History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 47 - Christmas is WILD!!!

Episode Date: December 30, 2018

Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano explore the wild and a bit satanic history and origins of the Michael Jordan of holidays! WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. Merry days after Christmas. I am an American kid like Bruce Springsteen who loves to celebrate Christmas until New Year's. So it is still Christmas. And listen, I don't even really believe in any of that bullshit. But for this week, I'm a Jesus-loving fucking kid. Absolutely. That was Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. Yanni Humbug.

And I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy the Christian. And I fucking love Christmas because I'm a Catholic kid. And Jesus Yanni Humbug, and I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy the Christian, and I fucking love Christmas because I'm a Catholic kid, and Jesus is amongst all of us, and every single day, I just fucking wake up, and I thank the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

for giving me Christmas and the fucking Easter bunny and just Puerto Rican girls with fat asses. Thank you, Jesus. And toys made in China and make namaste. For this week,

we are not acknowledging Zach Isis' religion, existence, or visage. I don't see a face. I just see a blank heathen where facial features are supposed to be because make no mistake, the holy war is coming and me and Chrissy are going to ride on horses and cut off Islam's head.

I'm on a mission to crush Kwanzaa. Yeah. Wei Shanshan, I'm kidding. I love Kwanzaa. I like what Islam's head. I'm on a mission to crush Kwanzaa. Yeah. I'm kidding. I love Kwanzaa. I like what it's about. But let's just be honest. Christmas is the Michael Jordan of holidays. Number one.

If you're not Christian, you just weren't chosen. I'm sorry. It's what it is. It is the absolute Italian food of holidays. Yeah. The Michael Jordan of holidays. Who's the flyest piece of all time? Fucking Santa. Italian food of holidays. The Michael Jordan of holidays. Who's the flyest piece of all time?

Fucking Santa. Santa. Yeah. It's the Santa of holidays. Yeah. That's the hottest piece that's ever walked the face of the earth. Santa's a fucking piece. He's got a sweet yule log in his shorts He's got a nice butt And he's got a nice gray beard

And most importantly Santa's way I was gonna say It's the Jennifer Lopez of holidays Yeah and I just said Santa Cause you don't gotta say your I'm always just half paying attention. It's what it is. Yeah.

And reality is just half of a existing thing for you. Yeah, you have on a fucking professor sweater right now and you have full tits and it's what it is. Cause you got Christmas tits. That's what happens. Everybody gains a few pounds. Oh, and by the way, thank you for the member.

Thank you for the person in the hyenas who sent us. It's Santa Claus. Face is on the nipple. Yeah, we got a message of a hyena fan who said, Mary fumes and she sent us a private photo of her nipple. Of her titties. Of her titties with Santa on the nipples and make no mistake, I'm the one who opened it and Giannis did not respond because he's getting married.

Yeah, that's exactly right. So I saw it and then I fucking showed Giannis and he got down on his knees and he asked his Turkish gods for forgiveness for what he saw and make no mistake, I cranked my monkey to it. Talking of Turkish gods, we are going to talk about the origin and history of fucking Christmas. Yeah. And make no mistake, St. Nicholas, who ends up becoming Santa Claus somehow, was a Turkish fucking kid. And let's just say what it is.

Let's just be fucking crystal clear about something. We're two gay kids. We're two gay kids we're two gay kids obviously but i know everyone has to say happy holidays instead of merry christmas because the world we live in and listen i support i support every holiday and i know except whatever the chinese are doing except yeah i just i do not support chinese new year i don't care it's fucking just american new year's the only New Year that matters. No, but I support every holiday and I support, you know, traditions. I get that a lot of different people have,

you know, different cultures, different religions, different traditions, whatever. But Christmas, let's just be clear, okay? Hanukkah and Kwanzaa have fumes. Christmas has no fumes. No fumes. I don't even believe Kwanzaa's a thing. That's just don't even believe Kwanzaa is a thing.

That's just something. Nobody celebrates Kwanzaa. It's just. Black kids are Christian kids. Yeah. I guarantee you if you gave a black kid a choice, be like, listen, you could celebrate Kwanzaa or you could celebrate Christmas. The kid is always going to pick Christmas.

He is. Because you just get gifts. You just get everything you want. Christmas is just. I mean, it's food. It's drinking. It's dancing. It's presents. It's stress. Because make no mistake. just get gifts you just get everything you want christmas is just i mean it's food it's it's drinking it's dancing it's presents it's stress a lot because make no mistake it's a few brews at a salsa party i had a few fucking brews and we had a few surprise guests at our christmas party

and it's what it is because i gotta be honest you. One of those guests was not Uncle Arthur. Yeah. Because him and Janet did not speak. Yeah. Unfortunately, one of the guests could not make it because he was judging cats. And it's just what it is. It's just what it is. He hasn't been back to Ridgewood since he came out of the closet. Does he speak with a Brooklyn accent and a gay accent? Like, come to my apartment.

Yeah. Yeah, like the fucking guy. Let me suck your dick. Let me suck your dick off, like Thomas Dale. Like Thomas Dale. No, but I was thinking about it next year, truthfully. And for our Jewish listeners or Hanukkah celebrators and our Kwanzaa celebrators, if you could write on the Patreon wall, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and tell us some of your

traditions. Because next year, of course, we're going to do Christmas, but I'd also like to do a night of Hanukkah with one of our Patreon members. And I'd also like to do a night of Kwanzaa with one of our Patreon members if they're celebrating. And I'd like to join the festivities and just see what it's about. Truly. You put festivities in quotation marks.

Yeah, whatever. They're not having a great time like we are. Under the mistletoe, kissing guys, Chinese hairless guys like Sphinx cats. It was fucking great and I did I had a great Christmas and I did get a surprise gift on my Venmo.

I got $100 from the guy's dick I sucked in Houston. And it was just nice. It was nice to get that gift. Because we're big in Houston. Babe, we we're big in Houston Babe We're fucking big in Houston babe Cause it's funny when I call you babe Yeah it's funny And also when you call it Houston

Houston Houston babe Cause you had a lot of aunts over there One missing uncle And a surprise guest And a surprise guest My baby mama showed up At about 11.30

She said you know what Make no mistake It was a fucking German American Ridgewood Festival of Christmas And you had your cousins there Who were firefighters And you had your aunts there

And that was just one Puerto Rican One and a half Puerto Rican Because there was your baby's mother Your baby's mama and your daughter Who's half Puerto Rican. Because there was your baby's mother, your baby's mama, and your daughter, who's half Puerto Rican. Yeah. And everyone was just sitting around just worshiping Jesus. Yeah. And she said, you know what?

This party needs to be livened up. We need to play some salsa. And she put on reggaeton and that's it. Yeah. And then we had a lot. And there was dancing. People were smoking cigarettes. Even my mom started to dance.

And Aileen had a couple fucking Newports Cuz make no mistake And Eileen was chain smoking Newports Drinking spot and beers Mixing the sauce with her fucking Marisa slippers on that smell like cigarette smoke And make no mistake One of the German cookies that Janet used to cook you

Linza tarts Cuz and we had a Linza tart yesterday At Pepino's in Bay Ridge And cuz Linza tart Make no mistake Linza tart is a good cookie, and it was also my hero's favorite cookie, Adolf Hitler. Weishan Chien.

Weishan Chien. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He's giving you the Weishan Chien, so you don't have to. Well, no, I don't have the headphones on, because my hair looks good today, and I got a date with a dude after this, so I can't put on the headphones, because I'll mess up my hair.

It's what it is. So it's kind of a Linzer tart? A Linzer tart. A Linzer tart. Yeah, you kind of a linsentart? A linsentart. A linsentart. Yeah, you liked it, cuz. Tell me you didn't like that cookie. It was very nice, and I'm sure that James Haybert Madden has a few of those when he was growing up.

Yeah, and by the way- Because his mother was a Nazi! His mother was a Nazi, and we've decided to not have Haybert on the podcast anymore because he just doesn't gel with us. And it's just what it is. We'll have him back on. He'll come on once in a while. But listen, if you're going to be on this podcast, if you're going to be a guest on this podcast,

and if you're going to be a listener to this podcast, anything we do, you just need to go with. Okay? Because we are fucking the history caps lock hyenas. So we are just going gonna say and do things That are fucking wild Cuz what did you get for fucking Christmas? What did I get for Christmas? I need to know what you got for Christmas

Because make no mistake You're a Franks and Beans grown up kid Who was wearing a cat shirt That had a cat with a Santa hat on And he was sitting on a piece of pizza Yeah well I got I posted a picture on my Instagram Of what I got for Christmas. My aunt Janet got me

a remote control car, which is dope. I got a $100 gift card to Old Navy. And did your baby's mama get you, you paying for a toy for her other kid? Yeah, I know, it was like. Merry Christmas! It was like, it was like, you know, when we were opening up Christmas gifts, when it was just me and my baby

mama, and my baby were opening up Christmas gifts and saying, this one's from Santa, this one's from Daddy, and then this one Mommy bought, but really it's Daddy's credit card. So instead of putting from Mom, it would just say from Dad's second credit card. And it's

just what it is. What'd you get, cuz? I got the remote control car. I got Tommy John underwear, which, by the way, they are not a sponsor of this podcast, but I fucking will promote them for free. Tommy John underwear Which by the way they are not a sponsor of this podcast But I fucking will promote them for free Tommy John underwear give your ass a home Tommy John underwear They're the most comfortable underwear I've ever had in my life

Tommy John called second skin Underwear Sal Volcano The great Sal Volcano from Apraxial Jokers Put me on to them and I'm telling you They fucking have changed my life They're $35 a pair so I got a couple of Tommy John's for my mom double XL because you know my mom knows that I got a thick cut of

beef and I got so I got Tommy John's I got a remote control car I got $100 gift card to Old Navy I got a $25 gift card to a Sunoco gas station because that's where I go to pump up so I got that and then I got a bunch of scratch offs from Ann Eileen that's what she gives me she gives me $10 in a card and a bunch of scratch offs yeah so I got that And then I got a bunch of scratch-offs from Annie Lee That's what she gives me She gives me $10 in a card and a bunch of scratch-offs

So I got that And then what else did I get? I got an Under Armour sweatshirt from my pops And I got a scarf from my stepmom And then yeah My daughter got everything she wanted I brought my dad a printer I bought baby mama a coat

I bought my mom, she wanted a snow globe And these earrings that I got her I spent about a thousand dollars on Christmas Cause six months Six months after Christmas Most Americans are still in debt from Christmas How wild is that fact that we want I just would rather have a Christmas

Where only kids got presents I don't need gloves I don't need fucking cheese plates I don't need gloves. No, I don't want it. I don't need fucking cheese plates. No. I don't need a scarf. No. If you want to give me anything, give me a fucking gift certificate to Banana Republic because make no mistake, I love B&R.

No, I know. By the way, I got you a Christmas gift and I left it in the fucking car. What did you get me? I got you a mug that says it's what it is. Wow. Yeah, that's what I got you. You made me feel bad because you know what I got you? What? What you deserve. What what it is. Wow. Yeah, that's what I got you. You made me feel bad because you know what I got you? What? What you deserve.

What? Fucking nothing. Nothing. Because next year for Christmas I know exactly what to get you. And if members of the Matron, if you want to get Giannis a gift, you just have to get him one thing and one thing only and that's witch hazel to clean his ass. Because

you got to tell the people you clean your ass out with witch hazel. Because I clean my asshole out with witch hazel Like my father did before me And his father did before him It's a family secret The best way to clean out your asshole Is witch hazel But how? Does it sting? What does it do?

See it's a milder form of alcohol Like rubbing alcohol It's a milder astringent. Yeah. Alcohol is a little too much burn on your ass, but make no mistake. Yeah. Once in a while, I will use 80 to 90% alcohol and just deal with the pain for a couple seconds because I know as a trade-off, I got a very pristine, clean asshole.

Well, because I'm going to- But it does burn bad I'm gonna confide something in you Because when I went to England You're a gay kid I used witch hazel on my finger Because I got an infection in my finger Because I was biting my nails out there

Because I was nervous Because I was like far away from my mom This is 2012 And it was the first time I slept alone So I bit my fingers I got an infection in my finger I think I told you about this in my cuticle And I put witch hazel on

So I thought witch hazel Was the same as hydrogen peroxide But it's not And yesterday when you told me About witch hazel in your butt I didn't have any witch hazel So I tried some hydrogen peroxide In my butt

And make no mistake It really hurt Cause Yeah Why would you do such a Franks and beans thing When you have a PhD In physical therapy

Because Cause I thought hydrogen peroxide And witch hazel were just substitutes for each other, but they're not. Yeah. And my ass really still hurts to this day. It hurts 24 hours later. Because hydrogen peroxide foams up. It should not be anywhere close to your asshole.

Yeah, it foamed up on my ass in the back of my nutsack. Yeah, and it probably got caught on one of your fucking hemorrhoids. And it probably got caught, if we're just being honest, on one of my ass warts. It is what it is. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, cuz I'm excited

for Christmas. I was excited for Christmas and I totally agree with you. I don't want any gifts and I suggested to my family, because we have a lot of children in my family, I said, why don't next year everybody just get, all these children just get one nice gift. Like, you know, just one really nice one. Even if you want to spend $200 on this child's gift, the whole family will chip in. As opposed to having all these kids got 10, 15, 20 gifts.

I mean, all the parents are taking garbage bags full of presents home. Everybody's house is a mess. My Aunt Eileen's house was a mess. People are getting stressed out. My mother needed to go outside and get some fresh air. Aunt Eileen's smoking a pack of cigarettes. Everybody's drinking. It wasn't worth it.

The family barely talked because everybody's opening up gifts. Hey, do you have this gift? Don't take this guy's gift. It's mindless. We don't have to do that. And it stresses everyone out. We don't have to do that. And it stresses everyone out. It stresses everybody out. Leading up to Christmas, you're just stressed out trying to get all the gifts, running around.

You don't have fun. It's one of those things that I guarantee you it changes. Just like, remember how you used to not be able to wear sneakers even to school? Right. And then slowly but surely guy rebels cute kids started pushing pushing next thing you know everyone's wearing jeans next thing you know everyone's wearing sneakers another example of how traditions change yeah uh trees everyone used to get a real tree everyone used to look down at you if you had a plastic tree now everyone's got a

fucking plastic because they're like oh why are you killing these innocent trees? Also, it's just so much simpler to have Santa be from fucking China, okay? Because there's no fucking little pine cones getting all over the place. No little evergreen leaves. It's just clean. It doesn't dry. I mean, you know, you want to get the smell? Get yourself a nice candle.

Get a candle An evergreen candle Burn it with a Chinese tree And it is what it is Absolutely Or just fucking get a Chinese person Off the street And string him up with some lights

It's what it is And fucking spray it And put a bunch of Put a bunch of Air freshers Pine air freshers That you buy at a car wash And put it on him

And who fucking cares Who gives a shit Cuz when you When you called the Chinese guy Who blew you in Houston a Sphinx cat, it was one of the top three funniest things that's ever happened in human history. Yeah. You referred to a Chinese man as a Sphinx cat. That's what it is.

Cuz they're hairless. Yeah. Cuz. But nobody used to have fucking fake trees. No. Now, everyone has. It's okay now to have fake trees. Pretty soon.

Yeah. fake trees. It's okay now to have fake trees. Pretty soon, it's going to be only kids get presents on Christmas because, make my mistake, all of us adults are stressed out. Because I have a big family. And a big ass. I have a big family. I have a big ass. I have big nipples. One big nipple.

One big nipple. The other one's normal. I'm 241 and it's getting to the point now where I'm actually depressed about it. I have to lose weight. But if you lose weight, it'll look weird because your head will be the same size. You're an appropriate sized kid. But I'm starting to get a double chin now. No, but your head

is too big. Yeah. If your body does get smaller, you're going to look like a fucking lollipop. Make no mistake, in the deep neighborhoods in Brooklyn, in Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst, we're going to look like a fucking lollipop. Because make no mistake, in the deep neighborhoods in Brooklyn, in Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst, we're going to start calling it the Italian Alamo. It's the last day. Because make no mistake, we've got Chinese attacking on all sides.

It's becoming overrun by Chinese. And we're just going to have to make a stand. And are you with me? Are you against me? That's just what it is. I did not say that. That's a quote from Pauly Gassi, one of the best boxer trainers in Brooklyn, who trains out of his garage in Bensonhurst and lives in his mother's basement and makes vitamins

in the basement and shows up to sessions fucking hammered. Which is the description of the most Brooklyn Italian thing you've ever heard in your life. Someone who trains people out of their mother's garage is a fucking Italian kid. It's a fucking Italian kid. I walked in the other day to training. He was lit up. He was lit up like a fucking Christmas tree at nine o'clock in the morning. Hashtag alcoholism.

Does he listen to our podcast? He doesn't, but he's a great fucking guy. Thank God he does not listen because he knows how to hit and make no mistake. We're using his real name. Yeah, but he's great business. I'm telling you we're using it's real name yeah but he's great business i'm telling you no it's obviously i'm kidding about the he used to train paulie he was paulie my train i'm kidding about the uh the drinking yeah um uh he's a great trainer so if you guys are in the brooklyn area like call up paulie gassy find him on instagram he is his

i'm telling you it's like he's one of the best trainers uh and it's right out of his garage and you just get a fucking fantastic workout. But we were talking, and he was like, listen, because he's an old school talent kid. He was like, listen. He was like, he's like, what's up with your friend Giannis? And I said, what do you mean? You know, he does these characters, you know, it's a more recent character I always see over there. You know, he's dressing up like a woman.

He goes, whoa, whoa, you ever ask this kid a question about, you know, who we really, you know, does this kid want to be a woman? I mean, he's a gay kid, no? And I was like, no, he's not. It's just like a character. He goes, well, let me ask you something. He said, if you walked in here one day and I had on a wig and women's clothing and women's Chinese slippers, he said, what am I basically saying to you? What am I crying out for?

You know what the answer is? I was like, what? He was like, cock. That's what I'm crying out for. Cock. He said, and that's what Giannis is crying out for. He said, so if you want to make his Christmas, just give him some cock. That's what he wants.

Well, he's not wrong. He's also a smart kid, apparently. Yeah. You know, because he can see through the mirage. Yeah. Okay, because this whole fucking I'm a guy thing. Yeah. It's getting a little tired.

It's getting a little tired. And I can see you're starting to morph because that sweater is unisex. It's not a 100% man sweater. It's the only little tired. And I can see you're starting to morph because that sweater is unisex. It's not a 100% man sweater. It's the only fucking sweater that fits me. I'm fat now. Cuz, make no mistake, you're not 2012 fat. I am, no.

How fat were you in 2012? I'm 207 now. And what were you back then? 225. Okay, so you're a long way away from that. Yeah, but I need to climb back under 200. You're gonna have to start doing snooze again and just get mouth cancer, but at least you'll look good for your wedding. It's a trade-off. Yeah. It's a fucking

trade-off. It's what it is, cuz. And you're having a good hair day. Make no mistake, as we said before on the podcast, some days Giannis has hair and some days Giannis just doesn't have hair. Cuz, have you ever met a person who on some days is an unattractive kid and then on other days looks like Hugh Jackman? Yeah, I mean, some days you're...

Seriously, that's a strange, unique person. It's a strange thing. Yeah, some days you're so handsome, it's like, why isn't this guy a fucking supermodel? And then some days, I just can't even eat around you. And you know I got a dirty ass in your apartment. Yeah, cuz, your ass was so dirty last week that I kicked you out and then sprayed the apartment down with Lysol like you were a rouge. We did a We did a. I needed

the apartment clean because Mateo Lane, who's super gay, go to his Instagram, at Mateo Lane, cook dinner for me, and then I sucked his dick. We did a kamikaze yesterday. Did we post that one yet? We will be. It's going up tonight. All this is going up tonight, Thursday night.

We're in between Christmas and New Year's. We'll talk about New Year's, talk about our plans. Because this is going to come out New Year's Eve, this episode. This is going to come out tonight on the Patreon. Oh yeah, that's right. But it'll come out for the regular people for our toots. Yeah. It comes out on New Year's Eve, correct, Sa? Yeah, for our non-toots.

Listen, if you just want to look in the mirror and finally say to yourself, you know what? I'm finally not a toot, then all you have to do is go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys and be a part of the matriarchy and just finally cleanse yourself of being a toot that you are. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's all you have to do.

That's all you have to do. Make no mistake. We did a kamikaze yesterday, which is for our $25 members. It was our first jargon talk. And it's the first time you kamikazed me. Yeah, I fucking caught you. Because, cuz, make no mistake. I know you wouldn't think it, but I keep my friends closer.

My enemies even. I keep my friends closer. My enemies even closer. And make no mistake, my enemy is still the Japanese. And what I did to you yesterday was a fucking Jap move. God. God. Way some shit.

Thank you. Just want to make sure the fucking Buzzy's still awake over there. Yeah, because I did that to fucking Ted Sack. Obviously, I'm kidding. I love the Japanese food. Shout out sushi. Shout out fucking Godzilla. You don't like fucking Japanese food at all. I like sushi.

What are you talking about? I eat sushi. You do eat sushi? I eat fucking little sushi. Absolutely. I put a little sushi on a panini. Well. Absolutely.

Yeah. Would you eat sushi in front of the boys? I wouldn't eat sushi in front of the boys because it's just, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's too hard to take. I won't eat sushi in front of the boys because that's not what they want. That's still the enemy. You know what?

I'm not sure if I would eat sushi. If someone can prove to me that they did military service, we're going for pizza. We're going for American food. Italian food is American food. Absolutely. Service, we're going for pizza. We're going for American food. Italian food is American food.

Absolutely. If you've served in this country, you should have, for the rest of your life, just American dishes for free. I'm talking about apple pie, pizza, hot dogs, and Yankees tickets for the rest of your life. That's what it is. Just for free if you fought for this country. Because those are true patriot things. So during our kamikaze yesterday, we were running along the water and doing the kamikaze, and Chris pulled his calf. About four minutes into the run.

Yeah, and then he had to go take a piss. Yeah. Yeah. Part of me thinks you were lying that you pulled your calf. You just didn't want to run anymore. You had to take a piss like a girl. Yeah. You have a bladder like a girl.

I was breathing heavy, right? You were breathing heavy because you're carrying around 240 pounds. Yeah. But what I told you is, you know, part of the reason you pulled your calf is because when you put on Christmas weight, sometimes you put it on unevenly. Yeah. And a little bit of the fat goes in one cheek. Yeah.

So you have a little bit. One of your butt cheeks is a little bigger than the other. Yeah. And then that's the calf you pulled because it was pulling a little bit of an extra load. Yeah. So you got to make sure you eat evenly. Yeah. You got to eat a lot at the you got to make sure you eat evenly. Yeah. You got to eat a lot at the same time to make sure the fat goes in your butt in a well-distributed

manner. Yeah, because- You don't want to have a bumpy butt. Because it's almost to the point where I think, if you did an MRI CAT scan on my body, which we should do, maybe we'll do for the Patreon members, I'll get an MRI CAT scan. I think my stomach's in my butt. I don't think it's i just think there because i instantly feel weight in my butt right away the top of my ass just starts to get bigger yeah you do have a wide butt we are gonna post it on the patreon

because i have stretch marks on my thighs like a woman like i gave birth i have actual stretch marks on my butt like i gave birth wow that's wild right yeah it is uh marcy yeah yeah i'm just gonna call you marcy no from now on no if you're gonna call me a woman name i want you to call me denise i always thought if i was a woman my name would be denise sometimes i tuck my dick back and fucking because is it wild that sometimes delilah runs into the room when she's with me and i have my dick tucked back just to confuse her a little bit no that's not weird that's normal that. That's normal. That's normal behavior.

And I'm like, I'm your other mommy. Just as a rhetorical question. Is that normal? No, it's not normal. You fucking psycho. And I'll be like, hey, baby, I'm your other mother, Denise. Do the Denise voice. How do you sound if you were a woman?

How would you be? How would you be if you were a woman? Truthfully? Yeah. What would you do? I know how you'd sit. Would you sew? Would you bake cakes?

What would you do? You fucking. Yeah. Denise, I'd be sitting. I'd be sitting i'd be i'd sit on my counter like like a sexy kitten like i did like picture and then i probably honestly i think i maybe talk like this i'd be like hi my name is denise how are you um welcome to little lemon um yeah of course whatever you need absolutely um i I have all types of running gear here and nice shoes. And oh my God, is that your cock?

Yeah. Just do you want to stick it in my belly button? Whatever you want to do. Denise, you're a big girl. Thank you. Yeah. Oh my God. If I had this ass as a woman, if you made it.

Black guys would be all over you. Yeah, cuz. It would be fucking crazy. Cuz, I mean, is there a bigger magnet for black men than a big fat ass? Cuz, is it wild that sometimes I'm jerking off my left hand and just moving my ass cheeks with my right hand? Kind of turns me on? Is it wild?

Oh, god. Is that wild? Cuz, you're not well. You're not a well kid. Cuz, I'm starting to show my psychosis a little bit. I came out with full cat pajamas on yesterday. I know you did. In public.

And then I actually went to the diner this morning with cat pants on. And I didn't know why people were looking at me. Yeah, that's what it is. I also had my daughter's hat on. Did you see the picture of my daughter's hat? I did. Yeah. And we did a walk and talk and a kamikaze for our $10 and $25 members while Chris was in full Santa Cat pajamas.

Yeah. So go check those out at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Isis, how was fucking Islamabad Day? Yeah. What do you guys celebrate instead of Christmas? The death of America. What else? Absolutely. Death of America Day. Are you a Christmas guys celebrate instead of Christmas? The death of America. What else? Absolutely.

Death of America Day. Are you a Christmas kid? Do you celebrate Christmas? Well, my mom converted, so half my family is still Christian. And we kind of, I guess, gave up on the Islam thing halfway through life. So, yeah, we celebrate Christmas. What'd you get? I mean, I got this sweater I'm wearing.

I got clothes. It was really more about the kids. I got a tattoo. That was cool. You got a tattoo? Did you check out his sweater? It's nice, dude. Let me see. Yeah, that's not a Bugle Boy sweater. Nice Adidas sweater. Wow, fucking nice.

Still looks like it was bought at Modelo's, though. Yeah, and he looks jacked today, actually. It definitely was bought at Modelo's. Did you work out over the holiday season? Nah, I ate a lot. I got sick, and I couldn't really go to the gym. What happened? I don't know. One of my cousins got me sick.

They came over, and that's just what happened. What, you got a cold, or were you shitting yourself? No, I got a cold. I almost shat myself, but I got to the bathroom in time. Nice, yeah. Because Christmas is really a fucking wild. It's a combination of things. That's the thing, and that's what we're going to talk about today.

It's like the history of Christmas. And what's so mind-blowing to me is that, yeah, like Yana said, it's just kind of monotheistic religions and pagan religions just combined and took a little bit from each things they like, things they didn't like. And it's like, so we all celebrate this, and we do this, and we do that. But really, it's just a few guys just decide what the customs are, and then people go nuts and kill themselves over things that aren't real. Yeah. It's not real. Two most important parts of what became Christmas are the Yule Festival, which was a winter festival of the Germanic people. we're talking about some germanic

tribes my people yeah some anglo-saxon fucking germanic people yeah it was the yule and then the roman saturnalia yeah so basically all the people and this is dark it gets a little dark it's a little dark but you know people in the different regions in history around that time, during the Roman times, they all had a festival. They both had festivals that celebrated the winter solstice. Yeah, which was sometime always between December 21st and January 6th. Yeah. Yes.

So that is when it's fucking coldest. And in the. And darkest. And darkest. In the way north. We're talking about, you know, up in Norway and Canada. Narnia, yeah. Up there.

Wherever, where Santa lives. Yeah. Up there. It is dark 24 hours a day. So this festival is sort of a celebration of light in the darkness yeah because because here's the thing you know back in those times you know the winter was like everybody would just protect against the winter everybody just lived their life hoping they would make it through the winter women children men everybody who would just you would try to make it through the winter. So all these different, you know, amulets like, you know, mistletoe, like, for example, the mistletoe.

That was just a thing that people started doing because they were hoping that it would like get the spirits that would give life and energy to make the house warmer to protect you from the winter. That's just, it's just a thing that they thought of. It has like, and now we like, oh, kiss under the mistletoe or you have to have a mistletoe. It's like, and I, and that's just the Northern religions in some other pagan religions, even, uh,

South, like in Greece and Turkey, where stupid Giannis is from the mistletoe. People would actually be beheaded underneath the mistletoe and their heads would be used, um, as sacrificial. What are you looking for? Am I saying something wrong?

No, you're saying it right. I'm just looking at you. Yeah. Yeah. So their heads would be used as... As fucking ornaments. As ornaments.

So it went from heads to apples to now fucking Christmas ornaments from Yankee Stadium. How fucking wild is that? How wild is that? It used to be people's heads and I think we should bring it back. Yeah, it was really dark.

I mean, it was really dark and Saint Nick was a Turkish kid who freaking... Yeah, who died and used to be nice to kids. And then he turned into Santa Claus, who's a mixture of the god Saturn, which is what the Roman festival of Saturnalis is based on.

Saturn, he's the god of agriculture. Right. And Saturn was just basically, the Saturnalis was just one big fucking orgy. Yeah. I mean, they just drank and they fucked and they went wild. Yeah, and it's based in deep, dark stuff. There was this king, his name was King Nimrod, and he was an evil fucking king. This guy was just not a nice kid.

He was an evil king. And Nimrod can be translated into Nicholas, into Niklaus, St. Niklaus. Nimrod can be translated into Nicholas, into Niklaus, St. Niklaus. And in ancient times, like in those countries in Germany and Norway and Sweden and all those places, they would tell the children, don't go outside in the winter. St. Nicholas is going to get you and take you away from us and put you in his bag. And that's why even Santa Claus's suit is red, because it meant it's symbolizing fire, which Nimrod was a god of fire.

And here's where it gets really wild. Another translation of the name Nimrod into Nicholas also is Lucifer. So really, Santa Claus is like this kind of evil. Santa Claus is really the devil. I mean, in some cultures, Santa Claus looks like the devil. So we've now made this character positive, positive, positive. But for a long time, it was negative. And he wasn't so celebrated. What is the winter solstice, you're asking?

Well, we're no astronomers, but we can tell you what it is because of fucking Google. Yeah. It's when the sun is tilted 23.5 degrees away from the earth. And all you got to do is reverse the words Earth and sun, what I just said, and it's correct. Because it's the Earth that's tilted 23.5 degrees away from the sun, which means it's tilted the farthest away in the northern hemisphere. Right. And so it's the coldest day of the year. And that is on December 21st.

So December 21st is the winter solstice, which is the darkest day of the year. Probably the coldest on a lot of days, but you know, definitely the darkest because it's, it's tilted away with, so it has the shortest day and the longest night. It's the most darkness. And then three days later, the sun comes back up, you know? So that's like symbolizes the rise of jesus yeah it's all kind of fucking you know even the name sunday even the word sunday is from the sun sun god and then fucking even the virgin birth there was a fucking egyptian guy guy had a god look it

up is it harod or Harod? Who fucking was born of virgin birth. There was an Egyptian god who was said to have been born of virgin birth. No, not Herod. King Herod was the... Not King Herod. He was searching for fucking Jesus. He wanted to kill Jesus. He wanted to kill Jesus.

And I swear he wasn't going to fucking get him. Not on my watch. What was his name? What's the fucking virgin god who was born? I mean, who was the Egyptian god? Horus. Horus. I knew it started with an age horus was a egyptian god that predated the story of jesus but it's the same exact story as

jesus so a lot of people believe that the story of christianity is just one that's adapted from the egyptian god horus who's the son of Osiris and who? And Horus, that's where the word whore comes from. We translate it to toot, which means if you're not part of our Patreon, you fucking worship Horus, you dirty toot. Yeah. So the son of Osiris and God, is that what it is? Or the son?

He's the sun god. Son of Osiris and Isis. And Isis. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Macha da'ayde. Mach Isis. Machada. Machada. Machada. Machada. Machada. Machada.

Yeah, see, so that's what I'm saying. Christmas is fucking worshipped by Isis, so don't do it. Yeah. So it's freaking wild. In ancient Rome, they celebrated the winter solstice, like we said, with the festival of Saturnalia. solstice like we said with the with the festival saturnalia and at the same time concurrently up north these freaking these germanic tribes were celebrating yule so what happened is eventually you know when rome got christianized after constantine made it what the deal was in the

roman catholic church became what it did they just said you know what we're trying to unify all these people we're trying to seduce all these people. We're trying to seduce all these pagans who have these polytheistic religions. Now we're becoming an official monotheistic religion. So we believe in Jesus. So what we're going to do to lure all these freaking Germanic

kids that are within the empire of Rome in Gaul or wherever the fuck else they were as Rome was bigger wherever it conquered. So what we're going to do is we're just going to combine their feasts that they already have. We're just going to take Yule, and we're going to take Saturnalia, and we're just going to make it Christmas. Yeah, we're just going to end some things.

Jesus' birthday, even though he was clearly born in the fucking summer because the shepherds were out. Right. And in Palestine, the shepherds don't have their flocks out during the winter. They have to take him inside because it's cold at night. It's cold. Like Vegas. And that's why.

And that's why, you know, there's certain things that they didn't realize. Like, yeah. I mean, most people know now that Jesus most likely wasn't born in December because of the shepherds. that Jesus most likely wasn't born in December because of the shepherds. But, you know, what Janus said, too, you know, about the Roman Empire just deciding, you know, to keep peace and just to lure these people in to just make, to just pretty much blend Christianity with paganism is important because before that, the Roman emperors would go out to the coliseums and the gladiators would be fighting like, you know, like a modern day boxing match or a football game. And they would go out and when a gladiator was down, they would give thumbs up or thumbs

down to kill him or not kill him. So it was like a brutal, brutal, brutal culture. But what they would also do is they would take out weak Christians who weren't fed and were like diseased and feed them to the lions and hyenas. They would feed them to lions and hyenas and the crowds would go nuts watching them eat alive and rip apart Christian women, children, everybody. They would kill Christians. Hold on.

ISIS just got a boner. Yeah. ISIS just came in my eye. And so it was important, you know, but then like Yana said in the beginning of the podcast, cultures just inevitably change. It's like we may be living in a time where 50 years from now Children are not even getting gifts anymore Or they're getting very little gifts

It's almost going to be looked at Because I got to be honest with you Yeah when the Chinese and Muslims take over especially Oh yeah Christmas has gone away Yeah it's gone We're going to be celebrating Yeah it's going to be

Yeah Yeah I It's gone. We're going to be celebrating. Yeah, it's going to be. Yeah. Wei Zhongxin, please. Yeah. Wei Zhongxin. Yeah. Even in my family this year, it was the first year, you know, where I was like, you know, when I was watching all these kids like rip open their presents and watching like everybody chase around and try to throw garbage out and even like looking at my daughter like go wild for it.

It was like, this doesn't feel right it feels like there's something not evil but just wrong about like even just watching how rabid my daughter got i was like this is i don't know that i want this for her and when i made the suggestion at christmas to like hey why don't we try one gift next year everyone my family's like we cannot do that my family too yeah no way we can't it's like so people are just stuck in their ways yeah but as as the culture evolves like more and more people like i like if you said that to me like the younger people in my family were all about it like me and my cousins who are my age like who have kids they're like yeah i would only give them one gift i only give them one gift at home but like the older generation that have just

catholicism and christianity indoctrinated in them they they because make no mistake when my mom was going to church when she was you know young when oh well she still goes yeah no i'm saying but they all talk about when they were little kids churches catholic churches were fucking packed yeah like pack lying outside the door now you go nobody's well, you know, you guys need to rebrand yourself as the church that doesn't fuck kids. Yeah. You have that little problem. Yeah, it's just, it's a small-ish. If you hire like an advertising firm and like, hey, we're the church that doesn't fuck kids anymore.

Yeah. That could help. It's probably going to help. Sorry, Lynn. We'll see. It's just what it is. Because if Lynn listens to this podcast and you said something like that to her, first of all, she'd fucking kill you. And if you said Christmas isn't real, she'd have a big problem with you.

She'd fucking crack a brew over your head. Well, we've done a lot of research. And the facts are just that Christmas is pretty much a combination of a fucking orgy type festival in Rome called Saturnalis. And German kids going fucking wild, sacrificing kids. Cutting their heads off and making them Christmas ornaments. In Germany. And then some mixture of some fucking Turkish kid named Saint Nick. And some combination of what they, how they depict.

Mithra, the guy Mithra, remember? Mithra, what was he, the god, the Mithra. He was like another sun god. They're all sun gods from different cultures. It's all about three days. It's like you can go down these YouTube holes. It all comes back to the same thing. It's some god of the sun, something to do with the number three, three days.

Three days. Three days and something with some sacrifice and a tree in your house. Yeah. So basically Christmas is a celebration of the return of light three days after the winter solstice on December 21st. December 21st is the longest night of the year. Because it's the winter solstice. Yeah. So in the north, they fucking light candles.

They burn kids. They dance around. They fuck each other in the asshole. I'm making that part up, but it probably happened. With witch hazel. With witch hazel. They cleaned out with witch hazel. You think Matte but it probably happened. With witch hazel? With witch hazel. They cleaned out with witch hazel. You think Matteo Lange cleans his ass with witch hazel?

100% he has to. You gotta be squeaky clean in the gay community. Yeah. So it's all about worshiping the sun, which if you think about it, is the giver of life. Right. And in the north, they even refer to it as Sol Evictus, which is Roman, as the unconquered sun. Right. As it's seen once again, staining the horizon as the unconquered sun. Right.

As it's seen once again staining the horizon with the promise of hope and brilliance three days after the winter solstice. So that's just what it is because it's a pagan holiday mixed with a Roman holiday mixed with, you know, the Romans deciding post Constantine that Jesus Christ was going to be the official one. We're going to simplify this. Basically, Christianity is the Walmart of religions. Yeah. It used to be all these different mom and pop religions with thousands of gods. And Rome was like, you know what? This is going to be a one-stop shop. We're going to fucking simplify and unify everybody.

And everyone's just going to worship the baby Jesus. And Puerto Ricans, Italians, and Irish are going to have the nativity scene on their lawn. And make no mistake, you can tell a lot about how people decorate the outside of their houses on Christmas. And if you see a nativity scene, make no mistake, that family does not support gay marriage. Yeah, it's what it is. If you see a nativity scene, you know one thing and you know one thing for sure, that the leader of that family, the patriarch of that family, works in a union. He has to.

There's no other way. That guy can build something for you if they got a nativity scene out there. And let's just be real, and I know this may offend some people, but I'm starting to think now, I'm just starting to think that a devout belief in religion coincides with the lower iq i don't have any data to prove that it's just a hunch how do you feel about what i just said is it potentially true not i'm not saying everybody but i would just think the IQ of people who can say, I don't believe in religion is higher than the IQ of people who say, I devoutly believe in this religion. Do you think that that's probably fair and probably true? Or there's no way to answer it?

Common sense says yes. Yeah. I mean, we were talking about this the other day. I mean, Nicholas Tesla is a human being. Human being. Go on, keep going. Ed Wellfarts? Why do your farts all sound the same?

CWF, Chrissy Wellfarts. Is that not one of the strangest things? Are we not two strange kids who are put here by the simulators? You have a weird tit, and your farts sound underwater. Why do your farts have water with them? And you're losing your hair, but your eyebrows are getting more hair. That's what it is. Guys, make no mistake. I'm a Greek kid, and my eyebrows look like caterpillars.

Cuz, it's just you don't even have to. I'm a fucking going to be a gross old kid. You don't have to wear. Greek people are gross. Yeah, you fucking look like a disguise. You look like a disguise face. Cuz, I look like I'm wearing a Groucho Marx. When I got my glasses on, I look like I'm wearing a Groucho Marx mask from a fucking novelty store.

Yeah, cuz, but you're a fucking handsome kid with a woman's sweater on. It's what it is. Only on certain days, and it's just what it the fuck is. What were we talking about before I farted? You were saying, oh, we were talking about- IQ. No, but you were saying we were talking about this the other day. You just said it, and then I farted.

Yeah, I was saying, like, you know, Nikola Tesla, guys. Tesla, right. Like, the people who've moved us forward, Isaac Newton, whose birthday was a couple days ago. Shout out. Shout out to Isaac Newton. You know, one of the, obviously, probably the most important scientists in the history of mankind. And probably had a nice piece. Also, he was a straight white male.

So fucking down with him. Yeah, so he actually fucking ruined it. And so was fucking Nicholas Tesla, who fucking gave us fucking electricity. Fuck him. Fuck Thomas Edison. Fuck you, white man. Straight. If you're gay, you're fucking cool.

OK, but if you're a white man and you like puss puss. Yeah. Fuck you. And what you built. Yes. So we were saying like, yeah, I mean, there's such a there's such a difference in intelligence between a guy like Tesla and just like a normal person who walks into a Catholic church and gets ashes on their foreheads on Wednesday, walks around like a fucking idiot all day. Yeah. Yeah.

Because Catholics are pedophiles. Yeah. If you say it again, we can step outside because I'm telling you, I went to Catholic school. I went to Catholic grammar school, Catholic high school, Catholic college. And time and time again, when they were questioned, when professors were questioned, it was like, look, it's blind faith, blind faith, blind faith, blind faith. Like, there's no answer here. It's just the answer is blind faith. When I was in college, I had this really great theology professor,

and he was a Catholic priest. And he was very, you know, smart guy and went to some Ivy League school. And he was like, look, the truth of the matter is, is that most of this is made up, but you can choose to just choose to believe, you know, blind faith is what we have. And he was like, you know, there's, but most of it is made up. He was like, but, you know there's but most of it is made up he was like but you know the stories are cool he's I didn't say the stories are cool but he said the story should be used as parallels

of ways to live your life that that's what it is but don't don't take this as truth don't believe that Jonah don't believe Jonah and the whale don't believe that that's truthful that was truthful that's why I liked him once I got to college St. Joseph's College I had professors who were more real.

They were like, this is just, they're parallels to live your life by. You know, Jesus smashed the, you know, tables outside the temple, you know, when people were selling goods and services because, you know, was selling goods because he was like, the story there, you know, did Jesus even exist and do that? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But what the story is, is don't, you know, don't be a slave to money and goods. Like, live your life, you know, look up at the sky. That part of religion is really good.

Yeah. The morality, you know. Yeah, and the Bible is riddled with morality. Yeah, you know, and, you know, man cannot live by bread alone essentially means man needs philosophy as well. Yeah. You can't just, that so separates us from the animals. And man cannot live by bread alone essentially means man needs philosophy as well. Yeah. That so separates us from the animals. We've invented morality in order to be able to have a civilization, have a society, and have it function.

And man cannot live by bread alone means that we can't just live to eat shit and sleep like the rest of the animals we also have to have Morality yeah, and also man can't live by bread alone because man should be on keto And bread is not keto protein because my new I told you my new diet. I'm just gonna have yogurts for lunch Yeah, I'm gonna lose weight that way. Yeah, I want both meals I'm just gonna have a nice almond milk yogurt for lunch with some nuts for protein And that's just what and that's just how I'm gonna get shredded by next year people just people just know it's not gonna stick You know, but who's st. Nicholas st. Nicholas of Myra? Okay, he was a kid who lived in 343 and he was known as Nicholas of Bari and he was an ancient Christian bishop Who was a Turkish kid fucking?

Turkish kid. Who was a fucking Turkish kid. Gross. He was a Turkish kid who lived in modern day Turkey. And this was during the Roman Empire. He died in like 343. I think he died. Right, so Christianity, Catholicism and Christianity as we know it had just been created. Because it was created in 325 AD at the Council of Nicaea. It's what it is. Yeah, and he's what it is. Yeah.

And he's revered as a saint because supposedly he did some miracles or whatever. He's known as Nicholas the Wonder Worker. He's the patron saint of merchants, repentant thieves, children, brewers, pawn makers. I mean, he's the patron saint of a lot of fucking shit. Yeah. I don't know which one of those But anyway His reputation kind of

Became Just kept growing And He had His whole thing was He The legend grew That he was just

This secret gift giver To children Right Which we found out It was the opposite originally It's like he used to Fucking throw kids in a sack, right? Yeah, St. Nicholas, that used to be the old myth that the parents would say, don't go out in the cold.

Don't go out this winter because St. Nicholas will grab you and put you in his bag and take you away. Right. So that was the model of Santa Claus is this reputation that grew that St. Nicholas, this Turkish fucking kid. Right. Who lived in the 300s AD used to secretly give kids gifts. So he didn't want credit for it, but he would just give kids gifts. And the Germanics, the Germanic peoples, the Dutch referred to it as Sinterklaas. Sinterklaas.

Sinterklaas. Yes. Which is, that's the Dutch For Saint Nicholas Right So that became Saint Nicholas became Santa Claus And it's based on

The Dutch Sinterklaas When you turn that Into American Santa Claus Santa Claus Just like Janis becomes Janis

Cause American's The proper way To fucking speak Yeah I just don't care To be honest with you It's like Yeah I know the tradition's Probably bullshit And and I know this and that, but it's

like, I just want to have a good time on Christmas. I want to bang out a few brews. I want to eat Aunt Janet's Chick-fil-A latini. I want to have some sweets from Rudy's Bakery in Ridgewood, and I just want to live my fucking life. I want to play with my remote control car, and I want to try to catch a blurt from my cousin. And that's just what it is.

Is that what you got for Christmas, is a remote control car as a man in his 30s? Is that what you got for Christmas? The remote control cars? Yeah, I posted a picture of it As a man in his 30s? Yeah Did you ask for that? No, my aunt just bought My aunt just bought remote control cars

For all the boys in the family Me included Yeah So it's pretty dope And I got a nice pair of New York Giants pajamas So what are you going to do with that thing? Got a nice New York Giants onesie What are you gonna do with that thing got nice New York Giants onesie? What are you gonna do with the remote control car you play with it? You know I mean I'll play when I don't have the baby

I'll just play with it. I got you know I got I got a fucking nice open floor pant floor plan in the living room So I'll just I'll race that thing around you know and I'll have a good time with it What are you gonna do man? You make the best of shit did Savannah give us the patreon people? Wow time with it. What are you going to do, man? You make the best of shit. Did Savannah give us the Patreon people? Not yet. Wow. So we don't even have the newest members of the matriarchy to fucking read out. Wow. That's fucked up. Yeah, we need to. Maybe we can look. I can look right here. You want to just read some Patreon

messages? I like to. Yeah. The Patreon messages are great. Sinterklaas. Are you still looking up Sinterklaas? No, I just wanted to say it because I like the way it sounds. Sinterklaas. This is a message from to say it because I like the way it sounds Sinterklaas This is a message from Murray Kirk On the Patreon, he says Tyrannical, plain and simp Had no choice, cuzzies

But to upgrade Because I fucking love these two cute kids So I've gone full tyrannical $25 member Yes Thank you, Murray Kirk. I just liked your post. Thank you.

You are a valued member of our Patreon, and we love when kids upgrade. Make no mistake, guys. You donating to our Patreon is what makes this podcast successful, what keeps it going, and that's just what it is nowadays. Yeah. You pay for what you want. You don't got to go through some fucking studio Or some network

You pay us directly and make us Two fucking rich kids Because make no mistake we're gonna lose that to hip hop Yeah and we're gonna start to do videos soon Yeah We're gonna start to do videos soon And like all you know our history docs and all that stuff We're gonna start to really pump that up in the Patreon

You'll see Alessandra Matone said, if Marisa leaves Patreon, I'll be sad, but make no mistake, that money will get moved over to the Bay Ridge Boys Patreon account and I will upgrade my subscription. Yeah.

She is a true blue fan of us and Marisa. She looks like a piece. She's definitely a fucking piece. Larry Jones said, make no mistake, I am a black kid that likes to slam a few brews and has a nice piece. Yeah. Yeah, Larry. Yo, Larry Jones. Yeah, no mistake, I am a black kid that likes to slam a few brews and has a nice piece. Yeah.

Yeah, Larry. Yo, Larry Jones. Yeah, because we read him. I remember we read him out last episode, and we talked about how you cannot get more of a black name than Larry Jones. Yeah, and then Nicodemus Papadoulas, which is just probably Giannis' fucking- Remember this kid? I remember. This is the Greekest kid of all time.

Yeah. He said, just a monthly reminder, the mad dog's mom was a toot. Might have been a piece. Yeah. Yo, cuz our fans are fucking hilarious. And I know you're going to skip over the Kristen teacher. No, I'm going to read Kristen teacher. Kristen teacher says, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to the Gentiles and Happy New Year to those who follow the artificial human construct of linear time. Big 2019 coming for the boys as yannis gets married and chris is now acknowledges his homosexuality need to get this matriarchy to 400 plus keep spreading the the word people and it's also going to big year 2019 is also going to be a big year for chris a teacher because this is your he's finally going to be convicted of a sex crime yes mary mora mora connie that's an irish fucking girl she says saw steel pipe chrissy at gotham Yes. Mary Mora. Mora Connie. That's an Irish fucking girl.

She says, saw Steelpipe Chrissy at Gotham. She goes, as a loyal history hyena listener, a new member of the Patreon, still waiting for a shout out. Guess how Irish I am. Make no mistake. My friend and I had a blast on Saturday night with her man, Steelpipe Chrissy. And my friend kept telling Chris to take his coat off while he was performing. He might be a little

Franks and Beans because I was sweating just sitting there and he wore the coat the whole time but we had a great time regardless. Make no mistake, Maury, you're a fucking Irish girl and you got zero fumes. You have no fumes and I did not take off my coat because make no mistake, I'm sensitive about my

butt. Cuz, you had a lot of Hyena fans come out to Gotham. How fucking dope was that? Thank you to all the fans that went and saw Chrissy D. Well, Reg, thank you. And also, here's one for Yanni P. People want to go see Yanni P at the DC loft. Regis Wells says, or Regis Wells says, I mean, it's R-E-G-I-S. Let's just call him Regi Wells.

Regis, cuz. Okay, Regi Regis Wells says, Yanni P takes DC. Great show at the loft. There were definitely more wasps than hyenas, but I think I may have recruited a few for the cackle. Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Wells. Cuz I didn't know when, you know, you were supposed to come with me to DC for that show.

We had no idea that it was, that was kind of a fun little cool hip venue. Yeah. I didn't really promote it. I didn't, I thought it was going to be like, cause you know, it was booked through Irwin. So I didn't know. He wasn't even was going to be like Because you know it was booked through Irwin So I didn't know he wasn't even there But it's a nice venue Please have me and Chrissy back We will go there we'll tour out DC We'll do a fucking live podcast

I just fell in love with that venue It's fucking cool it's kind of grimy And thank you to the Hyena fans who came out Came out to DC One crew of 10 black kids And speaking of that I just want to read the one more Patreon message from Lisa Johnson, who I went

wild for last week because she's a fucking piece. She wrote a message and it says, Reese's fucking piece is the caption, is the headline. And she said, wow. Read it in your black girl voice. In my black girl voice? Yeah, just do it. Wow, thanks for the shout out boy was that more

puerto rican do it you do it yeah thanks for the shout out boys and shit i'm truly flattered if i was single make no mistake chrissy d and i would never get any sleep not because we bang out bad but because we're both afraid of the dark and ghosts oh shit i'm kidding i'm only afraid of b&b's and bed and breakfast and homes built before 1950. True blue fact. We would also fight over the bed because we both have big asses. We would probably break up because I ate the last black and white cookie. It's just what it is. Or I got tired of him wearing my heels and walking around with a lot of puss.

I'd probably cough up bad, walk him up to Poughkeepsie. I have an extra nightlight and some sage if you're ever in Atlanta. Love the cast. Lisa, a.k.a. Reese's fucking Peace. P.S. ISIS has peace ps isis has bars pss i never sold candy when i played ball in school lisa i'm being 100 honest with you you are hilarious you're gorgeous and i fucking want to be in your life yeah and i want to marry you she is obviously a really hardcore fan so thank you for your service because her throwback to i want to walk him up to poughkeepsie, that's from early on in the cast. Yeah.

That means she's been listening for a while. Yeah, because that's when Chris is- Because you're supposed to die in Poughkeepsie, you fuck. Yeah. And then Kenneth said CBK, one name equals cute black kid. That's right, Kenneth. Kenneth is a CBK. Then we got Freddy Lopez.

He goes, not from Washington Heights. Close, Yanni. I'm actually from Denver, Colorado. Oh. Wow. I'm an accountant for one of the biggest trash companies in the nation. Trash companies in the nation. But I do love my mom.

Okay, Freddy Lopez. Wow. And then how about this person? I guess last year we were saying one of the new members of Patreon, Daniel Pena. It's actually a girl. It's Daniela. And it says, you guys are little Franks and Beans. True.

Make no mistake, if I ever had a sex change, that would be my name. But the A is my middle initial, Anthony, and my wife is definitely Peace. Okay, I don't know what you're talking.

Oh, your name is Daniel A. Pena and we were calling you Daniela and saying that you were Peace because we're just gay fucking kids. Yeah, then Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. Oh, let's call Dr. Harvey Spencer. We got to call Dr. Harvey Spencer.

That's what we do right now. Let's call him up. Let's call him up because we said we would and we didn't. And if he doesn't pick up, he's never getting another call again. And it's what it is. Let's call Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr., one of our esteemed $25 a month members. Listen, if we ruined your idea of what Christmas is and where it comes

from because you thought it was the birth of Jesus Christ we apologize but we are history hyenas we worship the truth here so make no mistake you're celebrating a pagan holiday mixed with Roman fucking drinking conditions it's what it is

Dr. Harvey Spencer on the line? Yeah, just pulling in. I'm just trying to talk to stall time as we look up. Yeah, because make no mistake, last week we fucking called Chris the teacher and we fucking put his name out on the podcast. Put his phone number out on the podcast. We did, right? It was the answering machine.

So when we wanted to leave a message, leave a message for. ISIS, you fucking wild. Luis Martinez says, Got it all wrong, cuz. I'm not Dominican. I'm just a good Mexican kid. But like your baby mama, I've been going white. Cuz make no mistake, I got proof I can be here for a while. But I need to make this shit permanent.

So I need an American piece. Luis Martinez Yeah He's not Dominican He's Mexican Yeah Thank you for your service, Luis We love you Fucking love you, cuz

Yeah Sofit Benjamin Make no mistake He says, I'm no gay kid But if I was in a room with a jar of Nutella And Chrissy's pseudo-tit Make no mistake I wouldn't hesitate.

So he would lick Nutella off your fucking tit. Safford Benjamin. I mean, this kid is a busy dentist. Let's give him another prank. I'll do it. What's his name again? Dr. Lee Harvey Oswald. Okay.

Is his number on the fucking podcast right now? No, that's the dental emergency. I'll say you contact directly. No, but don't let this number up there. Hi, Dr. Spencer. My name is Carol. I have a dental emergency. I've been

sucking a lot of dick recently. And I got some of it caught in my back molars. And there's just a piece of dick that I need to have removed. So is there like a dental surgery you could do to get all this dick out of my mouth? Because I'm a fucking cocksucker. Yeah.

This is strike two for you. This is Chris and Giannis we're calling you again thank you for your service Merry Christmas Happy Holidays this is our second prank call make no mistake this is the most unprofessional message you will get at your place of work absolutely and yeah

I sucked a guy's dick in Houston well please be available next time we call we love you we love you man You're one of our $25 members And we want to speak To you in person

We'll call you back Are there any other $25 members we need to call We got some new ones We got some new ones I can shout out right now How about this Oh I just got the shout outs

Oh yeah Give them to Chris Right now please Give them to me right now Give them to fucking Chris And are there any other $25 we can call right now Quickly

We should have this prepared before we start Huh How about that kid Clayton Yeah Do we owe a call to Chris the teacher And all those people I think Chris the teacher is the only one we didn't get to Do you guys want to call him back

Yeah let's just call him He's fucking one of our guys He's one of our guys I just feel like of our guys. He's one of our guys. I just feel like he's, you know, we talk to him all day, every day. Let's call him. Yeah, let's call the Sinterklaas. Let's call Chris the teacher and then let's call, yeah, and then whatever the next 25 is. You want to call Ann Eileen after that?

Yeah, let's call Ann Eileen. I just sent you guys a new Patreon shout out. Okay, well call Chris the teacher and while you get that ready, Chris will make a quick call to Ann Eileen. I just want you guys to do a new Patreon shout out. Okay. Well, call Chris the teacher. And while you get that ready, Chris will make a quick call to Aunt Eileen. Bring, bring, bring. Hello. Hey, Aunt Eileen.

I'm just calling to say thank you so much for Christmas. I really love Davina Schnitzel. Oh, hey, Christopher. It was nice to see you. And it was also nice that you brought your baby's mama. Listen, the salsa that was a little much, you know that me and your mother are devout Catholics. And

there was a little too much movement there for what me and your mother liked to do. Thank you so much for the pack of palm oils that you got me. Yeah, did you guys wind up seeing Uncle Russell? We did see Uncle Russell, but the problem is Uncle Russell and Aunt Jan have had a big problem for many years. And he just hasn't been back to Ridgewood.

There was a Christmas, I suspect, that he was up by the Ridgewood Bank staring down at us. And he wanted to look into the window because he missed us. Sort of like Oliver Twist looking through the window in A Christmas Carol. I'm not sure if I'm mixing up my stories. I'm a girl from Ridgewood. I didn't stop paying attention after 10th grade in high school and I married your Uncle Victor

and you know we had our problems. But you were always a good kid and I liked to feed you saltines when your mother was away working and you know she did that so she wouldn't be on welfare. Like your baby's mama's mother. But Chris, we're Catholic

girls and we forgive you for them. Chris, me and your mother, we definitely had a car. We went to Spartans. We went and had a couple Spartans. And we just want to say that we're happy that you have your own apartment and that you're living over there in Bay Ridge.

And we really do love Chad. We really do. Yeah. Yeah, we went and prayed over it. Me and Lynn went and prayed over it. We talked to Father Larry. And he says that, you know, all we have to do is just pray really hard,

and we can just feel the love that's just not there. Thanks, Annalena. I got to go. I got my friend from Houston here. Okay, boy, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette on the neutral staircase between mine and Lynn's house. That area is called the United Nations Line of Demarcation between mine and my sister's house. Bye, Chris, I love you. Hello.

Hey, what's up, Chris the Teacher? This is Detective Flanagan. We want to talk about the pictures you have of 16-year-old girls in your phone. How you doing, Chris the teacher? This is Aunt Eileen. Chris DiStefano? Yeah. Wild kid.

Wild. Can I ask you a question? What are you doing, cuz? Are you downstairs right now? Where are you? Yeah, I'm in my, oh, in your house? No, I'm in my basement. Oh, great. Oh, great.

Let me ask you a question, Chris the teacher. Is there anything more than you would love than to just lay in bed with Chris? I can't hear Giannis. Is that Giannis? Yeah. Yeah, it's Giannis. He was Aunt Eileen for a second, but now it's Giannis. Now I'm Giannis.

How does Chris... Feel bruised? Yeah. How does Chris's seat smell when you came in here and took a sniff of it? I got no fumes. No, never any fumes. How was Christmas, cuz? What'd you do?

I heard you got a couple calls from a few of the Matriarch members. Apologies! Yeah, we're sorry about that. But you know, Zach is a 23 year old kid. Make sure Zach blacks out the voicemails next time you guys make the phone call. Yeah, well, you know, Christmas was good. Christmas was good. I had a few

bruises, had a little anxiety attack with my mother-in-law, went to Burger King and went home. Yeah. Beautiful. You graded a few papers as well? I can't hear you, buddy. I can't hear you at all.

Did you grade a few papers? Nah, I haven't graded papers since like my third year, man. How do you do that then? You don't even read them. You just put a, like if it's a hot girl, you just put an A on there? No, you just let the student teachers grade them.

You got student teachers in high school? Yeah, man. But they're not high school students. They're college students. Did you ever bang one of them out? No. You're a didn't know that. Did you ever bang one of them out? No. You're a good kid, Chris.

Actually, I... How many... My wife... How many different sports do you coach? I coach two. Yeah. Yeah, you got a coach look. Like, you just...

You're a fucking involved kid, and that's what we like about you. You're married, right? You're married with kids? I just don't want to go home. Yeah. You're married with kids? Yeah, man. kids? I just don't want to go home. Yeah. You're married with kids? Yeah, man. I'm hanging out with my little guy right now.

Oh, you're the best. You're beautiful, man. Well, listen. Yeah. We have you on a Chris the Teacher time limit right now. Yeah, CTTT. Chris the Teacher time limit. Yeah.

But we love you. We're on? Yeah, we're calling your value $25, too. Cuz, you are the queen. This call is brutes. Yo, we have updated Patreon following. It's now at 371. No, 371. We need 29 more, and we get the famous remote in the pants photo from Chrissy D.

So everybody make sure you tell your people to start coughing up the money. And remember, if this number of followers drops as the months end, I'm coming to your house. Yeah. Cuz, you know what we're going to do? Yeah, yeah. I believe you, Cuz. And you don't want that. Yeah, you know what we're going to do?

We're going to get to that number, and then we're going to disable your Patreon and post a pic and then delete it, and you're never gonna see it. No, I'm kidding, cuz. I'll send it to you right now. I'll DM it to you. Dude, I've been moving furniture into ChrissyD's DMs. I can't get nothing back from Giannis. Yeah, no, he won't. Giannis won't respond.

Giannis is a paranoid fucking Greek Turk kid. Here's the thing. I was two blocks away from him on Christmas and paid him enough respect as to not go say hello. Yeah, now that wouldn't have been good, Chris the teacher. I wish you would have shown

up. That would have been hilarious. Yeah, but listen. For me and you and then Giannis puts one in my back. Yeah, that's what would have happened too. Yeah, but you're a valued member of our matriarchy We love your devotion And you just marketed for us Exactly

We get to 400 Patreons First of all, Hey Bird is going to put on the toupee Yep Secondly, Chris is going to send out the famous remote dick pic And then when we get to 1,000 Chris said that he will put a cucumber in his ass and lapoose through 3rd Avenue of Bay Ridge. And then if we get to 2,000, I will suck a dick live on camera.

And then if we get to 3,000, I'll get fucked in the ass live on camera. And then if we get to 4,000, I will decapitate myself. Wild. Make no mistake. Hey, Bert is out in Vegas right now trying to find dad. Yeah. All right, Krista Teacher. You're a good kid.

Thank you so much for your time. We have now reached the Krista Teacher time limit. We got to go. Love you guys. Bye. Thank you for the call. Thank you. He's a Long Island kid.

He's a Long Island kid. Thank you for the call. Thank you for the call. Holy shit. Do we have any more? Well, now we have. We finally got the Patreon members. Sorry if it was a little bit late.

Okay, so let me just read out quickly. The newest members are New Toots. And as you know, if you're not a member of the Patreon, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We'll read your name out. And as always, I'll read the names. And then Giannis guesses the ethnicity. Yeah.

Okay. Safet Benjamin. Safet Benjamin. Safet Benjamin. How you doing? My name is Safet Benjamin. My father was a rabbi. My mother, you know, she was in support of him and we had a very nice house and we have a kosher dolly

in which we are a very big part of the community. Okay. Anthony Jachetti. Let me tell you something. All right. Okay, Anthony Giacchetti, let me tell you something, alright? Now, my name is Anthony Giacchetti, and I've been in this business for 25 years, and those tiles that you're using, I'm telling you those are

fucking cheap tiles that you got from fucking Costco. You gotta use my family tiles. They come from Italy. Cause, make no mistake, Anthony Giacchetti still has an AOL email. All right, next one, Vincent Calderon. Vincent Calderon? He's a sergeant.

Cuz, he's a sergeant in the fucking U.S. Army, and make no mistake, the kid played AAA ball for some Baltimore team in Maryland. Chief Flocka 88. Wow, dude. Yo, bars. Bars. Chief Flocka 88. Wow, dude. Yo, boss. Boss. Chief Flocka 88 goes fucking wild for David Blaine. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Yo, yeah, you know what I mean? My name is Chief Flocka, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? All right, here we go. Next one. Kevin. Kevin Ferguson.

Wow. Yeah. Kevin Ferguson Wow Yeah Cuz I mean Cuz We're the BET of podcasts Yeah Kevin Ferguson That is a

Black kid Black kid That's a draft pick name right there Hell fucking yeah Oh Alexa Harvey Who's a Alexa Harvey is

White White Wasp Yes Snow White Esau Lopez By the way who's a piece. Alexa Harvey is white. White wasp. Yes. Snow white. Esau Lopez. By the way, is it hilarious that black kids call white girls snow bunnies? Yeah.

I mean, can we just take a second to appreciate how hilarious that is? Italians are one, blacks are two with comedy. Or maybe a 1A and 1B. They're both number one. They're both number one. Blacks and Italians are one. Number one. The two funniest cultures? Yeah. Blacks and Italians are number one. The two funniest cultures?

Yeah. Blacks and Italians. 100%. Isla Lopez. How you doing, Isla Lopez? Listen, I know you're trying to find somebody classy. Wait, is that a girl or a boy? I don't know.

Isla? Listen, E-S-A-U. And they have no picture. Maybe they're gender neutral. I think it's a gender neutral kid from Colombia. Yeah. It's a Zebi. Oh, yeah.

It's a Zebi. Look, it's a little Latino Zebi. A little Zebito. No, not Latino, because that would imply he's a male. Oh, yeah. Just Latin, but you can't say Latin, because that implies the patriarchy that went conquered down there. So let's just go gender neutral sound.

Gender neutral. A little Zebito. Yeah, sound. Luis Altuve. Wow, that kid plays for the Houston Astros. Yeah, Jose Altuve. Houston. And guess who else lives in Houston?

The guy I got to watch out for. Christian... He's a fucking Puerto Rican kid. Christian Esteban. Christian Esteban, que pasa mi gente? Let's be honest. Christian Esteban has tried to cross Let's be honest Christian Esteban Has tried to cross the border A few times

He's a Mexican kid He just didn't make it Cause he lives in San Antonio And make no mistake He has a He's a fan of the Spurs Yeah Christian Esteban Good kid

He probably pays his patron And pays us Maura Carney We've already read us. Maura Kearney. We've already read one from Maura Kearney. We know what she is. She's a good old fucking Irish girl. She's an Irish girl with no fumes. She's a girl that'll fight you.

Joseph Schmitkin. Joseph Schmitkin. This might be a German. I think we have somebody whose ancestors moved to Argentina in the 1940s to escape the Allies. And then he's the children of them who moved up into the United States and pretended like nothing happened. I think Joseph Schmichkin and then Safed Benjamin should be in a room one day and we'll see what happens. See what happens. And maybe we'll put Maxson Stubbins in.

Oh, Maxson Stubbins. Do I smell some black cock? Yes. Yeah. Beth Connelly. Stubbins and so. Oh, Maction Stubbins. Do I smell some black cock? Yes. Yeah. Beth Connelly. Beth Connelly is just a good fucking girl from Ridgewood who sucked Chrissy's D's dick in the back of St. Matthias. And it's just what it is.

She's got three fucking kids now and she's a kindergarten teacher and she drinks spotting with Lynn when she sees her and they talk about the old days and Lynn fucking loves her. And she looks like a piece. Anthony Mendez. Anthony Mendez is what you call a good Puerto Rican kid? Yeah. If Anthony Mendez doesn't box at least three to four times a week, I don't know what he's doing.

I don't know what's up or what's down. Delbert Mixon. Delbert Mixon? Holy shit. I don't know. Could that be? Delbert Mixon? Delbert Mixon? Holy shit. I don't know. Could that be? Delbert Mixon? That could be black.

I'm going to go Wasp. I'm going to go Wasp. Dilbert Mixon? Dilbert Mixon, Wasp. I'm going to go no jeans, no socks, father, pony. Addie Waters. A-D-D-I Waters. W-A-T-T-E-R-S.

That is a kid who make no... She's a $25 member! Wow. We gotta call her up! Yeah, let's call Addie. Let's get her number. We don't have her number yet. Okay, well you gotta give us your number, Addie, so we can give you a call and you look like a...

Addie definitely comes from a family that make no mistake, in the foyer in her parents' house, there is a portrait of the whole family with a dog now we got Miguel not your average 7 inch or piece Jerome blockhead uh oh and here's one of the first Patreon members

I think that we have of this descent Samantha Chin we got a Chinese I think that we have of this descent. Samantha Chin. We got a Chinese! Thank you for your service. Finally, we need more Chinese. We want more Chinese. Because Samantha Chin looks like a fucking piece. Samantha Chin could marry me

and bring peace to the... The Chinese would... During the summer months? Would be safe during the summer months if Samantha Chin marries me. Is she a piece? Can I see her? It's a little blurry, but she looks like a piece. They sent me this

bullshit screenshot because make no mistake, we're going to have to make some cuts and some people are going to start to get fired from our Patreon because we can do this work better. It's just what it is. You're unnoticed. You too, Zach. If you don't cackle out, we'll tell you to cackle out. We need more Chinese, though. We do. And thank you, Samantha Chin, for being a Chinese.

Yeah. Nathan Pinsker. Nathan Pinsker. That is a private school. Yeah. Yeah. Son of a father who is a CEO of an insurance company. He's just a white kid.

Yeah, make no mistake. When this kid was 17, he date-raped a girl and got out of it because his father's powerful. Without a doubt, he was on the swim team. 100%. Then we have Austin underscore Ireland, your mom's onion. And we know Austin Ireland because he sends me Snapchat videos of his gun in his glove compartment and then toots and bangs out. So I want to just say publicly

that I fucking do not respond to Austin's messages because they're crimes. But he's a valued member of our picture. Valued fucking member. Big fan. And he's a $25 member.

Do we have Austin's number? We got to get Austin. We all have to give the new $25. We got to get your guys' numbers, okay, because we got to call you. Richard Lewis. Fucking Richard Lewis.

He's a Jew. Jew. Great comedian, Richard Lewis. One of our... Thank you for being a member of our Patreon, Richard Lewis. We really appreciate that you're here, and we keep the cheeses and meats on separate plates. Now, here we go.

One name, Eric. We know what it is. Eric. Yeah, I mean, listen, son. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Then we got Joshua Gioelli.

Joshua Gioelli? Gioelli or Jelly. I mean, I really- Might be Jelly. Jelly, I really appreciate that nice, fine work that you had done to your house. I'm just saying that I could do it better. Yeah. And then we got-

My fucking Italian names are hilarious. Then we got Glue Gun. Glue Gun? Yeah, his name is Glue Gun. Oh. That's not Hebert. There you go. There we go.

Well, his ethnicity? Yeah. We don't know because his mom's a toot. His mom's a toot and his grandma's a Nazi. Yeah. So we don't know. We don't know, but his mom was a professional prostitute who made money from fucking strangers. Yeah.

And unfortunately, it damaged her son, and what, and yeah, and you know, and unfortunately it damaged her son, Hey Bert, that he's very insecure and doesn't know how to yes end and base girls on comedy, so it's not on the podcast anymore. It is what it is. We love Bert, he's our good friend. He's our good friend and he's finally back in Bay Ridge, so

unfortunately we have another child. And then last but not least, she looks like a piece, but she looks like she also has a picture of her boyfriend. It's too blurry, but her name is Brittany Sullivan. Brittany Sullivan. Yes. Fucking hot. She is a fucking cute girl, and let me tell you something.

She's girl power. She's totally into like, yeah, what are we doing Saturday night? It's Britney. We're going to the movies. We're going to the mall. Yes. Oh, my God. I love Chris DiStefano.

He's so fucking cute. Chris, the teacher, just sent me a DM. Call was so quiet. I thought you guys were just calling to say, hey, my bad. Call was brutes. Was it brutes? No, it was not brutes. It was fine.

I just liked it. Yeah. All right, boys and girls. Well, thank you. You know what your new nickname is? What? Chrissy's I'll Heart It and Move On. Yeah, that's all I do.

Chrissy I Heart It and Move On. I double tap. Yeah, it's I Heart Radio. I'm I Heart Chrissy. Yeah, I Heart Chrissy. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for being valuable members. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Well, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, Happy fucking Diwali, whatever you guys need me to say and do. We're just white kids that are good kids. And listen, join our matriarchy. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Happy New Year. Thank you so much, man. We're almost at a year.

When we hit a year, we're going to have a big show in New York City. And stick around for our bonus episode for Matrion-only members. It's going to be about New Year's. It's going to be about New Year's. It's going to be about New Year's. Go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys if you want to hear that. And as always, go to christycomedy.com or janispapas.net. Check out all our tour dates. We've got a lot of tour dates coming up.

I'm coming to fucking Denver, Seattle, Texas. I've got a lot of dates. Go to christycomedy. Texas. I got a lot of dates. Go to christycomedy.com. Check it out. As always, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I love cocking my ass. Bye. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.