History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 56 - Jack Johnson was WILD!

Episode Date: February 17, 2019

The Hyenas go over the history of boxing legend Jack Johnson! And catch up on some phone calls. WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. What's up to the cackle, to the toots, and non-toots on a Thursday. We love each and every one of you. Guess who it is? It is Chrissy Nine Slices and Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Papas. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for your service.

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Yeah. You know? And so this episode, because it's Black History Month and last month, January, was fucking Power Woman's Month. Yeah, it's Queen Month. This month, January, was fucking Power Woman's month. Yeah, it's Queen month. This month, Black History Month. So we decided to kick it off with a fucking wild story about a wild child, the first black heavyweight boxing champion of all time, Jack Johnson. I mean, Jack Johnson is one of the wildest kids.

Yeah, first of all, he's fucking Jack. The kid was Jack before they had juice. Were you getting a little horned up watching that documentary? No, I was not getting horned up watching it. Okay, that was just me then. Because Jack Johnson looks a little like Hannibal Buress. He looks a little bit like Hannibal Buress. If Hannibal Buress was athletic, he's Jack.

If Hannibal Buress even thought about exercising ever. Because Hannibal Buress looks like a sack of potatoes. He looks like Mike Suarez a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Mikey Suarez. Because you look like Hannibal if Hannibal was Mexican. Yeah.

Because Jack Johnson is one of the wildest histories, one of the wildest people in history. When you hear his story, when you watch footage of him, you almost get the feeling like he lived outside of history. Like once in a while you have these individuals in history who just seem like they don't live in the time that they live. And those are the people, like we've said many times before, that seem to propel history forward. Who push it forward because they're kind of visionary. Because they don't accept the norms of their time. Because they break through barriers.

And then thus they make it easier for people who come after them. Because make no mistake, he was doing shit at his time that as an African American kid you just do not do. He was banging white women. Openly. Openly banging white women. He was driving all the fanciest cars. He had the top fashion. He was openly challenging the white heavyweight champions and the white champions in the box community,

which at that time was a early 1900s uh yeah early 1900s was whoever the white guy was whoever sullivan in this whoever could beat right whoever could beat all the white guys that was the champion even though a lot of the black boxers were far far far better than the white boxers it was just understood it was just respected at that time that only only the white boxers could be champions. But then Jack Johnson came along and he changed that. He changed it in a big way. You have to really put yourself in the time.

We're talking beginning of the 20th century. Yeah. You know, early 1900s. Slavery was, I mean, we're talking at that point. There were people who were alive and still well, still cognitively all there that owned slaves. Because it was 35 years before 1900. 1865. Is when he was born.

No, I'm saying 1865 was the end of the fucking Civil War. Right. So the actual war ended only 35 years before 1900. This kid started boxing around that time. So it's like, we're not talking about racism or Jim Crow, which was another form of fucking slavery. People, like you said, people who fought in the Civil War were still pretty young people. They were in their 50s. They were in their 50s, walking were in their 50s. Yeah.

Walking around. Jack Johnson. With the same opinions. Of course. Yeah. I mean, America had the same opinions. Yeah. I mean, lynchings were just part of what was happening.

I think I remember when we did research for this, hearing some stat, and ISIS can double check it. At the time that he was married to his first wife, the guy had many white wives, which is wild. Yeah, white wives. Most of them were toots. Like literal toots. Like true prostitutes. He would just marry a prostitute. That's how wild Jack Johnson was. Yeah, he would marry prostitutes. He really had an affinity for them. But at the time, I think

of his first white wife or something, if I remember correctly, there was something like a thousand something lynchings in America that were reported, tracked. Right. Like 800 of them or like an overwhelming majority of them were black kids who got hanged, lynched, who got lynched. Right. And these fucking mob lynchings.

Can you imagine we were living in a country where there was just like vigilante justice like that right where dudes would just get lynched yeah like without not police you know it's no law just like a mob would come and lynch people yeah and black people had to live in constant fear of that you know we were talking before um i think it was on another episode we talked about it but it bears repeating because of what we're talking about now we were talking about how like it's an old Patrice O'Neill thing that I heard him say which is wild

it makes me think of Jack Johnson it's like Patrice O'Neill I think once said like he's like it's a weird thing he's like you know you force black people to come here in chains

you know brutal enslaved us fucking murdered us raped us you know forced us to enslaved us, fucking murdered us, raped us, you know, forced us to work in ungodly conditions, et cetera, et cetera. And you hate me?

Yeah. It's kind of wild when you think about it. It's wild, yeah. You hate me? They really hate themselves. I mean, what the fuck, man? Yeah. I mean.

And, you know, with Jack Johnson, you know, first of all, he was born in Galveston, Texas, so it was like he was from the south. He was from a place where people fucking hated him. Just simply what he looked like. So the way he first of all, a lot of he learned how to fight. It's brutal thing that used to happen is white men would get like 10 black kids and blindfold them and just have them fight. And they would fight. And whoever was the last kid standing would get like a fistful of coins.

They'd get like five cents, and Jack Johnson was a lot of times the last kid standing. So he was able to beat the shit out of people blindfolded and kind of just grew up really fighting to survive, fighting to make a living. So when he started to get pitted up against these white boxers, forget about the champions, like just the challengers, I mean, it would be complete child's play. There's a story of one guy.

I think his name was Tommy Burns. He was from Ireland. And he went to get – it was kind of like – not that it was a script in boxing, but it was understood like, hey, I'm fighting Jack Johnson because he became like a celebrity fighter. I'm fighting Jack Johnson like it's going to go 15 rounds you know people want I could kill you in two rounds Tommy I could kill anybody in two rounds but they would film boxing

matches like movies and they would be full movies so people want to see 15 18 hopefully 20 rounds of boxing to get a good you know picture a good movie that you know have people place bets all that so it was like understood a good you know picture a good movie that you know have people place bets all that so it was like understood like hey you know don't hit me too hard you know i'm just toying with you and then the 15 16 round will really fight and one time this guy tommy burns like just got gassed up

and just was like took a real swing at jack johnson way early and connected and knocked jack johnson down and then literally three seconds later, he knocked Tommy Burns unconscious in the middle of the ring. So he could just do that whenever he wanted to. Yeah. He was just superior, like Chris said. Yeah, he was so superior, it almost made you think maybe he was born in Munich.

Thank you. It was a little delayed, and that makes me nervous. I was just kidding. Yeah, I think he's just getting numb to us now. Yeah. I think ISIS is just getting so numb to the horror that comes out of our mouth that he can't even tell what a Wei Shangxian is anymore. It's funny.

I hope that the people listening will hear us say something wild and then out loud in their cars or in their homes go, Wei Shangxian. I hope that they say it out loud. I bet you they do. Right on our Patreon wall. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys

right on the community board and tell us if you say Weishan Xian out loud in your car or home when you're listening to our podcast. Yeah. Just a fact check.

The year he was married to his first white wife there was actually 64 reported lynchings. Wow. That's way too many lynchings. In the country? No, in the country,ings. Wow. That's way too many lynchings. Wait, in the country? No, in the country, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I remember the documentary saying a lot more. So maybe it was before that. Maybe it was just like before. Johnson's first wife was black, though. But even then, how many were black lynchings of those numbers? Got to be- 60, right?

So it's like brutal. It's like almost all of them. Yeah. Jack Johnson also lived in an all-white neighborhood. Like he... Oh yeah. After he got famous, yeah. Yeah, he didn't live like in like a black part of town. He lived with white people.

Yeah, I mean, so that Chrissy just told you how he got his start. He got his start with these horrible things. What are those called? Can you look that up, Bices? It had a name that they would do these fights in the dark where they black kids, these black kids would fight and the last one standing would win the money.

They did that in the South. I remember in one of the documentaries we were watching, we actually heard the name. I'd like to know the name just because it's a fascinatingly horrible thing. That's how he started. Jack Johnson was just good at it. He realized he was tough. And then this boxing kid, this Irishish kid came and trained with him a little bit in galveston right um and they both got arrested for staging illegal matches this

boxing was kind of in its infancy and and jack johnson was kind of like he made it but the first guy that really put it on the map was this guy john sullivan and he was like the heavyweight champion of the world and he was he was really like the babe ruth of boxing and uh he made it what it is he had a personality and blah blah blah and he he was actually the first heavyweight champion right in america was john sullivan when boxing started to really uh become a unified sport. He was like a huge star, John Sullivan. Huge star.

And everybody's favorite, like the American dream hero. Yeah, and his thing was he was one of those Irish kids that was fucking racist. Racist kid. He would not fight black kids. He thought he's a heavyweight champ and he's exhausted all contenders. So he's like, you know what? And when he meant exhausted all contenders, he meant all white contenders. So he's like, you know what? And when he meant exhausted all contenders, he meant all white contenders.

Even though Jack Johnson was the clear favorite to challenge him, he was like, no, I'm not going to do it. It's like beneath him to even get in the ring with a black guy. He's like, the black guys have their own boxing. And so John Sullivan retires. At 34 years old, he retires. Or 32 old he retires or 32 he retires he wanted because he was like i'm retired champ i beat all these white guys i won't fight the black guys i got nothing more to do i'm going to my farm and that's that it's that's that so he goes to his

farm and gains 100 pounds but jack and jack johnson keeps fighting he keeps fighting keeps killing everyone that comes in his way i mean people now want to come to matches just to see how—I mean, Jack Johnson was just so much bigger than everybody else. He was stronger than everybody else. You know, he would talk shit to the opponent's corner men or talk shit to the crowd. He would have conversations with the front rows of the crowds while he's boxing. That's why I said he looks like he exists outside time because when you watch the footage, I mean, he wore gold teeth. He had gold fronts, you know, like a kid in the fucking, in the rap game in the 90s or now, right?

I says, yeah. Tattoos on his fingers. You got fronts? You got caps? You want them, though. Not yet. Not yet. Yeah.

And he would talk shit to the opposing camp and ringside and announcers while he was fighting the way mayweather or roy jones jr was right now he was the first dude to do it right and it's like that shit didn't look it doesn't look like it's happening in 1908 when you're watching you learn like if they made this footage like normal speed the way they can correct shit now you'd be yo, that fight looks like it's happening now. Right. Because he had the swag of boxers now. And he became, Jack Johnson became so good that even white people, even who was the famous

writer who wrote Call of the Wild? Jack London. Even Jack London, who was a known fucking racist. Fucking racist. Big time racist. Even Jack London wrote to John Sullivan like you need to fight this guy.

Yeah. He wrote like a public opinion piece was like you need to fight this guy because he's just killing everybody. So to John Sullivan's

credit even though he's a racist piece of shit and he was clearly scared of Jack Johnson he lost over a hundred pounds to get back into fighting shape

in like six months. We're confusing. We're actually confusing. I just realized. But it like six months we're confusing we're actually confusing i just realized but it's okay we're confusing john sullivan with jim jeffries with jim jeffries sorry so let's go back for a second just to clear that up dumb white guys that got demolished by jack johnson that's all you really need to know because when i see you boxing with sergio you just look like one of those clunky guys that jack johnson beat the shit out of yeah i would just be jack johnson's fucking lunch meat.

Yeah. So we got a little confused. Everything I said about John Sullivan's correct, except for the fact that he retired and went to his farm. What happened? John Sullivan was the Babe Ruth of boxing. The first heavyweight champion of America was John Sullivan. That is true. Right?

He was a racist kid, and he said he would not fight blacks. That is true. And he actually never a racist kid, and he said he would not fight blacks. That is true. And he actually never did fight. He never did fight blacks. What happened was, as that was happening, Jack Johnson was starting to box. The guy who came to Galveston to train him was named Choyansky. Choyansky. So he wasn't even an Irish kid.

I don't know what the fuck he is. Is that Polak? Polak might be Bruce. Whatever it is. Is that Polak? Might be Polak. Might be Bruce. Whatever it is. Either way, get him away from me. Anyway, they became friends and they went to Memphis and they were staging boxing exhibitions and they got arrested because boxing was illegal only in certain places. It was a new sport.

It was deemed violent. Right. Now this is what happened. Jim Corbett. That's that Canadian kid. Who was another racist guy who used to wear a thong. Yeah, those kids used to

fight and fucking thot. Truthfully, Google picture Jim Corbett boxing. He boxed in a full thong and make no mistake, kid had a nice, high, tight ass

like Giannis did when he was 23. Cause yeah, I did have a nice, I had like a, Gianni had a nice, tight ass. And I had a high ass too.

He had a high, nice, fucking tight, high, tight Jim corbett cousin when i was 23 i was fucking jack you were fucking jack but you did have fumes because you're a swarthy greek it is what it is it is what it is what it is go another language but that's good enough all right um so jim corbett he was a canadian kid racist kid everyone's racist back then right and what's interesting to me is like, you know, John Sullivan was an Irish kid. There was a time where the Irish were discriminated against too.

But I have to say, they assimilated into America because of white privilege. I buy that as white privilege. It's like your skin is white, so they assimilated easier. They had an easier time. Black people have a fucking raw deal in this country. Because black people can complain until they want. I get it. Yeah.

The more you learn, they had a fucking raw deal. Absolutely. So anyway, Jim Corbett beats John Sullivan, Canadian kid. And he had this defensive fighting style. And at the time now, Jack Johnson's rising the ranks in the Negro League and there was a Negro Boxing Federation and he's just

knocking dudes out. He beats the shit out of everybody. He's just winning and he doesn't And he's winning and also let me just add because Jack Johnson

obviously you know black fighting in the Negro Leagues he's not even really going full force because he doesn't want to beat up black people.

He really has got a hunger to kill he wants to beat the whitey back. He wants to beat whites and I get it. He wants to put a beating on whitey. I get it.

So he's beating these black champions and real savage fighters too. Just like in the Negro Leagues in baseball, the black boxing league had some fucking savages in it. Some good boxers. Yeah, like Satchel Paige from the Negro League threw back-to-back no-hitters. One righty, one lefty. I mean, it's kind of wild. That didn't happen. It's what it is, though.

It sounds fun. That's a callback. That happened on an earlier episode. I remembered you said that fact. But he did something wild. I think he did throw back-to-back no-hitters. Yeah. Yeah.

So Jack Johnson kind of invented this defensive fighting style that, like, you know, it seems like John Corbett kind of maybe took and then john corbett got all the credit for this new kind of defensive style but it was jack johnson right when he beat sullivan right so there it is fucking honky stealing black culture again cultural appropriation you thong wearing son of a bitch yeah so he got all the fucking credit and yeah john corbett used to fight in a thong yeah when you go back and look at it i mean it's a piece of dental floss in his ass cheek. Yeah, and it fucking, I'm not going to lie, I excused myself and went to the bathroom

to spank it. You got a creeper, no? Yeah. Because when you get a half chub, it's called a creeper. Okay, a creeper. Because it's creeping on a full boner. It's creeping on a full boner. Call him a creeper.

Because when I used to play basketball, you know what I would do? Because I'm not comfortable with how small my penis looks limp. Yeah. So when I was around the guys, I'd go to a stall to take a piss, and then I would chub it up. I'd beat it against the wall or just stroke it a few times, and then go back out naked with a creeper. With a creeper.

So it looks a little bigger. Go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys and tell us your best creeper story, guys and girls. Yeah. Patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. Guys and girls. Yeah. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. So in 1902, by 1902, Jack Johnson had fought everybody.

Everybody. Like 27, 28 fights. 28 and 0. He just... Knockouts. Yeah. He's just... Black fighters, a few white. He had crossed the color line.

And then Jim Jeffries, who's retired. He's a retired champion. Wait, we got to introduce Jim Jeffries. Not the comedian from Australia. So Jim Corbett is this Canadian, finally agrees to fight Jack Johnson. Jack Johnson beats the shit out of him. He beat the shit out of Corbett in his thong. He beat the shit out of him. But Cor the shit out of Corbett in his thong. He beat the shit out of him.

But Corbett wasn't the champ at the time. He was just a fighter, a white fighter that agreed to fight Jack Johnson and got annihilated. Yeah, they did it in Australia, right, where he got his ass kicked? Yeah. Was that Corbett? Yeah. No, that wasn't Corbett. That wasn't Corbett?

In Australia, that was Tommy Burns. Oh, that was Tommy Burns. So which one's Corbett? Corbett was not Canadian. Corbett was from Boston. Oh. Burns was the Canadian. Burns which one's Corbett? Corbett was not Canadian. Corbett was from Boston. Oh. Burns was the Canadian. Burns was Canadian.

He was fighting under a pseudonym. He was a racist. I mean, they're all racist. Corbett was racist. Yeah, so who's Corbett? He's just a Boston kid. But Corbett was a, he did fight in a nice thong piece, though. And he became the champ for a little while, but then he got fucking knocked out.

Then he got fucking knocked out. Oh, then Burns beat him, right? Burns beat him. But then Corbett fought Johnson. It was like the first white versus black fight. And Johnson just absolutely knocked his fucking head off. I mean, he beat the shit out of him. Yeah.

I mean, he would beat these guys. He did it laughing. Yeah. He'd be laughing, talking to the ringside people. I mean, you have to. There's a great documentary called Unforgivable Blackness. You have to watch Unforgivable Blackness. By Ken Burns.

And it really captures what Jack Johnson was all about. He just didn't give a fuck at a time where that could get you killed. He was beating the shit out of this white guy in a stadium full of white guys. Who wanted to kill him. Who wanted to kill him. And also, the whole country, it was at this time of bullshit racial superiority where they felt like white people were just superior. It's like, hey, he's a black guy,

he's not as physically gifted or mentally as gifted. And Jack Johnson was just fucking annihilating them. It's like what Jesse Holmes did at the Olympics in Munich when Adolf was telling people that the Germans, like you think, are fucking superior. And like, we're the Aryan race. And then Jesse Owens just came and beat the shit out of him. Because you know who's superior?

Black kids. Y'all. Yeah, you're a cock. This is canal des racistes. Yeah. So I'm sorry. I got those two confused. So Burns, whatever.

Anyway, Jack Johnson beats the shit out of Jim Jeffries' brother. Jim Jeffries is a champ. Jim Jeffries' brother whose name is Jack Jeffries So Jim Jeffries is the one that goes and retires on his farm undefeated Yeah And he's the champ Oh that's what happened Jim Jeffries retired and then one of these white boys took the title Jim Corbett right?

Cause like whatever they fought each other And then fucking Burns He refereed the match kind of thing Some bullshit Some bullshit But the thing to really know is Jim Jeffries retires. He won't fight a black guy. So he's like, I retired.

I beat everyone. He retires at like 34 or something younger than. No, he retires at like 28. Yeah. And for six years. And gains 100 pounds. Yeah, he just lives on his farm. And then these other white boys fight Jack Johnson.

And he beats the shit out of them. Right. He actually was held like back then it was like they'd fight 20 rounds and there was no knockdown rule. No. So he would just knock these dudes down and then pick them up and he would actually hold a few of them up. Yeah.

And just so he could beat them more. Yeah. He was really trying to hurt them. It was so awesome and it was so awesome. Obviously Giannis and I aren't black but we were so we were like screaming with pride at the TV that he would beat the shit out of these racist fucks

I know that being racist was a product of the time I'm aware of that but still like you have to know how fucking dumb you're being by thinking someone's inferior because of the color of their skin

so I'm happy that they got their fucking asses handed to them white kids are insecure kids white kids are very insecure and being insecure you think racism comes from insecurity being it I've told I said I've said this to you privately before being insecure yeah as a man is the most disgusting fucking quality to me it actually makes my blood boil when I see a fucking insecure man around a woman like some of our peers that i've told you i've gotten to the

point where it's got to the point where i'm seconds away from being like if you talk to her like that one more time because you think i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna smash your head off this fucking counter uh-oh steel pipe chrissy d yeah fucking gets really pissed off when he sees an insecure man treat a woman badly i fucking hate fucking hate it. Because it's gross. It's insecure. And you're a weak fucking piece of shit. And you think it comes from insecurity. It comes from being insecure.

How and what? Could you describe it? How does that translate from insecurity? Because you're scared of the power the woman has. Or you're scared of what your dad used to do to you and how he used to beat you up. So now you feel like you need to get power back. You need to get power back that you didn't have when you were a little kid

or you don't have power in your life so you gain power by exercising it over a woman. You fear powerless so you try to make up for that by- And it's disgusting because if you fucking were a real man, you just have power in this world because make no mistake, no matter what Kamala Harris tells me,

the world is dominated by men. Ways of shame. Yeah, you were right on top of that one, Zach. I see. I'm just kidding, but the first parts of it were true and accurate. I will vote for Kamala Harris. She's the next president. Yeah.

So back to 1902. So back to 1902, Jim Jeffries, Jack Jeffries, Jim Jeffries' brother's a fighter, and he fights Jack Johnson, and Jack Johnson beats the shit out of him. Beats the shit. While Jim Jeffries is at ringside, like this is a fucking Rocky movie. So Jim Jeffries actually, unlike John Sullivan, Jim Jeffries did fight blacks, and he did beat a lot of them. He was a legit fighter. Who? Jim Jeffries. Okay. So Jim Jeffries did fight blacks, and he did beat a lot of them. He was a legit fighter. Who?

Jim Jeffries. Okay. So Jim Jeffries, yeah, but not Jack Johnson. He wouldn't fight Jack, no. And at this point, Jack Johnson was the Negro heavyweight champion. They had their own league, and guess what his nickname was, which I loved? What? The Big Smoke.

Yeah, Big Smoke. I like that, the Big Smoke. what the big smoke yeah big i like that the big smoke so jack johnson uh eventually uh he beats all the fucking white people he beats all the white fighters he beats all the black fighters and the white america is starting to really get uncomfortable because they're insecure fucks because they're insecure little dick fucks so So Jack Johnson. So finally what happens is now the writer from Call to War. Now Jack London says to Jim Jeffries, it's gotten to the point now, Jimmy, where you need to fight Jack Johnson. If you really want to be the champ, because America is speaking now. They're saying, listen, we don't recognize Jim Jeffries is the champ, but Jack Johnson is so good that somebody needs to fight him and win.

And that needs to be the white champ. The only man who can do it is Jim Jeffries. That's what they're saying. The first really great white hope. The first great white hope. And he's 100 pounds overweight. So to Jim Jeffries' credit, he loses 100 pounds, gets in top-notch fucking shape, and then the fight is scheduled to be fought.

Reno. Reno, Nevada. This is one of the first times, like, boxing is big in Nevada now. It's one of the first times that, you know, Nevada Boxing Commission, it's like their first big chance. He fights, Jim Jeffries fights Jack Johnson. And it's about 20,000, 30,000 people there. Jack Johnson, he says this afterwards. And if you watch the videotape, some fucking wild things happened. If you watch the video, you know, it's 1910, so it's like grainy footage.

Before 1910. No, it's 1910. It's 1910 at this point? I think it's 1910. Sure. So I'm pretty paused. So when did Jack Johnson fight Jim Jeffries for the heavyweight title? I believe it's 1910.

So he says after the fight that he could have beaten him in the first or second round but it's just he didn't want there to be a riot he didn't want there to be a riot that's what they assume he never said it but that's what people assume because he could have so he finally in the 15th round he's just toying with him he's beating him at finally 15 round he knocks Jim Jeffries down eight times in one round and punches him out of the ring through the roof through the rope i mean he i mean do you understand what we're saying to you right now in a country that hate it would be like it would be like right now if the fucking boys showed up to kabul afghanistan which we still are there loud and

proud and i'll do whatever our fucking lord and Savior Donald Trump tells us to do. So if he says stay, then we're staying. If he says go, then we're going. I don't care what fucking Cortez tells me to do. Wei Zhongxian, please. Wei Zhongxian, I'm kidding. Wei Zhongxian. Wei Zhongxian.

I'm too scared to go to war. I'm just kidding. But it would be like if we, whoever the leader of ISIS was, like the fucking top-notch fucking dog, we go to fucking Baghdad yeah and one of our boys knocks his fucking head off through the fucking ring yeah like that's how great it would be it's like it's unheard of it's on he was fearless he was fearless to do what he did to jack johnson

first of all there were no black people allowed in the arena so it's all white 12 15 000 white people all they want to do is see jim jeffries win and fucking jack johnson knocks him out of the arena and he was talking to the corner men he the corner men turned out to be uh jim jeffries big corner man turned out to be jim corbett the guy who boxed in the thong who was yelling racial slurs at Jack Johnson that even Jack Johnson said, I can't even say what he was saying to me because it's really disturbing. He would just smile at them and talk shit. It was hilarious. And he just kept saying,

he never lost his cool. And he was saying things that you just want, like the good guy to say in a movie. He was saying like, Jim, does this hurt? Am I hitting you too hard? Why don't you hit me a little harder? Jim, why don't you try to hit me in the chest?

Where'd you learn how to hit? Where'd you learn how to hit? Oh, did Jim Carver teach you how to hit me in the chest where'd you learn how to hit where'd you learn how to hit oh did Jim Corbett teach you how to hit because this is not good and then he fucking knocked him through the ropes and out of the fucking ring

and became the first black heavyweight champion ever but the funniest the great thing not the great thing the fucking just insecure

dumb white America government thing that happened is when he was knocking Jim when he was knocking Jim, when he was knocking Jim Jeffries out, they stopped, the government made the video people stop the tape. They did that with Burns.

And there's, no, I thought it was, did that with. Well, then they did it twice because they also did it with Burns, that fight in Australia. The police stopped the fight and the camera. They didn't stop the fight. They stopped the camera. They didn't want the country to see it. Yeah. When he, when he knocked out Burns. Yeah. They stopped the camera. They didn't want the country to see it. Yeah, when he knocked out Burns, that dumb Canadian fuck, the police stopped the fight

and the camera when he got knocked out for good in the 14th round. Yeah. And that's when he became the first black champion of all time when he beat Burns. And then he beat the shit out of fucking Jim Jefferies after that, the comedian. Yeah. Well, yeah, the same name, Jim Jefferies. So, yeah, I think he did it twice, though. I think they stopped it because they didn't want America to see that.

It was just, and then, so he becomes champ, but then, you know, white America's always going to find a way to get you. It's just what they do. And that kid you were talking about before, that middleweight who we kind of had that where he punched and he knocked the shit out of him. The guy went off script and punched. His name was Stanley Ketchup. Oh, Stanley Ketchup, who was actually Jack Johnson's friend. They were friends. He was a middleweight.

He was a lot littler. Yeah. It was kind of a stage fight because they both said, like, hey, we're going to make it go long. And then Stanley Ketchup actually knocked him down. Stanley Ketchup was actually a really good fighter. He was just a lot smaller than Jack Johnson. He was from Pittsburgh. He went off script and punched him.

And then Jack Johnson was like oh oh shit and then he hit knocked him out so hard that they say his tooth his teeth went through his glove yeah so that's just what happens

when you go off script that's just how fucking hard he hits with Jack Johnson and then but then unfortunately Jim Jeffries gets his ass clipped and Jim Jeffries admits even at my best

I couldn't beat this guy yeah so at least Jim Jeffries says that yeah heipped and Jim Jeffries admits, even at my best I couldn't beat this guy. Yeah, so at least Jim Jeffries says that. Yeah, he says that, but now people fuck, there's race riots all over the country. Now Jack Johnson is a legit, like one of the most famous people in the world. And white people are depressed and upset and angry and there's riots.

There's riots. There's race riots all over the country because of this boxing match. Let's be honest. If I was alive in 1910, obviously, I wouldn't have the same views as I have now. And I'd probably just be a racist white kid. When Jack Johnson beat who would have been my hero, Jim Jeffries, I would have had a nice piece of pound cake because I would have needed some sweets because I'm depressed. Yeah. But there was race riots all over the country.

Actually, a lot of people got hurt. It was fucking brutal. And actually, some black people beat up some white people too. They got amped up. Yeah. They got amped up. Yeah. Because, you know, fucking their guy just beat the shit out of the Great White Hope

and I understand it. Good for him. Dude, white people were gross back then. Yeah. It was fucking gross. But let me just tell you something a little bit about Jack Johnson before we go. His first wife was black, but this kid loved toots. He loved white puss.

He loved white puss bad. He married the first. And make no mistake, toots in the early 1900s had fumes. They had fumes because they all had muffs. Yeah, they were muffs, and they were all scared of getting killed by Jack the Ripper. Yeah, so his first wife was black, but then his second wife, he married a white prostitute, and they lived in an all-white neighborhood together. With a toot!

Because Jack Johnson did not care. You just didn't do that. He's a definition of wild, Jack Johnson. He is fucking wild. So he marries a white prostitute and then moves into a white neighborhood, which you just did not do. He was so wild. Booker T. Washington, who was one of the biggest black advocates for black black people one of the biggest intellectuals uh you know scientists of all time and all time in our country's history um Booker T Washington

his whole thing was like look things are going to be separate for the foreseeable future let's just concentrate on our shit let's stop focusing on trying to integrate with white people let's just make our shit great and he hated he hated jack johnson because at that time there was this whole movement just like now you have black lives matter uh movement i mean it has nothing to do with each other but this was an actual movement where people would march and hold signs and these guys were called it was called the new negro movement and these kids didn't give a fuck they wanted to integrate and jack johnson was really like the best example of that new Negro movement.

And Booker T. Washington hated it. He's like, that's not the way to go. But Jack Johnson didn't give a fuck. One of his famous quotes is like, how do you deal with all this racism? He says, I just live like it's not there. And that's kind of how he lived. He just made it in his mind. He pretended like it wasn't there right you know a lot of people

have the other the opposite approach where they like see it everywhere or they focus on it where it is he just pretended like it wasn't there i mean deep down he knew it was there but he just lived like it wasn't and he it was almost like magic it made all the white people go like i guess they just didn't know how to handle that right because he did shit that's so outlandish that's so shit that you really didn't do i think he just made people the reason why nobody killed him or anything is because they just couldn't believe they were probably scared of his fearlessness right they didn't know what to do with it right so it's wild he married white women he lived in the fucking area he had a couple fights where the police just didn't show the footage of him actually fucking knocking dudes out.

He's such a smart dude, he patented a wrench. Yeah. He liked to drive fast cars, right? And so he was a smart dude. He would read books like crazy. And he actually patented a wrench that he used to fix one of his fancy cars that he fixed himself. Right. And he patented it, and it became a wrench that mechanics used.

But then he did some jail time, though. He did some jail time, too. He would speed in his car. Yeah. And you know what he told one cop? This is how fucking wild Jack Johnson was. He caught him going one way, and he told the cop, wait, wait, wait, don't write the ticket yet.

Just wait for me to come back, and you can give me two tickets. Yeah. How fucking wild is he? I fucking love it. He's like, I'm going to keep speeding, so you might want to wait for me to come back so you can get me twice. I think he died in a car accident. Yeah, and he's also saying with that, like, I have so much money. He's like making it rain on the cop.

He's like, I don't give a fuck. Because this was like the early 1900s he was acting this way. Fucking wild kid. And then he had a downfall after that. Yeah. Then the government was like we got to find a way

to get Jack Johnson. He's causing riots in the streets. He's showing us up as the white government. So they made up this bogus rule that because one of his wives

was a prostitute or one of his ex-wives who like didn't like him anymore that he said they got him on charge that he ferried that he brought prostitution across state lines and that was a federal crime yeah and then he started drinking uh one of his prostitute one of his prostitute wives killed themselves yeah he beat the shit out of a couple

of his wives yeah he would drink he beat the one he beat but she came back to him it just happens it's like you know people want to act like everybody's all good. It's like what he did was great, but you know, sometimes you beat the shit out of your wife. It happens. Yeah, but supposedly they really did love each other. He was a drunk. He felt bad about it. She killed herself. He was depressed about it. He spent all his money. Things started to get bad. He had a

downfall and then he died. But look, the kid was the definition of fucking wild. One of my favorite figures in American history Jack Johnson first black heavyweight champion of all time he had no fucks to give didn't give a fuck

he acted like racism didn't exist he beat the shit out of white people at a time where they were just lynching black people he fucked white women openly and married them at the time where that would get you lynched if you were even if there was even a rumor that a black guy was talking to a white woman yeah he might get lynched he's the kind of guy 100 if i was alive at that time i would do

anything i could to get in his lap you would right yeah that's the kind of that's he's a real masculine that's the perfect lap for chrissy bitchips to sit in yeah and cause when you look at the clothes he used to wear yeah I mean he was a sharp loud fucking flamboyant dresser driving race cars

I wish we could hear his voice there's no recordings of his voice I wish supposedly they said he spoke with like a slow southern kind of soft

he was from Galveston so he probably had a little bit of that but also which is hot yeah cause he was always smiling always relaxed

and he would beat the shit out of whatever honk he came in front of him it's what it is yeah fuck you America first black American hero

in the modern times Jack Johnson happy black history month we got three more weeks cause unlike women we respect we're gonna do black men yeah

it's what it is yeah join the patreon patreon.com slash bay ridge boys thank you guys so much for being valuable members of the Maytrikey. Let's go sock some dicks. Yas.

Hello? Sarah? Hello? Hey, Sarah Hagen-Miller, what's up? This is Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas from the History Hyenas giving you a call. Yeah! Oh, what's up? Hey, Sarah, we just want to let you know we could talk for a minute.

When you hear hey, Bert, when you hear the hey, Bert button, have hey when you hear hey bert when you hear that that means you got five seconds and then we're hanging up because we got too many members now we don't have time we want to first thank you for your service and say hello who are you where are you from i'm from huntington yeah wow she's out on the island yeah what are you doing right now You guys actually scared me after When it came to Guessing I'm a substitute teacher From Long Island I nailed it Yeah cut I nailed it What are you doing right

What are you doing right now I'm actually Home from work now Just relaxing And chilling Right You live out on the island So let me guess what you're doing right now

You're discussing plans About maybe getting sushi Later with your friends And then you want to talk to all your friends Of whether you should have your wedding at Oheka Castle Or at something farms Farmingdale Farms Something farms with the word farms in it

Schmidt Farms Yeah Schmidt Farms Do you want to go pick pumpkins and talk about the Jets? Only two get married at Oheka Castle Only who? What did you say? Only who gets married at O'Hickey?

I said only two get married at O'Hickey. Yeah! That's me. That's where I'm getting married. I'm a fucking two. I know. I know. I'm messing with you.

Sarah Hagen Miller. All right. What are you doing for the rest of the day? You want to fucking have a lean cuisine and have a beer on the neutral staircase with me? Oh, yeah. I am a lean staircase. Fuck yeah. You? Oh, yeah. In our lean staircase. Fuck yeah.

You sound like a papa. I can't say it. You sound like a papa. Peace. Are you a peace? I don't know. I guess so. Of course you're peace.

All right. We love you, Sarah. If you listen to our podcast, it means you're a fucking peace. Let me just say this right now. You're one of our top tier toots. We've decided that the $25 members, you guys are the head of our cackle. You're the alpha matriarchs. You guys eat first.

We love you so much. Because of you, we're able to do what we do. Is there anything you want to tell the people right now? You're live on the air on our podcast and they hear you. If you're not a member of the Patreon, you're a toot. Yeah. All right. Thank you, Sarah.

Have a good day. Take care, guys. Love you. Yeah. Yeah. That's how we keep, Sarah. Have a good day. Take care, guys. Love you. Yeah. Yeah, that's how we keep them. I like it with the Heybert tape. Heybert, and tell them in the beginning you got fucking, we're just out. Yeah.

We're not, because then you'll just talk forever. I know, because I'm trying to be a perfectionist. I'm giving them a minute 45 to two before I hit the road. I want to take over the world like Schultz and Hitler. Schultz and Hitler, you German fuck. I hope you go down with a sex scandal. Who's this? This is Patrick

Satazarda Alright Patrick shut up Hey what's up Patrick shut up jesus christ what are you in a fucking helicopter hello what's going on what is what that? Jesus Christ. Hello? He hung up. All right, try him again. He picked up the phone?

Yeah. You guys just witnessed someone being murdered. Try that to me again. What if that was just him farting? Again, Patrick Satazar. What's that kid doing? Hello? Yeah, cuz, what's up?

It's Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. the History Hyenas, a.k.a. what the fuck was that when we just called? What happened? It was a weird connection. I couldn't hear you guys. It sounded like you were farting into the mic. By the way, you have a minute, a minute to a minute and 15 seconds on this call when you hear this hey Bert button. Hey Bert.

That means you only have five seconds. You only have five seconds left. We're going to hang up on you. So what are you doing right now? Tell us where your Johnson is. Yeah. What's your name? What's your name again, cuz?

My name's Patrick. What's your last name? Schmuck and Horfin? Patrick Sitarzadeh. Wow. Sitarzadeh. again cuz my name is Patrick what's your last name schmuckin orphan it's our Patrick sitar today Wow I did a Polish Irish kid likes to have a few fucking bro no no no way from Iranian Iranian oh my god I gotta take a shower yeah Isis just said assalamu alaikum no how you doing buddy yeah you boy where do you live where do you live now patty i live in the silicon valley bay area oh fuck yeah you got a lot of money yeah yeah you're a tech kid you're a tech kid what are you doing today i am a tech kid i'm at work man i'm sitting in my cube oh nice what do you do i'm an electrical engineer yes yeah i don't

like that that means he's a smart kid no i engineer. Yes. Yeah, I don't like that. That means he's a smart kid. No, I don't like what Middle Eastern kids are too smart like that. Hey, by the way. Yes. Wait a second. I think we just had our first Wei Zhong Jing on a phone call. My wife's a Greek physical therapist.

Whoa. That's right. Fuck yeah, baby. Tell her I say her father is disappointed that she didn't marry a Greek. Yeah. Hey, Bert. We got a few

seconds left, Patty. We just want to say thank you so much for your service and thank you for being a valuable member of the matriarchy and we hope that, you know, you still love America after all we put you through. Thanks for all your service, guys. You guys are hilarious.

Love it. You're the best, man. Try to win over your father-in-law. I know he's pissed. Well, he's dead. Oh, thank God. Oh, God. Well, I'm sorry.

Praise be to Allah. He took care of that real quick. Yeah, tell your wife I said thank you and say Greeks are super people. We're number one people. We started everything, and you're lucky to be married to a Greek. She's going to love that. All right, brother. Thank you so much, man.

Thank you for your service. All right, guys. Thanks. Yeah, we just bang them out now. Got to bang them out. Sometimes you just need some German efficiency in here. Yeah, we got too many $25. Remember, it's a good problem to have.

We got champagne problems, as Aunt Eileen used to call them. Yeah, well, Chrissy, I want to tell you. My grandparents came from Bavaria, and we had a hard time. But listen, there's a link with you in the stuff. We got Lisa Johnson. Oh, yeah. Let's call her up. Chrissy, your mother's going to be working late because somebody in the family has to make money

because your father's good for nothing. You start it because this is your girlfriend. Yeah. You want to bang out. Because you can't bang out all of our fans. Why not? Because we are so fucking wild and fun Because I would listen to our podcast

Schultz didn't even know what a podcast was about That's a marketing problem that we have Because too busy trying to become the biggest comedian in the world Yeah, I mean fucking Isis was about to let the number out there again Of a hot girl Yeah, I mean I see We gotta just waterboard you. All right.

Who's this now? Zachary Davis. Zachary Davis. Sounds like he fought in Confederacy. Yeah, it's definitely an American name. Suarez sounds like a kid who was on the losing side of the Mexican-American War. Yeah. Colonel Suarez got killed by Zachary Taylor.

Zachary Davis is his name, right? Zachary Davis. You started off. You got a real Christopher Reeve curl going today. I got to give you a congratulations because I think this is the first week you didn't say, I don't want to be here. Or the only day you don't have a fever.

You feel good today. Am I Chrissy Fever? Yeah, you're Chrissy Fever. You usually just go, I got a low-grade fever and I don't want to be here. I'm tired. But today you're jacked up. Sorry, Mr. Cole. Oh, fuck you.

We can leave him a message. Yeah. Hey, Zach, what's up? This is Chris Stefano. Jan is Pop from the History Hyenas. Your name's Zachary Davis, so you're probably out busy fighting the Confederacy. You racist piece of shit. That's an American name, kid.

Yeah, we'll call you back. Thank you for your service. Thank you for being a $25 non-toot. You are the head of the cackle. Absolutely. All hail Jefferson Davis. Yeah, yank on that pseudo-penis and say yas. They're going to love the messages too right Yeah the messages count

Yeah We gotta still be entertaining In between the calls Cause we're on air Yeah we're on air right now And we're waiting for Rachel And I just want her to get the fuck in here I should be

I should probably be reading Some of these messages While we're in between Cause there's some funny dudes There's some funny messages Some kid just said Billy Heslin Billy Heslin. Billy Heslin.

This kid's a fucking American kid. Hello, Billy Heslin? Yes. Billy Heslin, what's up, buddy? This is Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas from the History Hyenas. How you doing, buddy? Hey, what's going on, man? How are you?

I just want to let you know we have a minute to a minute and a half to talk. When you hear this button, then that means we only got five seconds left and we're going to hang up on you. What are you doing right now, Billy? Honestly, I'm in the bathroom right now. Yeah! He's dropping a fucking deuce! Yeah, taking a nice fat shit.

I just got out of work and I'm taking my post-work dump. Where do you work? You sound like you work on the docks. Yeah, you're definitely a blue-collar kid. Sanitation. Yeah! You know. DSNY.

Yeah, that's right. Good buddies right there. Good benefits. Oh, yeah, man. Now, what'd you throw out? Did you find any fucking good trash today? What'd you throw out? It was just your classic trash.

No, they're putting the plows on ready for the snow tomorrow. Yeah, now when you go to certain neighborhoods, is there a little bit more turbulence with the garbage truck? You know what I mean? Are some neighborhoods a little dirtier than others? Definitely more dirty, but the traffic's probably the worst part. The traffic, right? You got to deal with it. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'm in downtown Brooklyn, so that's no different than Manhattan. Yeah. Forget about it. I mean, he's got an accent like, look, my father was a garbage man. My grandfather was a garbage man. My dog's a cop. My uncle's a garbage worker.

My grandmother was a firefighter. We're fucking New York City kids. Yeah, man. I'm Bay Ridge born and bred, man. Bay Ridge kids. So you want to make America great again? Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Yeah. You're a good fucking kid. You ever go to Panetico And get a sandwich Of course I do And my bank's right over there Capital One Oh yeah Shout out Capital One

Cuz have you tried Picante yet On 3rd Avenue Italian food It's delicious In the 70's right Yeah Yeah

So I got right across From Burger Bistro That's right Absolutely cuz Alright yo listen Thanks for pushing out that dump on us live on air. We appreciate you being a $25 member. For real, man.

It really means a lot to us. Yeah, we know that dump was probably a Campagna pizza from last night. It was like two Subway sandwiches for lunch. Yeah. Juicy Smollett over here. Yeah. Subway sandwich. Yeah.

All right, cuz. Well, thank you so much, man. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you, guys, man. Juicy Smollett over here Yeah Subway Sandwich Yeah Alright cuz Well thank you guys Thank you so much man We appreciate it Thank you You're an honorary Thank you guys man You're an honorary Ridge boy

We love you Billy Thank you Love you too guys Later man Yeah from the Ridge Yeah from Bayfuckin Ridge We're getting support From Ground Zero

Yeah Billy that was a good He was a working class kid Yeah he was a working class kid He said listen I'm taking his shit right now If I'm being completely honest with you I'm taking his He said, listen, I'm taking a shit right now. If I'm being completely honest with you, I'm taking a shit. Be honest with you.

I'm taking a shit right now, but I'll be honest with you, fucking... I love Donald Trump. Yeah, he said, yeah, absolutely, Make America Great. You got Kira Lynch. Yeah, Kira Lynch. Denton Gooden says, Giannis the mobster. I love how at the end of every Walk & Talk episode, we can hear Giannis ask Chris, how much did we get? Referring to the end of every Walk & Talk episode we can hear Giannis ask Chris, how much did we get?

Referring to how much time a Walk & Talk was. He always sounds like a penny-pinching Italian mobster who just stuck up the store with his buddy. Fucking love these guys and that's why I'm a non-tude.

Your phone carrier has incorrectly routed this call. Please contact your phone. I mean, what the fuck? What the fuck does that mean? Thank you. Yo, Denton Gooden is flirting with superfan status.

I've seen Denton Gooden a lot. Thank you for your service, Denton Gooden. DG, Denton Gooden, no relation to Dwight. Falicious says, any Turks around? How would we translate it is what it is? Oil-ish, oil-y. Jeremy Lampert. Jeremy Lampert.

Sounds like a nice white guy. Denise Gomez says, it's what it is. It's es lo que es. No, it is what it is in Spanish. It's es lo que es. Es lo que es. Alexander Buda says, where the fuck is the Wei Zhongxin shirts? Yeah, we got to do that.

Yeah. Hello? What's up, guys? Hi. What's up, buddy? It's Chris DiStefano and Giannis Papas from the History of Hyenas. Hey. What are you doing?

We lost him. What? Hello? Yeah, can you hear us? I'm just walking. Fuck, what's going on? Wherever it is, the connection is kind of bad. Yeah, we got a bad connection with you.

Where are you? Are you in a tunnel? Yeah, I'm in a subway right now. And I'm downtown right now, Honolulu. And this is just where it is. You live in downtown Honolulu? Because you're Hawaiian. Yeah.

They got subways in fucking Hawaii? Fuck, I didn't know we had Dog the Bounty Hunter as a fan. Yeah, they're building underneath the water, underneath the chasms. Wow. Filling it all out. And, uh, yeah. Are you a surfing kid?

You surf? Cuz, what time is it there? It's quite early. It's like 8 o'clock. Holy shit, Cuz. So you're a Hawaiian kid with a job. It's like 11. It's like 11. 11 o'clock.

So he's a Hawaiian kid with a job because he's out and about. He's not sitting in his underwear taking a shit like Billy. Yeah. It's fucking wild, Cuz. Yeah. It would be so fucking sweet if you guys came to Hawaii, man. It's got a nice nightlife, and there's a couple clubs, a couple comedy clubs doing open mic stuff, and that's what I'm working on right now.

And, yeah, just a good crowd. Okay, so we got a few seconds left. I just want to say that you sound like Andrew Cunanan, the guy that killed Gianni Versace. a few seconds left. I just want to say that you sound like Andrew Cunanan, the guy that killed Gianni Versace. I don't know how to react to that. Thank you so much for your service. Enjoy the Honolulu transit system. We appreciate you being a valuable member of the matriarchy.

Yeah. We love you, cuz. Thank you so much. Thanks, cuz. Yeah, they would just cut him off now. They would just cut him off and fucking Andrew Cunanan. Sick fuck. That was all the new ones. We can circle back. We got to cut him off and fucking Andrew Crenna had a sick fuck. That was all the new ones we can circle back. We got to circle back. So it's nice we caught up on the calls.

Well, we missed a few that weren't there. We missed a few. That's not our fault. That's not our fault. That's called. And we can release it. We'll release these calls as a patron bonus episode. No, the whole point is that they have to be on a regular episode.

Yeah. I'm just trying to squeeze shit out. Yeah. I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, now that I brought it up, you remembered, right? Yeah, I just want to go eat Pepe Russo and go home. Because I want Pepe Russo. Calling Michael Hyland. Michael Hyland.

Oh, yeah, we've spoken to this kid, right? Yeah, a couple times. Yeah, this fucking Haybird time limit is great. We may have to give Rachel the Hey Bird time limit. We're going to plug this in. Yeah. Brittany Sullivan said, double the cackles. Two episodes a week is the best thing I've heard since Shahadi's mixtape.

Yeah. Brittany Sullivan's also super fan status. How about this guy's name? Supreme. Your call has been forwarded. Supreme P. Ke name. Supreme. Your call has been for Supreme Peeam Keon. Yeah. He says,

Hey, yo, I just got my episode today and this is the first token every did Patreon. Shouldn't I have gotten it Sunday or am I Franks

and beans based on that sentence structure? Yeah, you're Franks and beans. If nobody told you you're Franks and beans. Who is you you're franks and beats who is this

this will be the last one caroline mcnamara caroline mcnamara hey hello hey listen we got a new thing we're only talking to people for a minute to a minute 15 seconds when you hear the hey burt time limit hey burt that means you got five seconds left so what are you doing what's going on right now? She's a Rhode Island girl, right? Yeah. I'm Rhode Island. I just got my groceries

and I'm unloading my car. Yeah. And you came to see me in Providence, right? I did. And you're a P.E. And I'm the one that sent the picture

to Giannis yesterday because I was at Laugh Boston. Yeah. I know exactly who you are. Did you come on Friday or Saturday to see him? Because I was there on Friday.

Saturday. Ew, you missed me. I was taking a shot. I know. Yeah. But Sergio was hilarious. I love Sergio. Oh, Sergio's the best.

Sergio's a funny kid. He's a Puerto Rican that smokes cigarettes and has a zoo in his one-bedroom apartment. It's just what it is. S-K-S-O-S. So we just wanted to say thank you. You're just a valuable member of the matriarchy and you're a college student so the fact

that you give us 25 bones a month just really means a lot to you and whenever you want, if you want to see a picture of my butt, I'll send it to you. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you. Your membership is so important to us. I want to invite you to my wedding.

Your wedding is like a secret event. I want to invite you to my wedding. Your wedding's like a secret event. I don't know if that's appropriate. It is. No, I can't. You're going to be my plus one, and it's going to be me, you, and he, Bert, in a room. Yeah, we need, Isis needs a date. Would you go with Isis, or would your family be upset that you're hanging out with Sandra Dee?

I'd go with Isis. I mean, everyone deserves a date. Really? But he's got tattoos. He's got tattoos on his fingers, and he's not jacked right now. Yeah, he's not jacked. He's not on a cycle of steroids at the moment. I don't mind tattoos. I mean, the fingers, like, you can overlook it. But he does have horrible grammar, and he has mixtape.

So he's a perfect person to bring home to your father. You're such a sweet girl, and what I love about you is that you introduced your father to the podcast, and now he just doesn't listen anymore. I've got him back on it. Oh, yeah. He watched the special. I made him watch that too.

I appreciate that. Thank you. You're the best. You're the best. Of course. We love you so much. Thank you so much for your continued support.

You're a top level non-tier. Top level, top tier non-tier. And I appreciate you taking that picture with my headshot yesterday. Yeah. I reposted it.

Thank you. I know.ed it. Thank you. I know. I saw. That was awesome. That was a good moment for me. Absolutely. You're the fucking best. Absolutely.

I'm going to come out there and take you to Federal Hill and buy you a fucking sauce with spaghetti. Yeah. That would be a time. Have a good time unloading the groceries. We know that there's a lot of healthy options in there because you're a good kid. And just thank you for having no fumes and being a valuable member of the matriarchy. Thanks, guys.

Talk to you next time. Bye. Yeah, love you. All right. All right. Time for the Patreon. Time for the new Patreon members. Fucking newest members to the matriarchy.

First up, Joe. Joe, one name Joe. You're a plumber. You're a freaking American kid. Thank you for your service. Yeah, even though normally one name is Blacks because it's Joe, we know you're a white plumber. Yeah. Diane Wadalowski.

Wow, that's a Polish girl. Yes. Give me some pierogies. Yeah, she wants a pierogie and she's probably stupid. I'm just kidding. A lot of Ridgewood. Polish got a lot of Ridgewood. No, they're not stupid.

My daughter's godfather's Polish and he's a great guy, so chess. He's a fucking doctor. He's a fucking doctor that got circumcised at 19 like an idiot. And also just got liberated from Dachau. Yeah, it's what it is. He's got a fucking concentration camp head. All right, give it up for Lauren Bufkin Johnson. That is a black girl?

You are a peep. No, Lauren Bufkin Johnson is way... She's way... She's got a picture. Here we go. Here's what you would have named your vagina if you had one or what you call your vagina when you push your dick back. Anna Nikopolou.

Dikandis Koritsaki. She's a girl. Greek girl. Elise Meehan. Wait, that just means she had to sneak away from her father just to be able to listen to our podcast. That's what it is. Elise Meehan. Elise Meehan. Wait, that just means she had to sneak away from her father just to be able to listen to our podcast. That's what it is. Elyse Meehan.

Elyse Meehan. That's a good Irish girl from out on the island. One named Tara. Tara. Hey, girl. She's an Irish girl from Woodside, Queens. Scott Warren. Oh, so she's not Black Tara?

No. Oh, right. Who's that? Scott Warren. Scott Warren. Yeah. Just a principal at a school somewhere in the Midwest. Yeah.

Courtney Quintal. Courtney Quintal. Yeah. Kelly O'Donnell. Kelly O'Donnell. Irish girl. Hello. Paul Newton.

Paul Newton. I love your fucking fig cookies. It's what it is. Eli. Eli, you goddamn son of a bitch. You're from the Bible. Ryan Vargas. Ryan Var Bible. Ryan Vargas. Ryan Vargas.

Listen, cuz. What you need to do is fucking get your soccer game to the next level because you play football. Alicia Lagoon. Alicia Lagoon has no fumes. Speaking of that, next up, Fumeless Wasp from Caucus Mountains. There we go. Russian kid.

Yeah. Funny kid. PPW nominee. One name, Damien. Damien. Wow. We licked each other's dicks and we were seven. That's what it is.

We've all been raped. Alfredo. Alfredo. What's up? The kid's ethnicity is sauce. Jamaica Taylor. Yeah. Beef patty.

We got another beautiful African-American follower. She's white. She's white? Alexander Tabor. I think they're just tricking us now to sound black because they know we got so many black kids. Listen to us. Alexander Tabor. Alexander Tabor sounds like she is- Or Tabor. Alexander Tabor sounds like she is-

Or Tabor. Alexander Tabor? Yeah. Sounds like she's got a- It's Alexander? Well, it's a guy. His name is Alexander. Well, he's a woman because it's 2019.

Oh, yeah. I don't see gender. One name, Tom. Tom? Yeah. Yeah, he's a kid from MySpace. It's what it is. Yeah.

Kalechi Ndoh. N-D-O-H. That's how far MySpace has fallen, that the kid, his credit is now he listens to history hyenas. Yeah. Kelechi Ndudu. Kelechi Ndudu? Wow.

Finally, another Asian kid. I don't know. Rob Mendoza. Rob Mendoza. I mean, come on. The kid definitely at least played high school baseball. It's what it is. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Mexican kid. Caitlin O'Connell, who looks like a P-E-E. Irish Peace? No. No. No yeah. Mexican kid. Caitlyn O'Connell, who looks like a P-E-E. Irish piece? No. No. Fumes. Kira Lynch.

Another Irish girl? Coyote. Coyote. Connor. Connor, another Irish kid? Coyote. Talia Volcanos. Greek.

With fumes. You have to marry Greek. The point of marriage is not to be happy Point of marriage, Greek She's a pizza, she's a $25 member Thank you for your service That means her pop's restaurant business is doing good Chili cheeseburgers

Jason Gillis He's a wasped out kid Ryan Feltham Ryan Feltham, black kid Right fielder for AAA somewhere It's what it is. Andrew Demetrius. Andrew Demetrius.

Another Greek kid. That means girl, but you're a kid. Okay, so here we go. Next up, Alex Duarte. Alex Duarte? Yeah. Just a dumb white kid. It's what it is.

Joni Serrano. Joni Serranoano listen to me when you come to my house pull your chain will you cross out over your shirt for my matusi christian wentz christian wentz wasped out white he's a no socks fucking boat shoes wearing kid zachary hollywell zachary hollyway is a washed-out, freaking trash kid. I mean, that's a kid from Florida. Definitely owns a gun. Definitely did a little meth.

100%. Mike. Mike? There's a dirty kid. Here's one of my people. Hayden Schniderman. What's his name? Hayden Schniderman.

He's a German. He's a German, and he wants to push. He would like to execute the plan. He wants to execute the plan. Push him, Mr. Hayden. Alexander Buda. Alexander Buda is just a fat kid from Georgia. It's what it is.

Eric Wilson. Eric Wilson, that's finally a true blue black kid. A TBB. Oh, this Pollock got in again. Diane Wadolowski. That's a fucking Polish. She went from five to ten. Yeah.

What a fucking Polish thing to do. She's a Polak, yeah. It's what it is. She upgraded her pledge and good for you. Thank you for your service. Okay, hold on. Now we got. We are so sorry we're behind, but catch it up.

Catch it up. Thank you. Brogan Heron. Brogan Heron? Brogan. Brogan Heron. What a dumb first name. Yeah, that kid's from Kazakhstan. What an idiot. What a dumb fucking kid. Matthew Butterfield. Matthew Butterfield? He's a wasped out kid. The kid owns one pair of

socks. One pair of socks and he probably got abused his child because Leslie's Butterfield. Yeah, and he probably got abused. His child's called Leslie Butterfield. Yeah, and he's got no jeans. All he wears is fucking khakis. This kid's a DJ, Matt Gambino. Matt Gambino, listen to me. On Sundays, you don't call my fucking house because my mom is working making a sauce. Yeah, Steve Geralt.

Steve Geralt? Yeah. Sounds like a dick. Sounds like an asshole. Yeah, fuck you, Steve. Thank you. John D. John D.

Wow. This kid, you know where he's from? Where? 1997. Yeah, Johnny D. All right, one name, Jessica. Jessica? Yeah.

Fucking cute. Jessica Rabbit. She's a rabbit. Yeah, she's fucking cute. She's from a cartoon. Dennis Young. Dennis Young? Boring fucking kid.

He sells insurance. It's what it is. Yeah, kid's probably from Seattle. Seattle. He's fucking got a Seattle vibe, but thank you for the service, Dennis Young. Dennis Young? Boring fucking kid. He sells insurance. It's what it is. Yeah, kid's probably from Seattle. Seattle. He's fucking got a Seattle vibe, but thanks for the service, Dennis Young. Yeah, shave down your pubes because your balls got fumes. Leslie Coffin. Leslie Coffin?

Jewed out girl. Yeah. That's what it is. This girl put up a picture. She looks like a piece. Erin Freno. Peace guns. Asia Cadwalder.

She's a Chinese porn star. It's what it is. Oh, this girl looks like a piece. Jackie Shenian. She's an Irish girl with no fucking fumes. No fumes. Fumes. Taylor Pepin looks like another piece.

Oh, fuck. Taylor Pepin, like another piece. Oh, fuck. Taylor Pepin, you cannot get more wasps than the name Taylor. If you got a first name Taylor, your parents own a pony. Sean Harper. Sean Harper, another wasped out fucking white kid, but he's trash. Trash. Angie Ireland. Angie Ireland, Irish girl, probably out on the island.

Emma O'Brien island Emma O'Brien Emma O'Brien wow what are we a potato famine get out of here you mix yeah I love you

thank you for your service we appreciate it you lucky charms you sunburned pale monkeys yeah Paul D whose picture is

him as a mezzamoji with a dumpster on fire anyone named Paul D definitely is from the year 1999. Jonathan

Calderon. We all know that that is a Puerto Rican kid. And so is this girl, Pamela Tavares, but she looks like a peas. Pamela Tavares. Mary Sedoni. Mary Sedoni. This is just tri-state area.

This is the tri-state area section. Italian, Puerto Rican. What's next? Jew and black? That's New York City. Next one. Tony 212. Tony 212.

That's definitely a kid from Ridgewood, Queens. It's what it is. Chris, you done good for the neighborhood. Max Gronopilowski. Kid's got gonorrhea. Yeah, 100%. It's what it is. Christian DeLeon. Christian DeLeon? Yeah, that

kid does not know his father. It's what it is. Next, one word, effelicious. Effelicious? Yeah, black girl, she wants to get in Chris' ball sack. It's what it is. Bree Reonan. Bree Reonan? Reonan, R-H-I-N-N-O-N. Oh, it's R&B singer

Rihanna, who's a fan of ours, who's using the fucking pseudonym. Thank you. Jeremy Lambert. Jeremy Lambert. Boring kid. Fucking boring fucking kid. He works at a T-Mobile store. I-V-L-O-S-S.

Live loss, if loss. I don't know. It's the last one. Live loss? I've lost, I've lost. I don't know what his fucking name is. I'll tell you what it is. Yeah, that's a Puerto Rican kid.

Yeah, and I just want to read out our message of the day who somebody sent me. You are really not funny at all. Just letting you know. And I want to see you versus Theo in the ring. Nice skin tone. Are you allergic to the sun? You look like a goddamn AirPod. You fucking idiot.

Yeah, it's a cute kid. Thank you. Yeah. Whoever sent that. The hate messages are funnier than the good ones. So thank you guys so much for joining the matriarchate, being a part of our service. Thank you. Thank you to becoming a non-tute.

You're finally doing something with your life and paying for the fucking podcast you love, and we can't do it without you. You are very important. Thank you for your service. We read all the comments on patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. If you haven't joined, what the fuck are you doing? You're doing. Yeah. Thank you for your service. We read all the comments on patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. If you haven't joined, what the fuck are you doing? You doing. Yeah.

Thank you for your service. Bye. ស្លាប់ប់ប្រាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.