History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 25 - The Salem Witch Hunt was WILD!

Episode Date: July 29, 2018

Chris is solo as Yannis still wanders the plains. Soul Joel joins us for a truly WILD episode!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay. You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys presents History Hyenas. This is Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy Bitchips, a.k.a. Chrissy Pseudotit, a.k.a. Big Fat Gay Chris. And today there's no Giannis. Freddy Fettichese is actually taking his mom to the dentist. You've heard him mention his mom before and the fact that she has Alzheimer's because he tries to, you know, he likes to talk about personal things in public because he's a psychopath. And, you know, and I really and, you know, I think to be honest with you, I think he's in the he's got the beginning stages of dementia and Alzheimer's because he forgets that he says talks about it and then gets mad at people when they mention it. And we're like, well, you talked about it last week. So he's up there taking his mom to dance because he's a good kid um he's still

traveling around every day looking for his butt he has no butt he's just got a concave ass um and uh yeah he's a greek kid bad and uh he's he's he put on 10 pounds because he quit snooze last week so he put on weight so he's unrecognizable at the moment he's uh he just looks like a you know just a walking fat ball of spanakopita just sweating oregano oil and um but he's a good kid we love him uh since he stopped having the snooze um the positives are that his breath smells better because he used to have snooze breath 24-7. He probably won't get mouth cancer immediately, but probably still will at some point. And he's just overall more present. He is going through a lot of withdrawals. He's having nightmares and night terrors,

which I told him that it's just dream association. When you stop an addiction, when you try to get control of it, night terrors are extremely common because the thing that you were suppressing and kind of masking with your addiction is now gone. So it comes out in your dreams. And that's called dream association. That's from the great Sigmund Freud, who, you know, was the great psychologist from Vienna, Austria, which is supposedly the most beautiful city in the world. And he used to do coke and talk to his patients. And that's the truth. He used to just rip lines.

And then he came up with, you know, alter ego, the id, the subconscious, the ego. It's fucking wild. He was a wild man. We haven't done an episode on him yet because Giannis doesn't like Jewish people. But we will soon enough. That was a joke, obviously. Okay? I was kidding.

Giannis and I love all races religion creeds and colors okay i know it's 2018 and you can sample what i just said and if janice and i when janice i get to the next level somebody will probably tweet it out what horrible people we are we'll have to clarify that was all jokes but we will not apologize because it was just joking and comedy is still alive and well and you can't take our words okay and i got news for you i'm almost at a hundred thousand dollars in my bank account where i can finally get the clitoris that i've always wanted i'm going to go through with this exchange and it's going to be something that's going to be great i'm going to take the elbow i'm going to take skin from my elbow and from my thighs

and just go clit and you can call call me Chrissy Clit from now on. We got Trash Monkey the Hyena is here. We got our doll, Trash Monkey the Hyena, TMTH, who's dead from the heat. It's 95 degrees out in New York, mad humid. Zach Isis is here. Zach Isis has been here for an hour. So that's concerning. Zach, you sweating today?

I'm used to the heat. Your beard grew back. I haven't been here on, I haven't been here the last two weeks cause I've been traveling and your beard grew back very quickly. What's the reason? Good genetics. You know the reason. You do have good genetics.

Well, yeah, Zach, um, you know, for our first time listeners, Zach, uh, we don't know his last name. We don't know anything about him other than the fact that he looks like he's an ISIS and most likely is an ISIS. And we watch the news religiously each day. Anytime we see a terrorist attack, we just assume Zach was involved. And, you know, the FBI, soon enough, will be listening to this

podcast and it is what it is. If you guys, wherever you're consuming this, on iTunes, on fucking Spotify, on riotcast.com, wherever you guys are consuming this, first and foremost, me and Freddy Fettichese, aka Giannis Pappas, aka Giannis Nobut,

want to say thank you for your service, and thank you for your support. If you would like to be part of the matriarch and get a lot more things, a lot more things that we have to offer, go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys and join the matriarch and donate whatever you want, a buck, two that we have to offer, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and join the matriarch and donate whatever you want. A buck, two bucks, five bucks, whatever. You get

t-shirts, you get podcasts, you get access to us, you know, whatever. You're just a part of our crew and you're pushing us up out of the Serengeti and potentially into your homes where we can eat you and your children. And that's what hyenas do i was watching uh planet earth the other day planet earth 2 and there was an episode about uh animals and cities and there's a town in ethiopia i shit you not that has wild hyenas that come you've seen this zach yeah yeah that's That's fucking wild. Where the hyenas and the clans of 40 to 60 hyenas try to dominate each other and try to take over the land so they can get access to the humans in the village. Where when they walk through that hole in the fucking wall, they are not wild hyenas anymore. They are tame, tame domesticated wildlife that knows that they want to get bones. wildlife that knows that they want to get bones, that the people of that village in Ethiopia give them bones because hyenas are the only animals strong enough, have the only

jaws powerful enough to crush those bones and eat them and consume them and they throw them up and then eat their own vomit. And there's even a practice that's 400 years old where certain men get like, you know, they believe that they are like kind of mythical creatures, hyenas, and they feed the meat from their hand. They actually feed them pieces of raw meat from their hand because they believe that the hyenas eat the evil spirits of the town away. So that's fucking wild. Okay. And that's kind of who we are.

Yannis and I, we're magical hyenas. We have pseudo penises and we try to give birth to new historical ideas. Now, since Yannis is in here because he took his mom to the dentist, and I believe that. I believe him that that's what he's doing. I don't believe that he is consulting a plastic surgeon to get tits. I don't believe that. There's a part of me that thinks that, but I do want to believe that he actually is, in fact, just going to take his mom to the dentist because he's a good kid who just wants tits. biggest mom to dentists because he's a good kid who just wants tits and you know maybe throughout the course of this podcast throughout the course of our career here um as being history hyenas

maybe at some point we can raise enough money where we can give you honest the two gifts that he wants and that's a left and right female breast um sitting across from me is a surprise i mean a surprise guest some of you guys may know him some of you guys may not he is let me just give a little background of this guy first of all first of all he's when i tell i want to keep in mind i'm going to tell you his full name but then i want to keep in mind that he is a white kid from new jersey okay so first so he was one of the first guys to ever uh put me on stage doing comedy i remember i did did the Staten Island Comedy Festival, which lasted about 10 minutes because it was in Staten Island.

And it was – I forgot where it was, but I remember it was the first time I ever saw Vic DiBattetto. Now, a lot of you guys have seen Vic DiBattetto now because he's gotten really famous over the past few years. He's the bread and milk guy on the internet, if you don't know. Now he's just touring wherever he goes, and you've probably seen him a lot. But I saw him, this was eight years ago when he was already doing comedy for about 30 years and I was blown away by him and he was the headline of the Staten Island Comedy Festival. And this guy who I'm about to mention,

he used me a lot in comedy. He would put me up at all his comedy shows in South Jersey, Philly, the Looney Bin on Staten Island. And he's an old friend of Day One, a Day One, you know, N as the kids say. I won't say that, but you know what it is. Day One, N. And he, to be honest with you, Giannis and I forgot that we even booked him on the podcast today we totally forgot and

when Giannis didn't show up we got a text to our group chat that Giannis and I have that this man texted said we're outside he's outside and I was like wow, completely fucking forgot that he was even coming so Giannis doesn't show up

and then by some miracle the man who's always been there from day one was there for me again ladies and gentlemen mr soul joel richardson is on the podcast today welcome welcome that was that was quite an it was a roller coaster of a of an intro yes it was a lot it was ups downs yeah now soul joel richardson Richardson is one of the – he books comedy shows all over. You've got to check out a Sol Joel Richardson show. They're always a good time. It's always a good time with Sol Joel.

Sol Joel, he is obsessed with his cell phone. He will drive upwards of 100 miles an hour texting, has never gotten to an accident, never hit anyone. So thank God for that. He has an addictive personality like yannis and i have addictive personalities personalities uh soul is addicted to fried food and cougars so what soul soul joel gets he like if you are a woman over the ages of 65 if you're 65 and over just just know that jo Joel wants to get in that geriatric ass.

And it's something that's beautiful that Giannis and I talk about. That's just Joel is just pick up and go. If you have a dried out postmenopausal vagina, Sol Joel is your man. So if you're listening, so for our older ladies who are listening to this, or older gentlemen, you know, I don't think Joel discriminates, hit up Sol Joel, Sol Joel Richardson Richardson because he's the guy for you. And he's also wearing a salmon colored shirt right now. And Soul Joel, by the way, you are a guy who you're in good shape.

You were fluctuating but now you're in good shape. I used to call you Kung Fu Panda. I was waiting for that. Yes. I used to call you Kung Fu Panda because you reminded me of him because you are a martial artist um you made me go watch that cartoon yes you gave me homework yes because um you're one of those guys who uh who's just you're fun you're fun to be around and uh and yeah man i think you look good right now and i think that um first of all do you have a show tonight where can where can people see you tonight because you normally have show if it's an obscure

town in new jersey or pennsylvania soul joel's doing a show tonight? Where can people see you tonight? Because you normally have shows. If it's an obscure town in New Jersey or Pennsylvania, Soul Joel's doing a show there, which I fucking appreciate. Thank you, man. Yes, dude. So do you have any shows coming up or tonight? Giannis calls it ninja training. Ninja training.

I put them in different venues, different audiences. I've never once in my life ever went to a Soul Joel Richardson show and not had a good time during the show, after the show, before the show,

there's always been something that's happened that's always been positive. I, like what we just did, Giannis and I did, this is- Stone Harbor. A month ago, Stone Harbor.

And Giannis said, I want to buy Beach House there now because we had such a good time with you. It was a comedy show inside a movie theater. The show was supposed to start at eight o'clock. Giannis, Joel, and I

were eating our food at 8.05. And one of the waitresses came up to Soljo and was like, hey, I think the show that you run is supposed to be starting while we were stuffing onion rings in our face on CougarLife.com. You and Giannis were debating on which other appetizer to order. Yes. So, yeah. So Soljo, see, and if the camera's on he's looking at his phone right now he cannot no Sol I want you to be in your element

he can't not look at the phone for more than three seconds it's actually 10 out of 10 hilarious and if Giannis was here he would 100% be saying something to him about it now Joel I want you to know I know you've listened to podcasts I appreciate it do you know about spotted hyenas and do you know about the pseudo penis and do you know about their origin and what do you know about hyenas well last week

uh yannis talked about them being the cougar um of interesting it what was his what what he talked he talked about uh them being like uh the math teacher uh trying to have sex with their students interesting wow i didn't listen to last week's podcast. Okay. Well, the context was because female hyenas, because they have such a high position, they can choose whoever they want, and they tend to choose the younger male cubs.

Wow. Okay. Which I thought was perfect for me. That is. Okay. So there you go. So you fit into the major arc seamlessly. So to all the female hyena listeners,

Female hyena listeners, I'm your guy. So not only the originalriarch seamlessly so to all the female hyena listeners female hyena listeners I'm your guy so not only the original well first of all we said I see that's new information they are cougars and they're also the original chicks with dicks

they're the original transgenders is are hyenas because you know they have the women have pseudo penises so they're original chicks with dicks

so they're fascinating animals to us as you are a fascinating animal to us, Joel. Great segue. Yes. And yeah, man, I'm happy you're here, dude. It's fun. It's fun to do podcasts alone, but it's a lot more fun, a lot better to do podcasts with people I love.

And Joel, you're someone I love. Well, it's interesting to see your growth, man. You're doing unbelievable to right and you're following and everything to follow your career so uh last time we're hanging out at the valley forge casino i i got to sit back and watch yes your fandom yeah so it was a puerto rican girl and a black girl saw you and go where do we know you from yeah and i sat back normally i would like interject myself. Right. And then go through your resume.

Yeah. But I wanted to watch you do it. And they're like, he's like, you're like, I just have that face. They're like, no, we definitely know you. And you're like, I don't know. And they're like,

aren't you a bartender around here? You're like, definitely not. That always happens to me. You're like, I got that face where people know they know me, but they don't know what. But see, and it's interesting because that was just a few months ago. But now, like if that happened to me today,

I would just say, yeah, I'm a bart interesting because that was just a few months ago but now like if that happened to me today i would just say yeah i'm a bartender i'm just a bartender because now because it's got to the point recently where it's been like i get noticed a good a good fair amount and nobody knows where they know me from and it's embarrassing for me and it's not embarrassing but it's just like because i'm the one that lives in my skin i'm just like you know what whatever they guess i'm going to say yes to and let them figure it out. It's a new game. It's a new game because it's like, I can't because then you sound like an asshole if you just start listing the things you've done. It's like, if you don't know where you know me from, that's fine. That's totally fine. It's so many people who are on TV and podcasts and YouTube and it's so saturated. So I get that, you know,

I'm a face that just blends into the million other faces, but I used to just be like, oh, this, this, this, or this. And then it's like, it's all, and then, cause most of the time they're like, that's not it. I'm like, well, that has to be it. We're in fucking Iowa. I've never been here before. It's gotta be one of the things on television. I've never come to your town, but you know, like this week I was in Dallas, Texas. You ever go to Dallas, Texas? Yes. Dude yes dude first of all it was 115 degrees there 115 so it that when it gets that hot out of nowhere it has to make me question that the simulators or god whoever you believe in you did something the people good people of dallas texas did something to piss them off because there's no reason whomever is in control of the weather which i don't know could could be Jewish people, could not be.

It's up to you guys to decide. Whoever is in control of the weather turned up the heat so much on that fucking city. It was wild. It was fucking wild. Me and the great Sergio Chacon. I was going to say, I saw you were down there with Sergio. Yeah, I was down there with Sergio Chacon, Puerto Rican bobblehead. He was probably not liking the weather either. I saw you were down there with Sergio. Yeah, I was down there with Sergio Chacon, Puerto Rican bobblehead. He –

He was probably not liking the weather either. He didn't like the weather, but at least he's in great shape and he's taking his shirt off a lot. First of all, Sergio wears shirts that are too small where he should just not even be wearing a shirt. Like he was wearing a size small shirt. He's almost 40 years old, has a wife and child. You shouldn't be wearing a small. You can't wear a small. I don't care how small you actually are.

You can't wear – you have to at least wear a medium if you're a grown man with family or if you're just a grown man. And Puerto Rican in Texas probably intimidating the people. Yeah, it didn't work. But there were people who came to my comedy show, which by the way, if you're in the Dallas area or in the Texas area, go check out the the addison improv it is was a great club i had a great time the people were great the crowds were fantastic like truly fucking great so go check that out it really truly is a great room you know i mean i don't promote fucking rooms and it is it really was just a great great room great staff you'd have a great time in there addison improv dallas texas um but there were people in the show who after they saw me perform were like where do I know you from and I was like probably five minutes ago shut up I was on stage

no but this one this isn't what I'm saying how checked out human beings are right now they're so checked out I can't tell you how many times I'm the headliner of a show and somebody will come up to me after the show and quote that this joke was their favorite joke and it wasn't my joke. It was the guy before me's joke. That's what I don't get. No matter what show it is. And as a producer, I hear a different perspective from people. Right. And they're always like, yeah, that was the joke.

And then they can't even remember which one of the three comedians. No. But even furthermore, in Dallas, this happened, I told you a couple times, people were like, I don't wear, because it was like, maybe like 20 minutes after the show had ended, and there was a bar right next door. And there were people in that bar, and granted, they were drinking, but just from seeing me 20 minutes ago, they didn't remember where they knew me from. They just said my face looked familiar.

And I'm like, were you at the comedy show? They were like, yeah. Oh, you were on stage. It's like, so so it's such a disconnect and nobody fucking really cares at all and i think the people who understand that nobody cares i think the bronx tale great movie and chas palminteri in that movie he says it was just on yesterday in the new york area was on they played like five times he said best advice i can give you, kid, nobody cares. And I think that that's true. I think that it's not, and that's not like a fatalistic attitude for me. I still want to be great in life and do a lot of things, but I understand that nobody cares. So I don't really get too high or too low. I'm in the middle

all the time. I know if I care, then that's good enough because genuinely nobody gives a shit, you know? And it is what it is, Joel. But you know what? Your presence is positive. You're a handsome kid. You got a cute face. And I want to stay in your summer home in South New Jersey. I want to stay there with you.

I'm going to Cape May, New Jersey next week. Did any of the sites that I sent you help? They did help, but unfortunately I didn't book any of them because I'm a piece of garbage. And I didn't listen to you when I should have fucking listened to you. You got something else last minute? I got something else last minute. I got a hotel in Cape May. Cape May is nice, right?

Is Cape May nice? It's beautiful. Yeah? But there's not enough older women there for you. No, there is. Is there a senior citizen home there? Cuz, do you know about the Salem Witch Trials? What do you know about the Salem Witch Trials I mean what do you know about the Salem witch

trials Joel up in Massachusetts Salem Massachusetts good what else do you know it's uh like it's like witchcraft and yeah so basically Salem witch trials Salem Massachusetts we weren't what I want people to understand about the Salem witch trials is we this wasn't a unique American idea. They were doing this shit in Paris before that and after. So we, just as humans, our minds kind of evolve generation by generation. So just 400 years ago, there were millions of people, not millions of people died, thousands of people died, but millions of people who collectively shared the idea that there were women in this world who were fucking witches. Who could institute witchcraft on you and your children and take your souls from your body. That was just 400 years ago.

The King Louis of France and even as known as Benjamin Franklin had advisors that believed that certain things had to do with witchcraft. So now we would look at that and say, what the fuck? What the fuck is happening? Why would you think that? Why would you kill someone because you think they're a witch? It's absurd. It's absurd. So Salem Witch Trials, again, this was, I think it was, what was it?

What year was it, Zach? 1692? No, hold on. I got this. It was, yeah, this was, I think it was, what was it? What year was it, Zach? 1692? No, hold on. I got this. It was, yeah, 1692, right? 1692, it started here in America when just a group of young girls in Salem Village, Massachusetts claimed, they actually claimed to be possessed by the devil. And they accused several local women of witchcraft so these girls were probably fucking doing something they weren't supposed to be doing you know got caught with their hand on somebody's dick you know fucking or they were some they were getting fingered through their corset which by the

way to finger a girl in the 1600s took about an hour you had a lot of shit to get through you had a lot of bush to get through you had a lot of fucking needles and corsets and bundle bags and all that shit there was no skirts there was no skirts and you know what's interesting joel for you the your kind of woman wasn't even around at that time you were very red they were dead so a cougar to you would have to be a 21 year old would you be able to live like that in the in the colonial world if the oldest puss puss you could get would be 25 yeah well janice actually thinks eventually i'm gonna i'm gonna flip yeah eventually i'll have to start dating younger and go full pedophilia what does he think no no okay okay we're unsure let's relax

um sold over to everybody not a pedophile um so what happened is is that was in the spring of 1692 these girls accused blah blah blah blah and then it becomes mass hysteria by like the winter of 1692 in salem it's truly fucking mass hysteria where one out of five women are being accused of witchcraft and the fucking there was no very bullshit trials it was bullshit trials it um they were just like yeah you're a witch one thing that they would do which i always thought was so interesting they would you were fucked either way so they would say here's the ultimatum you would get they would say okay if you're not a witch this is the fucking device of thinking they had they said if you're not a witch we're gonna tape these we're

gonna tie rocks around your ankles throw you in the pond if you sink to the bottom you're not a witch that was option b that would get no no no no oh that was the test this is the test if you sink to the bottom and die you're not a witch if you somehow are able to float you're a witch and when you come out of the water we're going to tie you to a piece of wood and set you on fire either way you're dead either way you're dead so it was it's so absurd they would press people to death you know what pressing is they would literally lay you in between two wooden panels like a fucking s'mores and just put rocks on you one after the other until they squash you to death there was this guy his name was giles cory he was he was interesting because he at first

was persecuting people for being witches and then he himself they persecuted him for being a warlock and he i remember watching a video on him as a kid and i remember he was pressed to death and i remember as a kid i would be scared at night to go brush my teeth because i thought giles cory was being pressed to death outside my bedroom but it really was my mom just having sex um so because she was a single mom and it is what it is but the salem witch trials i like it because i thought it was very interesting because it's like for me the historical aspect of it is great and salem as a city is fucking dope it's by the water it's beautiful the salem witch museum you ever go to salem witch museums no never i've

been to boston but i've never why don't we do a soul joel productions comedy show halloween time in salem what about that sounds great halloween comedy show at fucking at in Salem, Massachusetts with Soul Joel Productions. It's coming. That's going to happen. SJP. What I love about it all is that, you know, the evolution of the mind is fascinating to me. It's like because it makes me think like, what are we doing today in present day America in 2018? the mind is fascinating to me it's like because it makes me think like what are we doing today in present day america in 2018 what are we doing today that 200 years from now we'll look at and

be like what the fuck were we thinking like it would be so skinny jeans you think that you think that's you think that's that's the same as tying people to pieces of wood and letting them on fire skinny jeans that actually could be it i maybe a little different but it's no but it's true it's like you know it's fucking because it's like there's things that are happening today where you're like wow that's gonna be like even like airplanes like i wonder if like 200 years from now people are gonna be like remember when people used to sit fucking with their knees scrunched together eating peanuts for 15 hours going across the ocean on an airplane even though it's the best

way to travel now i wonder if like 100 years from now people be like what the fuck we just teleport ourselves yeah well um toll collectors okay they're starting to get you know it's all easy pass like there's places even if you don't have easy pass they just take a picture of your license plate and send you a ticket in the mail do you still have an easy pass joel i do you do i mean do you uh you have an easy pass i have an easy that's good i have a friend uh pat finnegan the great pat finnegan i have four friends named pat finnegan i've got pat finnegan when he gets drunk his way of impressing girls is whispering in their ear that he has an easy pass and they think that that's some kind of like you know kind of thing in agalus to his dick but it's not he's

just telling them like look you don't have to pay for tolls when you're with me and that's kind of dirtbags i hang out with um yeah but dude the salem witch trials were fucking i mean it was just one of those things where it's terrifying because i mean first of all imagine being burned to death at the stake you could you do it no a few years ago would take you a while to burn jo Joel. You had some weight on you. But now you don't. Now you've lost it. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and you're

a fucking sexy guy. And I want to see what's under those shorts. By the way, for the people, you can only see him if you're watching this on Vimeo.

You can only see from the waist up. Joel is, in fact, wearing flip-flops. And we said before that if Giannis Pompous was here, he would have said something about that,

but I'm here to tell you, Joel, that although it's almost 100 degrees out in New York City and you're a beach kid, I don't want to see man's feet. It's disgusting. Oh, so you agree with Yannis? 100%. I have on four pairs of socks right now

just in case I bust a hole through my sneaker. You won't see my toes. And now that your feet are out, I can actually feel your toes on my shoulder. It's and it's freaking you out a little it's freaking me out and to be honest with you if this was 1692 i'd say you're a fucking witch for having your feet out that's what i do it was the night that you guys came down to stone harbor but you know janice was still in new york he took a picture of some guy that had a rainbow like sandal okay and it was just the caption was absolutely fucking not not that's funny that's a funny caption absolutely if not um yeah guys patreon.com slash bay ridge boys want to be part of the matriarch if you want to listen to us also

comedy are uh you know if you want to just watch yannis pappas and i do our stand-up alone or together i'm chrisdcomedy.com and yice is janice poppins.net because he's too cheap to buy.com um i saw you guys gonna be at the uh the brigada coming up together we're gonna be at the brigada august 5th to the 9th in atlantic city new jersey we're gonna you're gonna come joel yeah it's not too far you're gonna come to a show yeah yeah fuck yeah dude and then we're gonna jet ski what do you want to do that sounds good yeah dude you, dude, you're going to bring flip-flops? Well, yeah. I said I'm going to be there.

I'm also going to be, if this comes, I don't know when this is coming out. I'll probably have just come back from there. But I was at the Montreal Comedy Festival just for laughs, which was July 26th to the 28th. It was a good time. Joel never showed up. Why didn't you come to the Montreal Comedy Festival, Joel? Every year I said I'm going to go and I got to get up there. What are you doing? What are you doing that you can't come this year?

I mean, I just got some shows. Where? In New Jersey? Yeah, every Friday night at the Valley Forge Casino. And Saturday I got two different shows, one in Maryland and one in Connecticut. If you had to, if you had to, because I mean the listeners know and we all know that you've had sex with a lot of women at the Valley Forge Casino. If you had to guess their median age what would you say it is right now now take a mind maybe you got lucky you got a 21 year old but I know for a fact you had sex with

an 80 year old so tell me what would you say mathematically is the median age of those women 48 wow 48 guys 48 now look to be honest with you there's a lot of and i think zach even in even you've taken the under i would have taken the under okay yeah i i shot a little older because i figured that you were gonna call call if i said anything less then no i was gonna guess 53 was gonna be my guess now you're just playing head games i was gonna guess 53 because i think that that actually is the right answer, is 53. But you want to say 48? Whatever. Zach,

even in, I think a 48 year old, though, is still pretty prime. What do you think? It depends on a lot of that. Can they work the field? Can they cook? It depends on somewhat. Usually, age and experience go hand in hand. Go hand in hand. Right. See, that's interesting, because I like, I used to, before I had a child of my own,

I used to look at a woman who had kids and I would be very intimidated by that because I would feel very inferior to that woman and be like, oh my God, she has this connection with her kids. She's never going to have the connection with me. But now that I have a child, the hottest thing in the world is when a woman has kids and is a good mom for some reason. I don't know what it is. Do you guys feel that way? That guy's not having children? How do you feel about a woman has kids and is a good mom for some reason. Really? I don't know what it is. Do you guys feel that way?

That guy's not having children? How do you feel about a woman with kids, Joel? Doesn't bother me. You don't care at all? Go either way. What about you, Zach? MILFs are a plus. MILFs are a plus.

Okay. So if you started to like, I'm talking about fall in love with one of these women, you wouldn't feel weird. Like say the father was still in the picture of one of the kids. You guys wouldn't feel weird? I've had that happen. You don't feel like she has this connection with this guy and it makes you feel insecure sometimes you've felt that before i've had that yeah see when i felt that i was feeling

that when my with my kids moms because when i first met my kid's mom um you know i liked her so much right off the bat i was fucking loved her so much and then she had a kid when i found out she had a kid i was like devastated even though like you know right now of course i love my stepson but i was devastated because the father was still in the picture so i felt like i felt extremely inferior the connection i felt was extremely inferior uh i felt extremely inferior to the connection that she had with her ex-baby daddy so what i did how i solved problems and then i just had a kid with her, which was fucking nuts. Just absolutely, just let it all fly one day. You saw the connection and you raised it. Yeah. I said, you know what? Well, now I got this connection and this child for life. So that's how I,

that's how my brain works. I just fire. You made me feel bad. I don't want to laugh at that. No, dude. Laugh. Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do. But it's interesting. It's, it's interesting now,'s interesting now getting older. And yeah, I just love a cougar now. I think no matter what, there's going to be a connection. You can't do anything about it. Whether it's good or whether it's bad, they have that kid that bonds them pretty much for life. Are you familiar with the website cougarlife.com?

Yes. Are you on it? Are you a member of it? I used to be. It's too many girls in Canada, right? It's all women from Toronto and Quebec. I haven't been on recently. I was one of the pioneers.

Right. I was on there about nine years ago. Did you get some? Yeah, of course. Yeah, and it worked out? Yeah, but then I was dating a girl that actually catfished me. She was like baiting me.

She was like, well, it was an ex that was trying just to get me she knew i was on there and created fake profiles to to bait me so see here's the thing here's what you and i have a comment you attract a chaotic woman as well you like a little you like you don't like if she's like you know good girl went to school as a school teacher comes from a great family that's a turnoff for you i sense crazy i want to tell you my name that's it that's what it is. I kind of only will consider you if you have tattoos on your tits.

That's the only way I consider you as a potential mate is if you tat it up, if you got a tit tat. So that's what it is. Now do you think you get that from your father? I want to say yes, but I don't know because my dad, he had a tumultuous relationship with my mom that ended quickly, but he's been married to my stepmom for 31 years really 31 years i didn't know that yes that's a long fucking time well i mean that's one of the three women he used to come to the loony bin with well i've known yes

well i've known joel for 10 years and i'm pretty sure he doesn't know who my mother is you i don't know i never met your mom met your dad several times you met my dad but and you met his wife who i think you thought was my mom for a long time yes yes but that's just you know i'm not which i fucking love see the thing is with joel and i we we go back i mean joel you saw me like day 10 into comedy backpack backpack yeah yep i was fucking just looking for some stage time what did you think of me when you first met me let's be honest honest. You're very funny. Yeah. You had a game plan and very smart because you're a physical therapist.

Yes. So I knew that you would do well no matter what you chose to do in life. You knew that. Wow. Fucking great, dude. I could sense when I first met you that if you met my mom, you want to have sex with her. That's what I could sense about you. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so that's why I kept my mom away because I was like, Joel's going to fall in love with my mom. My mom's going to fall in love with Joel. Well, you actually – but see, here's the weird thing. You told me that one time. There was like a picture of you and I. You're like, my mom thinks you're hot and so does my aunt. Yeah, they did. They love Joel.

They fucking all wanted a piece of Joel. I'm like, I don't know why you're telling me this. Dude, when you were the Kung Fu Panda panda body you were fucking still like you just people want to eat you up and tickle you and shit another great friend of ours uh mad dog matter james mad dog matter who still still works you still work with right i was with this weekend i was with this weekend see there's there's a cast of characters that we go fucking way back and joel i mean you've seen pete davidson i mean i mean who are some of the people who have went on to like explode now uh pete pete you yeah um

yannis yannis nate bargazzi nate bargazzi dan soda dan soda from billions all those guys all those guys on a uh on a showcase once yeah all these guys came from the soul joel school of comedy which is fucking yeah yeah i mean there's so many examples and you know because i think a lot of people you know like i'll get like random messages from people like hey why don't you do snl or why don't you do this but people don't understand how fucking hard stand-up comedy is people like oh i could just get up there and do it and maybe you can once or twice but to make it a career right it's really 95 of people i think

don't make it to the pinnacle yeah they don't make it they don't make a living at it you know and that's why i respect about what you and yannis are doing because i see you guys each simultaneously had good fan bases now you're bringing it to one yeah but you won't get knocked off because you're creating your own fan base with this patreon right right so you're not going to relate uh rely on different deals right other networks because you're creating your own fan base with this Patreon. Right, right. So you're not going to rely on different deals from other networks because you're doing it yourself. Now, do you have a Patreon, Souljolt Productions? I'm working on it.

Yeah, dude, you got to have one. Because people fucking support you, dude. Remember you used to do that show from New Jersey? Where was that show? Maybe you had a radio show. Where was that from? I used to call into it. Yeah, it was the Comedy Point.

I had it on AM FM radio down in South Jersey. The South Jersey Comedy Point. Yeah, man. And Mad Dog used to go down there every day, right AM FM radio down in South Jersey. The South Jersey comedy point. Yeah, man. And Mad Dog used to go down there every day, right? He would call in every week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call in. Yeah.

That was far from New York City, right? Was that two hours? Like an hour and a half, yeah. Where do you live right now? What town? I live in Palmyra right outside of, right near Cherry Hill right outside Philadelphia. Not far from where I grew up. Holy shit.

So you fucking, we're sitting in a studio in the of manhattan right now how it took you two hours to get here at least two hours yeah what if what if yannis because he took his mom to the dentist and because i forgot we forgot that you were coming what if we just wouldn't have shown up you know i actually had that thought because uh because um you didn't answer and then i could tell yannis sent me the voicemail. Like, you know what I mean? And I was like, uh-oh. But this is what I love about Souljaw is a normal human being with normal amounts of chemicals in their brain would have said, I am, before I drive from the city of Philadelphia to the city of New York,

Before I drive from the city of Philadelphia to the city of New York, I am going to confirm with Giannis and or Chris and call them and then confirm before I leave my house to do that. Joel sent the text. The first text we got from Joel today was, hey, I'm outside. So here's the thing. Two things. One, both my parents are in sales. Okay. So I come from that school of thought.

Why would I give you the opportunity to cancel on me? I already confirmed last week. Wow. Okay. So I'm not giving you the chance. We already confirmed last week. So you're calculated. You're a calculated kid.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Despite my demeanor and my outside appearance, I'm calculated. Yeah, you're calculated. Wow. So that's interesting then. But the other thing is I'm also not stupid so I I have other things to do here in New York right no offense this wasn't my only thing to do

so I try anytime I come to New York I have multiple you know things that's and and that's an entrepreneur mindset right there because you have multiple it's not you not to put it all you're not putting all your eggs in one basket yeah all the people the wealthy people who I know, like the really, truly people who got fucking money, it's not just one stream of revenue. They have five or six things going on. So just in case one of the things falls apart,

like Giannis and I don't show up for our own podcast, you are not fucked. You would just have to kill a couple of hours in New York City and you already have flip-flops on and cargo shorts. So you're built for this shit, and it's standard color shirt. It's funny you noticed there were cargo shorts. Yeah, you can walk around the West Village looking for dick in the ass. You're in the right place.

So, yeah, you would have been fine. Now, let me ask you this question. If that sales mentality where you said, why give you the chance to cancel what if you didn't have the comic strip podcast today would you have then confirmed before you made the truck out here then you would have confirmed yeah okay so then you would have given us a chance to cancel yeah and i was also with uh mark riccadonna who's doing uh serious xm so i think i saw him yeah what did he just walked out before you walked in what what were you doing with mark riccadonna so he's going to fuglesang up to do serious xm and then we're recording the podcast together with Richie Byrne after this.

Oh, so did you drive him in from New Jersey, Mark Riccadonna? Yeah. Nice. So where does he live in New Jersey? He lives in Ben Salem right outside Philadelphia. So he's another guy who travels from Philly area to New York every day. Not every day, like a couple times a month. Wow.

So, yeah. So how long would it take for you to get to Philadelphia? Same thing, two hours. It'll take you two hours to get to Philly or two hours to get to New York from where you live? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant from here. No, no, no.

No, 15 minutes from Philadelphia. Oh, so if you want to go to the city, you're going to Philly. Yeah. So you go to Philly how often? Yes, it's funny. When I hear I'm going to the city, I always think New york but down by me that people mean philly philly and when they say i'm going so they say they say the same thing

hoogie i'm going to philly to see i'm going home i'm going home yeah how often do you go to the city of philadelphia yeah a couple two or three times a week really so you're in there a lot what are you doing in philadelphia um just networking and you know trying to you know do my stuff down there so there's a whole scene. There's managers, agents, all that stuff that we have in New York. They have that in Philly too, but on a smaller scale. Much smaller scale. So there are entertainment managers and agents that base their whole business out of Philly.

Yeah. Right. Now, those people are probably in the mafia. Right? I mean, I would guess. Yeah. Joel fucking- They're in the cash business. Zach, how are you liking the mafia, right? I mean, I would guess, yeah. Yeah. Joel, fucking. They're in the cash business.

Zach, how do you like and sold Joel so far? I like the energy. I like the energy. Should we fire Giannis and replace him with Joel? I mean, the correct hyena thing to do would let them fight it out and see who comes back with both their ears. Yeah. I just got a text from Giannis. Yo, are you going wild with Joel?

Joel, are you there with him? Is his middle age hair getting wild? Should we call Giannis? You want to call Giannis? Let's call him. Okay, I'll call him on the phone. I can call him on the computer. I'll call him on the computer.

Well, ask him if he can answer first. Well, I say we just fucking call him. Yeah, yeah. Let's just blind sign. And then look, it gives Joel a chance to check his texts joel's a psycho dial him up right now okay sorry for the we just we got we're getting the honest on the phone we're sending dick pics out um yeah dude yeah fucking wild fucking wild fucking wild fucking wild um i've fucking fresh

circumcised cock if anybody's ever wondered about that i just want to let everyone know joel how many times have you seen my penis? Not zero. What? Oh, we got to change that, dude. Oh, here we go. We're calling Giannis. Here we go. Giannis' ringtone is a fucking... Let's see. Here we go.

I guarantee you he's not going to answer the phone. Hello? Gianni. to you he's not going to answer the phone hello yanni yeah what's up cuz it's it's chrissy d and i got kung fu panda soul joel middle-aged hair on the phone uh what's up guys i can't talk right now unfortunately yeah no we figured out but we just we just wanted to call and just fucking tell you that we love you and that Joel is, we're all looking for your butt. Yo, you got a sexy voice on the phone. Thanks. Yeah, and it's low. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He can't talk.

Joel hasn't said anything. All right. Yeah, he hung up. Well, I figured he couldn't talk, so I didn't want to say anything. Yeah, he said he can't talk. Joel hasn't said anything. All right. Yeah, he hung up. Well, I figured he couldn't talk, so I didn't want to say anything. Yeah, he said he can't talk right now. So Giannis is getting married. Giannis is getting married. And we're going to have fun at the wedding.

I'm probably going to get so drunk at the wedding that I'll murder someone. James Matter wants to bring a Turkish girl out of spite. Yo! Giannis is a Greek kid and has beef with the turks and um do you know what he said to me over the weekend what he said he wants to find a turkish dating app and just put do you want to go with me to a greek wedding swipe right swipe right that's hilarious that's fucking hilarious because i went to him i go are you going to take someone goes, the wedding's not until next year, you psychopath. Right. And I'm like, well, I'm just making conversation. That's always a weird thing.

Even if you're not seeing someone, do you go solo or do you try to find a date? No. Well, you have to find someone. But what are you going to do? Are you going to take how old? How old are you going to go? So the question to me is not whether I'm taking a date or not. How old is the girl going to be?

Honestly, I'm going to place bets with Giannis that any date that you bring will have at least, at the very least, have had their hip replaced. You have sex with women. Here's the thing about Joel. He has sex with women that when the doctor is doing the surgery on them to give them new knees, new hips, new whatever, it's just assuming this woman's vagina will never penetrate again. But, oh, are they fucking wrong because they don't know soul jaw. Yeah. Giannis calls it charity work. Yeah.

Because I'm doing the world a service because I make girls feel like they haven't since the early 80s. Yes. Sexy. Yeah. That's what you do. Yeah. And it's fucking true. Dude, it's true.

It's true. the early 80s yes yes yeah that's how you do yeah and it's fucking true dude it's true and i i fucking like that you are not deterred by um you're not bound by these new rules of modernity you're not rule you you fucking don't you're like listen here's what it is i feel like you're being passive-aggressive i want to i want to have sex i want to have sex with people's grandmothers, and I know that a blowjob from a woman who takes her dentures out is better than anything an 18-year-old girl can do. And I appreciate that. Yeah. And I respect that about you. Now, that's never happened.

Allegedly. Allegedly, but you're giving me some great ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying never. Joel, now, do you still have your PTiser with soul joel comedy all over the windows and roofs i have a chevy equinox but it has soul joel productions on it i have to get that done still you have to get that done because that was fucking great what happened to the soul joel pt cruiser it uh died out yeah you took yeah soul joel yannis james mandog mattern would take you

guys i remember once in 14 states in two years in you guys, I remember once We did 14 states in two years. And I remember once you did, you drove from New York City to Florida. Yeah. Drove. Drove. How long was that? 18 hours. We did Boca Raton and then we did Savannah, Georgia. Boca Raton all the elderly communities. That was

prime. That's literally Honestly, that was a pure coincidence. Yeah, okay. And I'm really just Boca Raton is literally the capital of retirement communities and coincidentally that's literally honestly that was a pure coincidence yeah okay i'm really just yeah okay boca raton is literally the capital of retirement communities and coincidentally soul joel does a show there go ahead tour sponsored by trojans trojans yeah and inshore um so uh that we did savannah georgia and charleston south carolina i've heard savannah georgia is one of the most beautiful cities in this fucking country.

It's great. What do you like better, Savannah or Charleston? That's Coke and Pepsi. They both look and feel similar, right? Yep. A lot of haunted history in Savannah and Charleston. Yeah. It's impossible to go there right now.

It's July. It's too hot there. Yeah. And that's where Giannis actually got his ghost joke because he started talking to James, and James really believes in it. Yeah. And Giannis doesn't. Giannis does not. Well, I believe in ghosts.

Do you believe in ghosts? I believe in ghosts. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Do you believe in ghosts, Zach? What's your feeling? Yeah, I guess I do. Eh?

Or you do? Eh. Eh. I know, like, usually someone who's seen, like, the only experience I have is my grandma, who always sees ghosts, like, at least twice a week, so. Now, is she experiencing mental, like, is her brain deteriorating, or she's always been this way? She's always kind of been this way. Like, she lives in one of those houses in Tom's River, and one of the, you would love it with all the old people. And, like, she's had a priest do her house and stuff.

She's always been really into that, yeah. Interesting. But you've never seen anything. No, I've like heard shit fall and seen doors close. But I don't know if it's ghosts or just like the wind. Yeah. You don't fucking know. You don't know.

I always feel I don't know. Maybe ghosts exist. Maybe they don't. I do believe like when you die, your energy has to go somewhere. It's not all this energy and matter is not just going to go away. Like it has to go somewhere. Like I believe we have souls. I don't know where that goes or what happens, but I always, I'm the kind of guy, I don't necessarily think I'm going to see ghosts, but I feel freaked out.

Like if you turned all the lights off right now and had me sit here, I would get extremely uncomfortable very quick. Cause I would just like, my mind would convince me that like a wild animal is hiding in the wall and there's going to come out and attack my neck or you know a man with a shotgun is so it's it's a little absurd what do you get scared of joel i get scared of the dark you do can you sleep can you sleep alone in a house all the lights off can you can do that right now i still can't do that yeah well i'll have to have like some sort of like uh either like a like a radio like a podcast plan or something like that like some voices of like either like a radio, like a podcast plan or something like that, like some voices or like a TV. So you can't sleep at complete silence and complete darkness if you're home alone in

the house? Yeah, I don't do it. If someone's there, you can then? A lot easier. One, also because I'm such a good guy, I think that they could hear this and it might be keeping them up. Got it. That's how crazy.

So it's not, okay. So it's really, it's really, okay. But you're still scared. So my question is like when you're alone, first of all, can you walk into a house alone by yourself? No problem. Do you have to turn all the lights on immediately? Yeah, I mean a little bit of my background too. It's like I think if I get into a situation, I'll be okay.

Because you're a martial artist. Yeah, and I wrestled in college. So you feel like you can protect yourself, which helps you out a lot. So then what are you scared of? Is it the otherworldly stuff that you're a martial artist. Yeah, and I wrestled in college. So you feel like you can protect yourself, which helps you out a lot. Yeah. So then what are you scared of? Is it the otherworldly stuff that you're scared of? Ghosts, demons, poltergeists? I think it's the sneak attack.

Yeah, I get a sneak attack. The unknown. The Pearl Harbor. Now, the good thing about the women, you have to- He just names the biggest sneak attack in the history. Well, it's also a sex move. And the good thing about you is you, most of the women you have sex with don't have sensation in their bodies they're just so old that they don't even feel the cum and they just they don't know you're just

setting yourself up at this point absolutely i love it well done did you ever notice that yannis doesn't uh really have a butt no no no like he he doesn't really give detail you said he he talked a lot about details about his mom or stuff like that. But he does a lot of, cause he's, he's son of two lawyers. Two lawyers. He does a lot of interviewing. Cause I'm like,

Oh, I think about it. I'm like, Oh, it was so great catching up with Giannis last night. And I'm like, no, I realized he just asked a lot of questions to me.

The thing is, Giannis asked, Giannis has got two modes. Either he asks a lot of questions and doesn't really listen, or he just talks and doesn't let you talk. So it's one of two ways. So no way. Which one's showing up? Which one's showing up?

It's either interview fucking Anderson Cooper mode where he just wants to ask questions. Right. Lengthy Facebook posts. Or he just doesn't give you a minute to say anything and he just fucking fires rants at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's either you have liberal cock Giannis or Anderson Cooper Gian cooper yannis those are the only two yannis's you can have right so there's no in between so and now that he's not on snooze i mean it's another level of yannis that you've i mean it's it's fucking he rants and then interviews himself

about the rants it's just he's combined he's become anderson cooper and liberal cock all in the same rolled up in the same fucking Old Navy size medium t-shirt. And with your busy schedule, that's hard to keep up with. Absolutely. I mean I'm out here. I'm traveling. I'm going here. I'm going there.

And there's times where like I – here. Like I'll just – let me show you an example of like – there's times where like I can't – I don't look at my phone for whatever reason and then then I'll just, you know, I won't. 18 messages. 18. There's times when I get thousands and thousands and thousands of messages from him. Yeah, because my, I mean, until these opportunists come along to give it a boost, you're crazy. So many subpar talented people doing so well. Fuck them.

Fuck us. You want to grab food at Firefly? Fuck you. You know, it's just all over. Like, he doesn't know what he's talking about then the next text everybody's great i love everybody i mean it's just out of fucking control yannis poppins is out of control literally and it's almost like i don't there's a part of me that wants yannis to go back on snooze so he can calm down and just because now he's waking up every day at seven o'clock in the morning so he's up every day early like a 90 year old man he looks at he his favorite thing to do is go sit on a bench and look at trees that's what he does he looks at trees

and he and he told me it's over he said that there are trees are so beautiful that there are times when he starts to get horny around trees so if you ever see that's a thing dude yeah if you ever see a guy put their their fingers in soil that's how he feels if that's how he feels that's how it feels if he if you ever see a guy walking around pants down in a forest you know it's yannis and if that tree is sticky you know what happened yannis blew his load on that tree so yannis has gotten to a level now where i don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he will have sex with a plant. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility. What do they call it?

There's a name for those people. I don't know. Arbor fuckers? I don't know what they are. But Giannis, a snooze-less Giannis is a very interesting cat. Even, did you hear them on the phone? Yeah. He sounded like he was in a fucking asleep.

He's lowering his voice. I can't really talk right now. He's not laughing. He's nuts. He's wearing his voice. I can't really talk right now. He's not laughing. He's nuts. Wearing a backwards Expo hat. He's been wearing a backwards Montreal Expos hat all summer. Hasn't cleaned it once. Doesn't shave. He's wild. Which is interesting

because you were wearing a Marlins jersey last time I saw you. Well, I have baseball jerseys from every single team except the Boston Red Sox because I can't... Do that to your father? Yeah, I can't do that to my father. There's two things I can't do to my father. First of all, I'm a diehard New York Yankees fan, just like my dad is. I can't ever root for the Red Sox, which I don't think I ever would. And I can't ever really take a good look inside myself and find out if I'm gay while my

father's alive. There's a chance I could be gay, but I can't. Still that blueberry yogurt moment. Yeah, I'm not going to look inside and scan myself because if i ever came out of the if i ever did look at myself and find that i am gay it would kill my dad unfortunately that you know he's just and that's not that doesn't make him a bad guy people want to if people want to be like oh my god that's wrong it's like listen i think that people nowadays you know like especially like this millennial like new wave of people like the extreme extreme liberals you want everyone to think like you and conform like you the bottom line is my dad and people like my dad my dad was born in 1948 donald trump another guy i mean he just happens to be

president united states which is you know it's not good but same year but it's the same same year my i think trump was born in 1946 these people are from a different time they are from a different time i was born in 1984 the things that i stand for and the things that I think are cool and uncool are way different than my dad and my child and her child child will think the things that I thought were fucking preposterous. At least you got a child and an ex because with me, I'm 38. Right. Never married. Okay. No kids.

Yeah. People start to question. No, but now let me ask you, is that by choice? No marriage and no kids? What's the deal with that? Yeah, we got close a few times, but I think it's just the fact that... I live... Well, you said I live on my phone, but that's because I always have stuff cooking. Right.

I put my life into my job. I left pharmaceutical sales. Right. You did? Yeah, you left a fucking big-time career just like I did. $100,000 a year. Yeah. Car gas insurance. $100,000 a year.

And then I remember two years later when I first met you, your office was in a Panera Bread. Yeah. That's what I know. That's what I remember about you. You would go to a Panera Bread because they had Wi-Fi when you were making $100,000 a year two years before. And that, my friend, is fucking commitment. And that's why I think you're in a great position right now. Yeah.

So I live vicariously through both my sisters who have kids um i'm actually my youngest sister right now is uh she's a surrogate she's giving birth right now she's a surrogate to a baby that's not even hers what the fuck what would convince her to do that what tell me the reasoning so my sisters are involved in the amazing race that's not being televised. Okay. My middle sister had an oops baby, an unplanned twins. Oopsies. So my younger sister was probably in her. Now, we haven't had this discussion, but probably thought to herself, how can I one up?

Oh, I'll be a surrogate. Okay. So she did some research. There's a guy that's just got divorced, wanted kids. His wife never wanted him. He's in his early 50s. And he decided that he wanted to become a kid. So this biologically has no connection to my sister. No, no, no.

They put the sperm and the egg in. Egg in, yes. So your sister's just the carrier. Just the carrier. Strictly the carrier, strictly business. Who's the woman's egg? Where'd they get the egg from? I'm not sure. I've never asked, but it's not my sister.

And she just got paid you know you get that that's that's why you get paid yes big money oh yeah big money like six figures uh not that much but but a good amount of money i would for me dude to fucking have another to do go through that for nine months and here's i'm not doing that for anything less than six figures here's the thing um you also have to have a track record they a first time mother cannot be a surrogate they want to see that you've done it successfully so your sister had kids already she had three she has three oh okay okay this is the oopsie baby no no no no the other sister both my sisters have one has three one has four god so yeah joel's from an amish family yeah yeah yeah they're just pumping them out so wow that's fucking wild holy shit that's fucking wild so your sister's just the vessel so here and here's how i found out are you guys gonna go are you gonna go to the birth well i'm here so you know nobody cares in the family they're like i

just found out i mean she was due yesterday she's having it today you don't even know she's pregnant i knew she was pregnant you thought it was her kid no i knew i knew it wasn't hers but so my mom and my other sister told me but i was supposed to not know okay and we're at lunch with both my sisters the sister that's the surrogates uh middle child who who's four, and her son, who's two, and then my dad and my four-year-old niece were having lunch. And she goes, Mommy's having a baby, and it's not for us. And that's like – and I had to act shocked because I wasn't supposed to know. But it's like that's how they had to explain it to her. Right.

Like, by the way, your mom's – and it's not going to be your brother. It's not going to be your sister. Is your sister willing to do this again do you think or has she been like this is regretful um i think i think the timing of her son being two and terrible two and running around was a little hard on her being nine months in july in the middle of the summer i think it was a little tough for her but financially it was great for the family what do you think she does when people are like oh my god i talked about the baby you think she just says it's not mine that's like something a guy would say it's not mine oh so so no one knew because she kind of kept herself off social media in that angle until someone else took a picture

and posted it okay and everyone was like question mark question mark like so then she had to announce it that she did this great thing for someone and And then people. Now, once you give birth, is she going to give birth vaginally or C-section? That I don't know. Because she's done both. Right. With her different kids. She's had three. But I do know that she has offered to breastfeed the first couple weeks.

I wonder how many times you can do that. That's a way for women to make money. If you gave somebody six figures a year to do that that would be how they made a living just popping out kids i mean there's women out there that i mean back in the day you would have 18 kids in the civic jewish community women have 15 children yeah so i wonder i wonder like if anybody's if anybody if you guys know i've never even talked about this on my own podcast this is fucking great this is great i can't believe you spilled the beans for that for us go on patreon.com right now go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys right in the community board and let us know if you yourself have ever been a surrogate or if you know anyone who's a surrogate and how to get

involved in that because i mean that is my fucking mind is blown i i never met anybody personally that i knew that was a surrogate i've there's been times i've thought about donating my sperm like just donating it and like seeing what you know like just like how do i donate the sperm to like you know see what's up lonely night weekend on the road yeah just donated the sperm and i wonder like let me ask you this how do you guys feel about this say you're married okay and you donated you had children with your wife and you donated your sperm is that cheating on your wife you think if you use your sperm to have a baby with someone else is that a problem mad dog asked about that he goes say this you know this this child is is out in the wild and then falls in love with either of my nieces. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

That's fine. It's not incest. I go, because it has no biological connection to my sister. So it's weird, though. You want to talk about a new age sitcom? That's the fucking sitcom. Is you, you have your sister's, you know, surrogate, and you fall in love.

Or you as a person fall in love with, a surrogate, and you fall in love, or you as a person fall in love with your own surrogate mother. Because why can't the child grow up and fall in love with your sister? Right, if they have my mindset, yeah. Absolutely, dude. She'll be about 60 years old then, fucking fresh pup in the eyes of Soul Joel.

That's fucking, are you kidding me? That's a virgin. If you're 65 years old to Soul Joel Richardson, virgin. That's a young girl for you. Sol, you're a fucking wild child. I can't believe we forgot you were coming. And then you just fucking came from Philadelphia with no concrete answer if you were going to even get in. But you know what, Sol?

I think the lesson – I would never cancel on you guys. You would never cancel on us, which I fucking appreciate. And you just go. And that sales pitch you just said, that why give me a chance to cancel, is something that literally you just profoundly changed my life. Why confirm with someone? What's that saying? Like don't ask for forgiveness.

Don't ask for permission. Ask for forgiveness. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you live your life life and that's why you're successful thanks brother fucking soul jaw baby patreon.com

slash Bay Ridge Boys every week what we do for our new Patreon members is we read out the new names this week because we've done podcasts back to back

we only have one new member her name is Kristen welcome to the matriarch Kristen if you're out is it Kristen or Kirsten hold on let me see because I can't fucking keep up with these you know white women names kristen or kirsten i believe it's kristen but she's got eight shout outs eight shout outs well now i didn't fucking know where this thing is jesus christ this is embarrassing

okay only one name for today and yeah it's kristen and she has a cat photo um so we know that um she's in the family we know that she's a lonely person um so no okay but now but now she has a family here you guys love your fans now she has a family here in the matriarch um she's one of the hyenas she's on she's on team chicks with dicks soul joe where can people find you? sjpcomedy.com And at Twitter and Instagram At sjpcomedy Fucking soul baby Alright dude What do you want to do?

You want to go play bingo And look for some puss? Why not? Why not dude? Love you Zach Isis You good today? Everything good?

Everything's good Got some shit cooking up What areas Because you know For the people out there Especially the matriarch What areas should we avoid this weekend? I'll let you and Giannis know before anything goes down.

Great, and we'll tweet that information out to you guys so you can avoid terrorist activity. That's Axe, I'm freaking out. All right, guys, later. ស្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប� Bye.