History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 37 - Catholics VS Protestants are WILD!

Episode Date: October 21, 2018

Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas are back for another episode where they start off questioning the simulation that is life. Chris is a little sick and Yannis is a cute kid because he grew out his beard!Hyenas discuss Christianity : more specifically Protestants and Catholics. Protestantism was believed to begin in Germany in 1517 by Martin Luther. Catholicity began a long time ago, probably during the Council of Nicea in 325 AD creating the gospels which are cayoote. Boys start to question the return of Jesus, and can Protestant Priest marry? Do you know?! Chris recalls his childhood in Catholic school learning the song “Were you there when they crucified my lord?” It’s a WILD song. Religion is WILD, humans are WILD, this is all a simulation so it DOESN’T MATTERRR! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Long Duck Dong is about your age, Sam. You two should have a lot to chat about. I love visiting with Grandma and Grandpa and writing letters to parents and pushing lawn mowing machines so Grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed. ស្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Welcome to the History Hyenas Cackle, Cackle, Cackle. Today is going to be a great episode in the stude. You have Chrissy, Nazi face to Stefano, Giannis the cock poppice,

You have Chrissy, Nazi face to Stefano, Giannis the cock poppice, Juhana with a body, Zach Ice's face, and a picture of a hyena eating his pseudo-penis. It's going to be a good day. I'm feeling a little under the weather. It's a her. Get your fucking pronouns right. I'm sorry. Be a fucking ally. That is a pseudo-penis on a fierce matriarch.

I hope Antifa doesn't hear this. I hope Portland wasn't listening to that, that I assumed gender, and it was wrong. But listen, guys, today's episode is going to be fun. We're going to go wild. I'm going to go wild to as much as I can, but make no mistake, I'm a sick kid. You're always a sick kid. It's not the first time that you've told the fans that you're feeling under the weather. Make no mistake, you wake up at 4.43, anxious, chewing your nails with a panic attack.

Then you go and you get yourself a brew and an ice cream sandwich and you cool down, watch Nazi videos. Then go to the gym once and then go to the gym again at 12, drink 15 coffees. So by the time 4 p.m. rolls around, the kid is fucking fired out. Yeah. And also, I take my kid's grandma back and forth to her house in Sunset Park. I just do that, too, for no reason. Just take her on those rides. Once in a while, you got to take the baby daddy of your daughter's brother to improv classes.

Yeah. Sometimes I just got to take my stepson's, I guess ex-stepson's dad, I just got to take him to court once in a while. Once in a while, you got a lot on your plate. You live before 12 noon four days. You live like another person two beers in, but you also live another person's week in three hours. Yeah. Unfortunately, lately what's been happening is I've just been sitting down, lighting a candle, reading a book, and then just falling asleep as soon as I start to read. reading a book and then just falling asleep as soon as I start to read.

That's just what I've been doing lately because I can't be stimulated anymore by the television, by coffee, by fucking conversations. I'm just in one of those moods where it's like, I just want to sit down and close my fucking eyes. We always talk about how the simulators put different parts of you together, but the one aspect of you that we never mentioned that is incongruent is your look and your personality. Because you look like a kid who's frontline Marine,

but your personality is 100% Franks and Beats. Yeah! You get excited to put on that hyena sweatshirt, and you are a grown man. Your rotation is a Wham shirt, a Whitney Houston t-shirt, a hyena sweatshirt, and you are a grown man. Yeah. You wear a Whitney. Your rotation is a Wham shirt, a Whitney Houston T-shirt, a hyena shirt, and then you also have one where there's a giraffe riding a shark.

Yeah. You shop at Retarded R Us. Yeah. Way shonk shi. Way shonk shi. I'm allowed to use the word retarded because my brother is special. I'm allowed to use the word retarded because my brother is special. And you mean it in the sense of, yeah, of a retardation of... You know, retardation used to mean, it used to be the politically correct way to say it.

Yeah, what did they say before that? Before they just called them... Mongols? Yeah. I think they called them Franks and Bates. Franks and Bates. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I mean, I was a pediatric physical therapist I worked with a lot of special needs handicapped children You're a good hearted kid Yeah because I'm Franks and Beans Most Franks and Beans are good hearted kids Yeah you're just We figured it out This is what we figured out

Me and Chrissy were talking before The world's coming to an end We know civil war's coming It's ending We all know that. Yes. The scientists came out. They say we got about 10, 11 years

before the climate is in the state of emergency, right? And they're probably being conservative. They don't want to panic. It's ending. Miami's going to be underwater in 13 minutes. Right. So, but we figured out, you listen,

the reptiles had their run with the dinosaurs, these big reptiles flying around. Now it's the mammals' turn. After the extinction of the dinosaurs, now the mammalsiles had their run with the dinosaurs, these big reptiles flying around. Now it's the mammals' turn. After the extinction of the dinosaurs, now the mammals are getting their run. The next run, going to be insects. Right. And that's going to be fun for the simulators.

Because make no mistake, the simulators really enjoyed the reptile stage. Yes. Because they were watching these huge 30-story reptiles running 50 miles an hour chasing and eating shit vicious fun to watch yeah that's when the simulators were kind of simple minded and kind of more right wing cops now but what so okay I see what you're saying but also what I was thinking about

is what if the next wave of things that will take over are just us as robots that's I don't know it's going to be insects it's not going to happen it's going to be a mass extinction again. But maybe it'll be because of the robots. Maybe the robots will do that. I think it's going to be

a climate change, just like it was for the reptiles. The reptiles was the asteroid that hit and created the fallout that caused that ice age. For us, it's going to be we're doing it ourselves. We extinct ourselves. We cause the climate to be not sustainable for us. People think the world's going to be we're doing it ourselves We extinct ourselves We cause the climate to be not sustainable for us People think the world's going to be fine

Just not sustainable for us On a mass scale You think we're going to go to Mars and colonize that? But as you know because it's part of the story It's not free will Like even you said because you're German you don't believe in free will You just believe in force I just believe in eugenics

So this is all part of, we're just entertainment for the simulators. So when the simulators were immature, God built this planet as a TV for his simulator children. And when they were young, they enjoyed watching

Dinosaur Smash, like a Hulk movie. Hulk Smash, they were watching dinosaurs just tear shit up, and that was entertaining. But then they got a little cucked out. The simulators got a little cucked out, and they wanted a little more complicated storyline for entertainment, and they created humans. That's when they did the boulder, the asteroid that got rid of the dinosaurs and created the humans for cuck entertainment. Right.

So now what's entertaining the simulators is sort of the nuance amongst humans, like struggling to be gay. You know, it's like watching a soap opera. Right. This is the cuck phase for simulators. That's what it is. Now they're getting sick of it and they're craving like real bloodshed again. Yeah.

So now it's going to be the insects turn after they max extinct us. Cockroaches are going to grow to like 50 fucking feet. Some of them are going to fly. It's going to be gross. Yeah. I can't fucking wait because you look great with facial hair. I was telling you the other day I've never seen anyone the kind of how good you look with facial hair versus how bad you look without is I've never seen a bigger gap. I mean right now you could be a model.

Yeah. Like you really look like you could be a model. And then when you came in that day with no facial, you look like a female hamster. That's just what you looked like. I mean, it literally, you look so bad. It was actually infuriating because you look so good with this. Yeah. I mean, it's like even the comments from like, you know, some of our gay, our male gay fans are just talking about how cute you look with facial hair.

Anytime I grow my facial hair, Joey Kamas, the shout out, congratulations, they got a cooking show. Do they? On Netflix? On MTV, cooking with Joey and Snooki. Great. Mr. Joey P. Love Joey. Yeah, we love Joey.

And anytime I grow my hair and post an Instagram photo, he immediately comments, will you just come over and fuck my ass already? He can't handle it. What's funnier than a gay guy commenting, fuck my ass? I mean, when I scrolled back and I saw that comment that he wrote on one of my pictures, I swear to God, I mean, I'm at a place, I'm so at peace with myself as a middle-aged kid who's going to be dead soon that I can really just enjoy things like that for a couple minutes

straight. You laughed hard. I laughed hard by myself because I know where it's coming from. I mean, it's like when we, or I should say you, because you're single, you know, look at pics of like hot chicks. And you have that immediate need to text them and then realize you don't know how to talk to girls who have jobs. Yeah. But that immediate reaction of I need to clean her out. I need to consume this girl.

Clean her ass. Yeah. Joey has that same thing when he sees a masculine guy. He's like, I just need him to fuck my ass immediately. Yeah. It's Joey Camasto, who is a great friend of the podcast, great friend of ours, is the definition of a D1G, hashtag day one gay. That kid had no chance of being heterosexual. He is the argument for homosexuality.

You're born with it. It's not created. Matteo's a D1G. There's a lot of D1Gs. But Joey, to me, is the ultimate D1G. Because Matteo, see, the thing is with Matteo, he's so. Matteo's a piece. Matteo is a piece.

Matteo hit me up the other day asking if I knew, if I could confirm if Odell Beckham Jr. was gay. Because he wants, he's hoping he's gay. And then Mateo asked me to come over to sit down at the Comedy Cellar table and teach him football because he wants to DM OBJ. Yeah. Yeah. Mateo would be a tough kid not to fuck. Yeah.

Because he's a piece. Because I'm not going to lie to you. If I was on the road with Mateo for a couple of weeks and i couldn't get my dick wet i would just knock on mateo's door and say don't tell anyone yeah yeah no mateo's a good looking kid but his instagram is gay porn it's gay porn but mateo's such a handsome good looking guy yeah that it's it's almost it's different than joey in the sense of because joey's a handsome good looking guy too but joey you could tell that jo Joey was either going to be gay or a plumber. He looks like he's a plumber in a union, but he's a gay kid where Mateo just looks like a piece of art.

Mateo just looks like a sculpture. So you knew Mateo's gay. Joey, if you're close enough on his face, you don't know that he's gay. But once you start hearing him talk and you hear him say he wants to fuck your ass. I mean, his voice is fucking totally. He speaks in a stereotypical fucking gay voice. Totally gay. I mean, the first time he did his podcast.

He was like, hey, guys. The first time he did his podcast, he had the mics on and I walked in and I had a great sweatpants. He goes, oh, my God, it's wearing great sweats. I can't. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he just wants to look at our pieces.

He wants you. When he looks at you, he says that he is for Ro. Yeah. He just wants to look at our pieces. He wants you – when he looks at you, he says that he is for Rome. Yeah. You're for Joey's Rome. For Joey's – He wants you in a basement, chained up, attended to by Roman soldiers, fed turkey legs, on a schedule, but not to – he wants to heal. Joey would get sick with you. Yeah.

He would get sick with you Yeah He would get sick with you He would put your In a Roman contraption Where your The upper part of your body Was locked in a thing Yeah But you were fed turkey legs

To keep you alive But then your ass Was the only thing exposed And he would Fuck your ass Yeah Cause make no mistake Joey likes to

Oh no He likes to get his ass fucked He likes to get his ass fucked Right So yeah he would keep his Yeah Yeah he would lock his ass up so his ass was exposed. You'd be forced to fuck his ass. Yeah, Joey told me, told us on the podcast, he said that his fantasy for me is he wants

to cook and clean for me all day in his underwear and apron and then make me grab his head and make him suck my dick. Yeah, he did say that. That's what he wants. That's like a turn on for me. He wants me to make him give me oral sex while he cooks and cleans for me all day in an apron with underwear. That's his fantasy.

He's a D1G. He's a D1G. Love fucking Joey. Congrats on the show. Yeah. I just don't understand how people get mad. Like gay people are such a blessing to the world. Oh, absolutely.

There's too many people. And we're not saying this and we're not saying this like, oh, you know, on our social media. So like people love us. Like we support the gays like some dumb fucking hollywood bullshit i mean that from the depths of my dick yeah i fucking love gay people it's it and it's like when people say it's unnatural it's like no everything that exists in nature is natural by definition yeah it's impossible to be unnatural because this is all in nature. Right. Good call. And it plays a very vital role. You know? Being gay is basically

nature's immune system against human beings. Right. It's like, look, we want to keep the population down. Some of you are just going to be doing this for recreation, not procreation.

Yeah. You need gays. You need gays. Look, when you go to a neighborhood and that neighborhood's a little dangerous, but you see a lesbian softball game.

Yeah. Because they are the front lines of gentrification. Oh, yeah. Lesbians. Lesbians. Because they're the only ones tough enough to go into those bad neighborhoods. Yes. And they go in first.

They're like the Marines of the gay community. Yes. They go in and they start a softball game. Buy a house in that neighborhood. Yes. Because it's about to be kaya! Yeah, you want gay people in your neighborhood

for the aesthetics and the property value goes way up. The gays make everything just a little bit better. You see a rainbow flag up, just freaking put a down payment down on a crack house. Get a house. Yeah.

Get a house because it's coming. Yeah, cuz, I don't know. I don't know. You are fucking, I don't know what to talk about today. Cuz we don't have- I'm just a tired fucking kid. You're always tired. No, no, no.

But I mean, I think, cuz my daughter's been sick. I think I got what she got. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't been sick in a while. She got double ear infection? Double ear infection, unfortunately. Does that happen a lot to Puerto Rican girl though?

Because they just call it the double ear infection. Cuz the white doctor, that's Does that happen a lot to Puerto Rican girls, though? Because they just call it the double ear infection because the white doctor, that's the only thing he knows to call it. But literally, it's because she's from a loud household and her ears got blown out. Yeah. You know what happened? Maybe her grandmother was talking too loud. She got too excited because she was watching some TV. They blasted Daddy Yankee. They blasted Daddy Yankee They blasted Daddy Yankee

I mean it was fucking hilarious Yesterday to take her Not hilarious at all because she was sick But to have her grandma be telling me About what antibiotics do And how you got an ear infection And how a back's up and down to your ear That must happen to you a lot

People talk down to you a lot Because you look like a dumb fucking kid I know You look like one of the stupidest kids that has ever been made but you're actually one of the smartest i spend a lot of days like almost every day listening to people tell me things that are wrong yeah but i just i just don't care enough i just don't care enough at all to ever correct them or get involved in a conversation i'm just just like, yeah, whatever you say. I just listen.

I'm like, yeah, that's great. I just don't care. I spend, I would say, if I'm awake, let's see, on a good day, I'm awake 20 hours because I just fucking have late spots, then I have to wake up early. I don't care about 95% of the day. That's got to be a symptom of depression. That has to be clinical depression. Or true blue pee.

True blue pee. Psycho. I mean. Or psych or sos. You're either, yeah, it's either depression or you're just born without normal emotions. Yeah, I just don't care. I just want, I want to, sometimes I want to care. Do you feel sad when you see somebody hurt?

Oh, yes. So you're not, yeah, then you got, then you're somebody hurt? Oh, yes. So you're not – yeah, then you're just a depressed kid. Yeah. But you look like a kid who would just call that I'm being a faggot. Yeah. But you're – Way some shit. But that's why you're so entertaining to the cucked out simulators.

Yeah. The simulators are cucks. It's a funny observation. Well, that's why they're enjoying entertaining to the cucked out simulators. Yeah. The simulators are cucks. It's a funny observation. Well, that's why they're enjoying this human face. Yeah. Because the drama is very detailed and variegated. Yeah. And there's different types of people.

There's war. There's cute wars between people. There's wars between Protestants and Catholics. Their DNA is exactly the same. One believes in the Virgin Mary. The other one doesn't. Well, you know what the key difference is? One believes Protestants believe that

the bread that they eat at church is actually just bread and not the actual body of Christ, where Catholics believe that the priest blessed that bread and it has become the actual body of Christ in bread form. That's like the main difference. Which brings us to what we're talking about today, which is

the beef between Protestants and Catholics. Yes, us to what we're talking about today, which is the beef between Protestants and Catholics. Yes, that's what we're going to do. Because these people have been killing each other. Make no mistake. We've said it before on the podcast, and we'll say it again. about racism and being woke and all that stuff. The fact remains that most people who get killed, just like in families, you get killed, you have the probability of getting killed by someone you know or someone you love. Yeah.

Most of the white people who've been killed in human history have been by white people. White. Most of the black people who've been killed have been by black people. White. Most of the black people who've been killed have been by black people. Most of the Asian people who've been killed have been killed by Asian people.

I don't think race is as big of a factor as people, and so on with Indian people, so on with Muslims. Muslims kill each other all the time. I think humans

are just shitty, and we will kill whatever's in closest proximity. Yeah, that's a good point. And we'll find any excuse. I think it's more cultural Humans are just shitty, and we will kill whatever is in closest proximity. Yeah, that's a good point. And we'll find any excuse. I think it's more cultural than it is actual racial. Yeah, because, look, back in the day, when people would go conquer lands, like when fucking Spain went and conquered Mexico and Montezuma and they killed everybody there. That's an example of people killing people that don't look and act like them.

But the truth is, back in Spain, they were killing their own left and right, you know, because, you know, Spanish Inquisition. Absolutely. So it's like, you know, yeah, it's a very good point. They were killing themselves within whatever kingdom they were. Peasants, whatever. Yeah, well, I mean, look, more people died in the American Civil War than all the other wars combined. And let's be honest.. Just kill each other. Yeah, and the truth is the Europeans would not have been able to colonize America if it wasn't for germs.

Oh, my God. Germs, what it was. I mean, it's like, what was it? Even though you have swords and shit, you know how much longer it would have taken? I mean, eventually, probably with the superiority and firepower, it could have happened, you know, due to the benefit of a long... We've talked about it. But the germs really wiped out the Native Americans. 100%.

Without those germs, how many people... How many million Native Americans were there when, like, Christopher Columbus came with, like, four white dudes? Yeah. And they killed 90% of the population within five years. It's just germs. Yeah. And you know what else? You know what another thing? The Native Americans, the Aztecs, the Incas, they all believed.

They all believed like in the Spanish conquerors. They all believed that they were kind of like gods, and they believed that it was because you couldn't communicate. Like these empires, they were all pretty close to each other, but you never left your hood back in the day. You never left your hood, so that's why you just killed people that look like you because you couldn't leave. But like the Inca Empire and the Aztec Empire were very, very close to each other. One was in South America and one was in Mexico. But they didn't know that within 15 years, the same thing happened. Spanish conquerors landed, went to their top guy, said, look, we're, you know, we just

come have a meeting with us. We just want to help you guys out. Let's mix our cultures. And they did the same thing at the meeting. They killed all the head guy's guards, kidnapped him, made him a puppet, and made all the people lay down their arms and join the army. And then they killed everybody. That's just what they did twice. Yeah.

But germs killed most of the people. Germs did kill a lot of them. Germs really accelerated the conquering. They made it very easy to contact. Because you colonize a whole continent with millions of people living there. How many millions of people were living there? What, Native Americans? Native Americans.

I did see that Chris was right. It killed 90% of people, the diseases were, they were diseases. The germs killed most of the diseases. Yeah, 90%. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. They were, it was like viruses that thrived in small, dense spaces. So the Native Americans were kind of just. They just didn't have the immunity.

They weren't exposed to it. They had never been exposed to it. There was an estimated 7 million to 18 million Native Americans. Fuck it. And back then, that's a lot of peeps. That's a lot of peeps. I mean, Christopher Columbus and then, you know, all those dudes who came over, Magellan, whoever fricking was exploring.

What was it? What's it? De Hoya. What's his name? Delgado. They all got Spanish names. Well, they're all Spanish kids. Yeah, they're all Spanish kids. Yeah, they're all Spanish kids.

Yeah, who'd you have? Columbus. Columbus, Delgado. I know there's a Dora De La Hoya in there. They were conquistadors. Yeah. Spanish conquerors. What do we have?

Nadal. Rafa Nadal. Rafa Nadal. Fucking Pau Gasol. Yeah, the Gasol brothers. Mark Anthony. Mark Anthony. J-Lo.

Well, Mark Anthony knows Puerto Rico. Because you confuse Puerto Ricans and Spanish on the regular. Yeah. Spanish is from Spain. They speak like Spain. Es. La. Cristiano Ronaldo.

Ronaldo. Well, he's from Portuguese. But Portuguese and Spain is the same shit. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, really, Portugal? You carved out a little country within that whole part of Europe? That's Spain, cuz. I know.

And I love when people flip out. Like, what are you talking about? You got the cultures wrong. I'm not Korean. I'm Chinese. Or I'm not fucking Irish. I'm British. It's like, shut up.

Do you realize just the order that we all fucking, the imagined order that we all live under? As soon as you're born, you're just part of this imagined fucking order. Shut up. Who cares what fucking part of the island you're from? You're a human that's under the same imagined order, and you're connected to the same human condition. So stop trying to make yourself more important with your dumb fucking narcissistic ego by telling me that you're not fucking Vietnamese. You're Cambodian.

Who gives a shit? And that goes for any race. Yeah, but— Yeah! That was a steel pipe, Chrissy. Yeah, but it's just annoying. It's like, I know we can't stop it, but it's like, can people check their ego? Just fucking.

Can you just at least periodically check your ego? Because I imagine that we have a lot of Chinese fans. Which I love them. And I can just imagine that every time your blood pressure goes up a little bit and you go on a rant like that, I just picture them in their car shivering like a scared dog in the rain. Yeah.

Because they know that maybe the temperature in the studio might have gone above 82. And just certain people are not safe when that happens. Yeah, and I'll tell you what, if the Korean dry cleaner in my corner shrinks my button downs again, I'm going to call ICE. I think that needed a way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way.

Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. Way. I love all races religious but I do Wei Shanxin, if you knew the podcast, that means we're joking. We're kidding.

Of course, I love all races, religions. But I do believe in the imagined order and that our cultures, yes, they're important. But don't take too much fucking pride in it because none of it really matters, including my own culture. Just stop. Yeah. I mean, look. It's just ridiculous. Chrissy's from a very enlightened place called Ridgewood Queens.

Ridgewood Queens, yeah. And he grew up believing in diversity and in equality. Yeah, and I'm gonna have My daughter's birthday party At VFW Hall If you guys wanna come Absolutely So what are the major differences

Between Catholic and Protestant Because this is a war That you're on the front lines for I'm a spectator Because I'm an orthodox Turkish kid Ew So me and Isis

We're just a couple Turks Yeah We're on the outside But you guys have been Gross We need a Yeah we need a Gross bite Me and Isis, we're just a couple Turks. We're on the outside, but you guys have been- Gross! Yeah, we need a gross bite. Yeah.

So you guys have been massacring each other for fucking a millennia, for like a thousand years. I don't know. What is it? I thought the biggest difference was that one believes that the bread is really his body and one believes it's just bread. Is that what the difference- What is it? You tell me. I don't know. Did you look it up? That's one of the differences. That's one big one, though, right? That's a huge one.

But you know, it's like these are the two. The big schism is Protestant, Catholic, and then in Islam, it's actually funny. And it's actually hilarious when you hear people be like, yeah, this is the truth because it's recorded history. It's like, Muslims slaughter each other. Yeah. I mean, slaughter each

other every fucking day. Sunnis and Shia just kill each other. And Protestants and Catholics fucking have been killing each other since the Reformation. Jews don't hurt each other. Jews are the only type of Jew.

No, but they have different levels of Jew. Jews got a different level. Well, it's like Sephardic, Hasidic. Well, no, that's where they're from, their area that they're from. No, Hasidic is a type of Jew.

You're right. It's a different type of Jew. It's a different kind of Jew, yeah. I used to think, I think it's, here's what it is. Orthodox Jews are just the strictest

form of Judaism. Okay. And then Hasidics are Orthodox, but they're their own thing. So I think you can be Orthodox without being Hasidics are Orthodox, but they're their own thing. So I think you can be Orthodox without being Hasidic, but you can't be Hasidic without being Orthodox.

And you have to be born into the Hasidic religion, right? Yeah. With cousin parents, unfortunately. It's what it is. I need a Weishangxing. Even though it's the truth. I don't think there's a Weishangxing. It's just a proven fact. I mean, you have a small group like that So that's maybe a more

It is what it is Yeah Sometimes you gotta bang out your cousin Like Chrissy Day Cause Yeah We're just not gonna talk about that anymore Yeah

It didn't happen And this is a public podcast We can't keep doing episodes Where you just We're gonna have to start paying ISIS Ten times as much just for him to edit out everything you say. Yeah! My life is entertainment.

Truman Show. Make no mistake, this is how much we love you fans, and this is why it is your duty as a fucking member of the matriarchy to spread the word and tell as many people as possible, because Chris bears his soul for you people. Yeah, and if you want to hear the fucking most wild shit,

go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys, because that's where we get him wild. Because, well, after every episode, as soon as these mics go off, Chris just looks at Isis and goes, you're going to have to edit that whole episode out. Yeah. So that's how wild it gets.

So some of the big differences are Catholics obviously worship in a church, chapel, or cathedral, and the Protestants have a church, chapel, and cathedral. So that's no different. That's the same. That's the same. So you guys don't fight over that. Okay. Okay.

Second coming of Jesus, both of you believe in it. Okay. Affirmed. Affirmed. Good. So when's he coming? Jesus? both of you believe in it. Affirmed, affirmed. Good. So when's he coming? Jesus? Yeah.

When's he coming back? I don't know. Well, I guess pretty soon. Yeah. Because if they're saying Trump's the Antichrist, I guess pretty soon. And now that, especially now that gay marriage is legal, that's probably when he's going to come because that means the devil has infiltrated. Ways of seeing. You're a good kid.

That's probably what the priests say. Even though, make no mistake, they're up in arms about gay marriage, but make no mistake, in the early 90s, they were playing with my butt. It's what it is. I blacked out. I just blacked it out. But make no mistake, there was some fingering around in my butt.

It is what it is. That's so funny. So both place of origins, they both agree, Palestine and Rome, Roman Empire. Oh, here we go. Here's the first difference. So they both believe in the Protestants and Catholics. Both believe in the second coming of Christ. His name

just might be Steve the next time he comes. Jesus was just a regular name back then. He may come back. His name might be Eugene, the son of God. Or Tito. It's going to be Kanye West. Maybe it is Kanye West. They both believe in the death by crucifixion. They both believe in the virgin birth.

Here's the first difference. Here we go. Catholics believe that there's only one God and that he has revealed himself as the Trinity. Protestants believe that there is only one God and that he has revealed himself. Okay, still the same. The Trinity. Trinity is good for both. Trinity is good for both. Trinity's good for both.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Yeah. Even though Catholicism and Protestantism both want to act like they're a monotheistic religion, but they're not. Yeah. Because you also believe in the devil as a god, too. Okay, here's a slight difference.

Catholic, Holy Bible, collection of canonical books in two parts, the Old Testament and the New Testament. The Old Testament, or as Chrissy D would call it, that's the Jew Bible, right? The Jew Bible, yeah, because we only deal with the New Testament. That's when you found out you were part Jew. Yeah, with the Old Testament. Yeah, that hit you as a

realization. Yeah, I remember when I found out the Old Testament was written by Jews, I couldn't eat for a week. Oui, c'est aussi. Yeah. Alright, so the Old Testament and the New Testament, and the Holy Bible collection, again, the Old Testament and New Testament, but the Protestants

go with the King James Version. Usually the King James Version, whereas the Catholics go with the Doyox, Rames, or Knox Version. I don't know, I'm not a Catholic. What's the difference? Does one of them shed Jesus in a different light? I think the Protestant one allows lesbians

to be preachers. Is that what it is? I'm just guessing. Do Protestants allow marriage amongst their priests? Yes. That's a big difference. That's a huge difference because that means the kids are safe in one and not safe in the other. That's what it is. Yeah. Way song she ain't.

Wrong one. What was that? That one was good though. What was that? Oh yeah, I like that. We were thinking of something yeah yeah um okay so like you said big difference the pope the clergy of the catholic church is the pope followed by cardinals archbishops bishops and priests monks and deacons and women can only be nuns yeah Yeah. Kind of like that. Yeah, keep women down. Yeah. And then the Protestants,

each church is independent and headed by pastors, elders, and deacons. This is, you know, Martin Luther. Yeah, Martin Luther and Calvin fucking broke. They said enough with the priests. They probably, the whole Protestant Reformation might have been, they say it was like,

hey, they were fed up with having to talk to God through a priest or through a hierarchy and this was more for the people. Protestantism was basically like the social, like if Catholicism was like capitalism it almost, in some ways, Protestantism was kind of like the socialism for the people.

All you need is a Bible and you can get in touch with God. But maybe the true story is that Martin Luther was touched as a kid. Could have been. Or Calvin was touched by a kid and they were like, enough of this shit. We gotta change religions. Martin Luther was a German kid. He was a German fucking kid. Yeah, Catholicism,

that was always a big problem and until you really break out of what it all means, you just deal with a lot of anxiety and guilt and a lot of stress because you feel like you can't really get clean of your sins until you go to confession on Saturday afternoons, and you feel like you're really not speaking to God unless you're in church. And if you feel like if you don't go to church every Sunday,

you're going to be – you're going to, like, go to hell. Not get raped. Yeah, and it's like you're not – yeah. And also if you don't – I'll never forget. I'll never forget. There was this illustration when I was in Catholic school, and this is what Catholics teach you. It was about going to church, and there was a picture of a bird and seeds. And there were different, there was a picture of, no, there were a picture of seeds.

It was just seeds, right? Because like we are the seed of light or whatever seed analogy they're making. So the one box just had the seeds and if you went to church the seeds grew into a plant. So that was one box, like a beautiful plant, right? Nice. Then the other box. So far cute. The other box, if you didn't go to church

you just didn't go to church and you just left the seeds there and you didn't give them any sunlight and water and the only way to give them sunlight and water was to show up at church every Sunday and ask your mom for five bucks to put in the donation basket. A bird, a crow would come and eat the seeds. And they had an illustration of your seeds being eaten. Then the third one was if you went to church, but you didn't pay attention and really invite the Lord and Jesus Christ into your heart in church every Sunday, your seeds would grow,

but it would be a twisted plant that would die soon. So that's what would happen. That's what I was taught in second and third grade. Yeah. So it's a little bit of a, of a scary fucking religion. Yeah. And, uh, that's, I think about, I used to think about that picture all the time.

And I used to think if I was in, if I was in church on my phone looking at toots, I would think of the plant growing in the... Wait, you were still going to church when the phone was out? I stopped going to mass religiously in 2013. Yeah. So, yeah. Do you hold the record for confessions in your church? You've got to be top 10. I don't know.

I mean, I used to go a lot. I used to go to confession like I go to the doctor now. Just every week. You would say you were neurotic about your soul. I was neurotic about my soul and I would cry every time I went to confession. And towards the end, because I was having premarital sex and I stopped going to church towards the end, I wouldn't even be able to face the priest

even though he knew my voice because I sound like Joan Rivers crying hysterical, you know, on the other side of that thing. So, so Father Steve knew who I was. Yeah. You sound like Edith from All in the Family a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, so, but that's, that's Catholicism. So there's, there's this thing. I mean, sometimes I just can't take how funny you are. Cause. I just want to throw something at your head. Yeah. I can't take it.

And then here's a good graphic song that I remember from when I was in second grade. I remember being in the—Saint Matthias had an upper church and a lower church. And we would always have—we would always go down to the lower church. And I'll never forget on Wednesdays, my mom would always make me a salami sandwich and I could never eat it. I could never eat it on Wednesdays. I could never eat it because we would go to the lower church mass at 1130, midday mass, 1130 AM from 1130 to 12. And then we would eat our lunch.

But there was a big, and the lower church had this huge crucifix statue and it had Jesus's like guts ripped open and like blood dripping down and it looked like the salami was about to eat. So I couldn't eat it. Yeah. So, so, um, cause it was basically the enemy's food. It was, well, well that, but it just, it was just gross. I was looking at this gory figure of Jesus and then the salami looked like his guts coming out.

And we used to have to sing this song every Wednesday. I don't remember all the words, but this was the chorus. Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble. Then the next verse was, were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble. And then it goes back and forth for that. So I had to look at him, look at Jesus dying, think about him being nailed to the tree, and then eat a salami sandwich.

Couldn't do it. That sounds like a fun time for a seven-year-old. I was seven, eight, nine years old singing that song. My mother would make me sing it out loud, like, on the weekends. Wow. What songs did you learn? Before you watched cartoons. Yeah, before I watched cartoons, she would say, make sure you sing the Nail Jesus to the Tree song. Now, I noticed two things while you were singing.

Yeah. One, that's fucking scary. Yeah. I mean, it's Halloween. I'm in a body. Did that sound scary to you even? Honestly. Yeah, that was weird. That's weird. It's a real song. I feel like things would get weird. Google, Zach, it's Halloween. Jihadi, I'm in a body. Did that sound scary to you even? Honestly. Yeah, that was weird.

That's weird. It's a real song. I feel like things would get weird. Google, Zach, if you can, I don't know if Google, were you there when they crucified my Lord's song? Yeah. Or were you there when they nailed him to the tree song? Because I'm sure I'm forgetting some powerful lyrics.

Because I'm not scared of ghosts, but if I saw 10 kids walking at me slowly singing that song, I'm running the other way. Yeah. I'm getting under the covers. That was scary. So I noticed that. And the other thing I noticed was you have no talent for singing. Absolutely zero. You're a talented kid in many other areas.

But I cannot sing. You just cannot sing. It was Brute's. No fumes. Zach, you grew up Muslim? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're not Zach, you grew up Muslim? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mechela. But you're not a...

Are you a good Muslim? Do you eat ham and all that? No, yeah, I don't practice. You don't practice. And you bang out... You bang white women? You bang toots, too, right? Yeah.

Yeah, that's part of not practicing. Yeah. Does your mom and pops, are they a couple... Are they muzzed out? Well, my mom was a... My mom was a convert, but like... Oh, that's right. Yeah, your dad made her submit to Islam, right?

Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. And yeah, my pops was, he was one of those who says he practices, but it's more like he doesn't practice what he preaches. He's more of a preacher than a practicer. Got it. Got it.

So your mom was what? What was her ethnicity? She was a devout Catholic. She went to church and everything. She's Latina, right? She's Latina? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she married a Muzzy. And your dad was Muzzy, right? Yeah. Did she think he was Muzzy when she first met him and then she realized she was already

pregnant because she's Latina? My grandma was really upset. We need a way. Way some shame. Because you made me spit up water. Yeah. I heard it late. It got into my brain late because I was listening. Yeah. I heard it late. It got into my brain late because I was listening to Zach and I heard it. I was like, oh.

Because we are culturally insensitive. Yeah, but you know what? But we're fucking hilarious. Yeah, we're hilarious and it doesn't matter because you fucking have made a lot of money impersonating a Puerto Rican transgender and you look like a Puerto Rican. Zach is half Puerto Rican and half Muslim and I have a Puerto Rican kid. That's it. That's it. half Muslim, and I have a Puerto Rican kid.

That's it! That's it! So basically you're saying your grandfather, your mom's dad, was probably pretty pissed off that your mom was with your dad. It was my mom. I don't think she ever met her dad, maybe like once, but her mom, my grandmother, was pretty pissed off. At the time, yeah, she just got used to it. Because she's Catholic and she's like, he's Muslim.

Well, she's a creationist, so she's like. Oh, wow. Yeah, so she's really. She's hardcore with it. Yeah. What's a creationist, so she's like... Oh, wow. Yeah, so she's really... She's hardcore with it. Yeah. What's a creationist again? That's people who... I think it's kind of taught in schools now.

They don't really believe in evolution. They believe that it was 5,000 years ago God created the Earth. Yeah, in six days, and then, yeah. Oh, okay. No, it was 5,000? Yeah. Dinosaurs don't exist. They're a hoax.

Right. Well, I mean, have you ever fucking seen a real dinosaur? Have you ever seen video of a footage seen a real dinosaur? Have you ever seen video of a footage of a real dinosaur? You know? Oui, son, si. Yeah. Oh, Johnny Cash,

were you there? Johnny Cash, were you there when they crucified my lord? Oh, it's probably a fucking good version then. Yeah, just play a little bit of it. If we could just play,

just a, I haven't heard this song in a while and I may start to cry again because I'm thinking of fucking stress memories from Father Bill.

For the only piece of property that he had in the world, and that was the robe. He was like a man. Were you there when they crucified my Lord? This is it, but it's different.

Rims. Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Come here, Stephen. Come into my back row. Now hand me my robe. Christopher? Sometimes it causes me to tremble. This is it.

Tremble. Christopher DiStefano, can you come into my back room and get my robe? I'm blacking out. You were a bad boy today at Sunday School, Chris. Oh, my God. I'm getting visions. Is anything coming back? Wait, Chris is tearing up. Oh, my God, I'm getting visions. Is anything coming back? Wait, Chris is tearing up.

Oh my God. Is this tough for you? A little bit. I'm thinking about Sister Bernadette, Sister Seraphine. Stop saying real fucking names, Chris. We're a public podcast. Fuck. I'm thinking about...

Wow. I'm thinking about Wow I'm thinking about All the nuns All my friends Is it coming No we're just doing this We're trying to activate Your memory

Shit Is there a priest penis By your head anywhere No but no Are you remembering Is anything coming back No I'm Yeah I'm

Trying to trigger his PTSD Yeah we're trying to trigger His PTSD right now I'm thinking about When Liam Skull fucked me On my mom's toilet Fuck

When he made He fucking put his dick In my mouth Cause Skull fucked me on my mom's toilet. Fuck. When he made me fucking put his dick in my mouth, guys. Because I was a young kid, you know? I was one of the younger kids. So they would do anything. So they fucked with me one day. They took a shit in my New York Knicks garbage can. And then put his dick in my mouth.

And told me it was all going to be okay. You were the run. And the only thing that fucking got me out of that place was this song. That's the way I was able to escape from him skull fucking me when I was 11 years old. I was just saying something, you know, I would sing were you there when they crucified my lord.

Because it's just called Catholic discipline. That's what it is. That's what that is, right? That's what that is. It's not a big deal. Sometimes, for a priest, sometimes the only way to screw it, to screw Catholicism into my head is with their dick in my ear. That's what it is! That's what it is!

That's what it is! Wait, did I make up were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Here. They just said it. Yeah. Johnny Cass is the best. It's hard to imagine that there was time.

Were you there when the stone was rolled away. I forgot that part. Yeah. Yeah. If Rafael DeLuca makes a fucking beat of this. Yes. Oh, we got to play Rafael DeLuca's new song. Oh, yeah, we'll do that too.

For the people at the end. There's no question that at some point many times in history a priest called a couple kids into his back chambers and put this song on as he was disrobing

like that scene in Pulp Fiction. Yeah. And he just closed the door and brought out the gimp. He was, yeah, unfortunately a few priests I was thinking more like Get Out, you know how the clink and they just

knock out, you hear that and it's just blackout. That's what it is, yeah, hit the teacup. I think there's been a couple of, unfortunately there's been a couple of kids on their knees throwing around a priest's meat in their mouth while this song is blasting in the background. I mean, it's just what it is. It's what it is. I'm a Catholic kid, I can say that, it's just true. It's just what

it is. It's a bit of a weird religion, but make no mistake, Catholics for a long time were selling tickets. We are not selling tickets anymore, but we were selling tickets. Well, you're not selling tickets in the Western world as much, but in South America, Africa, certain

parts, you guys are crushing it. Are we still the number one religion? Are we the biggest? Are we still the big boys? Nah, Islam. Islam's number one, man. Islam's number one. Ali Akbar, you know? It's what it is, right? So here's an interesting fact.

H-H-F-O-D. Khufud. Overarching fact is the word Protestant comes from to protest. Yes. Because it grew out of a protest of Catholicism. It was a rebuke of Catholicism and the clergy and the order of the clergy. And Catholic comes from the Greek adjective, katholikos, which means universal. Wow.

So, yas. That's cute. Yas. That's really fun Both agree on the identity of Jesus That he's the son With the father Which means father is God And the father and the son is one And the same God

The word was made flesh And dwelt among us In the flesh of Jesus That's like today it's off topic But just like where names come from I learned that America was named after Amedico Vestabucci Spanish kid? Italian kid It's off topic, but just like where names come from. I learned that America was named after a medical Vesta Bucci. Spanish kid?

No. Italian kid? Italian kid. Columbus hired him to make a map of like all the shit that he saw. And he thought the map. No, I'm sorry. The Columbus said. Here's the story.

Columbus said that, look, we just found. We found. He said, look, cuz he. Look, cuz he's Italian kid. Yeah. So look, cuz was this what we just found He said look cuzzy He's an Italian kid So look cuzzy This is what we just found There's no more fucking world to go now We found it

We got into it Because he thought they were in the West Indies He said we found the West Indies It's what it is So bang It's what it's going to do So he hired a German kid I forgot what his last name was

Like Hunter Mueller He's like a sick German name And he said make a map But this kid I think his name was Americos, Huntedmuller. He's like a sick German name. And he said, make a map. But this kid, I think his name was Americos Vestibucci or some shit like that. Can you find out what his name is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was America named after? It was like America Vestibucci.

He spoke up against Columbus and was like, you know, I think there could be more than this. I just think there could be more. So Wittenmuller, whoever the fuck made the map, decided to name this new land because Columbus wanted to name a new land, give the land a name. He just named it America after him. Amerigo Vespucci, a

Florentine navigator and explorer who played a prominent role in exploring the new world. Yeah. He was an Italian fucking kid. Make no mistake, like I said last week, without fucking Italians in the bustling cities of America, make no mistake,

your culture wouldn't be as good, your food wouldn't be as good, and you wouldn't be protected. And now we've just found out, without Italians, your country wouldn't even have a fucking name. It is what it is. I knew that was coming. By the way, quick correction Christianity is the number one religion in the world

Yeah Still number one, baby It's 2.4 billion and Islam is 1.8 billion We're still on top So step up, fucking So fucking have that holy war now Remember that, fucking ISIS We got you, cuz

Remember that, you dirty fuck So the Catholics, obviously one of the biggest differences between Protestant Catholics that they've killed each other so much over is Catholics affirm the authority of the Pope. And of course, the Protestants do not. No Pope. Now the Pope to you is just like, it's just like a God, right? It's a God. But to be honest with you.

Like, if your mother got to meet the Pope, she would definitely give him a cake and a brew. A hundred percent. She would fucking call my Aunt Eileen and say, Aunt Eileen, you got to go get the best Entenmann's you can find from Stomp and Chop. The Pope's coming over. Because if your mom met the Pope, would she shake like she was a teenager meeting the Beatles?

One thousand percent. The Pope is would she shake like she was a teenager meeting the Beatles? One thousand percent. The Pope is her guy. But to be honest with you, anybody after Pope John Paul II, PJP too, we just don't care. I mean, Pope John Paul II was just the fucking guy. PJ was the guy. So everybody else, like, you know, they had Pope Benedict. And, you know, now it's just like the Popes are just like Pope Francis. It's like, it's fine. But now there's just like the popes are just like Pope Francis. It's like it's fine.

But now there's just like a pope every few years. And Pope John Paul II was just the fucking guy. He was a rock star. He was the guy. He was just the guy. The Popemobile. He was the man. And, you know, he's a big kid.

He was a good kid. But, yeah, the pope is a big – I mean, the pope sold out Yankee Stadium. The pope moves tickets. Pope's a headliner. Pope could sell some tickets. This new Pope, he seems like he's got his head in the right place. Because when we look back at history, obviously we learned about Hitler and his big allure was that he could move tickets. There's no question Donald Trump moves tickets.

He sells tickets, this kid. Even the opposition, people against Donald Trump. You look at shows like Saturday Night Live. It's just a fact that it was a low-rated show before he became president, and he really rejuvenated it. 100%. Same thing with CNN.

Anytime you put on CNN, they are talking about Donald Trump. I mean, the kid moves tickets. He's like the rock star of the Republican Party. Listen, what you said to me earlier today when we were on the phone about Donald Trump, about him being the reckoning, is fucking a good point

because he is the media. He was created by the media, as you said. to me earlier today when we were on the phone about Donald Trump, about him being the reckoning, is fucking a good point because he is the media. He was created by the media, as you said. So when he says fake news and he brought these things to light, I mean, look, I didn't vote for the guy and it doesn't matter what my opinion of is him or isn't, but it's just like, honestly,

what he says most of the time, maybe you don't think it's right, but the kid ain't lying. The thing about Donald Trump that we were talking about before is that he was created by the media. He was a kid who was very well aware of the weaknesses of the

media from when he was kind of like in his early 20s and he created himself into a celebrity. He knew it's all bullshit. He would call and get himself in the gossip column by pretending to be his own publicist. Make no mistake, our media has been run by publicity,

by publicists who were paid to influence journalists, lobby journalists, and kind of negotiate the truth. You're in a game in this society. Make no mistake, the consumers are a pawn in this game And I'm not saying that

Because I know that I'm any better I'm a pawn in the game too but it just feels good to know But it doesn't change anything Nobody talks about it but the truth is Publicists Run the truth They control the truth You don't think

A lot of you are sitting there going, oh, publicists. If Jay-Z spills something at a restaurant, the publicist says, hey, that didn't happen. Jay-Z was petting retarded kids. Yeah, publicists do that. They lie. But guess who else uses publicists? Governments, countries, the military, publicists. It's a whole economy around fucking lying companies. Companies hire publicists. Publicists have taken over media.

And now we are living in the culmination of that equation. And Donald Trump is the reckoning, the consequence for this phenomenon. He was created by the media. He created himself by understanding that they lie. the media. He created himself by understanding that they lie. So when he calls them fake news, he knows a lot of them are because he used that to become who he is. He's not a real billionaire. He's not a safe, self-made man. He is a masterful marketer. And that's why nobody cares because truth is out the door and he knows it. And he helped killed it. He helped kill it. And that's why nobody cares. Because truth is out the door and he knows it. And he helped kill it.

And so did the publicist-driven media, which has been the norm for decades. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Fox News, Freddy Chase. Fox News, Freddy Fettichese. Here's the thing. I heard

that rant. It's a good point. I heard that. Unfortunately, I woke up and heard that at 10 o'clock in the morning, and I knew I was going to be in for a long day with Giannis, and he was going to be on his rant, and he was 18 coffees deep, because I looked up, and I checked my Instagram, and I saw that he was out at 3 o'clock in the morning, smoking

a cigar, walking his dog, talking, and looking at trees by the water by himself at 3 a.m., and then I saw a tweet that he said, the wheels of history are greased with blood. I said, uh-oh, I'm going to be in for a day. It's just what it is. So, yeah. Thank God we have this podcast. Yeah, but it's true, man.

It's really true. And it's gotten to the point now where it's just propaganda. The comedians you hear about, it's just someone being pushed. Whatever you're watching, it's forced social engineering. That's what they're trying to do. It's just forcefully socially engineer, and they're trying to push whatever their agenda is. Even if it's not what people want, they're trying to push it across.

And that's propaganda. It's gotten to the point where the news is propaganda. It's become a joke. I mean, it's become a wrestling match. It's not real. It's a WWE wrestling. Like Donald Trump is going to be running against who he calls Pocahontas

She just Elizabeth Warren Elizabeth Warren just released her DNA results And made a promo video To let Donald Trump know That she has like 3% Native American It's a fucking promo video She's cutting to be like yeah I'm gonna run

I am fucking Pocahontas But is she gonna beat out The Rock? I don't think she's going to beat The Rock, no. Could The Rock truthfully become the next president of the United States? Yeah, because that's what we've become. So could Kanye. It's just a popularity contest. You don't need to know what you're talking about.

You don't need to know what you're fucking doing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, that's what it is. Should we just scrap the whole constitution and president thing and just do kings and queens? Look, I don't even, like you said, I don't even think you can get mad at it. I think it's just inevitable. It's so far down the toilet, right?

It's just inevitable, yeah. I mean. But did every, let me ask you this. Did every group, like your father, who just celebrated his 90th birthday, who looked good in your pictures on Instagram. He looked good. There was one picture where I thought his head might fall off, but it stayed on for the party. Shout out to fucking Yanni Pappas' pops, Papa Pappas.

Does he think it's the worst it's ever been now? Or is it just like a revolution? Is there always a budding revolution? No, if you talk to him, and he's all there, by the way. He's all there, yeah. It's like a circus. Kid still paints in his underwear. Yeah, he still paints in his underwear. His brain is all there. It's like a circus. Kid still paints in his underwear. Yeah, he still paints in his underwear.

His brain is all there. It's like a circus. Yeah. I think that's the best way to describe it. It just kind of looks like a circus. That's what your pop says. Yeah, it's kind of like an out-of-control circus. So the worst it's been is now, he feels.

Yeah. The reality of the worst has been. I mean, the fears have been worked up before, but I think it's— Yeah, World War II and Vietnam and the Cold War, that was more fearful, probably. You thought a bomb was coming. Right, but that was the beginning of having the capability to— I mean, look, modern warfare could cause destruction in World War I. That's when chemical warfare started.

Yeah. We will do an episode one day on World War I, because make no mistake, or specific battles, that war was fucking Baroots, Muggles. A lot of people died. The introduction on the world stage, chemical warfare. Yeah. So that's when warfare got started. You love to say the world is stage. World is stage.

Shakespeare. Yeah, you love to say it. Yeah. So that's when warfare started to get scary. Right. So just really World War I. Before it was obviously Brutes, Magoots. Right. But nobody could really say, hey, if there's a war, the world's to get scary. Right. So just really World War I. Before it was obviously brutes magoots. Right. But nobody could really say, hey, if there's a war, the world's going to end. Right.

It's like, hey, you can't end the world with your sword or your bow and arrow. Right. It's like now actually we have the capability to split atoms and artillery is just so powerful that you could literally cause it. We could end the world today. I mean, mutually assured destruction is the only thing keeping us here, which is a scary fucking thought. It's not that we're enlightened that we've stopped. The only thing that's stopping us from not being here is both sides going like, hey, I'll kill myself if I kill you. So as soon as somebody gets suicidal, it is what it is.

The end is near. Because it's only going to take one guy to send a bomb. Because like we learned in Germany, what happens when you throw bombs at someone? They're going to throw bombs back. They throw bombs back, yeah. Yes. So it is what it is. What it is.

Because I have a low-grade fever. Because I have a low-grade fever. So Catholicism started in 315 A.D. Yeah. Council of Nicaea was 325 A.D. Yeah. Yeah, which we're going to do an episode on that about Constantine. Because when we do the Council of Nicaea, we're going to lose a lot of fans. I don't care.

I'm fucking ready to go in, because make no mistake, this podcast is brought to you by the Reich! Weiss on Schiette. I'm just kidding. I just got a little surge of energy, and I wanted to say something funny, and I apologize. I do not support Nazis or their propaganda or anything Adolf Hitler stood or stood for. The only thing I will say that's cute about the Nazis

is their uniforms. They were designed by Hugo Boss. Yeah! But remember, we found out that was... Yeah! That wasn't even a real thing. Oh yeah, that wasn't a real thing. Okay, so I'm going back to the Nazi uniforms. Gross! Also, when you found out you were German, you found out you were a Protestant kid, because Germans are Protestant. Yeah, Martin Luther. But you grew up

an Irish Catholic kid, but you're more German. You're Protestant. I'm a Protestant cat. Protestants started in 33 AD. So they got to jump. So for a couple hundred years'm a Protestant cat. Protestants started in 33 AD. So a couple hundred years, it was just freaking the Vatican. You think it's a coinkydink that Protestants started in 33 AD, the year Christ

died? I don't think so. 33 AD is not the year Christ died. Yeah, Christ died in 33 AD. He died when he was 33 years old. Duh. I feel like a fucking dick. Christ died in the year zero. No, Christ was born in the year zero.

Oh, shit. I fucked up. He died in 33, dumb fuck. That's so fucking true. I mean, like, what are you even thinking about? Wait, so this- It's so fun to talk like this. It is. We're going to do-

Remember, we're going to start doing- First of all, we're doing walk and talks for $10. Our Patreon has been revamped. $10 to get the walk and talk. Yeah. Guess what else you're going to do a member. We're going to start doing. First of all, we're doing walk and talks for $10. Our patron has been revamped $10. You get the walk and talk. Yeah. Guess what else you're going to fuck? Guess the 250 are going to get our fucking gay voice exclusive bonus. If I just did a whole fucking five minute set like this and I mentioned like how dope Hillary was and I fucking told you that I voted for Bernie Sanders and I just told you a fucking story about like my roommates and shit,

I would literally be on the Tonight Show. Fucking, I am so off about these origins. It doesn't make sense. Because Protestants starting in 33 AD doesn't make fucking sense. And the Catholic Church in 315 doesn't fucking make sense. ISIS, can you fucking correct me?

I mean, duh, you're just like a dumb fuck and you have early onset and like oh gross fuck yeah i do know catholics believe in eternal salvation in heaven eternal damnation in hell fuck yeah we do and a third state before heaven known as fucking purgatory purgatory which you can only get to if you have an abortion or you kill yourself yeah that's those are the rules with perg. Protestantism is popularly. So nothing is like certain about these things. So Protestantism is popularly considered to have begun in Germany in 1517. With Martin Luther.

Martin Luther published his 95 thesis as a reaction against abuses. Of King fucking Henry VIII. That's why he fucking. That was a reactionary religion because King Henry. But when did Catholicism start? That's the eighth. That's why he fucking, that was a reactionary religion, because King Henry, cuz. But when did Catholicism start? That's the question. Well, Council of Nicaea is when it really started in 325 AD. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, look, it was a little sect, because we know that Catholicism was born out of Judaism, so it's like a little, like, crazy little fucking sect. But then it, like, officially started to take off. What I learned from Sister Earl Mary is 325 AD,.D. at the Council of Nicaea is when it was decided the Gospels were started in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. And we told all the other Gospels that made Jesus look like a dick.

We just threw away. And then we just started with our little cute religion. So, yeah, there's no, like, exact numbers on anything, but what I can see, for almost a thousand years, Christianity and Catholicism were one, and then there was a schism between the Church of Rome

and other faiths, which began with the split of Orthodox Christians in 1054. That's where I became. Yeah, that's Orthodox. That's me. It's all around that time period, 1054. Here's a big difference between Protestants and Catholics.

So Catholics believe in purgatory. Protestants, there is no purgatory. So where do you go when you die? They say those that trust in Jesus as Savior go to fucking paradise, because those that trust in their own works for salvation go to hell. So if you believe in yourself as a Protestant, you're going to hell. Wow. If you have self-esteem, you're going to hell.

So what does that say? So can a feminist also be a Protestant or it's not going to work? No, she's going to hell. She's supposed to be putting that faith in herself and her femininity. She's supposed to be putting that into Jesus Christ, the patriarchy. Wow. Actually, Catholics are more feminist because the Virgin Mary is a bigger deal in the Catholic Church. Oh, the Virgin Mary is huge.

Hold on. There. The Virgin Mary is big. And we also believe, and I think that, I mean, I know Catholics believe that, you know, in the Immaculate Conception, I don't think Protestants do. I don't think Protestants believe Mary was a virgin. Well, here's a big problem. That's a big problem, yeah, because the truth is she wasn't. She got banged out.

I feel fucking. She got banged out. Chris, look me truth is she wasn't. She got banged out. I feel fucking She got banged out. Chris, look me in the eye. No! She got banged out. Jesus had brothers. She got fucked. I'm not gonna go to hell for this. I'm not gonna go The Virgin Mary told you Were you there when they crucified my

Lord? So, here's a big one. Confessing sins. Obviously Catholics have to go to God through a priest. That's where the problem starts. Saturday afternoons, one o'clock. I would get my own private suite with father Bill.

Yeah. And Protestants to speak to God, they go through Jesus. Okay. Well, that's better. I like to have my own relationship with Jesus. Yeah. Well, you can't, you gotta have, it's gotta go through father abroad Well, that's better. I'd like to have my own relationship with Jesus, but I can't.

It's got to go through Father of the Broad. He's like the middleman. It's kind of like the agent. You're speaking to God. He's kind of like God's agent. Confession's a good way to get kids and to get victims through your thing, like kind of how when Jerry Sandusky just would be like, you know what, I'm going to start a football camp because these are all the victims.

They've got no other way to go, so it's a good deal. Here's a good one. The status of women. Treated with respect, but women are not allowed to be priests. However, they can become nuns, like we said. Now the Protestants treated with respect. Usually women are not allowed to be part of the clergy, but are permitted

to teach or work in other areas. And I know a lot of Protestant sects have changed that now. There are preachers who are women in some of these churches. Resurrection of Jesus, they both believe in that. View of other Abrahamic religions. According to Catholic doctrine, Catholicism is the original Christian church. Christianity is the true religion. Judaism is a true religion.

But they do not believe Jesus is the Messiah. Islam is a false religion. Wow! Pagan religions are also false. That's what the Catholics believe. Protestants believe

Judaism is a true religion, but they do not believe Jesus is the Messiah. And they believe Islam is a false religion, but they do not believe Jesus is the Messiah, and they believe Islam is a false religion. Wow! I love Islam! They both obviously believe the Savior is Jesus Christ. The geographical predominance of both religions, Catholicism is still crushing it. In Italy, the Philippines, Latin America, like we mentioned, is huge.

France, Spain, Mexico, Poland, Ireland. Whereas Protestantism is almost exclusively North America in Europe. And that's really pretty much it. Catholics are everywhere else for the most part, the majority. Now here's the human nature. Catholics believe humans are free to devote themselves to knowledge and communion in the image of God. Original sin, which is inherited from Adam, and we have a tendency

towards evil. So infants must be fucking baptized. You gotta be scared to death and dunked in water. You have to be dunked in water because we're pieces of shit. The only way you're accepted into the Catholic community and the gates will open for you is if you were baptized, which you guys weren't. So bye.

Yeah. Well, the Protestants, I got to admit, are a little more reasonable on this one. They feel more reasonable. Yeah. Well, original sin, they inherited from Adam, tendency towards evil, same as the Catholics. But the sin of the fathers do not pass through the son. Therefore, children are holy. And until they reach the age where they can know good from evil, their sins are not held against them.

So because what you did in the privacy of your own home when you were a kid, Protestants, you're clear. What age was I not clear? Well, according to Protestants, you know, I don't know. That's a good question. What's the exact age where Protestants start holding you accountable? I don't know. It's not when you're a kid. So probably if you couldn't shoot glue,

you were probably clear of the sin. Alright, that's good, because I was shooting blanks on my cousin. So, yeah, in the Catholic Church, you grew up unfortunately, that was a bad sin, even though you were a kid. But the Protestants say you don't know right from wrong yet, so they absolve you. Yeah! Because kids are holy, yeah.

Now, Mary. Mary is considered favored among women and was chosen by God to be the mother of Jesus through the virgin birth. Yep. Never took any dicks. And that's the truth. Thus she's considered holy because she's virgin and may be prayed to as an intercessor to God. That's what you people believe. That's the Catholics.

And that is the truth. That is the scientific truth. That is actually the scientific truth, and I submit to God. That's what you people believe. That's the Catholics. And that is the truth. That is the scientific truth. That is actually the scientific truth, and I submit to that. And the Protestants believe Mary is considered favor among women and was chosen by God to be the mother of Jesus through the virgin breast. Same thing, but is otherwise simply a human with no other special attributes. How fucking dare they? Wow. Wow.

She's not a god, cuz. She's not an intercessor to God. Wow. You know what? Just for the entire fucking Protestant religion, I'm just gonna take a moment for their sins and just give them a Hail Mary. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed

is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. That's for the fucking Protestants. Yeah! That's for the Protestants out there, just in case. Yeah. Now here's your point. The significance of the Eucharist. Yes. For the Catholics

commonly termed the mystic supper or divine liturgy. This makes present Christ's sacrifice and therefore forgiveness of sins is obtained through it. It is also an encounter with the risen Christ. It's the same thing in Orthodox. Protestants, important as a symbolic remembrance of Christ's death, and that's

it. The saints, Protestants, anyone who believes in Jesus as Savior is a saint. Wow. It's not an exclusive Hall of Fame like you guys believe. We got the Hall of Fame. We only got a few people and they all control different things, like traffic, birthdays. That's kind of like the people, and they all control different things, like traffic, birthdays. That's kind of like the Greek gods.

Different saints do different things. Oh, really? Yeah, St. Christopher is the god of traffic. Or St. Anthony's is traffic if you're in traffic. Or driving. I meant to say patron state of driving. Yeah, well, that's what they say. A special group of holy people who are venerated.

They may act as intercessors between God and man. So you could pray to the saint. You don't have to pray to the god. In Catholicism. In Catholicism, yeah. Yeah, you could pray to saints. Wow. Which all just just like then there's not one true god you know so everybody's a little different gods it's more of a polytheistic religion but we make don't say that no you're fighting that it is not that is fucking you will fucking that's a sin to say that you'll get burned

who aren't in heaven hell will be there any kingdom come they will be done on earth there's one god true god one true god trinity father son holy spirit well there's three. There's one God. True God. One true God. Trinity. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Well, there's three, but he's one. Exactly. You got it? The Holy Trinity, yeah. But it's one. It's only one true God, but he's three. You fucking understand? I do. Don't be sinning here. The angels

are... Yeah. Religion, which AC's know, faith in God plays an important role. They're pretty much the same after that. Everything else is, I don't know if I'm missing any other huge differences. I don't know. Yeah, they both believe Jesus died for their sins.

Faith in God plays a very important role in both, obviously. They think everything else is pagan. They don't believe in it. False. Everything's false. Everything's fucking false except – and that's it. The Catholics believe the Bible and catechisms. I don't know what catechisms are, which may be added to or amended to by the pope.

It's like a constitution. What are catechisms? Catechisms? Yeah, because the Protestants leave the Bible alone and each person must verify all teachings. They just have the Bible, but the Catholic Church has catechisms. What's that?

It's a summary or exposition of doctrine and serves as a learning introduction to the sacraments traditionally used in catechism. It's something kind of like, not amendments, but within that line of kind of thinking. Wow. Yeah. All right. Well, those are the fucking huge differences.

And don't you fucking forget it. Isn't it wild that you ever think that Martin Luther and Martin Luther King Jr. had the same name? The dude responsible for Protestantism was named that dude. I mean, for a very long time, I just thought it was the same guy. I didn't know that there was one Martin Luther and one Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah, man.

He was a monk, dude. He was a priest. He was a monk. He was a Catholic kid, but he rebelled, cuz. Fucking handsome kid, too, no? Both Martin Luthers were handsome kids. Martin Luther looks like my friend

Jesse Scatoro a little bit. Yeah. I'm looking at this picture of him right now. He looks like Jesse Scatoro. You guys don't know who he is, but he looks like Jesse. Doesn't he look like Jesse a little bit? He does look like Jesse a little bit. He looks like a cute kid. Kaka kaka kaka kaka kaka kaka cute! Yeah, so what was it

called? The 95 thesis where he just kind of spelled out basically. Yeah, he like nailed it to a church door. And that was it. And then Germanyany was fucking that was the first revolt where germany was like we're different we're going to do this different we're not going to obey the italians but then the germans and italians ended up fucking teaming up in world war ii cuz he was he yeah the fucking good guys and listen today was a fucking good episode it It was all about the good guys. And my favorite part of the episode is when we get to read out loud the newest fucking additions to the good guys, the matriarch, the newest members of the Patreon community. They went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and signed the fuck up. And cuz, make no mistake, today we got a few new members.

We are starting to sell tickets a little bit. Like we're Catholics, like we're Hitler. We're starting to sell some ticks. Yeah. So here's what it is. So the first fucking guy, the first guy who just signed up, make no mistake, his name is James Brown. Come on now. Wait, hold on.

What was his big thing? Hit me. Hit me. Wait, hold on. What was his big thing? Hit me. Wait, hold on. This is fucking... Get up off of that thing. Oh, get up off of that thing. James Brown, you're welcome, brother. Okay, so James Brown. Then we have

Edward Dale. Then we got Uncle Ricky Swinging Stickies. Come on, guys. Get creative with these Patreon names. That's fucking great. Oh, then we got one of your boys, Nicodemus Papaladopoulos. Then we have Kiara.

Kiara? She's definitely an Irish girl. Welcome, Kiara, to the matriarchy. Then we have Scott Davis. And then we just have a mistake. Kiara? Kiara. No fumes. No friarchy Then we have Scott Davis And then we just have a mistake Kiara? Kiara No fumes

No fumes Then we have Scott Davis Thank you, Scotty And then we just have this again Scott Davis sounds like a kid who'd kill his wife and put her on a boat He probably did Yeah Then we have the Nora Cupcake Company

Which I think they just must keep deleting their account and then rejoining Or they just keep upping their money I think they're upping their money And they're one of our big They're like our Medici family right now. Yeah, the Medici's put us up. Nora Cupcake Company, thank you guys so much for everything. And go to Nora Cupcake Company on Instagram.

Their sweets are fucking good. Here's the great thing about Nora Cupcake Company. They were big before we started shouting them out, because they came down and they brought us a fucking pseudo-penis cake. Yeah. And then we got Lauren Nicole, who doesn't have a last name and no profile picture. Yeah, she sounds like she was on the hills on MTV.

Then we have, I got to just read, just let me read these because there's a lot. Oh, okay. Yeah. Then we have Andrew Rella, who always just signs up and deletes. Then we have Kacen Carr, whose name I read last week. Then I have Sedarian Hayes, who's definitely a black kid. Black kid.

Sedarian? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Sedarian. What's up? Alexia Zoe. Greek. Then we have Tom Zappia, who's Rafael DeLuca's boy.

Yeah. Who sends videos. Then we have Jonathan Evans, three question marks, keep it tight. Oh, he's a Flagrant 2 fan. Keep it tight. Yeah, what's up, fellas? Then we have Kevin Taylor, another black guy. Yeah, for sure.

Thank you, Kev. I fucking love the support from all the different races and religions. Because we are loved by everyone because we do love everyone. Yeah. We just have a good time and take the piss, as they say. It's fucking great because in the beginning it was just white people, but now it's fucking opened up and I fucking love it. No, it was all trans people at the beginning. Oh yeah, the beginning was just transsexuals.

We were just supported by the trans community. So Kevin Taylor, thank you. Then we have Jonathan Urena. Ooh, that's a good, I don't know what that is. Then we have DVNT underscore Pinky. I like that. K.O. Saturn. K.O. Saturn, who sent us a message and said if we could guess his ethnicity

he would sign up for the $500 a month level. Okay, hold on. Let me get it. I'm going to go with Nepalese. K.O. Saturn, Nepalese. I'm going to go with, if you want Nepalese, I'm going to go with Afghanistan. Yeah, Afghanistani. Afghani.

Afghani, you're right. Andrew Pace. A fucking kid. Patricia Linsalata. What? Patricia Linsalata. What? Patricia Linsalata. Hispanic? I think so.

She just has a cat as her profile pic. That's right. Daniel Beamer. Daniel Beamer. Hello, kid. Matthew Miranda. Here's a great one. Here's this person's Patreon name is Fumeless Blondes.

No fumes. Oh, then we got one of my cousins Salvatore Cata Bellota Like literally? No but I mean just a fucking Cata Bellota No you're German kid Salvatore Cata Bellota Ben Church Andrew DeVore

Jennifer Grey who looks like a piece Yes a piece Zach Yes, a piece. Zachary Hallwell, Melanie Miller. Wow. Andrew McLean. Yeah. Steve Crafton. Cute.

John Rosa. What's up? Jessica Tortes. Que pasa? Edward Faney. How you doing there, Edward Faney? Then we have Eddie Berto, Alan Vela. Que pasa, mi gente?

Then we have GDdo2 Alan Vela. Que pasa, mi gente? Then we have GD, though, 2K10. Booty boo. Then we have Nikos Maridakis. De canes, po' Cicere. Then we got Lord motherfucking Lampshade. Yo, what's up, man? Here's my demo tape. Jonathan. Hey, guys. My name's Jonathan.

I am so crispy. Yo, I like the things in my butt. Oh shit, Reggie Wells. Yo, what's up? Yo, we got a lot of blacks. Oh, Reggie, Regis Wells. I'm sorry, Regis Wells. Oh, Wasp Alert. No, no, he's black. Oh, he's red?

Yeah, he's got a beautiful fucking profile pic. He looks like a cute kid. And listen, Regis, if you are listening to Max and Stubbins, just know that Stubbins think you're very cute. Yes, we love black eyes. Okay. Sam Baptiste. All right. Then we have just Lewis.

One word. What's up, Lewis? Paul Trujillo. Wow. Samuel Horn. Samuel Horn. And last but not least. Yeah.

Our fucking killer in the flesh, Chris the Teacher. Are you kidding? Yeah. Well, what did he upgrade? He upgraded. So if you upgrade, you get your name read aloud too That's another perk we give you guys Thank you guys so much

And if you guys want to join the matriarch Or tell your friends, go to patreon.com And you can be a part of the matriarch Where we do patreon only Podcasts that get fucking wild We do walk and talks, we do videos And we got a whole bunch of fucking new rewards and tiers on our Patreon.

So go check them out. We just revamped the whole thing and it's click, yeah. And we just added a level that we're going to just have fun with thinking about that maybe one person might fulfill. I think it's for $250 a month, right?

Or $500 a month, I think. Oh, no, it's $500. Yeah. It's called the Meduchi Pseudo Penis. Maybe Chris Special. You get to hang out with us at the Oh, no, it was $500. Yeah. It's called the Medici pseudo-penis, maybe Chris special. You get to hang out with us at the end of the year and kill us both. Yeah, for $500 a month. $500 a month after a year of supporting us at

the level, at that Medici family level of $500 a month. You can hang out with the both of us all day and kill us if you want to. You can fucking take us to Poughkeepsie and put two in our heads. Yeah, have a good day. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Bye.