then that's it yeah i was cool kid to you cuz yeah you were a nice kid

i probably showed up i had diesel traps back then right yeah yo but look at this yo by the way everything i'm reading to you is 100 exactly what it was we'll post the post picks up post a snap we'll give it to isis he'll post it up on the community board. Yeah. First messages between Yanis and Chrissy D. And ISIS will translate it into Arabic and send it back to his friends. Yeah. Okay. So then on 6-17-2010, you randomly just messaged me a Wikipedia page of China Airlines flight

006. Is that the one that almost hit the water? What happened with it? Was it daily nonstop flight departing from Taipei at 4.50 as scheduled? Was this the one that hit the water? I think it almost did. Did we have like a conversation about it? I think you and Phoebe Robinson had a conversation about it.

And I was telling you about the story. Yeah. And I was telling you about the story. Yeah. And you guys didn't believe me. So I fucking went right home and I gave you that article. Because at that time, I didn't think. Because again, I was telling you about the story. Yeah. And you guys didn't believe me. So I fucking went right home and I gave you that article. Because at that time, I didn't think, because again, I was just using technology. I didn't know that you could Google stuff from your phone.

So I had to go back to my desktop at my mother's house to search the article and send it. Yeah. Yeah. On that one computer that's probably a compact Presario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it still on that desk? That computer still to this day, if you turn it on from all the fucking porn I used to watch on it, it freezes. Freezes.

It freezes. Two minutes in, it's frozen. And then look what I texted back. We're going to post it so you don't know. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow!

Exclamation point. Wow. So we were even saying wow back then. Wow. Yeah. And we didn't even really know each other like that. No. And then in 2014, now we're friends.

So three years later. Three years later. So we became friends at that. We were talking on the phone. Yeah, when I was in Miami. Remember we did MSG the bracket in 2013. Yeah, because I called you when I got dumped, hysterical crying, walking through the blizzard. Yeah. We used to talk on the phone when I was in Miami. And then we bonded on both being heartbroken. Yeah. So then in 2014, you texted me. I remember you told me you wanted a shirt. You wanted a Maurisa shirt. So I sent you the link. And I said, we actually ran out of all the shirts. I remember you told me you wanted a shirt. You wanted a Mauritius shirt. So I sent you the link. And I said, we actually ran out of all the shirts.

But if you want one, they're here. And I sent you the link. And then from there, and then you said, wow, awesome, man. Wow, you were going to make me buy a shirt. And then you sent me randomly again on 8-21. 8-21 what year? 2017. Okay.

Yeah. And now we're friends. You're in Bay Ridge at this point. Yeah. Yeah. You sent me a picture of the eclipse. Yeah. Yeah. You sent me a picture of the eclipse. Oh yeah. You sent me a video of the eclipse. But it really wasn't the eclipse. What was it? Fucking take

a look. I'm gonna take a look. It's taking a while to load. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's not loading. No? No. And then so that was the beginning. Well what it was was there's a picture of the eclipse, but then when you press play it's somebody's nuts that fucking drop into frame. You get teabagged.

It's some old dude's nuts. So that was the origins right there. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, wow. So this episode is actually about the history of us. Yo, this is the history of us. This is the history of Yanni P and Chrissy D.

Yeah. Yo, let's fucking keep, let's tell people more. Yeah. Yeah. So I remember, so I remember too. My first memory of you. Yeah. Yo, let's fucking keep, let's tell people more. Yeah. Yeah. So I remember, so I remember too. My first memory of you, sharp memory of you,

right, was at a Pudge Fernandez show in Queens that we did. Remember it had a long bar. Oh yeah. Cobblestones or something. And I remember that, I remember we were talking

outside or whatever and I remember thinking like, wow, his personality doesn't match his look. I was like, he's a sweet kid. He's a sweet kid, yeah. Yeah, you're a good kid. Yeah. I remember that place well because right across the street they had this Asian spot. They had dope rice puddings. They did.

I'm going there. Oh, you know where the sweets are, yeah. I'm going to have a fucking couple of puddings or two. Yeah. In between. Because I used to host this guy, Pudge Fernandos, who's a great guy now. Great guy. Yeah, he may be your Uber driver.

It is what it is. It is what it is. Because plain and simp, you know? I mean, sometimes you got to drive cabs. I mean, it is what it is. He's a fucking great guy, Pudge Fernandos. I mean, back then he was like 30-something years old and his daughter was like 29. 29, yeah.

Yeah. He's a big-time Colombian kid. Yeah. We used to talk about sweets. Me and him used to fucking pound these cro a big-time Colombian kid. We used to talk about sweets. Me and him used to fucking pound these croissants from this Colombian bakery. He's not a small kid. He's not a small kid. He's a big kid.

I remember one time he didn't eat for 35 days. He lost like 40 pounds in 35 days. He was just drinking lemon juice and ginger, cayenne peppers, and then he just put it all back on in one weekend. Yeah. I remember one time he just stopped eating because he was like i'm gonna fucking go on this diet it's gonna be dope yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so i remember punch fernandez he was the guy he like really helped me out so much when i first started stand

up he would like put me on his shows and like drive me around everywhere and at that time you because you have been standing up doing stand up a of years, or even more, maybe four or five years by then, right? By 2010? Yeah, I mean- 2009, 2010? If this is the history of us, I really started stand-up, I started stand-up in 2000.

Yeah. But I also had a sketch group. We did a sketch group. And then I quit comedy for the most part until about 2005, 2006. Yeah, because you got shot. Yeah, and I took time. I was doing social work. Yeah. You're a gay kid to do social work at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you got shot. Yeah, and I took time. I was doing social work.

Yeah. And yeah. You're a gay kid to do social work, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Having panic attacks, yeah. And let me just say this real quick. Yeah. Let me just say this, okay?

I'm fucking sick and tired. I'm really sick and tired about all the people posting about all these issues and things like that. If you want to do something, you know the people who really help in this world are the people who quietly do stuff.

Go fucking do a fundraiser. Raise some money. Post about the fundraiser to get people in there. But stop showing off. Because the people who are always fucking showing off don't do shit and they don't really fucking care. They don't really fucking care. That's how it is. You can't tell me

shit. I grew up, my mother was a human rights lawyer. I used to walk around with a fucking UNICEF fucking thing. Our Christmas cards were always fucking those UNICEF cards that go to kids all over the world. My mother wrote a book about the international rights of children for the United Nations. I grew up around fucking social consciousness and doing shit. That's what it was. My mother was on the Human Rights Commission in New York shit. Right. That's what it was. My mother was on the Human Rights Commission in New York City. Right.

You know what I mean? Right. I was a social worker for fucking five years. Right. You do shit. Right. You quietly shut your mouth and you fucking do shit. Yeah.

So stop fucking posting. Your tweets don't make you a good person. No. People think they do though. Yeah. Yeah. It's become currency. Absolutely.

It's become fucking currency. I agree. It means nothing. Yeah. Whatever you're yelling means nothing. Yeah. Yeah. It's become currency. Absolutely. It's become fucking currency. I agree. It means nothing. Yeah. Whatever you're yelling means nothing. Yeah. It's all self-interested garbage

to make yourself fucking look good. Yeah. If you really cared, you'd do shit quietly. Yeah. This is comedy. It's fucking comedy.

Stop posting your fucking blah, blah, blah. If you do, I expect you to fucking do something. Yeah. Start a fundraiser, raise some fucking money,

do something. And that, it was our segment Liberal Cocky Honest. Yeah. That is. Every some fucking money. Do something. And that was our segment, Liberal Cuck Giannis. Yeah. That is. Every episode, we're going to have either one segment of Liberal Cuck Giannis or Gas Pipe Chrissy D.

No, that's Steel Pipe Chrissy. Steel Pipe Chrissy D. Steel Pipe Chrissy, yeah. It's going to either be Steel Pipe Chrissy D, Steel Pipe Chrissy, where I go on a rant, or Liberal Cuck Giannis, where, as you just heard, Giannis goes on a rant. So there it was. We'll put in some fucking applauses. After that, we'll do a drop. This has been Liberal Cuck Giannis goes on a rant so there it was we'll put in some fucking applauses after that we'll do a drop liberal

this has been liberal cookie on this time how bad do I look like I'm working in the campaign office of a local democratic candidate yeah you do you look like you work for Justin Brandon the fucking local Bay Ridge congressman yeah who I saw on Panetico by the way if you listen yeah and he said and he said he was

he was he I'm not gonna lie to you he looked like he had a couple of breakfasts I thought it was meetings of people it was just him he's not a small kid he's not a small kid cute kid sweet cute kid

he tatted up he's a Bay Ridge kid he's a Bay Ridge kid yeah yeah he had a few he had a few egg sandwiches over there but you know

what are you going to do it is what it is so you know if you're a big kid you got to eat plain and simple and he said I haven't seen the Bay Ridge Boys episodes sandwiches over there, but what are you going to do? It is what it is. If you're a big kid, you got to eat plain and simple. And he said,

I haven't seen the Bay Ridge Boys episodes in a while. So I lied to him. I told him, I was like, oh yeah, because we're trying to sell it to TV and make it a movie. So we haven't put one up, but the truth is we've just been lazy. Yeah, new ones are coming up. The truth is we've been fucking, Bay Ridge Boys, we want to make it as good as we can,

so we take our time with it, and we've been putting a lot of energy into history hyenas. Well, that's the real truth about it. That is the truth about it. You can't do 100 things at once. Yeah. We've really focused on the podcast

to build it up. Yeah. You guys have really started joining the Patreon, becoming members, which is really great. Yeah. Keep doing that.

Also, tell your friends. Yes. Recommend, be proactive. You are in control. Tell your friends. If you love this, tell your friends. Yes. Recommend. Be proactive. You are in control. Tell your friends. If you love this, recommend it to a friend. So we've been really focusing on history. I hate this.

But the new Bay Ridge Boys episodes are coming real soon. And guess what? We just found new jobs for our characters. So you're going to see there's going to be one group out there, one fucking city, one group in this city, one union that's really going to like us. I couldn't get it out. I'm tired. I'm sorry. Yeah, but you're doing good, Gugga. You're not really low energy. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, we're not going to tell the group because I got on the Jew hat. That's right.

Jew brand is in full effect. Yes, what it is. And I asked Justin Brown and I said, how come there's no express ferry that goes from Bay Ridge to downtown Manhattan? It would take 10 minutes and really revitalize the neighborhood. And he gave me an answer, but I couldn't understand because he had food in his mouth. He was like. Yeah.

So then me and Chrissy were, you know, we were kind of like acquaintance friends. Like we were cool. Yeah. We didn't really. We were kind of cool each other. Like we were friends. Well, our girlfriends were friends. And then our girlfriends became friends.

And we lived around the corner from each other. Yeah. But they only became friends when Girl girl code started yeah when girl code started these two girls became very close friends and i was living literally we were living around the corner from each other for about i would say a year yeah six months maybe pretty much we never really hung out though no not real well we kept saying we're gonna hang out we're gonna hang out but then yeah yeah just wouldn't happen we would sometimes see each other at that yogurt land on seventh avenue that's right remember and i would eat fucking i would get a couple of yo

good spot yeah and we were fat fucking kids if you guys want to see us being fat fucking kids well google a show called msg's the bracket yeah and yannis and i are the host we filmed this and i want to say 2013 summer early summer 2013 we were fat kids and and we didn't even look like each other here's how different we looked I was on the train once because a lot of New Yorker sports fans watched I was on the train once and this construction worker

was sitting there with a lunchbox and he was like a real typical New York guy and he goes yo you that kid from the bracket and I was like yeah he goes yo that show's pretty funny I really like what you and that fat Mexican kid do he called Giannis a fat Mexican

yeah if you look back at old pictures of Giannis he really looks like you absolutely have gotten so much better looking with age. You were always a cute kid, but back then, like you in the green shirt when you did your special, you literally looked like Tij Notaro. That's who you looked like. You looked like a lesbian.

I mean, look at what... I mean, Tij is not fat, but... Wait, look at that press video from Chicago. Look how fat I was. Scroll back up. Wow. You just had it. You just had it open. Where was it? Oh, yeah, with the sweatshirt. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow, you had a fat fucking. I had no jawline. Yeah, but you look, and you look like you were going down a bad path because you have turned it all the way around. Yeah, because I'm a fucking plain and simp, cute kid. Cute kid. Plain and simp. Google Chris DiStefano's fat face, too.

Yeah, just go the bracket, Giannis Pappas, Chris DiStefano. The bracket, yeah, Giannis Pappas, Chris DiStefano. Zach Bracket, yeah. Giannis Pappas, Chris DiStefano. Zach Isis just learned how to spell in English. Oh yeah, that's good. He's converted. Because look at how skinny you look there. I mean, you look fucking fantastic there. Yo, cuz, there's not one image of us from The Bracket. It's all

Bay Ridge boys. They still fucking play it every night and we can't. Did you put The Bracket? Oh, there it is. There it is on the right. All the way on the right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wow! That's a good one. Can you post that one up, Zachy? Yo, cuz, can you email, message that one to us?

We gotta post that on our Patreon. Look at my tits, cuz. Look at your tits. Do I got tits in that one bad? Yeah, cuz. What do we get paid? They play that. What do we get paid?

Like 500 bucks? We got paid. Literally, we filmed one day. I'm not lying to you guys. Probably broke every union rule in the book. We filmed from like 6 o'clock in the morning to 2 o'clock in the morning. We filmed 10 episodes of the show in one day. In total, me and Giannis got like $2,500 each.

And then we had to give up. And they probably, if we would have signed another deal, we probably would have made well into the six figures off this show. If we did any other deal the six figures off this show because if we did any other deal they still play yeah this show yeah and there was a period where they were playing it like over and over and over yeah because if they if we signed a real tv deal yeah we'd be rich i mean we were you know they got us you know before we really had anything but like just the people who run msg are real scumbuckets yeah yeah really are. Yeah, don't edit that part out either. You guys know you are your real fucking scumbucks.

I mean, it is so fucking sleazy. It's your fucking sleazy fucking guys. Yeah. And you guys know that you're sleaze buckets, so you probably never listened to the podcast, but if you do,

and if you know anyone who does work at the TV offices of MSG, just know your superiors are probably fucking sleazy McGee's. I mean, I remember what we got paid. We got five grand each. Yeah, they're sleazeballs. Five grand each

for something that they probably fucking made a shit ton of money. Shit ton of money. And yeah, they all got new cars and shit. Yeah. And we got dumped

by our girlfriends and fucking Giannis went to Miami and I fucking live with my dad on Staten Island. Yeah, so here's the history. So then we started filming this bracket show

and since he lived around the corner, we would meet right on the corner and take the train together. Yes. And we go into the bracket and yeah,

I think we filled like 10 or 11 episodes in like fucking three days. And that's when you started to really, when we filmed that show, you started to really realize my sweets addiction. Remember every morning I would go get a black and white cookie.

We'd stop and get breakfast and he would eat a black and white cookie for fucking breakfast. And you would laugh. You'd be like, yo, you're fucking eating sweets. He was like, yo, you're like a grown man.

Why are you getting black and white cookies? It's kid shit. And I was like, I don't know, cuz. You're like, it's just what I do. Yeah. You'd be like, yo, you're fucking eating sweets. He was like, yo, you're like a grown man. Why are you getting black and white cookies? It's kid shit. And I was like, I don't know, cuz. You're like, it's just what I do. Yeah. You just went, it is what it is. It is what it is. I just said I like black and white.

It's plain and shit. And then my girlfriend on Girl Code, which was a show on MTV at the time, broke up with me. Huge show on MTV. Huge show on MTV. You were on it. I was on it, yeah. But nobody got really heat off that besides the girls. They thought you were Andrew Schultz.

You two guys, they just didn't know which one was which for a while. Here's what it is. Guy Code was on MTV too, and that was a good episode. That was good for the guys, but it was on MTV too at like 3 o'clock in the morning on Wednesdays, where Girl Code was on actual

MTV. Like the president's daughter, Obama's daughter used to watch Girl Code. Yeah. Like that's how big of the show that was. Yeah. And so in around July of 2013, so I got offered there was a new network called Fusion that was owned

by ABC and Univision that was launching in Miami. This will never happen again because it was like a major network launching. So I got offered to go out for, you know, to audition to be on one of the shows on there. And I turned them down. Turned them down because I was living in New York. I had a girlfriend.

I had two dogs. Had a whole life. And I was like, nah, I'm not going to move to Miami and, you know, do the whole thing. But Girl Code was taken off. me and my girlfriend broke up well she broke up with me right I didn't want to break up with her at the time and I went to Edinburgh film the Edinburgh Festival where officially ended I was real depressed and then I called back up the CEO of fusion I was like yo about that job I turned down because I wanted to get out of fucking Dodge.

So I went to Miami and had a show. You got banged up hard. Yeah, I got banged up hard. I was hurt. And I remember, here's what I remember about that. I remember you going through it and my girlfriend, because your ex at the time, because you just got dumped,

would come to my house and talk to my girlfriend about it. And I remember feeling like, and I would hear from the girl's side and about how devastated you were. And I'm like, oh man, that sucks. But deep in my heart, I knew I was going to get dumped pretty soon. I was like, I'm next bad. You felt it coming? I knew it was coming. But I kept, here's how bad, because I knew it was coming, but I would suppress a lot. And I would make believe it wasn't happening because when

I actually did got dumped, I remember talking to my friend Mike Cannon and even you and being like I can't believe I got dumped and they Mike Cannon was the one he was like dude every day you would tell me when I would say how your relationship was going you would say I'm just waiting to get dumped yeah and now you can't believe it yeah because those girls got really hot they got like lightning in a bottle yeah and they didn't want to be tied down yeah so you got so you got decimated first I got decimated first. I got decimated. Yeah.

And then I moved to Miami. And then we used to talk on the phone. And then you ran through some puss. Ran through some puss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my fiance listens to this.

But yeah, it was before her. I mean, you know, she, yeah. It is what it is. That's why she's going to be fiance. She understands. Yeah, she gets it. She understands. I mean, some, you know, you go through a breakup.

Some girl's got to get the construction booth. Yeah. I was living high on the high. I got there, good pay, big fish in a small pond, had a two-floor apartment. Lost some LBs. Oh, I looked. Yeah. Yeah.

You could pull this. Probably some Miami Giannis photos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go to my Instagram. Go Miami Giannis. Yeah.

You just go Miami Giannis or Fusion Giannis. Yeah. Yeah, you a fucking sexy kid. Yeah. Yo, Zach, you still spelled my name wrong because it's D-I-S-T-F, not D-S. Yeah. Look at that cute girl. yeah you just go miami yannis or fusion yannis yeah you're a fucking sexy kid yeah yo zach you still spell my name wrong cuz it's d-i-s-t-f not d-s yeah look at the look at that all the way to the left look at that one zach yeah oh yeah wow and then go to the one to the right go to the small thumb image to the right of that this is yeah oh yeah well that's recent because i'm jacked that's a little more recent i think that was a stress factor go now go now image to the right of that. This is, oh, yeah. Well, that's recent because I'm jacked.

That's a little more recent. Yeah, you're jacked there. I think that was a stress factor. Now go to the one with his ex-girlfriend. See all the way. This is fat Giannis. There he is. This is disgusting Giannis.

Because I got six chins, legit. Yeah, see, but that's what I'm saying. Like when you're with the, I don't want to say she devil because that's wrong, but it was a tough time. We thought we were the happiest in our lives there, but looking at the pictures we were by far the saddest yeah yeah it is what it is and then you got dumped and i got dumped you and i was fat too we can pull up some of me yeah just put go just just google my name and you'll see some of my fat pics yeah just google chris di stefano um m, and then Google...

Still a good-looking kid, though. Yeah, but they're somewhere. I'm real fat. Just put maybe MTV. Go right there at the half hour, because then we shot half hours together for Comedy Central. That half hour when you're a little bloated. Yeah? Yeah, because that was 2014. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, big bloated. Oh, yeah, here we go.

And then go over to the right. Yeah, one more to the right. This is what... One more. One more. Yeah, see that face? And that's who I was with. That's what... Yeah, so for Saturday.

Yo, black and white cookies, Chrissy. Yeah, that was bad, cuz. Yo, then I... Do I look that fat anymore? No. Cuz you're no doubt. But like, am I... Do I kind of look still like that a little bit?

Cuz it's as plain as simp as plain and simp could be. Yeah. You're a fucking cute kid like times a thousand. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I changed a lot. Yeah. You got a strong fucking jawline.

Yeah, but I'm still fucking 230. At least you're 200. Yeah. I'm under. I'm 194. But up there, you were 220. I was 225 at my biggest. Yeah.

It's just because the thing is you don't have TTs. Yeah. When I was with Jesse May, I was 225. Yeah business it's just because the thing is you don't have tts yeah when i was with jesse may i was 225 i was a fat fucking kid drinking a lot of beer and you look like a woman because when you get fat you look like a woman yeah i look like a lesbo bag yeah yeah you look like you live in portland yeah but yo i remember that phone call when you've called me and uh yeah you're a great friend dude you really You really were a great friend. I'm a good friend. You still are a good friend. Yeah, I helped you through that.

Yeah, because I remember, here's what happened. So I got dumped. I got decimated. I want to say about six months after you. So you kind of were through. Would you say you were through most of the pain by then? Most of the pain, but I was still decimated a little bit. Yeah, but what you had is you had a lot of experience.

Yes. And you had been through it. You had suffered hard. Because how old were you when it happened to you 36 35 no uh 30 when you got hit 30 38 you were 38 when you got hit yeah so you were a little older to get hit too yeah yeah yeah yeah it was the first time i really got it was the first time that like had a whole life, you know, with dogs and all that. It was like, yeah. So I got hit. Yeah.

You got hit hard. And I remember I had just gotten the news that I had got my Comedy Central half hour special. And I was talking to Giannis. And then my manager called me and he called me twice in a row. So I had to switch over. And it was my manager plus every, all the executives at Comedy Central. And I was hysterical crying on the phone with executives. And then I think they questioned their decision.

They were like, is he emotionally savvy enough to do this? Well, here's another thing that this was destined to happen was you told me you got the half hour, right? When you were telling me you got the half hour while we were on the phone, my manager was beeping in. We got off the phone. I was like, I'm going to take this call. And then I found that I had got the half hour. In the same moments. Same moments we got off the phone I was like I'm gonna take this call and then I found that I had that got that right in the same moment same moments we got the half hour yeah and then we hung out in Boston what we got

him but take him back yeah so then you and her had a show for a second yeah yeah we had a show greenlit on the air on MTV yeah greenlit yeah this is 2013 yeah and I never forget this it's 2013 I'm taking the train of Boston so I was starting this new show called off the bat so i was on my way to fenway park which was a uh off the bat was an mtv2 show um that combined with major league baseball to try to make they tried to make baseball cool um by you know by by bringing some mtv comics in but then they wouldn't let me ask the questions about like you know banging hookers and shit they would just make me talk about their charity so it's like it was what it was i knew the show wasn't gonna work and they

also put it on sundays at 11 o'clock in the morning it's like that's not when the cool kids are watching tv so you did it to yourself but anyway um um so i'm on the train going up to boston and i get a text from you know who's soon to be my ex who who's Heather. I was like, uh-oh, SpaghettiO. Everyone knows who your ex is. Yeah, so I was like, uh-oh, SpaghettiO. So I was trying to deny, deny, deny, but she had downloaded some program or something like that where she was basically made a carbon copy of my phone.

Wow. Yeah, so she went to the lengths you know yeah dad issues yeah you know she got all she saw all your texts everything so you know whatever i at the time i don't ever to be honest with you yeah at this point i don't even know if i did fuck up or i didn't fuck up yeah like my home judgment of it is cloudy yeah you know i know one of the things she was accusing me of just wasn't true. Yeah. But other things, I'm like, maybe you had me. I don't know. Yeah.

So, anyway, I get dumped. Hard body karate. Yeah. I get dumped. And you guys were living together the whole night. Living together. And you had a show. We had a show greenlit on the fucking air, folks.

It is so hard. It already started airing? It did not start airing. It was shot. It was shot. They spent money on it? They spent money on it did not start airing it was shot it was shot they spent money on it? they spent money on it you shot a whole season

or how much? we shot had shot two episodes already wow so we were like contracts whatever

yeah so my manager you know tried to do what he could tried to salvage it be like oh maybe we can turn this into like you know this will be

classic MTV like maybe we turn it into like the drama it's not a comedy anymore and at that time I just wanted to do anything to try to be next to her.

Yeah. So, yeah, it's trying to. Yeah, because I was just all fucked up. Yeah. But thank God the show didn't go. Because if that show would have gotten on the air, I would never have been able to have been taken serious as a comedian ever in my fucking life again. Because I would have had a fucking show on MTV, a reality show getting destroyed by a female comic. Yeah.

Yeah. So, but Giannis really helped me out through that because he had went through it. And so we really started to bond then. And he would talk to me every single day and he would just talk to me about like, and it's interesting because in the, in that moment, right.

When I was going through that, like I said, I thought it was the worst time of my life. And now other than my daughter being born, cause I got dumped in december of 2013 january of 2014 i went through it really fucking bad i remember it was bitter cold i was still on tour with her so it's like i had to deal with all that shit and you would talk to me so much i used to have to i used to pay for my friends to come out and pay for my dad to come out i would have

to wear fucking uh headphones and she would rip you apart rip me apart or you got on stage Yeah, and I would come out to booze. Yeah Yeah, so it's like the honest was my fucking lifeline absolute lifeline. I'm here for you cut at the time Yeah Help me out so much and now when I look back like I said other than my my daughter being born I realized like February in March of 2014 So like right after you know, like pretty only two months after i got done was like the best times of my life I was like i think back to those times like i was having a good fucking time Because you really talked me off the ledge and you i really only dealt with the pain for about three weeks

I fucking really sat in it, but then I started to see light and then I went on a fuck fest Gave myself chlamydia twice True story true story Yeah, and then I called you once and then I called you like six months after I was like chlamydia twice. True story. True story. Play that sip. Dick was burning. Yeah. And then I called you once, and then I called you like six months after. I was like, uh-oh, one got past the goalie.

Yeah. Here comes my kid. And it was nice, because we shot half hours at the same time. Yeah. We hung out in Boston together. Yeah, remember that? Yeah. We hung out with Deebo and Patty Fly Balls.

Yeah. Remember Patty Fly Balls' brother, BC, Big Chest Eddie, ripped his shirt off and had his tits fucking flopping around. Yeah, yeah. And Rachel Feinstein still says one of them followed her into the bathroom. One of them followed her into the bathroom, tried to assault her. Yeah, we don't know which one it was. No, it didn't try to assault her, but was so drunk, followed her into the bathroom. Yeah, I mean, one of the Comedy Central execs got so hammered, she tore her ACL.

Yeah. I mean, it was a fucking party and a half. It was. Yeah, we had a great time. It was a good time. That was a good time. And I think back to 2014 as one of the best times of my life, and it's mostly fucking party and a half. It was. Yeah, we had a great time. It was a good time. That was a good time. And I think back to 2014 as one of the best times of my life. And it's mostly because of you, cuz.

Yeah, yeah. And so then I moved back here. Yeah, because you were in Miami. I remember you would talk to me a lot. Even though I went through the stuff with Jesse, you were a little lonely. Oh, yeah. I was lonely big time. You kind of gave up spots for that.

Yeah. You weren't doing comedy. Not that you weren't doing. I was doing a road. Just a little bit. I was doing a lot of road, yeah. I was lonely big time. You kind of gave up spots for that. Yeah. You weren't doing comedy. Not that you weren't doing. I was doing a road. Just a little bit. I was doing a lot of road, yeah. And I would come back to New York once in a while, but I was living in Miami. I was doing a show in Miami.

Yeah, I know. If that was going on right now, I would come to your house twice a month. Yeah. I would have flown down to Miami. But back then, I wasn't flying down to see you, but I should have. Yeah. How long did you live in Miami? One full year.

One full calendar year. Full calendar but I should have. Yeah. How long did you live in Miami? One full year. One full calendar year. Full calendar year. 365 days. Yes. 2015, was it? Yeah, it was from the end of August of 2013 to the beginning of September 2014. So when you did the half hour with me in Boston, you flew from Miami to Boston. Yeah, well, I was actually, I remember I was on the road that weekend at Rick Bronson's

Mall of America. I was at House of Comedy. So you went to House of Comedy right after the half hour? No, I went before. I went straight from there, from Minnesota to Boston. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, because-

And then I flew back down to Miami afterwards, yeah. And now, and then throughout the years, we just got a little closer, a little closer. Yeah, then I I flew back down to Miami afterwards Yeah And now, and you know And then throughout the years We just got a little closer, a little closer Yeah, then I came back Yeah And you had a couple pilots Yeah, none of them went I'm one and done

Either I get a show on the air And it's canceled after one season Or I just get the pilot And then they smash it But at that time you had I think you had a few Comedy Central ones Yeah, two Comedy Central pilots I was doing a digital show, Two Point Lead.

We would talk. We would hang out once in a while. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. And then I bought a house in the Ridge. Bay Ridge. In 2015, August. And then you moved to Bay Ridge right after that.

I moved to Bay Ridge like two months later. Yeah. And then I would say in like mid-2016, we were just walking through the neighborhood of Bay Ridge, and I was like, we should make a show of the Bay Ridge Boys. We should just fucking make a show. Yeah, it was in 2016. I think it was 2017. I think it was 2017. It was last year.

No, because I think we said that we were going to do it, but we didn't put the ball into motion for a while. You're right. So I thought it might have been 2016. Could have been. Could have been 2016. Because the first episode ever aired September 2017 of Bay Ridge Boys, which you can see on bayridgeboys.net. You can catch every video.

It's called Balls Taps. Ball Taps. Yeah, Ball Taps was the first one. Yeah. Talking about smacking the balls of new New Yorkers. Yeah, new New Yorkers to the neighborhood. Yeah. We're going to take you to our history hyena animal video of the day.

Yeah. This is a good one. Oh, yeah. This one has actually kept me up at night. Yeah. Now, this one, I bet you a lot of people have seen this one because this one is fucking brutal. Now, chimpanzees are our closest relative. Yeah.

For sure. Yeah. We share something like 99 point something percent of the same DNA. Chimpanzees, for the most part, for the most part, vegetarians. Veggies. But once in a while, they get fucking human-like brutal. And this is a video of chimpanzees fucking eating one of their own. Jesus Christ.

Disgusting. Yeah. These calls announce the start of a raid into land controlled by their neighbors. Yeah, they get a little territorial. This is like if kids were coming from Bensonhurst to try to take over Bay Ridge, say Rich. As they leave their core zone,

the patrol comes silent, occasionally stopping them to listen. Yo, it's an invading army of chimps. Signs of the enemy are detected and examined closely. Wow, it's about to fucking go down, Planet of the Apes style. Yeah. So you got one. Oh, they're smelling. Yo, they're so human-like. Look at them. They're like smelling the trail.

Trying to see like... The chimp militia are now at the very edge of their territory. Wow, so they're going to... All need to be on maximum alert. Yeah, they're going to a rival fucking chimp. What do they call them? Clans or whatever. Family.

They must wait and listen. Holy shit. These guys are up to no good. Yeah. They're up to no good. Something bad's about that. Look at that guy's eye. Holy shit. One chimp has one eye. Yeah, if you're somebody

who doesn't think we derive from chimps, you're a fucking idiot. They look exactly like us. I mean, we are of clear derivatives of them. Look at their ears and nose and mouth.

An unfamiliar chimp called racist. You're probably fucking a wop to get a blowjob from a chimp. It's a nice lift to get a blowjob from a chimp.

The size of the rival group. A lot of gums. Yeah. Look at when they stand up like that. Look at that. Legit humans. Not far away, their neighbors are feeding in a fig tree. Yeah, these guys look-

Oblivious to the approaching dangers. These guys don't look as rough and rowdy as the other guys. The patrol moves off. Fuck. With a sense of purpose. Y'all get nervous. They're going to get fucked up right now. It's about to get fucking bad.

They move like, truly move like an army. Yeah. Like they truly, they're in formation right now. Yeah. God, there's a lot of them too. Would they hurt us if we were there? Oh shit! The attack is on.

Oh shit! To intimidate their opponents, the aggressors scream and drum on buttress roots. Yo, this is brutal. Oh, fuck. Yo, it's just a plain-on fight. They're chasing them up the trees. Oh, shit! They're going to catch one.

Several males corner an enemy female. It's a ferocious attack, and she's lucky to escape it. She escaped. Oh, she got it. Oh, go, go, go. Yo, this is hard to watch. Yo, nature is fucking brutes. We're brutes.

Oh, one just fell from a tree about 40 feet. Yeah, they're gonna get him. Others are not so fortunate. Oh, God. It gets wild. The battle won a grizzly scene. Holy shit. They ripped its face off.

They're eating its face. An enemy youngster has been caught and killed. The carcass is shared between members of the group. See that? That's its head. Holy shit. Oh, my God. They're eating a fucking chimp's head. Killing a competitor makes sense if you want to protect your food supply.

But that's not this. No, that was its face. But exactly why they cannibalized the dead chimp is not fully understood. Nah, they just do it to fucking eat meat. It may simply be a chance for some extra protein. Yeah. Holy shit.

Yeah, so that's real life, folks. That's nature, okay? So that's what it is. It's not, you know, it's not, you know, nature has a way of weeding things out okay so it's like that's what really goes on yeah you want to be fucking upset about something be upset about that there's plenty of things to complain about for sure but you know you never hear people just appreciating it's how people always complain it's like just be appreciative that there's not

a rival clan is that what you call them? Of chimps? Community. Community. Oh, they're community. Well, that's not a nice community right there. Cosmunity. One of them was eating like figs and shit in the other community. Like their eyes were gone and shit.

Yeah, it was a bad community. Yeah, they lived in a bad neighborhood, those chimps. Because they came over there. Those other chimps were eating berries in the trees. And the ones that were coming over were up to no good. And they cornered one. and then they ate him. Fucking brutal. And chimps don't usually do that. Just once in a blue moon,

they turn dark. Wow. So that's kind of what it is. That was our nature video of the week and now it's time to read aloud the new members of the Matriarch. Congratulations. You guys have decided to go to patreon.com

slash bayridge boys and join our hyena clan and be part of the matriarch and we appreciate that and we give you the PPS pseudo penis salute pseudo penis salute okay so number one we got a talent kid right here, Robbie D'Angelo.

Yo, Robbie D'Angelo, how you doing? You got Spagotto Sunday. Yeah. And then next one we have, might be an Italian kid or a Spanish kid, Adaro. A-D-E-R-O. Adaro. That could go either way. Either way, borrow trash.

Borrow trash. Welcome to the trash can. Absolutely. Borrow trash. Borrow trash. Welcome to the trash can. Absolutely. This next guy was actually the, let me see.

Hold on. Let me do the math in my head. And then this guy, he was actually the 42nd president of the United States. It's Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton joined? Bill Clinton has joined our Patreon page. Wow. Yeah. He's got Bill Clinton.

Yeah, a lot of downtime now. Yeah. Yeah, that could be the actual Bill fucking Clinton. Yeah, it's Bill Clinton. He could be a fan. Bill Clinton has joined patreon.com slash bigrichboys. Now we got an Irish woman over here. Maddie Murphy.

Maddie Murphy, how are you? How are you? Yeah, I'll go into the bar here. Maddie Murphy. Maddie Murphy, how are you? How are you? You're going to the bar later. Oh, wow. Now we got a senor, Hector LeBron Jr. Whippa, whippa, whippa, whippa. And then this one could be, now this next lady, she could be a wasp. She could be an African American.

She could be a white girl from Syosset. She could be a wasp uh she could be um an african-american uh-huh she could be a white girl from syosset she could be anybody her name is laura desmond laura desmond yeah it could be anything laura desmond she sounds like a that sounds like that's a school teacher's name yeah miss des i'm sorry miss desmond you know yeah yeah desmond and that's it and those are those are those are our patreon members for the week so thank you so much for your support, for being loyal fucking wild hyenas. We love you all. And yeah. And just a shout out, Max Ostrowski.

We gave him a little shit because we thought that he was quitting and then rejoining and rejoining. What did he say, though? Well, you know what he did? What? He upped his pledge. Yeah. I think that kid's all the way up into the 20s. Thank you, Max Attack.

We appreciate it. You're a fucking true blue pseudo-penis of the week for that. Yeah, you're a PPS. We give you the pseudo-penis salute. Hello, hello. Hello, hello. And if you want to check out any of our stand-up dates, you can go to chrisdcomedy.com. I got dates coming up.

And what? GiannisPappas.net. GiannisPappedy.com. I got dates coming up and what, janispapas.net. Janispapas.net. Follow us on Twitter and definitely follow the Bay Ridge Boys Instagram page. It is fucking going wild. Wow. Take a picture of yourselves drinking smoothies so you can win a chance to be our cutie with smoothie of the week, which is our CWSOW.

You are fucking Chris Dispectron. C-SWOW. SOW. You are fucking Chris Dispectron. And our Patreon only episode this week is going to be a quick little talk and chat about the history of Detroit, Michigan. Yeah. Fucking wild. Peace out. ស្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.