History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 40 - This Show is Still WILD!!!

Episode Date: November 11, 2018

EVERYTHING IS A WEI ZHONG XIAN in this ep!!! The boys are back in the studio with no history topic but just their classic selves going absolutely WILD!!! Chris just became an official homeowner in Bay Ridge Brooklyn. Their bestie Mad Dog James Mattern just moved into the neighborhood too and is the newest member of the Bay Ridge Boys! Chris and Yanni discuss their feelings towards the elections, encouraging people to do whatever they want! Yannis asks the show's new producer, Mike Suarez, about which way his voting. He claims to the left, but the boys get into discussing that most people feel they need to hide their political beliefs. Chris tells Yannis that he is excited to be doing Stupid Questions on Comedy Central with Jim Gaffigan and that he might move the vegetables with the kid!! Chris does warn Yannis to stop saying things like cognitive dissonance or pejorative or he may act like it's above 90 degrees!! They also talk about Chris' dating life and how he has interacted with a few lately. The whole time Yannis just can't handle it because Chrissy D is just too damn funny!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys. History Hyenas. Bad. Hyena. I'm a hyena. And what's my name? Hyena.

What's his name? Hyena. Say Hyenas. Hyenas. Hyena. Yes, my little one. There's only one podcast in the universe, not just the world, but in the entire universe and in the history of mankind, or her kind, however you want to call it, that has hyena cackles with freestyle beats coming to you once a week.

Yeah. Yeah. Make no mistake. Welcome to the History Hyenas podcast. I am Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy Kavanaugh. With me as always, Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. Giannis Christine Ford, a.k.a. Chrissy homeowners.

Chrissy just fucking closed on a hoe. Like we told you before, Chrissy was unquestionably, unfortunately, a squatter in his home. But now he has closed and you are officially a shareholder. And I'm not going to give away the address. Yeah, but if you want to look on Instagram, you can find it because they took a picture of me at the closing holding the certificate, and it has the address on it. Yeah, Susan Little, our real estate broker, take it down. Take it down, and make no mistake, I was squatting, but unfortunately, at the closing closing i did get hit for the two months of maintenance fees because the guy who sold to me is a jew but it was a fair move but it's a fair

move cut when you're using you're joking can we get the way of course i was just kidding of course i was just joking obviously i'm joking of course he's joking of course but you were using the water i was using the water no everything let's you Everything, let's, you know, people, it's common, you know, people say all the time, oh, that's a Jew move or that's, it's not. Jewish people are, they do what's fair and right. There are times where like somebody else will be like, oh, I'm not going to charge you that. But, you know, it's like, why? I use your services, so I deserve to be charged.

But you do have two holes in your ceiling that need to be filled. That I need to be fixed because make no mistake, the super in the building is a muzzy. Wei Shanshan. Yeah. So unfortunately, he's keeping that hole open because that's where he hides uranium because he's building a nuke. Yeah. Wei Shanshan, Wei Shanshan. Yeah.

I'm just kidding. You gladly paid what you owed for that maintenance, but make no mistake. Yeah. There's two holes around the pipes in your ceiling, and if they're not filled, certain people are just not safe. You know who's.

And cuz, here's what just the truth of the situation is. I did close on the house today, so I had to shell out a big certified check today. And then we went to go get emergency sliced pizza, and my credit card was declined. Make no mistake. It's just what it is. You're just going to have to let me borrow some money until the next check clears. Cuz, make no mistake. I could tell by the way you were dressed today that you had a meeting with white people.

Yeah. You had a pea coat white people yeah you had a p-coat on and a button down yeah but because you did not have a rangers jersey on yeah so i knew you were doing official business yeah but make no mistake i still even though i had to be dressed for business i still didn't did have on uptown nike sneakers because i am part mavri well that's the beautiful thing about Mavri here's the deal Mavri's a good word

to use as a microcosm for how this trying to ban words thing happens and it goes back to our point which is a big point that we that bleeds over into other episodes of history Hyenas. And that is we're talking about just mankind.

Weisongxian. Yeah. Mankind is shitty. Mankind is just shitty. Right? So it's like it's not the word that's the problem. And what I'm saying is mavri in Greek means just black. It just means black.

Like it's just like, oh, your shoes are black. Your coat is black. It's mavri. Yeah. But because Greeks say so many messed up things around the word maverick right because greeks are just racist kids right the word maverick has now kind of become a pejorative i see so that's what happens it's the same thing like with the word jew yeah just like there's nothing wrong with the word jew it's the things are wrong with the people who say it because people are shit.

Because you know what I do? We're good kids. We are good kids. We say horrible things, but we're good kids. You know what I like to do, especially when I'm writing or texting. Put panties on and jerk off. Yeah, I like to tuck it back. That's why that meme he posted was hilarious.

Tuck it with the Buffalo Bill from Science of the Land. Because make no mistake, I know that you put on Simply Red and you tuck it back and you do a lapus in the mirror. Because unfortunately, the truth of the matter is there are a lot of times where I tuck my dick back and I rub the top of my dick and I make believe it's a clit and I can climax watching the QVC. It's just what it is.

Have you ever put on Ace of Base and danced around a little bit naked with La Puss? Yeah. Absolutely. There's a lot of times where I'll get butt naked and I'll go under the covers and I'll sit like a girl. Like how that time you took a picture of me with my legs up to the side. If we could post that pic. That's how I sit sometimes alone watching my shows.

Here's the truth of the matter. The truth of the matter is you're a little bit feminine. Right. But so was Prince. Right. So was Prince. So was Cat're a little bit feminine right but so was prince right so was prince so was so is kat williams a little bit yeah i think guys who really love puss yeah act like puss a little bit yeah you have to be what you're trying to attract because girls like that and look let's let's let's call a spade a spade and let's be completely honest because you're a venus fly

trap that's what i am you look like it open, and then you just pound on pause. But let's be honest. I mean, I'm an emotional kid. My parents got divorced. It didn't work out. I was around my mother a lot, so I definitely developed a feminine side. And then let's just be honest and lay all the cards on the table here. I did get skull fucked by a close friend of mine when I was 12 years old because that really happened. So I I was just sitting down taking a shit and they came in with their dicks out

and I had to fucking suck a dick. So it's just, that's not good. But we tell you, that's just Catholic discipline. We're not supposed to talk about that. You're supposed to have dealt with that in the confession booth with the Hail Marys. I thought it was all squared away with Jesus. Yeah, because you know what?

You know he probably asked for forgiveness when he went to confession. Because it's, listen, unfortunately, I'm actually thankful for Tommy McDermott for fucking skull-fucking me that one day. Because it really made me kind of get in touch with who I am and what I want to be. And I feel like I wouldn't be the comedian I am today if those kids didn't come in that day and just slap me in the face a little bit with their dicks and laugh at me. And what else? They also took a shit in your garbage can.

They took a shit in my garbage can and then they pushed my mother's air conditioner out the window. But you know, that's just, what they were trying to do is just teach you a lesson that it needs to be screwed in better. Yeah. And then what they did, what they used to do too is they used to. So what did you have to tell your mom when she asked why the air conditioner wasn't, you couldn't just say, mom, I got bullied because you wouldn't want her to worry or

go talk to their parents. I just said, I said, I said that I said that I was playing football with my friends in the house and I back into it and I'm sorry and she was like, all right, thank God no one was hurt and she just got another air conditioner. Added a couple of brews. Yeah, and then what they also used to make me do is they used to make me get butt naked and put on – I had this New York Giants football helmet. They would make me get butt naked and put on my mom's high heel shoes and put on the

New York Giants football helmet and they would order Chinese food and make me go downstairs and receive the delivery from the Chinese food butt naked with the helmet on. They would laugh and throw wet toilet paper at me as I came up the stairs. It's just what it is. I love that I find out a little bit more about you while millions of people also find out more about you. Yeah. It's just because I don't have a filter and that's okay, right? Because there's just been plenty of times, I believe, while you were growing up, that your mother just wasn't sure which way you were going to go. Right.

Because there were certain times she saw you studying real hard. Yeah. There were certain times she saw you going out real early. Yeah. You know? Yeah. With your basketball and your ankle weights. But in the back of her mind, she just knew you're not a black kid.

It's probably not going to work out. But at least you were going to go to college and be motivated to go to college to play ball. So she was happy about that. Yeah, I think that's why. But then other times she saw you jerking off with the door open on VHS tapes to her Suzanne Summer workout tapes. Yeah, yeah. So there was problems. There was a yin and a yang in your household.

So that's why still to this day, if you move my mother's fruits and vegetables in any direction, you will find a few brews. My mom just always has the refrigerator. There's always a couple of brews. You'll always find two things in my mom's house. Couple of brews. You'll always find two things in my mom's house. You'll always find a few unopened brews, and you'll always find a few open brews and a few open bottles of Sutter Home White Zit Videl outside by the recycling bin. It's just what it is. That's just what it is.

So my mom does take down, make no mistake, my mom does take down a brew or two every night because she just has to. I love that the vegetables in the refrigerator are basically like that secret library door on the wall. Yeah. You just got to push that button and that wall goes back. That's what the vegetables are. Move the vegetables to the side and you will see a couple blue moons. Well, she knew that when I was a kid,

I didn't like fruits and vegetables. I wouldn't eat them. I was a sweet-sout kid. She said, where can I hide the brews? Where's Chrissy? Never going to look. The fruits and vegetables section. So that's where the brews have always been my whole life. And she still to

this day doesn't know that I know. Yeah. I still can't have a brew around my mom. She would say, no, you know, like I, she has guilt about having the brews a little bit. Well, it's still one of those things. Like if I had a brew around my mom, like even if we were at Holland, I just wanted to have a beer. She would say, she would ask me if I had a problem. She'd go, why are you drinking? I thought you didn't drink. So I can't even – even though I'm 34 years old, I can't have a brewer around my mother. Is it a sin to drink?

It's not a sin to drink. It's not a sin to drink. Not a sin to drink. I mean we drink alcohol every Sunday. It's the blood of Christ. I like how the Catholics made an exception for that one. Yeah. Irish kids made an exception for that one.

Yeah. Because technically it's a sin, right? You're not supposed to denigrate your body and all that stuff. Yeah. Irish kids made an exception for that one. Yeah. Because technically it's a sin, right? You're not supposed to denigrate your body and all that stuff. Yeah, I mean, but you know- If masturbation is a sin, you tell me having a few bros is not a sin? Yeah, it's- That's stupid. It's stupid.

That is fucking stupid. But eating meat on Fridays during Lent is a big sin. That's a big sin. Yeah, you can't do that. You have to eat fish only. So if you become an alcoholic and don't work, that's not a sin. But if I eat meat on Fridays? Go to hell.

At least purgatory. That's fucking stupid. Yeah. That's what it is. Because if you keep calling Catholicism stupid, make no mistake, Jim Gaffigan will walk in here and punch you in the face. Because he is the fucking Catholic king of comedy. And he has been beating the shit out of comics lately. He does not play around.

Jim Gaffigan, I'm fucking excited. I'm doing my show Stupid Questions, which airs on Comedy Central's Friday nights. Jim Gaffigan will be my guest on the next episode. Yeah. And you better make sure if he wants to run six minutes, you let him run six minutes. And cuz, even though we're filming at 10 a.m., make no mistake, caterers, food and beverage have been notified that there better be a few brews on set because Jimmy Boy does like to have a few brews because he's a Catholic kid. And make no mistake, when I told my mom Jim Gaffigan was coming, my mom will be coming

to the shoot because she's a big Gaffigan fan because he's a Catholic kid. She loves Jim Gaffigan. That's her favorite comic because Kathleen Madigan and Jim Gaffigan. Yo, this is how big Jim Gaffigan is. He performed for the Pope. Did you know that? Oh, yeah. We is. He performed for the Pope. Yeah. Did you know that? Oh yeah, we knew that.

Can you confirm that? Yeah. You know who performs for the Pope? Who? Jesus. Jesus. Jesus and Gaffigan.

Yeah. Right? That's it. You know? And whatever middle school play they put on for him. He is by far

the most famous Catholic comedian. Catholicism, which is the biggest religion in the world, if they have one comedian, it is Jim Gaffigan. That is the truth to the situation. Yeah.

I'm trying to think of another one, and I can't. You can't. No. You can't. Everybody else is Jewish or Middle Eastern. Or if they're Catholic, they're not good Catholics. They're not good Catholics. Jim Gaffigan, he goes to church, right?

Yeah, like Sebastian Maniscalco, I'm sure, is Catholic because he's an Italian kid, but I don't know that he doesn't talk about it. He's not going to church all the time. Yeah. Italian Catholics don't fascinate me as much as Irish Catholics because Italians have the Mediterranean thing in them where they got to express themselves. Here's the deal. Greeks and Italian kids, we don't do anything unless we're passionate about it.

It's what it is. We're lazy kids who come from good weather, and unless we're passionate about it, we don't do it. Basically, every job we do is a hobby. That's what it is. We're lazy kids who come from good weather, and unless we're passionate about it, we don't do it. Basically, every job we do is a hobby. That's what it is. We have to have a love for it. Now, German-Irish kids, Northern Scottish, Scandinavian, you kids up there, you just want to be uncomfortable. You want to hurt yourself because deep down you were inculcated at an early age that jesus suffered and sacrificed for you so you need to sacrifice and suffer for others because what i really want to do is i've

been thinking about this a lot let's me you and brit cut ourselves bring delilah no let's fucking i want to go to iceland it's a four-hour trip to iceland let's go see the northern lights and then as a ceremonial thing for your wedding, I want to throw you into an active volcano. Yeah. And then I just want to watch down because my Icelandic roots just want to watch you burn. You don't have any Icelandic roots, but reality is 100% your oyster to do whatever you want with. You just made yourself an Icelandic kid for three seconds. Because I may just take a trip to Iceland.

You may, right? Do you want to come? Cuz, you look like your body's in shape today. Really? Yeah. Cuz, make no mistake, it is not in shape. I know, but you know what's funny? You put a shirt on, and it just looks like it's in shape.

Well, cuz, I have not been eating past 8 o'clock for about two weeks, and maybe I have lost a couple of pounds. You know, because first of all, I want to introduce you. Your diet is your diets are binges. They're binge diets. So when you do the new one, you did keto for a second. Yeah. You want to know how keto ends?

With Peet's. Yeah. Peet's and 14 black and whites. You just cave in. Now you're not eating. You know how it's going to end? Ravioli, Peet's peats midnight three days in a row that's what it is yeah and then you're gonna run you're the type of person who's gonna blow it is blow out his knees when he's 60 running to hurt yourself well here's here's what i've here's what i realized is because

i think i definitely have lost five pounds so i've been starting to feel good but then all of a sudden what happens i lose five pounds now i have to pee all the time i I think I have an STD. So it's never just perfect. You know what I mean? Just like what's going to happen is I'm probably going to lose 25 pounds, find out that I have no STDs, and just try to go have sex with my baby mom again. I'm just going to constantly be in a constant state of hurting and just wanting to throw the ball into the fire pit. It's just how I live my life.

Now, do you think some of that has to do with during your formative years getting inculcated? Yeah. Yeah. Or yeah, that could be a part of it, but probably not. And unfortunately, that's why I didn't go to your wedding, if you're listening. Do you think... I mean, you don't leave anything on the court, cuz. Cuz when the buzzer sounds and you walk off, every single party is going to be on that floor.

Nobody can say you don't live 100 miles an hour. Cuz you're a race car. Yeah, I'm a race car. That's why I got a race car bed. Cuz you're a fucking race car. Cuz that's what it is. Yeah. The fans want to tune in.

They want to see implosion. And make no mistake, they get implosion from this side of the chair. Cuz, make no mistake, Mike is over here. We can't call you Mike the Mush anymore. What's your last name? Mike Suarez. Mike Suarez is here. And we are 15 minutes into the podcast, and he has not fallen asleep, and that's a positive thing.

I feel like he's just here to fall asleep and make us feel bad about it. Mike Suarez, the last time he was on the podcast, fell asleep 13 minutes into the podcast and woke up about 80 minutes into the podcast. He was on our podcast, right? Mike Suarez was on our podcast, yeah. You were on one, early one, right? Mike was on an early one, yeah. So we have been doing this for quite a while. Of course, Zach Jihadi with a body is here.

He looks jacked again today. Yeah, to be honest with you, Mike Suarez almost looks like Zach Isis if he blew out a little bit. Let's be honest. They kind of look exactly alike. Look at their faces. It's the same face. That's what it is. Yeah.

Well, Mike Suarez, how old are you? 40. Mike Suarez is 40. Zach Jihadi with a body is 23. Could be your son. So this is just what Zach Jihadi with a body will look like by the time he's 40. And Mike Suarez will 40. Zach Jihadi would have bought his 23. Could be your son. So this is just what Zach Jihadi would have bought him will look like by the time he's 40. And Mike Suarez will unfortunately be dead. Yeah.

I mean, it's almost like if you go to Mike Suarez's family home and you were in the living room and you saw some old pictures that his mom had up, it might be ISIS. Mike Suarez, did you used to be a jacked kid? Were you jacked at one point? I wasn't jacked, but I was cute. You were cute. Well, no, but I was cute. You were cute. Well, no, you're still cute. You're cute in a cuddly kind of way. 100%.

No, I'm serious. Are you married? Until recently. Oh, you recently got divorced? That's what it is. I think, remember, we talked about that. His wife, yeah, he was coming up for a comic book convention or something. No, to see a movie.

I fell asleep because saw i got up too early oh yeah that's what that's what it was yeah yeah he fell you look like you've lost a few lbs too mike a little bit yeah all right good for you yeah what's your what's your uh poison what's your favorite food what's causing this is what i'm asking same with me pizza me too pizza it's just what it is make no mistake mike i'm a fat fucking kid too. Look. It's happening. So I am over 200 pounds at this point. I'm officially a fat fucking kid.

Your sweatshirt looks like a paper towel. Make no mistake. I just want you to... It's just what it is. It looks like a paper towel. But it looks like a high quality paper towel. Yeah, you just look like a bounty. Cuz your shirt makes you look like a cholo from the West Coast. I look jacked, though.

Cuz, yeah, you look like a proud boy. You look like you're going to a proud boy wedding. Cuz, you look like you're alt-right. Yeah, well, cuz, guess what? Tomorrow, I'm fucking just going to say it live on the pod. All the celebrities are telling me what to do and what not to do with voting. Tomorrow's Tuesday, November 6th. I'm going Republican.

Build the wall. I'm kidding. Just fucking make sure you go. Well, this is going to come out. We should have said last week. I hope you voted. If you listen to this podcast, I hope you voted for whoever you felt was going to make the best choice for the country that we live in. Obviously, I was just kidding with what I said.

How fucking wild of a world do we live in? All the shit that I've said on this podcast that's all been joking, what I just said, even though it was just clearly a joke, that's what I could get

in the most trouble for. Not anymore. No? Not anymore. You don't feel it tipping? You don't feel like tipping back to just people understanding that we're being facetious?

You don't feel that? Obviously, just kidding, yeah. It's just kind of, and it's not even like people are shifting. It's like, I think it's just the cycles and stuff. People are just sick of it. So if you see another person just standing up there giving a speech, you're just like, I've seen this

already now. Yeah, there's nothing new you're bringing to the table, you know? Now Mikey Suarez, yeah. Guess, right on Patreon that was the fart at 19 minutes and 22 seconds into the podcast, right on Patreon. Was that Giannis or was that Chris?

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Every time we blow a fart, you're going to have to see who that was. Yeah, we're going to guess it. You time code it and you post it on our Instagram. Yeah, and just put Y or P, Y or C. Suarez, you're from Texas, right? Yeah.

Are you a Republican kid? No. No. So you go all the way. Are you cucked out, though, or are you just a Democrat? I'm more liberal, yeah. But you're not cucked out. No, not yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Giannis is cucked out.

Here's the deal, though. Latin kids, especially in America, a lot of them lie about what they're voting. I believe that. Because otherwise the numbers don't make sense. A lot of Latin Americans go red. Well, I'll tell you this. My baby mama's father, rest in peace, who was a Puerto Rican, he voted for Donald Trump. And he passed away a couple of months into his presidency, but he voted for Donald Trump.

And he was big. I mean, he loved Donald Trump. And he was, make no mistake, he was a Puerto Rican from Sunset Park. He was like, he was, you know, last of the Mohicans. He was last of the mohicans he was last of the puerto ricans he was in sunset park and he was a big big big trump guy and and he was just for the people who don't live in new york being puerto rican from sunset park is like it's you can't get more puerto rican than being from sunset it's like just being from puerto rico like whatever country you it's like just being from Puerto Rico

like whatever country you're from just imagine if you're living in mainland Greece that's what being a Puerto Rican from Sunset Park is it's like they don't when you're on 4th Avenue in Brooklyn and you I think it starts on 40th Street from 40th Street and 4th Avenue to 68th Street

and 4th Avenue there is no Inglis okay it's just not a thing you are in Puerto Rico to 68th Street and 4th Avenue, there is no Inglis. Okay? It's just not a thing. You are in Puerto Rico. You are going to see the Puerto Rican flag more than 16 times from 40th to 60th Street. It's just what it is. Even if it's not hanging out a window or a flag on a car, it will be in a woman's contacts lens or fingernails.

It's what it is. Everybody's wearing sandals and everybody's, and make no mistake, there will be children 12 months a year running around playing in the fire hydrant water. It's just what it is. I will get recognized three times like, yo, that's it. You that's it. That will

happen from 40th to 60th Street. It's a beautiful neighbor. They got good food, great, beautiful culture, but. And they're baby's mamas. And baby's mamas, I gotta feel. Yeah, that's my hunting grounds. Make no mistake, Sunset Park is my hunting grounds, okay? It's just what it is.

Who is that? 21-53, time code that. Who was that? Giannis or Chris, whose ass smelt it? They're gonna be able to tell because yours are wet. Yeah. Yours always sound like they're happening in a well. And I got a long asshole. They have an echo to them.

Yeah. Yeah, mine are trapped in my ass. I may have a wart in my ass. That's what I was about to say. I think it's just there's warts in there, so the sound comes out weirder. Because make no mistake, a girl who's like an old friend of mine sent me a message. She's like, every podcast I listen to, within the first five minutes, you say you have an STD or a ward on your dick. She was like, so is

that true or not? Somebody's mom is calling them. Whose phone is that? Can we talk to your mom on the pod? No, he can't do that. His mom's, his mom She might give me some secret plans. His mom can't talk on the, his mom is a member submitted to Islam. Oh, your

mom's submitted to Islam. I, your mom submitted to Islam. I mean, she will get punished. But she's Puerto Rican though, right? Yeah, and Mexican. And Mexican, okay. But his pops took care of that in a second. Yeah. So I think how we started all this is I think Giannis is right. I think a lot of Latinos do say one thing in public,

but then vote another in private. I think a lot of people do that. Yeah. Especially Latins because Latins are expected to vote Democratic, and I think there's that social pressure to vote Democratic. Well, because my baby mama's father, what his whole thing was,

is like, I am a U.S. citizen. Puerto Rico, it's like I was born a natural U.S. citizen. He's like, everything Donald Trump says, I just, I identify with, and I'm a U.S. citizen. He's like I know I'm Latino and he says he's racist against Latinos. He's like I don't see it and I voted for him because I'm a U.S. citizen.

I think he gives our country the best chance and he also said that – and I think this is a big thing. I think this is really true for the whole 2016 elections. A lot of guys, he was one of them. He outright said it. He was like, I just don't think a woman can do this job. So sexism is as big of a problem as racism in our country, I believe. Or it's neck and neck. It's both big issues.

I know in Miami, Cubans are as Republican as you can get. Yeah, a lot of them are Jews. Yeah, and a lot of the Cubans are as Republican as you can get. Yeah, a lot of them are Jews. Yeah, and a lot of the Cubans are just Republican. If you were going to do a West Side Story in Miami, it wouldn't be between two races. It would be a Cuban bringing home a Democrat. That's what it is. That's what would be the problem. That would be the problem.

That would be the Capulets and the other guys. And by the way, I got cut off before when I wanted to say. You're a cute fucking kid. Your jawline's looking strong. You got to pep to your step because today you made a little bit of money. Yeah, but again, because I'm a Catholic kid, I did make a little bit of money. But unfortunately, I do have chlamydia. Waste of shame.

I was saying when I – Because you've stuck in your dick in a lot of miscellaneous holes. That's what it is. I mean – I don't think – but the doctor said I do not have an STD. Yeah, but. But I still believe I do. Isn't it a little more thrilling for you knowing not what's going to happen?

You don't like a safe mouth. You want a mouth that's been places. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, you want to get a little tingle the first time you pee. Yeah. Afterwards, yeah.

But you can't get an STD from a BJ. Because, yes, you can. But it's highly unlikely. I love the Irish. You have a PhD in physical therapy. You know the answer to that question is you certainly can get an STD from your mouth. But that's what you call Catholic cognitive dissonance. And you're saying if I just pray it away and do 15 Hail Myries.

Were you there, my Lord, when they nailed him to the cross? To the tree. Cuz, make no mistake, and I want to Patreon people too, I'm starting to count a meter now, and there's going to be a little clicker, and if it gets to a certain number, unfortunately my brain is going to identify you as Chinese in 95 degree heat, and I will attack. you as Chinese in 95 degree heat and I will attack. If you say cognitive dissonance or pejorative anymore on this podcast, my brain will unfortunately just see you as a Chinese kid and the temperature will go to 95 and you will be in my way and I will hit you.

Or you will gaffigan me. I will gaffigan you. Cuz, also you forgot about the word grok. Grok? Grok gets you pretty pissed off too when I say grok. You never said grok. I've said grok a few times on this podcast. I've never heard you say grok.

Because you're not present and you don't have feelings. So you don't remember me saying it. Just like the time on this podcast for the hardcore fans who are really into us will remember when we said we talked about armenius for a full episode and you said you had no idea who we were talking about yeah that's as if that's almost as sociopathic as if we went to a dinner party and you sat for an hour with somebody who i introduced you to and they walked in and you introduced yourself again like you never met them. You're so stout. Bad, true blue soaps. TBS.

TBS Network. It's a good network. Unfortunately, they don't buy any of my shit. Yeah, because, listen, it's one of those things where my anxiety now, I have to be honest with you, I do my Anxiety Tuesday things on Instagram, which thank you some of the Hyena fans who have been posting it, reposting them. I really appreciate it. I do it, but it almost – not that it's forced now, but now I'm doing it for like just for fun and for the comedy of it because I don't really suffer from the anxiety as much as I did.

And now I almost feel like all this anxiety that I had and would put out to the world is a little, not immature, but it's a little narcissistic and it feels uncomfortable talking about my anxiety because it's under control for the most part. Well, yeah, you're evolving. Evolving, yeah. There's one thing that won't change though. You are a cute kid. You got a good jawline and a weird tit.

It's what it is. You got deformed feet. Yep. And a big butt. But a big clean butt with no fumes. Yeah. Because I got a fumeless butt.

You have a big butt but no fumes. That is correct. Yes. And you do have a hyperactive sex drive. And that's just what it is. It's what it is.

I have a hyperactive sex drive and an overactive bladder and it's what it is. have a hyperactive sex drive And an overactive bladder And it's what it is Because when they Look at the brain imaging Of people without feelings They tend to find a correlation Between a lack of empathy

And hyperactive sex drive Okay And risk taking behavior Right Those are two major categories Yeah That you fulfill Yeah

So You're just a kid with probably A smaller amygdala that needs to beat his meat on a consistent basis and stick your dick into dirty holes. It's what it is. It's kind of what it is. And you need to get back into a little booth and talk to a priest and do Hail Marys. So I am just someone who is mostly hyena. Pretty much.

It's just what it is. Because, like, here's the thing. I don't know if we've talked about this on the podcast. I don't remember. I mean, I can't believe we've been doing this probably almost a year because Mike was on this. Well, it started in February. Yeah.

So here's the deal. Here's the deal. I don't remember if we said this, but the real reason, like, I've been fascinated with hyenas for a while. I love nature. It's one of the things I'm interested in. You guys know I'm a dog lover. But when me and Chrissy started hanging out tough and he moved to Bay Ridge, there was this time when we were playing this game where we were trying to match people up to animals.

Right. You know? Because our boy, James Madden, Mad Dog, dear friend. Who just moved to Bay Ridge. Just moved to Bay Ridge. The third Bay Ridge boy is now James Mad Dog Mattern. Give it up for him. That's right, Bubbas.

If you give him his number, he will call you and worry about something. 100%. Yeah. If you literally, if you need someone to bounce ideas off or if you just feel like you're alone and you have no one to talk to him, just give James Mad Dog Mattern your number and he will text you constantly about where he needs to put the pictures up on his walls. He'll text you about what curtain rods he should buy. He will text you and ask you how to put up a curtain rod. He's a 40-year-old man. Doesn't matter if he's ever met you in your life.

You could be living in another country. If you're someone who's alone and you have no one to talk to, we will give james mad dog mannard's number and make no mistake he will text you his bank account info at some point we may just give you one of our friends number just because we're fucking hyenas and that is my point it's what it is because listen the truth of the matter is it's one day for all patreon members go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys and join the matriarchy because this will happen it may happen soon because i'm in a good positive mood i will and i will not tell anyone i'm going to do this i will just upload a picture of my meat onto the patreon i'm just going to do it and i don't care what happens i don't care if i go to jail i don't care if they shut down the patreon i just

can't control my urge to be a hyena much longer so if you want to see my fucking piece i will put it out momentarily on the patreon go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys and here is something that is not a lie that i will piggyback off of what chrissy just said and let you know i do have a picture of his pseudo tit that you're probably more insecure about than your piece. You will show your piece to anyone. Two things I'm insecure about are my pseudo tit and my butt. That's why I always wear long coats and big shirts. Yeah.

So I do have a picture of his pseudo tit. And you have it in full force. Full force. Yeah. You sent it to me because you were just having a moment where you just wanted to open up and let somebody see it. If we get 1,000 patrons. That's what I'm saying. 1,000. Is that a good number? 500. because you were just having a moment where you just wanted to open up and let somebody see it? If we get 1,000 patrons. That's what I'm saying. How about 1,000?

Is that a good number? 1,500. It's your pseudo-tip. It's my pseudo-tip. For my peace. For my peace. Peace will do two more Patreons and put the peace up.

Yeah. You can put your peace up whenever you want. Yeah. So, I mean, just keep joining the Patreon page and at some point Chris's peace will go up. But this is a true promise. If we make it to 1,000 patrons on Patreon, I will release the photo of Chris's pseudo-tit. And his tit is weird.

He has a weird tit. It's what it is. He has a deformed, weird tit. And the picture that he took emphasizes how strange the tit looks. It's not a flattering photo. took emphasizes how strange the tit looks it's not a flattering photo it's it's one of i'm telling you i'm just the kind of kid who i'm a letdown for women i think women think that i'm going to be ripped i think they think that i'm going to be a guy's guy i think they think i'm going to be very over sexualized in the bedroom with them and none of those things are true i think they're gonna i'm

going to give them a jolt of energy and the bottom line line is the truth is I don't know how to fix anything. I have a horrible body. You're not really present either. I'm not present during sex. I can't go down on girls because I do get strep throat, unfortunately. So I'm not going to do it. And then I don't want to really hang out. I don't want you to wear anything sexy for me other than your pajamas because I just want to go to sleep.

I want to have sex with you and not be present for it and then just go to bed. But you – But I want to treat you like a princess. Like a queen. For how long? Well, I just – no, you want to soil the princess. Yeah. Yeah, you want to soil the princess.

No, I'm saying I want to be sexually active with you. I want to be – I want to have sex with you and make you feel good like you had a good time. But just know there's a disconnect in my head. I don't care if you come or not. And you can sleep over and stay over. I'll never ask you to leave. I'll never make you feel uncomfortable because I just want you to feel okay and enjoy the experience. But I just don't care if you're having pleasure.

And I'm not really getting pleasure out of it either. I'm just going to come and then I go to sleep. But there's one thing you will guarantee. what you will you will feel dominated yeah that will happen there's two you're a woman who likes to feel like things things are just happening yeah and go with that flow yeah that will happen here's the two things you can you do take control of the situation here's two things that i can tell you with 100 certainty will happen if you and I have sex. You will feel sexually dominated if you prefer it and you like it. If you like that, then that will happen 100%.

And the second thing that will happen, if it is before midnight on a weekday, we will order ravioli vodka pizza from Bay Ridge Pizzeria. And we will enjoy it standing up at my new kitchen counter. And you will also probably watch a documentary with them afterwards. And I will also watch a documentary with you or a Hitler video. Now, you found just through your experience with women, I think women, yeah, a lot of women do prefer just for a guy to take control and to be submissive. That's kind of like in their DNA, right?

Right. I feel, look, I don't know. I'm obviously not a psychologist. I don't know the ins and outs of a woman's brain but i do feel the women that i've interacted with they want to be dominated interacted as uh that is yeah i mean has there been a more politically correct moment on our podcast yeah he just called it interacted yeah that is a glorious moment i just want to take a second to appreciate his his choice of words right there. The women he's interacted with.

Yeah. You mean the women you've treated like a construction boot. And dumped sheetrock over. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. No, we're joking.

We're joking. No, the women that i've interacted with i felt like sexually they yeah they prefer not to be dominated everything within their own consent and what they like but they want to feel like a woman they and me to feel like a man like they don't want they want me to be in control they want me to say what's going on they want me to be in charge i feel like they they they like that because i think deep deep deep down you know even the most staunch feminists just want they don't want their husbands to be vegans i don't think they want that right you know yeah yeah i just sometimes it's just hard to take how funny you are i just try to picture

because you're let's just call you green light go chrissy yeah you're green light go chrissy yeah if you have a puss i'm in yeah here's the deal yeah you know when you Chrissy. Yeah. You're green light go Chrissy. Yeah. If you have a puss, I'm in. Yeah. Here's the deal. Yeah. You know when you're at a red light and it turns green and the first card doesn't move because he's texting? Yes.

That's not Chrissy. No. Chrissy's looking at the light, waiting for it to turn green. Yeah. So he can throw you up against the wall and stuff his head in your pants. Yeah. And it's what it is. It's just what it is.

Yeah. It's what it is. Yeah. And women love that because I feel like women, I think they've done studies on this and generally I think at the deepest level women want to be desired and you desire, deeply

you don't have hang ups or insecurities I don't have hang ups and if I flirt with a woman and she doesn't like it then it's no problem I don't get mad no problem, I'm like whatever you want to do I'm just happy with i don't care i think what you do is almost uh it's almost a public service man yeah you know yeah there's a lot of women out there that they said they hadn't had sex in years but i'm you know yeah i'm in there and you just you

the way you look at a woman not a lot of guys can look at with that hunger yeah because you have a you have a smaller amygdala yeah so you just yeah just, if you're not going to be hooking up, you're going to be, your penis is almost scared for it not to happen. Yeah. Because it comes home and it knows it's bad things are going to happen to the penis. Yeah. The penis just, yeah. Has it ever gone numb?

Do you ever, has it just swallowed up by the head? Swallowed up a little bit? Yeah. Yeah. You swallowed it up a little bit. I think it's a relief. Have you ever come wet and it hurt a little bit because there's nothing coming out and your balls, it stings a little bit? It stings a little bit.

I think it's a relief for my penis when he sees my pants being unbuttoned, when he sees it's just my hand. I think it's a little bit of relief. I think he feels like, oh shit, thank God it's just a hand because he's been in a lot of wars. He's been in a lot of unkempt puts. Your dick is like a sergeant from Vietnam. Yeah. He just goes in there with a machete through the bush, just slashing vegetation. Make no mistake.

If Mike Suarez had a puss, I'd bang him out on that couch. Because if your piece could talk, it would say, how you doing? I've done two tours in Nam. My name Chrissy D. Dick. Yeah. I'm from South Carolina, and I got 19 confirmed kills. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I'm just a kid who I like.

I have a void and I'm very insecure and don't love myself. And I just see I can find the women that they just want to be sought after and it's just a nice match because I don't care. All they want is to have sex and for them and for them to be um kind of validated they want their their beauty validated and i do that for them with no connection i think it's a part of it is the head my head part of it is a sexy sexy head masculine head yeah head with two to three percent neanderthal dna it's what it is yeah so they don't even focus on the pseudo tip no just yeah it's secondary by the time they get to my tit, they're like, I'm already in with his head.

The time they get to your tit, they got to peel back four layers of Islanders merchandise. Guess who? 38, 35. Time called out. Right on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Whose asshole did that come out of? Yanni P or Chrissy Dees?

You know, my girlfriend, like I told you, loves the podcast, my fiancee, but she has begged me three times. She said it again. She goes, look, you guys are really great and it's a really funny podcast, but can you please stop farting into the microphones? Yeah. But see- And you know what I said again?

Yeah. 100% no. Yeah. Just no. We're not going to do it. just no we're not gonna do it yeah it's i'm not gonna stop yeah yeah because i get messages from from from old girls you know that i used to hook up with or hang out with that say they love the farting into the oh they do love yeah let me see go ahead keep talking i want to find some of the messages so people have been like

so people have told me that you know um us farting into the mics is what gets them through their day i mean it's crazy yeah You know, us farting into the mics is what gets them through their day. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah. Thank you for writing on our community page on Patreon, by the way. Look, if you're not a member of our Patreon, you are not living. It's become a true blue matriarchy, a community. The community board is hilarious. It's your chance to write something hilarious, to talk to us.

We read every single comment, and we respond to every single comment. This one from Evan Scott. The headline is King Cuck. He says, make no mistake, not only am I from Long Beach, California. Oh, I thought you were going to say Long Island. Oh, shit. So you're like, make no mistake, not only am I from Long Beach, California. Oh, I thought you were going to say Long Island. So you're like, make no mistake, not only am I from Long Beach, California, third

place city in the California cuck-offs four years in a row, I actually take off both my tires when I tie my bike up. Yeah! And he ended it with a big yeah! Yo, Evan Scott, you're a true blue

pea. And then we got Jason Morin. He says, how many Asians do we need to sacrifice to get the Andrew Schultz episode you had mentioned so long ago? Come on, cuz. Listen, you're right, Jason. Right now we're in the winter months, so the temperature has dropped below 82. So we may have to wait till spring or summer come along for more Asians to have to be sacrificed to steal Pipercy in order for us to get Asian shows. What's he talking about? Did we say we're going to get Schultz on here?

Well, we said we're going to get Schultz on. Yeah, we'll have Schultz on. We'll have Schultz on. Yeah, Jason, we will. And thank you for your service. Thank you for being a part of a matriarchy. We love Andrew schultz yeah keep it tight keep those assholes tight yeah and then uh and chat if you if you don't know

and you're uh you you go listen to this podcast if you're a sports fan flagrant too and of course brilliant idiots the podcast they're both very popular uh brilliant Idiots with Andrew Schultz and Charlamagne. The guard. The guard. And then we got Denton Gooden says work with two exclamation points. Work. He's a gay cat. Yes.

Actually, he's straight because if he was gay, wouldn't it be W-E-R-K? Work. Work. Work. Work. So he says, I just had the podcast blasting on my little speaker at work and they said some wild wild shit a co-worker looked at me strange and make no mistake i told her that you guys were some funny gay kids who happen to have a podcast and her strange look turned into a smile

it's safe to say i saved my job and need to get some headphones after work. Yeah. Because you are a true blue hyena that you almost sacrificed your livelihood to listen to me and Chrissy fart into a microphone. Yeah. Produced by Jihadi with a body. Yeah. So Denton,

we're glad you saved your job, but we're also glad that you probably got us another listener because you told your coworker about us. That's what it's going to take, guys. Spread the word to each and everyone you know. Be proactive. That's what it takes. Don't just hear what I'm saying and then go, you know, yeah, I bet you other people do that.

You yourself, you are our marketing department. Tell one or two friends every week. Everyone you meet, recommend it. And here's the best part about the community board. Yesterday at 2.29, the great Rafael DeLuca heard our call on one of our episodes. I think it was me that said I wanted to see his diploma. And look what he did. Sent his Harvard diploma. Show the camera.

He sent his diploma. So now we he did. Sent his Harvard diploma. Show the camera. He sent his diploma. So now we can confirm that Rafael DeLuca is the biggest disappointment in Harvard University history. I'm going to put it up in post too so everyone can see. You can see it, yeah. So right there you were staring at the diploma of the biggest slacker who ever went to Harvard.

Make no mistake, his full-time job is to make mixes for this podcast. Upon request. Yeah. And we also had a lot, a lot, a lot of members, new members of the Matriarch today. And we're just going to read them a little bit early into the podcast and we'll do a little bit more content. But I just want to read some of the new members. And like always, we are going to guess your ethnicity.

Giannis will guess your ethnicity as we read the names. But we just want to say, if you want to join the matriarchy, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and join up. So first leading off, Allison Winterode. Allison Winterode? Winterode. That's the honka-donk. Honka-donk.

We got to get some like honka-donk music music. Maybe like a Pearl Jam riff or John Mayer. Yeah. Now, next up, this kid, he's been a part of the matriarchy, but he must have upgraded. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Austin underscore Ireland underscore your mom's onion. Austin Ireland, he's a super fan. Austin's a super fan who, make no mistake Sends to my Snapchat

Pictures of him With women's feet In his mouth Yeah Is that that kid Who took the picture With the two girls Yeah

Make no mistake Austin Ireland He himself is a piece And he takes down A lot of pieces And he's a fucking hyena That kid He's a hyena

That's dragging down kills Now next Next we got one This is hard His profile picture Is a white wrestler But it's just one name David He's a hyena that's dragging down kills. Now, next we got one. This is hard. His profile picture is a white wrestler, but it's just one name, David. So you know what one name means. Black kid.

Yeah, so we're going to say black kid. Next up, brown bear TV. Brown bear TV. Is he a gay kid? Is he a black kid? Is he a white kid? Wow, that's a tough one. Brown bear TV.

I'm going to go Owen Benjamin fan, right wing, going to probably shoot something up. Yeah. Next up, this is an easy one. Ronnie Hampton. Ronnie Hampton. Black kid. Black kid. Play at forward, please, for Iona State. Ronnie Hampton.

Iona State's not a school. All right. Jonathan Arria. Jonathan Arria? A-R-A-I-A. Que pasa, mi gente? Yeah. Wepa, wepa, wepa.

Yeah, this kid's an Irish kid. Tommy Corcoran. Tommy Corcoran has roots in the five points of New York City. Now, this girl, I think she's a piece. She sounds like Kristen Mantell. Kristen Mantell sounds like a piece. This next kid. Does she sound like a piece? She sounds like Kristen Mantell. Kristen Mantell sounds like a purse. Does she sound like a pace? She sounds like a pace.

This next kid's name, he just gives it away. Brian Rooney, parentheses, Wasp. That's his Patreon name. Make no mistake, he wears socks three times a year. It's what it is. Just moccasins, and it is what it is. Next up, we got Denton Gooden. Denton Gooden, he must have upgraded.

Yeah, he probably upgraded. I got a good memory because I'm present and I have feelings. So Denton Gooden, that's a black kid. That is a black kid. Hold on. Are you ready? I'm ready. I see you're ready.

Yeah. 4622. Guess that far. Next upmmy finger doodle tommy finger doodle i'm gonna go look here's the deal you want to know how i know that's a white kid we're talking about a honk a donk yeah because make no mistake if you had black friends growing up like me and chrissy did both you know the black kids do not do gay jokes. So that is a donk. That's a donk. Okay, next up.

White kids will take the joke so far as they will stick a dick in your face and shit in your fucking Yankee garbage can. Well, the next one, the next kid is definitely a white kid because it's just a picture of a penis and his patron name is penis. So that is a white kid yeah yeah okay and that's

my favorite one of the we got to do a patreon member name of the day let's start right there yeah what his name some other good ones but okay okay so we won't give it yet give it at the end so what's his name penis penis and his picture is a what a penis an uncircumcised penis. So he's in contention. Yeah. Yeah. Next up, we have Omer Omarajic. We got a muzzy. Yeah. La, la, la, la, la. Mahal al-Aidi. Omer Omarajic.

What is that, boys? Mahal al-Aidi. Assalamu alaikum. Mahal al-Aidi. That's it. That's who Omer is. Okay. Next up, we have Daniel Grabowski.

That's a Polack. That's a Polish kid from Greenpoint, Brooklyn. He could be a Ridgewood kid. Could be apoint, Brooklyn. He could be a Ridgewood kid. Could be a Ridgewood kid. This kid's a Ridgewood kid. Or he could be from Chicago. Charlie Hernandez. That's a mafia kid right there.

Is it really? Well, a lot of mafia guys, they'll have Spanish kids like do jobs. Charlie Hernandez sounds like a mafia underling, Spanish kid that works for the underlings of the mob. Or he's a minor league kid. Could be a prospect from PR. Now, next up, we have Sneed, the pseudolings of the mob. Or he's a minor league kid. Could be a prospect from PR. Yeah. Now next up, we have Sneed the Pseudo Negro. That's his name. It's a black kid

and he's spelled N-E-E-G-R-O-W. Sneed the Pseudo Negro. He's a black kid and he's in contention right now. It's between him and a penis. Well, his name is Marquise Sneed. I mean, that is Marquise 100% of the time is a black kid. A black kid.

And he calls himself the pseudo Negro. Because there's been like three French kids in history named Marquis. And since then, 100% black kids. What is Marquis de Lafayette? Probably Haitian, right? Roots in Haitian. Probably. Daniel Beamer.

Daniel Beamer. Beamer, I think is a white. He's a white kid who drives a Saab. So this woman, she looks like a piece. She must have upgraded Nicole Rosati. Because I like it when you say she's a piece with passion. She's a piece. This girl looks like a piece.

She's got a picture of herself, and she looks like a piece. What's her name? Nicole Rosati. Sounds like a future wife of mine. Yeah, that's a Staten Island princess right there That's a girl right there That she'll take care of my kids She'll make me sauce

She could be from Bay Ridge Bensonhurst Gravesend Staten Island Yeah she could definitely be from Ozone Park She's the kind of girl Nicole Rosati I would be willing to bet

$100 that you are in fact a teacher Make no mistake She's the type of girl Who has some relative Who definitely knows somebody high up in the NYPDFDNY and she also goes for Thanksgiving to Howard Beach. That's what it is.

I'll guarantee you this, Nicole Rizzotti, anytime she needs something fixed in her house, she doesn't have to hire out because someone in her family will fix it for her. That's who Nicole Rizzotti is. Next guy up, Ben Church. Ben Church? That's a wasp alert. That's a wasp kid

followed by another wasp who just must have upgraded, Edward Dale. Is that Bardo's relative, Ben Church? I think Ben Church and Edward Dale are Bardo's fucking pseudonames.

Those are two wasps, but how come Thomas Dale's an Italian kid, but he has the last name Dale? I never understood that. I don't know. Dale's a wasp kid. Dale's a wasp name.

Next up, she's a piece. She's got a picture of herself, Jen Gertz, and she sounds like a jib. Jen Gertz. And she sounds like a Jew. Jen Gertz. No, Gertz. Gertz, what is that? 100%.

A Jew. Go Rose! Way some shit. Jen Gertz is definitely a Jew. No, Jen Gertz is a Jew. She's beautiful. She's definitely had a bar mitzvah. She's definitely had that big sweet 16.

Big fan of the Jews. Next up is Tev G1. That is another black kid. That's a black kid. Here we got another Jew, Richard T. Kaufman. Jew. Jew now. By the way, when I say Jew, I don't mean it in a bad way.

I say Jew. See, like when people write J-E-W, that's got a little stank on it. I'm playful with it. I write J-O-O. Jew. It's like a child thing. You know, it's like a little Jew. Just like boo with a J.

Like I love Jews Yeah Okay Next up Bommie B Bommie B He's got a picture of him I can't see what it is

But he looks like he's in a suit Giving a handshake to someone Bommie B I don't know Bommie B Is that a South Asian Is that an Indian kid

Bommie He looks like he could be Indian I'm going Indian on Bommie Okay Yeah SM Hunley 84 SM Hunley 84. Hunley, 84. S.M. Hunley, 84.

S.M. Hunley, 84. Hunley. Hunley is an Irish kid. Hunley sounds Irish. Attila the Hunley. S. Yeah, I'm going to go Irish. You?

Okay. I'll say Irish. Yeah. Jay Hathaway. That is a wasp if a wasp ever was a wasp. You think that's a wasp? Because that's a fucking wasp. That's a wasp, right? Benny Fr ever was a wasp. You think that's a wasp? Because that's a fucking wasp. Wasp, right?

Benny Fratisi. Benny Fratisi? How you doing? Listen to me, Benny. All right, listen. I mean, I don't know where you get your best slices. I go to Campania. I don't know about you.

Yeah. I know you might like Leo's calamari. I'm a Campania kid. Listen, if anybody needs fucking concrete mix, call Benny Fratisi. Benny Fratisi? Wow. Oh, and here's one. I'll just say it for you.

Graham McFarland. Now we have Taylor Rowles. What is Taylor Rowles? She is a wasp. Well, it could not be. There's plenty of guys named Taylor. Well, that's the thing with Taylor. It's one of those postmodern names that's perfect for this society because it's genderless.

It's like Courtney. Yeah. Courtney could be a guy or a girl. Next, last but not least, Dylan Simpson. Another honk-a-donk. That's a honk.

Because make no mistake, we have one of the diversest fan bases and I fucking love it. We fucking do. Yeah. So tell us if we were right. Tell us if we were wrong and it

is what's is. Also for the shout outs, let's not forget Clayton Taylor who's a $25 patron. Ooh, Clayton Taylor. Wow, we gotta call these kids. How many 25s do we have? Do we have Clayton Taylor's number? Yeah, well how many 25s do we have? I just have his name. Yeah, we have to find out how many 25s we have

because we gotta call those kids. Do you want to do that next week? I just have his name. Yeah, we have to find out how many 25s we have because we got to call those kids. Do you want to do that next week? You want to start calling? Yeah. Yeah, we're going to start calling the 25s next week. Do we have a list of the 25s or no? I'll get one. Yeah, so next week we will find out who our 25s are.

Thank you for your service. And make no mistake, we're going to get you on the horn with Chrissy D. Yeah. Live on air. It's what it is. It's what's going to happen. Now, do you want to talk about anything historical? Because we-

We're 53 minutes into the podcast, and we've talked about nothing but my fucking dirty dick. And what else? That's it. Just a bunch of farts. We've made the conscious decision to do a back-to-back, two-week-in-a-row, 100% wild, no history episodes. Just pure hyena. We're going to come back in the Patreon with something historical.

And then we got a couple things that we're constantly talking about and researching right now. So it's going to be one of three things. And we're going to do that in the Patreon. So make sure you sign up for the Patreon to get our bonus episodes. And then we'll come back at you with something wild and historical. But, you know, once in a while, you know how we do, guys.

You've been with us now how long? What is it, eight months? Eight months. I think maybe nine. Are we nine? Maybe nine. Maybe nine months you've been with us. And, you know, sometimes we go history heavy.

Sometimes we go Serengeti hyena heavy. So it's just kind of what it is. I've actually been watching some hilarious hyena videos lately. Yeah. On Instagram. Some good ones. Can't wait. All right, boys.

Well, boys and girls, if you want to hear the history part of this episode, it's at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Thank you guys so much. And I also just want to let you guys know you can go to chrisdcomedy.com for all my tour dates coming up. I got a – well, by the time this comes out, I have – my next dates are – I'll be at the Chicago Improv and the Columbus Funny Bone November 29th and 30th with the great Sal Vulcano. ChristyComedy.com for all my dates. And you can go to my website, JanusPappas.net, my Twitter, Janus Pappas. I'm being in Atlantic City this weekend.

Yeah. Come by and say hello. Atlantic City Comedy Club. Is that what Emilio's joint's called? Yeah, cuz. I'm gonna be close to you in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. I'm gonna come sleep in your room. Are you doing Bananas? I'm doing Uncle Vinny's Comedy Club in Point Pleasant, New Jersey I'm gonna come sleep in your room Are you doing, uh, bananas?

I'm doing Uncle Vinny's Comedy Club Oh, Uncle Vinny's, I love Uncle Vinny's And then, uh, I'll be in D.C. in December And I can't remember where else Cuz you have early onset So, uh, check the dates Follow us on Twitter Most importantly, follow us on Instagram

At History Hyenas It's a very active account. DM us. Repost in your stories, pictures of the episodes. Spread the words to your friends. We're only getting bigger and better. And also on the Patreon, I will, once I get my blood work and urine analysis, I will read that to the Patreon members.

Word for word. Can we post it on the, can you post the results on the Patreon? We'll post the results on the Patreon. Of your, see if you have an STD? Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. No, they're going to be red. Well, because we should make them work for that one. We shouldn't just give that away.

Yeah. I mean, what's the goal? What do you mean? Maybe if we get to 350, will you show your STD results? Yeah. And then if we get to – what is it, 1,000? No, 500 your piece. Yes.

We get to 500 members. My dick. 1,000 my pseudo tit. 1,000 is the pseudo tit. The biggest one is pseudo tit. Well, I can also give you a picture. I have a picture. I don't think I've ever shown you that I found.

I have a picture of me from when I was taking chemistry when I was 23 years old in the chem lab. I took like a test tube and I put it in between my butt cheeks and took a pic. I can post that. You know what I have? I got a pimply butt. I have a Pol between my butt cheeks and took a pic. I can post that. You know what I have? I got a pimply butt. I have a Polaroid of me doing La Puss. Yeah. And it's the photo that I got suspended from school for.

Okay. Because I tried to bring it in to put it on my senior page in my yearbook. Okay. And I just got suspended. Yeah. So we'll post that on the Patreon. And I have that as well. But all this stuff is only available at patreon.com slash bayridgeboys.

Go join. Woo, woo, woo. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.