History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 5 - The Battle Of Crete was WILD!

Episode Date: March 11, 2018

The Bay Ridge Boys, Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano, dive into World War II's Battle of Crete. Paratroopers, Pitchforks, Nazis and Nanas.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay. You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. Yes, those are the cackles. It's time for history. I'm Chris DiStefano, and with me is the Greek freak, Giannis Pappas. Freddy Fettichese. Freddy Fettichese. Of course, we have Bardo Church, a.k.a. White Wasp, and Zach Isisface in the studios. Our regular cast of characters.

Listen, cuzzy wuzzies, today we got a good one. And we got one that's near and dear to Giannis Pappas' heart. We're going to talk about the Battle of Crete. Wow. Yeah. This could basically, might as well just be a family episode. Seriously. That's how close this is to me.

I don't even know why, I'm not even going to fucking talk today. I mean, Giannis has got notes. You could basically just call this the Mama Laki's That was my maiden That's my mother's maiden That's her maiden name Mama Locky's Mama Locky's Yo you're left handed Yeah

You're gay I know If you're left handed you're gay 100% And no but you're ambidextrous though right So you mean You told me already I was bi yeah Yeah yeah yeah

I didn't realize that you were full blown left And you got nice handwriting too You're gay Yeah but I also got a cute butt too Yeah Yo every podcast we can't just talk about our butts. Yeah. Yo, if history was taught like this in school, there'd be a lot more kids enthusiastic about history.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't want this to become, like, people's go-to, though. They don't go to class. Still go to class. Yeah. But then, yo, this is the way you really consume it like a hyena. Like a history teacher in a school, we'll be precise. He'd be right all the time.

He wouldn't be fucking wild. Right. But that's a history teacher, a certified, legit history teacher. Right. What are we? We're fucking hyenas. We're hyenas. So we're savage about it.

We fucking chew the bone of history. Sometimes we're just wild. We attack it. And much like a hyena, what we eat and consume, we throw up. We throw it up. We throw it up because a lot of times sometimes it's wrong. We got a couple of tweets. We got one tweet from someone who told us we haven't said anything historically accurate.

Which is not true. Which is not true. I don't think we've said one thing wrong. I'll be accurate and say if that guy wants to come into the studio one day, fucking open invitation to come to the studio and then if I get everything right, if you don't find one mistake in anything I say, then you let me punch you in your fucking face.

Yeah, well. How about that? I bet you he just backed away from that tweet. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, you can, you know, I'm not a violent guy. Oh, I was getting amped up. I was like, yo, let's make that a segment on the show where we just invite people in and punch them in the face.

I'm not violent. Not in 2018. I can't be violent. It's bad enough I'm white. I can't fucking be violent, too. That is violent enough. Yeah, being white is bad enough. That's almost like a punch. Can't do it.

It's almost like a punch. Can't do it, cuz. Yeah. All right. So, Battle of Crete. So, first, let me just set the pre-stage of this all. First of all, Battle Creed happens in May of 1941. So,

World War II starts like 38, 39. Basically the beginning of tourist season in Greece now. Yeah. May. Germany and Hitler are fucking field goal kicking mainland Europe. I mean, they're just taking shits on everyone. They have not lost every country they invade,

they take over in days. You got the Luftwaffe, the Blitzkrieg, you know, fucking Hugo Boss uniforms marching in. You know, you got fucking, they got tight haircuts. They're marching in and they're being fucking scumbags and they're trying to take over the world because Adolf Hitler is a psychopath. So

what happens is, is they decide... Not to cut you off, but you know what I read last night? What? Some... Why is your voice low and deep like you're a sex phone operator right now? Because Bardo's got his hand in his pants and he wants to hit you in the face with his fucking wasp juice. Don't go low like that unless Bardo's fucking horny. What's up, people? The white wasp.

I was reading this psychologist yesterday. He said actually Hitler is more a narcissist, sociopath, but not psychopath. There's a difference. What was his reasoning for that? That's interesting. Because he felt like Hitler was very emotional. Okay. And that's more the trait of like a sociopath or a narcissist.

He was grandiose. Psychopaths are very like, they just can't, they don't have empathy, but they can have conscious emotion, conscious love. It's like reason, like I love you because you give me this, or you're intelligent so I love you. So psychopaths are not all bad dudes. And this dude was saying Hitler was probably not a psychopath based on his body of work. Right, right, right.

But he is saying Hitler was a bad dude. We're all on record saying Hitler's a bad dude. I mean fucking sociopaths, but what I learned is sociopaths a lot of times are worse. I didn't even know there was that much of a difference, but there's a fucking difference. Psychopaths are made. They're just born that way. I mean, psychopaths are born that way. Right.

Just like the frontal lobe and the amygdala is like 18% smaller. Yeah. And the frontal lobe don't light up. No empathy. No feelings. Right. Which is great for fucking fights with chicks Yeah

But Sociopaths are more nurture They're abused They're coming up And it's something that happens in the family And narcissists are just like comedians Right You're a narcissist

We all are I'm a narcissist wild Yeah I'm a wild fucking narcissist Yeah but you're a good kid I'm a good kid Everybody knows you're a good kid I'm not a bad kid

No So Okay so So Germany is just walking through. The Balkans are walking through. You know, they got Italy on their side. They're trying to take over North Africa with fucking Hamel and fucking Desert Fox. And they say, basically, they're like, look, what we got to do is Hitler's like, you know, he wants to invade Russia.

Everybody wants to invade. You know, Hitler wants to invade Russia. I mean, this guy's fucking getting greedy. He's got this bullshit pact with Stalin. It was basically like the Kobe and Jordan thing, probably. Probably. He was probably looking at Napoleon and saying, he didn't do it, Jordan. Yo.

And he's like, I'm Kobe. I'm going to get seven rings. Yeah, and a fucking Oscar. It's like, what more do you want to give Kobe Bryant? I know. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ gave Kobe Bryant everything. We talk about balance.

Yeah. Where's the balance with Kobe? It doesn't seem like he's balanced out anywhere. He also has- Because he's got everything that's- everything goes that guy's way, and I hate Kobe Bryant. We talk about balance. Where's the balance with Kobe? It doesn't seem like he's balanced out anywhere. Everything goes that guy's way and I hate Kobe Bryant. He's the only basketball player that's got one trophy for rape too. Good call. Jordan don't have one of those. That's true.

He got one of those up in Denver, no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was alleged, cuz. And how about Hollywood? I believe in our system. Hollywood, me too. It's a little hypocritical, no? A little? It's like fucking some guy says something to somebody in the office, they hashtag me

to him. It's like, Kobe maybe raped a chick. Yeah. And he was like getting a fucking standing ovation. Wild! Wild! I mean, I don't know. To be honest with you, I don't watch the Oscars.

I don't watch that like self-serving. I mean, it's all the self-love, self-serving bullshit. I can't. It's actually nauseating to to me it's i'm not the causes are not you know you give give you know but like give money do like i don't want to hear dude to be honest with you i don't give a fuck i don't give a shit what actors and actresses stand with the dreamers it's like yeah people should be allowed to stay in this country immigrants should be allowed to stay in this country you know who i do want to stand with the dreamers. It's like, yeah, people should be allowed to stay in this country. Immigrants should be allowed to stay in this country. You know who I do want to stay with the dreamers?

The fucking Congress. I don't care if, even on fans, I don't care if fucking some actor or actress tells me that they're staying with the dreamers and gets an applause break.

Shut up. Just shut up. You got a pretty face and you're good at pretending you're other people. That's all you can do. You're a psychopath. But Joe,

did we get insight? Because I get nauseous at the Oscars too. Yeah. Do you think we got insight into what Bardo feels when we walk in the room? Yes. That's the way he feels.

We feel watching the Oscars the way Bardo feels when he sees your face. Well, both of them. The White Wasp and Zach Isis' face. White Wasp fucking hates us because we're like- Trash. We represent trash. I mean, Isis just fucking, he hates the Western world. Yo, I would love to know what was swirling through his head when the two of them were just here

and he was looking at that beard. Oh, my God. Yo, that haircut makes you look even more radicalized. Yeah, but they're but they're at but they're they're kind of on the same side when they when they're in the room with us because they both equally hate us as much. It's like it's like it's kind of like Germany and Russia. They had that equal and Italy. They all want to take us down.

They want to take down the Western powers, but they individually hate each other. Yeah, they do. But they come together for a common goal, and that's trying to fucking knock out the Greeks. How dope would that be if wasps and fucking Muslims joined forces to kill all Greeks and trash Italians? Yeah, it'd be sick. That would be a fucking good fight, cuz. Yeah. I, uh, okay, so.

So Germany's fucking wiping, they're wiping the mainland. They're wiping his ass, he's fucking wiping his ass with most of Europe. Now, of course, there's a thousand reasons why, you know, Germany just had, they were a war machine. They were a true war machine. A lot of people always ask that question. machine a lot of people always ask that question how the fuck was germany a small country able to take over almost all of europe and the entire world because they were an actual war machine i mean they had it down they got their shit kicked out of them in world war one they got everything taken away from them so they just put their heads down and worked hard like yannis and i oh well

yannis you say most it's like that's why america is like we're getting fat we'll china's got their fucking head down and china's fucking they're working on their form. They're working on their physique. We're not. We think we're the champs ahead of the world, top of the world. And we're going to get punched in the face very soon. Yeah, Germany got into the gym after World War I. They took that championship loss very hard.

And they were like, we're coming back strong. But guess what? Fucking good guys, USA, we fucking saved the world again. Of course. I don't want to hear fucking anyone in that fucking continent of Europe complain ever. We should get free flights. Don't you think we should get free flights to Italy? To France?

Yeah. Free flights. We should get free flights to everywhere in Europe. You're goddamn right we should. Germany's still ours. I don't even know why. Why do I have to pay for a flight? Good call.

Why do I have to show a passport to go to Germany when we go for Oktoberfest? We fucking be. You're my country. You're my. We. It should belong to us. Yeah. I don't have to show.

You have to show a passport to me. I actually want to see your papers. We fucking civilized those snow monkeys. Those fucking snow monkeys. To borrow Mr. Pano's phrase. I can't hate it. I got a little German hate. I can't.

No, you don't like them. You don't like them and the Turks. I love. I love. Look, it's. Look, I don't have a problem with Turkish or German people. But when I start reading this it. I got a little German hate. No, you don't like them. You don't like them and the Turks. It's tough. I love, look, it's, look, I don't have a problem with Turkish or German people, but when I start reading this shit, the Greek fury, it comes up. Yeah, but see, the interesting part of you is that you hate the Germans, but you love

blonde puss. So, literally, where they create the blonde puss that you fucking get weak in the knees over is the country that you hate. So it's like, that's why you're a mystery, cuz. That's why you're a mystery. And I think you're a TBG, true blue gay. True blue gay. That's right.

That's what it is. Because I don't think you, you know, the women that you want, you can't have them. So you just go dudes. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. That's what I figured you out. I never put too much thought into that.

Yeah, I figured you out, cuz. Yeah. All right, so Germany's kicking the shit out of everybody. Yugoslavia and these countries, they just bow down to them. Well, no, but Yugoslavia put up a fight. They did put up a fight. I'm putting out respect to my Yugoslav boy. They put up a fight for about a week.

For a week? Week. That ain't bad, cuz. Yeah. Well, at first, they had a government that sided with Hitler. And they were going to let him roll through. But then the people of Yugoslavia

love freedom like the Greeks. They rose up. There was a coup. They got rid of that government. They said, no, we're going to fight these Nazis, cuz. Yeah, the Nazis tried to drop bombs. But they got beat bad. They got beat bad. The other Balkan countries bowed down quick. All these countries bowed down. Yeah.

Okay, so now Hitler's assuming that the Greeks are going to bow down. Yeah. But what happens? Well, he probably figured out because we like to bend over a little bit in ancient history. Yeah. Big bada-boo. Yeah. Take it in the shitter.

So, okay. So, let me just set one more thing and then Giannis is going to take over because this shit is fucking near and dear to Giannis. I take it over because we're a team. You going no no no but i want i want you to start telling you can start getting personal with shit which is fucking gay but what you need to do yeah but you want to know what this is a little awkward for us too cuz you want to know why it's a little awkward i'll tell you why it's a little fucking awkward yeah go ahead because you're italian yeah you're fucking italian yeah and you treat you guys tried to invade my homeland yeah and you

know what happened yeah you got beat bad and let me tell you something and to invade my homeland and you know what happened. You got beat bad. And let me tell you something and to me this is no coincidence. You heard we introduced a group and you know the one member who's missing? Mini Mussolini. He didn't want to show up today because he knows it's a bad time for his peeps and in a way

I kind of feel like Mini Mussolini aka Jim Serpico left me in the trenches taking grenades because I'm here to fucking face, you know, face the atrocities that my people did. And Mini Mussolini is on the fucking, he's in Nassau County right now, you know, at a Panera Bread. This may be why he didn't want to show up because today was going to be bad for him. Today was going to be brutes. Yeah. Okay.

So basically, Germany walks through everyone. They have faced absolutely no defeat yet. They took over the mainland of Greece. They walked through it. They walked through mainland, all the Greek isles they walked through

and now they got their eyes set on Crete. It's May. It's 1941. Mrs. Pappas, Giannis' mother is there. Mama Lachis. And Giannis is going to

tell you what she, now you're going to get a battle of Crete. You're going to get a Battle of Crete. You're going to get some Battle of Crete firsthand sightings, which is fucking wild. We've never had a firsthand sighting of anything we've talked about on this podcast because we only had three podcasts. My mother was there. Wow. She was a young girl with my aunt who was a teenager.

Was she cute? Your mom was a teenager? My mom was cute. No, was the teenager cute? What do you think? My aunt? Yeah. I mean, she was my aunt. I didn't look the teenager cute? What do you think? My aunt? Yeah. I mean, she was my aunt.

I didn't look at it that way. Because you think the German soldiers don't? I mean, I don't want to ask. I was actually thinking that today. I was hoping my mom didn't black it out, you know? Yeah. But I do have some cool personal stories about like, I mean, my mother saw Nazis. Yeah, I didn't mean to cut.

Go ahead. No, I mean, it's fucking wild. When you think about it, it's fucking wild. She looked at a Nazi the way I'm looking at you right now. She saw them in person. Does she remember them? She remembers it, like, clearly. Not anymore.

Now she's older. You know, she's got dementia, but she... Is that why when I met her, she tried to hit me with a frying pan? That's right. Wow. Because she had blonde hair. Had that look. Yeah, you had that look that maybe...

My dear. So anyway, we're going to back up. We're not even going to start with the invasion. We got to back up to why it happened. Yeah, we got to go back to Italy. I know you're trying to skip over it. I was trying to skip out. You're trying to skip over it.

I tried to set the stage without mentioning my boys. Look, and when I was doing a little research for this to brush up on it, and I saw a picture of the Nazi swastika hanging over the Parthenon, which is what they did to really put the final stamp on having mainland it made me fucking furious. Right. Fucking and it's wild because you know I'm American

but like it gets in your blood dude it's like I would have been fighting I would have been fighting just like the Greeks were it made me fucking furious. Yeah. So they took the mainland and they moved all the way down to the south. Now, Italy and Germany,

who were allies, had Malta. They had Malta, which is fucking, I don't know, they're their own people. They're kind of Italian. I don't know what they are.

Maltese people. Yeah. That's an island also across from Africa, which was also similar to Crete, a very strategic landmass that they could use

to launch an invasion of Egypt where the Brits were. That's what, yeah. Yeah, Brits had a stronghold in Egypt. So a lot of the Germans were thinking, look, we don't need Crete because we got Malta. So what are you doing? But this is where ego gets involved, cuz. All right, well, let me tell you real quick. So Hitler goes, look, we're going to take Crete.

Fuck, and we take Greece. I'm sorry. So let's back up. Before the Germans took Greece. Before the Germans took Greece. You back up one more time. I'm out of. I'm falling off.

No, you're backing up right at the top. But I got to go back to what happened. The Italian. Germany first sent the Italians. Yeah. He goes, yo, Moose. He goes, yo, Moose. This is a small job.

Right. You know, he treated him like a bitch a little bit. Of course. Yeah. I mean, Mussolini was a fucking clown Let's be honest He was a cock bad Oh my god

The ultimate cock So he's like look We're planning Barbarossa Operation Barbarossa I'm gonna go Kobe The invasion of Russia I'm gonna go get that championship

That eluded Jordan Right So we're gonna do that Why don't you handle These dirt kids over there Down there in Greece You know You guys are similar

Go fight with your people beat them up you're 10 ties the size of that country no big deal right right so Mussolini so Mussolini asks Metaxas

who's the prime minister at the time he goes yo we're gonna move through you know we need your bases we need your airports you know

is that cool don't say no cause we'll fuck you up yeah Metaxy famously Says Ahi Which is now a Greek holiday Ahi

Ahi Which is the Greek word for no Yeah So it's basically Fuck you Italy Which is a holiday now in Greece Where we just give the middle finger To Italians for one day

It's offensive Yeah It's on October 28th So next October 28th When you get a voice message from me It's gonna say Fuck you You piece of shit Italian

Fucking dirtbag. And then the next day will be cool. All right. But for one day, we hate Italians. So me and you can't get smoothies on October 28th. No, we can't smooth out on October 28th. You don't want to smooth out? No, we cannot smooth out.

And I'll tell you guys something about Metoxis. Metoxis? Metoxis. Metoxis. Was he well-liked or not really? Nah, he was. I mean, he pulled a move that fucking caused you guys to battle Crete. Yeah, now you're jumping ahead, but yeah.

Yeah. But he was a dictator. I mean, he was a dictator, but he sided with what became NATO. So he was, for these purposes, if you're American, you got to like the guy, you know? Right. So fucking, he says no, Italy invades Greece. What does Greece do? Small country, like one-tenth the size of Italy, beats the fuck out of Italy.

Bad. I'm talking bad. Bad. I'm talking fucking Floyd Money Mayweather fucking beat down. They got their heads rocked. I mean, bad. Got to beat them all the way back into Albania. They launched their invasion from Albania, and the Greeks pushed them all the way back in Albania.

So Hitler's going, what the fuck? Yeah. You dirty. Hitler, you know, like Bardo, thinking, I sent a fucking trash bag to go kill another trash bag. What do I expect? Hitler probably had some racist terms for Mussolini. He probably had some fucking wild names for the Italians. Germans aren't funny people.

Unfortunately, the Italians are the funniest group of white people. They are. Italians and blacks are the funniest people in the world. I funniest group Of white people They are Italians and blacks Are the funniest people In the world I don't think that's debatable That's true If Germans had any sense of humor

They would have some Fucking real good names For Mussolini Yeah they probably didn't though Which is a shame The Italians probably had Hilarious names for Hitler That we just don't know about

They probably did Yeah they probably did Yeah So Italy fails And Germany's like Oh god alright You want something done

You gotta do it yourself. Right. So the Nazis invade Greece, take it. Like you said- They take it relatively quickly. Quickly. They roll over the Balkans, except for Yugoslavia that puts up a weak fight. Salute to my fucking brothers over there.

Yes. Shout out fucking Belgrade. Shout out Marco Krivokopich, one of my best friends. Shout out Dan Popoff. There you go. Yeah. Shout out fucking Vladi Div There you go Yeah Shout out fucking Vladi Divac

Yeah shout out Shout out fucking Is Tony Kukoc from there? Tony Kukoc Shout out Tony Kukoc Yeah Tony Kukoc Yeah

Shout out all you sloths Shout out all you All you fucking sloth fucks Yeah So Good kids You're all good kids Good kids

Good dudes Yeah You were good So they put up a little bit of fight Which is cool And then Like I was We're back up to Malta

So it's Malta and Crete. They got Malta already. A lot of Germans say we don't need Crete. But this fucking general named Kurt Student. Kurt Student. In America, we call him Kurt Students. Kurt Students. Kurt Students.

But his name was Kurt Students. Kurt Students. He was a general in charge of these paratroopers. Okay. These elite two forces of German paratroopers. And he wanted them in the war bad. Okay. He wanted to prove how dope they were.

Right. So he pitched to Hitler. He goes, yo, Adolf, sup? Let's go get, let's sit down with some strudel. I got a plan for you, cuz. Yeah. So they sat down over strudel and he's like, yo, this is how we should do it. Massive airborne invasion.

Since the Royal Navy still controls the Mediterranean a lot. They're in Egypt. Right. The RAF is strong because, you know, let's go fucking, let's loof off these motherfuckers. Yeah. And drop bombs and then drop dudes. Yeah. It was raining fucking Germans.

It's raining men. Hallelujah. It was raining men in Crete. Yeah. It was raining, but not in the gay way. Hallelujah. It was raining men in Crete. Yeah. It was raining, but not in the gay way. And like, it's a lot of pain. There was probably a couple of gays, though, on Crete that were just looking to suck those dicks that came down, as Marisa would say.

Yo, there was probably a couple of gay dudes on Crete who were like, yeah. Yeah. They looked up at the sky and they were like, Jesus heard our prayers. Yeah. They said it in Greek, though. Yeah. And that's hilarious. And then, So he convinced

And Hitler reluctantly agreed And he goes Yo you got one day Like you better take this airfield There was three airfields they wanted The Rethymnon Heraklion And the other one

Star Wars What was it Malame Malame Malame Yeah So they wanted Malame They needed Malame

Bad Bad It was in the middle Well yeah And they needed the ones On the northern coast Yeah That's the ones they needed the ones on the northern coast. Yeah. That's the ones they needed.

Exactly. So he's like, yo, if you take that in a day, Kurt Student. Yeah. And he said, you need to take that in a day. If you take that, then if you don't take it, we're going to just retreat and leave Crete. So he wasn't even unsure of Crete. He kind of figured Malta was the spot where you need Crete. Yeah.

Too much of a struggle. Yeah. But he figured Crete would roll kind of figured Malta was the spot. We didn't need Crete. Too much of a struggle. But he figured Crete would roll over quick. But yo, Winston Church, one of my fave dudes. Good dude, Winston Church. My favorite quote of all time, Winston Churchill. Me too. What's your favorite Wendy Churchill quote? He said, after the Battle of Crete,

Winston Churchill famously said, from this point on, we will not say that the Greeks fight like heroes. We will say, heroes fight like Greeks. Wow. Fucking wild. That's a fucking wild quote for him to say. That's it.

That's what he said. That's a nice quote. Because that's how valiantly the Greeks fought. Here's my favorite Winston Churchill quote. Failure is not fatal. Success is not final. It's the power to continue that counts. That was real gay bad.

Yeah, that's what I do. I found that when I was giving a dude a rim job. That popped out. So, fucking Churchill had a good reconnaissance and he knew they had, you know, whatever. They broke those codes of the Germans. They knew the Germans were going to airily invade, which was

a big advantage. That's what helped a lot. So they knew what they were looking for. Still, they bombed the shit out of the germans they knew the germans were going to airily invade okay which was a big advantage that's what helped a lot so they knew what they were looking for right still they bombed the shit out of the place the loofah that's what they do they fucking drop bombs but um there was on the island of crete we had um a like 10 000 of the remaining greek army that had retreated there right they were trying to uh everyone to Egypt where the British had a stronghold. But Churchill's like, no, we're going to hold Crete at all costs. Yo, it's almost like Churchill fucking knew.

Like, we're going to, we need like a victory. Even if we lose, we need a pyrrhic victory. We need to really get the, he looked at this as a chance to boost the morale because Germany had not lost yet. Nothing. They hadn't even really been punched back yet.

Yeah, they were fucking undefeated, cuz. Yeah, and see, the problem, though, facing Crete at the time is most of the Greek army was stuck on the mainland, basically in prisoners of war camp. So they couldn't get there. So on the Greek, on Crete, I think you had a couple of, you had like 2,000 New Zealand troops. You had a couple of thousand British troops. A little more. And then you had, you did have about 10,000, I think you said, Cretan people. No, Greeks.

Evacuated Greeks. Yeah. Crete didn't really have an army. So those were Greeks. Those were Greek army. But Crete did, but the men and boys, which you'll get to in Crete. My people. Stood up and became their own army.

But what I mentioned about Metaxas, Metaxas or Metaxas? Metaxas. Metaxas, what he did before World War II started is he took all the guns off the island. Yeah, it's a wild island. So he took all the guns away from them. So if they would have had guns,

I think he would have won the Battle of Crete, but they basically had no guns, as Giannis will tell you, they had fucking pitchforks. Yeah, I mean, they had some guns. I don't know if they would have won it, but it could have helped. I mean, you know, fucking a lot of pro-gun people are going to be like, you see what happens? You take the fucking guns.

And then, well, it's a little more complicated than that. But that is a factor, according to some people. But, you know, you're going against the German machine. So, I mean, but they had guns. They had some weapons. Yeah. You had British, New Zealand, and Australian troops there. And then...

Commonwealth troops. Yeah, and most of them thought they were being evacuated to Egypt. They were exhausted. They were fighting the Nazis. They were on retreat. They lost the mainland. Fucking a lot of them hungry, exhausted. But Churchill says, no, keep them there.

You're not going back to Egypt. He sent all the wounded back to Egypt. And he kept the force there. And he put General Freiberg in charge. New Zealand, right? He gave him a call. Yeah, he was a New Zealand guy. Churchill gave him a call. A Kiwi.

He was smoking a stick, and he called up. He says, yo, dude, I know you're tired. Yeah. I know it's been fucking wild, but you're going to hold this fucking island at all costs. Yeah. And he said, look, you've got to win this thing. He said, because it's from my legacy. He said, one day, Gary Oldman's going to play me.

And he's going to win an Oscar. And then the newspapers are going to report that 25,000 years ago, Gary Oldman hit his wife in the face with a telephone. And that they should take the Oscar away and it's a travesty. So just know that if you don't win Crete, that's not going to happen. Right. Wow, you just saw into the future. Yeah, because you're fucking wild. That's how I roll out.

Yeah, so he said you're going to hold it. Now,'re fucking wild That's how I roll out Yeah so He said you're gonna hold it Now this dude Freiberg I mean he didn't know Anything about Crete He didn't know the terrain It's a rough terrain It's tyrannical over there

It's tyrannical over there dude It's mountainous Yeah Very mountainous You know It's like trying to take Afghanistan in some way Crete is huh

Yeah a lot of mountains A lot of mountain people And they're fucking wild up there I mean the word Cretan Is like People used to say like What are you a Cret yeah like it's like a creature cretin it has actually nothing to do with the island but it's it should because i don't know where that cretin things comes from zach could look it up but it's not actually the island of creed it comes from

something else but it should because cretins are fucking wild yeah they're basically zach would look it up but he's editing propaganda isis propaganda videos he's making pamphlets yeah he's running over to kinko's after this. Yeah, okay. Zach's looking for soft targets online. Yeah, the Greeks, the mainland Greeks, basically consider Cretans the same way that the mainland Italians consider Sicilians. Fucking wild.

Wild nut drops. Hyena, wild hyenas. Yeah. And they're just tough people and that's why we are hyenas because your moms are creating

and my dad's is selling that's what it is so we're fucking hyena blood and that's why to Bardo we are dirt

yeah that's why the white wasp we're really southern Italian not only are we from the countries he hates we're from the

assholes of the country he hates yeah the assholes of those countries so yeah so fucking Freiburg Freiburg sounds like a Yeah, the assholes of those countries. Ugh. So, yeah.

So, fucking Freiburg. Freiburg sounds like a, yeah. Freiburg, he's in charge. So, he's like, all right, I'll do this, right? Right. So, first day, freaking, what was it? May 20th. Yeah.

8 a.m. It starts, right? Fucking Luftwaffe comes over. Luftwaffe. Luftwaffe. How would you pronounce it? Luftwaffe. The Luftaffe comes over. Luftwaffe. Luftwaffe. How would you pronounce it? Luftwaffe. The Luftwaffe.

The Luftwaffe. That's what we'll say the way we say it. Yeah, that's how I've been reading it. I mean, I know it's Luftwaffe but I'm like, yeah, the fucking Luftwaffe. The Luftwaffe. Yeah, they come over

and they start bombing and then they coat the sky with these paratroopers. Which, by the way, people have never seen this before. No. Like, this is like

a brand new thing, right? This is the first aerial invasion in history. In history. First time it's ever happened where a conquering army came exclusively by air. Right. Fucking wild. Right. This is a big battle and a big turning point in the war.

And we'll explain why. Because they really couldn't come by sea because the British Navy was there. Yeah. So the only option was by air. Yeah. I mean, they could have fought it out with the British Navy, but they figured this is the clean, easy way, you know? Right, right, right.

Okay. So they made that decision. So they start trooping down. They start trooping down. They're paratrooping down, and they got plucked out of the sky. The terrain was tough for them. They were landing in weird places, but because Churchill had such good intelligence

on what was going to happen, they fucking just were killing them before they even landed. And the ones that did land, another thing the Germans had no idea was going to happen because no other civilian population had reacted this way. This was, I think, the first time in World War II

that the Nazis faced civilians like that. I don't think any civilian... Right. Germans were just used to people bowing down to them. Exactly. That's what it was. But they hadn't met the Cretans yet.

They hadn't met these Cretans yet. They haven't met my fucking family yet, cuz. They hadn't met fucking Mrs. Papa. No, not even Mrs. Papa. It was Mrs... Mama Lockie's. Mrs. Mama Lockie's. You saw how I am.

You see, you know how I am, cuz. Yeah. I mean, I'm a fucking... I'm a dictator, cuz. Absolutely. For freedom. I'm a fucking, I'm a dictator, cuz. Absolutely. For freedom. Absolutely dictated for freedom. I can't have anyone tell me what to do.

I mean, you just wanted to eat five slices of pizza before we came, you know? Yeah. You're going to talk shit on the Italians and eat all their pizza because you're a tyrant and you don't give a fuck, you have no feelings. Exactly. You're a narcissist. You're a psychopath. Yo, I-

You live life one way and that's fucking wild. That's fucking wild. I am not good with authority. Not at all. And that comes from somewhere. I believe it's in the DNA of people, and that's fucking wild. That's fucking wild. I am not good with authority. Not at all. And that comes from somewhere. I believe it's in the DNA of people, you know, these traits. It really is in some way. And the Cretans, the Nazis did not expect this type of uprising from the local populations.

I'm talking about women. I'm talking about kids. I'm talking about teenagers. I'm talking about 70-year-old dudes from the villages. They ran out into these fields with pitchforks, whatever weapons they had, and they fucking made shish kebabs out of these Germans. They were plucking them out of the sky. They took their fucking hoes and their pitchforks, and as they were coming down, they landed them right there on their assholes. Just made a shish kebab out of German soldiers.

Right, pitchfork to the fucking Anus. And they mutilated the corpses, which was a little bit of a mistake. And listen, because we'll tell you why. Because he was. We're going to tell you why. The next, if you want to hear the firsthand accounts of Yanis' mother's affair with a Nazi soldier. The Nazi soldier. Yeah.

Oh, my. If you want to hear, if you want to hear the truth that there's a, we actually have more poverty is in here. It's coming in for this next half hour because we think Giannis may be fucking have Nazi blood in him. We think his father may be a true nuts. You got to join our Patreon page, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys.

The next part of this podcast is only available on patron. Thank you so much to the people who listen on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts, riotcast.com for the first part of it. But this next part, we're going to get fucking wild and tell you not only what happened from Mrs. Poppins, Mrs. Malakas point of view, but also Mrs. Malakas, Mrs. Mama Malakas, Mama Malakis, Mrs. Mama Malakas, Malakas curse in Greece, which is hilarious. Yeah. It means the great masturbator.

The great masturbator's point of view. Also, the atrocity, because the Greeks stepped up and fought back, so the Nazis were going to pay them back bad. If you want to hear all that stuff, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. All right, Patreon people. You fucking know it. Now we're going to talk about Miss Poppus Mrs. Malakas Malakas

Mrs. Malakas's First hand experiences Of dirty Nazis Paratrooping into her town When she's a four year old girl Piece of shits Piece of fucking Garbage Nazis

And I just want to give a quick shout out Thank you guys If you're a part of our Cusmunity Thank you We love you We honor you. We salute you like we salute the Greek civilians and the farmers and the villagers that resisted this Nazi occupation.

I don't even want to say the word Nazi. Naki. Naki. The cockies. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Cuzz. So anyway. Or Cuzzette.

Or Cuzzettes. Yeah. Or Cuzzy Wuzzies. We don't know you personally. I like a kaziwazi better than kazi or kazette because a kaziwazi does not assume gender and it's 2018 and I don't assume gender. I like it too. It's what I do.

Yeah. That's the way. So gender neutrals. Yeah. Which are kaziwazis. Gender neutrals are kaziwazis. We salute you. Yeah.

So these Greek villagers came out and along with the New Zealand British troops And the Greek forces there Fought valiantly and resisted And in that first day The Germans lost like a couple thousand A couple thousand paratroopers And also I just want to fucking throw this in there too Just to really amplify

And put you there How we have Greek civilians No training With pitchforks and knives and rocks, fighting highly skilled, battle-trained Nazi soldiers who were on a chemical called pervertin, which is a mix of cocaine and fucking crystal meth. That's right. They were souped up Nazi ninja warriors on fucking drugs, fighting against Greek grandmas.

That's right. That's what it was yo that's wild that's the truth yeah yo the nazis were fucking high the whole time they were hot they were on i mean think about it they were on like crystal meth yeah fighting you know they were getting the greeks throwing feta cheese at them it's right how wild is that yo drugs are a big part of war soldiers are high part of war i mean it are high. Huge part of war. I mean, drug use goes all the way back to like Native America. They were fucking eating peyote and shit. You know, skin and heads.

You know, after all the history tours we've done and all these battles we're covering thus far, I was actually thinking that. I was like, what gives the guys the will to march forward into fucking oncoming fire? Drugs. And they got to be high. It's always drugs. just like it's what gives every great thinker the fucking, the theories that change their lives. They're on some fucking kind of drug-altering, mind-altering

drug substance. Most of them. Thomas Edison was coked up bad. Coked out bad. Sigmund Freud coked out bad. Albert Einstein. I don't know if he did it. I mean, look at his hair, cuz. Yeah, he must have been on something. He was on something, cuz. He looked fucking wild. He looked like John Brown. He did a little bit. Yo, he did it. I mean, look at his hair, cuz. Yeah, he must have been on something. He was on something, cuz. He looked fucking wild. He looked like John Brown.

He did a little bit. Yo, he did look like, he was wild there. He must have been on something. I saw him wild. We're going to do drugs. We're going to do history of drugs soon. Good. Thank you.

Yo, that's why there's so much for this podcast, because the world's been, people have been around for a while. We got a lot to cover. Long time. We got our hands full, to say the least. So, first day, Malamehame they tried to take malame they uh which was in an air an air base and they wanted it so they could um they could secure it and then reinforcements could safely land and they could take over the island they thought it was going

to be a cakewalk just to refresh a little bit and it wasn't these greek civilians coming out there they're mutilating bodies they're killing them. And the mutilating bodies was a mistake. Yeah. It was a mistake mutilating the bodies because when the general that took over

for students and the reason the general took over for students is because Hitler was like, yo, what the fuck, Kurt Students? Yeah. You said this was going to be easy.

So he removed students because he thought he wasn't doing a good enough job and the Germans were facing such losses he replaced them with this fucking dude named Ranke

however you say it in German we're saying it the American way Ranke and this dude when he finally won the battle of Crete which took 12 days let's put that into context for you how quick did they take over France?

Four days. The country of France was taken over. Your lost people, Bardo. Your fucking French name got taken over in four days. And look at this Greek fucking piece of shit. 12 days. We're talking about an island, not the country of Greece, which is small enough.

Look at Bardo's body language. He's getting negative. I'm telling you, dude, a lot of it has to do with the book. Bardo's got a French name. French aren't fighters, cuz. They haven't had a hit since Napoleon, cuz. They don't have. No, they don't.

I mean, look at this. I mean, you walk right through that. He doesn't want no part of it, cuz. Bardo's want it. No, he wants cheese. He wants wine. No, Bardo's going to send mercenaries to kill us like he always does. That's what the Wasps do.

That's what they do. They fucking pay guys like me. And I got to do your dirty work. That's right. Yeah. They never have the will. They never have the will of the people. Then I fall in love with one of your sisters and you fucking chop my head off. That's how it goes. Piece of shit.

Well, the Italians don't want to fight. Yeah, he's a good dude. Italians don't want to fight either. You guys are lovers cuz. Yeah, we love puss. You love puss, yeah. Yeah, we love puss. And the food's too good. You got too much to live for. Yeah, I want to fucking, I want to slurp fettuccine at a girl's asshole. I don't much to live for Yeah I want to fucking I want to slurp fettuccine Out of a girl's asshole I don't want to fight nobody

That's what Italians do We don't want to fight No We cruise for puss And we cruise for puss And garlic bread Yeah That's what we're cruising

You guys always want your hair To look good Yeah Yo I bet you I guarantee you The Italian army Had some cuties with booties Marching along

Who do you think Had the cutest guys In an army If you had to guess Of all the countries Italy Yeah right Italy's got do you think had the cutest guys in an army? If you had to guess, of all the countries Italy. Italy's got some cute dudes. Yeah, the cutest dudes?

Yeah, I think they got the cute. Who do you think? Slavs are good looking dudes too. Yeah, they're good looking dudes. I would say Italians, but I would say, yeah, them. Or, yo, honestly, man, Egyptians. I fucking like, I like a Middle Eastern look. I would say there's probably, yeah.

You like an exotic look, right? I like Zax people a little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like it. Sometimes look. I would say there's probably, yeah. You like an exotic look, right? I like Zax people a little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like it. Sometimes they got really nice eyes. Yeah, probably. Did Puerto Rico fight in the World War II? No, they weren't there.

They're the best looking people ever. They are. They're Puerto Rican. You can make a case. They're Latinos. Yeah, you can make a case Puerto Rican's the top. Brazilian girls too. Yeah, but everybody's got AIDS there, I heard.

That's the only problem. But AIDS don't matter anymore. AIDS, you take a pill, you're good. No, it's not even... You probably get... I mean, Magic Johnson is healthier. Yeah, exactly. It might be fucking good for your skin or some shit.

I'm more scared of bedbugs than I am AIDS. Yeah, same with me. I mean, AIDS are curing bedbugs. I'm like, I see a little piece of sock on your bed. I'm like, what the fuck is that? I'm out. Yeah, no one do it. So it took them 12 days.

12 days to take over Crete. Take over Crete. Take over an island, a little part of Greece. Yeah, right. So it took them 12 days to take over Crete. Take over an island, a little part of Greece. Yeah, right. So it took them 12 days. They finally turned it. But yo, so we're not telling you all the details. We're just telling you quickly it took 12 days.

But listen to the losses that the Germans suffered. They lost 350 aircraft. 350 aircraft were shot out of the sky. By Greek grandmothers. By Greek grandmothers. And you got to give a shout out to the fucking the Royal Air Force too. Absolutely. But they didn't have a lot.

Tom Hardy. Yeah, Tom Hardy did his thing. Tom Hardy did his thing. So 350. That is heavy prices. And we're talking about 6,000 Germans were killed. But German elite soldiers, battle hardened soldiers. And we're talking about 6,000 Germans were killed. 6,000. But German elite soldiers, battle-hardened soldiers.

Like, that's what. It's like, one thing is like you hear 6,000 German soldiers got killed in fucking combat. And this was combat. But, like, they weren't being killed by fucking 17-year-old boys who don't even have pubes yet. That's right. And they were expected only probably to lose. They were probably going, like, we're going to lose maybe nobody, maybe 50, maybe 100. They ended up losing 6,000.

The fighting was so fierce. And this actually, Chris, which is wild, is considered the fiercest fighting of World War II to that point. This was the fiercest battle of World War II till that fucking point. Well, let me shout out New Zealanders, Kiwis, Flight of the Conchords, all that good New Zealand shit, Lord of the Rings. Let me shout you out, and I'm going to shout you out for the Battle of Crete

because one of the fiercest fighting came, I forgot the exact location, but New Zealand, the New Zealand Army, or whatever they, I think it was the New Zealand Army, I'm sure they call themselves. Kiwis, I like when you call them Kiwis. Freiburg's boys, hand-to-hand combat.

They fought the Nazis hand-to- which that shit was barely happening in the Civil War. A hundred years before that, they were fighting them hand to hand. That's correct. Knocking Germans out. So it was fucking nuts. As a matter of fact, they only had a crew of 850 men. When Germany sent the intelligence, the Nazis sent the intelligence back to Hitler they said we were fighting

a force of at least 4,000 men that's right the fact was only 850 because the Kiwis and the fucking Greek grandmothers were literally

punching German Nazis in the face do you just hear what he said how wild is that this happened there was one battle it was fucking New Zealand they fought so fiercely

the Germans thought it was like three times the number of dudes. Yeah. Because that's how many dudes were getting fucking knocked the fuck out.

That's what happened. Dude, they were snuffing dudes. Absolutely. Yo, it was hand-to-hand combat. This was the first real battle of World War II happening in Crete. It was the first time

anyone resisted the Nazis. It was a real morale booster for the Brits. And it was such a pyrrhic victory for the Germans. They suffered so much. But on the other side, 17,000 Brits and Greeks were killed and 15,000 were captured. That's a lot of dudes.

Yeah. I mean, it's a W for Germany, but it was a costly W for Germany. And it was one of the – I think in a way it was a bit of a moral victory for the Greeks just because they were able to combat them so much. And it wasn't real, I mean it was technically a win, but it was like one of those wins where you're like shit, we like just got punched in the gut.

Exactly. Bad. So it, and as the podcast goes on, we're going to tell you why it kind of was the beginning of the end for the Nazis. Exactly. And that's what makes this so fucking wild. But back to the for the nazis exactly and that's what makes this so fucking wild but back to the mutilated corpses yeah that's what that's what bardo really wants now he's hard look bardo's hard yeah yeah the the now this is this speaks to the greek passion what greeks call the greek passion we're emotional people cuz yeah and so they went a little hard

they hated these invaders so much they mutilatedilated some of these corpses. They were a little cruel to them. Yeah, you can't do that. And when Ramke was who replaced Kurt's students, took the island and was marching through, marching to the other side to go fight some more, he saw some of these mutilated corpses. Right? There was already rumors that the Greeks were

fighting. They knew it. They knew the Greeks were fighting, but they didn't... What were they doing? What were they... I probably took the nuts off. I mean, probably a little asshole play. Yeah, probably took a dick, made a little spanakopita with their dicks. Yeah, you think some of them got served spanakopita with some fresh Nazi dick? Yeah, they probably did. Yeah, it happens.

Gus, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? It's fucking war. You know, it's wild. A few of them got fucked in the ass. You know what happened. Yeah, I mean, what are you going to do? What are you going to do?

You know what I mean? They're cretins. They mutilated some in the ass. You know what happened. I mean, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? You know what I mean? The Cretans. They mutilated some of the corpses. So this made Ramke really angry. And he committed to pay the Greek civilians back. And this is what makes the Battle of Crete so infamous is because the reprisals on the Greek civilians and villagers was brutal. There were multiple, multiple massacres. And we ended up talking about 2,000 civilian deaths in the first month of the occupation.

2,000 civilians. So let's put that into perspective. So now we're just fast-forwarding a little bit. So now we have German, obviously, there's no cliffhanger. German takes the island. Of course they take the island. And you know what's wild? A lot of dudes were trapped there because this is back in the 40s. There wasn't the internet and shit. And they were

evacuating people through Italy. They were evacuating the armies through Italy. Some of the New Zealand dudes, some of the British dudes, some dudes were trapped. They were just, because the boats left and they were trapped down. They had to hide. 15,000 people were trapped. They were just, because the boats left and they were trapped down. They were trapped there. They had to, you know, we're talking 15,000 people were captured. They had to hide out. And I know some soldiers, because I know that this all was happening in 1941.

I know in 1944, I believe, there was like a big uprising on Crete because there were actually New Zealand soldiers, British soldiers, some Greek soldiers that had hid for two, three years were being protected by the Cretan people. They were undetected by the Nazi army, and they caused an uprising a couple of years later trying to take the island back. But 2,000 civilians dying in the first month alone, you said? I mean, think about how fucking wild that is. Crete is not a big place. There's not that many places where people live. So just think of the sheer terror.

You're sitting in your house you get not even a knock on the door you get your door kicked down or just opened forcefully and you get taken out and murdered so you're living but you're kind of living dead you're dead

why don't you fucking turn your phone on silent before I fucking make you a cretin the first major massacre was Gondomari, I think was the name of the village. And it was actually documented by a German war journalist who took photos of it. And they found the negatives, right? They found the negatives, right? You can see the pictures on the internet. It's fucking brutal.

They lined up all the men, and that was their tactic. And I'll explain to you from my mother's stories what their tactics were. But what Chris is saying is basically the island was taken in 12 days, right? But the resistance in Crete continued for four years. They were hiding a lot of those soldiers. The soldiers met up with guerrillas. They hid in the mountains and they would use guerrilla warfare for the four years. And they would use guerrilla warfare for the four years, despite what the Germans were doing to them.

And the Germans would repay them with atrocities. They were trying to quell the rebellion, and they'd fucking kill people, and they were brutal. But the Greeks would not stop. The Cretans would not stop attacking for the whole four fucking years and uh because of that because of though because of the greeks constantly fighting against the nazi soldiers and constantly causing uprisings and just basically not take it in the ass like a lot of other countries did and by the way i don't i'm not shitting on other countries because i i just want to say just as i said in the civil war if i was alive during this time i would 100 take it in the ass and i would not be able to be tortured or probably even fight. I would just

be shot in the head immediately. I'd be fucking quick. You're a big kid, though. I'm a big kid, but you know I'm a TBG and I'm fucking scared of the dark. So a Nazi soldier, all they would have to do is say, look, if you don't do what I want you to do, I'm going to make you walk across that field in the dark and I'd start sucking some dicks. Because I don't

want to. Because being you You know what happened cuz Yeah we'd be Not to get on a tangent But yo I'd be on the Greek side You'd be on the Italian side You guys would invade me

Right And right away I'd be like what's up cuz Yeah And you'd be like what's up cuz I'd be like what are you doing cuz You'd be like I don't fucking know cuz Yeah

They got me I said nah cuz And you know I would manipulate you bad Yeah Get you on the Greeks First of all You'd be my intel guy That's what it'd be

You'd be my fucking intel guy Cause I'd give you Black and white cookies And puss So I control you now Yeah With fucking sweets And puss

And I'm fucking feeding you puss And I'm giving you good puss too Yeah but I gotta be honest I think you and I We'd meet up We'd be having such a good time That me and you both Would leave our countries

We'd go to Switzerland And just cruise for smoothies We would just be on neutral land Just fucking cruising for smoothies I think you're right Yeah that's what we do We'd both to Switzerland and just cruise for smoothies. We would just be on neutral land, just fucking cruising for smoothies. I think you're right, guys. That's what we do. We both bounce. Yeah, we'd both be out of there.

I couldn't leave my people. I couldn't do it. It's in me, guys. I'm Greek. I couldn't leave my people. But after the war, I'd get smooths with you, no doubt. Even though you were

an Italian piece of shit that invaded my country, I'm going to still smooth out with you. Yeah, I'm fucking getting... But one thing, and I know we're jumping a little bit all over the place, but there's just so much fascinating stuff. Yeah, I'm fucking getting... So, but one thing, and I know we're jumping a little bit all over the place, but there's just so much

fascinating stuff. One, the reason, you know, because the Greeks kept causing those uprisings, it made Hitler garrison like another 100,000 or some odd... He committed 100,000 troops

to hold that island. To hold that island, which would cause, which would prove extremely costly when they went to go invade Russia and they were lacking manpower. They could have freed up a bunch of soldiers from

Greece, but you couldn't because if you took those soldiers out of Greece, then Greece would just take their country back and Hitler wouldn't want to lose those. Yeah, we'll take the island back for sure. But to piggyback off what Chris said, most historians say that the Battle of Crete, and shout out to my Yugoslavian brothers, the resistance over there for about six, seven days combined set back the planning of Operation Barbarossa, which is what they called fucking their invasion of Russia, four to six weeks right into winter which is where those fucking German Nazi pieces of shit

froze to death in their walk up just like Napoleon. Which is where history and nature meets again and that's why if you had any fucking doubt that nature was an ally then no doubts anymore. You should cast no more doubts because nature gave

winter. Jesus Christ himself came down and blew winter onto the Nazis. How did the Nazis lose World War II? Mother Nature, really. Mother Nature. And Greeks. Hitler's ego. Yeah. And Mother Nature.

Mother Nature and fucking Greeks. Yeah. Cretans. Cretans. And that's why, in a way, we had said that the Battle of Crete was, like a lot of historians say, the actual turning point of World War II because of that delay. And even though the Greeks lost, it was crazy how you would think Germany versus Greek grandmothers, like, of course Germany's going to win. There's no – it's not even going to be a contest. Germany's going to win.

There's no, there's no, it's not even going to be a contest. But, to be honest, from the research that, that Giannis and I did, Greek didn't have to lose the battle,

the Battle of Crete. They could have actually won. It's just that the British generals, the British general, I'm forgetting his name. Wait, you're talking about Freiburg? No,

Freiburg was a New Zealand guy. Yeah, he was the head dude. So it was Freiburg then. They got information, they got information, they decoded some Nazi shit. And they got info, intel, that said they are going to be coming in to take Malamaha Air Base, whatever it was.

Malamay. Malamay Air Base. They were going to come in to take that and that it needs to be heavily defended. But he didn't believe it. Freiburg didn't believe it. And instead, he put the bulk of his force onto the sea, which nobody came by sea. It was a lightly defended airfield.

They took it. Within a couple of hours, they took it, and then they could get, once Germany got that, they had, I think, 30,000 of their mountain division waiting on the Greek mainland to come in, and they were basically stuck on the Greek mainland because they needed to get this airfield. They got the airfield, and that's how eventually they won the Battle of Crete, because then they on the Greek mainland because they needed to get this airfield. They got the airfield, and that's how eventually they won the Battle of Crete because then they could get all their army on

once they lost that airfield. And Hitler, himself being the egotistical fucking sociopath narcissist he is, said, I'm not going to be embarrassed by Greece, so if you can't take that airstrip in one day, then we're all leaving Greece and we're going to just move on. So if they would have just defended Malame, then they would have potentially, Greek would have probably won, had a victory.

But then, in the grand scheme of things, it may have been bad because then Hitler may have said, let's get out of Greece and go right to Russia and missed winter and beaten Russia. So in a way, the Greeks lost was the Allies win. And that's why, if you're a Greek today, I'm going to tap your balls. That's right. Yeah. That is right, dude. You today, I'm going to tap your balls. That's right.

Yeah. That is right, dude. I'm saving my ass. Little things like that. It's crazy. And even like you think about the ego of Kurt Stanton, that he wanted to get these boys in the fight and he wanted to prove to Hitler how dope these elite paratroopers were. And he wanted to make his reputation and get famous on this. Yeah.

You know, and he decided to do it that way as opposed to invading by the sea and the ground. They could have maybe taken it quicker that way. So there's all these factors that come into play. Yo, and you know what's wild, too? The Battle of Crete demoralized the Nazi troops so much that the generals and Hitler himself told incoming new Nazis coming into the war to never mention the Battle of Crete. It was forbidden. And if you

mention the Battle of Crete and you were found out, you were shot on sight by your Nazi superiors because it was so fucking demoralizing that it actually was told that it could not be spoken about. It's like you cannot say those words. And here's something even more fucking wild. What's even more wild than that?

Because of the Battle of Crete, now listen to me, cuzzies. I'm listening. And cuzziwuzzy's, because of the Battle of Crete, Hitler decided to never ever use paratroopers in an invasion again. Never. Which would have probably

come in handy in Russia, where you didn't have to fucking march up. But because of the Battle of Crete though whatever was left of those elite paratroop units right became infantrymen they marched he never again because he was so gun shy about what happened there he never did it again another big mistake caused by my fucking family and I'm'm proud. God damn it. Woo, baby. Woo. And see, and also,

they were saying, like, right after Crete happened and Hitler was, like, against using the paratrooper, guys, there was actually, because here's the truth. Here's the truth of fucking, of shit, okay?

In hindsight, obviously, you could be like, why the fuck would you ever be pro-Nazi? Iraq, Syria, some of these Middle Eastern countries, they actually had a lot of pro-Nazi uprisings around that time because nobody knew the atrocities of the Holocaust yet.

The Holocaust was happening for years during that time. Nobody knew. So in hindsight, of course, you'd be like, no chance I'd ever go with those fucking pigs. But during the time, the Middle East was saying,

no, we want to go with Hitler and them because we feel like they're giving us a better deal. And we don't want to be killed by them. And also, it's the Middle East. They hate the Jews. I mean, let's be honest. It's called spade to spade. Even though they didn't know about the Holocaust yet, they still know about that anti-Jew propaganda. Yeah.

anti-Jew propaganda. So with those divisions coming in, the British, when the pro-Nazis, the big thing over there was the Suez Canal. Everybody wanted the Suez Canal because it would be able to get your people through. You could get oil fields. It was a big, big, big thing. So when those pro-Nazi uprisings happened, Britain was able to quell them very, very easily because the Nazis wouldn't send in their paratroop division because Hitler didn't want to do it. But the generals at the time were saying, if we give us the paratroopers, we can get behind their lines and kill them.

And Hitler was like, no, they have been proven to be inadequate. We cannot use them. And then they fucking squashed the rebellions and took control of the Suez Canal. squashed the rebellions, and took control of the Suez Canal. And then, to be honest with you, cuz, and I know it's going to hurt because they're your enemy, but unfortunately you've got 25% of their DNA in you, and I can prove that through Ancestry.com that you're a Turk bad, and Turkey gave most of the Nazi war supply came through Turkey. And that's got to hurt you bad, cuz.

I fuck you. Well, not really, because I'm fucking Greek. I don't know. I mean, yeah, but your cells, you know what I mean? Your cells want to help a Nazi out. Fuck you, Turkey. And while we're at it, fuck really, because I'm fucking Greek. I don't know. I mean, yeah, but your cells, you know what I mean? Your cells want to help a Nazi out. Fuck you, Turkey. And while we're at it, fuck you, Bulgaria. Wow.

Because you sided with the fucking Nazis. Most of the oil came from there, and you were fucking just, you committed a lot of atrocities against the Greeks. Right. So fuck you, Bulgaria. Yeah. So it was fucking wild, cuz. Yeah.

It was a wild, wild wild thing and the atrocities continued and the occupation continued for four years obviously uh the duration of the war uh after ramke left the uh the head of the occupations went as follows this dude named Andrea. And then it was Bruno Brouwer. Fucking German name. Sounds like a soccer player. And then Friedrich Wilhelm Müller. Friedrich Müller.

Wilhelm Müller. Who they nicknamed the Butcher of Crete because Sounds like a nice guy. He's a fucking piece of shit. And he committed tons of atrocities.

Oh, really? He wasn't called the Butcher because he gave fucking seasoned meats to the how that's for the people oh actually bruno brew uh bruno brewer supposedly was pretty good dude he let he let go like a whole bunch of prisoners really and one of the prisoners he let he let go ended up becoming um prime minister of greece you know why because bruno italian name we're good people maybe yeah so uh but bruno he got fucking he he uh the cretans caught him too after the war too and he had to pay for other people's an Italian name. We're good people. Maybe. Yeah. So, but Bruno, he got fucking, he, the Cretans caught him too

after the war too and he had to pay for other people's atrocities because he obviously wasn't so bad but you just being an occupying force, you got to go down.

So we murdered a bunch of people afterwards. Kurt students, he didn't get killed, I don't think, but we, you were, you were killed.

Greeks were murdering Nazi soldiers. When did the Greeks start murdering Nazi soldiers? War crimes the Greeks start murdering Nazi soldiers? War crimes. After 1945. When it was over. War crimes.

The British caught them. The British captured them afterwards and gave them to Greece. Said, you guys do what you want. So we're not even talking about Nuremberg trials. We're talking about these guys had their own fucking trials in Greece. Greeks fucking took them down. Wow. Just like the Israelis did the same thing on a couple of those fucking pieces of shit.

I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes, you know? Yeah, I mean, you know, whatever it is, it is. So, you know, eye for an eye. You know, I would have done it myself. So a lot of them, I don't remember which ones got killed. I know for sure Mueller was killed by firing squad. What he used to do to the civilians, the Cretans did to him. And that's how Mueller died.

That actually sounds like the Greeks took it easy on him. I thought they would hang him or, you know his fucking you know yeah they should have but it was um and here's the thing cuz he's crete didn't even end up being they didn't do anything with crete it didn't even end up being important for the nazis so it was they had to hold the island with a hundred thousand troops because of the fierce resistance and it didn't end up even being important so it was just hitler's ego that wanted it it was just not even it was he thought it was gonna be he needed it but he didn't it was really the ego of kurt uh student who said we really need to take the island and hitler was like you're right you know and he's like reluctantly agreed well and boom let me ask

you did your mom does she remember any of the like Nazi soldiers being killed? Does she remember any of that? Because now she's four years older. Because it would happen when she was four when she's eight. She was older than four. So she was, say, five, six. Now she's 10 years old. Does she remember any Nazis being killed? She remembers a lot.

And these are where the stories get fucking wild. Yeah. What? Yeah. So let's hear some shit. Here's the story. Yeah. The Greek, my mother's from a village in Rethymno.

Here's the story. Yeah. The Greek, my mother's from a village in Rethymno. And the gorillas in Rethymno were notoriously, were famously resistant. Okay. They were resistant. My relatives, a lot of them died. There's a picture hanging.

It was hanging in my house my entire life. My mom's cousin, she said, he was the most handsome man I've ever seen in my life and he uh he was he disappeared they killed a lot of my relatives the nazis my personal fucking relative it makes my blood boil like your actual uncle my family cuz yeah my family like my mom's cousin first cousins yes they were fighting the nazis that's how cretans are and in fact you want to hear a quote from kurt student about yes what he said about greek civilians what did he say he said this is what he wrote back this is his words this wasn't an opinion this is what he said when they would what they would do is they'd line up the men their goal was to kill all the male populations of the villages so they would get rid of whatever

resistance there was right well okay but real quick but when you say goal like why i guess what i'm trying to have, if they had 100,000 some odd troops there, why wouldn't they just kill them all in one shot? Because the Cretans were hiding

and it's like mountainous terrain and they couldn't catch all of them? Is that what it was? Some bit of that and some bit of people are human, you don't want to kill innocent people, you know, it's like, and then you don't want

to go too hard because then you'll be a mass revolt, everyone will revolt against you, you know, there's a lot of, you got to like, you got a lot of politics involved in occupying a place,

you know? You want to be brutal, but just brutal enough, you know? So, but this is what Kurt Student him said, the fucking piece of shit.

The first guy there, he goes, this was his quote about, about the, the Greek civilians. He said, I have never seen such a defiance of death.

And there's a longer quote there. But what he meant by that is like these dudes, when they got lined up, looked straight into the eyes of the Nazis, had no fear in their fucking heart and died like fucking lions. Wow. Yeah. Didn't show any fear. Nothing. Died strong. Defiant.

Probably spit on them, too. Yeah. And that's what they did. So my mom, this is what the Germans would do as a tactic. Because when they were trying to move supplies and troops through the mountains, the guerrillas would pluck them off in the mountains, right? Right. Like you said, the British and New Zealand, Australian, whoever was left behind, organized with the guerrillas and they were part of the resistance.

Right. So they would pluck them off that way. So what the Germans did, because they were fucking maniacally brilliant and brutal, is they would take their plan was to get a well-known girl from the village. Okay. Who was approximately 13 to 16 or 17 years old. So young enough that it would, you know, but... And when you say get, you mean pry her from her family's arms in their house?

They would pry, they would take her. They would just come to the house and take her. Right. And I'll tell you, they came to my mother's house. The Nazis came to my mother's house. But what would they do with this 13... Yeah, so what they would do is they would put her up on a pole. They would put her up on a high pole in the middle of the convoy in the truck.

So all the gorillas would see her because they know that they knew her. Okay. Because the villages were the ones resisting. So if they were going through that village, they would take a girl from that village, innocent girl, put her up, and boom. And so they would move through. And the gorillas wouldn't shoot, obviously, because they knew they had one of the girls there. They were going to be shooting at one of their own.

Right. And it worked, obviously. And, of course, that girl would be raped and killed and tortured and all that stuff. I don't know about that. Not necessarily. Okay. Maybe. It was just a tactic to not, so they wouldn't shoot.

I'm sure a lot of that happened. These dudes are coked up in their own fucking crystal meth and stuff. But, you know, people are still people, you know? It's like there's rules to law and, like, a lot right but not necessarily no um like i said they want to be brutal but you don't want to fucking rape because then the everyone uprises against you you know i mean you got a lot of people who are scared and just want hey just don't fucking rock the boat you know like it is what it is they're more powerful than we are you know stockholm syndrome starts syndrome. Starts setting in two. So, my mom, my aunt was on the list. Now, my

mother's good family friend, rest his soul, Polizos Polizos, who I knew very well, who coincidentally, my mom and him ran into each other in Times Square years later. They had no idea. They grew up together.

They lost touch until they were in their 50s or whatever and just ran into each other in New York. Wow. They hadn't seen each other since the war. But he spoke German. So he worked for the Germans as a translator. And you knew this man? I knew this man. And he saved my aunt

from going up on this pole. This is something that happened in my family. So he spoke German. so he worked for them, and he saw the list. He had the list of the girls that they had culled that they were going to be using in a certain village. And my aunt's name was there. They had picked her out.

She's this age. We're going to use her. So he went and told my grandparents. He went and told his family, his family. They know each other from the village. So then the rebels came and hid my

aunt in the mountains where the Cretans just don't know how to navigate. You know, it's much like Afghanistan. I'm sorry, the Germans just don't know how to navigate. In the mountains, that's where they would hide. Right? So they took her and she was just gone and hiding in the mountains till the end of the fucking war. How did they live, though?

Just hunting and gathering and shit? Yeah, I mean, these people, too. You're talking about these people, Minoan civilization. The Cretans have been... Crete is the first civilization in Europe happened in Crete, the Minoan civilization. Wow. These people fucking know how to live, cuz. We eat sheep.

We eat goats. We eat feta. Yeah, that's what you feta We eat lambs We fish, the fishermen Cretans are big fishermen I love fish Yeah they fish big, bad So the German Nazis came to my

My mom remembers And she would explain to me She remembers the hard knock on the door And the Nazi soldiers came in And they went looking for her and they came into my mom's room and they pulled her sheet back. Right. And she remembers the flashlight on her.

And, um, there was a Greek translator there or whatever. And they're like, you're asking my grandparents where, and they're like, we don't know what you're talking about. You know,

she's gone. Maybe she's dead. They were asking about her sister. Like, we don't know, you know, she was killed. We have no idea.

We haven't seen her. And then they were like, how about this one? And, uh know she was killed we have no idea we haven't seen her and then they were like how about this one and uh the german was like no she's too little so again that speaks they didn't want to be too brutal and they also wanted the girl tall enough so people would see wow so your mom was too young could have easily been the woman on the pole yeah but this is too young and so they went around there's another story that's fucking crazy crazy right crazy and there's another story. That's fucking crazy. Crazy, right? Crazy. And there's another story that... So a fucking Nazi touched your mom? Yes. Like...

Yeah, well, pulled the sheets back at least. Yeah, but I mean, claiming... I don't know what she blacked out, but yeah, that's what she remembers. There's three stories she always told. That story. The other story was, mysteriously, every single day of the occupation the same nazi soldier would come to their house at the same time every day and you just let him in that's what you did back then you didn't you know they just let him in he'd go to one of the bedrooms he'd go to a room close the door he'd

be in there for a couple hours and then he would leave Every day What the fuck was he What could he have been doing I mean that's the family mystery Nobody knows What are some people's guesses I would like to find that I don't know I mean I wish there was a way to know You think he was a spy

I mean it sounds like He could have been a British spy He could have been a spy I mean what else was he doing He could have been setting up equipment Or he was just taking a nap Jerking off That could be it too Snoozing I mean he else was he doing it could have been setting up equipment or he was just taking a nap, jerking off snoozing

he didn't say anything my mom said he was never rude he was never mean to anyone he didn't say anything they kind of nodded at each other there was a language barrier he was a Nazi officer he would go and he did it every day

every fucking day at a certain time at some point they pretended they weren't home a lot. So he would knock and knock and knock and in those days he just would, you know, after a while they pretended they weren't home and he would go away but he would keep coming every day and fucking and that was another

story that happened. Wow. And then the third one is my mother would always cry when she told this story. She said she remembers the Nazis marching the Australian all the POWs, the British, Australian and New Zealand POWs down the street in Rethymnum and they were so hungry and starved.

She remembers one of the soldiers reached down in the market for like a peach and because he reached out, the Nazi soldiers with their butt of their guns just beat him to death. Beat him to death. Your mother's watched it happen. Watched it happen. Beat him to death on the sidewalk there. To death.

All the way till he died. They beat him all the way for reaching. Every time my mother told the story, she cried. Wow. Every time she told the story, she would fucking cry. Beat him to fucking death for reaching for a peach. But now

people have got problems with Apu. Yeah, exactly. And we forgot about this British dude, Wavell. I forget who this dude was. Wavell? He had something to do with everything. Well, Wavell, he was just like... He was British, right?

Yeah, he was British, but he was just the one... He was like the high, high command for that, you know. Right. For like, he was on the, you know, he was overseeing that whole thing, I think. I think you're right. But Churchill. Churchill put Freyberg. Freyberg, yeah.

But Freyberg in charge of like, kind of like, a little bit of like those, what were they, they were called the, we were calling them like the Dominican troops or something like that. I forgot what they called them. Wepa! No, Matt. Yeah, Dominican Republic didn't even fight in the war. No.

But, you know, Operation Mercury, however they pronounced it, was a very important battle. They called it Operation Mercury. It's now known in history as the Battle of Crete. There's a lot of great books on it. Kiriakopoulos wrote a book called 12 Days to Destiny, or was it 10 Days to Destiny? But it was actually 12 days it took to take the island. The official surrender

was June 1st. So it was from May 20th to June 1st. From May 20th, 8 a.m. around approximately, to June 1st there was fierce fighting. The most resistance the Nazis had faced after pretty much taking the whole fucking continent of Europe besides England.

This little island, this little island with fierce, proud people, mostly fishermen, mostly farmers, fought this war machine for 12 days and delayed the invasion into Russia four to six weeks. Again,

shout out to the Yugoslavs. Shout out Vladivostok. Shout him out. Crew coach, shout out. Yeah. It took them to game seven, cuz.

It was an eight seed, took a one to game seven. An eight seed, took a one seed to game seven. That's what it was. And that's what happened. So it was a very fascinating fucking battle, cuz.

Yeah, it was awesome. I think we can both say that the Battle of Crete was fucking wild. It was fucking wild. And like we said, turning point of World War II. Then, you know, it delayed everything for the Germans, for the germs. They invaded Russia, got their fucking asses whooped because of winter. And the Russians are just wild nutjobs. And yeah, then the Allies win the war.

And then the fucking Nazis got their heads blown off by the Greek Cretan people. And fucking Yanni Pappas' mom came to the United States because the Greeks could win. Allies met Yanni Pappas' pops at a fucking diner, I would imagine. Law school. Law school. Yeah. But same thing. Brooklyn Law School.

Yeah. It's just a more upscale diner. Yeah. And they fucking, you know, as in Greek tradition, you know, Greek just law school yeah it's just a more upscale you know more upscale diner yeah then they fucking you know they they you know as in greek tradition you know greek greek tradition they they met they they talked they said uh the same word at the same time which is a code for them to get married and have children her family gave my family uh a lamb and then they exchanged lambs yeah they slaughtered a lamb they slaughtered a lamb and then the blood of the lamb got into yannisnis' mom's vagina,

and Giannis was born. Yeah, that's exactly how it works. That's how Greek children are born. If the blood gets into the vaginal canal, then you get a baby. Yeah, you're fucking wild. And that's how Giannis is. Yeah. That's wild. That's Giannis' day.

But that's exactly how it happened. That's exactly, and that's an accurate story. And yo, this was a big morale booster for the brits too who were really the only ones fucking fighting these nazi pieces of shit and this this uh you know the the damage they did in that battle really was a morale booster for the brits as well yeah so ultimately boys and girls and uh others um and aliens that listen to this podcast because we know extraterrestrial life is real. That's the Battle of Crete. Please tweet at us.

Email us. What's the email again one more time? Historyhyenas at riotcast.com. Email us at historyhyenas at riotcast.com. If you've got anything to say, if you want to get involved in the conversation for the Battle of Crete, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We've got four episodes out now of patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We got four episodes out now of our web series, Bay Ridge Boys.

The last one, number four, Chris Mullen, the crew of 82. Chris Mullen himself saw the fucking episode. That's wild. It's one of my probably favorite things that's happened in my career. Like literally, that is better than selling it as a TV show for me.

Hell yeah. Chrissy Mullen fucking saw it. Check this out, cuz. He's Mitch Richmond, Hall of Famer. Yeah. And also fucking former, Mully's former teammate and friend.

Part of TMC. Part of TMC with Timmy Hardaway. Over in Golden State, commented on Chrissy D's photo on his Instagram saying, me and Mully were laughing about this last night and this morning. They were cracking up watching it, cuz.

Cracking up. And we got an insight into what they call Mully. So his real friends call him Mully. Cracking up. And we got an insight into what they call Molly. So his real friends call him Molly. So from now on, we'll call him Chrissy Molly. Chrissy Molly.

Chrissy Molly. And thank you to Mrs. Mullen, Miss Liz Mullen. She also watched it. Chrissy Mullen's wife. Mullen's wife. Thank you. Chris Mullen.

And we know it's Mullen, Mrs. Mullen. That was hilarious. I know, but I would never fucking correct her. So I was like, I said I apologize, Mrs. Mullen.

I meant no disrespect. And they're Catholic like you, cuz. Irish Catholic. Irish Catholic. Do you, do you, do you admit that you're Irish? I mean, you're a lot Irish. Well, I'm American first and foremost, but yeah, my mom's full blown Irish. Yeah.

So there's no German in there. No. There's zero German. No German. Like when we looked at the ancestry.com, there was no area there. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's not.

You were fucking potatoes up here and spaghetti downestry.com, there was no area there. You were fucking potatoes up here and spaghetti down here in Sicily, and that's it. But y'all, I'll tell you what, though. Speaking of Germans, nobody had a more Nazi haircut than Chris Mullen. He represents the Nazis. In the Hall of Fame, there's

nobody who's got more of a Nazi head than Chrissy Mulse. Yeah, I mean, he had a little bit of a flat top, dude. He had like a John Starks little mini flat top. No, his jumper was so money wet. I mean, literally, you can watch him on YouTube and be weep. You could weep. Yeah. You could start to tear up about how fucking wet he was.

Yeah. But yeah. So go check those out. Bay Ridge Boys. You can check it out on Patreon.com. You can check it out on mine or Giannis Pappas' Instagram or Facebook page. I'm at Chris D Comedy. Giannis Pappas' Instagram or Facebook page. I'm at Chris D Comedy.

Giannis Pappas, all one word. Yeah, and keep listening. History Hyenas, thank you so much. Keep the cackles going, people. ស្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye. Thank you.