History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 51 - Chrissy's Apartment is Wild!!

Episode Date: January 27, 2019

Due to family issues Yannis and Chris are live from Chrissys apartment for a wild time!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: πŸ™†πŸΌ...β€β™‚οΈπŸ•πŸ™†πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈChris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, websiteπŸ™†πŸ»β€β™‚οΈYannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, websiteπŸ•History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys. History Hyenas. Bad. Hyena. I'm a hyena. And what's my name? Hyena.
Starting point is 00:00:14 What's his name? Hyena. Say Hyenas. Hyenas. Hyenas. Hyena. No, no, no. What's up, everybody? Welcome to an episode of History Hyenas. My dad had to go to the hospital this week,
Starting point is 00:01:00 and Giannis' dad is always in the hospital, so we couldn't make it into the studio with Zach Isis so we're doing it for my... It smells a little better. Yeah, it smells a little better. We're doing it for my apartment and Giannis is eating an apple turnover right now and he's a hungry kid and he's very mad and before he starts to get
Starting point is 00:01:18 philosophical and want to blow his brains out, I just wanted to start the cast. It's been a hell of a hilarious week. You know, just a lot of great things happening. Chrissy's dad's head fell off. My dad's head had to get put back on, as usual, every week. I had to get my brother's tuxedo sizes. I mean, the kid is shaped like a pear.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Yeah, he's Franks and Beans. Well, he's shaped like a pear, and it's not easy to get. It bothers you when I say he's Franks and Beans. Because he's really Franks and Beats. Well, he's shaped like a pear, and it's not easy to get... It bothers you when I say he's Franks and Beats. Because he's really Franks and Beats. Yeah. So it's rude, but it's true. But the second part, the second name of this podcast is Hyena, so we just go. We just do it, and also we had...
Starting point is 00:01:57 Mad Dog's mom's a toot. It's just what it is, cuz. I have whooping cough now. i don't know maybe because i'm straight white male yeah deserve it you deserve it just like you deserve smallpox cuz let me tell you something i've had a week you had a day what i've had i've had a day and i've had a week and this is i just got a little taste of what yannis's every day has been like for the past 15 years. Pretty true. My dad, my dad. You didn't believe me, right?
Starting point is 00:02:28 You're like, ah, he's a complainer. Now you know it's coming. I told you to prepare because it's coming. A couple of days ago, my dad just couldn't really breathe. So my mom called me and was like, hey, we've got to take your dad to the hospital. He can't breathe. So they go in there. They're doing all the tests on him.
Starting point is 00:02:44 And they're like, listen, you know, we think your dad your dad to the hospital. He can't breathe. So they go in there, they're doing all the tests on him. And they're like, listen, you know, we think your dad has congestive heart failure. So obviously, you know, I was really upset. And, you know, cause you don't want to hear that, you know, cause somebody has congestive heart failure. It's like, they can live one year, they can live 10, but it's kind of like an end stage kind of disease. And so we're really upset.
Starting point is 00:03:02 And then they did a specific echocardiogram to like really look at his heart and they found that he doesn't have congestive heart failure what in fact happened is the night before he went to the hospital he ate 11 slices of peets and three buffalo wings and had a full two liter of coke and it backed up fluid onto his lungs and heart so much that it mimicked congestive heart failure my dad ate himself into what looked exactly like congestive heart failure. He's a fat ass. You see, but that's what they think.
Starting point is 00:03:30 They're theorizing, but the real reason is what we know and what we've been able to gather is what actually happened is he had a flashback to when Obama got elected into office, and so his heart went into fucking arrhythmia. Yes, what it is. And everybody came rushing to the hospital to be by my dad's side, except my mother. Because do you think Staten Island couldn't breathe for a couple minutes in 2008
Starting point is 00:03:58 when they found out Obama won? When Obama won, the whole island got congestive heart failure. I bet you the hospitals were fucking flooded with people who had fluid in their lungs. Yeah, they were like, we can't. We got to move to Canada. The entire island of Staten Island tried to move to Canada. Because I'm not. You have whooping cough.
Starting point is 00:04:15 I have whooping cough. I'm not a Trump supporter. I'm a cucked out liberal kid. You're a liberal kid, bad. And. Yeah, you look like Rachel Maddow. And last episode, I just want to say that I went back and listened to it, and I feel like ISIS was a little lazy on the Weishanxings.
Starting point is 00:04:31 What happened now? Well, I just think we all said a couple of really wild things. What did we say? The first one, I think I said something about the whites being in control. Weishanxing. Weishanxing. Weishanxing. And that was at the beginning of the episode. And, of course, I was control. Wei Shanxian. Wei Shanxian. Wei Shanxian. And that was at the beginning of the episode.
Starting point is 00:04:47 And, of course, I was joking. We're always joking. That's what we do professionally. And then, of course, we got to the famous Sandy's part. Yeah. And that deserved a few Wei Shanxians. Yeah, that deserved... Well, hell, we gave it a couple of Hail Marys
Starting point is 00:05:00 and were you there, my lords? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that needed a whole bunch of fucking thing. Thank God for Queen Elizabeth that she invented the Queen of England or else you wouldn't be able to sniff your lip and smell your fingers in front of people and not go to hell.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Yeah. You're a disgusting, big-headed kid. Because today we're going to be talking about Queen Elizabeth and it's a wild fucking episode because make no mistake, she was a wild child. But before we do that,
Starting point is 00:05:24 I just want to say thank you to all the toots and tootettes who watched my special Size 38 Waste on Comedy Central. You guys really made it special. And thank you so much for the retweets. And thank you for the people who have been sending videos of themselves singing, were you there when I crucified my lord? You guys are hilarious. And also the non-toots on Patreon. Yes. Who caught it when it aired and sent pictures and videos.
Starting point is 00:05:45 One, the winner. Remember we asked that you send a video of you having a pizza party watching fucking Big Buck Chris do his little skits. Yeah. And I think it was somebody named Britt something who sent. We'll shout them out. We'll get their name and shout them out. Yeah. Sent a photo of eating Pete's and fucking Linzatar.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Well, didn't somebody have Pete's, Brew's, and Toots? And Linzatar. And a Linzatar. A Pete's, a Brew, a Toot, and a Linzatar. No Toots, but they had Linzatar. Somebody posted a picture and it said Pete's, Brew's, and Toots. Because we should open up a bar and name it Pete's, Brew's, and Toots. You sure it wasn't that kid in fucking Maine who-
Starting point is 00:06:23 Austin, Ireland? Yeah. I don't know. That kid gets Toots all the time right yeah cuz listen the future is jabuki um look it's just what it's just what it is cuz rest in peace kevin barnett kevin barnett r.i.p if you're not familiar with his work google his work he's one of our close friends he passed away um yesterday um and uh it's just really hurt the new york city comedy community and the la comedy Google his work. He's one of our close friends. He passed away yesterday. And it's just really hurt the New York City comedy community and the L.A. comedy community big time because he was just such a good kid. First time I ever did television on MTV, the show called Philosophy in 2012. It was the first time he was doing it, too.
Starting point is 00:07:00 So we always bonded. And we also, we were Eskimo brothers on a couple of toots. You did, huh? Yeah, we banged on a couple of the same toots. Who'd you guys bang out? Well, I can't, you know, I mean, that's like
Starting point is 00:07:10 even a way Sean Chan can't help you with that because that's just automatic. You're done. Yeah, yeah. But I'll tell you off the air. Or if you go to patreon.com, we may allude to it.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Yeah, if we get kamikaze for the 2015 or $25 members, then yeah, those names will be spilled and Kevin will be laughing from heaven. Yeah, I think I banged a few toots that he banged as well. Do we ever bang? Do we ever bang? Do we ever overlap? Do we ever overlap?
Starting point is 00:07:34 What do you call those? Eskimo kisses? Yeah. I don't know because we'll talk about it on the Patreon. This part, my fiance is not going to enjoy this part of the toot. It's just what it on the Patreon. This part, my fiance's not going to enjoy this part of the tune. It's just what it is. Yeah. I mean, she's almost like becoming like in my brain, like our producer, like our censor,
Starting point is 00:07:51 who's like, is always looking out for our advertisers. Yeah. She's like the network. Yeah. Yeah. Who are you texting right now? Just another toot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Well, another one of your nicknames is Chrissy Toot Texter. Did somebody say that? No, I created it. CTT, right? Yeah. Chrissy Toot Textor. It's still Yas Queen Month Yas. I'm fucking so into Yas Queen Month that part of me wants to do a whole fucking Yas Queen year
Starting point is 00:08:20 and just go over every fucking queen in history in every continent every culture every fucking empowered strong beautiful woman who fucking ran shit and was a boss bitch yeah fuck yeah and no mistake elizabeth the first i had a gender aside one of my favorite people in history. Well, first of all, she had no fucking fumes. How do you know she was fume-less? Because she was red-headed and pale-skinned. And she just, you know, if you stuck your, it's cold up there. The only thing is, it gets a little rainy up there.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Right. So it could get a little musty. Yeah. Even like the second, the moment a redheaded pale woman comes to the earth, as the baby is holding her, as the doctor is holding the baby, taking her out of her mother's womb, the doctor goes, no, fumes. Yeah, I feel like fucking redheaded kids just come out of the womb smelling like an anthropology store. Yeah, cuz. Just smells like a scented candle. They're just fumeless kids. Cuz, your fucking dick has red hairs.
Starting point is 00:09:25 You could dress up your dick as Queen Elizabeth for Halloween. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, cuz. I have no fumes, but I do have warts. Cuz, she had red hair. Yeah. Famous red hair. There's a couple, like, famous portraits of her wearing that fucking... People used to dress wild.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Wild. Cuz, they used to look like jokers from Cards. I know, cuz. People used to dress wild. Wild. They used to look like jokers from Cards. I know, cuz. People used to have fucking, I mean, the men used to wear legit wigs and just powder themselves. Yeah. If I fucking rolled into your crib with white stockings, candy corn shoes, and some dead dude's hair on my head. Yeah. And I said, good day, my lord.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah. Would you fucking punch me in the fucking shave because i gotta be honest with you it wouldn't be any more wild than maurica i mean you wore you wore a woman's wig women's sandals and a muumuu dress and may believe you were transgender puerto rican and got millions of dollars we live in america yeah it's just kind of what it is. But people dress fucking wild. If you go back and look at portraits of her with those outfits on and the thing around her head, she looks like a peacock.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Well, let's say Queen Elizabeth was a fucking inbred. She was, right? Yeah, they're all inbred. She was King Henry VIII's what? Niece? She was King Henry VIII's daughter. Oh, she was King Henry VIII's what? Niece? She was King Henry VIII's daughter. Oh, she was King Henry VIII's daughter with... With that whore.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Yeah, with Anne Boleyn. Yeah. Anne of Boleyn. It was his daughter. I apologize. Yeah. And Anne of Boleyn was a piece. She probably was a fucking piece with no fumes.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Yeah, no fumes. And they said there's a lot of... Queen Elizabeth gets recognized in history as one of the greatest rulers of all time. And that's true because she kept the peace. But they also say she made a lot of last minute decisions. She was a little indecisive. But, you know, those are different historians kind of theorizing, trying to put their name on it. Probably some fucking white male patriarchy kind of fucking historians that are trying to just take away the Yas Queen.
Starting point is 00:11:22 male patriarchy kind of fucking historians that are trying to just take away the Yas Queen. Because listen, the facts are, she had a 44 year run, and it was fucking cute, and it was basically the Pax Romana, which is called the Roman Peace. It was fucking the Pax Romana for the English
Starting point is 00:11:37 Empire, and it's called the Elizabethan Era for a fucking reason, because it was two snaps and a Yas. Yas! It was fucking peaceful and good and fruitful. Yeah, it was, you know, Queen Elizabeth, Mary Queen of Scots, and Bloody
Starting point is 00:11:54 Mary, those weren't two dope queens, those were three dope queens. Yes. Yes. And I think we said in a previous episode, we're going to do four dope queens. Yes. Yes. Oh, we did. Doesn yes oh we did doesn't matter it doesn't because you have to stop coughing because it's starting to make me mad whooping cough cuz cuz you've just had you've had a mild cough for a while like a new person
Starting point is 00:12:16 now that i'm shaved yeah why does he shave and get a haircut what's going on it just got it got too thick and i still i feel like when gets too thick, I start to look like an Orthodox Jew. Yeah, because I have just had a fucking day. I want to talk about Queen Elizabeth, but I justβ€” This couch is too small. This couch is too small. We made a bad decision. I'm just going to have to get a new couch and new stools because, make no mistake, my couch is too small, and my stools are too Puerto Rican. Les Jeans Chien. Les Jeans Chien. Yeah, you got this fucking two-seater couch that fits his face because it's awkward.
Starting point is 00:12:50 But it just feels like we're fucking sitting in a car under the stars together. Yeah, it feels a little gay and I don't mind it. Cuz, you coined me perfectly. You described me to a fucking T. I fall in love with men. I have sex with women. It's what it is. I didn't coin that.
Starting point is 00:13:04 You did that. I'm in love with you, but I don't want to have sex with you. But I want I have sex with women It's what it is I didn't coin that You did that I'm in love with you But I don't want to have sex with you Yeah you don't But I want to have sex With your brother Cause We're gonna go fucking wild
Starting point is 00:13:13 At your wedding Yeah And uh It's gonna be Did you invite Mad Dog? He still hasn't got an invitation Oh cause it might have gone To his old address
Starting point is 00:13:22 Cause he just moved Into a five floor Yeah That he can barely afford Is what it is Hey Bert No he's doing good Oh, because it might have gone to his old address because he just moved into a five-floor. Yeah. Then he can barely afford. This is what it is. Hey, Bert. No, he's doing good. I love, no.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Are you kidding me? Mad Dog's killing it. And we will have him back on the podcast. Some people have been reaching out. Yeah, in a couple of years. Hey, hey, Bert. When is hey, Bert coming? Hey, Bert is coming back.
Starting point is 00:13:36 We're going to do a hey, Bert episode for the Patreon members. Yeah, we'll do a hey, Bert for the Patreon members. By the way, speaking of Patreon members, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Join the movement. Join the matriarchy. We're doing a lot of crazy shit over there. We are now at over 400 Patreons, and Chris the Teacher, our psychopathic
Starting point is 00:13:56 leader of the matriarchy, has said that there's... What needs to happen that we got to 400? What did we promise them? That I would send a picture of my piece? He wrote something, and I couldn't understand what exactly he was saying but you're supposed to give something i give something but you guys got to understand i can't legally post a picture of my piece yeah but you promised it so what that's legally binding to the people who are on our matriarchy so what are you gonna do they want to see the remote dick. Oh my god!
Starting point is 00:14:26 It's not your real dick. It's not my real dick, but I still feel like it's lewd and Patreon could fuck with us. Yeah, you can't do it. Chris, I love that you're a fan and we love you, but I'm not doing it, you fucking psycho!
Starting point is 00:14:42 It can't happen. It just can't happen. So you guys think of something else good you want to see Chrissy do, all right? Because you know what's a fun fact I learned about Queen Elizabeth? What? And what I really liked about her is that there was a rumor, because Queen Elizabeth never got married, because she would say anytime she had a suitable husband, she would say, I'm married to England. That's my husband. I'm married to England.
Starting point is 00:15:03 So there was rumors going around during her day that she was actually a man. And I just wanted to know if Queen Elizabeth turned out to actually be a man and you were in her court, would you bang it out? Only if she had tits and a piece. She had to have tits and a piece, right? If there's no tits, it's a little fucking weird. Because when was the first time that you realized you were attracted to... Gays? No, you were attracted to men with breasts.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Because that's... Let's just call a spade a spade. I'm very open to this podcast. Let's just be honest with the people. You've got to... This is your fucking... This should be on the Patreon. You're wilding out.
Starting point is 00:15:43 There's no Wei Zhangjin button. We may have to start over. Wei Zhangjin... Well, button We may have to start over I know where you're going Wei Xiang Jing, he's joking They're women They're beautiful women Yeah, but you did masturbate to trannies It's happened It's what it is
Starting point is 00:16:01 Listen This is for the patreon cuz yeah you mean they're they're women cuz listen a lot of them are beautiful i don't see gender if you look beautiful to me and feminine right you're gonna get banged out you're gonna get banged out you're gonna fucking get banged out cuz yeah i listen i I... I just, my sexuality is basically jail. Right. I'm a jail kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:29 So if we're lucky enough to have females around, that's a real treat. But I'll just go with what's around. And that's the first dude. We got to put this on the Patreon. No, because we're 15 minutes in. I know, but this is fucking, we need a legal team. Why? What are we doing wrong?
Starting point is 00:16:47 This is a sensitive issue in 2018. Ted, what? Did you jerk off to trannies? No, you can't even call them that either. Oh, God, I fucking hate it. I know, we're misgendering. Look, we're joking. Wei Shangxin, Wei Shangxin, Wei Shangxin.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Because we just, I know we try to say that we could do it, but we just can't do episodes on my phone because I just feel too loose. You do feel too loose. I need the studio to just keep some of the wildness in between the walls because right now, and I'm just not, I mean, we. You know what, though? We just turned this episode into a fucking bonus episode. So what you just witnessed was the first organic episode. This isn't even,
Starting point is 00:17:27 you kamikaze me with your personality. Yeah. So basically what happened is we started out trying to do a regular episode, but Chrissy just was about to call them guys with tits
Starting point is 00:17:39 and just fucking. So now that this is full Patreon, can I say what I want to say? Go for it. Welcome to the fourth rank! Oh, God, I'm kidding. I almost laughed so hard I just got lightheaded and passed out because I got whooping cough. You got whooping cough
Starting point is 00:17:56 because you're a fucking toot. And make no mistake, you fucking had on stockings and used to jerk off to trannies and you got caught by your fucking dumb nurse No I actually got caught But we don't know if we're repeating
Starting point is 00:18:13 Are we repeating material? I don't know, it doesn't matter Listen, it just doesn't I don't want to do it We're just going to have to tweet out Tell the people we can't do an episode this week I know, this has been a rough episode A rough week though Yeah, we are in the middle of a bonus to do we're just going to have to tweet out tell the people we can't do an episode this week this has been a rough episode but here a rough week though yeah we are in the middle of a bonus we
Starting point is 00:18:29 are going to be able to get at least this bonus up at least because let's be honest we only care about the patreon members if you're not if you're if you're a fucking toot and you're listening for free we don't care we need you on the patreon so you are really the most important people to us We should just start recording And based on how wild we get Is what we charge for the episode Yeah Like this is a $50 app By the time we're done
Starting point is 00:18:54 This could end up just being like Those rare pair of Jordans that are in a glass case At Flight Club You just have to be a rapper to get this episode Did you see Flagrant two's got their own jordans coming out did yeah it's we are just not doing anything right because we're but we yeah well you know what he had because he had they have a fucking indian kid and a black kid yeah we need to add an indian no we just have to start really just being more honest and letting the people know
Starting point is 00:19:18 that we're two trans fucking kids who are from india yeah, because listen, if you could be anyone else besides Whitney Houston? Would that be your number one? Because I was going to say, if you could be anyone else besides the white kid that you are from Ridgewood, who would it be? If she was still alive? You couldn't be a white guy. I'd want to be
Starting point is 00:19:43 Whitney Houston. Is that wild? Why? Because I just love her work. And she ends up doing crack, too. Yeah, and every time I hear her songs, I just imagine I'm Whitney Houston singing to the crowd. You do.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Is that wild that that's been going on in my head since I'm a kid and I've hung out with some tough, bad kids? Yeah, it is. And they had no idea that I was impersonating Whitney Houston in my own head. I was imagining, every time I was riding down the street with Fuzzy and he had like, you know, illegal guns and drugs in the car and he was selling them, we were listening to hard rap music.
Starting point is 00:20:13 I was just imagining myself as Whitney Houston. I was living in her skin. Yeah, you've lived your whole life. I can, I only, it's funny to me to think about how many times in a while you guys were just sitting around and you accidentally sat like a girl. Yeah. Because you thought you were alone.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yeah. And then you had to catch yourself and sit wide, like you were man spreading on the train. Yeah, that's why when you hit it on the, you hit it on the. Because when you're comfortable with me, you'll just climb up on that fucking kitchen counter like a goddamn Playboy buddy. Yeah. And sit like somebody's mom doing her taxes in the 80s. I sit like a Sphinx cat. Yeah, you sit like somebody's mom doing her taxes in the 80s i sit like a sphinx cat yeah you said like a fucking woman doing her taxes in the 70s yeah because because like you called it out because my mom used to sit like that while
Starting point is 00:20:53 she was doing her taxes on her bed when she was in her 60s because you caught you hit it hard this week when you said to me that the neutral staircase when i would go down by anne-aileen the reason why i was able to become who i become because Aunt Eileen caught my uncle judging cats, banging dudes in the ass, and was just able to accept it. Yeah, she said, your mother was a little, listen. Chrissy, let me. Chrissy. Chrissy, let me talk to you for a second.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Your mother's at work. She's always at work. That's a good woman you got there for a mother, right? I've known her since she was four years old. She's always at work. She's a good woman. You got there for a mother, right? I've known her since she was four years old. She's my youngest sister. I love her to death. Father, son, Holy Spirit, amen. Now listen, Chrissy, I've known since you were little. I've seen you playing with
Starting point is 00:21:35 your cousin's name. I see you guys playing. I know what's going on in there. I know. I know. I know what's going on in there, but listen. I've been to a lot with your Uncle Victor I've been to a lot with your Uncle Victor So I naturally
Starting point is 00:21:57 Am a little more understanding than your mother You know God bless her She's not working Somebody has to work Because your father's good for nothing She's always working God bless her. She's not working. Somebody has to work because your father's good for nothing. She's always working.
Starting point is 00:22:09 God bless her. I love my sister. Steak is for dinner tonight, by the way. And also there's a French, Stouffer's French bread pizza for you for lunch. And also Wise chips. And then there's an Arizona iced tea in my refrigerator. I drank half of it.
Starting point is 00:22:25 I got thirsty. But anyway, Chrissy, I've always known, and I want to tell you right now, because I've been through so much with you, Uncle Victor, it's opened my mind up to different types of, you know, pursuits and personalities. And I've been able to see from when you were a little boy that there was a little girl inside of you. So it's okay if you want to go do something gay
Starting point is 00:22:52 like acting or painting. I understand. That's what I'm saying. And I love you forever. Come here. Sleep in my bed if your mother has a date. Yeah! And cousin, she slips on her Mauritian shoes that smell like Newport Yeah I was gonna slip on my sneakers and have to run to the store
Starting point is 00:23:08 And go get some fucking bruise Cause make no mistake Uncle Victor killed a guy Who looked at me wrong yesterday Yeah We're gonna get a cease and desist from your own family Yeah that's what it is She looks like Rhea Perlman Cuz
Starting point is 00:23:24 Cuz we're wild a Pearlman. Cuz. Cuz we're wild. We're wild on the Patreon. Yeah, we go wild cuz. I'm texting Toots. Did you know when you were growing up that you were technically in part of the house that nobody owned? Look at this. It's just getting out of control now. She's not even hot.
Starting point is 00:23:43 She's just fat. Oh my god. She's not even hot. She's just fat. Oh, my God. Yeah. Chris constantly gets fucking texts from toots who send him unsolicited. You got an I want to bang that kid's head kind of head. Yeah. And so he gets unsolicited texts from toots. And he just got one. And there's no way for him to fix it.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you know when you were a little kid that. That I wanted to be Whitney Houston and suck a dick? Yeah. You were essentially sitting in a part of the house that nobody owned when you were on the staircase. Yeah. It was a neutral.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Yeah. Nobody owned that. No. Technically, Ann Eileen and your mother, that's nobody's property at that point. Yeah. Because they shared that. You grew up. Let let's be honest you're a working class white kid yeah who grew up in a shared home yeah because it was more affordable that way yeah the whole family lived in the house yeah let's make no mistake the mortgage still isn't paid off 30 years later it was only 35 000 house and that's only because i'll go back there and check house. And that's only because Uncle Victor and Tex love my life. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:24:45 And my dad too. But technically yeah, there's maybe the city owns the staircase. Maybe it's like a public park. It's a public park. The city owns the staircase.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Because you can come out and hang out on my staircase. I just want to make a fucking, I want to make a t-shirt of an outline of the staircase with Aunt Eileen in slippers smoking a cigarette on it.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Yeah. That's it. Cuz. Have you ever seen in a Catholic school outfit put your shoes on? Yeah. Because that's where
Starting point is 00:25:22 you got your shoes on, right? Yeah, that's where I put my, my shoes will always stay at the bottom of the stairs and they will put the mail on. Yeah. Because that's where you got your shoes on, right? Yeah, that's where I put my, my shoes will always stay at the bottom of the stairs and they would put the mail on the banister and the groceries, if any, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:30 when they would go food shopping, you know, a lot of times the bags would get crossed. I would have to help my mother up with the grocery bags and then Aunt Eileen would leave the groceries that got switched up
Starting point is 00:25:38 at the bottom of the stairs and I'd have to, and she would say, Christopher, come get the groceries. She, Aunt Eileen doesn't come to any shows though, really, though.
Starting point is 00:25:44 No, she's, she came to one show. She came to my, my hour special taping. Oh, she did come to that. Yeah, come get the groceries. Anne Eileen doesn't come to any shows, though, really, though. No, she came to one show. She came to my hour special taping. Oh, she did come to that. Yeah, she came. Yeah, you were raised by women. I was raised 100% by women. My dad was, you know, obviously always there and would come and visit me. And Uncle Victor was hammered.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Wait, let me go get here. Keep talking. Let me go get your food. Whoa! Yeah, Chris got a big butt because he just almost knocked the couch over. We will do an episode. We're doing the bonus in reverse this week. We are going to figure out a way to bang out an episode on Queen Elizabeth I.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Very exciting, interesting stuff. This is a bonus to that. So, Chrissy had a rough week. I'm in Canada right now up in, uh, Hamilton, Hamilton, Ontario, and, um, go watch his special again. And also tell your friends about how much fun you're having on the Patreon. Please do post it on your social media, post it, tell your friends, spread the word about how great these bonus episodes are all right we'll speak to you next time peace and love i want to bang a guy that's how you always
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