History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 27 - Sara Jeong is WILD!

Episode Date: August 12, 2018

Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas  discuss how New York Times journalist specializing in tech, Sarah Jeong, almost got cancelled!! The guys discuss many topics like, cancel culture, outrage media, and woke vs. libtard.This episode does not have a video because make no mistake the boys recorded in Yanni’s home along with his Puerto Rican dog!!!   Do you think Sarah Jeong was being racist or was it truly satire? Enjoy and share with your friends your favorite moments from this ep!!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

what's up everybody? Welcome to a special edition of... Can you do a hyena cackle? I can't. I'm sick today, Coach. Yeah! We got the guest, Isla, the black dog from Puerto Rico. Yes, we're here for the first time ever. We're recording inside Buffalo Bill's lair.

Giannis, Freddy Fettucese, transgender himself, Poppets. He's got a one-bedroom apartment in Bay Ridge. I can see Manhattan on the left. And on the right, we can see his radiator covers. And he's got a box of Fiber One cereal. And he's got shit stains in his toilet bowl. There comes an age where you just can't Have a healthy dump without Fiber supplements

You also have a parking ticket you haven't paid in about a year How many parking tickets do you have That you haven't paid? I literally, the parking tickets still go to my mother's house So my mom calls me, I would say Probably every Wednesday or Thursday And says, honey, got another parking ticket And I'm like, nah, I paid that one

And my mom still to this day believes That I just keep, got another parking ticket. And I'm like, nah, I paid that one. And my mom still to this day believes that I just keep getting the same parking ticket from the city and it's their mistake. But meanwhile, I get parking tickets every week. Parking tickets are just such a part of having a car in New York City. It's an expense you have to budget in. Well, and now with the moving violation cameras,

if you go 35, if you're in a 35 mile per hour zone and you go at 40 in a school zone, you get a ticket. They take a picture of your lights plate and you get a ticket. Cuz, how good were the eggplant Parmesan sandwiches we just had at Pier 69?

If you guys are in the Bay Ridge area, go to Pier 69 Market on 69th Street and Shore Road and get an eggplant Parmesan sandwich. Or if you just ask for Jesus's penis, it's the same thing. Because literally, it's the most immaculate food you'll ever have in your whole life. Not only do they have eggplant parmesans and juices and great coffee with oat milk, they

make their own ice cream. Giannis and I just had a sample of Fruity Pebbles ice cream, and let me tell you, it was delish. No, we're not joking. Seriously. If you go to the counter and you ask for God's dick, they will know exactly what you're talking about. And let me tell you guys, like, you know, you'll hear another podcast. People, you know, say, oh, go to Casper Mattress or go to this, go to that and definitely do those things.

But understand those companies are paying them to say that. Pier 69 Market is not paying us to say or do anything. We're doing this 100% on our our own which is probably a stupid move we should probably ask for some money but guess what we're not yeah because pier 69 the food is so good and it's just one of those places where if you guys don't go to it when you're in bay ridge you're in fucking isis and that's the truth and we're just good kids we're just doing it because we're we're just good people yeah we love the spot and i'm not lying go up to the counter and ask for god's dick like literally do that and they will laugh and they will know who sent you they'll know it was chris d and yanni p yeah told you to go go get yourself eggplant farm the bay ridge boys baby

and i just had a juice and and one of the girls made me a flu shot and um i feel better i do feel a little bit better but i still got a sore throat and i have a pim shot And I feel better I do feel a little bit better But I still got a sore throat And I have a pimple on my tongue So if anyone's a doctor out there And knows why I have a pimple on the back of my tongue And a sore throat And why I feel like dog shit

Let me know Well listen It's no We've talked about it before in the cast That growing up your whole life You sent me a couple of pictures last night Of you and your friends when you were little Which we should post on the Patreon

We're gonna post those We're gonna post those pictures because people need to know that it's not a joke, that you are fucking a rodent-resistant trash bag. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. Rodent-resistant trash bag. Rodent-resistant, yeah. I mean, you are fucking

Queens' trash. Trash. We used to hang out in a garage. Yeah. That's what we used to hang out in a garage. And one of the kids, that kid with the Chicago Bulls jersey, Pablo, was homeless. He was? We would just let him hang out in the garage Yeah That's what we used to hang out in a garage And one of the kids That came with the Chicago Bulls jersey Pablo was homeless He was? We would just let him hang out in the garage Cause you know

Fucking You burrow trash Yeah You're a trash monkey bad Yeah yeah yeah When somebody posts a TBT And the word crew Is in the description

Yeah Yeah It was called What was our crew called? I forgot Fucking trash monkeys incorporated Oh IB IB crew

Ill behavior Yeah ill behavior crew Yeah And you know the thing about it That's hilarious Is like you can tell What was our crew called? I forgot. Fucking Trash Moms Incorporated. IB crew. Ill Behavior. Yeah. Ill Behavior crew. Yeah. And you know, the thing about it that's hilarious is like you can tell that you were the gay one. Yep. I was the gay one. We're going to post these pics.

The other kids look very dangerous. Yeah. Chrissy looks like he's in a boy band. Yeah. Yeah. He used to call me Shadacious. Because there's no question that you're the only kid here who has a good relationship with his mom.

Yep. Yep. The only one who even knows his father. The whole time you were hanging out with these kids, you were just thinking about how your mom would be upset if she knew where you were. Yeah. You look like you're in a boy band and look at the rest. Look what else is going on. Look at these fucking hammers.

Yeah. And everyone used to bang that girl out. Everybody did that? Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do? She got trained up or was it different? Yeah.

Everyone at the same time? No, not me. I never did. But these guys did. Yeah. Yeah. That was, uh, what are you going to do? You know, I trained up or was it everyone at the same time? No, not me. I never, I never did. But these guys get dead at the same time or no? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. This kid was homeless. Yeah. This is a, yeah. This kid was in jail for a while. Yeah. And the guy's screening, we're not going to say, but it's hilarious. Hilarious. Yeah. And then it says as throwback as it gets, ill behavior. God's a war. Yeah. Yeah. Hashtag the block. You are good. Well, yeah, there was one true though. Yeah.

Where's the truth though? Right there. Yeah. No, two, two, two. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Not him. Look at you. Look at me because you're a gay kid? I'm a gay kid, yeah. Seriously?

Yeah. Let's be honest. Is that the face of a guy who wants to get on his knees and suck Fruity Pebbles ice cream off your dick? I mean, yo, but you look kind of sick. You look like really like you look sick. Like you don't eat back then, huh? Like I was too skinny, right? Yeah.

What was the deal with you back then? You grew into being a good-looking kid. That was not a good-looking face right there. You were not a good-looking kid. No, but look. Go back to the other picture yeah you're cuz you see me in high school yeah you i've lost my looks yeah i was a better looking kid yeah you look like a fucking parakeet now yeah yeah i'm not a good looking kid yeah you got yeah because

your head looks like it's dented yeah yeah but did you see me in high school? Yeah. You were a handsome kid with the flowing hair. Now you look like you tape your hair on. Cuz. Look at some of these pics, cuz. Wow. We're just looking at Chrissy's old pics right here. Which we are going to post on patreon.com slash Bray Ridge Boys. Yeah. We may even post them just everywhere.

Yeah. Wow. Where are you in here? In the back, cuz. What about go to the next one? The next one is the best one with my shirt off. Yeah, because you can't really see this one that good. What about the one with my shirt off?

Wow. There you go, with Joe Boxers. Who remembers Joe Boxers? Look at Joe Boxers. You have the pants half off. You just wanted to get out of there. You couldn't wait to sing Whitney Houston. Yeah.

You need to be free. You're the one kid here who's just like, you can tell it's an act. Like, yo, fellas, am I supposed to take my shirt off? Yeah. Should I take my shirt off? Does that look tough? But in your head, you're going, I want cupcakes. I want sweets. Yeah, take me to Ice Capade. Yeah. The kid next to me is literally throwing up gang signs and two middle fingers.

He is, yeah. Look at you. I have the same arms, right? Just no muscle on the arm. Just long arms. God, look at the trash. Look at these kids. Every single one of these kids works for the city or no? Every single one. Every single one. Yeah, this one still is trying to be a rapper.

He's still got a budding rap career. Oh, he's still going for that? Yeah, it was in one of his rap videos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this kid's a full-blown alcoholic, probably die any day. And yet all these kids work for the city. Yeah.

Yeah. And then there's this one gay kid. There's one gay kid named Chris DiStefano. Now, look, there's nothing wrong with being gay. Right. We don't use gay as a punchline We just have fun with it No, I think being gay is hilarious though And it's funny

Oh, Dr. Lima Yeah, because we don't got a professional studio Yeah, I'm just leaning back because the throat's a little sore You're always a sick, tired kid No, because I haven't been sick in about a year This is the first time I've been sick in a year Really? And it's in the throat? Did you finally give in a year. Really? Yeah. And it's in the throat? Yeah.

Did you finally give in, go on Craigslist, and take a dick in the face? Yeah, I was soliciting male prostitutes while I was at Borgata, Atlantic City. Yeah, when my family would go to sleep, I'd go down and suck some God damn. Now, what do you do? You get on, what is it, Grindr, and you just, but you admit that you're straight. You just say, I'm looking for. Right. And you like, hey, you find a guy like Thomas Dale Who's like What's up Pretending to be straight too

Yeah And too straight He's like Nah bro It's just We're just We're just straight guys Yeah I look for

Yeah I look for people To pee on And I look for guys To jerk off in alleyways Yeah we're right I don't think that's that gay No Be honest with you

I don't think that's gay No No I mean you jerk off To tranny porn I jerk off to tranny porn I put on a female wig Yeah you put on

I like men Yeah I mean You know I don't think that's gay either No it's not gay Cause I'm a gay the tranny porn. I put on a female wig. Yeah, you put on stockings. I like men. I mean, you know, I don't think that's gay either. No, it's not gay. Cause, I'm a gay. When should I come

out of the closet? I mean, whenever, the second you come out, oh, while your dog's choking. Bitch! Yeah, well, you know, she's eating a chicken wing. You know?

Yeah. You know why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's the bone sometimes getting caught. Yeah, look, as you turned around and looked at us. Yeah, she's a cute girl, no?

She's a cute girl, yeah. You have nothing for that dog. You don't think that dog's cute? You don't want to touch it? If it wasn't here, you'd fucking try to poison it? Nope. The thing is, because she's Puerto Rican, I want to lick her ass. Oh, that's right, yeah.

Yeah, she's Puerto Rican. She is. Yeah. My dog was rescued, Isla, from Puerto Rico right before the storm with all her siblings. Really? Now she's got a great life, and me and my fiance love this fucking dog. Yeah. But, you know, you ripped her away from her brothers and sisters, though.

I did. But, you know, they're used to that, right? Yeah, that's what happens. Growing up in different families and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what happens. Yeah. See, that's just, we're being funny.

But nowadays, people are like, oh, that's insensitive. But you know what? It is what it is. I've got a Puerto Rican family I have gay uncles I'm probably a little gay Yeah I love every race, religion and creed

I do not I love Seriously generally love everybody Yeah So that's the truth And you know There's a little There are some Puerto Ricans

Who have half brothers And stuff like that Yeah And there's some white people Who have half brothers Some white people have half brothers Yeah As well

I have no brothers and sisters I'm an only child. You're an only kid. Because my families are fucking wasps. Yeah. No, they're not, though. No, they're not. My mom wants to be, but she's not.

My dad is Bronx trash. Yeah, your dad is... Here we go. Yeah, here you go. There we go. Yeah. Oh, to the people. There we go.

How wild is that? We live in an era that your fart right there. Right. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, Jesus. Yeah,? We live in an era that your fart right there. Right. Oh my god. Yes. Oh Jesus. Yeah, I told you because I'm a sick kid right now. I'm a sick little kid. Wow, you smell bad in the windows and clothes. Yeah.

But yo, we live in an era where that fart could reach somebody like in Australia. Like someone in Australia. Heard that fart right now. Heard that fart, yeah. Oh god, it stinks. Yeah, but you gotta Fuck it You gotta keep the windows down I gotta admit That's one of the first times

Your farts have ever stunk though Because you're a German kid Yeah German kids farts don't stink right Do you think I have fumes I don't think you got fumes Yeah no Because you got blonde hair

So you're thick right Yeah yeah yeah See that's my theory I think it's all about The black hairs carry more You have fumes there Fumes I got fumes

Yeah Yeah I'm Fuck it's gross Yeah That's why I gotta shave All my pubes down So you get rid of pubes It's a nightmare for women When they would go down there Yeah I think itumes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fucking, it's gross. Yeah. That's why I gotta shave all my pubes down so you can get rid of pubes. It's a nightmare for women

when they would go down there. Yeah, I think it's gross. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to get a beach though. Do you shave your balls or no? No, I try to, but every time I shave my balls,

my balls hang low. I always wind up nicking my nutsack. You do? I do a little nutsack. Well, you gotta go light with it. You just, you're an anxious kid. You do things too quick. You rush.

Yeah, yeah, because every picture you have framed, someone's wearing Yankee memorabilia. That's how you know you're a New York piece of shit. You got a framed picture of Goose Gossage. No, that's Ron Guidry. Oh, Ron Guidry. And then you have a framed picture of you and your fiancée, and you're both wearing Yankee hats. And then the only other things

you have are Yankee, little Yankee cups with baseballs in them and a boxing glove. And a picture of your dad lifting weights in 1931. And a picture of Bill Clinton getting a handy from Monica Lewinsky. How cool And a picture of your dad Lifting weights in 1931 Yeah And a picture of Bill Clinton Getting a handy From Monica Lewinsky How cool is that photo Of my dad though

In his dress shoes Lifting weights That's dope That's dope Oh so you met Bill Clinton too That's you in the suit Oh yeah My brother used to work for him

Cause you have a Your suit is too big In that picture Yeah I was a 21 year old kid there I was 21 years old Yeah Yeah I was a cute fucking kid Get that picture

I want to see that picture. Yeah, because you're a handsome fucking kid. I want something to jerk off to later. Yeah, I know you do. You fucking gay fuck. Wow. Yo, cuz, we're homophobic on this podcast. A little bit.

No, we're really not. We're not homophobic at all. We're not at all. I mean, cuz, you got to post a picture of this. I mean, the outfit that you have on is abominable. You're wearing a plaid shirt. I had no idea how to dress. You're wearing a plaid shirt with a button

to the top and a fucking suit jacket that's beige and that's a tent size too big standing next to the President of the United States. Yeah. You look like a fucking idiot. Yeah, that's a leaded shirt with a gap plaid short sleeve shirt underneath. Yeah, standing next to the President of the United States of America.

Take a picture of that right now. You have to post it on Patreon. I will, but I'm a cute kid. You're a handsome kid. You say I'm a handsome kid there? No, you're a handsome kid. You probably banged a girl.

You were banging out back then, right? Yeah, I mean, I've always got hot girls. Yeah. Oh, yeah, beautiful fiance. My dad was a little heavy

back then. Yeah, he's a skinny kid now, right? Yeah, he's a lot skinnier, yeah. But how old was my dad there when I was 21? If he's 80, he's a skinny kid now, right? He's a lot skinnier, yeah. How old was my dad there when I was 21? If he's 80, he's 89 right now, going on 90. Your dad's 89? He's going on 90. He will be 90

in October. How old was he when he had you? He was 48 or 9. He was 49? So if you were 21 there, then he was about 70 years old in that picture. Yeah. His dad was 70 years old in that picture. Looks good for 70 now. Yeah, it looks good.

Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, a lot of people, you look older when you have more weight on you. Right. You know, if you're in shape, you look younger. Look young, yeah. Because you can't stop looking at the photo. Bill Clinton's a little chubby there too.

Yeah. Little chub skulls. But you look like a skinny. Were you jacked back then? I was not yet, but I became jacked. You were ripped there. My junior and senior year, I was kind of ripped there. My junior Were you jacked back then? I was not yet But I became jacked You were ripped there My junior and senior year I was kind of ripped there

My junior and senior year I mean I was a strong kid Now what was it? I was throwing two plates Two 45s on Now take me through this Were you just Were you in a line of people

Taking pictures? Yeah it was like My brother worked for him So it was like He gave some radio address And then there was a bunch of people Like family members Friends of people

Who worked for him Who he just let meet And take a picture with real quick in the oval office yeah so it's just something my brother hooked up yeah yeah but you were you were in there was a line of people waiting to take pictures a very intimate line not like a line it was like a into we were in the oval office which is wild which you cannot do post 9-11 now you can never get in the oval office with trump i think you can yeah i think the Oval Office with Trump. I think you can. Yeah, I think it depends. I mean, you know, it was like you go through security and all that and they know it's like Peter Pappas' brother. It was whispered in his ear that I'm Peter Pappas' brother. It's Peter Pappas' brother.

Yeah. So he knows your brother by name. Still to this day, Bill Clinton would know your brother Peter Pappas. Well, according to the type of guy he was, what people say is that yes. And let me tell you something. There's been two. I never met Obama. I haven't met Obama.

I've only met Bill Clinton because of this, right? Bill Clinton and Will Smith. I met those two guys. The amount of charisma. Oh, and fucking Strahan. Strahan. Strahan I've met. The amount of charisma that those guys, how likable those guys are. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's unbelievable. Yes. I've met Strahan. Strahan. Strahan I've met. The amount of charisma that those guys, how likable those guys are.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's unbelievable. Yes, I've met Strahan. How likable is Strahan? He's so fucking likable. I have his jersey. Yeah.

I can't fit into it though anymore. I got too fat. Strahan, like, he was like, because I met him a few times because I met him when we were launching Fusion. He worked for ABC.

And so when I interviewed him for Two Point Lead, my sport, the sports show, he was like, what's up, man? What's up, Giannis? He's like, it just, it made you, it made me feel so good. Yeah.

Yeah. And he was just so personal and so down to earth. Just a superior human being. Absolutely. Because he was a superior. One of the best defenders the Giants ever had. Fucking jacked. Yeah.

Because you were with me and my family in, at the Borgata in Atlantic City this whole week. How wild was it to be part of the DiStefano clan for a few days? Yeah, it was nice. You got a nice, good-looking family. Yeah, people kept coming up to say you have a beautiful family. You got a beautiful girlfriend or baby's mama or mother of your child. Or a person who's going to murder me one day. Yeah. Girlfriend

And And you got beautiful kids Yeah Beautiful How beautiful is my daughter Yeah I called you Tristan's dad once

To Tristan I just slipped up Yeah It gets a little confusing Yeah Tristan doesn't know What the fuck's going on Yeah

I was going like Your pop But your pops is I was like Oh wait Nah Yeah Stepdad

Are you stepdad Or I'm a stepdad Yeah He doesn't know what's going on That's why he's putting on His sister's clothes He has no idea

He puts on his sister's clothes Yeah but then She puts on his clothes And then I put on Jasmine's bronze thong And forget it's on You know It is what it is

Sometimes you gotta Yo have you ever Put on your girl's thong Never Well I did it for a joke once Yeah well I threw it on I threw Jasmine's panties on For a joke once

And I just left them I drove home like that Yeah because it felt good It feels good to have Your balls smushed and a piece of fabric in your asshole. But, I mean, it is really tight up against your ass. Yeah, because I got a big fat ass. I mean, here's the thing about thongs. They're sexy, but I'll be honest.

I only, I understand why women wear thongs because of the panty lines. Right. This is why I'm a gay kid. Right. I'm a little gay, right? You think 100% I'm a little gay? I've told you this. I do not think you're gay. I have't know it's okay but you do have a female

brand that is a guarantee I'd be willing to bet all the money out of my bank out right now that when you die the post-mortem studies will in fact reveal you have a female brain yeah do I have any male part my brains are all female and the males just an act I think that I think that the male parts of your brain are are there but i think that you just have so much estrogen pumping through your bloodstream that it's hard for the male parts yeah to really be as masculine as you certainly you are definitely a man yeah but i would say the testosterone to estrogen rate testosterone testosterone to estrogen ratio is a lot closer than most men.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot more liberating to just fucking be this way. Fuck yeah. Just let go.

But the thing is like the way we talk like this. Fuck yeah. Like 10, 15 years ago, you could, you could say, oh, you're making fun of gay people and that's fucked up. But right now talking like this does not mean we're gay. I know plenty of straight men with wives and children that speak like this and that's fucked up. But right now, talking like this does not mean we're gay. I know plenty of straight men with wives and children that speak like this and that also are fucking

triggered and offended. Yes. There's a lot of straight people that talk like this. Because masculinity is at its core toxic. So being a man and talking like this and being an ally to women's issues is the most manly thing you could do.

Cuz, what we all want to know is— Stop being so competitive. It's toxic. Cuz, do you just—we want to know, do you just sit in your living room— Are you speaking for the people now? No, you're speaking for the people. We want to know, do you just sit in your living room eating 501 and drinking Metamucil by the handful— And playing chess.

Playing chess, thinking about what your next tweet about Sarah Jong is going to be. I do that and I also while I read, I twist the hairs underneath my ball sack and rip them out. Make little balls with the hair. Do you really actually do that? Yeah, I'm a weird kid. You've got to stop doing that and I've got to stop picking my nose in public. You've got to

stop picking your nose in public. Now that is a bad thing. You've sat in my apartment and started picking your nose in front of me. You can't pick your nose in other people Now, that is a bad thing. Yeah. I eat my boogers in public. You sat in my apartment and started picking your nose in front of me. You can't pick your nose in other people's property. Can't do it, huh? It's gross. No. And in public when other people are watching, you can't.

You'll be sitting in your car and you will just dig deep in your nose. You also don't care if anyone knows about you. No. You need to be fucking killed. A year from now, are we going to be selling out comedy clubs? 100%. Because the truth is, nobody wants to watch stand-up anymore. No, they don't.

They just want to sit and watch live podcasts, and I get it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Some of our comedy peers like to talk shit about people selling out comedy venues because they'll say, oh, they're not good at stand-up, but they're just good at their podcasts. It's like, yeah, welcome to 2018. Nobody cares about stand-up anymore. They care about the live podcast. That's what it is.

Yeah. That's why I... It is what it is. Yeah. I mean, we did the Borgata this weekend. We did this show through Chris Mazzilli's. We love the Mazzilli's. And we had like fucking a quarter of the crowd came out.

There was Bay Ridge Boys fans. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, we had tons of people come out. Yeah. So in a year, it's going to get fucking wild. It's going to get fucking wild.

I couldn't believe that there was like 100 people come out. Yeah. So in a year, it's going to get fucking wild. It's going to get fucking wild. I couldn't believe that there was like 100 people to show. Yeah. And we had to take pictures and everything afterwards. We couldn't believe it. And so we just started this thing. Yeah. So look, keep telling your friends about the History Hyenas podcast, the Bay Ridge Boys web series, Chrissy D and Yanni P, because we are fucking wild.

Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and be a part of the matriarch we got t-shirts over there and now we got small, mediums, larges, women's size get yourself a

Bay Ridge Boys t-shirt a BRBTS Bay Ridge Boys t-shirt we did a couple episodes without each other we did we did three in a row and cuz

we're holding on by a thin thread if we want to take this podcast to the next level which we're going to do we got to get a little more serious about the scheduling because right now we're sitting in do, we got to get a little more serious about the scheduling.

Whoa. Because right now we're sitting in my apartment and we're recording this on your iPhone. On my iPhone. But we're sitting inside the fucking transgender, the kind of, I feel like I'm in the well, in Buffalo Bill's well. Can we admit one thing though? Yeah, let's admit one thing. It does feel good to be doing this podcast and not have to smell Zach Isis. Yeah.

We don't have to because Zach Isis, because it's the summer months. You know, he takes the train.. He takes the train, he wears jeans and a full Habibi into the studio and he smells like armpits a little bit. And it's kind of tough when you look over and he's supposed

to be looking up facts about the podcast for us but instead he's looking up how much fucking platonium it'll take to blow up the studio. You guys, a lot of you don't live in New York. A lot of you do live in New York. The ones in New York, you know, there hasn't been a time. What's it been like 20 years since you went into a bodega or went into a candy store or what? They call them bodegas and saw a white person behind the counter.

When's the last time? I mean, they're always Middle Eastern. Yeah. Or Latino. Or South Asian. Yeah. Or Puerto Rican or Dominican. Yeah.

There's no white people who have candy stores and bodegas. Okay, but what's the problem with that? My point is that you know you're from New York. Yes. If you saw a white person behind a 7-Eleven type store. Yeah. You're like, whoa, that's weird. Well, for the most part, you know, you're in New York.

If you see white people behind the counter of any store. Yeah. For the most part, even the pizzerias and the Italian joints, it's all Mexican. It's all Mexican. Yeah. And it's like and it's like, oh, people say, oh, you know, your stereotype. It's like, no, it's factual. That's what it is.

It's what it is. It's because. And it's not a problem. It's great. Everything's great about it's factual that's what it is it's what it is it's because and it's not a problem it's great everything's great about it i respect the culture yeah we're just saying what a fact of the fact is we're just noticing it um because we noticed it with our eyes yeah that's what we used yeah and with your eyes you saw that this there's just it's all mexican because the phone and other places that's what i'm saying other places just like you go to those stores there's white people there Yeah And it's like

To me That's always strange I'm always like That's weird It must be weird for them When they come in And they're like Where are all the white people

How wild of a world Do we live in that Wild world Just saying that Because we're two white kids Sitting on your couch With a view of Manhattan If we said that

And we were You know Bigger and more famous Or somebody wanted to go The extra mile We could like Lose our careers But if Sarah Jung said that

She becomes editor Of the New York Times. Yeah, that's the world we live in right now. I just got an email of a friend wants me to come on her podcast to talk about being a straight white male doing more Risa. Wow. Would you have wanted to ask that question 10 years ago? No. Does it matter?

No. What do you want to find out? The truth is people need – right now we live in a world where if there's no controversy, people lose jobs. Yeah, you got to have a controversy. People need to have a controversy to have a job. You have to be outraged to have a job now. There's a lot of people who pay their bills on outrage. You have to listen.

Look, whoever our loyal fans are, thank you. If you're new to the podcast, welcome. But just know that. Don't be mindless watching the news. I'm not saying you are, but I'm just saying it out there, putting it out there. Just understand that a lot of people on television, on radio, on podcasts need to be outraged. They need to find the outrage in order for them to have a career and have a job. You have to, have to, have to understand that and hear that. That is the fucking truth.

have to have to understand that and hear that that is the fucking truth yeah we've all become just rubberneckers who pull over the side of the road to see a car on flames right and that's what people do nobody wants to hear a balanced um you know reasonable moderate opinion you want to hear extreme vitriol from one side or the other and you got to pick a fucking team yeah because i think we're hardwired i think our brains are hardwired to be negative and see problems yeah and to be we already know we're hardwired to be tribal i think the one thing that's overlooked a lot and because we're we talk about history so much is like people focus on the negative and we're hardwired to do so so you can't blame them that much although we we always have Timshel, which is the human word for choice. Yeah.

To overcome all of our inefficiencies, all of our deficiencies. You have all of your genetic wiring. Yeah. You have Timshel. You have the choice. Choice. East of Eden. Good book.

Free will. Yeah. To override it. Willpower to override it. But yeah, we focus on the negative. Because you notice history is all about like, oh, these people slaughtered these people. You know, the conquistadors slaughtered these people. Yeah. You know what also happened in history that nobody ever talks about? A lot of

kind and good things. Yes, absolutely. All right. Because if it was just all brutal, there would be no people here. Yeah. There would be no people. Yeah. There'd be no Latin people. There'd be no Indian people. There'd be no Asian people. There'd be no white people. There'd be no people because we would have slaughtered it all. Everyone would have been dead. Yeah.

But there was just as much evil as you read about in the past, like all the horrible killings or massacres that happened. I bet you there's even more stories of good stuff. Right. because it happened. I bet you there's even more stories of good stuff. Right. Of just like two races, some Palestinian guy,

or at that time, you just call him a Middle Eastern, you know, Semitic guy, and some Christian guy living in that area right there, just like being cool and being friendly.

I bet you most of history is like that in a lot of ways as well. But for a long time. But we focus on the negative. But again, all that stuff, it's just,

like you said, it's in our DNA. It's in our hardwiring to do that. So there's a lot of things we're just not going to change. To me, it's not about change. It's about accepting. You just got to accept shit. Yeah. I mean, look, we live in an era right now where, like you said, first of all, the far left philosophy is institutionalized at this point.

It is part of the power structure. It really is. That perspective is what's being pumped through the air vents. Well, I think— There's no question. The Sarah Jong hiring, and that's why I'm so fascinated by it, is because it's not about left or right here. Right. You're talking about the New York Times.

Right. Okay? the New York Times. We're talking about the most respected media outlet of the last however many years you want to say. The top of the food chain. All about integrity. Look, whoever's on the editorial board

is going to be above reproach. And they should be. They're responsible for giving the news to the people. And people used to subscribe because they wanted that good, honest, objective, balanced news. Not even balanced because they weren't even going for right or left. It was objective. The New York Times has increasingly got more liberal, no question. Completely like the rest of the news, become more editorialized.

But you're a liberal yourself. I am a liberal myself. I believe people need to know that. Yeah, pro-choice. Pro-choice. I'm for single-payer healthcare. I did social work for five and a half fucking years.

Liberal people, the perspective of being compassionate, I feel like there should be tax money for people who are handicapped, old people. I think the press, we should pay taxes for press. I don't think there should be a private option for press. Fine.

But there should be public options for press and for fucking education. We need more money in education. These are all liberal positions. I also am not a socialist. If you're a socialist in this world, you are fucked. It's like trying to bring back MySpace. Are you fucking kidding me? Right.

It's like socialism is good to temper capitalism. But capitalism has to be the engine behind what makes the economics go. Well, like you say, all the socialist experiments, they always get bailed out with capitalism. No, all the capitalism gets bailed out with socialism. That's what I meant. Yeah. You're a tired kid and you're half paying attention. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to walk you upstate, cuz. Yeah.

I'm going to walk you upstate. A gun is too good. You know what? I'm changing it. A bow and arrow to the fucking heart. The problem is I still have some hope left so when you start to turn into Fox News Freddy fucking Fox News Freddy Fettich, I just gotta lean back. That's right. Yeah. FNFFC.

It's a good character. So the problem is, she had, like, it wasn't like one tweet, and then she tried to excuse it, like, I was just imitating the people who were harassing me. No, you weren't. You were getting cool points with your friends, because it's cool to say white people are stupid, white people white people are stupid white people

are evil old white people suck and it was like you go through all her tweets she was defending this like you know always believe always believe uh victims this one guy whose life got ruined because the woman was lying i mean look you can say whatever you want to say you can have whatever position you want to have but my whole problem with position you want to have. But my whole problem with this, you're getting hired to the New York Times. Right. You're not an entertainer. Right.

This is journalism. Right. So these tweets are indicative of who you are. Well, nothing's going to happen to her though, right? No, she's... It's over.

The controversy has gone. No, she's been hired. But I'm saying, it's blown past. There's no more public outcry. No, the public outcry is still there.

Yeah. The hypocrisy is obvious for everyone. It's not a good look for the New York Times. It really is not. Whether you're left or right, like again, this has nothing to do with left or right. It's like, it just shows that this person is highly flawed. Highly flawed.

Highly flawed, has bad judgment at the very least. I mean, that's a very prestigious position. position. It just shows that a lot of the paranoia that the right has about the liberal press and liberal media, stuff like this just adds fodder to the fire, man. It adds

dry wood to the fire when you see something like this. It's brutal. And yeah, if you want to point out, Roseanne is an entertainer. She's been saying crazy shit her whole time. Granted, she's out of her fucking mind. Right. And she's a conspiracy nut, and she's a fucking right-wing nut.

Right. But she's a comedian. Right. She's an entertainer. Right. You don't hold her to any standard. Right. Right, I'm saying?

She was fired immediately. Right. Right? Right. Not saying whether she should have or not. That's a private choice. Right. But that Sarah Jung, I mean, Sarah Jung didn't have one crazy tweet.

It's like years and years and years of fucking questionable, like, huh? And Sarah Jong, who are you? You're South Korean? Tell me about how hard that struggle was. Was it really hard when all those who are now old white men went over and held that line from the communists and protected South Korea? Or would you have rather your whole country been like North Korea? How about those old white men? Yeah. Do North Korea? How about those old white men? Yeah.

Do you hate the opinions of those old white men? And how is your life so hard? Let me, how much did white privilege hold you back from being an Asian woman? Asians are the most successful minority in America. More than Indians? Asians and Indians are number one. South Asians and Asians are number one. South Asians and Asians are number one. Furthermore, on average, on average, they do well.

They do much better financially. They do better. They have more than white people. Right. In a country that is majority white. Right. How much better do you want it? Right.

You know, it's the thing where it's like these facts have gone out the window, you know, because everyone is just kind of culturally appropriated the black man's struggle in America. It's fucking hilarious. Right. It's like you hear some Indian kid complain, say, were you bullied? So what? Who wasn't fucking bullied? Yeah.

You got called up who once? Okay. There was a couple of dicks in your high school. Yeah. You know, not everything that happens to you is indicative of some bigger problem in society. Right. There's a lot of Indian kids who are doing fucking great. Right.

We have white friends. And, you know, it's like it is what it is. Kids are cruel, but you grow up and it's fine. Things are fine. Right. You know, I just get made fun of all the time. And I was a kid because I had a fucking huge head. And, you know

I would say gay things Like to my boys Like you guys want to go Get some blueberry muffins And skip And you know And you were like Hey you were remembering

People's birthdays Yeah I remember Remembering someone's birthday In your neighborhood That's a gay move That's a gay move Yeah I would remember Everybody's birthday

And I'd be like Yo don't forget It's Ian's birthday Let's make sure We send him a card And then And then you know Like My friends what they would do I remember I would never forget

They would all come over to my house Because they would trash my house When my mom was at work And one time they made me go downstairs They convinced me let's order Chinese food And then we'll go down with you And you answer the door naked It'll be funny

And then they push me out my own door And lock me out of my house Butt naked with the Chinese delivery guy But you know I didn't fucking go on a rant Saying that I was fucking Assault assaulted by these fucking hoodlums. I just fucking put my dick between my legs and fucking was like, this feels nice to have a little puss. Yeah, I mean, you know, I've been physically abused by bullies. You got shot.

I got shot. I mean, it wasn't by a bully, but I was a victim of a crime. Yeah, I don't talk about it. I don't try to use it to better my career. I should. Yeah. I'm also 25% Turkish that I found that I should be using that more. Absolutely.

You're Middle Eastern, cuz. A little diversité. You have a tattoo on your ankle. That's like having a fucking belly button, right? It's a woman move. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that's the thing that kind of bugs me out about this era, John.

Because you're covered in hair. You have hair everywhere you live. You got hair. You have hair on your shoulders. Not really. Just a little bit. Yeah. You got hair You have hair on your shoulders Not really Just a little bit Yeah You got chest hair too right

A little bit yeah Yeah But yo Right wing people are nuts too Cause Right I posted some jokes On Instagram

They fucking went wild They were triggered Yeah You guys are triggered You get triggered Well the tweet you had the other day Everyone who says Everyone who says

Libtard and woke If we just got rid of both groups That would be good Are you telling me That that's That's a funny tweet Is it 100% true It's probably true

If you took everyone Who's earnestly You know Earnest In earnest They meant it Every I would say

Every person who says Libtard yes And every white person Who says woke Yeah That's the better one Black people have a right But it's like Every white person who says woke. Yeah. That's the better one. Get the white people's woke. Black people have a right.

But it's like every white person that says woke, just shut up. Shut up, yeah. Just shut your mouth. The world would be. You're trying so fucking hard. Shut up. How pleasant would the world be outside? It would be nice.

Yeah. It would be fucking nice. It would be fucking great. Yeah. But, you know, that's, even when we, you know, we did all these episodes apart. The last one we did, Pedophiles Were Wild, we're talking about the woman trying to, you know, that German woman, whatever her name was. Oh, from the trying to fucking say that pedophiles, there should be a place for, there's a place for them too and that we have to understand them. And my whole thing is with that woman is like, well, then go.

You're going to break my watch. Go let your kid, go take your kid, go let your kid go on a seven-day cruise to the middle of the Pacific with the pedophile. Yeah, you know, take the worry beef. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you said that on the podcast. It was hilarious. And let him do that. Yeah, it's true.

But my point is, it's kind of like what we're talking about. She was almost trying to make him the victim. Don't you feel like that's big now? Victim, victim. Like Jonas was such a victim. Isn't that big now? Everybody's a victim now. There's like a real currency in like saying like, so it was basically, she was almost blaming us.

She was blaming society for not being more compassionate to someone who, for whatever reason, is motivated to abuse kids. Well, because that's, I mean, that's on television. You can only even get on TV, some of these reality shows, which is all Americans watch. You can only even get on TV if you're a victim. You have to be some kind. You have to have some kind of struggle. Like I was telling you when I was watching that pill pimple popper show and there was this woman who was on and she had keloids behind her ears from from over piercings or whatever. So she and she used to have to wear her hair over her ears and wear like headscarves to cover her keloids which i understand you know like uh you know she was embarrassed by it okay but she got on the show because she told the story about how she went on out on a date and the guy didn't go out on a second date with her he said specifically because

of her keloids and i have to tell you that that's not true yeah yeah that's very did you say that in the podcast or you told me that privately yeah because it's a story yeah because that's not true. Yeah, yeah. Did you say that in the podcast or you told me that privately? I told you that privately. Yeah, it's a good story, yeah. Because that's probably not, I would argue that that's most likely not what happened. He didn't go out on a second date with you, maybe personally

because he's like, I can't deal with the keloids. He may have thought that internally, but there is no chance in hell he told you that. Right. There's no chance in hell that happened.

You fucking made it up. Right, right. Okay, so you made it up to get points and to be victim and I'm not saying The keloids on your ears Weren't discouraging for you

And the fact you got To remove good And you know You look great with them Without them Whatever You just feel good From the inside

All that stuff is true But understand that The guy I would be willing To bet a lot of money Never said That he would not Go out to you

Specifically Because of your keloids You said it To get on the show and to have a struggle. To be a victim. And that's what most people do. Victims want to be a victim. It sells now.

Because you grew up with some bad kids. Yeah. Real bad kids. Yeah, kids that went to jail. Could you picture any of those kids saying that? Not even those kids would say that. Not even the worst kids you know would say that. One of my friends did two years in jail

because he would have rat on his friend who actually committed the crime and the police are like all you gotta do is tell us which friend and you'll get out of jail free

and he said no I'm not gonna be arrested he did two years in federal prison he just did he was just a victim he wasn't like oh woe is me

why is this happening he just fucking did the time but I'm saying even those kids wouldn't say that to that girl oh yeah that's what I mean

even the worst nobody would say that to that girl oh yeah that's what i mean like you know even those even even the worst they would nobody would say that and if somebody did say that to you that doesn't represent men that doesn't represent toxic masculinity that represents an outliers one male subject who is a complete psychopath absolutely who probably kills and sets ablaze small animals in his backyard 100 so that does not represent the population no so but now it's it's just okay to say oh that person did that to me so this is what it is yeah if you're a straight the word straight white male even my friend now who's my friend i but i can just tell you could tell by the way it was asked like what's it like to be a straight white male and pray more recently it's like straight white male it's like a bad thing you're like right away you're bad because

it's like you're a bad guy here's here's what would happen you and i are two straight white males even though you're middle eastern yeah we're two straight white males if i put an american flag so if i'm just promoting our country the country that we live in that we're all proud to live in yeah if i put an american flag on and we drove down the highway, people would take pictures of us probably and say, look at these two Trump-supporting racist motherfuckers. Yeah, look at these Nazis. Do you understand how wild that is? Yeah, it's wild. We're just two straight white guys.

We both have, you have a diverse fan base. I have a diverse family. I've only treated every other race or religion with respect because I truly love them all. And I'm inclusive of everybody because I was born and raised in Queens, New York. Because you got all the comments about you from freaking Netflix were about how you were all right just because of your haircut. Just because of my hair. They would say this fucking white motherfucker. Look, the reality is most people are not like this.

It's the loudest voices. Most people are not on the internet because they're being constructive. They got things to do. But those people, the reasonable people, people that used to be left and right but knew that they had in common that they were both American and both just self-interested pieces of garbage, which is what brings us all together,

is that we're all humble because we know we're just self-interested garbage. And if you're Republican, you're probably voting for it because you have a company that needs those tax breaks. And if you're voting left, it's probably because you don't. And you need that healthcare or whatever it is. It's all self-interested posts. People used to know that.

Now people believe they are who they post online. That's not who you are. You believe you're your avatar now. Yeah, you believe, and you're not. Nobody is. Nobody is. And most people are normal. Those normal people have to start speaking up a little bit more.

Enough is enough. Yeah. Enough is the bullshit. Yeah. It's got to stop. And you know what it is? It's on the right and the left. Yeah.

I can tell even when I post a joke, I can tell it's on the right too. Yeah. These maniacs come at you being like, fucking mud. You know, fucking, it's the worst thing I've ever heard. Fucking compare. I'm like, I made a joke. It's, it's the worst thing I've ever heard. Fucking compare. I'm like, I made a joke. It's not about you. Yeah.

It's not about you. Yeah. All right. Like, don't act like my joke. I made this joke about, you saw the joke. Yeah. It was, if you pretend to only be a conservative, but you're actually a white supremacist and you finally let it out, is it coming out of the KKK closet? Yeah.

It's a good fucking, good bad joke. I even put the thing, is this on? So I'm saying it's a bad, good joke. It's a good, bad joke, you know? People got fucking triggered on the left. They're going, you're comparing. I'm like, no, I'm not comparing all because most conservatives obviously are not.

I'm making a fucking joke. At some point, the mob's just going to eat itself. The mob is wild. The mob mentality is wild. We're going to have Andrew Schultz on as our fucking, how was it? He's going to be the first guest. No, he's going to be the second guest

that's actually an entertainer. The first one was Mike Cannon. Yeah. And then Andy Schultz is coming on. Andy Schultz won't write Andy. And we're going to do the history of fucking mob,

of like, you know, yeah, mobs. Yeah. Like, yeah. Does he know about this yet? Yeah. He confirmed he's down. He's down. Does he know about this yet? Yeah. He confirmed he's down. He's down.

When is it? Next week? Yeah. Who's that? Oh, here we go. We're back. Yeah. Did it even stop?

I don't think it stopped. I think it just kept going. Yeah. Okay. You okay? Everything all right? Yeah. Everything's all right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're going to do it. Lynch mobs, you know, it's all types of fun. It's just mob justice has been around forever. We're going to really get into it. Right been around forever We're gonna really get into it Right

We're gonna get into it I can't wait Like say you did an episode on it Like without me It was kinda My feelings would kinda hurt You even did an episode Without me cuz

Yeah well cuz I did two without you Because all I do Honestly when I'm not with you All I do is think about The times when I'm with you Yeah me too Yeah

Yo cuz you wanna take The ball tomorrow Yeah You gotta go to Uncle Vinay. And you're going to be at a... Bananas Comedy Club. We're both going back to Jersey.

Yeah, cuz, listen, when you... Cuz, are we becoming Jersey Comics? We're becoming Jersey Comics. Bad, yeah. And that's just a sign of a bad career. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what it is, guys?

Yeah, listen. You know, I know, like, you know, it's interesting, like, you know, people come up to us a lot, you know, and talk about comedy. And, you know, it's interesting like you know people come up to us a lot you know and talk about comedy and you know it's interesting we were at the borgata the other day and somebody came some woman came up to us and you know she granted she doesn't mean anything by it she doesn't know she asked us if if if if she was like oh she was like do you know this other comic and she said the comic's name and was telling us how great that comic was but the truth is that comic teaches a comedy class so it's's like, that's good. That's okay.

Whatever. Do what you got to do. But it's like, don't come up. The woman who came up to us, she also said that one day we'll make it. One day we'll catch our break. And the bottom line is, is this woman is,

we know her. She works at a DJ business. And it's like, the thing is, you're good. You know, DJing is great, whatever. But the problem is, it's like sometimes people come up to us and just say things to us. Yeah. And they kind of talk down to us and they're being disrespectful because they've never heard of us because we're not Jerry Seinfeld.

The bottom line is, is that every day of mine and Mr. Freddy Fettucese's life feels like a Sunday morning. Also, Obi-Wan Cucknobby. Obi-Wan Cucknobby. So you don't have to come up to us. Not you. Cuck Noby. Obi-Wan Cuck Noby. So you don't have to come up to us.

Not you. I'm saying people who have done this to other comedians or other people they've seen on the studio that they noticed from TV and make us feel like we're not doing anything. Because the truth is to that woman who's the DJ, it's like I'm, look, we both need to exist. I sit here and think about life and try to push life forward. And you tell people to do the electric slide. And that's fine. Okay? And that's fine.

You have your place. I have mine. I don't think I'm any better than you or any worse. I think we're all going to the same place at the end. But don't come up to me and patronize me because you've never heard of me. Because the bottom line is you're loading your DJ equipment into the back of your Subaru every fucking day getting yelled at by a patriarch of some family who paid probably $10,000 to have you and your company there. And all you do is go around and try to get people to dance on the dance floor. And you think you matter more than me because you've never heard of me.

And the truth is, when you say maybe I'll catch my break one day, yeah, maybe I will because I'm going to keep trying. But guess who's never going to catch a break? You. Okay? And that was what we call Steel Pipe Chrissy. Yeah. Clean it house. Yeah. I've just had a little bit. You had too much. You fucking had it up to here. I've had it up to when people come up. When you're sick and you're grouchy, that's when it comes out. Yeah. People forgot it. Somebody came up to me. Somebody came up to me, took a picture

and then the person who was taking the picture, one person recognized me and the other person did it. And the person taking the picture said, oh, my friend, my friend recognized you, but I don't know who you are. Guess what? I don't know who you are either. Okay. I've never seen or heard of you fucking Steve from Patterson, New Jersey. Fuck you. Okay. That's the truth. Whether you've heard of me or not, fine. Your friend wants to take a picture, take a picture. Oh, what show do I know you from? I don't fucking know. Okay. I'm not inside your fucking head. You know me from summer. You want to take a picture? Fine. You don't, I don't give a fuck. I'm walking to Dunkin' Donuts to get a crispy. I'm walking to Dunkin' Donuts to get a crispy cream.

I'm walking to Dunkin' Donuts to get a Boston cream donut and a French vanilla coffee with almond milk. So listen. Yeah, you just mixed up two donuts. Yeah. You said you were going to get a Dunkin'. You're going to Boston Donuts to get a crispy cream. Yeah.

Yeah. You jerk off to those bags. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I need a fucking NyQuil. Yeah.

Yeah. But so the truth is, look, we appreciate the support. But if you want to take a picture with somebody who you know, then just take the picture. We don't need any more comments or anything else. Like, oh, I don't know who you are. Or, you know, hey, you know, why don't you tell me something funny? That's the worst thing you could ever do to a comedian. Say, why don't you tell me a joke?

Why don't you go stick your head in a fucking toilet bowl? Okay, because guess what? Most of the time, comedians off stage aren't funny we're depressed miserable fucks thinking about the fucking intrinsic details of human society to try to make it funny and the truth is when you look back when we look back and try to write autobiographical jokes there's a lot of pain there that's why you laugh at it because you're laughing at the pain that we're trying to make funny we're trying to basically you know make something that's really hurtful kind of palatable For ourselves

It's cathartic for us And for the audience So next time you see A comedian that you think Is that you recognize From somewhere Just say Hey good job

Can I take a picture I'd be glad to I don't need any Of the extra commentary About how your friend Doesn't know who I am Or about how You know

Do you know this comic Or that comic Or when you're gonna Get on SNL When are you gonna Shut your fucking mouth And just snap the fucking photo? That's what I'm talking about.

And if you don't, you're going to get a fucking steel pipe to the head courtesy of fucking Ridgewood Queens, baby. Yeah, and I definitely, now that I'm talking, I got the throat and the tongue pain. I definitely think I got hand-mouth foot disease. But you thought you had that two weeks ago. Yeah, but I have it again yeah yeah you're you are uh you are a neurotic kid yeah because you thought you had that two weeks ago as well yeah but you didn't have it I don't think you have if you do you're a big kid I think you'll be able your immune system will be able to handle it oh yeah cause you're gonna be okay burnt out now here's the thing also the woman one of the women he's talking about i was there it's like she did

know who we were she actually came to the place we were because she knew we were there yeah and she tried to say something to make it it's like it you to different you're not gonna just say hello just say hey you guys are funny or whatever or like or hey i'm trying to be a comedian so we can just pretend to listen and ignore you forever yeah it doesn't if you're telling us you're you're you wanted to be you want to be a comedian you know it's like say it we'll pretend to listen and then we'll move on with our life because the truth is nobody cares we don't fucking care we appreciate the support we appreciate the business we love it we're we hope that we're making you laugh but if when and if you see us in person if you want to say hello that's fine if you don't want to say hello that see us in person, if you want to say hello, that's fine. If you don't want to say hello,

that's fine too. We just, whatever you want to do. But just understand when you enter our space, just be kind as we would be kind to you because there's a lot of things that people say. Maybe they're nervous.

Maybe they're not. Where they just say things where they kind of talk down to us and it's just a little frustrating. Yeah, yeah. It's just like, you know, just be a nice guy. We're nice guys.

And look, we're actually not miserable. We have a good time. Me and Chrissy have a great time. We're nice guys. And look, we're actually not miserable. We have a good time. You and Chrissy have a great time. Yeah. We hang out. We skip a lot. Yeah, we skip. We go on fucking boats.

Yeah, we do. We do good things. I went fucking dolphin hunting. Yeah. Not dolphin hunting. I went to go watch dolphins. I had two ice creams this weekend. Yeah, I had three.

Yeah. Not on different days. Right then and there. Yeah. Remember, I got one. Yeah. Who goes back and gets a second ice cream? But you got rules that you live by in your own head, which is dope.

That's what I do. Because you have the two ice creams, but you haven't had a sweet since. That's right. I said, since I did that, I'm done. But then on the way home last night, I had a Whopper and a Gold Rush sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. Did you shit your pants?

You got pale white thighs. Yeah. Out of the periphery, they just almost blinded me. Yeah. And then you got little dookies like that. Yeah. What about the girth of them? Fucking,

they are blindingly pale, though. Yeah. Yeah. But you lean back and I was like, it was like reflected off the sun. But do I got a tan face? You do, yeah.

Yeah, but you're an Irish, you got Irish genes and there's not a lot of tanning that you can do. Because, they used to burn people. I listened to the episode you did without me,

which is the Salem Witch Trials. Right. They used to burn a lot I listened to the episode you did without me, which is the Salem Witch Trials. Right. They used to burn a lot of those women. Yeah, unfortunately they did. They just burned. There was a period where you just get burned, which is interesting. I loved listening to the episode. Most of it was talking to Soul Joel.

Kung Fu Panda. Kung Fu Panda. Yeah. He was a great guest. Great guest. He's fucking wild. Yeah. He's the, and.

Yeah. Listen. If's, and, yeah. If you're 80 years old and above, he'll have sex with you. He will do. He will. I tell you, I told him what he does, he should get a tax deduction for what he does. Yeah. He's looking at women who haven't been looked at like that in over 20 years. You know what that feels like to be a 60-year-old have a man like that? Yeah. Look at you young. Yeah. And he looks at you like he looks at them like they are the most beautiful, like they're like they're Sidney Crawford or something. Yeah. Like the most

beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life. Yeah. It's all green light go with him. Yeah. No hang ups. Yeah. He's ready to go. And he knows these women are, he knows these women know he's not going to make them feel insecure at all. Nope. And that's really a woman's dream. They want to feel sexy the whole way through. Yep. And they know a lot of these cuck guys, you know, like me. Yeah.

I'm going to be looking at imperfections, making it a slow rush. Yeah. You and Joel, green light fucking go. Doesn't matter. You guys are like matador bulls. Absolutely. You go. You don't give a shit. I don't fucking care at all.

You don't look at any perfections of the feet. Couldn perfections of the feet couldn't care less you couldn't care less good kid but it's wild that these people came to america to escape religious persecution and found in this country and then burning people it just shows you human nature is what it is it is what it is and we're fucking you know we're evolved from the killer apes that's what it is we're just evolved from literally killer apes if you go back on our dna we are we gotta come from the killer apes That's what it is We're just evolved from Literally killer apes If you go back on our DNA We come from the killer apes So that's what it is

We're super tribal And then we did the episode You Weren't At Just to recap the ones That we both weren't there Did you enjoy it? You probably didn't listen to any of them Yeah, because I didn't do anything

Yeah, you haven't done anything We got to try to listen to them Just so we can make them better Yeah, I mean Yeah,'t do anything. Yeah, you haven't done anything. Yeah. We gotta try to listen to them just so we can make them better. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, right now... Are we... Is this a good podcast? I think it's good. Can you guys write on the Patreon wall if you think it's a good podcast? Patreon.com slash BayRichBoys.

Also, another thing we want to start is send us your questions. Any question you want answered, me and Chris, post it on the community wall On Patreon Or just fucking DM us We don't have to give you

An email address Or anything like that Yeah Go to Instagram And DM us You're picking your nose In my house Yeah cause

I'm sorry You gotta stop Cause we should've been Filming this too I know we should've Yeah But send us DM me or Chris me

Chris any of your questions We will respond to you And it is what it is yeah yeah homo sapiens sapiens that's what we are yeah yeah and we that episode we covered how many different types of hominids there were there was a lot yeah because there was a time where like there was like a type of hominid that was like i don't know if it was a hominid but he's between what we are now and monkeys how long how long is that and it used to get eaten by those fucking, those cats that don't exist anymore. Sabertooth tigers.

And the other ones. Fila something. Yeah. Some fucking name of cat that used to eat us. All the fucking time. There was actually one cat who evolved to eat us. You know how certain animals evolved to be able to kill their prey specifically?

Say something quick and like talk for a little bit. I'm going to find what it is. It's something, a feline something. Yeah, Giannis is doing that. If you're a doctor out there, tell me what I need to do because I got a pimple on my tongue and a sore throat. The last time I had a health problem, I had an ass problem and I had to get a colonoscopy.

So this feels, you know, maybe it's a sore throat, maybe it's a little allergies. I don't fucking know. But I'll tell you what. Just from being in Giannis' house, we have two polished off bottles of Metamucil and three boxes of Fiber One. So what that tells me is this kid is taking solid shits. He's getting enough fiber for a fucking army. And he probably would have taken runny dumps before this.

Were you not? The thing is when you get to a certain age, it's like, yeah, like I said. I might have just said that before earlier. You cannot have a normal shit without consciously, proactively loading up on fiber. Plus, what I want to talk to you about too is that people want to know because we know from your Instagram you went to Portland. So we want to know, did the cucks get you? Wow. Did they get you?

Portland is wild Yeah, because that's kind of like You look with your look, with your glasses And your opinions, like that's your home Yeah, you know what it is? Did Portland feel like home? No Portland makes you feel really right wing when you're not Really?

That's how crazy the left is The left has gotten so left that they're almost right. Why? What did Portland do? They're just so, I mean, what I mean by that they're almost right

is they're so intolerant in their tolerance. It's just hilarious. I mean, I don't know because I saw like a bunch of people I couldn't tell whether they were, look, if you're going to be trans, I love trans people.

Me too. Some of them are really hot, you know? Yeah. Yeah, you've made almost a million dollars portraying a trans character. I mean, trans people are very interesting and I believe people are born like, there's all types of variations in nature. Obviously gay people have been around forever.

Trans people have been around forever. It's part of nature. It is what it is. But especially now with science and everything like that, some of them started a little earlier and they pull it off. You know, where they look female. And then other ones, it's like maybe they started doing it yesterday. And you're like, that's a dude.

That just looks like a dude with purple hair and like a gut. And like he's, you know, he's got like a stuffed bra on. And it's fucking a little wild. I don't have a problem with it. But it's just everywhere in Portland. That's what it is. Because the motto of the city is stay weird, Portland. I thought it was Austin.

No, keep Portland weird is also. That's Portland too. Portland might be the original. Interesting. I thought it was keep Austin weird. Yeah, it's real. Whenever you're in Portland, you read the forecast. They're probably like, you know, it's going to be 72 today

with a chance of teargrass around 2 p.m. Yeah. There's always going to be a riot. There's always going to be a protest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't laugh very often.

Chance of teargrass was falling. Yeah, that is a good one. Yeah. Yeah, because we got to. I can't talk anymore. It's starting to get to the point where I. Well, how long have we been going? Let's see.

Let's see. I'll tell you right now. I can't find the name of that cat. We're at 55 minutes. It's a feli-something. We're at about 55 minutes, cuz. All right. So, yeah, I think, you know, it is what it is.

We're going to come back on... Cuz, you didn't like the Millard Fillmore? Millard Fillmore. Donald Trump. Is Trump more like him or is Trump more like Andrew Jackson? Andrew Jackson was a fucking wild dude. He was fucking wild. We're going to do an episode on Andrew Jackson.

And I said that on the cast that we are going to do that. We're eventually going to do. For a long time, I thought Andrew Jackson was Stonewall Jackson. I know. That ain't true. I know because you're a fucking cute kid. But guess what? Stonewall Jackson used to go to church in Bay fucking Ridge, cuz.

I know. You're a cute fucking kid. You're also, maybe the saber tooth was like the nickname for it. It was feel like something. It actually, the way its head was shaped was evolved to like crack open the skulls of our, like, you know,

mixture of monkey hominid, you know, that's kind of eaten by a fucking cat to grab the head like that. And its jaw had evolved Would rip it's scalp open Just like Crack our heads open Like a fucking walnut And I can't remember the name of it

Feli something F-E-L-I Something Is the type of cat Feli Cat I'm trying to google Why don't you just google

Feli cat Cat that used to crack open skull Or Yeah Yeah talk for a second Yeah why don't you just google Cat That used to Cat that evolved to eat early hominid. Correct.

Yeah. There you go. Just put that in and then the fucking computer will figure it out for you. Yeah, we live in an interesting time. It's amazing that we've lived in a time where finally the internet has created an apparatus that you can unify us and we've never been more... Yeah. Separated. Yeah, how funny is that? internet has created an apparatus that you can unify us and we've never been more separated. Yeah, how funny is that? We've never been more divided in the time

we've had the most tools to unify us. Well, that just tells you fucking human resistance, what it is. Alright, cuz. What do you think? I think we did good. Alright. Well, look, guys. This episode, this is just a placeholder episode

Okay so we appreciate you listening to the Oh wait here we go got a fart on deck here we go There you go Oh Jesus I think it was actually the saber tooth Alright So this is This is just kind of a recap podcast

Next podcast we're coming We're going to talk about the USS Indianapolis. And let me tell you guys something. The history of that gets fucking nuts. Well, or we're going to talk, or the next one's going to be the one with Schultz. We don't know. Or the one with Schultz. We don't know. Both of those are going to happen.

Both of those are going to happen. It's going to be fucking nuts. Thank you guys so much for your support. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. You can follow me at Christy Comedy on all social media. Giannis Pappas, you know the deal. You know what it is. Tell your friends. You don't know how

important that is. Word of mouth. Proactively text, email, or message your friend with the link. Hey, here's a podcast I love. You should check it out. And also when they start loving it, because of course, how are they not going to love this?

Remind them for them to tell their fucking friends. Let's go. That's it. Let's increase the matriarchy. Love you guys. Matriarch out. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ you you