History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 36 - Germanic Tribes were WILD!

Episode Date: October 14, 2018

Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano returned from Germany and decided to talk Germanic Tribes!! Before they do, they go over their new Patreon levels that have truly changed from today. The Germanic tribes came from Northern Europe migrating to Italy, Africa, United Kingdom, etc. And from the tribes came Anglo-Saxons, blond and red-haired babes that had no fumes! The Hyenas also recall the group that first mentions them, the Romans and they dive into the wild stories of Roman Emperor Julius Caesar! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Long Duck Dong is about your age, Sam. You two should have a lot to chat about. I love visiting with Grandma and Grandpa and writing letters to parents and pushing lawn mowing machines so Grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed. ស្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែល Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas with the two very mature hosts, Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas. Yeah, how you doing? I am very mature. Absolutely.

Yes, and yeah, we're doing an episode today No farts today, guys No farts, no talking about pseudo-penises No calling anyone true blue gays No calling anything cute We're just going to talk politics And that's it We want to be on the right side of history

That's the most important part about all of this I want to be on the alt-right side of history We are not Louis C.K. I am, yes, I am not Louis C.K. And I do not stand for what he did. Look, we are two funny guys who are, most importantly, not Louis C.K. And I'm not, and I understand

that being a straight white male is historically evil, and I just apologize, and I understand that I could be doing better, and I could be less white. Hold on, Isis is getting a call from the caliphate. Who's calling? I think that's ISIS's phone.

And he's getting a call. Oh, there's Rafi. Yeah. It says, Abdul Mahadi Adi. Mahadi Adi. Mahadi Adi. Mahadi Adi. Yeah, there.

Allah Akbar. Allah Akbar. Yeah. So here we are back. We hope you enjoyed the last episode. We talked about Germany, our trip. We're two different people now. I'm telling you, we're two different kids.

Yeah. I fucking had a great time in Germany. And to be honest with you, coming back, I just, even though I'm ethnically German, I found out through Ancestry.com, I feel less German than I ever have because I don't like their food. And I think historically what they did was wrong. Yeah, I mean, you've increasingly become more and more of a Pakistani kid. Listen. And it's what it is. The truth is what I also found out on Ancestry.com is I'm just a Filipino kid from Madagascar and it's what it is.

You know what happened today though? What? Today's the first time I've ever seen you eat the enemy's food. I did. Today. I was very shocked. I have a little rule. I almost called General Donald Trump on you. Yeah. We went to the Mediterranean store in Bay Ridge

which got the best Middle Eastern food I've had but I have a loose rule. The thing is, if we're at war, if the United States is at war with that country, then I'm at war with their food. I won't eat the enemy's food. So if I was alive in the 40s, no sushi for you, boy. No Vietnamese sandwiches in the 60s. No Russian food during the 60s, no Russian food during the Cold War,

no Middle Eastern food since about 1991. Because since Desert Storm, make no mistake, we've had boots on the ground in the Middle East, and unfortunately, until the last boot comes off the ground, I can't eat your food. I'm at war with hummus. It is

what it is. So as long as there's a rubber sole in that country with an American boy on top of that rubber sole, you're not touching that cuisine. Because as long as the boys are in your country, I'm not going to eat your food. What if they're on a base,

though? What if they're just like, because a lot of German American bases are German. No, no, no. I mean, in conflict. If the boys are getting shot at, I'm not going to eat your food. It's just what it is. It's the way I give back to the USA. It's called the Chrissy D. Rule of Cuisine. It's called the Chrissy D. Rule of Cuisine.

It's just the Treaty of Chrissy D. I won't eat the enemy's food. But you did today. But I did today. What happened today? Because I think you got a little tahini on your salmon. I got a little tahini on some salmon. What happened did today. But I did today. What happened today? Because I think you got a little tahini on your salmon. I got a little tahini on some salmon. What happened was today. I said he ate your cuisine.

It's because make no mistake. Black Mouth! Make no mistake. Although I always am at war with the enemy's food, I'm also always at war with sweets. Therefore, I am a pre-diabetic, so the kid's blood sugar got a little low. Yeah, you had to. I had to get a fucking nimble. You know what the funny thing is?

Today, I was over at your house, and I can't hear Chrissy, by the way. I have new stools. Is he okay? Can we hear him? Can you hear me? Because I can't hear him in my headphones or anything. Maybe your ears don't work anymore. I was over at your house today, and...

What do you think of my stools? Your stools are great. You got them at Wayfair. Wayfair! They look real. They look real. They look real. That's the most I can say. But make no mistake, they're Puerto Rican leather.

Yeah. Yeah, it's what it is. When you bought them, you told me they were leather, but then I took a good sniff of them today. Yeah. It smells like Toys R Us. It's what it is. And you opened the fridge because you wanted to show off that you put your shelves up. Yeah.

And you forgot that you had snuck ice cream M&M cookies in there. Yeah. And you said, oh, those are for my daughter. It's getting that bad because where you're using your daughter to hide your sweets addiction. You know what? Because that's why I jogged today. That's why I'm trying to drink waters. I'm going to fucking follow the Jihadi with a body diet.

And Zach just told us it's 7 o'clock at night. He has not eaten yet. It's 8 p.m. He said he eats from 8 p.m. to 3 a.m. So that's just what I'm going to start to do. Yeah, but Zach the Jihadi with the body is 23 years old. So I don't even know why he's dieting at all. Why is Zach 23 years old but has the body hair of a 59-year-old?

Kaka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kaka, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Cute. Because he's from the Middle East. That's why. Yeah. They're hairy people. I'm from the Middle East. I'm 26% of fucking Mesopotamian.

You're a swarthy kid, right? Yeah. You're swarthy. Because I feel like I want to do Ancestry.com. Or should I do 23andMe? Which one's the best one? Well, I think Ancestry.com tells you where you're from. Doesn't 23andMe tell you if you have like diseases or something?

I think so. Do you know, Zach? You're asking him. He's 23. Now every time we look at him, I'm going to be like, why are we asking a 23-year-old anything? Yeah, you have your thumb in your mouth. Fucking millennial fuck. Yeah.

Yeah. So look, we just hope that you work your sweets problem out. That's all I'm saying. Cuz, how's your heartburn? You've been having debilitating heartburn as of late. Are you a GERD girl? Like me? Because I'm a GERD girl.

I didn't even know. You freaked me out yesterday because I didn't know. I have constant heartburn. I've had pizza every day since we've been back for Journey. Cuz, first of all, we could call Dr. Nick anytime. Because I'm sure he does asses and throats. Wherever you can put a scope in he knows he's ass to mouth

Dr. Nick so what kind of doctor is he he's an ass to mouth doctor so it's what it is do you think I've done some real damage in there well I think the level that you eat pizza is alarming

that's the word I use to describe your I mean the way that you eat pizza is alarming. That's the word I use to describe your life. I mean, the way you suck down two slices in a minute flat at Joe's Pizza in the West Village last night had me and Debo a little concerned. Yo, I had pizza last night for Dina and pizza for breakfast today. Yeah, make no mistake. You came into my house this morning at 1030 in the morning and you ate two ravioli vodka slices and a mozzarella stick frozen. You didn't even put it in the microwave. You know what is alarming, though? What?

You always have ravioli pizza and mozzarella sticks in your refrigerator. Yeah. It's my daughter's favorite kind of pizza. Yeah. Everything is, you could always blame on your three-year-old daughter. Your three-year-old daughter. Because your three-year-old daughter has not been in your house since you did Amazon Fresh and that M&M ice cream cookies box was open.

No. Well, here's the truth. We ate one. She slept over the other night, and we were watching Peppa Pig on YouTube, and she wanted ice cream, so she took a little bite, and then she fell asleep, and I ate the rest. It's what it is. You know what's funny is it would be impossible to have... There. You know what's funny is it would be impossible to have a gas.

You live with gas. I'm a gassed out kid. You know what's funny is I only have gas at certain times. I couldn't summon up gas at will. You seem to always have farts loaded up. Isn't that a sign of a healthy body? I don't know. Let's ask keto expert, Jihadi with a body, Zach Isis.

Why don't we ask Dr. Ass to Mouth? Get him on the phone. You want to call him up? No. He's probably sitting in traffic in Long Island. Yeah. Remember I just sent him pictures of my shit? Yeah. I'm doing a show, I think, of his community's church.

He's a Greek kid. Oh, is that the Long Island show? It's the Long Island show. We're I'm doing a show, I think, of his community's church. He's a Greek kid. Oh, is that the Long Island show? It's the Long Island show. We're going pumpkin picking that day, cuz. Should we invite the hyena, the matriarchy, to pumpkin pick with us? Which one? The matriarchy. No.

No, no, no. No, we don't know them. We're not friends. But guess what, people? We are redoing our Patreon. And one of the options, you guys are going to be able to get real close to us now We got one option It's called the Chrissy D special

Is it called the Chrissy D special? No but we should have called it that Tell them about it You can tell them Pull it up while I say this So I'm doing this show in Long Island All the Greek shows are through All the Greek shows I've done

They're all through the church. And Dr. Nick, I guess this is the church he grew up in, they got me on like 30,000 diner placemats. 30,000? It's like if you go to a Greek diner or whatever part of Long Island it's in, you will see my face on a Greek diner placemat. Have you been getting getting tons of pictures? I just, you know your career is cooking when you're on a fucking diner placemat. Well, look, our careers are cooking now because of you guys, and we've updated and renewed our Patreon page. It's patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.

I'm just going to read you what the new revamped Patreon is, and you're going to go on it yourself. You're going to tell your friends, and it's going to be fucking dope. So patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Here's what you get. First, before you start, I just want to say we know the people who were in the dollar category. Yeah. We know you guys can handle this. So go ahead.

Go ahead. Yeah, and don't worry. Anybody who's an existing Patreon member now, you'll be locked in at your rate. This is for new people. If you want to upgrade, it's what it is. You tell your friends. Oh, so those people are just grandfathered. They can just stay where they're at?

Of course. All right. Yeah. So the $5 option, this is the lowest option. This is the $5 option, $60 a year. It's not a big deal. $5 option is called the Cuz We Was lowest option. This is the $5 option. $60 a year. It's not a big deal. $5 option. It's called the Cuzzy Wuzzy's option.

You get all the episodes of the podcast, History Hyenas, our fucking party. And then on Thursday, you get all the History Hyena podcasts on Thursday before anybody else. Normally, we put this pumpy out on iTunes on Sundays, but you get it on Thursday because you're a fucking Cuzzy Wuzzy and you're a cute kid. iTunes, Google Play, SoundCloud, everywhere. Everywhere. And you'll get your name shouted out at the end of the pod. Yes. And we will not forget. Yes.

We do have some people that I will shout out today because I have a file of all you fucking people who are sending that you didn't get your name on it, so we'll make sure we read those out today. But you're going to get your name right out at the end of every podcast for $5, alright? And that means you're a cuzzy wuzzy. Now, $10 option. What is the $10 option? What do we call them?

What do we call them? Those were called the... Were they called the cuties? They might be called the cuties at smoothies or the true blue gays. Oh, no, they were called the hyenas. Oh, the $10 are the hyenas. Yeah. So you get everything the cuzzy wuzzies get, but you also get a bonus Patreon exclusive walk and talk with the boys.

Yeah. Yeah, where we walk around wherever we're at, Bay Ridge, any neighborhood, any country, and we walk and talk. And we give you guys a podcast just about what we're thinking about at that time. It's just basically hanging out with us while we walk. That's what it is, but you'll listen to the fucking funniest. Go ahead. Wow. That was what it is, but you'll listen to the fucking, the funniest... Go ahead. Wow! That was Giannis. Yeah!

Yeah. Wow, that was interesting. We have different sounding butts. Wow, the mic smells now. We should do a Guess Whose Butt That Came Out of contest. We should. The next fart, let's do that. Yeah, Guess Whose Butt.

Yeah, so... Guess Whose Butt Yeah. Guess who's butt. To reiterate, five bucks, you get the podcast early on Thursday. That is four days early. You also get the bonus podcast, and you get to know you're a fucking producer of our content. It's the best thing in the world. Yeah, and then the $10 option gets you all that plus the walk and talks now the $25 option yeah which is what are we calling the $25 we're calling those kiddies what smooth okay the $25 options are just coyotes for this option

you get everything the hyenas and the cuzzy wuzzies get and the cuzzy wuzzy levels get which make no mistake, is a lot. But this is where these next two options get fucking wild. They get wild. Because we will, for $25 a month, not only do you get all that stuff that was previously mentioned, but you also get an option where we will call and talk to you live on the podcast. How fucking wild is that? We're going to call and talk to you once a month on the fucking potty waddy.

You get to be on this podcast once a month. We call you. Yeah. I mean, the only person ever to do that is Rafael DeLuca and Jen Begakis, and now they're both missing. Okay. Now, this last. Oh, and Dr. Nick, a.k.a.

Ass to Mouth. And the last option, this option, if you have seatbelts, if you're in your car, pull over. If you're sitting, if you're standing up, sit down. If you have a drink, put it on a coaster. Because this option is called the Matriarch Hyena Pseudopenis Full Toot Level. And this is, this is, bear with us, this is for $250 a month. Wow. $250 a month to go full pseudo penis toot.

You get everything from the previous levels. Plus, how fucking wild is this? Fucking wild is this. For once a month, we will make a personalized video of you and post it on our own social media. For you. For you. Yeah. So whatever video you want, we're going to make it for you, and you can collaborate with us, no problem. We're going to put it on mine and Giannis' all our social media.

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Google Play, whatever. That's over 230,000 followers combined. Even more if we involve Twitter. And even more. So 230,000 plus. And we're also going to throw in an autographed Bay Ridge Boys t-shirt and free tickets for you and a guest

to see me or Giannis do stand-up whenever you want for your whole life. Did you just hear that? Your whole fucking life. Your whole fucking life. Whenever you want to see comedy, it's on the house for me and Giannis. Whenever you want to go see Chris do stand-up or me do stand-up or whatever we're doing,

two free tickets whenever the fuck you want. And if you made it to this level, make no mistake, you're a toot. But you're a fucking loaded toot. And Chrissy D, me especially, I will do anything you ask, even if it means killing Giannis. Just fucking DM me.

For $250 a month, that's the Matriarch Hyena Pseudo Penis Full Toot level. Yeah. And that's our new Patreon, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We got a lot of you. Thank you. I think we're up to about 240 matriarchy members on our channel. Yes. Listen, we just want to thank you personally, man.

If you want uncensored content, this is the way to do it in 2018. Right. You guys support us directly. You don't need Hollywood anymore. You don't need producers. You don't need networks. You don't need studios. You guys support us.

We have a ball together. You're part of our family, and we continue this journey. Who knows? One day we may just do a fucking history hyena softball game. Yeah. What if we just did a dodgeball game one day? Yeah. We invited everyone.

We'll go to your city. We'll do a show, and we'll also do a fucking daytime dodgeball game. It'll be fucking great. Rafael DeLuca will be the DJ. Jen Begac Because his age will change Every inning Fucking Jihadi with a body

Will be doing CrossFit Butt naked With fucking explosive Tied to his piece Because how good an idea Is that though? That's a fucking great idea Yo

When we start hitting the road We will do History tours in your city A live show in your city Yeah And make no mistake One of those days We're just tweet out, we're playing dodgeball at this park. Yeah. And we're bringing Zach Isis, and we're going to have a dodgeball game in your city.

In your fucking city, cuz. Yickity, yeah. Yickity, yeah. And this is just, and guys, fucking join Patreon. Tell your friends, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. The clock is fucking ticking To the day Krista Teacher Finds out where we do

Our studio from And kills us all So we just want to get Some fucking money For our coffins Yeah And Jen Bacakis We love you

We fucking love you Jen Even though you're a regular On every single podcast In New York City Just know we found you babe We found her We really did rock We found Jen Bacakis

His true talent And I wish that she would Call into the pod once in a while, send us a message, and just let us know how she's doing, because, I mean, she's fucking everywhere now. Yeah. Jenny Babes. And Rafael DeLuca just got left in dust. Rafael DeLuca goes to every Yankee game.

Wearing a Bay Ridge Boys t-shirt. We appreciate that. Rafael DeLuca is the number one pseudo-penis. Yeah. Nobody beats him. Rafael DeLuca has been reigning PPW Pseudo-Penis of the Week since February. There's no one even close. We get some wild messages now.

There's some wild fans. I'm not talking about Chris the Teacher level or Rafael DeLuca level. But they're getting close. But I tell you, no matter what you say, no matter what you offer us, I don't think you're ever going to be able to top Rafael De Luca Because make no mistake I think he sleeps in the Bay Ridge Boys shirt And wears it every day

I believe so too I think he does and I think he's probably copied And he made like Bay Ridge Boys pajamas Bay Ridge Boys welcome mats And this is going to become a song At some point By the way Let me just do this now Let me read out instead of wait until the end of the podcast

We'll do it in the middle here You know half these people are probably lying Well, whatever Just for this time, I'm going to read you guys out I'm sorry that we missed your name on the Patreon I'm sorry that we missed your name on the Patreon shoutouts last episode But we just want to do what's right And again, if you've joined our Patreon, if you went to

patreon.com slash bayridgeboys and you have not received your name, if you haven't heard your name on the shoutout of an episode, just DM me. Chris D Comedy. I'll respond to it. I'll make sure. Giannis will leave you unseen. That's just what it is. Okay, so the first one is Lay Bassey.

L-E-Y-B-A-S-S-Y. That's their Instagram. I'm sorry I didn't shout you out. The last name is produced Solak Suba. It translates to left-handed water boss chief. Shout me out, because even though you're Turkish, he said. He's a Turk? He's a Turk. Oh, all right. Well, you know,

so am I. So, assalamu alaikum, brother. Then the other person is Kaysen, C-A-S-E-N dot car, C-A-R-R. I'm sorry we forgot you. You gave us a fire TBG suggestion about Egypt. Trope bloke guy. Trope bloke guy.

So we will definitely do Egypt for you, Kaysen. Thanks for your support. Then we have Austin underscore Ireland underscore. He says this is the third week in a row His name hasn't been read He's about to run up in the studio with 12 midgets And let them do unspeakable things to your cute ass While Giannis Pippity Poppies watches Well make no mistake He is so active

As a fan that I recognize his name Because he comments everywhere Austin, salute You're a cute kid Thank you Austin The next guy, his name is Andrew Edgar Leon Berkovich. Jewed out bad. Jewed out bad.

Level 10. Yeah, level 10. And his fucking Instagram name is Chef Boy Andy. Yeah. Yeah, he's chewed out. Then the other one. That name comes with a Y. I feel like we should put yarmulkes on to read that name.

Yeah. I feel fucking, yeah. Bershkowitz? Recircumcised. Yarmulke's on to read that name. Yeah. I feel fucking, yeah. Bershkowitz?

Recircumcised. The next person, Tushotnell. T-W-O-S-H-O-T-N-E-L-L. Thank you for your support. That's a young black kid who's got a burgeoning rap career. Well, he says that we make— Didn't he say at the end, yo, let me get you—read my demo on your episode. Well, no. He said you literally make my work week way more bearable. And make no mistake, I think it's a woman.

Oh, I totally messed that one up. I don't see gender. Next, we have Edward Dale. Instagram, Big Mush. He says, you missed me on the shout out. Try to get me next week. Thanks, Edward Dale, Big Mush. We're sorry about that, Big Mush.

The next person who joined, Melanie Ann Foley. Face underscore bot So she's probably just a bot Yeah she could be a Russian toot And Lauren Nicole Send a message on Patreon Thanks girl So if we missed anybody else let us know

But thank you guys so much for being a part of the matriarchy You're the newest members So we just want to say Thank you so much for being there for us and for all your support. You're truly tyrannical and we thank you for your service. Most importantly,

tell your friends. Share the links. You know what people are doing, which is really spreading the word for the podcast? Is they're taking a screenshot of the episode they're listening to or whatever photo you want to do or however creative you want to get. And they're putting it in their own Instagram stories. They're tagging us in it.

Yes. You do that. We will repost it. But that's a great way to tell the people who follow you, your friends and family, about the podcast that you enjoy. That podcast being History Hyenas. Hyenas. That's right. Yeah. Hyenas. Hyenas. That's right. Yeah, so thank you so much.

But yeah, so today's episode, you want to talk about Germanic tribes, you said? I mean, we are just, since we're phasing out of, you know, our trip from Germany, we figured that we would continue on and piggyback off of last week's episode and talk about the origins of the German people. It's so wild. Because pretty much every country that exists came out of Germanic tribes. Because Europe was like, Europe was no different than Africa. It was no different than North America, South America, Asia.

People are tribal. For most of our history, it's tribal. And Europe was just packed with different tribes. It's hard to keep track of the amount of tribes. And the reason we know about these tribes and the reason these tribes have names is pretty much because of Roman historians who recorded generals killing them. Yeah, well, you know, in the 5th century, that's about when the Roman Empire started to lose their power. First of all, if I ever went to a class and my history teacher had your accent. Yeah.

Yeah, I would get out of that school immediately. Yeah, if I was like. Because the way you just started that. Well, first of all, in the 5th century, we had a couple of guys. Yeah. No, unfortunately, what happened is, you know, around the 5th century, the Italians, we start, you know, the Roman Empire, we start to fucking, you know, take a little, we start to take a few blows. So. Blows.

And this is when the Germanic people, because the Germanic people were just, they were the barbarians, right? I mean, that's what the Romans referred to them as. They're more barbaric. And they were just because, but really, they were just nomads. I mean, they were just wandering people. The word barbarian actually comes from the ancient Greeks. So this is before Roman times. And the Greeks, the word barbarian actually means just not Greek.

So if you were a barbarian, it became a pejorative, you know, much like the way you can say Jew now. Yeah. You just say Jew. People are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, buddy. You're like, no, I just thought you were a Jew. And they're like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. Like, that's a, buddy. You're like, no, I just thought you were a Jew. And they're like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. Like, that's a little aggressive.

It's like, I'm describing you because you're a Jew. Yeah, you have curls and a yarmulke and you're diving for pennies. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. Honestly, I'm joking. The last part was a hack fucking grandpa joke. I'm just kidding.

It's fine. It's fine. You're anti-Semitic and that's what it is. I'm German. It's your German. You can't help it. Yeah. We needed to clean the – yeah.

We needed one to clean the palate there. Yeah. Yeah, because once in a while Chrissy just goes fucking full-blown racist. Yeah. So barbarian just means not Greek. It means you're not a Greek. Right. And then it became a pejorative because the Greeks looked at themselves as civilized and philosophical and great.

So you weren't a citizen. It means you're a fucking barbarian. So like around the fifth century, the Germanic people, they started to migrate into what is modern day Great Britain, Western Europe, France, Italy, North Africa, Africa. But before that, because make no mistake, when Rome was in charge, when the Roman Empire was in charge, these people couldn't do shit. They just couldn't do anything. So it's like Rome, everybody was Roman. There was a point where everybody was Roman. There was like, yeah.

I mean, we're talking about like right before the birth of Jesus. And then for a couple hundred years after that, Rome dominated. Yeah. I mean, just dominated. If you looked at the map of sort of the recordedumbled, you see different kingdoms start to shoot up around Europe and the Middle East and North Africa, Carthage. There was different. But there was a couple hundred years where Rome just dominated. But Rome constantly was at war with these Germanic tribes.

Constantly. That were kind of nomadic. They moved. They settled. They were all along the frontier of Rome and constantly fucking fighting with the Romans. And they were basically just these blonde or red-haired ancestors of what became the Vikings, what became the Gauls, what became Germans, what became British. I mean, there was Anglo-, Saxons, Gauls. Well, it's interesting because like even like there was a Germanic tribe. There were two Germanic tribes called the Jutes and the Danes.

And they just combined and they formed Denmark. So like when you say a Dane, like a Danish, Denmark comes from tribes or the Angles and the Saxons. They just, their tribes just came together. The Angles were a tribe. the Saxons were a tribe. And that's why you have white Anglo-Saxon Protestant, then they went to Britain. Yeah. So it's like, that's just what started to happen. So it's like, it's truly all comes to the Germanic tribes.

And now if they were mostly blonde and mostly red hair, then guess what that meant? They had no fumes. Fumeless. Fumeless. And, well, you know, that's what, except for me and ISIS, we're fumed out. Yeah, you guys have fumes. Because, yeah, I'm Greek. But I'm a German kid, so I have no fumes.

No fumes. It's amazing. It's amazing, though, that, like, yeah, there was all these tribes of white people. They fought each other for the most part. Right. And it was really religion that unified them all. Yes. When they all sort of became, like you said, Protestants.

Protestants. And because, look, you know, if you watch a movie like what's with Russell Crowe, Gladiator, you know, they show the Germanic tribes. Well, it's with Russell Crowe, Gladiator. You know, they show the Germanic, they show Germanic tribes. They show a war with Marcus Aurelius and Commodus and what the fuck? What was Russell Crowe's character's name? What was that slave's name? Maximus. So they show that and they show that it's just barbaric people.

But they weren't that. I mean, actually, the Germanic peoples, they had a strong military. They had warriors, but they were fierce. Like, they were devoted military leaders, like, you know, the chieftains, they called them. And they had society. You have society popping up in Germania amongst the Germanic tribes as early as 750 B.C. So, you know, it's fucking wild. It's like, you know, it's another fact.

You know, we said this on another podcast. You know, we said this on another podcast. You know, in the Civil War, when Virginia split into West Virginia and left the Confederacy and West Virginia fought with the Union soldiers, they had a whole smear campaign against West Virginia. So everybody thinks of West Virginia as backwater hillbillies. And I'm sure they still do have backwater hillbillies. But out of all the southern states, you know, West Virginia has the highest amount of acceptance letters for Ivy League schools. Are you serious? It's from West Virginia. That's a fact. Why do you

think that is? Because it was a smear campaign by the Confederacy to shit on West Virginia because they left the Confederacy to fight with the Union. So my point is the Germanic tribes, they all call them barbarians and it probably was a smear campaign by the Romans that they all had fumes and they were dirtbags, but they actually had society from 750 BC, cuz.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the way they were. So they were stereotyped, is what you're saying. Yeah, and it's not fair. No. No, it's like, you know, and you know what? To be honest with you, they were all straight white males in Germania, so they had it easy enough.

Yeah. I thought she was a first-class, so they had it easy enough. Yeah. What's that? What was that? What was that one? What was that? Listen, see if you can identify it. Play it again?

Is that Hitler? I thought it was a fruitcake to begin with. Oh, that's your pops. Oh, yeah, but it's too low. Oh, with. Oh, that's your pops. Oh, yeah, but it's too low. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's going to be good. Yeah, we'll get those cooking. But listen, Germans and Latins, and by Latins we're talking about Romans.

They both belong to the Indo-European language group. And the Indo-European is an extinct language of which there is no official record, only reconstruction. Basically, when you look back in history, it's kind of wild. It's sort of like a free-for-all, a tribal free-for-all until things get unified through conquest and religion. religion and what we know is just kind of pieced together from whoever was in power and whoever had a historian to say hey this is what happened but we don't fucking know you don't know but it's basically just chaos until the roman empire until the holy roman empire until you know gaul formed as a big area was france was France, right? Yeah. Yeah, French kids, croissants. They were a fucking Germanic tribe. It was all you had down, you had below, you had the Egyptians down below.

You had Greeks. Yeah. Romans. Romans, fucking Italian kids. Where did they come from? Where the fuck did Italian kids come from? Probably Greeks. But they weren't Greeks, though.

I don't know. Because even the English language, like the English language directly descends from German Probably Greeks. But they weren't Greeks, though. I don't know. Because even the English language, like the English language directly descends from Germanic tribes. Because in all the Anglo-Saxon tribes, that's kind of what they were. They were speaking a version of that. And it just infiltrated the world. Well, that's what Indo-European languages, they both share a common

ancestor. Cute! So, yeah. So, English, Italian, all, you know, French. Because today- They all share a common ancestor. Even though I'm a grown ass man, you've seen me do this before. I put baby powder on my balls and ass for some reason. That can't be good for you.

And I got baby powder down my pee hole before. So it's burning. Is that the first time that's happened? Yeah. Baby powder on you, it can't be good it scars your lungs baby powder baby powder is not good for you and talk powder which our mothers used to fucking bathe us in is like horrible for you it literally scars your lungs yeah like a smoker i didn't know that yeah now one of the big figures i want some pates i want pates too. Big figures in Germanic

history, you know, Germanic tribes history is a chieftain. A chieftain, I guess the equivalent to like a general. And his name is Arminius. Ooh, is he Arminian? Is he Arminian? Maybe.

Is he a Kardashian? He's not a Kardashian. He was a German kid. But back then, I don't know why he's got a Latin name. Is he a Kardashian? He's not a Kardashian. He was a German kid. Yeah. But back then, I don't know why he's got a Latin name. Was he a good German kid, though? Was he a good German kid? Was he dirt bad? Well, what he did, he is really credited by historians.

And this is the thing. This is what's so fascinating about history. Look, these are just like historians coming up with theories, just like we could. Yeah. We could basically say, nah, you know, this happened. This means this. You know? this. We could say, you know what, if it wasn't for this, some kid who was making boots in Sardinia.

Well, even when we learned last week when we were in Dachau concentration camp, you missed a part of the tour that was fucking wild. It pertains to this because you were looking at maps or something. Our tour guide told us that for years, they thought that German soldiers were doing a

particular thing to Jews in this one room of a concentration camp, and they were sure of it. They were like, this is... Even the tours were happening. They were like, in the 70s and 80s, they were like, oh, this is where they would take showers or something like that. But then there was someone who went back and visited Dachau and who was at Dachau concentration camp and it was proven through records and pictures and all that.

And he said, no, that's not where it happened. It happened over here. And things, things, some of the things were wrong. And that's record. I mean, it was just 60 years ago And they got it wrong So could you imagine trying to think about something A thousand years ago

How many elements of it are just wrong Yeah and you know You piece it together And then a lot of it's probably lost in translation You know A lot of the Irish monks Saved a lot of the ancient Greek texts And Roman texts

And civilizations crumble A lot of the ancient Greek texts and Roman texts and civilizations crumble. A lot of shit's been lost. It could have been that someone figured out the meaning of life and it just got lost in some conquest. I read something once that more documents, like recorded documents, have been lost than found. I'm sure. Way more have been lost. So really, the history that we have is like a small part of what actually happened. Probably.

We'll just never know. We'll just never know. And even the Germanic tribes themselves, they've changed and evolved so many times. Like the Germanic tribes that Julius Caesar talks about fighting and conquering, that's not the same Germanic tribes that maybe were around in B.C. times. Yeah, they weren't even called Germanic tribes. No, we called them. There was some, no, some fucking Roman guy that started calling them that. Yeah.

So that's what, like, that's how we know it. Germania, they started referring to it as Germania. Well, look. And Germanic tribes. 300 years from now, the period that we're living in will have a name that we don't know exists right now. They're going to call it the cute or the cuck period. Yeah, who knows? This podcast, after it gets so popular and usurps all of the podcasts,

and then there's an apocalypse because of climate change, but then mankind makes a comeback, and the only thing they discover is this podcast, and then there's still some fumeless people living in Northern Europe. They're just going to call them fumeless. Yeah. They're not going to be called Scandinavian anymore. They're going to be called no fumes. No fumes.

So Arminius is a very important chieftain because he was a general. I guess they would call him a chieftain, but the Romans would call him a general. And he commanded an alliance of German tribes. So he united the clans like William Wallace. Yeah. He united a couple of fucking German clans, and they fought three Roman legions. And he fucking destroyed them with his big red-haired balls. Yeah.

They got fucking cock-slapped. Yeah. And so the Romans— Make no mistake, the Germanic tribes had some big pieces. You think so? 100%. And they would probably go—one thing that I learned in the Viking Museum, and again, Vikings are even way later in time than Germanic tribes.

Sometimes the Vikings would storm your town with just the helmets on, butt naked. And then when they would go berserk. Yeah, we talked about it. Smeared with the enemy's blood. And then they invented shitting on the chest. They did? How fucking wild is that? Berserk. That comes from the Vikingiking time that word but that's what they

would do they would rub rub themselves in animal blood and come out butt naked in sub-zero temperatures and fucking kill you and then rub their piece in your face that's your bloodline that's probably why you're so wild the last move if i got stabbed and killed by a viking and then the last thing i would do is i would probably open my mouth to receive the peace. So, the famous battle where this happened was called the Battle of the Tutoburg Forest.

The Tutoburg Forest. The Battle of the Tutoburg Forest in 9 AD. The Tutoburg Forest? Yeah. Tutoburg Forest. Cuz, do you think if we were alive in Germanic, if we were part, if we were two members of the Germanic tribes, because our fighting skills would be lacking so much that they would just cut off our balls and make us toots? Cuz.

Do you think we would just be toots on a leash? Yeah, we would be eunuchs. We would be made eunuchs. We just do, ISIS I think would be a fighter. Yeah, he's a fighter. He's a fighter. Yeah. But me and you, we just don't have it in us to go to war.

I can't do it. No. If at that time— You would get an anxiety rash. Well, I would be like, yo, listen, I can't fight the Romans right now if I don't have CBD oil and ravioli vodka peets. That's the thing with CBD oil. Can people just fucking relax with how much they think weed is like a magical potion that cures everything? It's like, yeah, I have a little anxiety.

You know what I take? I just put a little CBD oil in my rice and everything's fine. Everyone's just putting CBD oil in everything. My email didn't work, so I just rubbed a little CBD oil on my laptop. Yeah, you know what? My car was making a weird noise. You know what I did? I just took a couple of little bubble shots and just sprinkled them into my gasoline tank with CBD oil.

It's just a little CBD oil. And now my car's running smooth. Yeah. You don't have to take it to the mechanic and have them fucking charge you thousands of dollars to fix something that just a little drop of CBD oil will fix. I can't fix. Yeah, I had herpes, but guess what?

I just dropped a little CBD oil under my tongue and it's gone. Yeah, that's what it is. Make no mistake. Look, yeah, weed is obviously not as bad for you as man-made pharmaceuticals. Obviously, there's no big companies behind weed. But it's not a cure-all fucking drug. It's not a cute cure. And you smoke weed every single day.

It's not going to be good for you. Can't be. I mean, even eating an apple all day every day is probably not good for you, right? No, it's man-shug. Yeah. It's man-shug. The Greeks have an expression. The ancient Greeks have an expression.

Pan metron ariston, which means everything in moderation, nothing in excess. I think that is one of the wisest adages ever uttered. Yeah. But make no mistake, you are not listening to that because you were doing Pete's in excess. That is true. So the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest in 9 AD is where the great Germanic chieftain Arminius is probably named by Romans. That's why we call him Arminius. That's a Latin name. Yeah, because that's another good point.

His name was probably Hrussensfruss. A lot of what we learn here in the U.S., these people have certain certain names because we just, you know, write our history books from like probably like a Roman point of view. We're like other countries. These big figures are not called that name. Right. They're called something different because they were called something different. Right. By their historians.

Right. It's wild if you think about it. Right. They just probably didn't have paper to write it down, you know. Yes. But this was very significant because he defeated these three Roman legions, and the Romans were forced to withdraw from Magna Germania. What does that mean? Magna Germania was the region that the Roman Empire kind of designated, delineated, and it was above kind of Gallia.

Gallia's France, right? Well, it became France, but it was like above Gaul. It was basically beyond the frontier of the Roman Empire at that time, so that was the area that they just delineated. Did you ever hear about that battle between Caesar and Vercingetorix, who was like the king of the Gauls? It's a fucking wild battle. So it's just Caesar. I forgot what year it was, like in 25 AD or something like that.

Vercingetorix was cornered in this fort. He was the king of the Gauls. He's cornered in this fort. And Caesar was like surrounding him. So Caesar built a wall around the fort and just was like going to corner and just like basically like bleed Vercingetorix out. So Vercingetorix using, I think like a carrier pigeon or something like that, or some like bullhorn sent for the remaining Gaulish troops, which is like another 50,000 troops to come and bail him out. And Caesar got word of

that. So Caesar just built a wall around himself. So Caesar couldn't get out, and the only way that Caesar was going to leave is if he beat and killed Vercingetorix and beat all his guys. So Caesar enclosed himself in this fort, so Vercingetorix troops couldn't get in that he was calling for, and Vercingetorix

couldn't get out, but neither could Caesar. And Caesar won and beat Vercingetorix and held him captive for six years and then eventually just hung him and killed him. But that's why Julius Caesar became Julius Caesar, because of some battle in Gaul. Yeah, I mean, he was constantly fighting all the Germanic tribes,

and that's what made him famous, right? He was like, he's kind of like the George Washington of Rome. Caesar? Yeah, because he was like the first dictator. He was the first military fucking hero. Before Caesar, before Caesar in ancient Rome, it was just, it was like a senate. A senate ruled. like the first dictator he was the first military fucking well hero before caesar before caesar in ancient rome it was just it was like a senate a senate ruled it was um they called them they um

i forgot what the name of it was it was like they had a name it wasn't the president it was like you were the i forgot what it was but isis can you look that up for us yeah what they used to call themselves toots toots but then caesar got absolute power and became the first emperor of Rome. Yeah. So Germania, that area, it extended from the Danube River in the south to the Baltic Sea. And from the Rhine to the west, in the west to the Vistulia. So that's where it was. And they called that Magna Germania.

Now, cuz, make no Magna Germania. Now, cause make no mistake, Germana tribes were fucking also Brutes Magoots. I mean, they had a name for a reason. Like, I read this thing. Barbarians.

What, you got something, Zach? I'm just finding that it was called the Roman Senate. The Roman Senate, but there's a thing that, what was like the, like on the triumvirate,

it was Julius Caesar. Before Julius Caesar, Pompey and Crassus. And Julius Caesar became. They actually used his name to. If you became Caesar, it was based on him. Because his name was Julius Caesar. And then Caesar became like the name of emperor.

Yeah, you were the Caesar of Rome. Yeah, and then the Germans used Kaiser, which is like a version of Caesar. It means Caesar in German. Yeah. So the Germanic tribes, like if you fucked with them, they would do like this guy Crassus. He got molten hot gold because he stole money or like was being greedy and not giving the Germanic tribes what they wanted. So they poured molten hot gold down his fucking throat and killed him. That sounds like a Game of Thrones scene.

Talk about fucking acid reflux. What do you think it's going to feel like with molten hot gold down his fucking throat and killed him. That sounds like a Game of Thrones scene. Talk about fucking acid reflux. What do you think it's going to feel like with molten hot gold coming down your windpipe? Yo, but that's how famous Julius Caesar was, how influential he was. The calendar, the Caesarian calendar, the Caesarian section. We talked about that in Childbirth is Wild, that the myth was that it was named after him. Kaisers in, obviously, German history, Kaiser means Caesar. And then in Russian history, Tsar. Tsar is Russian for Caesar.

So people have always been trying to relive the glory of Rome. But let me just finish explaining. So Arminius is such an important figure in history as a chieftain who united these Germanic tribes and they defeated these three Roman legions and forced them to retreat out of Magna Germania. at this victory as probably Rome's greatest defeat because it kind of prevented the Romanization of these Germanic people who wanted to, for whatever fucking reason, remain wild. They wanted to remain tribal and wild and keep their traditions, and they resisted gentrification, for lack of a better word, from the Romans. and, for lack of a better word, from the Romans. And so this victory is considered like the root cause and the turning point for the collapse of Rome

because it allowed the Germanic tribes to thrive past the frontier without Roman intervention, and they grew strong and eventually sacked Rome, as we all know. That must have been a wild day. Yeah. So he's a pretty important figure. And he was born a prince of the, see, look at this, the Cherusci tribe. The Cherusci tribe.

So there's so many tribes, so many different names. The names changed. And they just morphed and became countries and languages and cultures that we know today. just keeps morphing as time goes on they just keep more like all the countries and cultures we know today are not going to be here 200 300 years from now they're going to morph into something else and countries change name like fucking when i was born mumbai was called bombay but now it's just called mumbai yeah so like that's going to happen with cities something's going to happen like if you think about it. Constantinople is now called Istanbul. It's just a different name.

And then before that was called Byzantine. Yeah. I mean, the Indians called this land something else. And then now it's called New Amsterdam, right? And then now it's called New York, right? Wasn't it called New Amsterdam for a little while? Yeah. But here is the fucking wild thing about Arminios.

Tell us what's wild. Seriously. We talk about a lot of stuff on this podcast that will become a Hollywood movie. We should fucking do it. Last week we talked about the SOE. There's going to be a fucking movie about this, but listen to this kid because this kid's fucking wild. He was born

a prince in one of those Germanic tribes. So we know automatically if he was born a prince in a Germanic tribe, we know for sure he has no fumes. He's got no fumes. But he was drafted actually into the Roman military. How was that possible? Because they were fucking conquering those people up there.

Yeah. Okay. Along the frontier. So he was drafted into the Roman military at an early age and he was granted Roman citizenship. So he was actually a citizen of Rome and he became a Roman knight. Right. And so after serving with distinction in some major battle, it was some sort of revolt. I think it was the great Illyrian revolt.

He was sent because he was such a trusted Roman soldier. He was sent to Germania to aid the local governor Publius Quinsiltilius Varius. Fruity Pubils. Yeah. And completing the Roman conquest of the Germanic tribes of which he came. And guess what? What? He was a double fucking agent and he turned on the Romans. So from within Rome and being a part of the Roman military, he fucking turned on them.

So the kid's a rat. And killed them all. The kid's a fucking rat. Or a freedom fighter. You know, a lot of people in the tribes were probably thinking he was a rat, but little did they know, the motherfucker had a plan the whole time. Thank God he didn't get his fucking head cut off before that, though.

Yeah. By his own peeps. Yeah, but you know, he was a part of a strong fighting force and he, you know, and when he was coming, those tribes were probably like, fuck this guy. And let alone did they know he was going to destroy them from the inside. So that's how we did it. How much human shit was just on the floor and in the ground back in those days?

I mean, were you shitting holes? No, I know we've talked about it in medieval times, but we've never talked about it when, like, what did you do in Germania? Because there was whole professions. You come from a long line of Kerner shit shovelers. Yeah. You only became a Kerner, like the Kerner was only like three or four generations ago when you started being a merchant. You were buying and selling, you know, mill, what was it?

Milled grain. Grain. You was a Jewish kid, right? You were selling grain. You were buying and selling grain. That's why you're kind of a smart kid. Yeah. But you're also a dumb kid because before that, you guys were shoveling shit.

But there was an ancestor. There was one ancestor, your ancestor. His name was Hans Husuf. Yeah. From one of the Germanic tribes. Yeah. And he's the one that made the transition from a shit shoveler to merchant. Yeah.

Because he banged out a Jew. Yeah. And then that baby was a girl And she was half Jew, half Germanic And she started becoming a merchant And then that's your line You're a Jew-German You know what's a 10 out of 10 funny thing to think about?

There are people who looked pretty close to us Like 400 years ago Just imagine what I would look like With a powdered wig on And fucking pilgrim shoes And fucking stockings And a corset hundred years ago just imagine what i would look like with a powdered wig on and fucking and pilgrim shoes yeah and fucking stockings and a corset just make no mistake i was a transgender in the past how did that become style that's the thing i want to know i don't know think about it think how there must have been gay guys at some point in like Europe during that time in like the 1700s

who was like, you know what would be fucking cute? What? Like, you know those pants that you have that come under your ankle? Let's just pull them up to the knee and fucking get some white socks. Yeah. And look at these fucking witch shoes. Yes. And then, you know what's

you know what? Your hair's cute But you know what would be even fucking cuter What Is if we take this dead grandma's hair And glued it on to your fucking head Yeah They used to wear wigs of other people's hair

That's what it was How did that become How did that serial killer fucking type shit Become style Cause basically you're taking someone else's head and putting it on your head yeah that's some buffalo bill shit right there i don't know but you would have been a fashionable kid i would have been yeah i don't think they would have had clothes that would have fit me but can you believe that was a style and then at some point that went out of style there was some dude who was just like i would not how does it stop

but the style that we have right now, I think it's like, you can look back 30 years now and say it was still cute. Like tapered jeans, button downs. Oh, when I was a kid in the 90s, it was baggy jeans. Yeah, but everybody knew baggy jeans were going to eventually look stupid. I don't think fitted

clothing is ever going to look stupid. You know what I'm trying to say? Like a suit. Like a man's nice tailored suit. Yeah. That would have looked good in 1900 and still looks good now. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Probably. Like some things you just know that's not going to work. Like you just know at some point like those hoodie sweatshirts that zip over your head that the kids buy are just going to look like a fucking idiot. Probably. At some point. Probably. that the kids buy are just going to look like a fucking idiot at some point.

Probably. Did you see this new fashion trend now where designers are making the girls look like aliens? Can you pull that up? It's fucking wild. And while he pulls it up, I'll just tell you, the Roman historian Tacitus, who's one of the most famous Roman historians, designated Arminius as the liberator of the Germanic tribes and really commended him in his writings for having fought the Roman Empire to a standstill at the peak of the Roman Empire's power.

So, you know, during the unification of Germany in the 19th century, Arminius was hailed by German nationalists in their history as a symbol of German unity and freedom because he united the tribe. He was like the first one to unite tribes and fight Rome. Oh, you know what? One of our fans, one of our fans, I said I shout out on the podcast for this. She helped us out. She said that, remember we were asking last time, we couldn't remember what the name of the hall was called that had the lion's balls in it where Hitler fucking did the beer hall push. It's from Sarah Sprinkle 7.

It's called Odin Splatz. So it's not Marian Splatz. No, it's Odin Splatz. Odin Splatz. Odin Splatz. So if you go to Munich, go to Odin Splatz. Google. If you go to Munich, Google the picture of Hitler in the crowd and then go to Odeon Splats.

And you will be in the exact spot looking at the same thing all around you that he was looking at, that they were looking at. It's just the same. It's wild. Wild. And I promised to post those pics and I didn't. You have to post the pics and I didn't You have to post the pics And stop being a fucking piece of shit You know I'm always hesitant to post shit on the Patreon

Because I know people get email notifications For everything and I don't want to I don't want to like overwhelm their email box Well can't they just turn off email notifications? Yeah but they want to keep Their email notifications on so they know When Jihadi with a body posts The Patreon episodes on Thursday.

Also, we're at, how many patrons are we at? 240. We're at 240 patrons. Our first goal is 500 patrons. And if we get, when we get to 500 patrons, Jihadi Wadabadi is going to post a pic. Without a shirt. Without a shirt on. Yeah.

It's good. I'm going to be sitting. Here's what the picture is going to be. Jihadi Wadabadi is going to be sitting. No shirt on Yeah It's good I'm gonna be sit Here's what the picture's gonna be Jihad Udabadi's gonna be sitting No shirt on Shorts And I'm gonna Go get in a diaper

And a history And a Bay Ridge Boys t-shirt And sit on his lap And that's the pic We're gonna post on Patreon If we get to 500 Yas Yas

Yeah Well You know what kids We fucking talked about Germania today. Yeah. We talked about. It's just one big mess of tribal warfare.

Yeah. And conquest. Yeah, it is. Most are histories that way, if you think about it. Yeah. I'm just shocked that religion is really what's, you know, like, without religion, we'd probably still all be tribes. Yeah. So you think that's the positive in religion?

Yes. The unification? Yes. Yeah. But what's the negative? There is no negative. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. Yes.

Even though the only one, the one truth. I'm a Catholic kid. Islam is the only truth Because Muhammad lived in recorded history So Islam, submit to Islam It's the only truth, Jihadi told us that It's what it is We had him looking up something and we forgot

I think what Chris was referring to earlier Was the Patricians Who kind of ruled the Roman Republic Before the Empire I don't think that's it But it is an interesting thing to know who kind of ruled the Roman Republic before the Empire. I don't think that's it. But it is an interesting thing to know. It was just a thing that they called. It was like you were called.

Patricians were like aristocracy, right? Yeah. Yeah. You're talking about he had a name before Caesar. No, everybody had. There was no. Caesar became an emperor, right? So before Rome was just owned, was ruled by the Senate,

and it was like the Speaker of the House. It was like the Speaker of the House just talked on behalf of the Senate, but he had no real power. He had power, but he was the leader of the government, but he couldn't make things up without the Senate's approval. But then Caesar gave it where he can just do whatever he wants. Well, I don't know what it is. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. Whatever it was, these were cute fucking kids. Because see, even his haircut, people still get a Caesar haircut. Another example. Caesar salad. Let's go. Julius Caesar, right? Most famous people in history. Let's do it right now. Honestly.

First of all, you gotta go Muhammad and Jesus. Muhammad and Jesus, one and two. Julius Caesar is one. He's gotta be up there. Michael Jordan. Wow. Fucking. You threw a Michael Jordan in right away. Yeah. Muhammad Ali. Wow.

Abraham Lincoln. I think you're Isaac Newton. Socrates. Cleopatra. Joan of Arc. George Washington. Joan of Arc.

Wait, let's do the five. The five? Five most influential. Meaning like... No, famous. Just influential and famous, yeah. If Jesus was alive today, he'd have 35 billion Instagram followers. He would.

But Muhammad, there's so many Muslims throughout the world. You got to go Muhammad maybe one, Jesus two? Well, Muhammad's the most popular name in the world, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. So, Muhammad, Jesus, one or two. You throw out the interchangeable. Is Julius Caesar three?

I believe he's three. Julius Caesar, because he's no, I mean, he is the most famous. Yeah, I would say Julius Caesar's three. I have a list of ranked by people of the top five most famous people. Who are these? Why don't you give me your guys' top five and then I'll give you these. Okay. Muhammad. I'm going Muhammad, Jesus, Julius give me your guys' top five, and then I'll give you these. Okay.

Muhammad. I'm going Muhammad Jesus, Julius Caesar. Julius Caesar. Number four, I would say, is... Abe Lincoln. Abe Lincoln. He's got to be up there. And number five, Cleopatra. I'm going, no, I'm going Genghis Khan.

Yeah. Wow. I like how you did that, because you wanted to throw one woman on your alt shelf. Women first, hashtag feminism, hashtag anti-Kavanaugh. Go ahead. Okay, so number one with 48,000 votes is Jesus Christ. Okay.

Number two with 32,000 is Albert Einstein. Wow. Number three with 30,000 is Isaac Newton. Wow. Number four, 27,000, Da Vinci. Wow. And number five with 22,000, Aristotle. And who, this is a very Western list.

Yeah. Who made, what is this? What site is that? It's ranker.com. It's like a website where people can just go. Thumbs up or thumbs down? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's a pretty good list, but I think that list is remiss. I mean, you can't, There's no Muhammad on that list? Most famous? No, number eight. Number eight is Muhammad. Number eight? No Genghis Khan on there? I mean, we're all...

Still looking for Genghis Khan. Do you know how many... He fucked so many chicks. I know. He's like the Chrissy D of Asia. Julius Caesar is 21. You think he fucked a few dudes, Genghis Khan? Genghis Khan...

Genghis Khan is number 28. He's 28. Where's Michael Jordan? Yeah. Is he even on the list? Far down there. What about Thomas Edison? Yeah. I haven't seen him yet. What about Muhammad? Is Muhammad on the list?

Yeah, Muhammad was number 8. How about Aziz Ansari? Yeah. I think he was number 2, actually. Schumer? Shiam there? George Washington? Is George Washington on there? He was a I'm there. George Washington. Is George Washington on there? He was a star one right above Jesus. Is George Washington on there? I haven't seen Washington either.

Name the top ten. Read the top ten. So let me scroll back up. Sorry. Top ten were in order. One is Jesus. Two is Einstein. Three is Newton.

Four is Da Vinci. Five is Aristotle. Six is Galileo. Seven is Alexander the Great. Eight is Newton. Four is Da Vinci. Five is Aristotle. Six is Galileo. Seven is Alexander the Great. Eight is Muhammad. Nine is Plato. And ten is Charles Darwin. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, you can't really argue with that.

Science. Yeah. Yeah. Famous. Yeah. That's why it's different between fame and influence. Who's the famous scientist of our day? Will it go down as Elon Musk in history? No. Stephen Hawking. It'll be Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking will be remembered 300 years from now. Yeah. His book is like, you know, that book is like probably the most pop kind of like, you know, it's the most famous science book that the layman can read. Did you read it? I don't think I ever read it, no. I don't think I read it cover to cover yet. What was it called again?

The History of Time. The History of Everything. The History of Time, right? I thought it was called The Theory of the Universe. What's that? He might have written another one, yeah. We're fucking stupid. We're stupid fucking kids.

A Brief History of Time. A Brief History of Time, yeah. Yeah. All right, cuzz We're fucking stupid. We're stupid fucking kids. A brief history of time. Brief history of time, yeah. Yeah. All right, cuzzies. Well, thank you so much for listening to the app. This was a brief history of Germanic tribes. This is a brief history of Germanic tribes. We're going to delve more into it.

We're probably next episode. I think we may talk about Constantinople next up and about Catholicism, and it's going to get real, and we're going to call my mother. Can we call your mother on this Patreon? We're going to call my mother. Listen to this. Go join the Patreon page because this episode, we're calling Linda Stefano,

and she's probably having a brew. Yeah. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Bye.